6
We follow Viper into the dungeon, where Rose makes an odd observation.
“…Huh, this place looks familiar for some reason…”
She then looks around curiously before wandering off into a random room.
“…Hey, Ms. Demon Lord, is it fine for her to just wander around like that?”
“Yes, it’s not a problem. After all, wasn’t her goal to investigate this area?”
Rose’s sudden behavior sort of bothers me, but if Viper doesn’t have a problem with it, then I guess I’ll just let her do her thing.
Anyway, Heine comes first. I need to see her and ask her just what’s going on…
I suddenly feel someone’s gaze on me, so I about-face and lock eyes with a flustered Heine. She’s imprisoned in a spotless jail cell.
She’s sitting in the middle of the cell with her knees cradled against her chest. She freezes in place and stares at us.
I point to Heine and—
“Look at that! One of the Demon Lord’s Elite Four is locked in a cell! Wow, how embarrassing! Bah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! That’s rich! Ah-ha-ha-ha!”
“S-Six, you bastard! Stop laughing! Who do you think is responsible for the situation I’m in?!”
“Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Good job, Six! Keep taunting her! That bitch melted one of my magic swords! You there, guard, do you have anything long and pointy? Like a stick, perhaps? I want to poke her through the bars!”
As Snow and I mock her, Heine grabs hold of the iron bars of her cell and yells back at us, but it seems her sorcerer stone has been taken from her, leaving her unable to summon her flames.
I move close enough so that I’m just out of reach from the opposite side of the bars.
“Hey now, you shouldn’t blame other people for your problems. What wrong? Are you grumpy because they don’t feed you anything tasty down here? Here, have everyone’s favorite snack, Calorie-Z!”
“S-screw you! I don’t need your charity…… You asshole! If you’re gonna hand it over, then hand it over! Stop teasing me! I’ll kill you!”
<<Evil Points Acquired. Evil Points Acquired.>>
As I wave the calorie bar around just out of Heine’s reach, Viper places her hand on my shoulder.
“I understand you harbor hatred toward Heine for killing many of your kingdom’s soldiers. However, she was only following the orders of her country. Please…”
I guess, to Viper, it looked like I was trying to get revenge for my fallen comrades.
To be honest, I just really, really like teasing Heine. However…
“Your Majesty, you’re giving him too much credit! That bastard just gets off on making me miserable!!”
“…Is that so?”
At Viper’s inquisitive look, I shake my head with a solemn expression.
“No, Heine has killed scores of our comrades. This is to avenge their deaths. Snow, pass me the stick. This is for the goldfish that died because I forgot to feed it! And this is for Koromaru, who ran off when his leash broke during a walk! And this is for having the mokemoke I’d befriended slaughtered right before my eyes!”
“Stop it! Stop poking me! I had nothing to do with your goldfish or your mokemoke friend! And who the hell is Koromaru?!”
<<Evil points Acquired. Evil points Acquired.>>
After poking Heine to my heart’s content, I finally ask her the question that’s been on my mind since I got here.
“So why are you locked up anyway?”
“That should’ve been the first thing you asked! I stand accused of conspiring against the country! Remember how your boss bombed the towers maintaining the barrier?! It turns out that for some reason, His Majesty, Mehlmehl, was in one of them!”
…
“Oh shit… What’re we gonna do, Alice? Our useless boss did it again! The whole succession is our fault!”
“Calm down, Six. It’s too soon to panic. First, we should check on the safety of the previous Demon Lord.”
I regain my composure after hearing Alice’s calm rationale.
Yes, she’s right. After all, this is a Demon Lord we’re talking about. He wouldn’t die that easily…
“My father, the previous Demon Lord, stated he was going to conduct maintenance on the shield before the enemy arrived, then went to one of the towers. A while later, that tower suddenly exploded, and when I arrived on the scene, I found my father’s body—”
“Shit, shit, shit! We really did it this time, Alice! We killed her dad!”
“Calm down, Six. This is where we pin the blame on them instead. Heine, we’ll blame it on Heine. We did check with her, after all, if there was anyone in the towers.”
I follow Alice’s suggestion and turn my ire on Heine.
“Hey, Heine! You swore there was no one near the towers!”
“I did! But—but…usually, those towers are off-limits to anyone but the Demon Lord, so there’s almost never anyone there! And Lord Mehlmehl’s ‘may-te-nants’ ritual only takes place about once a year! I didn’t think it could… Oh, I didn’t…”
Damn it all. Just when I thought Heine had done something useful, she totally fails to stick the landing.
And for that matter, what the hell, Mehlmehl? Who just takes a midnight stroll to a fortress tower?
“…Ah, wait a second! Then what about Rose? We agreed to the cease-fire because the Demon Lord was supposed to know a lot about Chimeras and the mystery labs! This means we wasted our time coming here!”
“D-don’t blame me! You’re the ones who killed Lord Mehlmehl! He did know a lot about Chimeras… W-we should call this a draw…”
She’s got some nerve.
Still, at least I know why Heine’s locked up.
“…So what happens to you now? I mean, you helped kill the Demon Lord, right? We’re the enemy, so it’s no skin off our noses, but in your case, that’s treason of the worst kind, isn’t it?”
“Wha—?! B-but I…”
Yes, we executed the bombing operation because she insisted there was no one near the towers.
Which means she’s the one most at fault.
Listening to our exchange, Viper looks sorrowfully at Heine.
“Ordinarily, execution would be unavoidable, but given Heine’s long service as one of the Elite Four, her punishment might be reduced to enslavement if she’s lucky…”
“E-execution or enslavement…? Oh no, no, no…”
Based on Heine’s cry of despair, enslavement must be a punishment nearly as undesirable as death.
That reminds me. Even though we lost our primary lead regarding info about Rose’s past, we still have other demands.
I’ve also been hounding Heine for a while now. Maybe I should offer her a little mercy…
“Hey, Alice, in addition to getting information on Rose’s origins, we had another demand for them, didn’t we?”
“About paying us reparations for peace… Yeah, fine, do what you want.”
After checking with Alice, it seems she’s caught my drift.
“Ms. Demon Lord, Ms. Demon Lord, give Heine to us. In exchange, we’ll give you a discount on the reparations.”
“HUH?!”
Heine lets out a cry of surprise at the proposal.
She definitely wasn’t expecting me, her enemy, to bail her out.
Yesterday’s enemy can be today’s friend. Besides, I’m not about to let such perfect boobs go to waste.
Alice looks over Heine as though sizing her up and nods a few times.
“Yes, let’s go with Six’s proposal. I don’t know what enslavement entails, but if you have no need for her, give her to us. We’ll work her to the bone and pay her next to nothing.”
“That’s precisely what enslavement is! Please rethink this, Your Majesty! I can still serve!”
In spite of my gallant attempt to save her, Heine looks tearfully at Viper.
Viper strokes her chin in thought.
“…Very well, we will relinquish Heine to you.”
“Your Majestyyyyy!”
As Heine grabs the bars of her jail cell and sobs, Snow points and laughs.
“Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! How fitting, Heine of the Flames! A member of the Demon Lord’s Elite Four falling to the position of a slave! That more than makes up for all that you’ve done to me thus far! And now you’re going to be Six’s slave! I have no doubt that your life is going to be miserable!”
That’s a hell of a thing to say.
“Stop making it sound like I’m going to do something awful to her. I mean, if things continue along this route, Heine might be executed or forced to do pervy things for her former subordinates! If anything, she should be thanking me for helping her!”
“Oh, no, those sentenced to enslavement become vassals of the country and are therefore valuable public property, so they’re usually safe from harm…”
At Viper’s interjection, Heine nods intently and turns to the nearby jailor.
“That’s right! You might have intended to help me, but you’ve probably just made things worse! Besides, my subordinates respect me, so they wouldn’t make me do pervy things! Right? You wouldn’t do that to me, would you?”
The orc guard pauses a moment to consider before saying:
“Huh? Uh, yeah! Yes, of course! …Um, is having you wash my back considered pervy? I mean! You wouldn’t have to be naked to do that! I’d be the only one fully naked…”
“Y-you…”
As Heine recoils, Viper bows her head to me.
“Mr. Six, please take care of Heine. She’s quite capable. I have no doubt that she’ll be very useful to the kingdom of Grace.”
“Y-Your Majesty?! I—I would prefer to be enslaved in this country!”
At Heine’s half sobbed appeal, Viper smiles a thin, sad smile and murmurs an apology.
“I said you would be enslaved ‘if you’re lucky.’ If you’re court-martialed, the chances of you being executed are much higher. I won’t leave you to suffer alone, however. I shall enter Mr. Six’s service alongside you.”
“Y-Your Majesty?!”
Heine grabs the bars in shock at Viper’s surprise revelation.
“What are you thinking, Your Majesty?! Please don’t do anything foolish. Surely, you recall just how dangerous and cruel this man is from my warnings!”
Well, that’s some nerve considering I’m standing right here.
But I wonder what the Demon Lord joining our side even means.
“This is because you warned me about him so extensively. If I, the Demon Lord, go to face my fate at the hands of a man like that, no doubt the humans victimized by the war will feel some satisfaction.”
Y’know, describing time with me as an awful punishment hurts my feelings a little…
“You two seem to have some interesting ideas about me. Since you’re so insistent, I might as well indulge those thoughts of yours…”
“Oh! N-no, you’re wrong! I do think you’re a good guy deep down! You tried to save me from being executed, after all! I really do appreciate it! H-honest!”
Heine seems to have finally figured out her situation, but it’s way too late.
She’ll have to content herself with becoming a good source of Evil Points…!
“Very well. You may do whatever you wish with me.”
“Your Majesty!”
Viper’s commitment causes Heine let out a cry of despair.
“…So, uh, this means you’ll be accepting the cease-fire, right? And that you’ll be coming over as hostages for the duration?”
I mean, even I’m not gonna do terrible things to hostages.
If anything, having her say this stuff so bluntly makes it hard to…
“No, we’re not accepting a cease-fire.”
…Huh?
“The Demon Lord’s Army no longer has the strength to fight. Now that we’ve lost the previous Demon Lord and most of the Elite Four, if the war persists, it will spell the slow and agonizing end of all demonkind. For that reason, the Demon Lord’s Army hereby offers its unconditional surrender to the kingdom of Grace and the Kisaragi Corporation. And then…”
After saying all that in a single breath, Viper pauses to gather herself…
“…and then, once all is said and done, I would like you to execute me in the Grace Kingdom.”
She said this with a resolute gaze. Her expression contained all the grace and authority of a true Demon Lord.
[Status Report]
Dear Supreme Leaders,
When last we spoke, we saw over the monitor that Lady Lilith was all tied up. How’s she doing now?
Without further ado, I’ll give my report on our current situation.
So……the Demon Lord’s dead.
It looks like he was caught up in the bombing operation executed by Lady Lilith.
Thanks to that, our investigations into our new agent Rose’s origins have hit a dead end.
A member of the enemy leadership, Heine of the Flames, has been made a slave for her part in the incident.
The Demon Lord, who ordinarily would have died in an epic battle with the Chosen One, ended up getting killed off-screen by a bombardment Lady Lilith fired while picking her nose.
The situation is now much more complicated thanks to her, so please make sure her punishment is thorough.
With the situation as it is, I won’t be coming back to Earth for a while longer.
—P.S. I would like to extend my thanks to Lady Lilith for effectively increasing the number of women working with me.
Reporting Agent:
Combat Agent Six
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