Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 3 - Chapter 5.7

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Opening the main gate and looking inside, there are two stuffed animals duking it out.

“Hey.”

“N-n-no, I was keeping a proper watch!” Snow protests. “They must have gotten in from somewhere else! …But this castle’s surrounded by an outer wall; I wonder how they got in…”

That jogs my memory.

I drove stakes into the outer wall to sneak into Tillis’s room.

Oh yeah, I forgot to retrieve those.

“Tsk, how do you plan to fix this, Snow? You can’t keep the peace in the city with the knights; you let an intruder waltz into the castle…”

“Hold on, Grimm; leave it there. Now’s not the time to point out Snow’s failures. We should do something about those two stuffed animals going at it.” A reasonable point, if I do say so myself.

Grimm and Snow are instantly suspicious.

“Are you involved with this, too?”

“Explain this later, okay, Commander?”

“But I haven’t said anything yet.” I ignore the questioning gazes from the pair and take a closer look at the dolls.

The first is a cat-shaped stuffed animal holding a unique metal club. That one’s probably Gadalkand.

The problem is the other doll that’s facing him.

I could swear I’ve seen that dog-shaped doll before…

“Oh! Say, Commander, isn’t that Patrasche?!”

That’s right—that’s Patrasche!

For some reason, Patrasche is here. Maybe its owner, the old man, ordered Patrasche to save the city?

“Six, who is this Patrasche?”

“Patrasche is Patrasche—the Mounting Gorilla Patrasche, to be precise!”

“Wh-what was she thinking…?”

The stalemate between Patrasche and Gadalkand ends when Patraches notices us and aggressively charges in. Maybe it thinks it can leave things up to us if it loses.

A tackle aimed low takes out Gadalkand’s legs.

Patrasche then swiftly straddles the enemy, landing punches without any hesitation.

“Good work, Patrasche! Keep it up!”

“Try to get it into a hold! Then you can leave the rest to me!”

“Again, who the hell is Patrasche?”

As we cheer on from the sidelines, Patrasche casts a quick glance our way.

It seems like a glance for help, even…

Just then, Gadalkand lets go of his long club, instead punching at his assailant.

Gadalkand doesn’t seem to have suffered any damage from all the blows, and a realization hits me.

“Oh, duh, there’s no way punches would work. His body is just a stuffed animal!”

“Oh, right! Rose, we’re coming!”

We had decided to kick back and take it easy since it looked like Patrasche was winning, but we now hurry over to the dog doll.

“Rose?! Why are you bringing up her name all of a sudden?!”

Snow, who is the only one who doesn’t understand what’s going on, follows along as well.

<Graaaaaaaaah!>

“?!”

Patrasche takes a heavy kick to the stomach that launches it quite some distance.

“Hey, Rose, you don’t have to be Patrasche anymore! If it hurts, you can say so!”

“Th-that hurts…! He kicked me really hard; just what is that thing?”

Patrasche, aka Rose, holds her stomach while getting to her feet.

Snow sees her moment and steps in.

“I have no idea why Rose is here dressed like that, but if the enemy’s a flammable stuffed animal, it’s time for me to offer my assistance.”

Snow’s guard comes all the way down, now assuming the enemy is a mere stuffed animal.

Dropping into a fighting stance as flames burst forth from Flame Whatever, Snow cries out with all the bravado of a real hero, “I have no idea who or what you are, but you’ll have plenty of time to regret crossing my path in the afterlife!”

“That’s Gadalkand in there. The elite demon Gadalkand. The one Rose and Grimm fought before. He’s back from the afterlife.”

Snow freezes without a word.

<Ga-ha-ha, ba-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Yo, long time no see, you maggots. Glad to see so many familiar faces!>

Picking up the club from the ground, Gadalkand starts talking to us with his annoying telepathy.

Finally figuring out the identity of her opponent, Snow breaks out in a cold sweat and starts backing away.

Meanwhile, I take a step out in front of the others as they stand on guard. “Hey, hey, hey, that’s quite the makeover you’ve gotten, Gadalk-whatever! I think this is a big improvement from before! I bet your old form had women running away screaming! At least now they might talk to you!”

Gadalkand twitches when he hears my taunts.

I know his type.

Cocky, arrogant, short-tempered, and violent.

It’s a classic thug personality that’s pretty common among Kisaragi’s ranks.

<…And whose fault is it that I look like this, huh? I’ve been waiting. It’s been a long, long wait! I spent each and every moment thinking of how I’d get my revenge on you—on all of you! If not for the Undead Festival, I might have lost my identity. But I’m lucky. I got back to the world of the living through the festival, and I’ve acquired this body and new powers…>

“You’re pretty chatty, aren’t you? You used to be a bit more of the type who wouldn’t listen to what others had to say.”

Gadalkand goes silent at my additional teasing. The club in his hand is quivering now; I’m guessing he’s trying to rein in his anger and regain his calm.

<…Heh. Heh-heh. Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, is this how you’re trying to buy time? You think there’s help on the way? Is that the plan?>

Whoa, he’s suddenly gotten really cocky.

“Okay, you’re clearly plotting something. I’ll bet it’s one of two clichés. Either you’ve got an ace up your sleeve, like reinforcements on the way, or you’re not at full power yet and you have another transformation in the pocket. So which is it? I’m sure one of those is right. If not, then I can at least give you credit for originality.”

Looks like I struck a nerve, and Gadalkand stops moving for a moment.

<…I’ll wipe that smirk off your face soon enough.>

“Hey, look—I got it right! He’s panicking! Well, damn, it’s just another cliché. How disappointing. You’re such a letdown!”

He’s not the sort that’s good at resisting taunts.

As I wind him up, Gadalkand starts losing his cool, just as I’d hoped.

“You know, Commander, I’m not sure taunting him too much is a good idea… Still, rest assured. I’m an undead specialist. If he tries to summon more undead, I’ll stop him this time.”

“All right, I’ll leave that to you. So all I gotta do is put down this weakling.”

Inspired by Grimm, Rose and Snow also take a step forward.

“Boss, leave brawling to me. I can’t breathe any fire since I’m wearing a costume, but I can at least block attacks!”

“I’ll keep an eye on the overall situation and stand ready to order a retreat at any moment.”

It appears a certain someone has lost their nerve. Oh well.

Losing patience, Gadalkand begins moving his club from side to side.

“Hmm, yeah, guess you’re right. And you were the one who got slaughtered by me, the one commanding these weaklings. They’re all somewhat capable of holding their own against me. Unlike you. You went down without much of a fight at all… Huh! Guess that makes you the weakest of the bunch, huh? You’re even weaker than my underlings!”

Seemingly near his limit, Gadalkand moves into a fighting stance.

“Oh, gonna come at me? There’s four of us and only one of you. Not to mention you’re a stuffed animal, while we have Snow’s magic sword. Plus, we’re just here to buy time, with the folks who heard Alice’s announcement coming to reinforce us. If you’re fine with all that, come on and try it. You sure you don’t want to run away? Huh? Huh?”

As I continue taunting him, Snow mutters from behind me, “I really am impressed by your ability to taunt people. There are even times I feel sorry for your victims…”

It’s not like I’m taunting him for the hell of it.

Sure, there’s a good part of me that’s doing it because it’s fun, but the objective is to make Gadalkand lose his head.

What we can’t afford right now is for him to abandon the doll and run.

If he returns to being a spirit and gets another body, we won’t be able to tell who he is with a glance. We need to capture him somehow and conduct the exorcism while he’s still trapped in the cat doll…

Gadalkand starts muttering to himself.

But before I can ask For what? I hear the sound of a breaking window, and a scream comes from somewhere in the castle.

His objective is to retrieve his severed head.

Which means this scream is—

“Look, Six! That’s not an undead; it’s a demon! It’s one of his lackeys!”

It’s one of the demons that was flying around last time I fought Gadalkand.

Demonic statues that walk on two feet and have giant bat-like wings—commonly known as gargoyles. One of them is hovering above us, cradling something.

Seeing that, Gadalkand starts running in that direction, immediately losing interest in everything else.

As Gadalkand shows his back, Snow slashes at him without any hesitation.

“G-grrr, I won’t let you do this, you walking payday! It’s time for a rematch! Take this!”

As usual, I’m impressed by her skill in sneak attacks. The fact that she waits to deliver her line after her attack is worth a lot of praise.

“Damn you! Look at me, Gadalkand!”

Snow drives her flaming blade into the doll’s stomach, but Gadalkand pays no attention to it, reaching his hand out toward the ground.

“I, Lord Zenarith’s archbishop, Grimm Grimoire command you.”

Gadalkand briefly casts a baleful glance at Grimm.

<Rise, damn you!>

“Return to your slumber!”

The two shout at the same time, and nothing happens.

“Lord Gadalkand, I’ll set your head down here!”

The gargoyle lackey tries to set down the object in its arms.

I draw my gun from my hip and fire at the gargoyle. The gargoyle takes the shot right between the eyes, and it, along with the head, plummets to the ground.

Just before the head hits the ground…

“Yaaa!”

…Rose lands a jump kick on it.

Engulfed in flames, Gadalkand stands there staring mutely, then slumps his shoulders.

Thanks to Rose’s jump kick, the head slams into the castle wall.

Perhaps because it spent so much time in the shrine, it was more fragile than we thought and—

< Sigh, dammit. My head’s been shattered.>

Gadalkand mutters offhandedly.

Without letting down my guard, I call out to our dejected foe.

“Thought you only had undead lackeys, but I see you had some living ones hidden away, too.”

<Hmph, yeah, that’s because the alarm rings the moment the undead enter key areas of the castle. The bell rang when I walked into the castle.>

The doll Gadalkand’s possessing has become an inferno, making him look like a human-shaped fire spirit.

<Didn’t you think it was odd? Where do you think I got the weapon I’m carrying?>

“Now that you mention it, that’s a good point. At any rate, right now you look like a fire demon. It’s kind of cool-looking,” I comment, and Gadalkand turns to me.

I can’t see his expression due to the flames, but it seems he’s caught on to my intent.

Seems he’s not going to just let it end here.

“No, he’s definitely right! You’re really cool-looking right now! The very image of a fire demon! You should become the flame lord of the Demon Lord’s Army!” Rose exclaims, pumping her fist. Evidently, it actually struck a chord with her. I really don’t understand a Chimera’s tastes.

“Well, seems we’re short on time—you ready?”

<No, I’m gonna dump this body. It’s true we’re short on time, but elite demons can do things like this .>

The soil swells and starts forming into a person.

It looks just like the temporary vessels that Grimm used to trap those evil spirits, but those dirt dolls couldn’t stay possessed for long and exploded pretty quickly. That’s probably what he means when he says we’re short on time.

Even if it’s made of dirt, the body is pretty much a golem.

Now that he’s regained his size from when he was alive, a single blow from Gadalkand could probably break my neck.

“I don’t have my main weapon today, so can I get their help as a handicap?”

Just what I’d expect from a guy in the same industry, I’ll give him that much; he’s a proper evil boss.

“All right, so let’s do introductions… Combat Agent Six, Kisaragi Corporation.”

I can sense that the others behind me have dropped into fighting stances.

Since I don’t have my R-Buzzsaw, I’m definitely at a disadvantage.

But this is the perfect opportunity for the power of friendship to—

“What are you guys doing?”

Suddenly, I hear the familiar voice of my partner.

If she’s here, that must mean she’s brought it .

I keep my eyes fixed on Gadalkand, but instead of reaching for the unknown entity that is the power of friendship, I reach for my trusty partner.

“Alice, this is what became of Gadalkand! He blames us for his death and came back to get his revenge! You’ve brought it, right?! Gimme my R-Buzzsaw!”

<Y-you! You bastard, what happened to a handicap?! And what about everything you were saying earlier…?!>

Sure, I could do the honorable thing and face Gadalkand as a true elite member of the Kisaragi Corporation, but honor ain’t worth shit if you’re dead.

“Oh, shut up, you moron! We’re the evil Kisaragi Corporation! All that sappy crap was just an act to buy some time, obviously!”

<Y-you bastard—you’re dead !>

“““Wai…!”””

Just as everyone but Alice was about to comment on our sudden squabble…

“This world ain’t big enough for two evil organizations! Time to slaughter the competition—!”

The battle was already over.