4
Three hours after we start drilling the well.
“Lady Lilith, there’s no water coming out, the crowd left, and I’m getting bored.”
“This is really odd, given that we’re using a super-high-tech Kisaragi drill. Well, in theory, if we keep digging and digging, something’ll come out eventually. Let’s just leave it running on autopilot.”
It’s an incredibly expensive piece of equipment that no Combat Agent would have the Evil Points to requisition, but a Supreme Leader like Lilith can just leave it running.
As I’m watching the drilling, Snow comes by and asks:
“Hey, Six, are you sure this’ll actually produce water? If so, I’m thinking of borrowing some money and buying up the land around here.”
Water in this kingdom is precious.
If the well starts producing again, the surrounding land is going to shoot up in value.
That’s definitely true, but…
“Far be it from me to mention, but lately, there’s been no trace of chivalry to your actions. What happened to the proud knight I first met?”
“Quiet, Six. Knights have to eat and put clothes on their backs. I need money to survive. I don’t want to hear it from someone who’s getting an allowance from Alice.”
Lilith watches our exchange and chuckles.
“You know, despite it all, you two seem pretty close. Heh-heh, Six, shouldn’t you be more careful? If Astaroth sees you like this…”
She snickers teasingly.
“Can you knock it off, Lady Lilith? We’re really not like that. Not with this one.”
“On this, we agree. I’d prefer someone with money.”
“I—I see… Sorry about that. I didn’t expect you two to so vigorously deny it… Anyway, let’s leave the rest to the drill, and—”
I interrupt Lilith before she can finish.
“Hey, Snow, next! C’mon, next! I’m pretty good at solving problems in developing countries. After water, we need to deal with food! With Lilith’s brains, we can do a tech transfer to get you all the food you could possibly need! Viva la Lilithification!”
“H-hold on!”
Despite Lilith looking like she wants to say something, we drag her along to our next destination…
“This is our kingdom’s farming facility.”
The two of us look up at the building.
“Lady Lilith. This just looks like a normal factory to me.”
“Yes, Six, this is, indeed, a factory.”
It’s a modern building that looks completely out of place on a fantasy world.
In stark contrast to its surroundings sits a concrete factory that wouldn’t be out of place in Japan.
“What do we do, Lady Lilith? Factory farming? Only a handful of places do that on Earth. I don’t think Lilithification is gonna work here.”
“W-well, hold on, Six. It’s too early to panic. Let’s take a look inside and see if they’re actually doing hydroponics here.”
Lilith suggests this with naked confusion before stepping foot into the factory.
“Huh…? What the hell is this…?” mutters Lilith, in a daze as she peeks inside. I follow her into the building.
“…Lady Lilith, I have to admit I underestimated the bastards of this kingdom. They’re more ruthless than I thought.”
“Yeah, I thought they were better people until I saw this…”
It’s closer to a forced-labor camp than a factory.
Inside, orcs and other humanoid creatures are working farm plots.
Above the plots float mysterious objects, which resemble fireflies and emit a bright light, illuminating the enclosed factory space.
“Snow, get your ass over here.”
“Six, it’s slavery. Fantasy is scary. Developing countries are super scary. Prisoners have no rights here…”
Snow looks puzzled that we’re taken aback.
“What? Your farms don’t make use of livestock?”
“Lady Lilith, she just called them livestock.”
“Well, sure, we used to employ beasts of burden back in the day for hard labor and stuff…but humanoids? No, nothing like that. We used horses and cows for plowing fields, but this sort of thing is generally frowned upon…”
Japan had a slavery system for farming back in the Warring States period, and given the level of culture and technology here, I suppose slaves and serfs were to be expected, but…
“I don’t know what hang-ups you’re having, but this is a mutually beneficial and highly efficient system. We capture relatively tame wild orcs who can’t survive on their own, protect them, and provide them with food in exchange for working our fields. Once they reach the end of their life spans, we show our appreciation by eating them. Seems like a very rational system if you ask me…”
“This is evil, Six. Pure evil. She just said they exploit their labor and then eat them when they die… They eat humanoids!”
Despite being a Supreme Leader, Lilith’s a bit of a lightweight who’s now recoiling from Snow.
“Yep, they eat those humanoid monsters. And did you know they can even speak our languages?”
“Pure evil. Six, this is pure, depraved evil!”
We reel from the realization that this kingdom’s farming system is so ruthlessly efficient that it puts an evil organization to shame. Snow tilts her head and quips:
“You did the same thing, yes? Aside from the fact that they resemble humans and can speak, what’s the difference? Here, in this otherwise dangerous world, they can live lives of relative peace. In exchange, we get labor and meat. It’s the whole WIN-WIN situation you two are so fond of.”
“Yeah…that’s not quite it…”
“They’re your farming companions, yet you eat them in the end? I don’t get that part. Not one bit.”
This must be the difference between civilized people and barbarians.
“Your country must be extremely peaceful and rich in food…”
I mean, the orcs don’t exactly look oppressed.
Ethics aside, it’s certainly rational…
…Lilith points at one of the lights as if to change the subject.
“What are those floating things? They’re too big and too bright to be fireflies. I mean, they’re bright enough to raise crops.”
Guess her curiosity as a scientist is overriding her other instincts.
“Oh, those are fairies.”
““Fairies…””
Hearing Snow’s serious tone, we repeat the word in unison.
“Yes, fairies. They’re tame creatures that can’t survive without clean water, so in this region, where water is scarce, they’re having quite the tough time. We have them live inside our factory so that they can shine their lights. This allows us to grow vegetables year-round.”
Upon closer inspection, we notice faint humanoid shapes within the intense lights.
These bastards… If they can find a use for them, they’ll even exploit adorable creatures.
I’m starting to think Kisaragi’s the model of corporate social responsibility.
“…Wait, why are you so fixated on farming indoors? Sure, the sun’s a little strong, but you have plenty of land. Wouldn’t it be better to farm outside?”
“…? Are the farms of your home world not plagued by flying monsters?”
Oh yeah, this is a fantasy world.
Yeah, if a giant flying monster like a griffin landed on a farm, the crops wouldn’t last very long.
“You know, this planet’s pretty harsh… There are obviously upsides to conquering it, but…”
“Doing something about that is your job, Lady Lilith. You can Lilithificate things by teaching them how to deal with flying pests.”
Although crows are the worst of the airborne scourges in Japan, I constantly catch glimpses of things like wyverns on this planet.
An antipest net won’t do much good against those.
“…Wellll, all right. We could try surrounding the farms with giant cages. No, no, that’s not much different from the factory-farming system they’ve got now… Do we exterminate the flying vermin? …Given that we’re already struggling with the monsters in the woods, that’s not going to be easy…”
Lilith folds her arms against her chest, muttering to herself in thought.
Still, the only thing I can think of is to put automated antiair gun turrets in the middle of the farm.
Let’s leave the thinking to the smart people…
“Pesticides! Pesticides are the answer, Six! Let’s scatter some powerful pesticides and grow crops that the monsters can’t eat! It’s perfect. I’ve got a fantastic pesticide I developed a long time ago. It was so strong, it’d even kill people. Monsters stand no chance against it!”
“Okay, Lady Lilith, now I’m sure you’re just plain crazy.”
I mean, all she needs to do is drive away the pests, not kill them.
…Oh, wait!
“I know! Lady Lilith, I have a great idea! Pee! Pee is the key! You’re ultra-powerful, Lady Lilith, so give me some of your pee!”
“I’m sorry, what? If you take one more step in my direction, I will shoot you.”
Seems even with her genius intellect, Lilith can’t quite comprehend the pee solution.
“Why are you being so difficult, Lady Lilith…? If you’re opposed to it, I’ll go ask for Tiger Man’s pee instead.”
“I’m so sorry, Six. It seems you need some rest. You should take a vacation to somewhere like Hokkaido. Rest up in the great outdoors and come back refreshed in body and soul.”
As Lilith stares at me with eyes full of genuine pity, I explain myself.
“…I see you’re getting involved in nonsense as usual. I mean, how the hell did you even convince Tiger Man to cooperate?”
Hey now, no need to look at me like I’m stupid.
“He made a fuss about it, so I told him it was under your orders.”
“And you wonder why my reputation is so bad! It’s all your fault! Also, the reason Tiger Man’s urine works is because its properties instinctively incite fear on a bestial level, like territorial marking. Mine wouldn’t have the same effect.”
Lilith glares suspiciously at me as she backs away.
“Well, we won’t know for sure until we try. Only losers never try.”
“Shut up! Why do you only get motivated over weird things like this? That’s not your character type! Also, I’m totally telling Astaroth about this.”
Snow seems a little put off by our discussion, but then she grows contemplative.
“…Well, the suggestion sounds like the ramblings of a moron, but it might be worth a try.”
“I thought the only idiots on this rock were our Combat Agents, but I guess I was wrong. I swear, everyone around me is a hopeless moron!”
“Since even Snow is suggesting we try it, why not just take one for the team, Lady Lilith? We’ll look the other way.”
Lilith’s tentacles writhe beneath her lab coat as she tries to intimidate me.
“No, the idea I said was worth trying is using the waste of powerful monsters.”
Lilith and I just exchange a glance after hearing Snow’s calm explanation.
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