Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 6 - Chapter 1.3

3

The next day.

“All right, we’re leaving the city in your care.”

We stand in front of the gate that leads from Hideout City to the woods.

Alice is saying her good-byes as she stands, carrying a backpack, accompanied by Viper, who is dressed in her Snake Woman outfit.

The rest of the usual crew, minus the other Combat Agents, is here to see them off.

“Yes, leave running the city to me! I’ve always been really interested in governing! Really, really interested!!” says Snow, intent on staying behind.

I’m pretty sure she’s just interested in the bribes that inevitably go hand in hand with running a city.

“All right. Rose and I should keep our eyes on Snow so she doesn’t do anything stupid, right?”

“Leave it to us! If Ms. Snow does anything bad, I’ll bite her up!”

“You two… You’ve really stopped pulling your punches of late…”

At Grimm’s and Rose’s responses, Snow, with a faintly troubled expression, murmurs, “…So where are you two planning to go?”

“Well because of the stupidly huge mechanical lizard and the barbarians, I hadn’t been able to do a proper survey of the surroundings. Since things have settled down a bit, it’s a good opportunity to survey the landscape and look for useful raw materials and water sources for industrial use. Basically, we’re going to explore.”

…

“Hold up! Why do you get to go on a fun adventure like that?! That’s a big risk you’re taking out there given how weak you are! You need me out there with you! Your combat specs are the same as an average human child, so you should take a Combat Agent along for protection!”

In response, Alice points to Viper, who is also carrying a backpack.

“I’ve got all the protection I need right here. I’m taking Viper with me this time. She’s not only stronger than all of you, but she’s smarter and she’s got a decent amount of common sense to boot. No matter how you look at it, Viper’s a better choice than a Combat Agent.”

“Um… Erm… I’ll do my best…,” says Viper with a bow. There isn’t anything I can say in response.

Wait, hold on; that’s not the point!”

“Hold on, Alice! I’m your partner! C’mon, Vi! I know you’re talented, but don’t take my role away from me!”

“I-I-I-I’m sorry, I apologize! Um, Ms. Alice… Given what Mr. Six is saying, maybe I should stay and do administrative work in my office…,” Viper says nervously, but Alice shakes her head.

“Either way, I’m gonna need someone with local knowledge. But the other three locals are useless, so it’s not like I had a choice but to take you in the first place.”

“Just a moment, Alice! I used to be a high-ranking officer in the kingdom! Calling me useless is a bit much, don’t you think?! Also, this has been bothering me… I get why Six would call Snake Woman ‘Viper,’ but why are you doing it as well…? And the way you’re saying it makes it seem like this Viper is someone from this world…”

As Snow starts rambling to herself, I decide to push my case to Alice.

“C’mon, Alice, I’m your partner! You’ve been so busy acting like the commander that you’re paying no attention to me! C’mon, gimme a bit of your time! Besides, no matter how strong Vi is, it’s still dangerous having just two girls out there!”

Frankly, I’d much rather go on a planetary exploration mission that’s full of mystery and adventure than deal with the bothersome bits of paperwork that come with running a city.

As I grab her tiny shoulders and shake her, Alice, despite being an android, looks like she’s struggling with her emotions while she thinks through the situation.

“…All right, fine. Then you can tag along. But don’t do anything stupid like you did when we first got here, okay? You’ve got a history of doing stuff like screwing with the rain-making artifact.”

I take the backpack from Alice and hoist it onto my own shoulders.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but leave it to me. With a single punch, I’ll take care of all the barbarians that dare approach you.”

“I’m telling you not to do those things, you idiot. This mission includes trying to negotiate with the local savages.”

I half listen to Alice’s words as I excitedly put on the backpack.

While I finish my prep, Viper takes the opportunity to ask Alice a question.

“Ms. Alice, shouldn’t we tell the other Combat Agents as well? Like Mr. Six, there might be others who want to tag along…”

“I’m sure there will be. In fact, I’m pretty sure all of them are so bored by the peace that they’ll all try to come. It’d be a hassle to deal with them, so we’re just going to leave them be. I’m sure they’ll forget about it if we bring them back a souvenir or two,” Alice says as though it’s the most obvious solution in the world, but she’s probably right about the hassle.

With that said, Tiger Man, the one who will be the most trouble if he gets upset, has gone off to look for a sorcerer stone that is superior to even the one he nabbed from a dragon.

The other Combat Agents are all simpletons, so I’m sure they’ll perk up if Viper gives them their souvenirs with an apologetic look.

And then…

“Snow’s insistent on staying in the city, while Grimm’s wheelchair’s not really suited for exploration.”

“Yes. I’m a city girl, so I’m going to pass on the woods. I gotta keep an eye on Snow, too.”

As Alice glances toward Grimm’s feet, Grimm smiles and folds her hands on her lap. Just then, Rose chimes in.

“I wouldn’t mind tagging along and eating some monsters after hunting them, but…”

“You’re fine in terms of combat ability, but you’re a bit lacking in the brains department. You should stay at Hideout City this time around and do the math problems Alice left for you… Hey, why are you looking at me like that? I actually graduated middle school, so I outrank you in education!”

“…It’s a little weird for you, who’s not much smarter than Rose, to be acting so smug, but… Anyway, are you two ready to go?” asks Alice, now significantly lighter on her feet since I took her backpack.

“Vi, this is your first exploration mission, right? It’s gonna be a tough journey, but no special treatment for you, got it? However, if things get too tough, make sure you ask for help from me, the veteran Combat Agent, okay?”

“Okay, Mr. Six. I promise to ask for help if need be. But I’ll do my best not to get in your way…”

As Viper and I exchange nods, Alice says with an even more aggressive expression than usual, “Right then, our objective this time is to find useful resources, secure a water source, and bring the savages to our side! And more than anything, we’re going to find out how the life-forms on this planet are ignoring the laws of physics!”

Dammit, she’s adding a personal vendetta of hers to our objective.

She’s going on about how griffin flight spits in the face of physics, and seeing as she already hates the supernatural, asking her to ignore stuff like this is probably a tall order.

…But come to think of it, she did pretty well last time. Saving Viper while making it look like she self-destructed was a clutch move. I guess I owe my cranky partner some credit, so I’ll help her out as best as I can this time.

“I don’t care if it’s a griffin or a dragon! I’ll wipe out all life-forms that defy the laws of evolution and aerodynamics!”

Such are the words of the pretty-girl android who holds so much animosity for the supernatural, you’d think a dragon killed her family or something.