Grimgal of Ashes and Illusion - Volume 12 - Chapter 2

2. The Flames Waver with Hesitation

This area now called the frontier had once been made up of human kingdoms with names like Arabakia, Nananka, and Ishmal.

The elves, dwarves, and gnomes had prospered as a result of fostering cordial relations with the human race, but the orcs, kobolds, goblins and others were still driven out, persecuted, alienated, and thoroughly despised.

For the orcs, in particular, it wasn’t just their bodies and physical abilities. Their intellect was in no way inferior to that of the humans, either. However, humans had built nations before the orcs, and spread out across the fertile land.

Even when the orcs, driven by humans into inferior lands like the Nehi Desert, the Plateau of Falling Ash, and the Plains of Mold, had united into tribes based on blood relations, it was all they could do to survive.

Around a hundred and fifty years ago, one calling himself the No-Life King had appeared, changing everything.

Giving birth to the undead and expanding his power in short order had placed pressure on the human kingdoms. In addition, he had encouraged unity between the various orcish tribes, and set up a king for them.

Before that, the humans had seen the orcs as no more than a savage race, more akin to beasts, and had looked down on them. However, once the orcs gained a king, they established the systems of a state rapidly, and, arming themselves, they began to invade the human realms.

Forming a pact with the orcs, kobolds, goblins, and the gray elves who’d broken away from the other elves, the No-Life King established the Alliance of Kings, and boldly declared war against the kingdoms of the human race.

The human kingdoms of Ishmal and Nananka were destroyed, and the Kingdom of Arabakia fled to the south of the Tenryu Mountains.

Elves, dwarves, and gnomes were also caught in the bloody chaos of war. The elves relied on the natural barrier presented by the Shadow Forest, primarily fighting in self-defense, but the dwarves swung their swords and axes with a daring and resolution greater than that of any human, putting up a fierce battle.

The famed dwarven Steel Ax Corps faced an overwhelmingly larger force from the Alliance of Kings at the Bordo Plains, never retreating as they put up a hard fight, but they were wiped out.

The elves of the Shadow Forest were supposed to send reinforcements to help the Steel Ax Corps, but they were blocked by a detached force from the Alliance of Kings, and were unable to fulfill their promise.

All of that aside, in the midst of the intense fighting, the dwarves dug shelters here and there, storing weapons, armor, supplies, and rations in them.

These shelters, called dwarf holes, offered a place for the defeated dwarven soldiers to flee to, as well as bases to launch a counteroffensive from.

During their journey east towards the sea, Haruhiro and the others had, coincidentally, found one such dwarf hole.

Haruhiro and the others had been able to gain a number of the treasures the dwarves had tucked away there over a hundred years ago, but now had fallen for a dwarven trap.

It wasn’t easy to survive those.

“I’m seriously sorry about this.” Kuzaku was performing a kowtow.

Haruhiro fed a branch into the fire, thinking, With a kowtow like that, you’ve got a long way to go before you’re up to the level of the legendary kowtow master. Maybe it’s better if you never do get to that level. I wonder if that legendary kowtow master is still alive and well someplace. Well, dead or alive, it’s none of my concern. Anyway, this fire’s kind of nice. Though we’re at a pretty high altitude, it’s summer, so it’s not cold at all. But a fire is still nice. It’s relaxing.

“Well, yeah...” Yume climbed a nearby tree, dangling her legs from a branch, and looking around the area. It looked like she was relaxing and taking it easy, but she was actually proactively taking it upon herself to be a lookout. “Fortunately, nothing much ended up gettin’ lost. No one was hurt at all, either, so it went well, that’s what Yume thinks.”

“Nah...” Kuzaku raised his face a little. “That’s only something you can say in hindsight. I think I really do need to reflect on my actions. Make things proper.”

“Were you in a bit of an odd frame of mind?” Shihoru asked, nestling close to Merry by the fire.

Kuzaku hung his head again, groaning in thought. Then, after a short while, he raised his face again.

“Maybe? Like, ‘Oh, crap, it’s a dwarf hole! Maybe there are some super awesome weapons and stuff here!’ It was the first adventure-y thing we’d done in a while. I may have been excited...”

“Are you a child?” Setora spat as she checked on the pot cooking over the fire.

“...I’m a kid. ’Kay. Sorry.”

“Even though you’re bigger than any of us.”

“...Sure am. Whew. ’Kay. I’m not sure what to say.”

“For a start, paladin, what is with the way you’re talking?”

“Oh, the way I’m kind of polite? That’s what I’m aiming for, at least.”

“You’re not polite in the least. It almost feels like you’re mocking me.”

“You’re misunderstanding. ’Kay. Oops, did it again. Is this becoming a habit...?”

Kuzaku had gotten out of kowtow mode at some point, and he was now kneeling and scratching the back of his head.

What was Merry thinking as she looked into the crackling flames? She might have just been zoning out, but Haruhiro couldn’t help but imagine all sorts of things that might be running through Merry’s head.

It wasn’t good to do that. He shouldn’t just make things up; he needed to talk to her and ask. Merry was right in front of his eyes, after all. That was certainly true, but...

“Haruhiro-kun?” Shihoru called out, bringing Haruhiro back to his senses.

“Uh, sure. What is it?”

“I don’t think it’s right to ignore Kuzaku when he’s apologizing...” she complained.

Haruhiro lowered his eyes. “Erm...” He rubbed his nose. “I didn’t mean to ignore him, though...”

“I don’t mind. It happens a lot with Haruhiro.”

“Huh? I ignore people?”

“I usually decide to take it as, ‘Ohh, he’s mad. Uh oh. I’d better think about what I did.’”

“Oh, yeah? So I do that... I never realized. Sorry. Ignoring people’s not good. If no one says anything, it’s hard to notice you’re doing it, I guess. Thanks, Shihoru. I’ll be careful not to.”

“No, I should apologize,” she said. “I may have been butting in when it wasn’t my business.”

“Not at all. I’m grateful to have you tell me anything. Hold on... Kuzaku, what’re you grinning for?”

“Grinning? Was I? Well, you know how it is. I’m just glad we have you as leader.”

“You’re doing a natural job of creeping me out when you say stuff like that...”

“No way. It was creepy? Uh oh. I tend to say whatever comes into my head, y’know.”

“What a loyal dog you are,” Setora snorted, removing the pot from the fire.

The skewers lined up around the fire were nice and crisp. Setora pulled one out of the ground, sticking a piece of meat into her mouth. She chewed, then nodded.

“Let’s eat. Hey, hunter, you come down here, too. Kiichi is looking around, so it’s fine.”

Everyone gathered around the fire, eating Setora’s snail and mushroom soup along with the skewers of venison. The ingredients, including snails, venison, various herbs, and variety of mushrooms, had been gathered by Yume, Kiichi, and Setora.

When they bit into the skewers seasoned with herbs, juice poured out, and it was simple but delicious. The soup had the deer’s organs in it, too, providing a thick broth. Even so, the herbs added a slight mugwort-like taste, refreshing like mint, the aftertaste was light. It was an unexpected flavor, but the second mouthful tasted better than the first, and the third better than the second, so Haruhiro started to get the sense it might be really, really good.

“Setoran, you’re good at cookin’?” Yume, who seemed to be going for a speed-eating award, said, rubbing her belly after she finished.

“Am I?” Setora asked, not sounding especially happy. “I do think that if I’m to be forced to eat something disgusting, I’d rather eat nothing at all. For something like this, you just prepare it in a way that won’t cause food poisoning, then adjust the flavor in a way that will make it taste better.”

“I don’t think that’s as easy as you’re making it sound...” Merry muttered.

“Right?” Yume said in agreement. “Even if Yume does it thinkin’, ‘Be tasty, be tasty,’ it ends up turnin’ out kinda weird a lot of the time.”

“I don’t understand.” Setora tilted her head. “The taste of things is decided. There are no uncertain elements in how the flavor will turn out if you mix them in certain proportions, and cook or boil them. Incidentally, when you say you think, ‘Be tasty’... is that a wish? What meaning is there in doing that?”

“Um, well, if you’re thinkin’, ‘Be tasty,’ it’s probably gonna turn out better than if you’re thinkin’, ‘Be yucky.’ Even if you do all the same stuff.”

“If you truly do only the same things, no matter what you’re thinking, the result will be the same. Rather than think meaningless things, you would do better to focus on the process.”

“...Hmm. See, the thing about that, you may be right, but...”

“So, basically, Setora-san...” Kuzaku tried to help push the conversation forward. “You’ve got sense. Weren’t you just born with a superior sense of taste?”

“I simply learned,” she responded coolly. “Identifying the tastes one by one. The same with combinations of ingredients. There’s little difference in what we were born with.”

Whoops, it looks like the two of them are kind of missing each other’s point, Haruhiro couldn’t help but think. I mean, Setora was born into a family of necromancers, the House of Shuro, and she’s actually made a golem, and she’s also a master nyaa tamer. Her cooking’s good, too. Or rather, it’s not just her cooking.

“Setora, you’re pretty good with a weapon, as well...” Haruhiro pointed out.

“Have to be able to defend myself,” Setora explained as if it were nothing. “Swords, spears, bows, I can use most weapons. Nyaas are raised by onmitsu spies, so I’ve also learned some onmitsu techniques.”

“You can do everything...” Kuzaku said, gaping, but Setora raised an eyebrow as if displeased.

“I’ve not learned so much that I can proudly say I’m able to do those things. However, I’m sure I’d not lose out to the foolish samurai warriors and onmitsu spies of the village. That’s all.”

“I feel like... that’s pretty amazing itself...” Shihoru’s face was twitching.

“I guess you have a high capacity for learning,” Haruhiro said. “Yeah. Somehow, that’s the sense I get...”

For Haruhiro’s part, he was just trying to vaguely sum things up, but Setora said, “No one has ever said that of me, and I don’t think it, either,” sounding upset for some reason. “Discovering unknown techniques would be one thing, but if there are people who have done them before, you need only observe carefully, and the key points will come to you on their own. If they practice those key points, anyone can reach a certain level.”

“No, but still?” Kuzaku daringly continued to ask questions. “There’ve gotta be things you’re suited and unsuited to do, right? There have to be things where, no matter how much you practice, you never improve.”

“You need only practice until you become able to do them.”

“You picked all this stuff up with hard work like that, Setora-san?”

“That goes without saying. You only get out what you put in. That is an ironclad rule.”

“With the sword, too?”

“Naturally, there was a time when I did nothing but swing the sword, even cutting into my sleep time. If I didn’t do that much, at least, I’d never get a feel for the hilt, would I?”

“...Is that how it works?”

“Rather than trying to learn the easy way, doing it the hard way tends to be simpler.”

“Ohhh. Well, yeah. I can see that. Now that you say it, you may be right...” Kuzaku didn’t seem to be able to say anything to that, and he was halfway to crying.

Most likely, Setora was right. She hadn’t said anything too out there. In fact, it was common sense. It wasn’t that you just needed to work hard; you needed to figure out the trick, and work hard in an efficient way. That was what Setora was telling him. Haruhiro couldn’t argue with that.

But it’s the kind of thing we ordinary people can’t do, even if we wanted to. If we could do anything we set our minds to, anybody could be a superhero, right? But we’re weak, frail, or lazy, and can’t do things even if we want to. Sometimes, they’ll feel like, “Ugh, I’ve had enough. I don’t want to do anything.” I could explain to Setora that’s how people tend to be, but she’d just say, “Just do it.” Yeah. She’d be right. If you don’t do anything, nothing gets started, so the conclusion is you have to do it, right?

“Don’t misunderstand.” Setora hugged her knees and looked away. “I think what I am saying is correct. But just because it’s correct doesn’t mean people will accept it. I know that from experience. Even so, I won’t bend from my opinion. If I lie about my own feelings, I’ll cease to be myself...”

Haruhiro gulped. Yume, Shihoru, Merry, and Kuzaku were all surprised in their own ways, too.

What? What? What? What? Out of nowhere? Why? Setora, why are you crying...?

Haruhiro and Kuzaku looked at one another.

What’s going on? I don’t know. What do you think we should do? I don’t know.

That sort of silent exchange happened between them in an instant.

We’re so useless at times like this.

That was the shared conclusion the two of them came to.

“Umm, listen, Setoran...” Yume sat next to Setora, rubbing her back hard.

Yume, she’s the one to handle things at a time like this.

As he watched, a little relieved, Haruhiro tried thinking about how Setora had been through a lot, too. Of course she had. After all, in the village, Setora had been a disgrace to the House of Shuro, treated as an outcast, living on the edge of the village with her nyaas. It wasn’t as if she wouldn’t have a few memories that might bring her to tears just thinking about them.

Unlike Haruhiro and the others, Setora had a homeland. However, even if the village was her homeland, it might not be a place she ought to return to. Enba the golem had been like a friend to her, but she had lost him. Of all the nyaas she had been raising, now only Kiichi was left.

It would be great if he could say to her, It’s okay, you have us, we’re comrades, you’re not alone, but Haruhiro and Setora’s relationship was a little complicated.

No, was Haruhiro only thinking it was complicated? Maybe it might not actually be? Which was it, really?

“You love that woman, I see.”

That time, when Setora had said that to him, how had Haruhiro responded?

He remembered thinking he couldn’t lie to her. If he recalled, he hadn’t said it outright. Before he could finish telling her it was a one-sided affection, or something like that, Setora had covered Haruhiro’s mouth with her hands. As if saying, “I don’t want to hear any more. Don’t say anything.”

Haruhiro looked at Merry. Merry was still staring into the flames. She had no real expression.

Merry suddenly reached out towards the flames with her right hand.

Haruhiro was surprised and panicked. “M-Merry?”

She didn’t act surprised, just slowly stopped her hand. Then, looking at her own fingers, she grabbed her right hand with her left. Then, after that, she turned to look at Haruhiro.

“What?”

“No, what was that, just now...?” Haruhiro was at a loss for how to respond.

What’s gotten into you? You’re acting kind of weird, Merry. You’re concerned or worried about something, I’m sure. Talk to me. I’ll listen. I mean, I want to hear it. Why can’t I come out and say that?

“The dead don’t come back.”

He couldn’t get Setora’s words out of his head.

Jessie. That bizarre man had said it.

“This isn’t normal. It’s common sense that people can’t come back to life, and that’s a fact.”

Right. That was a special event that happened under special circumstances. But Jessie had also said something else. That nothing had changed dramatically inside him when he’d come back to life. That there might be a little change, but nothing dramatic.

Most likely, Merry wasn’t used to that little change yet. That was why she felt a little off, and might be confused. It was a transitional period, you could say.

He was about to say it was nothing, trying to dodge the subject, when Kiichi rushed in from the dark of night.

Setora pushed Yume away and stood up. Kiichi wrapped himself around Setora, meowing in a high-pitched voice.

“It looks like Kiichi found something,” Setora said. “It would seem we had better get away from here.”

“Kuzaku, put out the fire,” Haruhiro ordered.

“’Kay!” Kuzaku stomped out their campfire.

Everyone picked up their gear. They were ready to go in no time at all.

“I hope we can sleep at least a little before dawn comes...” Shihoru said with a sigh, but from the wry grin on her face, it was clear she was half-joking.

Even Shihoru, who was less physically fit as a mage, wasn’t so weak that this was going to get her down. They were a party of ordinary people, Setora aside, but for some reason they had led lives it would be hard to call ordinary as volunteer soldiers. Thanks to that, they’d trained up a decent amount.

Life is full of ups and downs, mountains and valleys. Uh, actually, it’s just mountains lately, I guess. Really, there’s been a lot that’s happened. Still, we’re alive, Manato, Moguzo.

That he could address his departed friends in his heart like this was just one more thing he could do because he was alive.