Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 6 - Chapter 1.1

CHAPTER 1

  Alien Planet Exploration Log

1

It’s been one month since the massive celebration commemorating the destruction of the Sand King, the giant monster that wreaked havoc on the surrounding countries.

With the Demon Lord’s spectacular self-destruction in the midst of the celebration, the war between humanity and the Demon Lord’s Army came to an end.

The kingdom of Grace declared an end to the war, and in our Hideout City, the demon refugees were hard at work.

Although there was the occasional attack from barbarians and monsters from the Great Woods near Hideout City, the Kisaragi Combat Agents had been dealing with them pretty easily.

“Vi, when are you gonna be done with work? This video game’s getting a little stale, so why don’t we take a break and go bother Heine?”

We’re currently enjoying a period of peace.

“I’m working on projects that aren’t due for quite a while, so I’m free to take a break whenever, but… No, Mr. Six, we shouldn’t bother others while they’re working. Please don’t tease Heine too much.”

As I lie on the sofa and toss my portable game console onto the table in boredom, Viper’s pen stops as she turns to look at me, her brow faintly pinched with concern.

“I’m not teasing her. Besides, boys tease girls because they like them. It’s the thing where I can’t help but tease the girls I like.”

“I see… So, Mr. Six, does that mean you like Heine…?” Perhaps because we’ve never broached the subject, Viper asks with a faintly hopeful expression.

“I like her face and body.”

“Honestly, I don’t dislike how honest and direct you are. But please don’t say that to her face.”

We’re in Viper’s office.

Viper switched jobs from being the Demon Lord to one of Kisaragi’s female mutants, and Alice has officially given her this room to serve as her executive office.

It’s a slightly nicer room than most, and it has also become my preferred hangout spot.

…Oh, speaking of which.

“Do you have any special abilities other than your healing magic, Vi? For example, can you manipulate fire or water like Heine and Russell?”

“Special abilities? Well, I’m good at time magic. I can rewind time and fix people’s injuries or mend broken items. I can also accelerate time, which allows me to do things like make crops grow faster.”

Ah, I see, so she’s a time mage.

In anime and video games, that’s definitely something only super-powerful characters can do.

“…So does that mean you can stop time, too? Damn, Vi, I’m super impressed! You can peek on baths and changing rooms all you want, can’t you?!”

“Stopping time takes an enormous amount of mana, so I can’t do that. I mean, even if I could, I wouldn’t do such things… Goodness, why are you always plotting such nefarious schemes, Mr. Six?”

She speaks as though she’s lecturing a small child.

“You’re a Supreme Leader of an evil corporation. If anything, Vi, you’re supposed to be one of the people who seduces me, the innocent and pure Six, to the path of evil.”

Yes, that’s right. Viper is now a Supreme Leader in the evil Kisaragi Corporation.

I have no doubt that in the near future I’ll be able to see evil Viper in action.

“M-me?! …I suppose that’s true. They were nice enough to give me a leadership role, so I suppose I should put all my effort into luring you to the dark side. Um… And what am I supposed to do, exactly?”

“Since you’re a female Supreme Leader, I think drawing me in with promises of erotic pleasure is your best bet. While your skintight bodysuit is a little lewd, I think you could show some more skin… What’s with that look, Vi? Are you questioning my wisdom?”

For some reason, Viper is wearing an exasperated expression and mumbling something under her breath.

“Um…well, I feel like you just want me to wear sexy clothes, Mr. Six…”

I guess I’ve been teasing her a little too much lately. She’s finally growing suspicious of me.

When Viper first took the job, I told her that female Supreme Leaders were supposed to help Combat Agents relax, and I talked her into giving me massages or lap-pillow ear-cleaning sessions, but it’s gotten much harder to convince her to do that sort of stuff.

Right now, she isn’t wearing the appropriately lascivious bodysuit that she had as Snake Woman, but rather, the clothing she had worn as the Demon Lord.

* * *

But it’s true that the female Supreme Leaders of an evil corporation have to be easy on the eyes.

“If you look at the Kisaragi’s Supreme Leaders, other than Lilith who’s supposed to be the brains, everyone else is dressed pretty erotically, right? And even Heine, a former member of the Elite Four, is practically naked!”

“N-now that you mention it!”

And it was at that moment…

…the office door slowly opened, and—

“I’m sorry, Mr. Six! I’m ashamed that I doubted you… I’ll do my best to become a Supreme Leader with as much sex appeal as Heine!”

“Vi…?! Lady Viper?! Don’t suddenly say ridiculous things so loudly!”

With impeccable timing, Heine entered the room and threw cold water on Viper’s pronouncement.

“Hey, don’t interrupt us! Vi’s finally awakening to her true nature! Get back to work.”

“Awakening? Don’t insult us! Stop filling Lady Viper’s head with weird ideas! …Wait, never mind that! That’s not why I’m here!”

Heine slaps the wall a few times as she speaks.

“It seems the party that went to check on Toris is back. Alice wants you in the conference room!”

The neighboring kingdom of Toris has been wiped out.

At first, I don’t understand what that report means, but it seems they were suddenly invaded by a mysterious new force and crushed with little to no effort.

Additionally, the royal family of Toris has vanished, but we don’t know who this mysterious new entity is, nor do we know what happened to the prince Snow had been trying to seduce.

“According to the reports from our scouting party, the capital of Toris is currently blockaded, and they had no idea what was going on inside. It doesn’t seem like the occupying force is preparing to invade us; we don’t even know if they’re an enemy. With the Demon Lord’s Army gone, it would have been only a matter of time before we could take out Toris ourselves, but… Well, they took our prey from us, but for now we’re going to just see how things turn out.”

Alice speaks from her position at the head of the conference table, holding court as though she is the one in charge.

Since she seems to have a bit of an attitude, I grab her head and give her a noogie.

“You’re being awfully tame today. They took our prey from us! We can’t just kick back and let them have their way!”

My words trigger a flurry of responses from the other Combat Agents.

“Six, for once in your life you have a point! We gotta show ’em who’s boss!”

“Let’s invade! We can take over Toris or whatever it’s called now!”

“I dunno who the hell those guys think they are, but they can’t get away with stealing our prey from us! Kill ’em!”

The bloodthirsty underlings hold up their fists and howl.

“I mean, hell, what were the scouts even doing?! They couldn’t figure out who the enemy was and they couldn’t figure out their motive?! Ugh! How useless! They’re robbing us blind by collecting their pay! If you guys feel even a little guilty for how useless you are, go spend your undeserved salary on drinks for the rest of us!”

“Yeah, Six is right! If you’re not gonna pay for our drinks, get back to the war zone!”

“Punishment! Punishment for the useless!”

“You’re telling me you can’t even do recon on some backwater country on this ass-backward planet? You had all those fancy gadgets at your disposal and that was the best you could do? What a waste of Kisaragi technology!”

We gang up on the scouting party, who all wear guilty expressions.

Bullying people for their shortcomings while making excuses for our own is the Kisaragi way.

“Y-you bastards…! It’s not like we were out playing around! There was a huge tiger monster guarding the gates of Toris! One that was almost as big as that Sand King we fought recently!”

…Whoa, seriously?

The conference room falls quiet as everyone seems to think the same as me.

“Which is why we’re going to stand back and see how things develop. I know you’re all chickens at heart, so you probably won’t do anything now that you know there’s a considerable risk factor, but I’m still warning you to stay quiet for now.”

Alice’s voice seems to ring particularly loudly in the silence.

I feel as though Alice has seen right through me, so in an attempt to distract myself from that discomfort, I grab Alice’s head again.

“Wh-who the hell are you calling ‘chicken’?! We’re Combat Agents of the Kisaragi Corporation! We’re not scared of anything! We struggled against the Sand King because guns didn’t work on it, but as for other monsters? Pfft! They’re nothing… Isn’t that right, guys?!”

“Y-y-yeah! We’re totally not scared! Yep, not scared at all, right?!”

“Felt something pucker a little, but yep, totally fine!”

“The Sand King, huh…? W-well, obviously, if our guns didn’t malfunction we would’ve Swiss cheesed it!”

As the Combat Agents try to put on brave faces, Alice speaks from under my hand.

“Let me spell it out for you meatheads. This planet’s got abandoned combat vehicles and mysterious O-Parts, huge mechanical lizards and optical weaponry. And now we’ve got a giant monster the size of the Sand King sitting in front of Toris, which got taken out in a single day. The opponent, who we know nothing about, probably has tech and weaponry or at least living weapons that are more advanced than what we’ve got. Don’t think this is anything like the showing off you lot talk about against a bunch of backwoods yokels.”

The clamoring Combat Agents fall silent in an instant.

Just then, Alice stops and looks up at me.

“Then again, considering the relative worth of Combat Agent lives, we can afford to send in a single squad…”

“Why do you say that while looking at me?! Is it… Is it because I ignored your orders?! You’re gonna send me to my death just for that?! I’m sorry I didn’t trust you! I’m really, really sorry!”

“For the last time, stop weighing the value of our lives!”

“Everyone here is a veteran Combat Agent! You should treat us better!”

Alice shakes her head and sighs at our complaints.

“Then it’s like I said earlier. We’ll wait and see what they do. For now, let’s focus on developing Hideout City. This is the infrastructure stage of the game, essentially. Make sure you listen to me… Hey, don’t do anything stupid without my permission, got it? You guys over there, wipe that ‘you can count on us’ look off your faces. I’m serious!”