Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 2 - Chapter 4.6

6 

I run back toward the path we came in from, escaping from the chamber. 

“Damned monkey! Hold still! I’ll crush you for humiliating Heine!” Russell chases after me with his giant robot, calling me a monkey all the while. 

“Oh, shut up! Do you really want Heine’s undergarments that badly, you pervy brat? Here, you can have her bra! Just go away!” In a slightly desperate move, I toss the bra toward the pursuing robot. 

“Wh-what the hell?! Heine and I aren’t…”Russell trails off, stopping for a moment as the fluttering lingerie catches his eye. 

We use that opening to flee into a smaller room. Russell looks a bit upset that his prey escaped as we take the long way around him. 

“So we’ve managed to take cover, but what are we going to do now? I think that’s a little too big to take on directly…,” Rose says between labored breaths. She’s right; I can’t think of any weapons that would be useful against a target that big. 

“Wait, can he even get out of this place? Looks like this little room is the only way out…” 

“That would be lovely, but I doubt the ancients were that stupid. I’m sure there’s a door designed for that giant to use.” 

As Snow and Grimm speculate, Alice identifies our way out. 

“Let’s just head back to the entrance. If he can’t get out, we can just leave. If he follows us, we’ll come back inside and try to wait him out.” 

“Sounds like a plan. I doubt anything that big can move for long without resupplying.” 

We head back toward the ruin entrance in accordance with Alice’s plan. 

Unfortunately, but not necessarily surprisingly, we get the worst possible scenario when we arrive… 

“Oh, there you are. I was starting to get tired of waiting. Sorry, but I’m not letting you go this time. I should also mention that the ruins aren’t tough enough to handle me. You’re wasting your time if you think you can hide inside.” 

Waiting at the entrance in his giant robot, Russell smirks from the cockpit. 

“Well, Six? What do we do now?” Alice sounds rather calm, sitting cross-legged on the floor as our surroundings shake with the dull, distant thuds of the ruins coming down around us. 

I sit there, crossing my arms and tilting my head in thought. 

“He’s pretty short-tempered, so I doubt he’ll let us go even if we apologize. I feel like Heine might have let us go if we promised to defect to the Demon Lord’s Army.” 

“Right now, Heine’s standing topless in front of her subordinates. I imagine she wants you dead more than anyone else,” Snow interjects as she casts a look around the room. 

I thought she might be looking for another way out, but instead, she ignores our predicament and begins picking up lights and other odds and ends scattered nearby. I can’t quite decide if I’m supposed to be impressed by her dedication or not. 

“Should we try one of my curses? If that thing is a magical semi-monster like a golem, my curses should work on it.” 

“That thing’s probably a robot rather than type of magical creature… Hey, Grimm, test your curses on Alice. Technically, she has more in common with that giant thing than she does with golems.” 

My proposal gets a response. 

“Those scams again? Sure, give it a try. Hypnosis doesn’t work on androids.” 

“All right, fine. I’ll show you my true power!” Grimm points her finger at Alice as the two of them stand up. 

“Oh, hey, Grimm. Just in case you fail, make sure it’s a relatively light curse.” 

“O Great Lord Zenarith, deliver disaster unto this blasphemous brat! Be assaulted by debris!” 

Simultaneously, I hear a dull thud, and Grimm collapses to the floor as a piece of debris hits her head. 

“Why is she always getting hurt before a fight?” 

“Boss, the wall doesn’t look like it can take much more! There’s a lot more pieces falling down on us!” 

I don’t even have the time to complain about Grimm being knocked out of the fight. Rose is right; the ruins are collapsing much more quickly. 

“H-hey, Six, don’t you have any tricks up your sleeve?” Snow pleads. “Look at all this treasure! It’ll be worth a small fortune if I can take it back. We can’t give up now!” 

“You idiot! Throw those away! That junk will just slow you down!” 

Dammit, how do we get out of this?! 

Just as I’m trying to sort out this mess in my mind… 

“…Boss, it seems like he and I are related in some way. Do you want me to try talking to him…? Besides, I might be able to learn something about who I am in the process…” 

As I’m in the middle of debating offering up the good-looking (but otherwise problematic) Snow as a sacrifice, Rose hesitantly offers her idea. 

It takes me a moment to realize it might actually work. 

“All right, it’s worth a try! Okay, Rose, to work up your rapport with him, start emphasizing the whole ‘Grandpa was right that humans are the enemy’ and—” 

…I cut myself off at that point. 

Rose had tried to sound happy and casual when she suggested it, but on a closer look, I notice she’s trembling. 

I don’t know what she’s afraid of. Is she afraid of learning about her identity? Or is she afraid of the robot? Then again, given her love of fighting, she might not be frightened at all; maybe she’s trembling with excitement. 

Still… 

“Actually, stay here and protect this useless old priestess.” 

“Do you actually have a plan?” Rose interjects without a pause. 

“Hey, trainee, you think Kisaragi can’t handle that thing? Kisaragi’s technology is awesome. We can take on a clumsy hunk of scrap metal like that without breaking a sweat.” 

“W-wait, since when am I a trainee?! I thought I said no!” 

I ignore Rose’s protest and turn to Alice. “So, Alice, that’s the situation. Have any good solutions?” 

“There is one,” she respond immediately. “But it’s risky. First, give up on recovering that robot. Also, are you prepared for your point balance to fall into the negatives again?” 

“I thought we couldn’t do that anymore. Every time I send in a request that would drop me into the red, they don’t send me anything.” 

Ordinarily if your Evil Points fall below zero, the punishment squad comes after you. However, since I figured they couldn’t send the punishment squad after me on this planet, I planned to go on a negative point spending spree, but… 

“If they let you borrow points, you’d have spent yourself into oblivion. So I had them make it impossible for you to borrow points if it isn’t an emergency. Pay back what you owe me before you complain.” 

“I’m glad you understand me so well. Could you wait a bit longer on the loans?” 

Still, being able to spend more points than I have is pretty handy. I don’t think that even counts as a risk, really. 

My face must have been giving away my thoughts, and Alice continues her line of questions. Her tone suggests she knows my answer, but she asks anyway. “The last problem is that you need to buy us time. You’ll have to take on that thing by yourself for a bit.” 

I confidently snort out a laugh. “Buying time is my specialty. You’re talking to Agent Six, tenacity in power armor. I don’t know what you’re going to order, but I’ll leave that to you, my brainy partner.” 

“I feel nothing but concern over your personality and mental state, but when it comes to fighting, I trust you, my brawny partner.” 

This mouthy android. Why is she only reassuring at times like this? 

She smacks me on the back and picks up her Kisaragi device. 

“Alice, what do you need me to do?” 

“You and Rose are going to assist me. You’ll need to follow orders to the letter. The longer it takes to assemble, the lower Six’s chance of survival, got it?” 

What’s she planning to assemble? 

…You know what? I’m not even gonna bother thinking about it. Thinking is her job, after all. 

I jump outside and head toward Russell, who is pressed up against the ruins. 

“It is I, Kisaragi Corporation Operative Agent Six! Stop making such a racket, you damn brat! If you want to bang things against a wall, go get a hotel room and do it there!” 

I set my power armor’s strength boosters to maximum, taking a swing at its foot…!