Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 7 - Chapter 1.2

2

To avoid the unfolding chaos in Viper's room, I decide to kill time by wandering around Hideout City when I come upon a surprising sight.

“Miss Snow, thank you so much! You were a great help!”

“Think nothing of it. Call me if you ever need help. I’ll come as soon as I can.”

A hardhat-clad Snow dismounts an excavator at a construction site as the demons around her offer thanks.

...Why is a local like her operating construction equipment?

“Hey, what are you doing? You can’t just go driving our heavy machinery around.”

“What are you babbling about this time? I have a license to operate this thing.”

She then holds out a license.

“Why does a local like you have one of these?!”

“Alice printed it for me. If you listen to her lecture, then pass the operator’s exam, she'll issue one for you, too. This isn’t the only certification I’ve picked up, either. I’ve passed a bunch of other exams as well. After all, every new certification means a bump in salary!”

Unbelievable. Her license shows that she’s got more certifications than I do.

...That’s right—Snow is a former street urchin who worked her way into becoming a knight commander by hauling herself up by her bootstraps.

“...What are you doing back here anyway? Weren’t you hyped about reclaiming your knighthood or something?”

Yes, her recent achievements were enough to get her reinstated...

“Her Highness told me to cooperate with Kisaragi as a part-timer, because that would allow me to deepen the Kingdom's ties to Kisaragi while earning money and learning about your technology. Thanks to that, I’m in the wonderful position of earning salaries from both the kingdom and Kisaragi!”

“Hey, that’s not fair! You collect two checks?!”

So now Snow’s learning the ins and outs of Kisaragi tech... Isn’t that like spying?!

She’s essentially earning a double salary to be a double agent. Are you kidding me...?

“It’s not much different than when you were getting paid by the kingdom to be a knight while serving as a spy for Kisaragi.”

"Uh-huh...well, anyway, where’s Alice? I needed to talk to her about Tiger Man.”

“Don’t try to change the subject.”

Even as she interjects, Snow nods at my question.

“Alice is over there trying to reeducate the former leaders of the Demon Lord Army, but... It’s probably easier to just show you than try to explain. Alice is acting a bit strangely. Her usual cold logic is nowhere to be found. See if you can do something for her.”

Snow deliberately keeps her description vague and points to a building in front of her.

It’s a school building constructed for the education of demon children.

In addition to teaching the typical subjects, the school also plays up how wonderful an organization the Kisaragi Corporation is, in the hopes that they’ll be brainwashed—er, educated—to become obedient workers in the future.

The curriculum has been adjusted to match the local conditions, and it includes a smattering of reading, writing, and arithmetic; lectures on the glorious history of the Kisaragi Corporation; lessons on how to recognize and deal with the threat of local wildlife; and ways to recognize and gather the most valuable resources in the area.

I guess their class is out today. I don't see any kids around, but I do hear familiar voices echoing from one of the classrooms.

“Again, how did you arrive at that answer?! You started out so well!”

"Don’t look at me! Alice, you’re the one who’s going off on weird tangents!”

“Heine’s right! I was following along just fine until the middle part! Then you suddenly lost me!”

I follow the voices and peer into the classroom. There, I see Alice standing at the lectern, engaged in an argument with Heine and Russell.

Catching sight of me through the hallway window, Alice gestures for me to enter and join them.

"Oh, good timing. Six. A question for a veteran agent like you. Let’s say you’re ordered to take fifty agents and wipe out an enemy base. It’s expected to take you two weeks. How much are you going to prepare in terms of supplies?”

...Basic math problem?

I guess the reasoning that I can bring down the base in three days isn’t going to cut it here.

"Given there’s the possibility our advance could be slowed by bad weather and the chance that enemy resistance might be greater than expected. I'd say three weeks' worth of rations and ammo for fifty agents... Hey! Why are you patting my head?”

“It’s just nice to know that even though your brain’s usually just for show, it still works when it comes to combat operations.”

.. .Was that a compliment or an insult?

Alice continues to pat my head affectionately, then turns to Heine.

“Let’s say we gave Heine fifty orcs and ordered her to use them to take out a Hiiragi base. Let’s also assume it’ll take a week to eliminate the fortress... Well, Heine? What sorts of supplies would you prepare?”

“I’d prepare fifty acorns to give the orcs when they finish.”

“All right, starting today, you’re now officially dumber than Six.”

“Why?! There’s nothing wrong with my answer!”

Should I interrupt Alice, who’s using me as the standard of stupidity, or comment on Heine’s silly answer?

While Heine panics over Alice’s evaluation of her answer, Russell confidently steps up to bat.

“I get it, now. Listen, Heine, it’s not like you have to give them the acorns at the start of the battle. You can always give them the acorns when you get back. Which means you can go without carrying any supplies at all.”

“Okay, you’re also on the dumber-than-Six list, Russell. Go join Rose and work on some simple addition and subtraction problems.”

“Wait! I’m not like my cousin! I can do math! I mean, I was one of the Elite Four!”

Alice gives the frustrated Russell an exasperated look.

“Right, that’s exactly what I’m trying to get across to you. Kisaragi’s Combat Agents all tend to be too self-centered and selfish to make effective commanders. If you can actually lead units, you’ll spend less time at the power plant. So quit screwing around and take this seriously!”

“We are taking this seriously!”

“That’s right! You’re the one who’s being weird here, Alice! You need to explain what’s wrong with our answers!”

I thought they were some of the smarter ones, at least by Kisaragi standards.

“...Fine. First, you’re not properly calculating the necessary rations based on the unit size and mission length. Also, forget about the acorns.”

Heine crinkles her brow in thought, struggling with the premise of Alice’s question.

“Food for fifty orc soldiers? Um, how would you even calculate that? They’ll just keep eating so long as there’s anything edible on hand.”

“Why do we need to carry rations at all given that orcs can fatten up and go without food for a whole month? I mean, those supplies would just slow down the march.”

Alice freezes at Russell’s words as the two former Demon Lord Army commanders discuss the question.

“Wait, repeat what you just said. You’re saying that if they eat enough, orcs can be active for an entire month without extra food?”

“Yeah, though if they fatten up too much, they get sluggish. Wild orcs gain weight in autumn, then go hibernate in subterranean lairs during winter when food is scarce. Of course, the monsters are also starving in winter. So a fair number of orc lairs get dug up, and some hibernating orcs get eaten.”

Ah, another one of the harsh realities of living in a world infested by monsters. No wonder orcs want to live and work on human farms.

I get it now. I can see why these two are having trouble understanding what Alice was asking.

From the look on Heine and Russell’s faces, it seems they’ve also figured out what Alice’s mistake was.

“Since the Demon Lord’s lands are mostly desert, we were always facing food shortages, so whenever we went on the offensive, we lived off the land... Acorns were usually a good-enough reward.”

“How the hell am I supposed to know about your food scarcity or ecology?! I’m gonna throw acorns at you, dammit!”

As Russell shrinks from Alice’s threats, I remember something.

“Didn’t you guys have supply companies when you were leading armies for the Demon Lord? The first time I ran into Heine, it was when we were burning a supply train.”

That’s right, we were ruthlessly attacking a supply train at the time, and Heine came to stop us...

“Oh, that was grub for the goblin troops. Unlike orcs, who can store fat, or ogres, who only eat what they’ve killed themselves, goblins will eat just about anything. They’ll even start eating each other if they get too hungry.”

“Stop! If you say any more, I’ll have to start thinking of the goblin civilians in town as potential cannibals!”

Aaand there’s another piece of demon trivia that I would have been better off not knowing...like the orc farms.

“Hey, Alice. Are we done with the lectures? I mean, I commanded troops for the Demon Lord Army countless times. There shouldn’t be a problem with me doing it again... So why don’t we go and pick him up?”

Russell pretends to speak casually as he looks off into the distance.

“Who are you talking about? Hideout City is in the middle of a massive construction boom. We can’t exactly afford to divert resources to nonvital tasks since we’re short on manpower as it is.”

“You know who I'm talking about! Yeah, he’s kind of creepy, and all of his meowing and purring gets annoying, but don’t we need him? I mean, isn’t he the strongest out of all of you?”

Of course, the “he” Russell is talking about must be Tiger Man. I guess the fact that Tiger Man has forced Russell to cross-dress, used him as a body pillow, hiked up his skirt, and subjected him to all sorts of other harassment makes Russell hesitant to even use his name.

“You too, Russell? You think Tiger Man’s the one who stole Grunade’s national treasure? I can’t believe you’re finger pointing without proof. Tsk, tsk.”

“Who else could have done it?!”

Alice rests her hand on Russell’s head to try to calm the surprisingly vehement chimera.

“Hey, Russell, the only thing we know for sure at this moment is that a large feline monster stole a sorcery stone belonging to a country called Grunade, which has thrown everything into chaos over there... And not to change the subject, but an organization we recently skirmished with had a giant feline monster as a pet.”

Grasping what Alice is hinting at, Russell stares at her in disbelief.

“...A-are you planning to frame Hiiragi for the theft?!”

“Frame? No one said anything about framing. I’m just stating facts. The only orgs known to have feline monsters as pets are us and Hiiragi. And there’s no hard evidence that paints Tiger Man as the culprit. So what we need to do in this situation is have faith in our comrade Tiger Man. Isn’t that right, Six?”

“Yep, I believe in Tiger Man. Kisaragi values its people. Hey, Russell, when did you become so jaded?”

Russell’s jaw drops at that.

“W-wait, wait, wait! Why are you making it sound like I'm the bad guy here?! I mean, sure, I value my friends and comrades, too! But based on motives and circumstances...”

Alice gently pats Russell’s head.

"When it comes to villainy, the important stuff happens once the hard evidence starts coming out. It’s too early to panic. Isn't that right, Six?”

“Yeah. When the evidence is this thin, it’s best to point to the shortcomings in the accusers’ case and act like we’re being victimized by them. Then when the accusers briefly back down, they’re met with an unfortunate little accident.”

“W-wow... This is why humans are..

Heine looks at a loss for words as Russell pushes Alice’s hand off his head.

“...H-hey, Russell? Don’t you hate that beastman? I mean, you do nothing but complain about him, so I figured you’d be happy he was out for a bit...”

Russell harumphs in exasperation and looks coldly over at Heine.

“...Of course I hate him, and I’m glad he’s not here! But I do know that he’s powerful, and chimeras obey strong creatures out of instinct.”

Seems this is the first time she’s had a colleague look at her that way. Heine appears uncomfortable as she responds.

“I-I see! Okay, if you say so! I’m glad to hear it. Y’know, you had me worried a bit because you squealed like a girl when Six flipped up your skirt the other day.”

“...D-did I really sound like a girl?” Russell asks in shock as Heine glances away.

Alice then addresses the pair of them:

“Now that the Grace Kingdom’s absorbed the Demon Lord’s territories, Grace and Grunade share a border. Besides, Princess Tillis has already taken the initiative and sent them a letter saying, ‘We’re pleased to have you as a neighbor. As a neighborly warning, our kingdom was recently attacked by a giant feline monster owned by the Hiiragi Agency of Order. We hope you haven’t been similarly attacked.’”

“You know, there’s a line that you shouldn’t cross, even against your enemies. Honestly you guys are worse than us demons.”

“Yep, humanity definitely needs to go extinct.”

I’ll take that as a compliment.