Ch.154: Why Not Xu Li; Why Not Jing Wen 2
Seeing there was a sudden intruder, Jing Wen was alarmed, “WHO ARE YOU?!”
However, the one was questioning Xie Lian wasn’t actually a ‘man’, but an extremely coarsely made stone statue of a man, its body bare but wrapped full of cloths, somehow bizarre and at the same time silly.
No wonder there was no sound of footsteps when he walked but an odd thumping sound; no wonder when Pei Ming and Ling Wen saw him they were both stunned; and no wonder Pei Ming said Ling Wen was talking shit with eyes wide open. Because, this thing looked nothing like a female ghost from head to toe.
Pei Ming and Ling Wen were both wrapped all over by a scroll-like material, tightly bound in Jing Wen’s hands, unable to move. Xie Lian finally snapped out of it, “???Me???”
However, Jing Wen said, “You’re the Crown Prince of XianLe?”
Xie Lian was taken aback, “Huh? You actually recognize me? Well that truly is…”
But, it wasn’t strange. When Xie Lian first ascended, it was an earth-shattering ordeal. He might not know every heavenly official of the Upper Court, but every heavenly official of the Upper Court knew him. Just like now, he completely did not remember how Jing Wen looked like, but Jing Wen still remembered him, “Of course. Your Highness’ journey of godhood experienced such ups and downs, it’d be difficult not to recognize you!”
Xie Lian was weirdly touched and subconsciously replied, “I’m honoured, I’m honoured… But, how did you become…”
“How did I become this form?” Jing Wen finished for him.
Xie Lian cleared his throat softly and nodded, feeling like his question was a bit impolite.
However, Jing Wen used this chance to set off, “ISN’T IT ALL THANKS TO THAT BITCH NANGONG JIE! After the Palace of Jing Wen declined, my spiritual powers became weaker and weaker, and she’d add insult to injury, coming after me to try and kill me. I’ve no other choice but to possess this stone statue in order to survive til now!”
“Compared to you I’m not that bad.” Ling Wen said, “You’d personally order me to stay in the Palace of Jing Wen until midnight, then turn around and say I shamelessly hang around til late to harass you. Words murder without form; I’ve been much nicer responding with blatant violence.”
Then, he suddenly kicked out, and stomped directly on Jing Wen’s lower body. To Xie Lian, this move really didn’t look like it’d be powerful, since a stone statue wasn’t a flesh body, and at most maybe a couple cloths on Jing Wen’s body would rip. Yet unexpectedly, Jing Wen let out a tragic wail like his nuts really were kicked, and he hastily covered his lower half body.
However, it was too late. That layer of white cloth wrapped around his crotch was kicked off by Ling Wen, and Xie Lian swiftly saw. Under that white cloth, there was nothing.
Nothing meant that although this was a barenaked stone statue, down in his crotch area what was supposed to be there wasn’t there.
This was the statue of a eunuch!
‘So it’s a eunuch slave statue!’ Xie Lian thought.
This sort of stone statues were often seen in the graves of concubines, and were burial effects steeped in the essence of yin*; indeed a good choice for possession. However, that a male heavenly official like Jing Wen who was so small-minded when it came to losing to a woman would end up as a stone statue of a eunuch slave was exceedingly ironic!
Ling Wen burst out laughing, “And here I was wondering why you were so anxious and furious!
So this is why! I can’t reach that high? Look at yourself, how high can you go, I can’t wait to see!
Hahahahahaha…”
Jing Wen ripped off the rest of the cloth that covered his shame and trampled it, furious like he’d gone mad, and grabbed at Ling Wen’s hair, yelling, “SHUT UP! AND HOW MANY HEAVENLY OFFICIALS HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH TO GET WHERE YOU ARE?? DON’T BE SO PLEASED WITH YOURSELF! APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW!”
A large bundle of Ling Wen’s hair was almost pulled off of his head, but he endured the pain without begging for mercy, nevermind apologizing. Pei Ming commented with disgust, “Are you really a civil god? Such a lack of class and elegance, even shrews on the streets are better than you!”
Xie Lian mentally cried grievances, scared that Jing Wen would strangle the two to death on a whim, and cried a “Hey!” in spite of himself, raising his hand, “Calm down! Jing Wen Zhen Jun!
It really doesn’t matter if you have the thing or not! Really! It’s true!”
Jing Wen had Ling Wen in one hand, the other covering his groin, and he roared, “LIES! HOW CAN IT NOT MATTER?! WHY DON’T YOU GET RID OF YOURS AND SEE??”
Xie Lian said earnestly, “It’s true! Believe me! Even though! I have the thing! But! It’s the same as if I don’t have one! Because I’m that!”
He once again sacrificed himself, using his own person as proof. Hearing this, Jing Wen seemed to have calmed a bit, “You’re what?!”
“Just, that! You understand.” Xie Lian said, “And even if I have it, I never use it! Cough, actually, whether it be male heavenly officials or lady heavenly officials, or… other heavenly officials, such things are all superficial, no need to be so preoccupied…”
Jing Wen cut him off, “If you don’t think it matters, why don’t you chop it off to prove it?”
Xie Lian: “???”
Jing Wen immediately added, “Didn’t you say it makes no difference? Hypocrite. You’re obviously reluctant in losing the thing, so don’t you use that bullshit to cajole me! I’m no young’un who’ll cry and repent just because you’ve given me two candies! It’s alright if you won’t chop yours off, I’ll chop off his!”
He was referring to Pei Ming. Pei Ming was dumbfounded, “WHAT THE FUCK?!”
Now things were going out of control. Although there were many who wanted to cut off General Pei’s thing, there was no way Xie Lian wanted Jing Wen to get his way here, and he said hastily,
“Jing Wen Zhen Jun! Even though it’s wrong for Ling Wen to bully you after you’ve declined, but if you’ve bullied her too then you’re technically even. There’s no need to be so extreme!” As he spoke to try and create distractions, he secretly released RuoYe at the same time, and it slithered behind Jing Wen like a snake.
However, Jing Wen countered, “Even? It’s not that simple. But now you’ve reminded me, I’ve something I need to grill that bitch! – Nangong, did you play a part in the fall of the Kingdom of XuLi??”
Jing Wen was the civil god worshipped in the Kingdom of XuLi, which meant XuLi was his foundation. If the foundation was ruined, naturally he would be assaulted, even suffer decline.
Thus, it was logical for Jing Wen to suspect Ling Wen. However, after he posed the question,
Ling Wen kept her lips sealed refusing to answer. Jing Wen yelled, “JUST SAY IT! WAS IT YOU CAUSING SHIT IN THE DARK?? I JUST KNEW IT WAS YOU! IT MUST’VE BEEN YOU, OTHERWISE THE KINGDOM WOULDN’T HAVE FALLEN SO FAST! IT’S ALL YOU INSIDIOUS BITCH’S FAULT! THAT IDIOT GENERAL MUST’VE FALLEN IN YOUR HANDS!”
‘Ling Wen hasn’t even responded and you’re answering your own questions…’ Xie Lian thought,
‘Wait, what? What general?’
On the other side, Ling Wen suddenly started snickering under his breath. If it wasn’t because Jing Wen possessed a unik slave’s statue and couldn’t show any expressions, he must’ve been gritting his teeth a long time ago, “What are you laughing about?”
Ling Wen lifted his head slightly and said lightly, “Do you know what the consequences are for calling him an idiot to his face?”
Jing Wen still hasn’t understood when the next moment, the scroll binding Ling Wen suddenly ripped apart, and from the shreds, a hand emerged from within black sleeves and seized his head.
Jing Wen hadn’t even had a chance to speak a word when he was subdued, and upon his coarse face a crack appeared, then another, then another…
Within three cracking sounds, his entire body was shattered into pieces!
As for Ling Wen, he broke free of his bondage and stood where he was as streams of black smoke permeated, a pile of crumbled stones laying at his feet.
So it turned out that the ‘ancient kingdom’ in the legends of the Brocade Immortal was the Kingdom of XuLi, and Bai Jing was also a person of XuLi. Xie Lian was just organizing his thoughts when he heard Pei Ming, who was still tightly bound by the scroll speak up, “Ling Wen? Stop.”
Ling Wen turned around and was stalking towards him step by step. Remembering Ling Wen telling Pei Ming earlier that “He really doesn’t like you”, Xie Lian thought, ‘Oh no, is he going to kill him?’
Ling Wen soothed as he walked, “Bai Jing, he’s already dead. It’s all nonsense, don’t listen to him.”
However, it didn’t seem to be very effective, so Ling Wen turned to Pei Ming, “Ol’ Pei, I’ve no way to stop him. He heard Jing Wen say you’re my lover and has steeled his mind to kill you.
Your Highness, help me!”
No need to ask, Xie lian had already swung his sword and slashed through the scroll binding Pei Ming, and Pei Ming jumped to his feet, the two leaping out of the underground cave, returning to the ground above once more. Looking down back into the cave, they saw Ling Wen had punched through where Pei Ming was just lying and debris flew, his strength considerable, even harder than when Xie Lian was punching to scout for them earlier!
Xie Lian tucked RuoYe away, wrapping it on his wrist, and Pei Ming also worked out the kinks in his arms. After having bound for so long, the swelling on his left arm had gone down somewhat, the bulge of it now looking the size of having been stung by fifty thousand hornets instead of a million.
“What is this fucking resentment…” He started, but before he even finished, Ling Wen had already flashed before him!
The two exchanged a blow, and both were pushed a few meters back. Xie Lian and Pei Ming exchanged a look, thinking things too troublesome, they both bolted at the same time. Xie Lian turned his head back and yelled as he ran, “LING WEN! CAN YOU TRY AND CALM GENERAL BAI DOWN AGAIN??”
Ling Wen was hot on their tail, “I TRIED! BUT HE DOESN’T BELIEVE ME ANYMORE!”
“IT MUST BE BECAUSE HE’S HURT THAT YOU LIED TO HIM!” Pei Ming shouted.
“LING WEN!” Xie Lian cried, “CAN YOU CHANGE BACK TO YOUR FEMALE FORM? THE KILLING STRENGTH WOULD BE REDUCED IN A WOMAN’S BODY!”
“NO!” Ling Wen answered.
“WHY NOT?”
“HE WON’T LET ME CHANGE BACK!” Ling Wen replied.
“I get it!” Pei Ming said, “The bastard is afraid of pressing against a woman’s body! What a wimp!”
RUMBLE! A roof came crashing towards them, almost crushing over Xie Lian and Pei Ming.
Ling Wen cried, “I DIDN’T THROW THAT! YOUR FAULT FOR INSULTING HIM, NOW HE’S EVEN MORE MAD, YOU’RE BOTH IN DANGER!”
Xie Lian cried hastily, “HUH?! WHAT’S IT GOT TO DO WITH ME? I’VE SAID NOTHING! LING WEN, CAN YOU TELL HIM TO COUNT ME OUT PLEASE??”
“BETTER TO COUNT YOU IN, EASIER WHEN THERE’S MORE PEOPLE TO SHOULDER THE BURDEN.” Ling Wen yelled, “YOUR HIGHNESS, WHERE’S LITTLE PEI? THE GUOSHI BAN YUE? YOUR CRIMSON RAIN SOUGHT FLOWER???”
“Don’t count on them, they’ve gone the other direction to search for you both.” Xie Lian yelled back, “We’ve already run for over ten miles, run first talk later! He’s already absorbed over a thousand ghosts, it won’t be wise to face him head on right now!”
Yet unexpectedly, just as the words left his lips, he feet suddenly went light, and his entire body was hoisted up. It wasn’t just him, Pei Ming too, and when they looked closely, turns out the two of them were captured by a large net and were now hanging in the air.
Trouble seemed to have flown over from out of nowhere, and that net seemed to have been made of a special kind of material, and bare hands couldn’t rip it apart. Just then, from all around in the woods at least one or two hundred fang-baring monsters and demons came jumping out, clapping in joy, “CAUGHT THEM!!!!”
“HAHAHAHAHA HOW MANY IS THIS NOW? THIS TRAP IS SO GOOD!”
“LET’S SEE WHAT WE CAUGHT, HOW MANY HEADS!”
It appeared that in a moment of careless panic, they fell into the trap of these low level little minions. Xie Lian reached for Fang Xin without thinking to slash through the net, but when he found his back empty, he realized that Fang Xin had fallen from his grip earlier when the suddenly drew up. Ling Wen had already chased them to the net, and right at his feet was Fang Xin. The mob of little minions hadn’t yet realized just what had come, and they were all overjoyed, “ANOTHER ONE!”
Ling Wen raised his hands and two balls of black ghost fires were ignited in his palms. He raised his head to face Xie Lian and Pei Ming, “You two, this… really isn’t up to me.”
Xie Lian puffed a breath, “Ling Wen, can I ask what would happen if we should be hit by that thing?”
“Last time I used ghost fires this big and hit His Highness Qi Ying, he was injured, but it wasn’t too bad. He could still hop around and run.”
It sounded like the damage wouldn’t be that great, so even if they were hit it wouldn’t be too bad, so Xie Lian and Pei Ming both sighed in relief. “Alright, alright…”
But just as they said the second “alright”, the two balls of ghost fires in Ling Wen’s hands suddenly erupted to ten times the size, turning into two giant pillars of flames blazing to the skies!
Xie Lian: “…”
Pei Ming: “…”
“…But how would things be after getting hit by flames this size I can’t say.” Ling Wen said.
Pei Ming roared, “WAIT! I’M REALLY NOT YOUR LOVER THOUGH?!?!?!?”
“I know that! But it’s useless if we’re the only ones who know!” Ling Wen exclaimed.
That band of monsters and demons were stunned by those two balls of flaming ghost fires, and they quickly drew their weapons, indignantly circling them, shouting arrogantly, “YOU BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU COME STEAL OUR KILL WHEN YOU’RE NOTHING! GET HIM!!!”
However, pathetic little minion like them posed no threat to the Brocade Immortal, and were nothing more another wave of fresh nourishment for him. Ling Wen inclined his head slightly, his pupils reflecting the vibrant light of the ghost fires, looking like he was ready to receive the new heads who were ready to sacrifice themselves. Right at that moment, a wild whirlwind blew by.
Amidst series of terrified wails, that mob of little minions were blown to the sky in a blink of an eye!
Rather than say they were blown to the sky by ‘wind’, it was more like there was a formless, peculiar giant hand that snatched them and hauled them into the sky!
The Brocade Immortal seemed to have sensed something and became alarmed, and the blazing ghost fires in Ling Wen’s hands also dropped some as he scanned the surrounding area. Xie Lian arduously looked up, but the dense branches of trees blocked his sight. The wails of those ghosts also came to an abrupt stop, so he couldn’t figure out what exactly happened above at all. Pei Ming was also alarmed, “Who’s come?”
Alert and watchful for a while, Xie Lian suddenly said, “Do you all not smell that?”
“What?” Pei Ming asked.
“The scent of flowers.” Xie Lian replied.
Pei Ming was confused, “There’re flowers?”
Xie Lian closed his eyes. A moment later, he said with conviction, “Yes. It’s the scent of flowers.”
The scent of flowers was mellow, peculiar, fresh and cool. It came from an unknown place, with an unknown name. It was exceedingly light; exceedingly soft, faint like it wasn’t even there.
Pei Ming furrowed his brows, “I don’t smell flowers, but I definitely smell…”
Before he finished his sentence he felt something drip onto his face. He wiped with his hand without thinking and his pupils shrank.
It was blood.
A couple drops also fell onto the ghost fires in Ling Wen’s hands, and those flames instantly weakened a notch. His expression became even more alarmed, and whipped his head up. In that instant – Falling from the heavens was the blowing rain of blood!
Pei Ming was hung higher than Xie Lian, and the sudden battering of this blood deluge drenched him into a bloody drowned rat, leaving only a pair of eyes that were black and white, round and bulging. The ghost fires in Ling Wen’s hands were long extinguished completely, and he disappeared under the tree to avoid the same end as the defenseless Pei Ming. As for Xie Lian, he suddenly felt the net tear, his body drop, and he plunged downwards. He flipped in the air as he fell, and landed steadily just as the bloody rain was about to descend upon him.
There was no time to escape, so Xie Lian raised his sleeve, ready to block as much as he can.
Yet, after the darkness, he heard a soft, low rumbling of laughter.
Suddenly, the air was filled with the mysterious, alluring fragrance of blossoms.
Xie Lian lifted his head a little and looked up. He didn’t feel any raindrops hitting his face; instead, it was something soft and gentle brushing past.
He reached out and caught it. Looking down, what flew quietly into the heart of his palm was a small piece of vibrantly red flower petal.
He looked up once more, his breath hitched. He couldn’t believe it.
The bloody rain that enveloped the sky had transformed into a fluttering shower of flower petals!
There was no need to even guess who had come. Xie Lian curled his fingers and clenched his hand, clutching that flower petal as the name blurted from his lips, “San Lang!”
He turned around and saw Ling Wen had soundlessly fallen to the ground, and that softly laughing, raven black hair, crimson robed, tall and slender young man who stood there solitarily could be none other than Hua Cheng.
Blossoms fell like dripping blood; blood danced like petals in the wind. That face was as spirited and handsome as the first time they met, his eyes bright and alive. He languidly sheathed that long and slender silver scimitar back into its scabbard, and spoke with a deep voice, “Your Highness, I’ve come back.”
———
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