Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 5 - Chapter 4.1

CHAPTER 4 

 Vs. the Sand King 

1 

So we’ve come to terms with the kingdom of Grace. 

First, they will accept the territory the demons previously held as reparations and will not subjugate the former residents. 

Second, the kingdom accepts the resettlement of the demons to our Hideout City. 

Third, with the majority of the demon territory rendered unlivable due to the desertification, Kisaragi will eliminate the culprit: the Sand King. 

Fourth, once the Sand King is eliminated, the demon territory should slowly begin to flourish once more. Following that recovery, the kingdom of Grace’s war reparations will be considered paid in full. 

And fifth, the leaders and soldiers of the Demon Lord’s Army will join Kisaragi, while the residents will settle in Hideout City. 

For now, the demons will temporarily shelter in Hideout City, and if in the unlikely event we conclude that the Sand King is unkillable, the demons will be driven out, the agreement will become null and void, and the war between the demons and the kingdom of Grace will resume. 

…In short, everyone’s happy ending hinges on us killing this giant mole. 

So with that explanation out of the way… 

Alice has briefed the other agents. She’s now hosting a mole-busting meeting and gathering intel. 

“It shied away when Tiger Man punched it and when Rose breathed fire at it. So one glaring truth is that we don’t have enough firepower as we are. We should just get Lady Lilith to come back. Besides, she’s the reason the former Demon Lord is dead and why the Sand King is attacking. She should take responsibility.” 

As the agents nod at my comment, one of them raises his hand. 

“Nah, she’ll probably screw up something again and end up adding to our problems. Let’s ask for Lady Belial instead. If we can have her burn away the Great Woods along with the mole, it’ll really move our settlement plans forward.” 

Y’know…he makes a good point. 

While more agents start nodding in agreement, Alice throws a wrench into the plan. 

“Requesting the assistance of the Supreme Leaders is a no-go. The report we recently sent resulted in more punishment for Lady Lilith. Finally fed up, she threw a fit and launched a rebellion. She’s been calling on mutants and agents to join her but hasn’t received any support so far, so she’s holed up by herself. Since only another Supreme Leader can deal with her, we won’t get any help from them until they have her under control.” 

It certainly sounds like something Lilith would do, but what’s she trying to accomplish? 

“In that case, we’ll need some powerful weapons to take on the Sand King, but… Hey, you guys, how are you doing on Evil Points? I’m still in the red, so I can’t order anything.” 

That said, my current point total has recovered up to about negative sixty. 

At this rate, I should be able to use the transport system again in a few days. 

“That mole was shrugging off rounds from an anti-materiel rifle, so it’s more heavily armored than a tank. How many points would it take to get a weapon capable of damaging that?” 

“I’ve been blowing my points on porn ever since I got here… The lack of convenience stores and rental shops really hurts…” 

“Plus, over here, it costs points to get booze and cigarettes. But is the mole’s hide actually that tough? Are we sure it isn’t some sort of magical barrier or something?” 

Everyone starts pitching their theories, but nothing useful comes of it. 

We get some proposals for using nets woven out of wiring, and the idea that maybe flamethrowers would work since it shied from Rose’s flames, but… 

This is the sort of situation where Alice’s brains are our best bet. 

However, Alice shakes her head as everyone naturally turns to look at her. 

“I don’t have enough intel on that mole. Since we don’t know what’ll work, save your Evil Points. For now, I’ll try setting traps with materials from this planet, but don’t expect too much from them. Things like rockets, anti-materiel-rifle rounds, grenades, and sonic depth charges elicit a reaction if they connect, but they all lack that final punch. Still, there’s something off about that mole’s defenses. I won’t accept the existence of something as far-fetched as defensive magic, but we do need to explore every avenue we can.” 

As Alice willfully refutes the possibility of the supernatural, the agents start to grumble. 

“So you’re saying you’ve got nothing. Given how you’re always ordering us around, you need to be better about putting that brain to work when we need it.” 

Surprisingly, Alice nods to that. 

“All right… Well, I wasn’t going to suggest this at first, but we could always arm each of you with an R-Buzzsaw and have you charge in. Those would likely do some damage. I mean, losing a few Combat Agents doesn’t hurt Kisaragi in the slightest, so how about we try that?” 

“Don’t give her any ideas! She’s got command authority during war, remember? If she says to do it, we’ll actually have to!” 

“So you’re saying we’re expendable, you merciless rust bucket?!” 

“That’s beyond cruel! Combat Agents are people, too! Our lives are precious!” 

“I’m sorry for teasing you! So please—anything but that!” 

By the time the meeting is finally over, it seems the sun has set. It’s getting to be nighttime… 

In the deserted cafeteria, Snow, who’s been dragged into all this, is picking on Viper. 

“Why do I have to help defeat the Sand King?! Princess Tillis did mention something about our kingdom’s reputation suffering if Kisaragi eliminated it on their own, but…” 

“I’m sorry! You have my sincerest apologies! I’m so very sorry!” 

Despite the fact that she can’t hold her liquor, Snow has Viper pouring her drinks. One sip of sake later… 

“Mmm, that’s goo—I mean, this is rancid! A drink poured by a Demon Lord is unpalatable!” 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Sh-should I bring you some beer instead…?” 

Viper doesn’t break under Snow’s bullying and instead moves to fetch some beer, but… 

“Oh, no, this is fine. No need to put yourself out! Tch, because you inherited the throne, my Demon Lord intel was useless, and I missed my chance for glory! How are you going to take responsibility?!” 

“I’m sorry for inheriting the throne without your permission! Oh… Your cup is empty; should I refrain from refilling it…?” 

Snow turns to Viper, who’s been taking care of her despite the harassment. 

“Of course you should refill the empty cup! But right now, it’s time for you to drink!” 

“V-very well, I’ll have some…” 

Snow’s turned into an aggressive drunk, switching between saying sake poured by a Demon Lord is undrinkable and then demanding a refill, but… 

“I’ve had lots of dear subordinates die in battle against the Demon Lord’s Army, but if you drink all that up, I, Snow the Magnanimous, will forgive you! Show your appreciation!” 

“Th-thank you very much! I will have this drink as the representative of all demons…!” 

She’s a drunk, but she’s also a former knight captain who commanded a lot of troops. I suppose she’s still working through some bitter feelings toward the demons. 

Viper herself doesn’t seem to mind, so I guess I’ll leave them be. 

“Boff, you’re not gonna help Miff Fiper?” asks Rose with a full mouth as I watch Snow and Viper. 

“Vi has this tendency to occasionally seek atonement for the past, so maybe getting hazed a little helps her. If you see another agent bullying Vi, though, you can go ahead and chew on them.” 

“Understood. If Ms. Viper gets sexually harassed by someone, I’ll make sure to chomp on them.” 

I nod to Rose’s reassuring words and sip my beer. 

Eventually, the cafeteria empties out, and as I look around and get ready to leave… 

…the hideout quakes. 

“The mole’s back. Everyone, grab an R-Buzzsaw and assemble in the courtyard outside the hideout. If anyone’s still sleeping, slap them awake!” 

Alice’s broadcast rings through the base, and at the same time, the sounds of footfalls echo through the halls. 

Something about the specific order to grab an R-Buzzsaw bugs me, but I take mine, which is propped up against the table. 

“Time to go mole hunting! Let’s show them the power of the former Grace Kingdom Skirmish Squad!” 

“Boss, Snow blacked out from drinking too much! Also, Grimm’s still resurrecting!” 

Why are my squad members so useless when I need them?! 

With no other choice, I head out with only Rose in tow, but to my surprise, Viper tags along. 

“What are you doing, Vi? It’s dangerous. You should stay in the hideout.” 

“No, as the former Demon Lord, it’s my responsibility to see the demons to safety. I’m still their leader. I think I can be of use to you, Mr. Six…” 

…She can’t shake my worry, though. This girl’s seriously self-sacrificing. She probably wouldn’t hesitate to throw her life away if it meant saving someone else… 

“…You’re late, Six. You’re the last one here. I’m not surprised that Grimm is absent, but where the hell is Snow?” 

Arriving on the scene, I see the agents have surrounded the mole and are holding out long sticks. 

“Snow blacked out, so I left her behind. What are they doing?” 

The long sticks the agents are wielding are shaped like spoons, and there’s something piled on the ends of them. 

“We’re drawing its attention with food while we evacuate the demons. It wasn’t hard to guess what kind of food a mole would like. I whipped up a blend that it should find particularly appetizing.” 

Alice starts to write something while she speaks. 

I’m curious, so I sneak a peek and see she’s writing about Snow… 

Looks like it’s a report to Tillis. 

I guess she plans to use Snow’s screwup as a way to get concessions from Tillis during the negotiations. 

“If we have bait that moles like, it should be easy enough to prepare a trap. Should we try laying land mines or something?” 

“That’ll be a last resort. After all, you agents never remember where you bury your mines. I can say with absolute certainty one of you will end up stepping on one by mistake.” 

True, all agents except me are pretty stupid. 

We’re talking about a group of guys who might very well be dumber than a mole. There’s a good chance they really would step on their own land mines. 

The Sand King, lit by a spotlight, shows interest in the bait. Its nose is twitching this way and that. 

“I’ve mixed a powerful sedative into the bait. Once it falls asleep, we’ll have the upper hand. Finishing it off after that shouldn’t be too bad.” 

Alice says this without much conviction, but she’s forgetting something important. 

“This is a boss monster. It’s impervious to status effects.” 

That’s something any RPG gamer would know. 

If we could solve the problem with sedatives, that’d be a little too easy. 

Alice freezes for a moment, but then says with exasperation: 

“…Really? A ‘boss monster’? I know you think of everything as a video game, but this is reality. It’s time to get a grip.” 

“No, you’re the one who needs to get a grip, Alice. Even if we’re talking about elite demons or whatever, a tranquilizer gun would be the ultimate weapon, but I’ve never tried using a weapon like that, have I?” 

“……I guess you can use your head a little when it comes to battle. I figured the reason you didn’t use sleeping gas or tranquilizers was because we hadn’t confirmed if Earth-derived chemicals would work on this planet’s creatures.” 

Still, depending on the game, certain status effects can work on boss monsters. 

Before charging in with my R-Buzzsaw, I can just wait until the Sand King eats the bait. At least then, we’ll know if it’ll even work or not. 

“…Huh. It sniffed at the bait, but it doesn’t look like it’s going for it. See? It’s a boss immunity! This is probably why status effects don’t work in video games!” 

“Don’t be ridiculous. I picked chemicals with no flavor or scent… Wait a sec. I included worms and bugs into the mix because it’s a mole, but…” 

The Sand King turns up its nose at the offered bait, approaches a nearby Combat Agent, and… 

Chomp. 

“Gyaaaaaaah! My anti-materiel rifle! …Th-this thing’s not looking at the bait. It’s looking at me…” 

The Combat Agent shoved his anti-materiel rifle forward when he dodged the Sand King’s attack, resulting in the mole munching on that instead. 

The Sand King chews for a moment before spitting something onto the ground. 

The agents all fall silent at the sight of the small lump of steel that used to be a gun. 

“…Well, given its size, I guess there’s no reason for it to fixate on small insects. If it can eat bugs, then it can eat other living creatures. Given that it didn’t hesitate to snap at the agent, it must already have a taste for people,” says Alice. 

“Why are you so damn calm?! That thing might look cute, but it’s super dangerous!” 

I draw my R-Buzzsaw while admonishing Alice’s trademark apathy. 

“Let’s go. I’ll draw its attention, so give it a good slashing! Everyone, ready your R-Buzzsaws!” 

Taking the lead as this planet’s manager, I dash off toward the Sand King. 

…Chaaaarge!