Fortunately, I Met You - Chapter 203

Chapter 203

Chapter 203: Are You Really A Doctor?

Qin Shiya’s face was cold . “Are you really a doctor?”

“Yes . Do you want to see my license?”

Qin Shiya didn’t know what to think anymore . She could only helplessly repeat what she said earlier . “You’re different from all the other doctors I’ve seen to date . Don’t you know that PTSD patients are easily provoked?”

Cheng Xi responded in a particularly earnest tone . “I’m sorry . I had no intention of provoking you . It was just that your longing for sleeping pills was too strong . I’m sure that if I told you that you couldn’t eat so many pills at once, you’d leave . ” She then smiled brightly before continuing on . “As for me, I just wanted to show you that you can still fall asleep even without resorting to using any pills . ”

Qin Shiya glared at her and then walked out without saying another word .

Her mother was waiting for her outside, and when she saw Qin Shiya come out, she anxiously came forward . “Shiya, are you alright?”

Qin Shiya didn’t respond, and Cheng Xi didn’t chase after her either . The next day, when Cheng Xi arrived at work, the director herself came over to discuss Qin Shiya’s case . “I thought that you would keep tricking her with those sugar pills . Why’d you end up explaining the ruse to her?”

“I was afraid that she’d truly believe that it would be okay to consume that many sleeping pills at once . What’s more, I was only checking to see if she truly needs sleeping pills to sleep, and the results show that she doesn’t need them . She simply developed a mental reliance on them, and I’m ethically obliged to inform her of that . ”

“So, in the medicine that you gave her yesterday, was there really not a single sleeping pill?”

“Not a single one . ”

Even the director was rendered speechless by Cheng Xi’s actions . “Your previous director mentioned that you employed unconventional methods when treating your patients, and I guess he was absolutely right . ”

Cheng Xi smiled . This wasn’t really that unconventional; she had just selected the method that both best suited her patient and would win her trust . Luckily, Qin Shiya did trust doctors a fair bit, as she had never suspected that Cheng Xi would give her fake pills .

Qin Shiya came back on the third day . She was clearly weary and exhausted, and the first thing she said was, “I just want to sleep . Please help me . ”

This time, her mother remained outside of her own accord, leaving only Cheng Xi and Qin Shiya in the room .

Cheng Xi asked her, “Do you trust me? If so, then please tell me the real reason why you can’t sleep . ”

This time, Cheng Xi’s tone wasn’t as polite and clean as before . Instead, it felt more like the two of them were conversing as equals, as if they were just having a friendly chat .

Qin Shiya shut her eyes, her body slightly trembling as she attuned with her inner turmoil . It took her awhile before she calmed down enough to speak . “I don’t want to be a hero . I just want him to come back . ”

Her medical records mentioned that she often told psychiatrists that she didn’t want to be a hero . Clearly, the term “hero” had become particularly stressful towards her after her incident .

Cheng Xi gently comforted her . “That’s alright . As long as you’re willing to work towards it, you can be a regular person, someone who is able to enjoy the vicissitudes of life, including all of the happiness, sorrow, anger and pain . ”

Qin Shiya didn’t respond, only slowly shaking her head, as if it was hard for her to express her true feelings .

However, she had to say it out loud . Otherwise, her situation would just get worse and worse the more she kept it bottled up . This was why listening attentively was another method of treatment . After thinking about it for a moment, Cheng Xi said, “If you find it difficult to speak up, then can you answer the questions that I ask?”

Qin Shiya arduously squeezed out, “Alright . ”

Cheng Xi started with a simple first question . “Did you have a good relationship with your husband?”

This helped Qin Shiya calm down . She easily nodded and answered, “That’s right . ”

“Did he treat you well?”

“Quite well . ”

“Can you tell me a bit more about him?”

“He was an art teacher, and very talented at drawing . After we met, he sent me drawings very often, all kinds of drawings of me in various poses . The cute me, the angry me, the serious me, and the careless me…… He even made me a number of small trinkets, like miniature clay dolls, a little make-up box, an umbrella . Whatever I wanted, he was able to procure just like a magician . ”

As Qin Shiya talked about her departed husband, her whole face filled with light . Her countenance seemed ten years younger, as if she were still that woman who had just fallen in love .

Qin Shiya happily continued talking about her husband, and when she was at her most relaxed state, she finally revealed the secret that had been buried deep in her heart . “It was I who killed him . When the earthquake struck, it was during summer vacation . We could have avoided this whole catastrophe, as he didn’t want to teach remedial classes . He wanted to go on a honeymoon as we had just gotten married . It was I who forced him to stay behind and teach the class . Even during the actual event, he still could have escaped . He was only trapped under that building because he was trying to save me . ”

“For all these past years, I can’t stop thinking of him . Whenever I close my eyes, I can hear his yells . I can see his squashed face, bruised arms, and battered and broken body . In my dreams, he always finds me and tells me that it hurt all over…… I didn’t want to be a hero, and I never wanted to save those children . I just wanted him to live . ”

“But they wanted me to lie . They made me say that I was the one who wanted to host the remedial classes, to say that I was the one who saved the children, and to give me all of the rewards for his work . My family became rich, but he’s dead . He died so, so pitifully……”

Qin Shiya couldn’t stand it anymore, and burst into inconsolable tears . Cheng Xi hugged her tightly as she gently caressed her back, not saying anything .

At this time, Qin Shiya simply needed to cry and let it all out .

After the cathartic reveal, Cheng Xi formally began the therapy session by telling Qin Shiya, “You feel overly guilty . And this guilt is magnifying what the mistakes that you think you made . In truth, if not for you, not all of those twenty four children would have survived . That’s why you’re their hero . What’s more, there’s nothing wrong with your wanting him to teach remedial classes, as your motives were good and pure . It’s important to have the money to live well, and also to help those children have a happier and more meaningful summer break……” 

At any rate, Cheng Xi’s main priority was reducing Qin Shiya’s guilt . Perhaps it was because Cheng Xi had learned about her biggest secret, or that Qin Shiya craved her validation; at any rate, she was very receptive towards Cheng Xi’s words .

When Qin Shiya left, she still looked very weary, but her expression was much more relaxed compared to before . The former gloomy and remorseful atmosphere surrounding her and mostly dissipated, as had her irritation and frustration .

Of course, if Qin Shiya wanted to recover fully, that couldn’t be accomplished in just one or two therapy sessions . She needed long-term psychological counselling and intervention before she could leave the traumatic experience of the earthquake behind her .

In the future, Cheng Xi would often bring Qin Shiya up as a case study in her classes . “People often say that time heals all wounds, but that’s not true . That wound always remains there . It’s just that, with the passage of time, out of our innate desire to protect ourselves, the wound will scab over and the pain lessen, but it’ll never vanish . The only thing that psychiatrists can do is to help reduce the patient’s pain, allow the blood to coagulate, and let the patient temporarily forget the pain . That way, when the patient closes their eyes, they’ll at least be able to look to the future . ”