3
<Evil Points Acquired>
“Hey, hey, hey! Who the hell gave you permission to open a shop here?!”
“Eeep! I—I sent an application form to the landowner…!”
I listen to the Evil Points announcement in my head as I loom over the woman in front of me.
In Grace, we find the stall selling the water crystals, but…
“Don’t give me this complicated talk of application forms! Where the hell did you get these rocks, huh? Go on, spit out your source!”
“I—I—I—I can’t reveal that! It’d impact my credibility, and supplier information is life and death for a merchant…!”
The woman tries her best to hold her ground while glancing nervously around for help.
But the people of the city, evidently aware of who I am, all pass by, pretending not to notice…
As I tower over the woman who is on the verge of tears, Alice gently places her hand on my arm.
“Let’s try talking to her first, okay? Are you all right? I’m sorry about my companion. He’s usually not such a bad guy, but… He’s been swindled before, so he gets really aggressive against shady merchants.”
Alice affects a pained expression, then approaches the woman I’m intimidating and gently takes her hand.
The woman, her eyes brimming with tears, seems to relax a bit at Alice’s words.
“I—I—I see. Then I guess that can’t be helped… B-but I’m a legitimate merchant.”
I want to complain about being described as an extortion victim, but it seems Alice is attempting to play the good cop here.
The good cop, bad cop routine forms the basics of Kisaragi negotiation techniques.
“A legitimate merchant. Still, it’s a bit odd, isn’t it? Water crystals are a precious mineral found in Toris. But we currently don’t have any relations with them. And if you can’t talk about your supplier, it’s only natural that people suspect you of smuggling…”
“See? She’s doing shady business! To secretly conduct business with an enemy country we’re not trading with, how suspicious! I’m going to pass you off to the greedy knight who loves taking credit for things!”
“P-p-please wait! I haven’t smuggled anything; please believe me! Um, by greedy knight, do you mean Lady Snow?! Tell anyone but her, please! If she gets ahold of my weaknesses, she’ll squeeze me for all I’m worth!”
She’s more scared of Snow than she is of me. Just what the hell has that corrupt chick been doing?
Kisaragi may be an evil corporation, but recruiting her might have been a mistake.
The woman, terrified, looks around cautiously before saying softly,
“So just between us, the water crystals were given to me by a certain person. It seems like their intention is to support this kingdom from the shadows, seeing as we’re chronically short on water. They’ve been handing out water crystals to various merchants and telling us that they want the crystals distributed cheaply to the people…”
Wait, what? Is this a campaign from some sort of charitable organization?
…It’s now that Alice murmurs to herself, “They’ve already got operatives in this kingdom. What a nuisance.”
I don’t know what she’s talking about, but thinking is her job.
Which means what I ought to do is…
“If you got them for free, then you won’t mind if we confiscate them, eh? Give us all your water crystals, dammit! We’re taking them because you’re kinda shady! We’ll be the ones to distribute them to the kingdom! If you want them back, then you can go and prove that you obtained them legitimately!”
“Th-that’s not fair. I may have gotten them for free, but they’re mine now! Please, miss, stop this man!”
As I hear the Evil Point chime, I once again tower over the woman.
The woman turns a pleading gaze to Alice.
“To sell imported goods in this kingdom, you need to report where you acquired them, how much you acquired them for, and your sale price. What do you intend to do about that?”
“Oh, I just don’t report any of that. That way I don’t have to pay any taxes. It’s killing two birds with one stone.”
The woman’s knee-jerk response to Alice is shockingly brazen, but she soon comes to her senses.
“What was that about doing legit business, Ms. Tax Dodger?!”
“That was just a slip of the tongue, sir! Please, just pretend you didn’t hear anything!”
As the woman throws herself over the water crystals, I respond cheerfully with a canned response, wiggling my fingers in delight.
“Hee-hee-hee, you can scream all you want, but no one’s coming to help! Now, don’t resist!”
“Ohhh, so confiscating the water crystals is just an excuse and what you really want is my body! Fine, if you wanna do something pervy, go ahead and do it! In exchange, I’m keeping the crystals!”
I smirk at the woman as she screams something ridiculous at the top of her lungs.
“Relax, I’ve got my pride and honor as a man. Sexual assault is strictly prohibited. Just hand over the crystals. Also, you’re not my type. C’mon, hurry up!”
“How rude! I’m not going to hand over this amazing opportunity! I already decided I’m going to sell these crystals and make a fortune! If seduction won’t work, then how about money?! I’ll give you ten percent of the sales, so help me dodge my taxes!”
“…Hey, Six, look at the price she’s selling the crystals for. Despite being told to sell them cheaply, she’s actually charging an arm and a leg for them.”
Damn. Not only is she planning to dodge taxes, but she’s ripping people off.
“Paying taxes is a citizen’s duty. I bet we’ll find all sorts of dodgy things about you if we dig around! I’m going to report you to the proper authorities!”
“Heeeelp! Someone help meeeeee!”
Right at this moment—
“That’s enough!”
As the woman (who turned out to be a lot shadier than a simple tax dodger) screams, someone with weird tastes decided to respond.
Just as I’m thinking this series of events feels oddly familiar, Alice and I turn around to see—
“…What the hell are you doing here?”
“I was helping an old man in the city carry a ton of luggage. That’s when this lady came up to me and told me I had promise. Then she asked if I wanted to help her bring justice to the world!”
Standing before us is Rose, with a sunny smile on her face. And next to her is Adelie…
“Ah, so we meet again, Agentsix! Thanks to you, I spent a long time in jail! The police spent every day lecturing me. I’m definitely going to repay you for that!”
“The reason you got lectured was because you’re a criminal.”
“I’m! Going! To repay you for that!”
Adelie ignores my quip and repeats herself, angrily enunciating each word.
“…Hey, Six, who’s this weird woman?”
“Someone I’ve met but don’t know. She’s some oddball named Adelie.”
Alice looks at Adelie like she’s a curious specimen, before clapping her hands together in recognition.
“Ah, so she’s the white-armored weirdo from the reports… Now I get it.”
I don’t know what she gets from our exchange, but Alice turns toward Adelie.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Adelie. I’m Six’s partner, Alice Kisaragi.”
“Thank you for your polite introduction. I am Adelheid Krueger, the Umbral Savior. You can call me Adelie or Ms. Justice… Now.”
Adelie then points at me and speaks in a ringing voice.
“Agentsix, you’ve finally shown your true colors! You’ve entrapped me multiple times and turned me over to the police, but…now that I’ve caught you in the act, you’re not getting away this time!”
“You kept getting caught on your own. I don’t remember setting any traps for you.”
“Now that! I’ve caught you! In the act! You’re not getting away this time!”
Adelie once again ignores my quip and smiles triumphantly.
“Your crimes are blackmail and attempted sexual assault. You’re trying to steal the water crystals that I magnanimously provided to this kingdom’s people! That’s undeniably evil!”
“Ah, so you’re the source of water crystals. And you’re admitting to being connected to the merchant who’s trying to sneak away, right?”
At Alice’s observation, Adelie tilts her head quizzically.
The merchant, who has somehow sneaked away with the bag of water crystals on her back, reels at Alice’s observation…
“Ah, she’s making a break for it! Rose, that lady’s attempting to dodge her taxes! She’s a criminal! Chase her!”
“Ohhh?! U-understood! I’ll go get her!”
I watch as Rose runs after the fleeing merchant before I hand Adelie the price tag that had been on the water crystals.
“Didn’t I tell you what my job was? I’ve been given the authority to arrest people in order to preserve the peace in this city. That woman’s crimes include tax evasion and running an unauthorized business, but it seems she’s committed additional crimes. We’ll find out more after an interrogation… This also makes you a coconspirator.”
“No, that’s not true, Comrade Agentsix! Please listen to me, friend! So Rose, the person I recruited, was one of your people? She’s a really good girl, with a great sense of justice. A rare find, indeed. Also, I’m sorry for doubting you, Agentsix, when you have subordinates like her. You are an ally of justice. I was right about you after all.”
Adelie starts nervously offering excuses after seeing the price tag, while Alice efficiently sends off an order memo and obtains a set of Kisaragi-manufactured handcuffs.
“Adelie, was it? I have a fair sense of who you are, but tell the details to the cops. All right then, it’s time for us to get going.”
“Wait, please listen to me! …Oh?! Wait, I don’t feel an evil aura coming from you. You look like a child, but what are you, exactly?!”
Adelie drops into a battle stance as she backs away, trying to avoid getting handcuffed by Alice.
Exasperated, Alice lets out a sigh and speaks.
“…What the hell is an evil aura? There’s no way you could sense anything like that.”
“No, I know! It’s the sixth sense of justice! My sense is right about twenty percent of the time. When someone catches my eye, I then unmask them with this!”
As though she has drawn a firm conclusion, Adelie draws out her crystal ball.
Wait, 20 percent accuracy? That’s basically random chance, isn’t it…?
“This is a karma-measuring crystal that reads the person’s soul. So if you’re going to insist you’re not evil…!”
Alice grabs the crystal ball before Adelie can finish her explanation.
Obviously, the crystal ball that reads souls or whatever shows no reaction.
“…It doesn’t turn black when Alice touches it, but what does that mean?”
“…If it’s not turning white or black, I guess it means she’s neutral? I’ve never seen this before…”
Alice mercilessly cuffs Adelie’s wrists as Adelie stands there in confusion.
“Stop playing with stupid toys. It’s time to go.”
“Wait, hold on! I shouldn’t have done that! I’m sorry for doubting you; please forgive me! Please, if the police arrest me again, I won’t get out for a long time! It’s really hard to deal with the interrogator’s exasperated tone when he says, ‘You again…?’.”
We haul Adelie off toward the police station as she howls in protest.
“<Hey, Six, I’ve never met them myself, but are the Heroes on Earth at least a little better? The superheroes that threaten Kisaragi can’t be all like this, right?>”
I keep silent, since Alice asks in Japanese.
“So just what the heck is she anyway? She’s always going on and on about justice, so it’s clear she’s not someone we can coexist with, but…”
Having returned to Hideout City, I mutter to myself as I lie on my cheap bed.
While we were able to deliver Adelie to the cops, it seems the tax-dodging merchant was able to evade Rose’s pursuit.
Because of that, I suspect the merchant might be quite the skilled operator, but given that Rose had meat-skewer sauce around her mouth when she came back, she is being interrogated by Grimm on suspicion of accepting a bribe.
At my random muttering, Alice, who followed me to my room and is sitting on the couch as she cleans her trusty shotgun, speaks.
“She’s an agent of the mystery faction that wiped out the Toris royal family. She’s done a lot of weird things like flooding the market with cheap water crystals and trying to crack down on crime in the city, but there’s no doubt that she’s one of theirs.”
…?!
“Seriously? We lost Toris to someone that useless?! We were outmaneuvered by that?!”
“No, I’m pretty sure she’s one of their rank and file, not a leader…”
Alice sounds oddly unsure of herself.
“…But she’s an agent? When I heard they took down Toris, I figured they were really strong, but they must really be short on help if they’re recruiting people like her. I mean, getting arrested three times when you’re sent somewhere as a spy is a pretty remarkable bit of incompetence.”
“I can’t comment on that. I mean, I’ve got an agent in front of me who was sent to this planet as a spy, screwed up, got caught, and nearly ruined the mission.”
Since I’m a man who doesn’t dwell on the past, I have no idea what Alice is talking about.
“Anyway, figuring out her identity will have to wait until the investigation is over. I know she’s been arrested twice already, but I let the authorities know she might be a spy. She probably won’t be troubling us for a while.”
“I dunno… As a Combat Agent, my gut is telling me that we haven’t seen the last of her…”
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