Ch.138: Upon Barren Hills; Rioting the Black Hearted Inn 2
He would’ve never imagined that the attendant would actually keep their word and didn’t give them away. It was someone else they spoke of.
It seemed, other than the two of them, there was another ‘very bizarre woman’ with a small child that had come to this inn to lodge for the night.
Heaven’s Eye and his group eyed each other and made hand gestures almost uniformly around, ready to kick the door open. Suddenly, the light inside the room was extinguished and the silhouette disappeared. Following right after was “thud, thud, thud” a series of fast and hurried footsteps and a woman yanked the door open, cussing, “WHAT ARE Y’ALL STINKIN’ MEN DOING GATHERED OUTSIDE MY DOOR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT? YER GRAND MAMA WANTS TO TAKE A BATH, WHAT ARE Y’ALL PLANNING? HUH?!”
This woman was slender and sensuous in figure, her unpainted face heavenly; although she had the air of a fighting cock, she was nonetheless wholly a woman. She clicked her tongue, rolled up her sleeves and continued cussing, “AND IT’S A BUNCH OF MONKS AND CULTIVATORS TOO. AREN’T Y’ALL RELIGIOUS PRIESTS? WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL YER CHASTITY VOWS?!”
Some of the monks mumbled, “It’s a misunderstanding, it’s a misunderstanding…”
That woman raised her brows impossibly high, raising her hands as if ready to strike, “I DON’T CARE IF IT’S A MISUNDERSTANDING OR A MEETING, LEAVE NOW OR THIS GRAND MAMA WILL GRANT Y’ALL A NICE TUB OF BATH WATER!”
“OI OI OI, LADY DONOR, HOW CAN YOU BE LIKE THIS? WATCH YOUR VIRTUES!”
“Let’s get outta here…”
Although Xie Lian didn’t recognize that woman’s face, he still felt her voice and her aura were extremely familiar. A moment later, he exclaimed in a whisper, “Lan Chang?”
“That’s right. It’s her.” Hua Cheng responded.
Seeing the crowd disperse, Lan Chang seemed to let out a sigh of relief, glanced around and hurriedly went back to her room, shutting the door. She wasn’t covered in heavy makeup, showing the world a plain face, and while there were quite a number of wrinkles around her eyes, her age apparent, she was unexpectedly somewhat elegant, and Xie Lian almost didn’t recognize her. If she had presented herself like this that day at the Great Martial Hall, Pei Ming’s claim to innocence might not be as convincing.
Before when Mount Tong’lu reopened and the ghosts were aroused for the first time, there were a significant number of monsters and demons that escaped their seal from all around, and Lan Chang and the fetus spirit were among them. If the ‘very bizarre woman’ the attendant meant was Lan Chang, then didn’t that mean the child she had with her was…
Xie Lian whispered to Hua Cheng, “The fetus spirit must be with her. That creature is too dangerous, we can’t let them run loose like this.”
However, the inn they were in was already a shady one, and there was that band of mortal masters in pursuit of Hua Cheng. It wasn’t going to be easy for them to capture them under these circumstances.
That crowd of monks and cultivators made it to the staircase, and the attendant asked, “So? Was it not the person My Lords are searching for?”
“It’s not!” Heaven’s Eye replied, “Sigh! Let me ask you then, have you seen a cultivator with a small child?”
The attendant gave it a thought and said, “There isn’t a child, but there is a cultivator who’s by his lonesome.”
Hearing this, the mob were spirited once more, and they asked in a low voice, “Where is he?”
That attendant replied in a low voice too, “Over here.”
This time, he was pointing a different room. The crowd eyed each other again, and once again skulked over with his lead.
Yet unexpectedly, this time, when they were still but three feet away from the door, there was suddenly a sharp sound that broke through the air, and a yellow talisman shot out from the cracks of the door, brushing past Heaven’s Eye’s cheek and nailed to the wall behind him. Stunned, the crowd all went to take a look at that talismans, and found it was half embedded into the wall like a steel plate.
Several of them were about to charge into the room but Heaven’s Eye stopped them, “It’s not him! But it’s still someone impressive, don’t anyone be rash and start things.”
Then he courted his hand in greeting and called, “Sorry to have disturbed you, skilled master. This is but a misunderstanding.”
The one inside the room didn’t respond, truly the style of a skilled master. The crowd backed away and someone asked, “Dao-xiong, why did you say it’s not him inside the room? Wasn’t the hands of that rubbish cultivator who hurled hidden weapons just as forceful?”
Rubbish cultivator… Xie Lian had to really think about it before it dawned on him that the ‘hidden weapon’ was his Incorruptible Chastity Pellets. ‘Well, alright…’
Heaven’s Eye replied in a low voice, “Of course it’s not him. They both hurled hidden weapons, but the hands and strength of the one inside the room was slightly weaker than that rubbish cultivator…”
He hadn’t finished his words before another seven or eight yellow talismans came shooting from behind them, nailing onto the doors and walls like arrows. The crowd was terrified and fled downstairs without another word. Seeing everyone had gone, Xie Lian stealthily opened the door, pulled out a yellow talisman from the wall, and returned to the room. Hua Cheng used two fingers to ignite that yellow talisman, and with just a glance, he lightly tossed it away. “Heaven’s Eye’s eye really isn’t too bad.”
On the surface of that yellow talisman was a layer of spiritual aura, which was why it was as sharp as knives, strong as steel when it shot out, and deeply cut into the wall.
Earlier however, Xie Lian hurled those meatballs with so much might that they shot like iron pellets, and it was all released through his own control of strength without any added spiritual powers. After all, he had spent centuries without spiritual might, and had long gotten used to depending on himself for doing anything instead of depending on spiritual powers. Heaven’s Eye had used this to determine the difference in strength.
Xie Lian couldn’t help but wonder, ‘Just how many different kinds of people are gathered in this inn? Why is there even a cultivator lodging here? Could he also be here for defeating evil? It’s normal if those mundane monks and cultivators noticed nothing, but with this individual’s skill level, how can he not sense anything weird about this inn?
Either way, now I absolutely cannot let those monks and cultivators discover San Lang is here. If they start talking and that individual in the room overhears, that might add one more to the chase. This one might not be as easy to deal with as the group of them.’
The mob went back downstairs and returned to the lobby, sitting back down at that long table. Xie Lian peeked through that hole Hua Cheng created and that attendant said, “I’ll go have the kitchens prepare your orders again right away, pray My Lords please wait a bit longer, hehehe.”
“WAIT! Take the waters away too. Wash your cups properly before serving them.”
“Of course, of course. Hehehe.”
That attendant left with a face full of smiles, and was probably headed for the kitchens.
Xie Lian seemed to recall that the kitchen was located behind the inn, so he picked up Hua Cheng, flipped out of the window to land outside the inn. He circled to the back and picked up a few small pebbles, clutching them in his hand in case he’d need to use them later.
He skulked to the wall outside the kitchen. Hua Cheng poked again, and a small hole appeared on the wall, as if the wall was made of tofu. Xie Lian pressed close to see just what kind of owner this shady establishment had.
The light from the kitchen was dim, only a few dying lamps were lit, and no one could be seen. But listening carefully, there were crunching sounds coming from some place.
Xie Lian changed a couple angles and finally discovered that the sound was coming from below the stove. His vision was blocked by the stove itself, but next to the stove counter was a human leg. Obviously the man was already dead, but it was still twitching along with the sound of munching and savouring.
Just then, several of the attendants entered the kitchen, “My king…”
Behind the stovetops, a disheveled, grimy man suddenly raised his head, his mouth chewing, and he replied blearily, “WHAT?!”
That man’s lips were covered with fresh blood, his eyes emitting a green glow, and in his mouth dangled the hand of a human like it was chicken feet. As much as that expression and figure were horrifying, but it could still be easily seen – it was the man Qi Rong possessed!
With stuffed cheeks, he sucked in the fingers of that hand not yet fully eaten, and a moment later, he spat out a few bones, hitting squarely on the faces of those attendants. He cussed, “You useless trash born from a pile of shit! Crying like you’re mourning, and here I thought you’re bringing this ancestor food. Well? Where’s the humans? Where’s the meat? DIDN’T I GIVE YOU THE POISON ALREADY, WHY ARE THEY STILL STANDING?”
It seemed, the one lying on the ground and was currently being munched on was either the original owner of this establishment or some other traveler who passed by.
Those attendants were aggrieved, “My king, it’s not that we’re useless, but that mob of monks and cultivators kept pushing and making everything difficult. First they scorned the plates for being too greasy, then they scorned hairs in the dishes. They refuse to eat anything we’re serving.’
Qi Rong chewed and crunched, then sucked on the blood of those ten fingers, “WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK?! THIS ANCESTOR WILL PERSONALLY COOK THEM AN EXECUTION MEAL. They should already be crying tears of joy for not making them kneel and lick off the ground, WHO the FUCK gave them the right to scorn? They should try eating what cousin crown prince makes, THAT SHIT’S WORSE THAN SHIT, THOSE FUCKERS SHOULD KNOW TO KNEEL BEFORE THIS ANCESTOR IN GRATEFULNESS!”
Xie Lian: “…”
“…Gege, don’t pay any mind to what a useless trash says,” Hua Cheng comforted.
“…Yea.”
“IT’S ALL CUZ YOU’RE ALL USELESS TRASH, CAN’T EVEN WASH A PLATE CLEAN!”
Qi Rong jumped to his feet and cussed as he beat up those attendants. His anger satisfied, Qi Rong rolled up his sleeves, cleaned his blood-covered lips with a wipe of his hand, and took up the spatula, clinking and clanking the iron wok, cursing as he ordered, “GET OVER HERE!!! Open your shitty eyes, I’ll let you witness the skills of this ancestor! See if you all have anything shitty to say after!”
Flames roared to the skies, and soon after, he indeed remade another set of dishes, and he ordered those attendants to serve them.
What a set indeed; the meat was abundant, the vegetables fresh, aromatic and alluring.
Xie Lian returned to the guestroom on the second level and peeked down below, and those monks and cultivators were all in awe, “This looks good!”
“Yea! This is so well done, especially this salt and pepper chicken feet, fat and tender… isn’t it a little too fat and tender? I’ve never seen chicken feet this long?”
The attendants explained, “Oh! This is our house specialty, it’s not your typical chicken feet, but a rare, white phoenix chicken feet especially selected with claws removed. Don’t they look soft and delicate like a girl, seductive and tempting?”
“You’re right. But I fancy this fried pig’s skin best; the pig skin is lightly crispy and tender, the fire controlled just right… wait, why does this pork have tattoos?”
The attendants explained, “Oh! It’s because our chef wanted to demonstrate his godly carving skills, so this was intentionally etched to show off a little trick, that’s all.”
“This sweet and sour ribs doesn’t seem cooked through and the sauce is too thick, you’re not trying to cover up anything funny with all the sweet and sour flavour, are you?”
The attendants explained, “Oh! Nothing of the sort. Everything in this establishment is butchered and sold on the day of, it’s just our chef has a stronger taste, that’s all.”
“…”
Seeing how they were praising the dishes endlessly and were about to dig in, Xie Lian really couldn’t hold back anymore and threw a small pebble he picked up earlier, flinging it out of that small hole.
This shot hit the hand Heaven’s Eye was using to raise the tea cup he was going to drink from to “detox”, and his arm shuddered, spilling the water from the cup. This spill splashed squarely on the face of one of the attendants who kept smiling.
That water wasn’t hot, but it was like boiling water had spilled on that attendant, and it covered its face wailing, “AAHHH!!!”
Now everyone at the table was bewildered, and they all raised their weapons, “WHAT’S GOING ON?!”
Heaven’s Eye seized the hand of that attendant and yanked it aside. The crowd “AH”-ed. The facial features of that attendant were half melted, as if water had spilled on a blank sheet of paper and the ink smudged. Blurry and hazy, trails of ink spread along the cheeks and rolled down.
His features and smiles were drawn with a brush!
“…”
Without missing a beat, the mob flipped the table, and instantly started a brawl with the attendants.
Those attendants were hugging their heads as they were beaten, howling, “MY LORDS!!! PLEASE STOP! UM, THAT UM, THAT VERY BIZARRE WOMAN WITH A SMALL CHILD YOU’RE ALL LOOKING FOR!!! THAT STRANGE CULTIVATOR! HE’S UPSTAIRS! THEY’RE UPSTAIRS! GO FIND THEM! LET US GO! WE’RE ONLY PART-TIMERS!!!”
“P’TUI! PART-TIMERS? WHO’RE YOU KIDDING?”
“TRYIN’ TO DECEIVE US? THINK WE’RE THAT EASY? IT’S TOO LATE NOW!”
The attendants were aggrieved, “We’re not lying! It’s true!”
The brawl downstairs was growing wild, and seeing those masters had the overwhelming upper hand, Xie Lian shook his head. He stopped caring and was about to capture Lan Chang and the fetus spirit amidst this chaos instead when unexpectedly, before the door was even opened, a shriek came from the corridor. The terrified voice of Lan Chang rang, “No… I beg you, I don’t want to go! Please, I beg you, let us go! I’ll kneel and kowtow!”
The angry voice of a young man said, “Who cares about your prostrating? If you leave, then what should I… my general do? Fuck, you pair of mother and child really did him in this time! Enough useless talk, you’re coming with me!”
Hearing that voice, Xie Lian whipped the door open, “It’s you?!”
In the long corridor, a black clad youth was standing there blocking in front of Lan Chang, his expression dark. The moment Xie Lian emerged, he looked up slightly and was flabbergasted, “It’s you?!”
Xie Lian came out the door, “Fu Yao? Why are you here?”
Lan Chang saw him and widened her eyes, “…The crown prince?”
“…” Fu Yao looked him up and down for a moment, his lips twitching, but at least his eyes didn’t roll. He asked back, “Why are you here too?”
Xie Lian looked down at himself and hurriedly stripped off the woman’s robe and replied, “It’s a long story.”
Just then, Fu Yao noticed Hua Cheng standing by his side, and his pupils shrank.
——–
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