Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 5 - Chapter Ep

Epilogue 

It’s the day after the new leader’s arrival. 

We’ve managed to hand out home assignments and jobs to the demon settlers, and Hideout City is starting to develop a real sense of community. 

Last night, we were also able to squeak by without explaining much of anything because everyone got so wasted at the welcome party, but right now, Alice is surrounded by Combat Agents all demanding answers. 

“Hey, shrimp, you might have squeezed out a happy ending this time, but clue us in next time, will ya?” 

“Good job this time, runt. Great job with Snake Woman, by the way!” 

“Don’t let this get to your head, tiny. Also, go to Lady Lilith and get some big boobs installed.” 

Having had her hair thoroughly ruffled and her cheeks tugged and squeezed by the Combat Agents, Alice is starting to look really pissed off. 

“You guys are too stupid to help with a bluff. I had already gotten Tillis to agree to a mock public execution… But sure enough, in came Six, the one-brain-cell wonder, eager to screw everything up…” 

“Okay, I’ll admit that was pretty clever of you, pip-squeak. But seriously, tell us next time. If you repeat yourself a hundred times or so, even we won’t mess things up.” 

“I’ll be honest, I still don’t really follow, but it all worked out, didn’t it? Great! That means you can get back to work. We’re counting on ya for the reports since we don’t know the language and all.” 

“Hey, Alice, since the war’s over, you should stop acting like our boss and show us some proper respect!” 

Unable to listen a second longer, Alice finally snaps. Her expression becomes devoid of all emotion, and she speaks in a mechanical voice. 

“Damage to core unit detected. Company Secret Preservation protocol initiated. Self-destruction imminent. All nearby residents and Kisaragi operatives are to leave the immediate area at once. I repeat—” 

“Wait, Alice, that’s not funny! Don’t even joke about that! It’s scary as hell!” 

“Okay, okay, we were wrong, Alice! Stop with that creepy robot stuff!” 

“You’re kidding about self-destructing, right?! You’re just messing with us, right?! Please don’t be mad at us, Ms. Alice!” 

From the office window, I watch the other Combat Agents drop everything to try to get back on Alice’s good side. I then flop onto the sofa with my game console in hand. 

“Hey, Vi. What does this mean to you…? ‘Gale above, glacier below, and lightning storm behind. Thou must speak my name!’” 

“Perhaps it’s the name of a country rather than a creature? I’ve heard the country of Vivimunt in the tundra region is plagued by typhoons and lightning strikes.” 

As Viper explains the answer to me, Rose is taking a nap with her head on Viper’s lap. 

I enter my response while Viper scratches her pen along her paper… 

“Fool, begone! Thou shalt begin this dungeon anew!” 

“Vi…! It didn’t work! What should I do? Do I really have to do all that again…?” 

“Oh, was that wrong? I’m so sorry! Please forgive me! Once I finish sorting the paperwork, I’ll play up to that point for you!” 

On the day I thought I had lost Vi, the item Alice had handed over to her was a harmless flash grenade made for stage shows. All it did was emit sound and light. The note Alice had attached instructed Viper to use the device to pretend to blow herself up, then hide using Agent Ten’s optical camo device. The original plan had been to do a holographic public execution. Since Combat Agents are idiots who suck at lying, the two of them had planned everything out in secret. For screwing that plan up, I won myself a lengthy lecture from Alice and Tillis. 

While I ruminate on the events of that day, I hear: 

“…Hrmph, you’ve already moved on to a new woman? You really are scum.” 

After barging into the office without so much as a knock, Snow furrows her brow upon seeing Viper and me together. 

Oh yeah, she hasn’t been clued in yet. 

“Um, Mr. Six, shouldn’t we tell Ms. Snow…?” 

“Nah, no need, my dear Viper. She’s just a gold digger who’d probably sell you out for a big enough bribe.” 

Hearing me address Viper by her new nickname, Snow perks up. 

“…Did you just call her ‘Viper’?” 

“On my planet, there are different species of snakes like boa constrictors and vipers. Since she’s Snake Woman, I’m calling her Viper.” 

Hearing that, Snow frowns in disgust. 

“You really are a piece of work. To address this new woman by the same name as that poor girl who gave her life to fulfill her duty as the Demon Lord… Sure, I bullied her every day on behalf of the soldiers who lost their lives, but I did respect her, both as a leader and as a person. And yet you…” 

“U-um, Ms. Snow, please. That’s quite enough…” 

Viper blushes at the compliments, but Snow snaps in her direction. 

“I don’t remember saying you could address me as Ms. Snow!” 

“I-I’m sorry!” 

Snow scratches at her head in irritation, then turns back to me. 

“But forget all that. There’s actually a reason I’m here.” 

With that, she straightens up. 

“Please hire me to work at Kisaragi!” 

… 

“Huh? You do know that if we strip you of your knighthood, you’ll have nothing left…right?” 

“There’ll be plenty left! Wait, that’s not what I—! Look…the truth is, Her Highness has given me quite the lecture for this incident… It seems I might finally be getting fired…” 

Actually, I’ve already heard this part from Tillis. 

She herself asked me to add not only Grimm and Rose but also Snow to my ranks. 

Which is why her transfer is already a done deal, but… 

“If you’ll address me as Mr. Six and provide me some sort of sexy service every day, I’ll consider it.” 

“M-Mr. Six, th-that’s going a little too far… And Ms. Snow’s termination is probably my fault…” 

Viper interjects at my proposal, but it seems Snow’s realized something. 

“W-wait, as a mutant, isn’t Snake Woman higher up the chain of command than Six?! M-Ms. Snake Woman, please add me to the Kisaragi ranks!” 

“Hey! You little…!” 

It’s true; with her competence and strength, Viper’s been hired on as a Leader class. 

I—I mean, she’s a former Demon Lord, and she’s already used to managing people. I’m not at all bothered by her appointment. Really, I’m not. 

…Just as I was trying to convince myself of that fact— 

“Emergency alert! All Kisaragi operatives are to halt their tasks and assemble in the conference room.” 

—Alice’s announcement rings out, accompanied by the emergency alarm. 

Perking my ears to figure out what’s happening… 

“Our enemy, the kingdom of Toris, has been wiped out. I repeat, all available operatives are to assemble in the conference room.”