Prologue: Go Away
I can’t deny it any longer. I know already. I’m hopelessly in love with Haibara Natsuki.
By the time I’d realized it, it was too late; I’d already encouraged Natsuki. As someone helping him with his crush, I wanted him to succeed. However, I’d also be lying if I claimed I’d never wished for him to fail.
I’d dreamed about it.
Hikari-chan would reject Natsuki, and, brokenhearted, he’d come back to me downcast. Seeing him grumble, I’d say, “You’re so hopeless,” and console him. I would go on to say, “I’ll take responsibility,” and the surprise on his face would make me giggle. We’d keep it a secret from the others and start dating, and Natsuki wouldn’t seem all that unhappy either—it was so stupid.
That future would never come true, but part of me still hoped it would. In the end, Natsuki’s confession to Hikari had succeeded, and now he blithely enjoyed each day. I should’ve been happy for him. I should’ve celebrated with him; instead, the pain felt like it would snap my heart in two, and I’d burst into tears. So I continued turning a blind eye to my own foolishness.
Anyone would do. I just wanted them to change my feelings. That’s why Reita-kun had become my solace. I thought that if I fell for him, I wouldn’t suffer anymore. With that pessimistic attitude, I’d begun spending more time with Reita-kun. He was sharp, so surely he knew what was going through my mind. Even so, he accepted me with open arms.
We ate lunch together, walked home together after practice, and hung out on our days off. Reita-kun was an extremely kind person. He was handsome, smart, athletic, considerate, fun to talk to, and he had a cute smile. I felt comfortable around him.
Dating Reita-kun also meant becoming the target of others’ envy. However, my feelings didn’t change. My eyes would still unwittingly follow my childhood friend.
I shouldn’t see Natsuki for a while to get rid of these feelings. That’s what I’d thought, but because I was on the interclass sports meet committee, I’d been forced to interact with him. I can talk to him now! When the thought ran through my head, I was over the moon, and deep down, my heart secretly soared. I felt guilty towards Hikari-chan, but I kept telling myself there was no helping it since we were both committee members, and so, I returned to Natsuki’s side once again. For me, it was an irresistible temptation.
To top it all off, I’d lied by claiming my legs were numb and hugged Natsuki. All the while, I knew that I was betraying Hikari-chan and Reita-kun... It was truly time to stop associating with Natsuki. My affections for him were running wild, and I didn’t know what I was doing anymore.
I’m such a sneaky bitch. I’m the worst. I can’t face everyone this way.
So I swore not to do anything like that again. Things were still salvageable right now. All I needed was to suppress those feelings. Just doing that would solve everything, but once I’d finally decided that...
“Someone saw you hug Haibara-kun. Is that true?”
I couldn’t defend myself—I was completely in the wrong.
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