Adachi Eiko is Not an Adult
Adachi Eiko was singing. Beyond a layer of soundproof glass, Macaron watched her from behind, puffing on a cigarette.
The microphone she sang into was a professional one with a pop filter, and her ears were covered with thick headphones. Since they were only recording audio, the monitor was black. She sang with passion, her black hair swishing now and then:
Together forever, together for always.
Our dreams are cast by a magical spell
Let’s keep on smiling, I’ll always be smiling
You’re the one who made this miracle!
(Hum, hum) Brilliant Magic!
I feel my feelings rising
Nobody one can stop them
Dance to the rhythm, take a deep breath
And shout... into the future!
Brilliant Magic
A magical mystery spell
Brilliant Magic
A sparkly miracle spell
Together forever, together for always
Our dreams are cast by a magical spell
Let’s keep on smiling, I’ll always be smiling
You’re the one who made this miracle!
(*Repeat)
Let’s be brilliant
Forever brilliant
(Hum, hum) Brilliant Magic!
“Puff!” Macaron muttered. Who thought up these lyrics? All this “magical spell” nonsense. This “miracle” nonsense... “Let’s be brilliant? Forever brilliant?” It’s not better just because it rhymes! What are you, a rap artist? he groaned internally. Besides, he thought, if it were rap, it would be more provocative, like so:
Driving at night at quarter to three
Stopped by a cop, hand over my ID
He says I’m looking in your trunk, go on and let me see
It’s full of coke and AKs he’s gonna pin on me
Time to shoot the cop? Yeah, it’s time to decide
Yeah, yeah
Amagi Brilliant Park, I said.
Yeah, yeah
Amagi Brilliant Park.
That would be real music, ron! If you played that in the park, it would be a huge hit, ron!
But when Macaron had proposed his gangsta rap concept the other day, the committee had unanimously shot it down. “Grr... Grrrr...” he growled now, grinding his teeth.
Adachi Eiko kept singing, unaware of Macaron’s resentment. At least it wasn’t her fault. She wasn’t bad; his issues were with the songwriter who’d written the thing decades ago.
The recording studio was on the fourth floor of a fashionable building just outside Amagi. They were spending a whopping 10,000 yen per hour for use of the facilities and a sound engineer. Macaron, in the studio serving as music producer, was puffing silently on a cigarette.
When Eiko’s song ended, the engineer pressed the speaker button and addressed her. “Okay, give us a minute.”
“All right!” Eiko’s voice called back.
After releasing the switch so that Eiko couldn’t hear them, the engineer-for-hire turned to Macaron. “What do you think, Macaron-san?”
“...Ron. It’s mostly okay, but it’s lacking some oomph on the second ‘brilliant magic’ bit, ron.”
“Right.”
“It says mezzo forte on the sheet music, but I want her to ignore that and really go for it. Well... and the humming before that was a little off, so maybe that’s the problem. Also...”
While talking technical issues with the man, Macaron glanced at Eiko in the booth. Her back was to him, so he couldn’t see her face. On the surface, she seemed to be as laid-back as ever.
Macaron was the Fairy of Music for Amagi Brilliant Park, which meant he had played instruments in that booth many times before. (In fact, he had played all the instruments for this recording, too.)
It was an awkward little space, and being inside it took a toll on a person. It was totally soundproof, which meant that all you could hear was your own voice. After singing your heart out, you’d get no applause or cheers from an audience—just an engineer’s businesslike tone through the headphones saying, “Okay, give us a minute.” Then silence—an oppressive silence that left you alone with the ringing in your ears.
If you looked through the soundproof glass, all you’d see was the producer and other bigwigs talking to each other with grave expressions. You couldn’t even hear what they were talking about. It was a grueling environment that swiftly ground down any enthusiasm you might have.
That was bad enough if you were a professional singer, but Eiko was only doing this as an extension of her part-time job. Having these exchanges through retake after retake wasn’t really going to improve her singing.
“Ahh, actually, forget what I said.” Macaron put his cigarette out. “Let’s just say some noise leaked in and do a retake of that bit, ron. Then if it still seems off, maybe we can just use take two?”
“......Very well,” the engineer said with perfectly understandable grumpiness.
“Sorry, ron.”
“......” The engineer silently pressed the switch and addressed Eiko. “Er, excuse me. Could you do just the second half of the A verse again? We had a little noise leaking in.”
“All right!” Eiko responded cheerfully, and the re-recording began.
Eiko had a nice singing voice—a good one, in fact. She didn’t have the born talent of her coworker, Chujo Shiina, but she did have a certain charm. Still, she seemed awkward, somehow; there was always a sense that she was trapped—like a person bound by thick rubber cords, or a bird in a cage.
It was as if Eiko was stifled; like she was always holding back, somehow. Even though a mature and confident woman like her would be unstoppable in most things if she just followed her heart. What could it be, then? Macaron didn’t know the answer, but...
“Okay, we’re good. Great work today, everyone.” Fortunately, the retake went well enough.
After Macaron gave final approval, Eiko turned around and smiled at him through the soundproof glass. “Thank you very much!” she said brightly.
Is it just my imagination? he wondered. Eiko seemed completely unfazed by the experience she had just been through. Her singing voice was fine, but that laid-back attitude of hers was her real talent. Macaron knew she couldn’t hear him, so he just offered up a V-sign with his hoof in response.
The catalyst for all of this was Chujo Shiina’s CD, which had sold more than expected.
Chujo Shiina was one of their high school part-timers, who had revealed a secret aptitude for singing during the first performance of their Golden Week live show. Hoping to capitalize on this, Acting Manager Kanie Seiya had printed a small CD run that the park’s fans could buy.
AmaBri had a few “theme songs”—relaxing family tunes of the sort you’d find in most amusement parks. They’d sold singles of those songs in dribs and drabs for the past twenty years, so this venture was basically a renovation of that practice. Seiya probably hadn’t been thinking about it too deeply.
And yet, the CDs had sold out in a flash. They’d only done 500 pressings, so it wasn’t exactly a massive hit... but it had been a surprise, even so. On top of that, the CDs continued to sell.
Despite not even having a picture of Shiina on the jacket, and calling her by the alias “New Part-Timer C” at her request, they’d already had to print another 1,000 CDs to meet demand. Therefore, Seiya had thought, maybe they should take advantage of the phenomenon by creating a brand new CD.
The issue was Chujo Shiina herself; she had an amazing singing voice, but she was easily flustered and suffered from terrible performance anxiety. They’d managed to coax her through that first CD recording, but when asked to sing more new songs, she had turned them down flat.
“You must be joking!” she had said. “I’ve done the best I can, but to do any more would be terrifying. And while I’m grateful to the people who bought my songs, I know that I’ll inevitably end up disappointing and disillusioning them. Also, it’s really scary singing in that booth by myself! And—”
Well, that was more or less the gist of it. Chujo Shiina usually had trouble stringing basic sentences together. Yet at times like these, for some reason, she was always perfectly loquacious.
At any rate, AmaBri wasn’t a talent agency, and it would be wrong to push that much responsibility onto a part-timer. Seiya had been just about to abandon the idea when Shiina’s fellow part-timers, Bando Biino and Adachi Eiko, came to speak to him directly.
“I don’t want Shiina-chan’s talents to go to waste!” Biino had said.
“I completely agree. We attempted to convince her to go along with it, but...” Eiko had said.
They explained the real problem: Shiina was too scared to sing alone. Thus, Eiko and Biino suggested, if they were with her, she might feel more up to the challenge.
When he heard that, Seiya’s eyes had lit up. “I see! You want to sing as a girl group, then? I was just thinking about something like that myself. Thanks for volunteering! I accept! Now, get to it!”
Eiko and Biino were both stunned by the order. They had been imagining themselves more as Shiina’s supporters—standing with her in the recording booth, shouting “Go for it!” and “Great work!”, playing tambourines or castanets or clapping along.
The three of them, a girl group? Impossible! They were all just amateurs... and part-time employees, at that. But their arguments fell on deaf ears, and Seiya immediately moved the plan into action. Before the day was even over, the unit’s formation was announced to the park’s cast, and they began soliciting group names. By the next day, the name “Task Force ABC” had been chosen.
Incidentally, that name had been Moffle’s suggestion. Shiina had apparently confronted Moffle about it later, to which Moffle had responded: “Sorry, fumo. I didn’t think it was serious. I only submitted it as a gag...”
“Don’t worry. The work won’t be anything too strenuous,” Seiya had explained. They would basically be like one of those local idol groups that were all the rage these days. They’d go out to local shopping districts, old folks’ homes, and daycare centers, to sing and dance and bring the park publicity.
It would be just like karaoke! It wouldn’t take up much of their time! In the face of these assurances, the three reluctantly agreed.
And thus, AmaBri’s first idol(?) unit, Task Force ABC, was born.
“Now, let’s get that first single out!” Seiya had declared to them. “Macaron, you’ll be the producer!”
Macaron couldn’t exactly say no. He was the Fairy of Music, after all. “All right, ron. I’ll do it, but... do I get some kind of bonus, or other compensation?”
Seiya snorted, as if he’d expected the question. “Of course! 50% of the royalties. In other words, half of what the park earns goes to you. Pretty good, eh?”
“Oh-ho...” Macaron had chuckled greedily at first. “Wait, wouldn’t that be 50% of 7%?”
“Of course,” Seiya agreed.
“That’ll be 10,000 yen if I’m lucky, ron!” Macaron protested vigorously. “That’s not exactly worth all the overtime, ron!”
Royalties on a CD were typically 7%. If they sold 300 CDs at 1,000 yen each, the royalty would come out to 21,000. Half of that would be 10,500. On top of that, their budget for the new CD was extremely skimpy. They didn’t have money to hire a band, so Macaron would provide the music: Guitar, bass, drums, synth—all of it!
A hired band would be paid at least 100,000 yen! Yet for my extraordinary talents—the ability to handle all instrumentation and production—I get a measly 10,000?! “It’s ridiculous, ron!” he had cried.
But Seiya had refused to entertain the argument. “Oh, shut up. If we sell 100,000 CDs, you’ll end up with 7 million!”
“But we won’t! The only CDs that reach 100,000 are the ones packaged with a meet-and-greet ticket for famous singers, ron! I’d make more at the local pachinko parlor, ron!”
“But you’re the only one who’s qualified,” Seiya told him, “so stop complaining and do it!”
“Grr...” It was true that he was the only one who could do it. Grudgingly, then, Macaron had agreed to take on the role of producer.
They finished up Biino and Shiina’s recordings, and they were about to leave the studio when Macaron’s smartphone vibrated. It was an email from his ex-wife.
I received your child support payment. I hope you’ll continue to be so timely in the future. After discussing things with my lawyer, I’ve decided to let you meet Lalapa this month. She apparently wants to visit your workplace. While I’m not fond of the idea, I’ve decided to honor her wish to see the mortal realm. It would be convenient for us if we could do so within the week, so I hope you’ll help us to work it out.?
“R-Ron!” He found himself crying out in joy. He was well accustomed to his ex-wife’s formal and vaguely sarcastic way of expressing herself, so that didn’t bother him.
What mattered was that Lalapa was coming! His beloved daughter! She had turned twelve years old this year, and he’d heard she was becoming a fair-skinned Macaronian beauty.
Even better, she wants to come see me at work! Macaron told himself. Goddess Libra, thank you! I take back every time I’ve cursed you in the past!
“Let’s see... ‘Roger that, ron. How about Thursday, then?’” He was in the hallway, punching in his reply, when the three part-time workers approached him.
“Well done today, Macaron-san.” Adachi Eiko lilted.
“I was s-so nervous!” Chujo Shiina stammered.
“So was I! I even got a huge nosebleed!” Bando Biino enthused, while holding a tissue to her nose.
There were three girls, and all of them were different. Bando Biino especially—despite liberation from the specter’s curse, she still seemed bound by her tendency towards constant bleeding. Given that her family and friends’ misfortune had cleared up since then, it seemed that the bleeding was just part of her lot in life.
Macaron put his smartphone away and said, “Oh, you’re all done? Let’s grab a bite, then.”
“Hooray!” Eiko cried.
They didn’t even ask if it was on him. Such honest girls!
“Okay, if you want to,” Biino said.
“M-Mine in!” Shiina flubbed.
“All right. Let’s go, ron.”
The four started walking, with Macaron in the lead. Okay, ron, he thought as they headed out. It’s time to stroke their egos a little...
But about three hours after they’d arrived in a dining pub near the station...
“Point is, music’s about harmony, ron! It’s about passion, ron! And you guys are seriously lacking, ron!” ...Such was Macaron’s state after getting carried away and guzzling down too much cheap wine.
“Urp... you hear me, ron? Singing’s like... it’s something that falls from the sky! No, that’s not it. It’s something that wells up from within! Yeah, like nausea during a hangover, ron! I mean, uh... Hey girlie, more wine!”
They’d started with small talk like “What kind of music do you like?” and “Who was your favorite artist as a kid?” and such, but they’d ended up here.
“Ah... well, I suppose,” Eiko agreed cautiously.
“I-I understand!” Biino enthused. “You mean we should bleed music, right?!”
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand...” Shiina chimed in last.
Eiko, Biino, and Shiina wore their confusion openly throughout Macaron’s needling, but they endured it. If he’d been with the four Aquario spirits, they’d already have stormed out by now.
“Point is, music is... ah, it’s fine. We’ll just fumble our way through, ron.”
“That’s not what you said before,” Shiina countered.
“It’s not? Then... well, you know, ron. It’s all about talent anyway, so hard work won’t get you anywhere, ron.”
“That’s also not what you said before,” she added.
“...Anyway, I’m still waiting on that shochu,” Macaron grumbled. “When’s it coming?”
“You ordered wine, actually.”
Macaron glared at Shiina, who seemed to be nitpicking every little thing. “Shut up, ron! Quit commenting on everything! What are you, a Chekist?!”
“Eek! Sorry!” The girl hid fearfully behind her menu.
Meanwhile, Biino raised her hand and asked a question. “Hey, Macaron-san. What is a Chekist? Some kind of musical instrument?”
“Google it, ron. ...Anyway, what do you want?” The three turned around, following Macaron’s gaze. Just outside of their booth stood an unfamiliar man. He looked to be in his mid-twenties.
“...?” They waited for him to answer.
At first, Macaron had assumed that he was a drunk who’d come back to the wrong seat, but that didn’t seem to be the case. First of all, he didn’t look inebriated. Second of all, he was wreathed in an aura of hostility. He wore a perfectly tailored suit and shiny leather shoes, and the watch peeking out from his left sleeve was a Rolex. Macaron had never seen him before. He was dumbstruck, as were Shiina and Biino.
“Eiko-san,” the man said. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. What are you doing in a place like this?”
It seemed he and Eiko knew each other, but she looked extremely put out to see him. “Shuichi-san... I told you that I was working today...”
“I sent you a dozen messages,” the man said accusingly. “You didn’t answer, so I got worried and came looking for you.”
“...Forgive me, Shuichi-san. I never check my email while I’m out with others,” Eiko apologized. “I think it’s rude... I’ve told you that many times before...”
Hey, hey. What’s with this conversation? He’s so formal but so clingy... Macaron gazed up at the man, lapping at his near-empty wine glass. Did he know her well enough to be able to check her smartphone location data? And there were a few different restaurants in this building, so he might have been searching each floor. Either way, they seemed a bit more than just friends.
“You’re not exactly working right now,” the man named Shuichi hissed. “I’m responsible for you, you know. Look at you, in this trashy establishment, drinking cheap booze with heaven knows who, like you’re the best friends in the world...”
“Please stop,” Eiko begged him. “They’re coworkers.”
“I’m taking you home. Come with me right now and I won’t tell your parents about this.”
“Please, just listen...”
“I don’t have to listen to you. Come on.” The man seized Eiko’s wrist, while Biino and Shiina tried to stop him.
“Hey, hold it, buddy.” Macaron said at last, unable to stay silent through his subordinate’s manhandling. “I don’t know who you are, but you can’t treat her that way, ron. We just finished a job and we’re blowing off steam, that’s all. Forging our bonds as coworkers. Right?” He looked to Biino and Shiina for agreement.
“Well, we weren’t blowing off any steam...”
“And we’re not really any closer than we were before...”
“That’s mean, ron!” It was true that he had probably been a little hard on them. But still! “A-Anyway...” Macaron cleared his throat. “Eiko-san came here on my invitation, ron. I’m paying, too, of course. So if you have any complaints, you should say them to me.”
“Oh, is that how it is?” The man, Shuichi, nodded, pulled out his wallet (not the bi-fold kind!) and dropped five 10,000 yen bills on the table. Fifty thousand yen! “Will that cover it? Yeah, given the kind of place it is, I’m sure it will. Keep the change, if you want. We’re leaving now.”
The man tried to leave, dragging Eiko with him. Biino and Shiina were both freaking out, but it wasn’t out of concern over Eiko. It was—
“Hold it right there, punk,” Macaron said in a threatening tone, eyes half-lidded and upper lip curled. If this were an old-fashioned delinquent manga from Shonen Magazine, the others would be emitting “?!” speech balloons.
After all, despite his appearance, this woolly white mascot was an ex-delinquent. He had a low boiling point. His temper could be so bad that even Moffle, who frequently hit customers himself, would from time to time nervously say things like “He kind of puts me off, fumo.” Macaron could handle a few light blows, but he couldn’t take this kind of verbal disdain. And on top of that, he was currently quite drunk.
“Um, um, Macaron-san...” Shiina said nervously.
“I understand how you feel, but we can’t have bloodshed here!” Biino hissed.
Shiina and Biino both quickly tried to restrain him. They must have either witnessed or heard about Macaron’s tendencies in their few months at AmaBri.
“Ron...” Macaron stood up, grabbed the five bills on the table and threw them at Shuichi’s feet. “Pick ’em up.”
“Er?”
“I said pick ’em up, ron. Then I won’t hafta kill ya.”
“What the—”
“Shut your freakin’ hole and pick ’em up, dumbass!” He grabbed the man’s lapels and shook him back and forth.
“Hey... urk!”
“I don’t like the way you gave ’em to me! Now, you pick ’em up an’ you offer ’em back on your hands and knees, ron!”
Shiina muttered, “You mean you still want them?” but he ignored it, his glare locked on the man.
“C-Cut it out!” Shuichi stammered.
“You gonna do it or ain’t ya?!” Macaron jeered. “Quit pissin’ your pants, ya little shit! You want a beer bottle up your ass to make you come first? Izzat it?!”
“Macaron-san, stop!” Eiko interposed herself. The man looked terrified. He was clearly a chicken when the chips were down, and suddenly the entire scene felt like a farce.
Macaron released him, and Eiko knelt down to pick up the scattered 10,000 yen bills. Her charming yet put-upon aura immediately cooled Macaron’s head. “Ron...”
“Shuichi-san... I’m going to apologize to them for your behavior,” she told him. “Could you please just go for now?”
“Uh... but...”
“Don’t worry. I’ll go right home immediately after.” She folded up the bills neatly and placed them in the pocket of his suit. “Please,” she pressed him.
“S-Sure...” After a moment’s hesitation, the man straightened his tie and left.
A member of the wait staff, who had heard the fuss and come running, was glaring at Macaron. “Sir, we can’t have this.”
“Yeah... I’m sorry, ron. Er... check, please.”
“Yes, sir.” The server left.
“Please forgive me, Macaron-san. Your anger at his boorishness was entirely justified,” Eiko said. “I promise to thoroughly scold him for it...”
“No, I’m the one who’s sorry, ron,” Macaron said shamefacedly. “But who is he even, ron? He was acting pretty handsy with you...”
“Well, he’s...” Eiko hesitated for a moment. “My fiancé.”
The next morning, before opening, backstage at Sorcerer’s Hill...
“Amazing, mii! An arranged marriage in this day and age! How feudal, mii!” The eyes of Tiramii, Fairy of Flowers, shone with curiosity upon hearing Macaron’s words.
“I’m surprised too, fumo. So Adachi’s a true heiress, eh? I’ve never met one before, fumo.” Moffle, Fairy of Sweets, seemed deeply impressed.
“You know, you guys are from a magical kingdom...” Acting Manager Kanie Seiya muttered. Seiya often held conferences in his office or a conference room, but he’d managed to hear the story from Macaron while he was out and about on patrol. “You also hang out with a princess. Why is this shocking to you?”
“Kanie-kun, you aren’t shocked, ron?” Macaron asked.
“Well, it’s a surprise to learn that she has a fiancé,” Seiya remarked. “But even that’s not as bad as her work history...”
“Ahh... about that,” Tiramii said.
During their interview, Seiya had been so shocked by the “former AV actress” revelation that he hadn’t asked her anything else. Although, her manners and comportment day-to-day had led him to believe she was likely from a fairly good family.
“It turned out she wasn’t an AV actress after all, mii. I was so disappointed, mii.”
“Disappointed?” Seiya was actually relieved.
Apparently the others had only recently learned that her actual former profession was work on “Animal Videos.” This had been common knowledge among the female cast for some time, but they’d kept it a secret to amuse themselves. Recently, Tiramii had heard it from Muse, and he’d spread the info among the male cast. (Tricen, an AV enthusiast, had insisted from the beginning that there must have been some kind of mistake.)
Incidentally, it was apparently Seiya’s secretary, Sento Isuzu, who had learned about the misunderstanding first.
Damn you, Sento... why didn’t you let me know right away? Were you trying to spite me for some reason? Seiya thought to himself angrily, but he didn’t ask her directly. Dredging the subject up again would just be awkward at this point.
“More importantly... what’s an heiress doing working at an amusement park, fumo?”
“No clue, ron. You interviewed her, didn’t you? Didn’t you ask her about it?”
“Moffu. The AV thing hit us too hard.”
“It’s a good question, though. An amusement park is a strange choice of job for someone looking to get married, mii.”
“If she were my daughter, I’d never let her loose in this gangster-filled environment, ron. I’d have a heart attack worrying about her getting deflowered somewhere, ron...” Macaron guzzled down his can of coffee and looked up at the ceiling. Then suddenly, he slapped is knee, as if remembering something. “Oh, right! Speaking of daughters!”
“...? What is it, fumo?”
“Lalapa! I get to see my daughter! We finally reached an agreement on the child support thing, see? So I get to see her this month, ron!” Macaron was on cloud nine. His expression was beatific. Seiya wished he’d look like that onstage more often, but decided that bringing that up now would be more trouble than it was worth.
“Also! Also! She wants to see my workplace, ron! It’s my chance to earn real dad points, ron!”
“Oh, Lalapa, eh? Haven’t seen her in a while, fumo. How old is she again?”
“Twelve years old, ron! Try to remember!”
“That’s right, fumo. Time sure flies, eh? But... I wonder why it’s so easy to forget the names and ages of your friends’ kids. It happens a lot, doesn’t it?”
“Don’t ask me,” Seiya said, simply confused by the question Moffle posed to him.
“I wouldn’t know either, mii. I’m a bachelor for life! So let’s can the old man talk already, mii.”
“You’re an old man, too,” Seiya told him.
“Mii! I’m only in my 20s in mortal terms! Kanie-kun, you’re so prejudiced, mii!”
“Oh, shut up.” Brushing off Tiramii’s complaint, Seiya turned to Macaron. “Macaron. You can bring the kid here if you want, but try to request the schedule change ASAP—by the end of the day if you can. I’ll need to adjust the shifts and arrange a backstage pass.”
“Of course, ron! I’ve got it handled, ron!”
“I hope you do...” Seiya just shrugged, then took his leave.
As he returned to his office in the general affairs building, he found Sento Isuzu waiting for him. “What is it?” he asked.
“Seiya-kun,” she greeted him. “Adachi-san needs to speak with you.” He looked up and saw Adachi Eiko, waiting in the room’s reception area in the back. When she noticed Seiya, she immediately stood up and bowed to him.
“Hey,” he said. He specifically did not say, “Macaron told me everything. It sounds like yesterday was pretty rough.”
It occurred to him, in fact, that today was Eiko’s day off. It was strange to see her here so close to the park’s opening time dressed in her everyday clothes. Her expression was gloomy. She was wearing almost no makeup and her face was pale, as though she hadn’t slept. He’d never seen her like this before.
“...Kanie-san,” she said. “I’m sorry to interrupt your work like this.”
“No problem. What did you need to talk about?” Eiko was in college, while Seiya was in high school. But while she was the older of the two, he invariably ended up speaking casually with her. It wasn’t that Seiya didn’t understand social hierarchies, and he could use polite language where necessary (he wouldn’t have landed the Mal-Mart deal if he couldn’t). But while inside the park, he couldn’t help but treat everyone as his inferior. Everyone in the cast was used to it, and Eiko didn’t seem to mind it, either.
“This is very difficult to say, but I’m having a problem...”
“Just say it already,” he told her.
“All right. The truth is...” Eiko cleared her throat softly. “I never told you this before, but my family runs a hospital.”
“Oh?”
“Are you familiar with Amagi Hospital?”
“Yeah. That’s where we send people who get really sick in the park, I think. It’s along the bus route on the way here... wait, Amagi Hospital?” he asked incredulously. “Are you serious?” That was no mere local hospital; it was one of the biggest hospitals in the entire region. Amagi Hospital had all the latest equipment, and the facilities included a convenience store and a dining hall. The lavish modern ward it added last year had been the talk of the town for a while.
“Yes,” Eiko said shortly, “Amagi Hospital.”
“You didn’t put that on your resume,” Seiya said dryly.
“Forgive me. It isn’t as though I was trying to hide it... The application didn’t have a place to list our parents’ professions...”
“Well, that’s all right...” He’d hardly talked to any of the cast about his own previous employment. The only people who knew about it were Isuzu, Moffle, and a few others. That’s not to say he was actively hiding it, so there may have been rumors going around, but...
“That’s right. Their director and board chairman is named ‘Adachi Eizo.’ It never occurred to me that he could be Eiko-san’s father,” Isuzu said as she manipulated her tablet. “And he isn’t simply the director of Amagi Hospital; he’s on the boards for the Amagi Medical Association and the Minami-Tama Medical Association. He also serves as adviser to the Fujimi Association, the city council’s most powerful faction.”
“Hmm...” Seiya mused. A powerful man. This smelled like trouble.
“He also plays a significant role in city politics. In some respects, he’s more influential than the mayor.” As Isuzu explained, Eiko’s expression remained gloomy. It was easy to assume she wasn’t fond of her father.
“So what?” Seiya asked.
“Well... My father... he’s extremely angry.”
“Angry? At who?”
“At... Amagi Brilliant Park.”
“Huh? Why would he be angry at us?” Seiya asked.
Amagi Hospital wasn’t exactly in competition with them; it was the main place they sent people who got seriously ill in the park, but that hardly ever even happened. As far as Seiya knew, they hadn’t done anything to get on the facility’s bad side.
He looked to Isuzu, who had been in the park a year longer than him, but she just shook her head in response. Nothing seemed to come to mind.
“I truly am sorry. It’s all my fault, you see...”
Eiko explained the situation. As they had imagined, Eiko’s family was very strict. She’d quit her last part-time job at a talent agency primarily due to her father’s wishes. He’d only let her keep her current job because he thought that a local amusement park would be harmless.
But then came the incident with her fiancé yesterday; apparently, Macaron had lost his head and threatened assault.
Seiya didn’t know all the details, but he knew Macaron, and it was easy to imagine how it had all gone down. He’d probably said something like, “I’ll shove a beer bottle up your ass and make you cry” (which was close, if not quite accurate).
That same fiancé—the heir apparent to some medical device manufacturer, she said—had conveyed this to Eiko’s father. Her father had been outraged. Not only had he insisted that she quit her job, he also started talking about forcing AmaBri to make reparations for hiring such a “delinquent employee.”
“Hmm... That’s rough,” Seiya considered. “So your father wants us to fire Macaron?”
“Yes. There are other things, too... but that alone is unacceptable!” Eiko, who had been stammering out her explanation, now spoke with great vehemence. “It was my fiancé who started it. He used his money to look down on others, and that’s wrong. Macaron-san’s anger was completely justified.”
Hints of loathing for her fiancé flitted in and out of Eiko’s words. It was strange to see her this way, when she was usually so nonchalant. Apparently, despite their engagement, there was very little true affection between them.
Noticing Seiya and Isuzu’s curious gazes, Eiko snapped back to reality. “Ah... er. Of course, I’m the one who’s most at fault. Please... forgive my outburst.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Seiya told her. “I understand what it’s like to deal with selfish parents.”
“Ahh...” said Eiko, unsure of what to say.
“By the way,” he added, “we appreciate you coming here on your day off to let us know.”
“Well... actually, I thought about sending an email much earlier... But my head was such a jumble... and so, I ended up coming here directly.” She must have been tossing and turning all night, trying to compose the email in her mind. It really was a sad image. “I truly... I truly am sorry,” Eiko told them.
“We get it. No more apologies.”
“But...”
“But I’m sorry to say, there’s no way we’re firing Macaron,” Seiya said firmly. “Firing a vital member of the cast because of something some stuck-up old geezer—sorry—says would tank our morale.”
After all, summer vacation was about to begin. Losing Macaron now would be like losing your five-hole hitter during a tight pennant race—completely out of the question. He still didn’t know exactly how he was going to deal with Eiko’s father. But, Seiya thought, let him do his worst.
“That’s an admirable stance,” Isuzu began, “but you should recall that we are vulnerable in a number of ways. The name of our bus stop, for instance— We’ve laid considerable bureaucratic groundwork with the city and we’re about to finally have it changed.”
“Ngh,” he winced.
She was referring to the fact that the “Amagi Brilliant Park” bus stop actually sat in front of a nearby love hotel. Through a combination of Seiya’s magic and Tricen’s hard work, they were finally on the verge of having the name changes approved. But a man with influence—like Eiko’s father—could easily gum up the works.
“Well,” Seiya said shakily, “losing the bus stop won’t hurt us that badly...”
“There’s also the issue of our operating hours,” she pointed out. “We’ve been keeping the park open until 9:00 PM, but that’s right on the line of what’s allowed by city ordinances. One could interpret them in a way to suggest that we’re operating illegally.”
“Grr...”
“Fire standards are another factor. As you know, the park contains a number of old attractions. The city has the right to conduct a surprise inspection at any time.”
“Grrrr...”
“They could also send health inspectors, or run a tax investigation. They could even choose to do these things during operating hours,” Isuzu pointed out. “I don’t think this is a matter on which we can afford to be inflexible.”
“I get it! I get it!” he shouted.
Isuzu was right, of course. Seiya could easily imagine a whole mountain of troubles this man could bring to their doorstep. Their interactions with the local government already had to go through the third sector agency Amagi Development, which was an enemy of the park. With their allies already few and far between, picking a fight with a powerful voice in city politics was the last thing Seiya wanted to do. If possible, he’d prefer to resolve it amicably, with a heartfelt apology... But firing Macaron was also not an option.
Darn it, Seiya thought angrily, Macaron, you idiot! He would have liked to lay into him for what he’d done, but he knew that wouldn’t be fair. Macaron hadn’t known Eiko’s family circumstances— If he had, he might have responded in a more mature fashion. (Well... actually, he probably wouldn’t have, but still.)
“Hmmmmmmm...” Seiya pondered. I’m in high school. Why do I have to work out all this messy grown-up stuff? I hate this. You people. can all go to hell! part of him thought.
But at times like these, Seiya always took a deep breath and conjured a particular face in his mind. It was the smiling face of the park’s original manager, Latifah Fleuranza. What am I doing this for? he asked. That’s my answer.
Another deep breath. Okay. We’re okay. Let’s think.
“...Let’s see,” he said out loud. “We should probably try to speak with him as an organization—humbly.”
“I agree,” said Isuzu. “An attempt to resolve this through traditional channels is advisable.”
“While we do that, let’s dig up some blackmail material,” Seiya suggested. “See if there’s anything about Adachi’s father, or his hospital, that we can hold over his head.”
“All right,” Isuzu agreed. “Having such information would strengthen our hand in discussions.”
Seiya gazed hard at Eiko. “Adachi. Will you help us?”
“Y-Yes, of course. It’s the least that I can do to make up for what I’ve done. But...” Eiko dissembled. “The truth is... er... well, most likely... I do not think that my father’s anger will be so easily allayed.”
“...? What do you mean?” Seiya questioned. “Is there more to this than you’ve told us?”
“I... I’m so sorry!” Eiko collapsed over the desk, breaking down in tears. “I don’t know what came over me. I was arguing with him... about my fiancé... and then, without thinking...”
“Hey... what did you do?” he asked her, steeling himself for even worse news.
“I told him... that I was in love with someone else... And that... I wanted him to call off the engagement...” Eiko’s voice was choked with sobs. “I lied and told him... that I was in a relationship with my superior at work... And then... he began questioning me about who it was... and I knew it would cause trouble, but I...”
“Don’t tell me...” Seiya groaned. Is it me? Did she tell him she’s in a relationship with me? That’s not good... I mean, I know I’m so hot I turn heads in the street, so I can see how it would be your go-to in a moment of stress, but... Dammit! How could she do this?!
“Let’s just get it out there, then,” he said, his voice filled with resignation. “Who did you say it was?”
Eiko looked up at Seiya with tear-filled eyes and confessed. “I told him... that I was seeing Macaron-san...”
“......” Seiya froze up as his mind churned over the concept. What? Macaron? Even if she did just make it up on the spot, couldn’t she have picked a better partner? That woolly sheep? That once-divorced former delinquent?!
Isuzu leaned over and whispered to him, “Seiya-kun. Did you think she was going to say it was you?”
“Sh-Shut up!” he hissed back at her.
That day, after the park closed...
Macaron finished an email exchange with his ex, then skipped his way to the general affairs building. They’d worked out the day when his daughter Lalapa would visit: next Thursday, at one o’clock in the afternoon. She’d arrive at Yokohama Station, on the Maple Dentetsu, so they would have to arrange for someone from the park to pick her up. Now all he had to do was give the schedule to Seiya or Isuzu and get permission to take the time off in the early afternoon. Thursdays were relatively slow days, so it probably wouldn’t be any trouble.
I’m waiting for you, Lalapa! Eyes shining, he entered the acting manager’s office. “Ron! Kanie-kun, I worked the schedule out for my daughter’s visit! Please stamp it!”
A cloud seemed to hang over the office where Seiya, Isuzu, and Moffle were waiting.
“There he is...”
“He’s on cloud nine...”
“Lucky him, fumo...”
They looked utterly exhausted. They must have been having a long debate about something.
“Huh?” said Macaron. “What is it, ron? It’s like a funeral in here... What happened?”
“Go ahead and sit down.”
“Ron... C’mon, everyone looks so serious... Let’s all cheer up, ron!”
“Just sit down!” Seiya ordered.
“Ron...?” He did as he was told, sitting down on the sofa in the reception area. The trio immediately took the seats across from him and, leaning forward, explained the circumstances.
It was about his fight with Adachi Eiko and her fiancé the night before. As they explained, Eiko’s father had been furious when he learned about the quarrel yesterday, and they had been expecting him to request Macaron’s firing.
“...And so, with all that in mind,” Seiya continued, “Sento and I went this afternoon to negotiate.”
“Negotiate? With who?”
“With Adachi’s father, of course. The hospital is right nearby.”
They had visited under the pretense of an eagerness to apologize, obscuring the fact that Eiko had warned them.
Ah, we heard that one of our employees has caused you a great deal of trouble. We can’t apologize enough. He’s also extremely sorry about what he’s done. He’s written a formal apology and accepted a pay cut as well as other forms of atonement. Eventually, we’d like to have him come here to offer a personal apology, but we wanted to convey our sincere regrets as quickly as possible. Could we perhaps settle this amicably, just between us?
......Was more or less how it went.
“That was very humble of you, fumo.” Moffle whispered, upon hearing the story.
“Well, that’s my job. It’s no blow to my pride,” Seiya explained. “Anyway... I was all prepared for him to yell at us, but he turned out to be quite a gentleman. His reaction was extremely mature.”
The swift apology seemed to have done its job; he’d seemed genuinely surprised by it.
“But he’s still gonna put on pressure to have me fired, ron?! Fucking politicians, ron!”
“Wait a minute,” Seiya stopped him, annoyed. “He did request your firing in a roundabout way. An extremely roundabout way. You deflowered his daughter, after all. He’s not about to forgive you.”
“Wh-What, ron? When did I deflower Adachi? What are you saying?!”
“Apparently, Eiko made it up on the spot during an argument with her father. She said she was dating her superior at work—in other words, you.”
“What the hell?!” Macaron fumed. “I know I’m a highly desirable specimen of manhood, but I’m not some scumbag who goes after college part-timers! That’s Tiramii’s thing, ron!”
“Look, no one’s saying you actually made a pass at her—”
“They basically are, ron!” Macaron argued, his plush wool standing on end. “I’ve never made a pass at any woman in the park! I’ve played it completely straight! I mean, I’m a man, I have urges, but I also have self-control, ron! A real sheep cries his tears inside—that’s my life’s motto! This... this is slander, ron!”
“What are you talking about?” Seiya wanted to know.
“Calm down, fumo,” Moffle said. “No one’s said that you and Adachi Eiko are really fooling around, fumo.”
“Moffle!” Macaron objected.
“This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t fought with Adachi’s fiancé in the first place. Take a little responsibility, fumo.”
“Ron...” Even so, Eiko... Macaron thought. How could you be so cruel? I don’t know what you two were arguing about, but it’s not right to bring my name into it! I’ve lost respect for you!
“Your anger at Adachi-san is perfectly understandable. But she’s also very sorry about what she did. The only reason she’s not here now is because she’s too ashamed to face you.” Noticing the anger in Macaron’s eyes, Isuzu quietly advocated for her. It was unusual behavior from her; was it sympathy for a fellow woman?
“Let’s get back to the subject,” said Seiya, clearing his throat. “Anyway, Mr. Adachi wants Macaron fired, and he wants his daughter to quit working here. I kept at him, hoping to get him to ease off a bit... And I used a somewhat underhanded method to get the truth out of him.”
“What method is that? Did you use a druth nut, ron?”
“Something like that,” Seiya said shortly. “It’s a trade secret.”
“Ahh.”
“Apparently, Mr. Adachi doesn’t actually like her fiancé. Even while he was arguing with his daughter, he was feeling a lot of guilt about it. And he seems to have suspected that the fiancé might have been partly at fault for the fight.”
“Ron. So?”
“So I decided to change up my strategy,” Seiya said, suddenly puffing up with pride. He looked positively triumphant. “Mr. Adachi was only angry because you were a totally unknown quantity. But if that changes, the problem resolves itself. In other words, Macaron, you just need to get Mr. Adachi to approve of you—as Adachi Eiko’s wonderful boyfriend!”
“......Er?”
“Don’t you see? If you present yourself as an unobjectionable match for Eiko, no one can possibly complain. ...Well, the fiancé might complain, but that’s a problem for the Adachi household, not for us.”
“Ron. Erm... you mean... you want me to act like I’m really dating Adachi?”
“Yes,” Seiya confirmed.
“Er, but...”
“Don’t worry, it’ll just be a temporary performance. We can ride out the current problem, buy ourselves some time, then worm our way out of it later.”
“Hrm...”
“I worked hard to convince him of your character, you know. To the point where I got a little disgusted with myself.”
Seiya had described Macaron a very fine young man: His consideration towards children and the elderly! His single-minded passion and constant dedication! The admiration he receives from everyone he works with! Even when a young lady is as refined as Adachi Eiko, how could she help but fall for such a man?
You must understand that we were shocked when we heard about the fight last night. To think of that warm, personable Macaron losing his temper... Not to shift the blame, of course, but is it possible that her fiancé’s attitude might have contributed to the problem? (Not outside the realm of possibility, is it?) Would you consider visiting the park some time and having a look at our Macaron at work? If you’re still not satisfied then, then of course, we’ll be forced to let him go. We urge you to consider it!
“...That’s basically how I did it,” he told them. “And the man seemed to buy it.”
“Moffu. That’s one amazing line of BS you strung out, fumo.”
“It’s not as if I was happy about it,” Seiya admitted. “Lavishing all that praise on Macaron really made my skin crawl.”
“This is mean, you two...” Macaron slumped over.
“Anyway, annoying as that was, he was open to the proposal. He seems like a good man.”
“Moffu. I wonder about that... Bigwigs like him really like to play the nice guy, fumo.” Moffle’s tone was dubious. He probably had bad experiences from his days in the military; even after getting his commission, he still had his superiors he took orders from. Macaron, a sergeant at the time, had seen General Moffle return to base time and again after the Maple Land Army Officers’ Conference with a look of disgust on his face.
“Anyway, Macaron,” Seiya said. “We need you to do this.”
Complaining about it now wouldn’t get him anywhere. If he refused, he’d just be fired. If he lost his source of income, he’d never see his daughter again.
Left without a choice, Macaron nodded. “Ron... What, concretely, should I do?”
“Adachi Eizo is coming to inspect the park. You’re going to show him around. And you’re going to make him like you.”
“Making him like me is easier said than done, ron... but I’ll try my best.” The idea of playing Eiko’s boyfriend, even temporarily, somehow made his back itch. Even more so because... well, he wasn’t blind to the girl’s charms.
“I’ll tell everyone else to cover for you,” Seiya promised. “Just do your best, all right?”
“Got it, ron. So when’s the old jackass coming by, ron?”
“Thursday. He’ll meet us by the employee gate at 12:00 in the afternoon,” Isuzu said.
“Thursday?!” Macaron looked up at the ceiling. “Th-That’s the day that my daughter... that Lalapa is coming! I can’t do it! Pick another day!”
“I can’t,” Seiya said flatly. “He’s a busy man. He had to rearrange his schedule for this once already.”
“No!” Macaron wailed.
“Just change the day of your daughter’s visit,” Seiya ordered him.
“No way, ron! My ex and her lawyer aren’t exactly flexible! And my daughter has her own schedule too, ron!”
“Enough! Just do it! End of conversation!”
“Rooooon!”
In the end, Macaron was forced to email his daughter and ex-wife, apologizing and asking if they could change the time. He got her arrival time changed from 1:00 in the afternoon to 3:00 in the afternoon.
Adachi Eiko’s father was set to show up at 12:00 noon. That only left them with three hours, but he figured he could finish up the tour by then.
It’ll be a real tightrope, but you can make it work! Macaron told himself. Just suck it up and butter up that old man like nobody’s business. Just get him to like you! It’ll be easy! Probably! Then that’ll all be behind us, and you’ll be free and clear to meet Lalapa! You’ll go around and see all the attractions together! Then you’ll take her to dinner at that nice Italian restaurant near Amagi Station! You’ll give her the best day ever!
“Lalapa... I can’t wait to see you!” he whispered.
And so, the day of destiny arrived.
Macaron came to work that morning, fired up and ready to go. Backstage, he ran into Adachi Eiko, who was dressed in casual clothing. She had taken the last few days off because of everything that had happened, and had been expected to take off today too, but...
“Er, Macaron-san.” She must have been waiting for him, as she ran up to him immediately. “I’m so sorry about all the trouble I’ve caused you. Truly, truly sorry.” She bowed to him deeply. Even at times like these, her mannerisms were extremely refined.
“Mm. Well... that’s all right, ron. It’s fine...” he stammered out awkwardly. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t angry at Eiko. Still, he could understand why she’d done what she had, and he knew that his own behavior had been extremely careless.
She was a good girl with such a fine upbringing, and she was clearly ashamed about how her family issues were causing problems for her workplace.
Hmm... Has she lost weight, ron? Macaron wondered. Maybe she’d been having trouble eating. She’d probably never faced a dilemma of this scale before, and it overshadowed her usual leisurely calm. He now felt entirely sorry for her.
“I know that things must seem terrible right now... but I won’t let you be fired, Macaron-san. No matter what happens, I will stop my father.”
“Hmm. I’m glad to have you on my side,” he admitted, “but how are you going to do it?”
“If I have to, I’ll kill my father and then take my own life!” Eiko promised ardently.
“Hey, now!” He wasn’t expecting something so drastic. Maybe it just showed how desperate she was.
“I’ve tried to speak to him several times since then, but he simply won’t listen to me.”
“About our ‘relationship,’ you mean?” Macaron questioned.
“I told him that I had lied—that you were completely innocent. But he wouldn’t believe me. He said that I was just trying to protect you...”
“Hmm...”
“...I never knew that he could be so cruel. I’m so... disappointed in him.” Her voice was gloomy and hollow. Eiko, who usually shone like the sun, now seemed to glow the quiet anguish of the crescent moon.
Hmm, Macaron reflected. I could imagine her really stabbing her father if things came to it. I didn’t know she had that sort of... passion, would you call it? Knowing she had this sordid side to her actually made Macaron like her more. He was always a bit suspicious of women who were nothing but smiles and cheer all the time.
Despite this surprising revelation about her character, Macaron forced himself to take on a breezy tone. “Hey, c’mon. No need to get so worked up about it, ron.”
“But...”
“It’s all right, ron. We can ad-lib our way through. Besides—” Macaron puffed out his chest. “I’m still the Fairy of Music! Improvisation is my specialty, ron!”
“...All right,” she agreed. Still, Eiko’s mood remained clouded.
Just then, Moffle and Tiramii arrived.
“Hey, young lovers,” Moffle sniggered. “Sorry to bother you while you’re... engaged, fumo.”
“Didn’t mean to interrupt the pillow talk, mii. Heh heh heh...”
They seemed to be enjoying themselves. Had they been eavesdropping, too?
“You bastards!” Macaron glowered. “Did you come here just to make fun of us, ron?”
“Sorry about that, fumo. We’re here on orders from Seiya, actually.”
“Orders?”
“There’s gonna be trouble if you try to interact with the old man with just a Lalapatch Charm. They’re usually meant for use outside the park, mii.”
“Oh, that’s right, ron.”
The Lalapatch Charm was a magical item that fairies put on to make the humans around them see them as ordinary people. It was what allowed the denizens of magical realms to leave the park and go out drinking or playing pachinko without attracting undue attention. But wearing them inside the park could lead to trouble.
The charm let you be perceived as “an ordinary person,” but that didn’t mean you appeared to be someone else. It didn’t change your actual appearance. Even with the charm on, Moffle was still Moffle, and Macaron was still Macaron.
If Macaron put on the charm and walked around the park with Papa Adachi, there was a chance that it would wreak havoc with Papa Adachi’s perceptions. All over the park, he’d see the supposedly “ordinary” face of Macaron plastered on signs, and people walking around in costumes based off of him.
Most people might think “that’s rather strange, but oh well,” and remain calm. Children generally had no issue; the same went for young women.
But adult men were a problem— The more skeptical they were of things like ghosts and UFOs, the worse the effects tended to be. For people like that, the sight of the face of “ordinary person” Macaron on signs and in pamphlets would cause a short-circuit in their brains. This led to convulsions in some, headaches in others, and screaming freak-outs in more—they’d been through it quite a few times.
Because of that, Lalapatch Charms weren’t recommended for use within the park itself. Tricen or Wrenchy-kun didn’t have trouble dealing with their mortal contractors that way, because they mostly conducted their business backstage, and also because they were minor characters. The three headliner mascots, though, weren’t really cut out for these client liaisons.
“...Yeah, I guess we can’t use the charm, ron. So what do we do?’
Moffle and Tiramii shared a glance. Then, for some reason, they pulled out a rope and a stun gun, respectively.
“You’re going to come with us to break room B-3, fumo.”
“...?”
“The Iron Phore arrived from Maple Land this morning, mii.”
Macaron’s face went pale.
Seiya and Isuzu were waiting in the break room under Sorcerer’s Hill, when...
“No, no, no! I won’t do it, ron!”
Moffle and Tiramii arrived, dragging with them a screaming and kicking Macaron. He was bound up in ropes from head to toe, while Adachi Eiko followed after, looking completely bewildered.
“Okay, here he is. But I have to say...” Seiya hummed skeptically as he looked up at the massive device that had been brought here earlier. It was a heavy metal casket, studded with bolts. A threatening-looking crest adorned the hinged lid.
But what really sent a chill up his spine was the inside. It was full of spikes—hundreds and thousands of spikes. The inside of the lid was also covered in spikes. Climbing inside and closing the lid would lead to incredible pain, if you didn’t die instantly.
“...It really looks like a torture device from the European Middle Ages,” he concluded. “Is this really going to make him look human?”
“It certainly will,” Isuzu reassured him. “It has the Maple Land Ministry of Health seal of approval. You see? It’s right there.”
Seiya followed her gaze to a small aluminum sticker on one corner of the casket. It was in some strange writing he couldn’t read, but he assumed she was telling the truth.
“This magical device is the fastest way to cause the change. The impacts on his health will be minor, and the transformation can be completed in as little as three minutes. Transformation usually takes a few days, so it’s quite impressive,” Isuzu explained as she flipped through the (surprisingly thin) instruction manual for the casket known as the Iron Phore. “The controls are simple, as well. Simply turn this dial to choose between the three stages: ‘Express’ ‘Normal’ and ‘Thorough.’”
“Sounds a little like a laundry machine...” Seiya observed. “Does it hurt?”
“I’m told that it hurts quite a lot. It’s similar to acupuncture and moxibustion,” Isuzu told him. “But it should be bearable.”
“This is outrageous, ron!” Macaron screamed from where he’d been thrown onto the floor, still bound up in the ropes. “The last time I tried transformation was as a test of courage in high school, ron! It really, really hurts! Once was more than enough already, and then I had to do it again to turn back! I’m not doing it, ron!”
“Yeah, during my days in officer school, the upperclassmen would do it as a hazing ritual, fumo. It was really rough.”
“I’ve never done it, mii. Too scared.”
Moffle and Tiramii both threw in their two cents.
“Sento. Have you ever used one of these?” Seiya asked curiously.
“Certainly not. I’ve never had any reason to.”
“Hmm...” He’d been surprised to learn that Moffle and the other mascots could take on human form if they needed to. Apparently the reverse could also happen, which suggested that Isuzu had her own plush form she could take on. What would Sento Isuzu’s mascot form look like? What about Latifah’s? Or Muse’s? It was an intriguing thought.
“Do you want to see it?” she asked.
“See what?”
“My transformed state.”
“Well... I suppose I am curious,” Seiya admitted.
“...Pervert.”
“What?!” Was that how they took it?! Seiya just stared in confusion while Isuzu turned away, blushing.
Meanwhile, Macaron got even angrier. “Dammit! Can the youth drama and untie me, ron! There’s no chance in hell I’m gonna transfo—”
“Ah, let’s just do it and shut him up, fumo.”
“Roger that, mii!”
“Hey! Stop! R-Roooon!”
Ignoring his protests, Moffle and Tiramii tossed Macaron into the casket, then shut the lid.
“R-R-Ro—ow! Ow, ow! It hurts, ron!” He was probably in pain from the stinging spikes already. Muffled screams emanated from inside the coffin.
“Let’s cut to the chase and use the express setting, fumo. It’ll only take three minutes, fumo.” Moffle turned the dial, then pulled the activation lever. A dazzling light began to pour from various spots on the casket.
“R-Roooooooon! It hurts, it hurts! It hurts, ron! Stop! Stop! Gyaaaaaah!” Macaron screamed from within the casket.
Seiya found himself grimacing. “It sounds painful.”
“The express course is supposed to hurt the most, mii.”
“Hrm...”
“Um, everyone, if I may...!” Eiko, who had been watching from the back of the group, finally spoke up. “This seems... ah, cruel, don’t you think? Er, I’m aware that I’m the one who caused it all, but...”
“Moffu. Don’t you worry.” Moffle waved a paw dismissively. “Macaron’s a tough one, fumo. Just watch and you’ll see... Ah, there we go.”
Macaron was still screaming, in a way that suggested such intense pain that it was hard to listen to. But gradually, his screams had started to mix with dry laughter.
“Rooon! Waaagh! It hurts, it hurts, it hurts! Heh... hehehe! It hurts... hehehehehe!” Then, soon enough, it turned into shrieks of like crying laughter, mixed with aggressive provocations. “It hurts... hehe! Graaauuu?! You... hehe! You ain’t got squat! Hehehehe! Ahh... you think that hurts?! I don’t even feel it, ya bastard! Yeah, turn it up! Gimme the worst ya got! That don’t even tickle, ya dumb mitch!”
“Wow,” Seiya remarked. “He’s really fighting hard.”
“I think he’s getting into it, mii.”
“That’s our Macaron. They don’t call him ‘the delinquent king of LubDub High’ for nothing, fumo.”
“Two minutes left,” Isuzu announced.
Eiko looked flustered, while the two mascots and Isuzu appeared completely at ease.
“Screw you, asshole! Is that the best you got?! I’ll kick your ass, you metal piece of crap!” Macaron’s aggressive screams continued on for two more minutes, at last ending in a leisurely “ding.”
“Time’s up, fumo...”
Accompanied by a rumble (for some reason), the casket opened, billowing smoke.
The man who stepped out was handsome—very handsome.
He appeared to be in his thirties, although he had a youthful air about him that could put him as young as mid-20s. He was fair-skinned, with messy hair; slender with long arms and legs. He wore a white button-up shirt and black slacks, had finely-drawn features and a slight bad-boy manner of comportment.
“Guh... nguh...” The man collapsed onto hands and knees, looking sick to his stomach.
“Oh-ho...” Moffle said in wonder, arms folded. “In all the time I’ve known you, I’ve never seen your human form, fumo. Didn’t think you’d be so scrawny.”
“Yeah, mii! I’m disappointed! I thought you’d be swole...”
“Sh-Shut up, ron,” Macaron(?) whispered. Even his voice had changed; it was mature, yet vibrant.
Shakily, he pulled himself to his feet and wiped the sweat off his brow. He approached the mirror in the break room and peered into it. “Ugh... this is awful.” Macaron(?) clicked his tongue ruefully. “Lalapa won’t recognize me like this... I look like some obnoxious pop idol, ron. Macaronian men are supposed to be strong and dashing...” The “ron” copulas felt out of place coming from that face and voice, but they did increase the likelihood that this was really Macaron.
“Incredible...” Seiya said, dumbstruck. That sheep mascot and this man were one and the same? It made no sense! No sense at all!! “There’s no way... Is this really Macaron? Sento?”
He’d addressed her, but Isuzu wasn’t listening. She was looking even more shocked than Seiya was, standing stock still with her hand over her mouth. “That app... it was right.”
“App? What app?”
“Oh. Nothing...” Isuzu cleared her throat. “He clearly is Macaron, but I’ll confirm it. ...Macaron?”
“Yeah?” The handsome man turned back.
“Tell me your employee ID number.”
“Huh? Uhh... I think it was B-3126, ron. That’s just off the top of my head, though.”
“He’s right,” Isuzu said after checking her tablet.
“Guh...” Seiya felt a shiver run through him. It was like the foundations of his world were crumbling. How could that Macaron be this good-looking?
He’s almost as handsome as I am! Seiya thought. Although, if put to a vote, I’d still win because I’m younger! Yet even then, Macaron would prove a formidable foe...
“Seiya-kun, are you all right?” Isuzu asked him.
“Eh? Wh-Why do you ask?”
“You’re acting like you did when you first saw that specter.”
“Sh-Shut up!” he hissed.
“If you insist...”
There was one other person in the room who was even more shocked than Isuzu. It was, of course, Adachi Eiko. “Macaron-san... is that you?” she asked, breathless.
“Yeah, it’s me. Just don’t stare, okay, ron? This is embarrassing and completely temporary. I’m still the cool, awesome sheep you know and love, so... Hey, what’s with you?”
“Well, I... ah...” Eiko stammered, then lowered her eyes. Her face was bright red. She must have felt like she was gazing at the frog prince, post-kiss.
“...? You’re acting weird, ron.” Macaron just furrowed his brow in response.
“Hmm... Well, what matters is that it worked, fumo.” Moffle clapped his paws decisively. “Let’s open the park, fumo.”
Macaron spent the rest of the morning on light backstage work. Papa Adachi was to arrive at noon, so fifteen minutes before then, he tidied up and headed for the employee entrance.
In the underground passageway, he happened to pass the Aquario girls: Spirit of Water, Muse; Spirit of Fire, Salama; Spirit of Earth, Kobory; and Spirit of Wind, Sylphie. They had just finished their morning performance, and they were probably on their way to the employee cafeteria for lunch.
“Hey,” he said, but this simple greeting was met with suspicion. Kobory responded non-committally, while Salama openly asked, “Who’s that?”
For some reason, though, Muse seemed stunned to see him. “Huh? Ah!” she cried.
“Today’s lunch set A was better than usual, ron. You’d better hurry if you want to grab it.” Macaron didn’t have time for standing and talking, so he just walked on past after that. As he walked away, he could hear the four of them whispering to each other, followed by shrieks of surprise. What’s with them? So annoying, ron...
Waiting at the security center near the employee entrance were Kanie Seiya, Sento Isuzu, and Tricen. Tricen was wearing his Lalapatch Charm— He typically assumed the role of a vice president (without the corresponding salary increase, unfortunately) when dealing with outsiders, and they dragged him out on occasions when the teenage Seiya would be inappropriate.
“I’m here, ron.”
“Sure,” Seiya said, by way of greeting.
“Ohh... Is that you, Macaron-san? I’m compelled to hunch over!” Tricen’s eyes widened in shock.
“You hunch over for everything, ron.”
“Well, as a matter of fact, I don’t swing that way. But even so... I, Tricen, am forced into an ultra-hunch out of shock!”
“Ron...”
“Okay, here’s how we’ll handle this,” Seiya announced decisively. “Sento, Tricen and I will go out to greet him. We’ll introduce you, then we’ll head to the main office, have a little chat, and show him around backstage. We’ll also show him around onstage if he requests it.”
“Got it, ron. Leave it to me, ron.”
Seiya winced in response. “Ugh, that speech tic with that appearance... Can’t you knock it off? It’s seriously unsettling.”
“Are you mocking my Macaronian accent?!” Macaron cried angrily. “This is why you city folk disgust me! You think the way you talk is the only right way, ron! Well puff you, ron!”
“No, I’m not mocking you... Wait, it’s supposed to be an accent?”
“Yeah. Like hell I’m gonna use your froufrou Tokyo accent, ron!”
“...Exactly what kind of place is Macaronia, anyway?” Seiya asked.
“Hmm... if we’re comparing it to Japan, it’s a bit like Kumamoto, I guess?”
He was trying to give a relatable example, but it didn’t seem to sink in for Seiya. “Yeah, I don’t get it,” he confirmed. “But never mind. Anyway, we really need you to make a good impression, so talk normally. Got it?”
“......Got it, ron.”
“Lose the ‘ron,’” Seiya ordered.
“Got it,” Macaron said, adding a rebellious “ron” only in his mind.
They waited. Just before 12:00, Isuzu’s smartphone vibrated. She walked to the corner of the room, had a brief exchange, then hung up. “That was Mr. Adachi. His conference is running long, so he won’t be able to get here until 1:00...”
“What? Hmm... Ah, well, it is what it is. I’m going to grab some lunch.” Seiya, tension deflated, just stretched lightly and left the security center.
“What’s the matter, Macaron?” Isuzu asked.
“I have a bad feeling about this, ron...” He’s going to be an hour late... Even though Lalapa is coming at 3:00!
In fact, Adachi Eizo ended up being an hour and a half late. By the time he arrived, Macaron’s irritation had reached boiling point. If not for Isuzu and Tricen’s repeated urging for him to calm down, he might have started kicking folding chairs.
“Hello, there! I’m sorry for the wait!” Papa Adachi said as he arrived in the employee parking lot. He was around 50 years old, with salt-and-pepper hair, and cut a slim figure in the suit that he wore. “I just couldn’t get out of that conference! I’d assumed it would be brief, but all these niggling little details kept coming up... Anyway, I truly am sorry.”
His manner was surprisingly humble. He didn’t have an assistant or a chauffeur with him, either. He’d driven himself there in a BMW SUV; an expensive car, but not egregiously so. One could say it was a rather modest choice given his status, in fact.
That just makes him more intimidating, though, ron... Macaron thought.
Papa Adachi’s suit looked expensive, too, but he wore it without a tie, perhaps trying to strike a casual air for his visit to an amusement park— Though of course, he was still wearing a million yen watch. All in all, he radiated confidence and professionalism.
It sticks in my craw, Macaron thought. I can’t believe Seiya managed to hash out a deal with this crafty old bastard...
Seiya and Tricen greeted Papa Adachi first, and Tricen bowed to him repeatedly. What Macaron could overhear sounded like “We’re terribly sorry for the trouble our employee has caused...”
Papa Adachi seemed to laugh off Tricen’s solicitousness with a phrase like, “Oh, it’s no problem.”
Seiya then beckoned to Macaron. Before he joined them, Isuzu whispered to him, “We’re counting on you, Macaron.”
“......Fine, ron.”
“No ‘ron,’” she reminded him.
“Fine,” he repeated, once again adding the ‘ron’ in his mind. He’d just have to go back to his army days and think of the man like an officer. Macaron marched up to Papa Adachi, and then bowed to him respectfully. “My name is Magiwa. I’m terribly sorry the recent trouble,” he said, adding another mental “ron.”
Magiwa—full name Magiwa Ichiro—was Macaron’s “mortal world” name, in the same way that Tricen’s was Toride, and Yisuzulch Sentolucia’s was Sento Isuzu.
“Ah, so you’re the infamous Magiwa. I’m Adachi. I appreciate everything you’ve done for my daughter,” Papa Adachi said, in a thoroughly genial tone. He didn’t acknowledge the apology, however. Outwardly, he seemed perfectly cheerful, without the slightest hint of lurking malice.
Oh, come on... Macaron thought. What a liar. I bet he’s really thinking, “You’re the man who put his hands on my daughter!” That’s what I’d be thinking, at least. Ahh, I don’t like this, ron! Everything would have been easier if the man had come here spoiling for a fight, wearing his hostility on his sleeve.
“Well, then, I propose that we head for the conference room,” Seiya suggested.
The move to the general affairs building and the ensuing small talk cost them thirty minutes in total. It was pure niceties; Papa Adachi spoke self-deprecatingly about the stresses of running a hospital, and Tricen did the same about the stresses of running a theme park. One would speak a while, then the other would say “Yes, that sounds hard,” over and over again.
Even though Lalapa will be here in one hour! Macaron fumed.
Seiya had been sitting quietly at the foot of the table, but he may have picked up on Macaron’s irritation, because he chose that moment to try to get them to the core issue. “By the way, regarding Eiko-san...”
“Now, now,” Papa Adachi chided. “There’s no need to rush things, is there, Toride-san?”
“Er? Ah, of course not. I, the humble Toride, fully share your opinion, Doctor,” Tricen agreed cordially.
And so the small talk continued. After another fifteen minutes or so, Papa Adachi stood up. “Well, now... I think I’ll have that tour, if you don’t mind.”
“Certainly. We’ll show you all around our park and your daughter’s place of business!” Tricen stood up, briskly.
“All right, Magiwa-kun!” said Papa Adachi. “Show me around!”
“Of course, sir. This way, please.” Macaron led the group out of the room, fighting the urge to go into a sprint.
Macaron’s annoyance was crystal clear to Seiya. It was 2:30 PM, after all— His daughter, Lalapa, would be arriving in just thirty minutes.
Of course, for now, he was keeping up the image of a soft-spoken young man, showing the group all around the park’s backstage area, and explaining the ins and outs of the various jobs. “...This is the wardrobe section. It’s where we design, produce, and adjust the costumes and props used by the various cast members.”
“Well, well,” Papa Adachi said, “it looks very clean.”
“We just opened it last month,” Macaron was saying. “Prior to that, we were having the person in charge of each attraction handle their own costumes... but that was inefficient, and it resulted in a lack of uniformity. So now we have specialists on staff to manage and coordinate everything.”
“How many staff?”
“It’s still in the trial stages, so only five at the moment,” Macaron told him. “We outsource the cleaning of the costumes.”
“Did you ever consider outsourcing all of it?” Papa Adachi questioned. “That might be cheaper.”
It was a rather mean-spirited question— Seiya was about to answer, but Macaron stopped him and continued his explanation. “You’re absolutely right that it would keep costs down. But our costumes and props—just like our structures and music—are deeply connected to the park’s image. We could hardly keep that image consistent if we outsourced it to some company that doesn’t know what we do here. It would complicate rights issues, as well, so in the long run, it’s actually riskier.”
“Hmm...”
“To put it in hospital terms, it would be like outsourcing the selection and maintenance of your medical devices and drugs,” Macaron pointed out. “Surely you want to be in charge of your own tools, don’t you, Dr. Adachi?”
“Ah... well, yes, certainly.”
“We feel the same way. It’s just more comfortable for us to put them in the care of someone on-site, with whom we can achieve an immediate understanding. It helps us do our work better.”
Tricen stared in disbelief. So did Isuzu.
Even Seiya found himself dumbstruck; Macaron had managed to say exactly what he’d been about to say, himself. Where the hell did that come from? he wondered. Is this really Macaron? He didn’t just trade place with some hot guy in that casket?
“I see. That makes perfect sense.” Dr. Adachi folded his arms and nodded appreciatively. Then, with some abashment, he said, “...Ah, excuse me. Could you tell me where the bathroom is?”
Tricen chimed in, “Yes, sir! Right this way!” and left, leading Papa Adachi behind him. It seemed like an odd duty for the “vice president” to be performing, but Seiya wasn’t about to stop him.
“......” As Tricen moved into the distance, Macaron let out a loud click of his tongue, unable to hide his irritation any longer. “That guy really gets my goat, ron. Why does he care about our new wardrobe department? Guhhh, I want a smoke!”
“I’m sorry,” Isuzu told him apologetically, “but you’ll have to refrain.” I am curious, though, how you managed to explain all that... Even Dr. Adachi seemed surprised by it.”
Macaron just shrugged. “What’s that supposed to mean? You thought I was stupid or something, ron?”
“Yes,” she told him bluntly.
“Roooon! I might not have much education, but even I could figure that out! I’m still an entertainer, you know! You think I can’t handle a little ad-libbing?”
“...Is that how that works?”
“Isuzu-chan, try to catch a variety show some time,” Macaron said exasperatedly. “Entertainers need to think on their feet to make a living. It’s a talent called ‘communication!’”
It was true; Seiya could vouch for that from his own past experiences. Macaron seemed to have spotted Seiya’s astonishment and grinned, his eyes narrowing. Even though his appearance had changed, those were the eyes of the ovine Macaron he knew.
“What is it, Kanie-kun?” Macaron asked innocently. “Are you impressed by me? Ron?”
“Shut up. ...Besides, if you know all that, why are you always sleeping and goofing off during our meetings?!”
“Rooon...” Macaron turned away indifferently and started whistling. His attitude just made it all even more infuriating.
Yeah, that’s Macaron, Seiya thought. I won’t doubt it again...
“Ridiculous...” Isuzu scoffed. “Anyway, what time is it now? You’re in a hurry, aren’t you?”
“Th-That’s right, ron!” Macaron suddenly turned pale, seeming only now to remember that his daughter was on the way. “I have less than thirty minutes, ron. What’ll I do?! I promised I’d be waiting at the front gate with flowers!”
“Of course you’d promise something like that...” Seiya muttered.
“Looking like a sheep, of course!” Macaron said, beginning to panic.
“Well, I guess that is your default...”
“Ugh... Lalapa! Lalapa!”
“Calm down, Macaron,” Isuzu told him. “We’ll have someone else meet her at the gate. They can tell her you’re busy with work and have her wait a little while.”
“But, but...!”
“What is your duty right now?” Infuriated, Isuzu pulled out her musket and pressed the barrel against his chest.
“Er... to make the old fart like me, ron...”
“It might not be going perfectly, but you could still succeed,” she said. “You’ve managed it this far, you know? You need to remember the position you’re in.”
“Ron...”
“Ah, sorry about that!” Papa Adachi announced his return, causing the group to lock up, startled. “What are we all talking about?”
“Th-That was fast...”
The three were standing there: Macaron (human form) with a gun pointed at him, talking about ‘the old fart’ and ‘duty.’ It seemed like a difficult situation to justify, but Seiya did so instantly. “Ah, you see... This is a... a rehearsal for a show we’re starting next month.”
“Yes, yes! That’s what it is, ron!”
“Ron?” the doctor asked.
“Oh, sorry. ‘That’s what it is,’ I meant to say,” Macaron amended. He straightened up, struggling to hold onto his cool.
“I see,” Papa Adachi said agreeably. “...Well then, Magiwa-san, I’d love to see your place of business.”
“B-Business?” Macaron stuttered.
“You know. Ah... Macaron’s Music Theater, wasn’t it?”
“Ah, yes...”
“You play so brilliantly, it’s hard to believe you’re just a man in a costume. The violin, the flute... I saw it on a video site. I’d love to see a live performance.”
The old man had done his research. They had underestimated him.
“He’d be happy to give you one,” Seiya said. “Let’s go,” and led him along readily enough.
This was trouble, though. Macaron was currently in human form, and his performance in those videos was physically impossible for a mere person in a costume. In other words, he couldn’t just put on a Macaron suit and perform the way Papa Adachi was expecting. Which meant...
“No, no, no, ron!” Macaron cried. “I’m never transforming again, ron!”
They went straight to break room B-3. Isuzu and Tricen had remained onstage to entertain Papa Adachi, while Moffle and Tiramii pinioned Macaron (human form) and pushed him into the Iron Phore. He thrashed and struggled so hard they had a hard time getting the lid on.
“Kanie-kun, you’re a monster, ron!” he howled. “This is a violation of my human rights!”
“What do you want me to do?!” Seiya demanded. “He researched us in advance! We can’t show him a half-hearted performance!”
“But still—!”
“Just start it up!” Seiya ordered.
“Rooooooon!”
Working together, the three of them managed to shove the lid closed, then initiated the “Express” transformation.
“Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! It hurts, it hurts, rooooon! It hurts, I... hahaha, hahaha! Ahh, bring it on! Yeah, give it to me! I-It hurts... naw, it don’t hurt, ya friggin’ jackass! C’mon, just try an’ take me! What’s wrong, huh?! Why don’t you put your back into it?!?!”
“I think he’s found a groove,” Seiya observed.
“Yeah. I’m impressed, fumo.”
Three minutes passed. The “Iron Phore” let out a clank as the lid opened. Steam rose from the casket, and Macaron crawled out in his familiar sheep form.
“Whew... It’s annoying, but I really do feel better this way, ron. I’m taller in human form and it’s so disorienting...”
“Mr. Adachi’s waiting,” Seiya reminded him. “Let’s hurry.”
“Uggh... I wanna kill that old man...” Dragged along by Moffle and Tiramii, Macaron hurried to the Music Theater.
After various renovations, Macaron’s Music Theater had at last settled into a venue that was primarily about concerts. The 20-person cars remained in place, but they had cut out half of the “World Music” section and used the extra time and space to hold live shows starring Macaron. Macaron came by personally to play live music several times a day, while at other times they used holograms and actors in costumes to muddle through. Those performances were perfectly enjoyable, but Macaron’s playing was the real draw.
He had dedicated fans who would try to time their visits just to catch Macaron’s occasional personal performances. The times when the “good Macaron” (in other words, the real Macaron) would be appearing were kept tightly under wraps. Some days you’d see him three times a morning, while other days he barely showed at all. It was a bit like a loot crate strategy, and it got them repeat business, so they had kept it up. The result was that the Music Theater was now second in popularity only to the House of Sweets.
“I’m here, ron! Welcome to my Music Theater!” Macaron called out grandly from the stage. “Now, let’s all have some fun!”
Papa Adachi was sitting in the car that provided the spectator seats, with Isuzu and Tricen sitting on either side of him.
Incidentally, when interacting with guests outside of their attractions, the mascots generally weren’t allowed to say anything except “Moffu” and “Ron” and the like; but within their attractions, that prohibition was lifted. They could just pretend as if it was a voice actor working through a speaker, after all.
“We have a special guest today!” Macaron announced. “He’s the director of our park’s good friend, Amagi Hospital! Let’s give him a round of applause!”
The guests clapped, and Papa Adachi waved, grinning awkwardly.
“So if you get overstimulated and pass out during my concert, don’t worry, ron! We’ve got a doctor right here!” Macaron declared, and the guests roared with laughter. “Now, let’s get this party started!”
The music began.
Today’s show would be a thrash metal assault. Macaron started with a throbbing guitar, then he pounded the drums. He slammed the bass drum hard and fast, channeling Lars Ulrich. You see that, Papa Adachi? I can play percussion, too. That violin and flute stuff you saw on the site was just a hobby. Although my real passion isn’t music, but rap... Even though no one lets me do it, for some reason...
“Rooooooooon!” As if to cast away his frustration, he capped off the performance by tossing the cymbals with all his might.
It was such a violent performance that most of the guests were stunned. But after a moment, they erupted in thunderous applause.
“Thanks, ron! Come back and see us again!” He waved, then ran backstage where Seiya, Moffle, and Tiramii were waiting. They immediately tied him up again.
“Mr. Adachi is going to come backstage soon,” Seiya explained.
“Ron. You can’t mean...”
“You need to go back to your human form and put a costume on before he gets there. We can’t prove it was you playing unless you take it off in front of him,” Seiya said, sounding like the cool-headed leader of a secret police. “Hurry.”
“Moffu! Forgive us!”
“R-Ron!” Macaron resisted, but Moffle and Tiramii held him tight and dragged him back to the break room. He was cast once again into the Iron Phore.
Three minutes went by on “Express” mode, followed by a ding.
“Gyaaaaaaaaaaaah! It hurts, it hurts, it hurts (abridged)... Hehehe, that tickles! Dammit! Yeah, bring it on, do yer worst, dammit!”
The transformation was complete; Macaron was back to his mild-mannered human form.
Tiramii proffered the standard employee Macaron costume to the exhausted man. “Here you go! Your costume, mii! Put it on so you can take it off in front of Papa Adachi, mii!”
“Rooon... There’s something physiologically revolting about wearing a costume of myself, ron... How can you do this to me?”
“Like I care,” Seiya scoffed. “Hurry up!”
While Macaron tottered around in the unfamiliar suit, they quickly pulled him along to the Music Theater’s backstage area.
Dr. Adachi was already there, waiting. “My, what a wonderful performance!” He clapped enthusiastically. He really seemed to have enjoyed Macaron’s playing.
“Er... I’m honored,” Macaron (human form) responded, taking the head off the suit.
“It was hard to believe you were a man in a costume,” Dr. Adachi told him earnestly. “How exactly does it work?”
“Well, that’s... err...” Seiya struggled for words.
“The performance uses a combination of cutting-edge technologies,” Macaron spoke up quickly. “The costume uses a semi-Master/Slave system. It has a number of actuators mounted inside.”
“Actuators?” the doctor questioned.
“Conductive shape-memory polymers,” Macaron told him. “They allow for far subtler motions than servo motors. The sensors read the movement of the person inside the suit and execute their intentions perfectly. It’s like how your smartphone has the ability to predict your kanji conversions when you’re inputting Japanese text, you know?”
“I see... what remarkable technology,” Dr. Adachi said thoughtfully.
“It’s expensive and hard to maintain, so we can only prepare one for each mascot.” Macaron’s ad-libbing was truly impressive. Had he seen it in some anime or novel? He’d said he liked building Gunpla, so perhaps he had acquired some knowledge about the field of robotics from that.
Mr. Adachi’s eyes glinted. “But... from this angle, it appears to be an ordinary costume. Could I have a look inside?”
“Ah, no, I don’t think...” Macaron stammered and stepped backward.
That was right. The costume he was wearing right now was still the standard one. The only thing it had inside was a battery to run the cooling system during the summer. If Adachi got a close look at the internals, he would immediately realize they were lying.
Seiya cut in between them. “Very sorry, but that’s a trade secret. We can’t reveal it to outsiders.”
“I see... excuse me, then.” Mr. Adachi backed off politely.
“Now, let us continue! Our park has many more wonderful attractions to offer!” Tricen suggested, forcing his tone into a cheerful one. Mr. Adachi showed no signs of offense and walked along obediently with Tricen and Isuzu.
More wandering around? Seiya was hoping that after seeing the show, he’d be satisfied and willing to get on with negotiations. However, it seemed Mr. Adachi was extremely interested in “observation.”
“Er, excuse me,” Macaron said to Mr. Adachi. “I have a few minor tasks I need to take care of. Could you go on without me? I’ll catch up with you later.”
“Yes, of course. I’ll see you then.” Mr. Adachi smiled at him brightly as he left the backstage greenroom.
“...What are you doing?” Seiya asked him in a whisper.
Macaron hissed back as he threw off his costume, “I can’t take it anymore! My daughter is going to be in Entrance Square, ron! I have to go see her!”
It was currently 2:51—eight minutes until their promised meeting time.
“Wait. You’re supposed to entertain Mr. Adachi—”
“I know, ron! I really will be right back!” Macaron sprinted for the break room.
“Y-You really wanna do this, mii?” Tiramii asked.
“Just do it, ron!”
This was no time for whining. Macaron (human form) leaped into the Iron Phore, shut the lid, and ordered Tiramii to hit the switch. “Gyaaaaaaaaaaah! Yeah, bring it on, dammit! That don’t hurt a bit, ya stupid bastard!” He endured the pain, screaming his way through. The magical needles pierced mystical pressure points in his body, extracting great pain as a price for the changes they induced.
There was a ding, and the transformed sheep appeared from within. “Huff... whew...”
“Macaron. You okay, mii?”
“The manual says to limit transformations to three a day, fumo,” Moffle warned him. Even he was starting to get concerned at this point.
“Whew... huff... I can’t worry about that right now, ron. I’ll just gut it out, ron.” It was 2:59. He grabbed the flowers he’d prepared in advance, then staggered his way out of the break room.
“Oh, right. We asked Adachi to show Lalapa around, fumo.”
“She said ‘Please let me help somehow,’ and looked really sad, mii. It seemed like perfect timing, so I left it to her, mii.”
“I... I see... Thanks, ron!” It really is good to have friends, Macaron thought as he ran for the gate to the underground passage. “Ngh... Lalapa’s waiting, ron!”
“Good luck, fumo.”
“Mii.”
The two saw him off with an easygoing air.
Macaron dashed from backstage to Entrance Square. His daughter was standing at a kiosk with Adachi Eiko, playing with a Moffle mask and cackling. She didn’t seem to have noticed him yet.
“Lalapa...” It was his first time seeing her in two whole years.
She’d matured so much since he last saw her. She’d become a lovely young lady, with long arms and legs, a slender waist, brown hair that fell just to her shoulders, and an energetic air.
Her skin was as white as porcelain, her wide eyes a charming almond shape. She was a classic Macaronian beauty. He’d been worried she’d look exactly like her mother, but the color of her eyes and her hair were just like his.
“Lalapa!” He called his daughter’s name.
Given that they were onstage, this of course drew shocked looks from the nearby guests, but Macaron ignored them all as he ran up to his daughter. He was just so emotional!
“Hey, Dad.” Lalapa noticed him and smiled, while Eiko gave him a small bow. “Look! It’s a mask of Uncle Moffle. Isn’t it hilarious?”
Lalapa’s manner was shockingly indifferent. They hadn’t seen each other in two years, but here she was, acting like he’d just run off to fetch ice cream.
“Ron...”
“I don’t see any masks of you, though, Dad. Are you like, not that popular or something?”
“R-Ron... Never mind that. Lalapa! I’ve missed you so much, ron!”
“Oh, yeah? I’ve been okay, actually.”
“O.........Okay, ron?”
“Yeah. Okay.”
“A-Anyway... these are for you, ron!” Macaron said, offering her the flowers. They were white roses, the kind Lalapa had loved since she was little. He’d had them ordered just for today.
“Hey, thanks. But I can’t really walk around with those, so... You hold onto them, Dad.”
“Ah... right. L-Lalapa... I thought you loved white roses, ron.” He still remembered that little girl Lalapa... Four or five years old, when she still looked like a sheep...
“When I grow up, I’m gonna marry Daddy, ron!” Her eyes had shone, and she spoke to him in her cute Macaronian accent. “So when you propose, cover the whole floor in white roses! I love white roses, ron! Promise, ron!” It was that memory that had led him to prepare white roses for today.
But the Lalapa before him now just smiled awkwardly at the flowers. “Hmm... Yeah, I did when I was little. Not so much now.”
“I... I see... I should have done more research, ron. I’m sorry.”
“Eh, no big.”
“But Lalapa, the way you’re talking... wh-what happened, ron? You sound like a mortal city-dweller.”
“Huh? Well, I mean, the Macaronian accent’s just so lame.”
“N-Not true, ron!”
“Nobody talks that way anymore, even in Maple Land schools. ...So, where to first? You’re gonna show me around, right?”
“Ron. W-Well...” Macaron clenched his hooves tight. What he really wanted to do was cast everything else aside and walk around the park with Lalapa. But he had a duty—an important duty. A duty to butter up the man who could bring the park down!
“I’m sorry, ron,” he said, mustering up his courage. “I have a little more work to do... I’ll be back soon, so please let Adachi-san show you around for a while longer. Okay, ron?” He was worried that she would be angry, but surprisingly, the news didn’t seem to faze her in the slightest.
“Oh, okay,” Lalapa said. “Sure, we’ll do that.”
“I t-tried to get out of it, but I couldn’t, ron. Please, Lalapa. Don’t take it personally...”
“Seriously, it’s fine. Me and Eiko-san are having lots of fun together. Right?”
“Well, I suppose...” Eiko pasted on a smile. Perhaps she was being considerate of him. “I’m sorry, Macaron-san. I promise to keep her safe. Please, go on.” Eiko bowed to him deeply.
“Eiko-san, you don’t have to bow to that old geezer! He’s just your boss, right?”
“Ro...” ‘That old geezer’ she had said. Macaron locked up, speechless with shock.
“But Lalapa-san...” Eiko attempted.
“Look, it’s fine! Just go already, Dad.” Lalapa made a shooing motion, like she was driving off sheep.
“L-Lalapa...”
“Just go already.”
“Ah... right. But I’ll be back soon, ron. I mean it, ron!” he insisted, spurred on by feelings of guilt.
“Yeah, I get it. How long will you be?”
“Er... Forty... no, how about thirty minutes?”
“Okay. Thirty minutes?”
“Wait for me. I’ll be right back, ron!” Clutching his white rose bouquet, Macaron dashed for the employee door.
He’d put in a call to Tiramii, and the Pomeranian was waiting for him in the break room when he arrived.
“How’d it go, mii?”
“Ah, er...” he dissembled. “It was a... touching reunion, ron. Anyway, I need to get back to Papa Adachi, so I’ll take the express course, ron.” He shoved the flowers into Tiramii’s arms and flopped into the Iron Phore. The needles pricked him hard, but he didn’t care.
“A-Are you sure, mii?”
“Just do it, ron!”
“R-Roger that, mii...” He snapped down the lid and hit the switch.
“Graaaaah! Bring it on! Bring it on, ron! Ya big pussy! Ahaha... hahahaha!” The pain was a relieving, in a way. Lalapa... In his mind, he had imagined them running to each other, and sharing a tearful embrace. But in reality, she had kept him at arms’ length. What went wrong? he wondered. Have I... Have I done something wrong? Iron Phore! Torture me, ron! “Ahaha, hahahahahahaha!”
Three minutes passed, and then there was a ding: Transformation complete. He was once again a gentle-faced human male.
“Macaron... are you sure you’re okay, mii? You were sounding a little more unhinged in there than usual, mii...”
“I’m fine, ron. See you later, ron.” Macaron (human form) said, his eyes hollow.
“Mii. Wait!”
“...?” Macaron waited.
“...Maybe I’m overthinking it, but when you write it ‘Macaron (human form)’ it makes you sound like a monster from a tokusatsu art book, or maybe a strategy guide, mii. Like there’s going to be a Macaron (perfect form) or a Macaron (final form), mii... What I’m saying is, you’re putting out real ‘final boss’ vibes right now, mii...”
“Ahh, well... I really couldn’t care less about that, ron...” Spitting out the words, Macaron (human form) mussed his brown hair with his hands and left the break room.
“Sorry I’m late!” He caught up to Papa Adachi’s group in the back room at Aquario, and bowed low in apology.
“Magiwa-san,” Papa Adachi greeted him. “Did you take care of your business?”
“Yes. I had to adjust the audio equipment at another attraction and it ended up taking a while... I’m very sorry for the trouble.”
“Oh, that’s all right. I’ve really been enjoying myself,” Papa Adachi said with a bright smile. They had apparently watched one of the Aquario shows, and he must have enjoyed that quite a lot.
The elemental spirits had nice bodies and wore revealing costumes, and the show was very popular with fathers. Macaron felt grateful to the girls.
“Well, let’s move on. Would you like to try another area? Wild Valley or Splash Ocean, perhaps?” Seiya asked. He was hoping that, after all they’d been through, he’d be ready to say “No, I’ve seen enough,” but—
“Hmm, let me think... Yes, let’s do it,” Papa Adachi said without any particular explanation of his reasoning. “Of course, you’ll be my guide, won’t you, Magiwa-san?”
“Yes, certainly. This way, if you please...” Macaron said with a stiff smile.
They left Sorcerer’s Hill and moved on to Splash Open.
“Splash Ocean is an ocean-themed area, all pirate ships and submarines. There’s also a large pool that’s only open in summer. We have plans to build a dome over it to keep it open all year round, but that’s still in the testing stages...” Though his explanation came out smoothly, Macaron was fighting with his inner annoyance.
Lalapa is waiting! he thought. You don’t need me for this everyday crap! I bet he’s just trying to sniff me out! What are you, an editor taking a new writer to a hostess club?!
After walking around several of the attractions, Macaron looked at the time, then cast a glance at his smartphone, then whispered a theatrical, “Ah, darn it.”
“Magiwa-san,” Papa Adachi asked, “is something the matter?”
“Sorry, another one of my workers needs my help with something,” Macaron said apologetically.
“Oh?”
“I’ll be right back. Tric—er, Toride-san will show you around while I’m gone. I’ll be right back, I promise. Goodbye!”
It was, of course, complete and utter nonsense. The real issue was that it was almost 3:30.
Macaron ran to the Sorcerer’s Hill break room and dove into the Iron Phore. “Do it, ron!” he shouted, closing the lid with an air of desperation. Tiramii, who had been on standby, looked deeply concerned, but... “Just do it, ron!”
“R-Roger that, mii!” He hit the switch.
“Graaaaah, hngaaaaah! (abridged) It d-don’t hurt at all, you damn piece of crap!” Transformation complete. He was a sheep again.
“Be back later, ron!”
“See you, mii...”
Lalapa and Eiko seemed a bit giddy as they got down off of Thrill Coaster: Blackout. Blackout was a major renovation of their earlier coaster; as the name suggested, it pounded the guests with Gs just short of the safety limit. It did spins and loops at such speeds that it concentrated the blood in the riders’ lower halves, sometimes causing them to lose consciousness. It was enough that they were obligated to provide G-suits, which used air pressure to restrict blood flow to a person’s legs.
It was said that there were fanatics who would ride the coaster upside down to experience a redout (a blood rush to the head that turned field of vision red)... but that was likely just a silly rumor, of course.
“Ah, that was fun!” Lalapa smiled cheerfully at Eiko, seeming to have enjoyed the powerful scream machine.
“Lalapa!” Macaron called out. “Sorry I’m late, ron!”
“Oh. Hey, Dad. Back already?” Lalapa’s manner remained distant. “So, where do you want to go?”
“Ah, well... actually...” he huffed, “I still have a little more work to take care of, ron...”
“Oh. Cool.” Lalapa still wasn’t angry. Though he might feel better if she were...
Eiko looked worried, but seemed to think this was a family affair, so she simply looked on without comment.
“I’ll be right back, ron! I’ll be right back, ron!”
“When?” Lalapa asked.
“Um... in about thirty minutes!”
“Okay,” she said. “But it’s no big deal if it’s after.”
“I’m sorry, Lalapa. I didn’t mean for it to be like this, ron...”
“It’s fine, just go on.”
“Roooon!” Macaron ran backstage, weeping. An email from Isuzu informed him that Papa Adachi and the others were heading down the underground passage towards Wild Valley. Hurry, hurry! I need to finish the talks with that old man!
“Sorry for the wait!” He caught up with the group, shoulders heaving. For some reason, they were staring at him, wide-eyed. “I’m so sorry. There was a complaint, and it took forever to deal with it... But everything’s fine now. I can lead the tour again... eh?”
“Magiwa-san... is that you?” Papa Adachi stared at him dubiously. Seiya looked absolutely furious.
At last, Macaron finally realized it: He was still in his fleecy sheep form. “Roooon!” He had forgotten to transform. “Oh, er... I’m sorry about that... I was in such a hurry, I forgot to take off my costume...”
“You were dealing with complaints in-costume?” Papa Adachi questioned.
“Yes... well... It was a special kind of complaint,” Macaron explained. “There was a family with children who wanted a face-to-face with Macaron...”
It was an unconvincing excuse, but Papa Adachi didn’t press him on it. “Ah-ha. That sounds hard.”
“I’ll take it off now. Just wait five... no, four minutes!” He didn’t even wait for an answer before dashing off. He leaped into the casket in the break room. “Do it, ron!”
“Got it, mii.”
“Graaaaah! (abridged)” Ding. Transformation complete. “Huff... huff...”
“Maybe you should take it easy, mii...”
“Shut up! I’m fine! He ran towards Wild Valley in human form.
When he caught up with the tour group, he found Papa Adachi looking at him in concern. “Magiwa-san... are you all right? You’re looking pale... and your eyes are bloodshot.
“Er... I just... didn’t get enough sleep last night,” Macaron said hastily. “Shall we?”
“Maybe you should lie down?”
“I said I’m fine, ron!”
“Excuse me?” Papa Adachi said.
“Ah, nothing. It’s fine. I’m sorry,” Macaron apologized. “Let’s keep going.”
“......” Papa Adachi made no reply.
They gave him a whirlwind tour around Wild Valley. Macaron’s explanations remained smooth, but his eyes were glazed over and his movements were so mechanical that it was putting the entire group on edge. Time passed, and his 30 minute promise to Lalapa came due. Papa Adachi said he wanted to see other places besides Wild Valley.
“Of course. But... if you’ll excuse me, I’m being called away again...”
“Ah... yes. I see.” Papa Adachi, cowed by the sheer despair in Macaron’s tone, simply nodded his approval.
“I’ll be back soon. Goodbye.” He dashed to the break room. He screamed in pain. Three minutes, ding. Sheep again.
“M-Macaron...”
“See you later, ron!”
Eiko emailed him their present location. They were enjoying the attractions in Splash Ocean.
“Lalapa!” Ignoring the gazes of the other guests, he ran right for her.
“I-I’m really sorry, ron. It’s just... work keeps coming up...”
“Look, just forget it,” Lalapa said with a groan.
“Huh?”
“If you’re too busy, you don’t have to be here. I’ll just wander a little more and then go.”
“L-Lalapa... Don’t be like that. Please... wait a little while longer, ron. I just have a very important job to do right now, ron. The future of the park depends on it...”
“I know, and I get it,” she replied shortly. “So just forget it. I’m not a kid anymore. You’re busy with work, right? So don’t sweat it.”
“Lalapa...”
“I only came because Mom nagged me into it. You’ve done your big fatherly duty, right? So I’m gonna go. See you.” She turned around and started to walk off. Eiko seemed flustered, but told Macaron that she’d handle it and followed after Lalapa.
“Oh, no...” Macaron fell to his knees and sat emptily in place.
At last, Macaron dragged himself back to Dr. Adachi. The group was currently backstage at Astro City.
“I’m sorry I’m late,” Macaron whispered, downcast. The whole group looked confused.
“Magiwa-san?” Papa Adachi was confused again. “Weren’t you going to take that off?”
“What? Ahh...” He finally realized it. He’d been so depressed, he’d forgotten to transform in the Iron Phore. He currently looked like a sheep. “Well... who even cares what I look like,” he muttered indifferently.
Even the mild-mannered Dr. Adachi couldn’t help but take offense.
“M-Magiwa-kun. Please!” Tricen, playing the role of vice president, scolded him. “Dr. Adachi is taking time out of his busy schedule to see our park! And you keep leaving your post! Don’t you realize how rude you’re being? What’s come over you?” Tricen was probably trying to cover for him. It wasn’t much of a cover, but that, too, was typical of Tricen. “Dr. Adachi, forgive us. Magiwa-kun here is very industrious, and he’s popular with the work force, and it seems today has just been no end of trouble...”
“No, that’s all right,” Papa Adachi told them. “I think I’m finally getting a handle on what kind of man he is.”
“Ah...” Tricen hedged. “Could you be more specific...?”
“At the very least, time management doesn’t seem to be one of his skills. Dr. Adachi shrugged. “He seems to be a master of making speeches, though... Yes, it would be easy enough for someone like that to take in a wide-eyed, innocent girl.” They were words steeped in venom.
It was clear now that Dr. Adachi had never cared for Macaron; he’d only put on a genial face so he could spend the whole time searching for flaws. And now, he was saying, he’d found more than enough.
“Ah, Dr. Adachi,” Tricen began, “please allow us to apologize—”
“No, thank you. I’ve seen enough,” Dr. Adachi said dismissively. “I appreciate you giving up your precious time. You do have a very nice park, but it’s not a suitable environment for my daughter. It seems to be full of bad influences.”
“Dr. Adachi, he’s an important part of the park. Please, just get to know him a bit better...” Seiya tried to mediate, but Dr. Adachi wasn’t having it.
“I’d like to be shown to the exit, if you please. And regarding him... I expect you to take appropriate measures.” What Papa Adachi was really saying was, “Fire him, and be prepared for the consequences if you don’t.”
Seiya and Tricen tried to stop him.
“Sir, I beg of you...”
“I hunch over in supplication! He’s a very good employee, really!”
“Enough,” Papa Adachi said coldly. “Please, don’t waste any more of my time.”
“You’re a joke, ron.” Macaron hissed out, causing the whole group to go silent. “You think I’m just gonna stand here and let you trash me? Hey, you old geezer... Who do you think you are, ron?”
“Stop it, Maca—Magiwa,” Tricen tried.
“Shut the ron up!” Macaron kicked over a nearby stack of traffic cones. “Listen up, jackass... if you weren’t some city council bigwig, I woulda popped you one ages ago! You like bossin’ people around, huh, ron?! You’re just some pain-in-the-ass crapsack I wouldn’t give the time of day!”
“Stop!” Seiya bellowed.
“Like hell I’ll stop! This old pissbag wasn’t ever gonna listen, ron! We shouldn’t have wasted our time, ron!” You guys tortured me over and over and over, and I took it! I just took it! But now I’m done!”
“Magiwa-san. Is this the real you?” Dr. Adachi questioned.
“Huh? The real me? You stupid or somethin’? This ain’t the half of it! Now hold your punk ass right where it is so I can give you the rest!” He began stalking towards Dr. Adachi.
Isuzu was about to pull out her musket, but Seiya stopped her. Tricen moved to hold Macaron back, and Seiya quickly joined him.
“Please calm down, Macaron-san!” Tricen begged.
“Lemme go, asshole! You—” Macaron struggled, but Tricen held fast. He was surprisingly strong—but then, he was a triceratops.
While they struggled, Isuzu put herself between Macaron and Dr. Adachi. She was likely prepared to pull out her gun and fire if she had to.
Shit, I missed my chance, Macaron thought furiously. I shoulda just laid into him from the start, ’stead of talking... “Y-You don’t even care about your own damn daughter! You strut around here like you’re hot shit, ron! But you shoulda been beating down her door to apologize, ron!”
“What did you say?” Papa Adachi asked incredulously.
“You piss me the hell off, ron! You started this whole shitshow by sticking Eiko with that spoiled jackass Shuichi! Making that poor girl marry that little brat?! What kind of father even does that, ron?!” Macaron demanded. “You’re a sorry excuse for a dad! I’ve got my own daughter, and I’d die before I put her through that, ron!”
“Y-You have a daughter of your own, and you still went after Eiko?! You—”
“I didn’t, ron, and you damn well know it!” Macaron scoffed. “You ever listen to your daughter, puke-for-brains?! Try to think about how she feels, ron!” Then, mid-shout, he realized something. Ah, that’s right. That’s right. Did I ever think about my own daughter’s feelings? I was so upset by her behavior that I never even tried...
“L-Lalapa... Lalapa... oh... ohhh, roooooon!” Suddenly, tears were forming in his eyes. His body went limp. His daughter was gone.
It was supposed to be the best day of his life, and it had ended up being the worst. His whole stupid act had left him with nothing, too. Now this rich asshole was going to storm off and take his anger out on the park. There was no telling how low he might sink. The thought that his friends at the park might suffer because of him was one thing Macaron couldn’t bear— He had at least that much nobility.
He was going to have to leave the park. But he couldn’t quit voluntarily; he had to let the park fire him. If possible, it would be best if Seiya ordered it right now (although for appearances, Tricen should be the one to say it). He cast a glance at Seiya and gave him a small nod.
“......” It seemed Macaron’s meaning had gotten though. But Seiya also looked conflicted. Was he thinking about the blowback of losing his park’s number two cast member? Or was it his personal feelings coming to bear?
Either way, Macaron knew what was coming. Kanie Seiya was their acting manager. He was ready to make these kinds of tough decisions. That’s right! If you try to stand up for me now, I’ll lose all respect for you, ron!
Seiya closed his eyes and swallowed hard, pursed his lips and steadied himself. “Dr. Adachi,” he said at last. “I think Magiwa here is just a little bit flustered. But... after a display like that, I don’t think we have much of a choice. As you requested, I’ll have him fi—”
“N-No... wait a minute.” Papa Adachi interrupted him.
“What?”
“Could I talk with Magiwa-san alone? Just he and I.”
Evening had fallen over the park. The two fathers, Macaron and Dr. Adachi, sat facing each other inside the great wheel. The sunset sky spread out around them, as far as the eye could see. Beneath them lay the Tama Hills in early summer.
“...Two old men sharing a ride on a Ferris wheel, huh? How’d we end up like this, ron?” Macaron muttered to himself, swinging his legs.
Dr. Adachi gazed into the distance for a time. Then at last, he made up his mind and spoke. “Magiwa-san.”
“Yes?”
“Listen... I’m trying to open up to you. To talk to you, man-to-man. Won’t you please remove your costume?”
“I will not, ron,” Macaron, still in his woolly sheep form, declared. He wasn’t going to risk his life in that torture chamber again. On that point, Macaron would not budge.
“You insist?”
“I insist,” Macaron said firmly.
“......W-Well, all right. I suppose everyone has things they can’t compromise on.”
“I’m grateful for the understanding, ron.”
Perhaps time had cooled both of their heads. They’d returned to politeness mode, and were conversing awkwardly for now.
“Magiwa-san,” the doctor began, “was what you said before true?”
“What?”
“You really aren’t in a relationship with my daughter... with Eiko?”
“I’m not,” Macaron told him. “She just works for me, ron. And very hard, at that.”
“But she said she... er... that she went all the way with you...”
“Adachi-san.” Macaron said, letting out a sigh. He was basically saying ‘are you stupid or something?’ “Like I told you before, that was just an excuse that she made up on the spot. It should show you how badly she wanted to get out of the engagement.”
“But... I was told they got along well,” Papa Adachi protested.
“Did you hear that from him? He was lying. That man was utter scum, ron.”
“But...”
“Look. Let me tell you how he was acting that night, ron.” Macaron explained it all. The wrinkles deepened on Papa Adachi’s brow. “I mean, I’m sorry that I lost my temper. I know that I can be abrasive, ron... You saw that. But... honestly, what else can you do about a man like that?”
“Mmgh...” Papa Adachi groaned.
“Eiko-san is a good woman, ron.” Macaron said, gazing at the sunset. “She’s never defied you before, has she? But she just couldn’t stand that fiancé of hers anymore. That’s why the first thing out of her mouth was my name, most likely.”
“......” Papa Adachi didn’t know how to reply.
“You can’t blame your daughter, ron. She’s really sorry and she’s apologized repeatedly. She also tried to come clean about the lie—you just didn’t believe her.”
“I suppose I did... have an inkling...”
“That’s why we decided to go all-in on the lie with that whole performance, ron. We thought if we got you to like me, it would fix everything. But we should have known it wouldn’t be that easy.”
“Well... er....” Papa Adachi swallowed audibly. “You mean to say... you did all of this for my daughter?”
“Yes, ron.” Macaron snorted. “We thought it would let us keep the park running, free Eiko-san from her engagement, and keep her working here, all in one fell swoop, ron.”
“Ridiculous,” Papa Adachi scoffed.
“Yeah, I guess it was pretty weaselly of us. But it was the way that would make everyone happiest, ron.”
“But if you had just explained it all from the start...!”
“Would you have listened? A man who wouldn’t even listen to his own daughter?”
“Mmph...”
“Adachi-san. I can see now that you’re a reasonable person, ron. But that doesn’t seem to be the case when it comes to Eiko-san.”
“......” Papa Adachi turned his eyes down and remained silent for a while. His face was twisted in agony. The face of a father in deep distress— Not even Macaron could ignore that. “I’m so ashamed,” he finally said.
“Yeah. You’ve been a real heel, ron.”
“Ahh... Magiwa-san, you’re an interesting person. I would be angry if one of my workers said these things to me. But for some reason, when you say them, they all make sense.”
“Glad to hear it,” Macaron told him.
“Would you hear me out a bit longer? Regarding my daughter...”
The car they were riding in clanked and shook. It had completed its revolution and returned to the boarding area.
“Okay, we’ll go around one more time.”
“Thank you.”
Macaron made a gesture to the employee about to open the door, indicating him to let them go around one more time.
“Go on,” Macaron prompted him.
“All right. ...You were right that my daughter has rarely disobeyed me in the past.” Papa Adachi said. “But it’s not as if I’m especially controlling. I’ve always tried to respect her wishes. I wanted her to be a doctor, but she wanted to go into English literature. I allowed her to do that, and I never once complained.”
“And her engagement?”
“Up until now, I thought she was pleased with it. They’d met several times, and I never forced the issue—all I did was encourage her to think about her future. I only formalized it after having several careful discussions with his parents and being sure it was what both parties wanted.”
“What about making her quit her last job?”
“I never demanded that of her. All I said was, ‘I’m not sure if the entertainment business is right for you,’ and she quit on the spot. I was a little surprised by it too, to be honest...”
“I see, ron.” Macaron let out a sigh. “You never gave one thought to her feelings, ron.”
“What?”
“You know none of that was how she really felt, right? I’ll bet she was always unsure about the fiancé, but you seemed to like him, so she thought ‘I guess I’d better do it.’ And she quit AVs—er, the talent agency—not because she wanted to, but to give you peace of mind. And maybe you did ‘compromise’ on her major, but I’d wager that’s been weighing on her, too. She’s been holding it all in, but she couldn’t take it anymore, and she finally exploded, ron.”
“Hmm...” Papa Adachi mused, then paused. “...Wait, what was that you said about AVs?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Ah...” he looked a bit concerned, but nodded.
“The point is, she’s not always going to say exactly how she feels, ron. That’s just how girls her age are with their dads. So...” In the midst of his lecturing of the man, suddenly, Macaron realized—
Lalapa... The behavior of his beloved daughter. That indifferent, slightly cold way she’d acted...
“Ron...”
That wasn’t how she’d really felt either. Lalapa was a tough girl, but she was also at a sensitive age. Could she have been putting on that front to protect her own feelings? After all, she’d gotten herself dressed up for the occasion...
“Even if I go to see my dad, he’ll probably just ignore me to focus on work...” Of course she would be nervous about that. And in that case, her behavior would be completely natural, wouldn’t it?
And yet I... I... Lalapa... He looked down and clenched his hooves.
“You’re right, Magiwa-san. I think I’ve been an awful father,” Papa Adachi said at last, breaking the silence.
“No,” Macaron sighed, “I don’t have any right to lecture you. I’m a bad father too, ron...”
Silence fell once more between them as the Ferris wheel completed its revolution. As the two men slouched despondently out of the car, they found Adachi Eiko waiting for them outside.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Lalapa-san decided...”
“Ah, never mind that, ron.” The fact that Eiko was there alone told Macaron everything he needed to know— Lalapa was gone. “You should talk to your father.”
“But...”
“I said, it’s all right. Let the third wheel get out of your way, ron.” Macaron said goodbye to Papa Adachi, then slumped away.
As he left, he heard Eiko call out to him, “Maca... Magiwa-san. You still have a performance to do at the Music Theater.”
“...?”
“Please be there. I’ll explain everything later.”
“Ron. Well, if I feel like it...” Macaron kept walking. Just as he passed through the cast door, then, he turned around.
Eiko and her father were talking. He was far enough away now that he couldn’t make out what they were saying. It wasn’t something he should be listening to, and he probably shouldn’t be speculating about it, either. From here on out, this was between a man and his daughter.
As he arrived backstage, Macaron found Seiya, Isuzu, and Tricen waiting for him.
“How’d it go?” Seiya asked, anxiously.
“I couldn’t say. But your judgment wasn’t far off, Kanie-kun. The old bastard was pretty reasonable, ron.”
“Give me the gist.”
“I’m not sure if I can. I haven’t fully worked it out myself, ron. Well... I think he realizes he was being a jerk, at least, ron.”
“Hmm...”
“Is that enough, ron? I’d like to get out of here if I can. You can handle the rest.” He swung his stubby arms as if to work out the stiffness, then headed for the stairs to the underground passage.
“Macaron. Where are you going?” Isuzu asked.
“To work, ron. Assuming I’m not fired yet,” he answered. “I hardly got to spend any time with the guests today, so I thought I’d use my last song to vent some frustration.” With a slightly bitter chuckle, Macaron walked down the stairs.
With this possibly being his last performance, he thought about doing his beloved gangsta funk, but refrained. He decided instead to play it straight with the AmaBri theme song—a bubbly, family-oriented violin melody, perfect for an amusement park. Having made up his mind, he gave his instructions to the staff.
“Ron! Welcome to my music theater!” he cried as he got up onstage, waving to the customers as the melody started to play. “Sorcerer’s Hill is a land of dreams! But it gets a little dull without my songs! When that happens, the Fairy of Music is here to help! I’m gonna give you all the funnest time I can! Let’s go!” Behold my peerless technique! he thought, and then spinning the violin around like a guitar, began to play.
Ohh, God of Music... I’ve never played like this before. My bow seems to be racing across the strings. Is this the flavor of loneliness? They say there are things you only discover after a great loss. Is this what they mean?
Ron, ron, a-rooon... It’s when you feel empty inside that true music smiles on you. And right now, God’s on my side, ron! Move to stage right, move to stage left. Then taxi to victory (whatever that means).
The guests seemed entranced by Macaron’s soul-searing performance.
“Ron, ron, roooon!” Hear me, my audience! This is the cry of my soul, ron! “Roooooooooon!” The music ended.
The audience burst into applause. It was close to closing time, so there weren’t even many people there—only about 60% of the seats were filled, but it was the most thunderous applause he’d ever heard. It might have been the greatest performance of his life.
“Pant... huff...” He held up violin and shredded bow and bathed in the applause. Then suddenly, he saw her. Lalapa was there, sitting in a corner of the spectator seats. “Lalapa?”
Like the other guests, she was clapping her heart out. She was also beaming with pride. It was as if she was saying to those around her, “See that? That’s my dad!”
“Lalapa!” Macaron leaped down from the stage and ran to his daughter. The guests stared in shock, but he didn’t care. “Lalapa, I’m sorry. I’ve been so stupid, ron...” he said, hugging her tight.
“Hey... cut it out,” she protested. “I was gonna leave, b-but Eiko-san stopped me... She said, ‘at least go see your father play’...”
So that was what it was, huh? Thank you, Eiko!
“A-And... i-it wasn’t bad,” Lalapa said, cheeks flushing pink.
“Lalapa.”
“C’mon, lay off, okay? You’re hurting me. Let me go.”
“No, ron.”
“D-Dad?”
“It wasn’t about white roses and stuff, was it? I just had to hold you tight, ron!” That was right. When she said she was leaving, he should have stopped her. “I love you, Lalapa.”
“C-Cut it out...”
“I won’t. I won’t, ron.”
“Seriously, it’s embarrassing...”
“Nonsense!” he told her. “I’m not embarrassed, ron!”
“Oh, please...” After a moment, Lalapa smiled awkwardly. “You’re so stupid.”
“Yes, I am. Your father is very stupid, ron.” Even as the spectators started filing out, Macaron continued to hold on to his daughter.
The next day, in the break room during lunch...
“So? What happened next, mii?” Tiramii asked, while wolfing down his convenience store lunch.
“Ron...” With a smile of triumph, Macaron struck a pose. “Of course, I showered her with affection. We had Italian for dinner, went to an all-hours cafe with a great atmosphere, then shared a friendly drink. Heh heh heh...”
“Moffu. You make it sound indecent, fumo.” Moffle said as he chewed on a Saigo-tei croquette.
“Yeah. Sounds like paid dating, mii.”
“...I wasn’t going that far. But that Lalapa may have had a sweet side after all, fumo... doting on a bad dad like you.”
“Heh. I’m immune to your insinuations, ron. This is something you bachelors just couldn’t understand, ron.”
“Hmph. Wouldn’t want to either, fumo.”
“So, what then? Did Lalapa go home, mii?”
“She did, ron. I saw her off this morning, ron.”
“Hmm... too bad. If she’d stayed a little longer, I would have romanced her like a grown woman,” Tiramii whispered.
Macaron was on him at lightning speed. “The hell ya would’ve! You lay one hand on Lalapa and I’ll tear your ears off, ya filthy mongrel son of a bitch!”
“Mii! That hurts, mii! I didn’t mean it! You’re choking me! I can’t breathe! Are you trying to kill me?!”
“Yeah, I’m try’na kill ya, ron! Say your prayers, asshole!”
“Miiii!”
“That’s enough, fumo. Tiramii might be desperate, but we all know he wouldn’t lay a hand on Lalapa.”
“That’s right, mii! That’s right, mii! Ah, but... I wouldn’t rule it out, under certain circumstances, mii...”
“Die, ron!”
“Miiiiii!”
While the two of them grappled, Kanie Seiya arrived. “Everyone here has lots of energy, I see,” he sounded disgusted. He also looked a bit tired.
“Oh, Kanie-kun.”
“Are you okay? You’re looking pretty worn out, ron.”
Seiya’s reaction was one of annoyance. “Because of you! After you left, I stuck around and had a long talk with Adachi and her father... It was so exhausting I almost passed out.”
“Oh yeah? Guess it sucks to be you,” Macaron whispered, picking his nose.
“Why, you little—”
“So?” Macaron interrupted. “What happens to me? Am I fired?”
“...I’d certainly like to fire you, but I can’t,” Seiya said. “Anyway, you’re off the hook.”
“Oh-ho?”
“I told you from the start: Adachi-san is a reasonable person. We took the long way getting here, but in the end, he understood. He even apologized to us! And... well, I got him to promise to vouch for the park in future meetings with the city.” It wasn’t exactly a windfall, but the incident seemed to have been a net plus for them. At the very least, the bus stop issue was as good as resolved.
“Hmm...” Macaron pondered.
“Apparently he’s going to call off the engagement,” Seiya said. “It’s going to take a bit of time... but I think that’s the best thing for her.”
“Hmm.”
“However, she’s still going to quit.”
“What?”
“Not because of her father— It was her choice,” Seiya explained. “She seemed to think it was the only way to atone for causing the park so much trouble.”
“I see... ron...” Macaron sagged. It was Eiko who had convinced Lalapa to stay yesterday. If not for her working on his behalf, he wouldn’t have been able to mend his relationship with his daughter. He had meant to thank her, but he’d been too busy to send even a single email.
“Moffu. So that means Task Force ABC is done for, eh? Without Adachi, it’s just Task Force BC... which sounds like it should be handling biological and chemical weapons, fumo.”
“I thought the original name was problematic, myself...” Seiya admitted.
“Mii! We’ll just have to hire another girl whose name starts with an A, mii! Um... like Ashe-chan!” Tiramii was referring to their head of accounting.
“Can you persuade her to do it?” Seiya asked, skeptically. “She holds the purse strings for the park. There’s no way I’m doing it.”
“Yeah. Ashe-chan is super scary when she’s mad, mii... physically and financially speaking.”
“Well, we’ll either have to call it off or alter the group, I guess...”
“That won’t be an issue,” Isuzu declared as she stepped into the room. They hadn’t seen her all morning, so they had assumed she was on some outside business.
“Sento?” Seiya said, sounding surprised. “I thought you were at school.”
“No, I’ve been working. As I’m about to show you. ...Come out, now.” At Isuzu’s urging, Adachi Eiko appeared trepidatiously from behind the corner. She was wearing her park uniform and fidgeting restlessly.
“Eiko-chan!” Tiramii greeted her happily.
“Adachi.” Seiya was less effusive.
“Ah... everyone. I’m terribly sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused. I thought... that I should take some time off, in order to atone, but...” Eiko lowered her gaze and fell silent, apparently unable to say any more than that.
“I convinced her to stay on the job,” Isuzu boasted. Her expression was its usual flat one, but there was a self-satisfied air to it.
“Nice, mii! Isuzu-chan!”
“More praise,” Isuzu demanded.
“You’re so talented! You’re amazing! You’re unstoppable, mii! Actually, you hardly did anything this time around, but—bwuuuh!”
Isuzu shot Tiramii, then returned her musket to storage. “That last part was unnecessary.”
“M-Mii... I keep telling you, people don’t like violent leading ladies nowadays...”
“Anyway, everyone! I know I’ve been selfish, but... I hope you’ll work with me!” Eiko bowed to them deeply. Not a single person voiced an argument.
“Of course,” said Seiya. “We’re glad to have you.”
“Moffu. We’ll work your fingers to the bone, fumo.”
“W... Welcome back, mii,” Tiramii groaned, upon reviving.
Each offered her their kindest wishes.
“Adachi... thank you, ron. Thank you so much. I can count on you from now on, right?” Macaron was glad she’d recovered her smile. It was a smile of gentle warmth, just like the sun.
“Yes,” Eiko told him. “Thank you so much!”
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