Baccano! - Volume 2 - Chapter 1

PROLOGUE I

COSTUMED BANDITS

December 1931California

The curtain rose on this crazy ruckus with one dumb sentence from a moron:

“Let’s do a train robbery! I hear those pay well!”

Another moron agreed with that moron’s moronic remark.

“Wow, that’s terrific! We’ll be rich!”

In darkness so deep they couldn’t even see each other’s face, a man and a woman—Isaac Dian and Miria Harvent—were getting all excited over a subject that fell halfway between dangerous and absurd.

Deep in a certain mining gallery in California… The couple who, up until a year ago, had been famous among a (very) select few as “the costumed bandits” stood in front of a rock wall, illuminated by the light of a lantern.

The pair’s modus operandi had been to conduct robberies in flashy costumes and then, once they’d fled a certain distance, to change into different costumes and make their escape. Of course, since all the things they’d stolen had been incomprehensible articles like clocks, chocolate, and the doors of a museum, they’d never managed to make the national newspapers.

The job they’d pulled in New York in November of the previous year had been their last one, and they hadn’t dirtied their hands with a robbery since. Currently, they spent every day excavating gold, saying, “We’ll steal treasure from the earth.” They’d arrived too late, more than eighty years after the Gold Rush, and the only work left for them was endlessly swinging pickaxes in an abandoned mine.

One day, more than a year later, Miria—dressed in women’s coveralls—spoke:

“By the way, Isaac, people usually take gold from rivers, right? Why are we digging a hole?”

Isaac answered that tragically late question with absolutely zero hesitation.

“Ha-ha-ha, the people around here don’t know where to find gold, that’s all! Actually, when I tried to pan for gold dust down at the river, some guys bawled me out; something about ‘claims’ or some such. And I didn’t even know them!”

“How humiliating!”

“But! I saw a centipede in front of this abandoned mine! It was a monster of a centipede, too, with hundreds and hundreds of legs!”

“Eeeek, how creepy!”

At Isaac’s very specific yell, Miria shivered in spite of herself.

“Heh-heh-heh! Well, you see, Miria, in the Far East, they say centipedes are the gods of gold mines! At that, I was convinced! I knew we’d find tons of gold here!”

“We haven’t found any at all, but that’s amazing!”

Applause from one lone person echoed vainly inside the mine.

“Oh, but, but, if centipedes are gods in the Far East, what do you suppose their crosses look like?”

“Let’s see. They probably have a centipede twined around a cross, don’t you think?”

“How Catholic!”

They had conversations like this every day, but today, one thing was different.

“Oh, that’s right, Isaac! A letter came from Ennis and Firo!”

Smiling innocently in the light from the candle, she took a letter from inside her coveralls.

Ennis and Firo. Friends they’d met in New York a year ago.

Firo was an executive in a small criminal organization, while Ennis was a homunculus who’d been created by a certain alchemist, but Isaac and Miria didn’t know a thing about the pair’s circumstances.

In addition to this, during the trouble over the “liquor of immortality” that had broken out at the time, these two had also become immortals. However, they didn’t have the slightest inkling of the changes that had taken place in their own bodies.

That’s right: They weren’t human, but immortals, monsters that would ordinarily have traveled back and forth between fear and envy.

That said, either way, they were living happily now, and it was a topic that had absolutely nothing to do with them.

Miria read the letter from Ennis and Firo aloud by the light of the candle.

Most of the content consisted of suggesting that they come to New York City for a visit for the first time in a year.

However, there was a part of Ennis’s letter that concerned them.

Isaac and Miria, the two of you feel just like a brother and sister to me. I never got to meet my real brothers, the ones who existed before I was made. Thinking of them makes me very sad, but thanks to you, I'm able to overcome it—

As she read that passage, Miria asked Isaac a question, sadly:

“Say, Isaac? Does that mean Ennis’s big brothers are already dead…?”

For his part, since Miria suddenly looked as if she was about to cry, Isaac hastily contradicted the idea.

“No, no, no, that’s not it, that isn’t it, uh… Made…? Never got to meet…? Erm, this is, you see—”

He worried for a bit, but before long, he smacked his hands together.

“Ah, that’s it! She means she wants a little brother!”

On hearing this, Miria’s expression brightened cheerfully, and she cried out:

“Like when a happy-looking little kid pesters its mommy!”

“Yes, that’s the one! I see. So Ennis is happy, then.”

“She’s happy!”

After satisfying themselves with this for a short while, the two of them noticed a different problem.

“But we’re not Ennis’s mother, so we can’t do anything about it, can we?”

“Hmmm. Well, that’s a pity, but let’s bring her some sort of incredible souvenir instead!”

At that point, for the first time, the two began discussing plans to head to New York.

However, they currently had one massive problem: a lack of money. Over the past year, they’d been able to sell the blue stones they’d dug up instead of gold for high prices—for some reason—and they’d managed to keep themselves fed that way, but at this point in time, they really didn’t have the extra to buy a souvenir.

Then Isaac smacked his hands together in realization again, calling out in a loud voice that echoed through the mine:

“Let’s do a train robbery! I hear those pay well!”

“Wow, that’s terrific! We’ll be rich!”

“By the way, train robberies are when you take the train to your destination, do the robbery, then get on a train and escape, right?”

“That has to be it!”

“All right, then, just like last time, let’s steal money from the evildoers in the mafia!”

“Yaaaay, Isaac, you’re an ally of justice!”

“Now then, which mafia outfit should we train-rob…?”

Just then, abruptly, the flame of the lamp went out.

Their surroundings were plunged into pitch-black darkness.

“Eeeeeek, scary!”

“Wa-wa-wa-wait, Miria, don’t worry! At times like this, you mustn’t move around! Just hold still and wait right here until help comes!”

“Wow, Isaac, you’re so reliable!”

The next evening… In a mine near where Isaac and Miria had been, men in coveralls were enthusiastically shooting the breeze as they swung pickaxes.

“Say, remember the folks that were digging up the abandoned mine over yonder?”

“Yup, the ones that dug up lapis lazuli sometimes?”

“They took ’em away on stretchers this morning. Suffocation, they said. They were doin’ just fine by afternoon, though.”

“How ’bout that. They must’ve found ’em real fast. Normally, they’d be dead.”

With no idea that Isaac and Miria were immortal, the miners honestly admired their good luck.

“The guy said something about seeing a centipede with several hundred legs, and that’s why they were digging for gold, didn’t he?”

“What’s all that about?”

“Damn if I know. He spouted off something about eastern religion or some such. They knew so much about the Far East it was weird.”

An elderly miner who’d been listening to their conversation from the side jumped in, disbelief in his eyes.

“Y’mean the boss of that mine? The thing that’s got several hundred legs?”

“You know about it, Gramps?”

“Do I know about it…? That ain’t no centipede. That’s a millipede.”

By then, Isaac and Miria were on a train.

First, they were headed to Chicago, that mafia hotbed. After they’d done a job there, they’d get on the train and make their escape.

They’d already settled on a getaway train.

A limited express bound for New York: the Flying Pussyfoot.