Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 4 - Chapter Ep

Epilogue 

In the room housing the giant teleporter at the Kisaragi Corporation’s headquarters. 

Usually, a small group of administrative staff would be on hand to fulfill resource requests from agents dispatched to the corners of this world and beyond. Today, though, the atmosphere is different. 

Two of the Supreme Leaders of the organization wait impatiently for their colleague, Lilith the Black, to return from her assignment on the alien planet, temporarily code-named Second Earth. 

Electricity suddenly sparks through the teleporter’s glass booth. 

Then, with neither a glittering magic circle nor a bright flash of light… 

…Lilith appears in front of her colleagues, a backpack on her shoulders and a happy smile on her face. 

Catching a glimpse of the two, Lilith makes no attempt to conceal her good mood, practically skipping as she exits the teleporter. 

“Hey, guys, I’m back! Wow, coming to welcome me home, huh? Tsk, don’t you two have work you should be doing? Well, but I suppose we’ve known one another since we founded this enterprise, and this was the first time we’ve been apart so long… I guess we can let that go just this once!” 

Completely misreading the room, Lilith breezily unslings her pack, dropping it with a thud to the floor. 

“Ta-daa! See what I’ve got here? Jewels and gold coins from the other side. You know, when I first met her, I thought she was an evil, scheming bitch of a royal, but Princess Tillis of Grace is a brilliant leader! When she realized just how much I’d accomplished, she piled up the rewards for me. Not to sound like Six, but it almost makes me want to go native!” 

Oblivious to Astaroth’s chilly gaze, Lilith continues droning on. 

“It’s such a pity you guys missed my performance. Have you read Six and Alice’s reports yet? I actually wanted to discuss them with you…” 

“Lilith.” 

Astaroth’s sudden interruption locks Lilith in place, the little scientist failing to suppress an involuntary shudder. 

“…U-um, yes? Wh-what’s with the look? Y-you’re starting to scare me a little. Wh-while you’re at it, could you cut it out with the freezing? It’s creepy, and it’s getting really, really cold…” 

Lilith backs away fearfully, shielding the pack behind her back. 

…Belial chooses that moment to approach, wrapping her arm around the cowering Lilith’s shoulder. 

“Welcome home, Lilith. You really enjoyed yourself over there, mm?” 

“Hey, Belial! Yep, it was a lot of fun! First thing I ran into over there was this giant lizard. It was no match for me, of course! And THEN it turns out that lizard’s lair was this ancient ruin, and… O-ow! That’s hot!” 

A sharp cry of pain erupts from Lilith midspiel. 

Belial’s bright-red hair ripples like flame, as though expressing her current frame of mind. 

Lilith tries to peel Belial’s hand off her shoulder but is thwarted by the unexpected strength of her comrade’s grip. 

“H-hey, Belial, this is getting a little stuffy! Did you miss me that much?! I’ve heard of warm welcomes, but this is way over the top! It’s sweltering… Ow! That’s way too hot! You’re going to burn me! Step off… Dammit, get away from me!” 

Reaching her limit, Lilith tries to use her tentacles to get some distance, but Belial calmly steps away. 

Astaroth chuckles drily watching Lilith’s antics. 

“Heh. Now, now, Lilith, you just can’t seem to stay still, can you? Complaining about the cold, then the heat. Can’t make up your mind?” 

“Room temperature would be great! Just normal room temperature, please! What the hell’s gotten into you two? Why are you in such a pissy mood?!” 

Astaroth, her lips quirked in a creepily thin smile, slowly closes her eyes. 

“Surely, you can figure that out on your own. Place your hand against that flat little chest of yours and think carefully.” 

Lilith responds by doing exactly as suggested, placing her palm against her chest. 

“…The only thing that comes to mind is that my breasts are perfectly shaped and proportionate—a work of art, even…” 

“Yo, Astaroth, looks like she’s not getting it.” 

“Indeed. In fact, she seems quite smug.” 

Lilith’s comeback appears to have flipped a switch in her sister Supreme Leaders. 

“Wh-what? What the hell is wrong with you guys…?! …Aha! I got it. Souvenirs. You want your souvenirs, right? Oh, you’re so materialistic. Just so we’re clear, I earned all this with my hard work, so I’m doing you two a favor by splitting it with you, okay? Just make sure you show me some respect.” 

With that, Lilith softly places a single jewel into each of their hands. 

…And in the blink of an eye, the blue gem in Astaroth’s palm is coated in frost before shattering, while the red jewel in Belial’s hand is engulfed in flame, melting away. 

“Why’d you do that?! You saw the colors of those gems, right? I chose those two specifically because they were your favorite colors! How could you?! This is how you repay me for all my efforts over there? Now I’m upset! Get lost; I don’t want to see your faces today! I mean, sure, those were cheap rocks I was planning to toss, but still! Now I’m just going to…” 

…head home. 

The words die in Lilith’s mouth as Astaroth and Belial grab her shoulders, holding her in place. 

“Souvenirs and jewels are irrelevant. So I’ll ask one more time, Lilith. What exactly did you get up to over there? Did you enjoy yourself ?” 

“Of course I did! I’m sorry, okay? You’re upset I got to have Six to myself for a while, right? But you’re blaming the wrong person. After all, Six is the one who picked me out of us three, remember?” 

Astaroth’s eyebrow twitches as Lilith needlessly pours oil on the fire. 

“Oh, don’t be silly, Lilith. I wouldn’t be angry about such a petty thing.” 

“For real? I remember watching your brow twitch each time Alice sent a video of Six and Lilith having fun.” 

“Oh, don’t be silly, Lilith. I wouldn’t be angry about such a petty thing.” 

Pretending not to hear Belial, Astaroth repeats herself. 

“You forgot what you were sent over there to do, didn’t you?” 

…The room goes silent at the accusation. 

“…Whoa, whoa, hold on, Astaroth. What’s that supposed to mean? I made a big splash over there. I fought all sorts of monsters, like the lord of the ancient ruins guarding the Cursed Forest, and this bothersome creature called the Mud King, and even the grand Lord of the Skies… And of course, at the end, confronting our competitors, I…” 

“You came home without finishing off the competition.” 

… 

“You’ve got it all wrong.” 

“These reports say you fought a giant lizard, a ball of slime, and a sparrow, then shut yourself in after a pretty cosplayer scared the crap out of you.” 

Lilith’s expression freezes as Belial reads off a sheet of paper. 

“That’s not true! Well, okay, that’s pretty much true, but it’s wrong! The giant lizard was actually a huge robot, and the blob of slime was big enough to fill up the entire space beneath the country! And while fighting a sparrow sounds ridiculous, it was really, really big! In fact, it’s a sparrow that feeds on monsters in the sky! It wasn’t your average, everyday sparrow. It’s a really impressive specimen that rivaled the pet I used to keep! And that wasn’t a cosplayer; she was an angel! An ANGEL! You could tell she was trouble from a single glance! And I didn’t run away and come home…” 

Sensing she’s in trouble, Lilith starts vomiting up excuses at a rapid clip. 

In response, Belial produces another sheet of paper and begins reading. 

“…It says here you stared at a cross-dresser’s penis?” 

“…I mean, if I had to say whether I did or not, then yes, I did, but so what?! I thought he was the female Chimera from the reports! But he turned out to be a boy!” 

Lilith puts up a thin defense, prompting the pair to render judgment in unison: 

““Guilty.”” 

At that, Lilith pushes away the hands on her shoulders, clutching the bag she’d been shielding against her chest to make her escape…! 

“Blocked!” 

Spouting a line from a popular RPG, Belial quickly obstructs Lilith’s path. 

Seeing her escape thwarted, Lilith’s face twitches into a grimace, as a smiling Astaroth quickly approaches from behind… 

“Your mission was to crush the competition and bring Six home. No one sent you over there to go sightseeing. And these souvenirs? You’re just trying to win us over after failing your primary objective.” 

“Heh-heh, hand over the goods, little girl. Oh? Think you’re making it out of here? Tch, taking a vacation and leaving all the work to us… Your cheeks are all smooth!” 

Belial to the front of her. Astaroth to the back of her. 

Surrounded by Kisaragi’s Supreme Leaders, the useless one of their number, who still has a faint whiff of naïveté to her, stands staring into the mouth of death… 

“D-damn you! Trying to rob me of my hard-earned loot on a technicality?! How evil! I’m impressed! …But c’mon, admit it; you’re both just jealous. You’re jealous of the fact that Six likes me and chose me out of all of us! Yeah, I’ll admit it! I had all sorts of fun over there with Six! We explored a mysterious new world and had a blast doing it! If you miss Six that much, you ought to be more honest with yourselves and go see him! If you want this treasure, you’ll have to act like proper villains and take it from me! Jerks! Dummies!” 

As Lilith abandons any pretense and fires back, the veins on Astaroth’s and Belial’s foreheads bulge into view. 

Lilith wraps her arms in a death grip around her backpack, then unleashes all her tentacles…! 

“Come at me, you villains! I’m Lilith the Black, Scourge of the Demon Lord!!” 

Lilith’s cry echoes throughout the halls of the Kisaragi Corporation’s headquarters.