Ch.140: Sharp Tongues and Pointed Teeth; Winds Swallowed and Arrows Shredded
Xie Lian heaved a sigh and turned around, “Sigh, I wanted to talk to someone, but now that the spiritual communication array of the Upper Court is in shambles and I don’t know any other heavenly official’s verbal password, I can’t say anything even if I wanted to. Fu Yao, do you remember any heavenly official’s verbal password? Just so I can send some news back and let them know I’m here, and request for some assistance.”
He looked at ease and natural, extremely persuasive, and the gloomy clouds on Fu Yao’s face dispersed. He placated, “Don’t know. The entire heavens is a mess right now, everyone’s busy. Take care of things yourself.”
Just then, Hua Cheng spoke up from the side, “Gege, this child has been starving for two days, and he’s burning up.”
Xie Lian walked over to check, and sure enough, Guzi’s forehead was so hot an egg could be fried. Instantly he pulled Qi Rong up and demanded, “How on earth do you take care of kids?”
Qi Rong spat with his face covered in blood, “It’s not like this ancestor’s his real dad! It’s already incredibly compassionate of me not to have eaten him! Mark me down for merits, quick!”
“I think it’s more like he wouldn’t taste good feverish that you hadn’t eaten him.” Xie Lian commented.
On the side, Lan Chang hesitated for a moment before speaking up, “Is that child sick? How about I take a look?”
She was also covered in cuts and bruises from the collapsed beams of that dilapidated cottage, but she felt sorry for the child and crawled over, cradled Guzi in her arms and placed her palm over his head, seeming to be using her chilling body to cool Guzi’s fever. Fu Yao walked over with the fetus spirit wrapped in a ball by a talisman in his hand, “Time to go.”
Lan Chang obviously didn’t want to leave, but her son was in his hands so she was helpless. Xie Lian spoke up, “Wait, don’t leave yet. Fu Yao, are you able to communicate with your general right now?”
Fu Yao looked at him, “What do you want?”
Xie Lian chewed on his words, “Actually…”
Before he fully said the word, his hand suddenly stretched out and fast like lightning, he instantly twisted Fu Yao’s arms behind and restrained in a deadly grip before he continued, “Actually, I already knew he’s in trouble!”
Fu Yao was careless and allowed himself to be caught, and he was both shocked and furious, “YOU! YOU SLY–!”
“No, no. This is all by my own strength alone. You can try ambushing me the same way and see if you can hold me down.”
Hua Cheng politely clapped, “I agree.”
Fu Yao was going to roll his eyes from anger, “THEN WHY DON’T YOU LET ME GO SO I CAN TRY, HUH??”
Xie Lian straightened his expression, “Next time, if there’s a chance. Right now we’ve got more important things to worry about. Fu Yao, will you help me advise your general to return to the Upper Court?”
“…Return?”
Fu Yao’s anger was forcefully suppressed into a low voice, “That’s easy for you to say! If the one stuck in the situation was you, would you go back? What would you say if others urge you to return? Go back to be wronged and wait for a conviction? Go back to wait for death?!”
“Don’t get riled up, I’m being serious.” Xie Lian said, “I’m not being sarcastic. Your general and I are different, his situation isn’t so hopeless to the point of no return; the real bad was him running away. If you can connect with him, tell him I can help him investigate.”
Fu Yao was stunned, “You. Help him investigate?”
“Yea. I’ve done a lot of investigations, so I’m somewhat experienced. More experienced than him anyway.” Xie Lian said.
“Your Highness, need I remind you that after you returned to the heavens, how many heavenly officials have you investigated?” Fu Yao said, “And how many of those heavenly officials have fallen after you’ve investigated?”
Xie Lian cleared his throat softly, “That’s different. The problem doesn’t lie with me. If he really didn’t commit any crimes, then of course I can prove his innocence.”
Fu Yao puffed a laugh from exasperation and cut him off, “That’s enough! It’s not like no one knows of the personal grudges between you two. Help him investigate? Would he even have the chance to flip this around then? If you want to use this chance to drag him down and laugh at him, just say so instead of acting all fake.”
Hearing this, Hua Cheng’s face grew dark. A moment later, he smiled, “Nevermind, gege. This guy doesn’t know how to recognize goodness when he sees it, so why waste your breath? Some people are simply born ungrateful, and gauges the heart of a man of integrity with their own wretched closed mindedness. He doesn’t trust you, and well, I don’t have the time to care for him anyway. Let him struggle and figure things out for himself.”
Fu Yao glanced at him and taunted, “‘Kid’?”
Hua Cheng returned his respects and also mocked, “‘Junior Official’?”
Fu Yao’s face dropped slightly. Xie Lian tightened his hold and said gently, “Well, this and that are two completely different matters, personal affairs and business shouldn’t be mixed together. It’s one thing if he and I have a personal grudge, whether if he’s committed a crime is another thing. Someone like Mu Qing, even though he’s narrow-minded, petty, sensitive and skeptical, has a bad personality, constantly guessing, doesn’t say nice things, likes to nag, always offending people and a lot of people dislike him, has no friends, can remember small, unimportant details for a long period of time…”
“…”
Xie Lian went on in one breath with a straight face, but in the end he concluded with, “…But I’ve known him since we were kids after all, he’s still got principles.”
“…”
Xie Lian continued, “He might spit in the cup of someone he doesn’t like, but he would never poison the water to harm others.”
“…”
Hua Cheng commented flatly, “Really? That’s still gross though.”
Fu Yao was popping veins, “NO! He would never spit either!”
“Laxatives then.” Xie Lian said.
Fu Yao seemed to be suppressing himself, “You… must you describe him this way? Are you speaking for him or against him?”
“Sorry, I just couldn’t think of any better examples at the moment.” Xie Lian apologized.
Fu Yao struggled a bit but couldn’t loosen the hold and demanded in alarm, “Were you snitching to someone in the heavens earlier?”
Xie Lian replied heavily, “Not yet. I was just chatting. Don’t worry, I won’t harm your general. If he really doesn’t want to go back, then why not join me and we can act together? That way, there’s a witness for anything he’d do, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to clear himself and things would get worse…”
Just then, there was suddenly a roar of crude laughter from behind them. Qi Rong was staring at Lan Chang’s face and suddenly went mad, “HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA I WONDERED WHO THIS WAS! ISN’T THIS, ISN’T THIS MY LADY JIAN LAN?”
Lan Chang was holding Guzi in her arms at first, cooling his temperature, but hearing him, she shuddered and her eyes widened, “Who are you? How come you also…”
Qi Rong snickered, “How do I know? PLEASE! You almost had to call me little cousin!
What, so everyone’s turned into a ghost? Fucking around here and there and it’s all familiar faces, this world really is small and lively, hehe!”
Xie Lian frowned, “Qi Rong, have you gone mad again? Who’s Jian Lan?”
“Heh, cousin crown prince, are you blind or are you playing stupid?” Qi Rong taunted,“Look closely at who this is, it’s the number one maiden of our Xian Le – the Lady Jian Lan! Her family’s all politicians and merchants, indescribably grand and glorious. Her looks are so-so, but her name will be on the charts every time there’s a Xianle beauty appraisal. So proud her eyes are grown on top of her head; she saw and cared for no one. She almost entered the harem and was almost elected as a concubine!”
“What?”
Xie Lian’s eyes flew to Lan Chang’s face unconsciously. Back then, the king and the queen did indeed have the intention of electing a concubine for him and summoned a number of exquisitely selected girls to enter the palace for a banquet just to let him see if there was anyone who he might fancy. However, young Xie Lian had his whole heart focused on cultivation, and left the banquet after making only one round, never even bothering to remember the faces and names of those girls, so he could recall nothing.
Lan Chang glanced at Fu Yao but Fu Yao only humphed, “My general said nothing of this. This woman is also a remnant citizen of Xianle, so she must’ve seen you before in the past.”
Xie Lian turned to Hua Cheng, and he didn’t look surprised either, so it didn’t seem like it was something he only just found out. Xie Lian turned to Lan Chang and mumbled, “Were you really…”
However, Lan Chang hurriedly covered her ears and cried, “Don’t say it! Don’t say it out loud! DON’T USE THAT NAME TO ADDRESS ME!!! I’ve… long since changed names.”
Xie Lian was taken aback at first, but dropped his arm and sighed heavily.
The daughter from a noble family of bygone years was now a prostitute in the ghost realm. She changed her name probably because she was afraid to bring shame to her dead family and wouldn’t admit that the her now was herself.
This woman was once his devotee, his citizen, so how could he not sigh.
Just then, he suddenly felt warmth on his hand, and when he looked down, it was Hua Cheng who wasn’t looking at him, but held his hand.
Although he was currently in the form of a small child and his body temperature was cool, but when this small, cool hand held his, it was infinitely warm.
Qi Rong however, didn’t have any sympathies at all, and clicked his tongue, “Who would’ve thought the lady Jian Lan who was so out of reach in the past would turn into such an old and ugly hag now! I never thought you looked that beautiful, and now, my eyes are certainly sharp, you really don’t look that great! I might as well ask, who’s the dad of this mutt you gave birth to?”
His words were extremely classless, and Jian Lan’s face was growing pale. Qi Rong continued, “It can’t be cousin crown prince? No no, that cousin of mine probably can’t even get it up, that’s why he spends all this time pretending he’s all chaste with no mind for women, what a faker. How can he have a son? Oh-OH! How could I forget? After Xian Le fell wasn’t my lady sold to that kind of place? It must be the seed of some Yong’an pleb!”
Xie Lian couldn’t stand this anymore and was about to go make him shut up but Jian Lan exploded faster than he did, and slapped Qi Rong soundly, “WHAT’S ALL THAT GARBAGE YOU’RE SPEWING?!”
Qi Rong’s nose bled from that slap and he glared, “YOU’RE NOTHING MORE THAN A FIERCE OR A SEVERE, A NOBODY LIKE YOU DARE HIT ME WHO’S ALMOST A SUPREME?!”
Jian Lan spat on his face, then choking his neck, she slapped him twice again, “WHAT SHITTY SUPREME! YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO BLOW YOURSELF UP! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, THINK YOU’RE EVEN WORTH TO BE THOUGHT OF AS EQUALS WITH THE OTHER THREE SUPREMES? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GOOD AT? YOUR THICK SKIN? OF COURSE I DARE HIT YOU!”
Her words stabbed Qi Rong where it hurt, and Qi Rong became frustrated too, yelling with his spit flying everywhere, “FOUL SLUT LET GO OF YOUR CHICKEN CLAWS! THIS ANCESTOR THINKS YOU’RE DIRTY! UGH UGH UGH!!!”
The two twisted into a fight, however, it was Jian Lan who was pounding Qi Rong single sidedly; Qi Rong was bound by Ruoye and couldn’t move a muscle, and he howled, “XIE LIAN! HOW COME YOU WON’T STOP THIS FIGHT THIS TIME?? WHERE’S YOUR SAINTLY HEART??”
Xie Lian had Fu Yao caught in one hand, and had his head lowered talking to Hua Cheng, looking like he hadn’t heard Qi Rong’s shrieks. Jian Lan kicked at Qi Rong, her eyes going red, and spat angrily, “Even if this ol’ mistress is wasted by plebs I don’t want a worm like you touch a single finger! A creature like you unwanted by everyone, TRASH! Think you’re good enough to call other people plebs! Who are you calling plebs??”
Qi Rong was outraged, “Unwanted? ME, TRASH?! A HUSSY WHO’S ROTTEN TO THE BONES LIKE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY THAT TO ME? Who else but plebs would appreciate looks like yours?! …WAIT!!! PUT DOWN THAT BOULDER!!!”
As they fought, a wave of rumbling roared from the skies. They all looked up at the same time, and Fu Yao demanded, “Didn’t you say you didn’t snitch and was only chatting?”
Hua Cheng frowned slightly, humphing, “Coming uninvited.”
A crackle exploded in the night sky, and everyone shut their eyes from that sudden lightning flash. When they blinked open, not far away was a tall, black clad heavenly official with a longbow carried on his back who was approaching them in long strides.
“Your Highness!”
Xie Lian dropped his sleeve and surreptitiously pushed Hua Cheng behind him, “Feng Xin! Why did you come?”
Feng Xin quickly walked up, “You suddenly stopped responding, so I made inquiries and found your whereabouts through ripples in spiritual energy.” Then he knitted his brows, “What’s going on here? What a mess. Did you run into something?”
Xie Lian was about to answer when Feng Xin noticed the Fu Yao seized in his hand and the Hua Cheng who was standing behind his person.
It was a picture completely outside his imagination, and he seemed to not know what to be more surprised at, “What…”
Finally, he pointed at Hua Cheng after all and asked, “…What’s with this child?”
Xie Lian laughed drily, “Cute, right?”
Feng Xin glared, and watched Hua Cheng’s whose expression didn’t match Xie Lian’s comment at all and asked doubtfully, “…Cute? But, why do I think he looks a lot like…”
Xie Lian replied easily, “Like my son, right?”
“??? When did you have a son?” Feng Xin was shocked.
Xie Lian smiled, “I haven’t yet. I’m just saying, that if I do have a son, he must be just as cute, right?”
Hua Cheng held his hand and smiled, “Right.”
Feng Xin: “…”
Fu Yao: “…”
“Hahahaha… eh? My lady Lan Chang, don’t run away!” Xie Lian called.
Feng Xin turned around and saw a woman’s shadow jump away from Qi Rong’s side, running away wildly, and without a moment of hesitation, he aimed his arrow and locked on to her legs.
Yet unexpectedly, perhaps it sensed its mother was in danger, the fetus spirit that was tied into a ball by a yellow talisman in Fu Yao’s hand suddenly started quivering, then it blew up the talisman and shrieked as it lunged at Feng Xin. Jian Lan seemed to have run away with her head cut off from panic, and only when she heard its voice did she remember her son was still in the hands of another. She turned around and cried, “CUOCUO*!”
This was the first time Xie Lian learned of that fetus spirit’s name. So it was called Cuocuo. Feng Xin’s arrow changed course, and shot towards that snow white fetus spirit. However, there was only a crunching sound, and that fetus spirit flipped a couple times in the air, hopped on to a nearby tree. It had bitten between its teeth that arrow, and everyone had the chance to see its appearance clearly.
Rather than say it was a fetus, it was more like a deformed little monster. Its skin was blanched white like it was brushed with a layer of powder; its eyes were abnormally big, shining a peculiar light, and on top of its head were a few yellowing strands. Two rows of razor-sharp fangs gnawed at Feng Xin’s arrow, biting it clean into two, then spat out that shimmering arrowhead, nailing it next to Feng Xin’s boots. Then a long, dark red tongue like that of a snake slithered out of its mouth like it was making provocations.
Without another word, Feng Xin reached for another arrow and locked on to it. That fetus spirit was crawling up and down the tree like a lizard, exceedingly agile, no wonder Fu Yao couldn’t catch it so easily. Jian Lan cried anxiously, “Don’t fight him, RUN!!!”
Only blood parents could care for such disgusting monsters. Feng Xin locked on, loosened the bowstring and the arrow flew. The little leg of that fetus spirit was nailed through, and it shrieked, unable to crawl any longer. Jian Lan dashed back, reaching out to pull that arrow out, but because her class was too low, when she touched the fletchings she was rebounded back and there was even sparks from the blow. She backed away a couple steps but kept going back to pluck relentlessly, erupting splashes of sparks.
Feng Xin put away his bow and approached, “Alright, time to go back. Don’t add anymore to our work pile… JIAN LAN?!”
Jian Lan, who was rebounded again, shuddered when she heard his voice and stopped moving, quickly turning away. However, Feng Xing pulled her back and asked again, “Jian Lan?”
“…” Xie Lian could sense trouble and asked, puzzled, “What’s going on?”
Jian Lan mumbled vaguely with her head down, “You’ve got the wrong person.”
“What are you talking about? How can I mistake you for anyone else?” Feng Xin exclaimed, “You look very different now, but I would still not…”
But words got stuck in his throat, because before when Jian Lan was Lan Chang and covered herself in heavy makeup, looking like a wench, he really didn’t recognize her.
It couldn’t be helped. Feng Xin still looked exactly the same as he did once upon a time, but Jian Lan’s transformation truly was too great.
Looks, makeup, manners, speech, class… even if her blood parents were to stand before her they might not recognize their precious daughter.
Feng Xin was astonished, “…It’s you. It really is you. It has to be you! …I thought you married, and was living well. How did you… how did you become this way…”
Listening to this point, Jian Lan suddenly turned around and shoved him, cussing, “YOU MOTHER FUCKER!”
Feng Xin backed away a few steps from her shove, unable to speak. Jian Lan continued to shove him, pushing his chest back forcefully while she screamed, “I ALREADY SAID I’M NOT THAT HAG, DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND HUMAN WORDS? ARE YOU DUMB IN THE HEAD?! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT “YOU, IT’S YOU, IT’S REALLY YOU”?! CAN YOU NOT PRETEND TO NOT KNOW ME? CAN YOU NOT PRETEND TO NOT RECOGNIZE ME?! OLD MASTER, PLEASE I BEG YOU, LEAVE ME SOME FACE, YEA? ALRIGHT??”
Acting like this, she was no different than a shrew on the streets, and this was probably too different than the Jian Lan in Feng Xin’s memories, so he only looked at her dumbly, unable to speak. Xie Lian was the same. Qi Rong was the one delighted, rolling on the ground laughing, “HAHAHAHHAHA OH MY FUCKING GOD! COUSIN CROWN PRINCE! DO YOU SEE WHAT’S HAPPENING? YOU GOT CUCKED BY YOUR MOST LOYAL DOG!!!”
Jian Lan violently stomped on Qi Rong a few times, “DOG! A DOG! YOU’RE THE MOST LIKE A DOG!”
Strictly speaking, Jian Lan was once selected with the heavy hope of her family on her shoulders but she had never formally entered the harem, and was thus never elected as a concubine, so Qi Rong’s delight made no sense. However, Xie Lian really didn’t know what to say anymore.
He had never imagined that Feng Xin, who would never speak to a woman if he could help it, would actually…
Just then, that fetus spirit shredded the arrow nailing it down with a crunch, and lunged at Feng Xin once more. In a moment of carelessness, Feng Xin allowed his arm to be deeply chomped down and blood immediately seeped out, pouring nonstop.
The right arm was the arm Feng Xin used habitually. To a martial god, a habitually used arm getting injured was nothing, and Feng Xin raised his left hand ready to strike when Jian Lan cried, “DON’T HIT IT!”
Feng Xin’s hand abruptly stopped in mid air, and suddenly a terrifying thought was born.
It wasn’t just him; everyone present all came to think the same thing. Feng Xin allowed that fetus spirit to gnaw at his arm like a piranha as he looked to Jian Lan, “… Is… this…?”
————
●‘C’ sound in Chinese is pronounced ‘Tss’, so “Cuocuo” sounds like “Ts-woh ts-woh”. “Cuo” means “wrong” or “a mistake”. Doubling a word in a name usually makes it cute or kiddish.
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