Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 6 - Chapter 5.4

4

“It’s pretty cold today, isn’t it? Usually it’s too hot to sleep. What’s going on?”

“I’m sure there’s days like that. The biggest problem with the surface is the unstable weather…”

There are two soldiers exchanging words as they stand in front of the small watch station atop the outer wall.

“…Huh? It’s raining! I didn’t expect it to rain around here…”

“Dammit, our electronics are going to get wet… I wish I could dress like the surface dwellers in Toris and wear lighter clothing… Hey, did you hear something in the distance?”

The demotivated soldier notices something and speaks up as he throws a tarp over some sort of machine.

And then—

“Whoa!”

“Lightning?! Hey, are we seriously gonna have a storm?”

—electricity arcs across the sky, and the soldiers cover their ears as thunder rumbles a split second later.

And just as the soldiers feared, the first droplets begin to fall. In the blink of an eye, the light rain becomes a heavy downpour that muffles all other sounds in the area.

Shortly after, they rush to take shelter within the watch station.

“Combat Agent Six here. The guards have temporarily taken shelter. Who made the noise? We would’ve been in trouble without that lightning. Over.”

I report the situation over my comm unit, then return to watching over the surroundings. I use my optical camo to hide near the main gate and outer wall that protects the city of Toris.

“Alice here. Grimm’s the one who made the noise. She’s barefoot, and since she’s not used to walking, she tripped. Has the giant cat noticed you? If it does, spread some catnip and flee. Also, are you wearing your optical camo? It also serves as a raincoat. Make sure you have it on during this storm, or you might catch a cold. Over.”

So much nitpicking. Who is she, my mom?

“Everything’s fine. It hasn’t noticed me because of the storm. The giant cat is currently being soaked by the rain and curling up for warmth… What should I do? I wanna adopt it…”

“We’re already caring for two chimeras and the Combat Agents. We can’t take care of it.”

Don’t put us in the same league as pets, dammit.

“This rain is a blessing that the princess brought us at great cost to herself. We won’t miss this opportunity. I’m going to move everyone close now. Let me know when the enemy resumes their watch. Over.”

“Yeah, Tillis really took one for the team this time. We won’t let the opportunity go to waste. Over.”

Yes, this storm is caused by Tillis. But she didn’t use magic to call this storm. Before heading to Toris, we took the demons from Hideout City to the palace and asked her to do that. We asked her to chant the prayer in front of the demons.

There’s a condition for using the rain-making artifact, after all. It’s required that a royal chant the prayer to the artifact in front of a large number of people.

Alice’s guess was that the reason the artifact will only function when a royal chants the prayer is that it has a biometric security system tied to the DNA of the royal family to avoid having the artifact get misused, and it requires a large number of people to watch because it is fueled by the magic from the people gathered in front of it.

Meaning, we had Tillis shout out that prayer.

Since she threw a tantrum and said she would never say those words in front of her own people, as a compromise (a loophole, really), we brought the particularly discrete demons, but…

“Dammit, I should’ve recorded Tillis with a digital camera!”

“I recorded it, so relax. But damn, there’s good sides to the princess, too. While she looked a little foolish when she shouted the words for Snow’s sake, it was still a cool move.”

Snow beseeched the princess for a large amount of rain so that she could risk her life to infiltrate Toris. And Tillis, with great reluctance, accepted that request.

It’s this moment I notice someone approaching from the darkness.

It’s the wet noise of footsteps in the rain that confirms the others have arrived.

“Allll right, is everyone here? I can’t tell if you’re here thanks to the optical camo. Everyone, report in!”

“All but Rose and Snow held hands on the way, so we’re all here. And everyone’s present right now.”

“Aww, all friendly now, aren’t you? …Err, wait. I know about Rose since she’s on Mr. Mogero, but what happened with Snow?”

As I exchange whispers with Alice, something white appears from the darkness as though to answer my question.

Because she can’t see us, Snow, who is astride her unicorn and soaking wet with rain, looks to be on the verge of tears, desperate to find us.

Ah, so she couldn’t fully cover the unicorn’s large body with optical camo…

“We were supposed to be stealthy until we got inside the city. What are we gonna do with her?”

“I guess we have no choice. Snow can wait a short distance away.”

Just as Alice is about to issue her next orders, I’m struck with an idea.

I get close to Snow.

“Eeep! S-someone just touched my butt…! H-hey, who just touched my chest?!”

<Evil Points Acquired> <Evil Points Acquired>

I was going to criticize her for falling behind so quickly, but I guess I’ll let her go this time in exchange for the Evil Points.

I look to the watch station on the outer wall…

“Hey, dammit, stop! Six, I know it’s you touching me! S-stop…!”

…Seems there are others who had the same idea I did.

If you’re going to earn Evil Points, do it a little more quietly, will you?

“Six, dammit, that’s enough…! W-wait, there are too many hands! So it’s not just one of you groping me?!”

Finally out of patience, Snow draws a sword.

“Whoever was touching me, speak up! I’m going to charge you for every grope!”

“Who goes there?! …What are you doing out this late?!”

“Unicorns are the military mounts of the kingdom of Grace! It’s an intruder! Sound the alarm!”

The two soldiers come bounding out of the watch station and draw conclusions based on seeing Snow.

Mixed in with the sound of heavy rain comes the high-pitched whine of a siren.

“Dammit, Snow really stepped in it this time! Well, no use crying over getting discovered! Let’s go, you apes! Charge straight through!”

““““Chaaaaarge!””””

“I don’t agree with it being treated like my mistake! I’ll find all of you that touched me!”

As Alice shouts out the orders, we throw aside our optical camo and attack the soldiers—!

“Enemy sighted! Enemy sighted! Currently, an unidentified intruder has entered the city and is conducting activities related to sabotage! Civilians are to remain inside! We repeat…”

The announcement rang throughout the city of Toris.

Sounds like the other agents are already busy.

Originally, our plan called for acting as a group until the enemy found us, but we’re improvising here.

“Heine and Russell, go attack the soldiers’ barracks. If you encounter the enemy, fight with civilian houses at your backs. The enemy claims to be the good guys, so they shouldn’t be able to fire at you under those circumstances.”

“So we’re going to use civilian housing as a shield… Well, okay, fine. I mean, we’re former Elite Four and demons to boot…”

I stand next to Alice as she issues instructions to Heine.

“Listen, Six, opportunities like this are rare! There’s a row of luxury shops that cater to nobles in front of us! We’re right in the middle of enemy territory! If we set fire to those shops, we can do major damage to their economy!” chirps Snow.

“Well sure, that’s probably true. But in your case, I’m pretty sure you just wanna loot them! To go out of your way to loot and pillage during an assault, just what’s wrong with Grace’s knights?! What kind of knight are you?!”

Snow was mere moments away from forgetting the purpose of the mission and going on a looting spree.

“What happened to your desire to avenge Vi?! All of us were kinda moved by your speech, y’know?! Now I just want to take that back!”

“That’s that, and this is this! Why don’t you come with me? Look, there’s a store that appears to sell jewelry. I’ll let you have that, so leave the weapons shop next to it for me.”

The knight makes an awful proposal and readies the bags she loaded onto the unicorn’s back.

…Did she seriously bring the unicorn to Toris just so it could carry her loot?

As I debate whether to just give up on Snow, Grimm speaks up, smiling happily while carrying around the mementos from the demons in a big sack like Santa Claus.

“Commander, I’m ready to rain down curses whenever you are! Oh, should we head closer to the center of the city? Hee-hee-hee-hee, I’m going to curse all the couples in Toris to meet the person of their dreams! That way if I get backlash from the curse, happiness will rain down upon me instead! And what makes it even better is that the couples I do curse will end up breaking up because they’ve met someone better!”

“Stop! Don’t waste the demons’ mementos on such a useless thing! You’ve got a different curse you’re supposed to put on this place, remember?!”

We’re in the middle of enemy territory, but none of them seem to have any sense of urgency appropriate to the occasion!

“Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Now’s the time to teach the humans to fear us demons! Let’s go, Russell! I’ll engulf Toris in a sea of flames!”

“All right, I’ll make sure that humanity remembers they’re merely my playthings! Once Heine’s finished burning everything to a crisp, I’ll wash it away with a mighty flood!”

“No one told you to go that far! Your orders were to attack the barracks!”

Heine and Russell run off to attack the barracks with a noticeable pep in their step.

I watch them and speak to Alice, who’s issuing orders.

“I guess Kisaragi’s folks were pretty normal, huh? The people of this planet are ludicrous!”

“It’s just the people around you who are weird. You know what they say about birds of a feather, yeah?”

As explosions ring out amid the sound of pelting rain, I grab Snow and Grimm by the scruffs of their necks and start toward the palace, my main objective—

And stop as I see a familiar face on the main road to the palace.

“Y-you… I knew you were evil, but I didn’t think you’d go this far…”

Adelie stares at us in shock, too surprised to even wring the rain from her hair.