Amagi Brilliant Park - Volume 4 - Chapter 2

Let’s Film a Promotional Video! 

Greetings. I am Tricen, head of the PR department for a theme park in the Tokyo suburbs known as Amagi Brilliant Park. I am also a humble dinosaur mascot who was born in a magical realm called Rexland. 
Until last year, my place of business, Amagi Brilliant Park (henceforth referred to as AmaBri) was on the constant verge of closing. But then, a high school student named Kanie Seiya-san appeared in a beam of light, became our new acting manager, and gave us a new lease on life. As the head of the PR department, I spend my days helping Kanie-san with various tasks... though in practice, I mostly end up doing odd jobs. 
Now, this year, my beloved AmaBri has been undergoing a variety of renovations, and we currently need to create a PV. That’s right, a PV: a promotional video. This one won’t just be streamed on the Internet, but also played as a commercial on local Kanto UHF stations. 
Prior to Golden Week, we also had commercials advertising our new stage show, but the production of those was entirely outsourced. In order to save money, then, this new production has been laid at the feet of the humble Tricen—me. It’s an understandable task to give to the head of the PR department, who is also, in fact, the department’s only member. (Our park truly is in dire straits.) 
At any rate, I applied myself to the task and created the PV. I combined previously recorded footage and public domain music into something that I thought was rather decent. Any kind of masterpiece was beyond me, of course, but I feel that what I made was harmless enough. Unfortunately, the reaction to it was somewhat less than stellar...

“Hmm, how to put it... It’s neither good nor bad,” Acting Manager Kanie Seiya informed me. “Actually, the overall word I’d use is ‘dull.’” 
I was in his office on a May afternoon, shortly after having finished the PV’s editing. He had watched it, but his expression had been troubled the entire time. He didn’t appear to like the video I’d made one bit. 
“Ahh. Could you explain what you mean by ‘dull’?” I requested. 
“It’s so generic,” Kanie-san explained. “You start with park theme song, show some shots of our most popular attractions, then flash the Amagi Brilliant Park logo over a shot of Maple Castle. Then, you show picturesque, happy families running through the entrance grinning like fools, followed by short videos of each area...” 
“Is that wrong?” 
“I wouldn’t say it’s ‘wrong’ exactly. It’s just so textbook... there’s nothing noteworthy about it.” 
“Hmm...” 
“Well, come on, Tricen. It’s like you converted your own dull personality directly to film.” 
“Grr...” 
“You see this kind of thing now and then. It technically covers all the basics, but it also makes you yawn,” Kanie-san told me. “It’s hard to point to any particular faults, but if pressed, you’d probably say ‘it’s boring because the person making it is boring.’ That sort of thing.” 
“Grrrr!” Kanie-san’s words were truly acrid. Couldn’t he at least attempt to soften the blow? Of course, there was nothing else to be done— That was just the kind of person Kanie-san was; incorrigible and arrogant. He was handsome, intelligent, and multi-talented, but the one thing he couldn’t do was consider his subordinates’ feelings. I had heard that his attitude had left him friendless at school, a fact which did not surprise me in the least. 
“Well, Kanie-san... I, the humble Tricen, so lack instincts about how to make a good video that I do not even know what I do not know. If I am to improve it, I must have more concrete feedback.” 
“I guess you would... but still, I’m busy. I don’t have time to hold your hand through the process. Hmm, maybe... Hey, Sento?! Are you around?” Kanie-san called to the secretary desk, which lay beyond a cheap partition. 
“You don’t have to yell; I can hear you. What is it?” His secretary, Sento Isuzu-san, appeared. She was a beautiful woman—curvy, with large breasts, and hair held in a tight ponytail. Utterly magnificent! I, the humble Tricen, am forced to hunch with awe every time I saw her. 
“Help Tricen out with this, would you?” Kanie-san requested of her. “The PV, I mean.” 
“...If you insist, but I’m afraid I don’t know anything about videos, either.” 
“It’s better than leaving it all up to him. You can also hit up other employees for their opinions, and I’ll do the final checks.” 
“But...” she said. 
“Just get to it already!” Forcing the conversation to an end, Kanie-san went back to his paperwork. He lost himself in a thick stack of English-language documents. How dare he prefer to read those annoying things! What a deviant he was!

Isuzu-san and I moved to the PR department’s office, which was located in the same building, to discuss. The topic was: “ways to improve the PV.” Although to be honest, I had a feeling that it was just fine as it was... 
“As I mentioned before, I also know nothing about making videos,” Isuzu-san said, her expression a blank. She rarely showed any kind of emotion. When sexually harassed by the park’s mascots, she often got angry and half-killed them, but she spent most of her time stonefaced, like this. 
“I don’t know what’s wrong with the PV,” she continued, “but it’s true that it feels less than inspiring. I believe Kanie-kun is right that we should ask other employees for their opinions and try to incorporate them.” 
“Hmm, I suppose. They are entertainers, after all,” I concluded. “...In that case, whose opinion should we seek first?” 
“Let’s see...” She appeared to deliberate, then put a finger to her shapely lips. Her typical expressionlessness made the occasional adorable mannerism even more irresistible. I was forced to hunch over from the outrageousness of it. 
“What are you staring at?” she demanded. 
“Nothing,” I said quickly. 
“...... Anyway, we should hear the opinion of the headliner mascot first.” 
“Do you mean Moffle-san?” I asked her. 
Isuzu-san nodded silently.

“Hmm. It’s no good, fumo.” Moffle-san said after we showed him the PV backstage. Isuzu-san had secretarial work to attend to, so I, Tricen, had come here by myself. “It’s so... generic? Which isn’t as uncommon as all that... it’s the kind of thing that technically covers all the bases, but still makes you yawn. You have to assume the person making it has a boring personality, which—” He was saying all the same things that Kanie-san had said. It was quite injurious. 
Incidentally, Moffle-san is the headliner mascot here at AmaBri. He is a soft and plushy superdeformed rodent, resembling a wombat or a capybara. He’s also the Fairy of Sweets and a long-time park veteran. 
Ah, perhaps this requires further explanation. 
Moffle-san is not a person inside a costume. The same goes for all the mascots working here (myself included)— We are genuine fairies, who have come to the mortal realm from various magical lands. Moffle also happens to be one of the senior-most fairies working at the park. 
“...Well, there’s not much more to say, fumo, except that it’ll bore the guests as-is. You’d better change it,” Moffle-san summarized, after giving an extensive critique of my PV. 
“Still... I, the humble Tricen, have no idea about how to make it better. Couldn’t you offer me something more concrete?” 
“Moffu. Let’s see here...” Moffle-san folded his plush arms and thought. “Ah, I know, fumo. The PV’s too goody-goody. Give it a little more edge, why don’t you?” 
“Edge, you say?” 
“Moffu. I think what it’s lacking is... action, fumo.” 
“Action?” 
“That’s right, action. Nobody wants to see happy families, grinning like idiots as they walk around the park, fumo. You’ve got to add a little more grit.” 
Ah, of course. It was true that my PV portrayed only kind and polite customers: Children happily riding the merry-go-round; couples in awe as they watched the fireworks... 
“Hmm...” I pondered. 
“Let’s take these fireworks at the start, fumo. The couples look happy, sure. But by itself, that’s boring. Instead of fireworks, why not show an explosion?” 
“A... An explosion, sir?” 
“That’s right, with plenty of gasoline. Blam! Then you show a couple running for their lives away from the flame. It’ll be great, fumo. The people will love it.” 
What on earth is he talking about? “B-But sir...” I began. 
“They’ll love it! You show them speeding through a series of explosions, then at the end, the car they’re in dives off a cliff. They hang in the air, the video stops, and the Amagi Brilliant Park logo slams onto the screen!” 
Isn’t that the opening of Seibu Keisatsu? I wondered. Oh, I suppose that’s a gag you young people won’t get... Try searching for it on NicoNico or YouTube. 
“But... won’t that put off our regular guests?” I asked. 
“It’ll be fine! Just take my word for it and give it a try, fumo. I promise you they’ll love it!” Moffle-san did seem quite sure of himself, and when he insisted like that, I had no way of arguing. As he was the headliner mascot, I didn’t want to take up too much of his time; I simply promised that I would try it, and then left.

The car went flying, backed by a fiery explosion. The scene froze. The Amagi Brilliant Park logo slammed on-screen in a violent font. An aggressive theme song played. Then, it introduced the cast... 
With swift footwork and hooks, the mouse mascot dispatched a series of evildoers. ?Blaster Knuckle! Fairy of Sweets, Moffle!? 
With precise aim and flashy gunwork, the sheep mascot dispatched a series of evildoers. ?White Feather! Fairy of Sweets, Macaron!? 
With a multitude of traps, the Pomeranian mascot dispatched a series of evildoers. ?Stealth Fang! Fairy of Flowers, Tiramii!? 
Such were the introductory videos that played. 
Incidentally, the “evildoers” in question were all played by members of the park cast, as well. So after the video introducing Moffle-san, it also showed a shot of Moffle-san being shot to death by Macaron-san. It was contradictory, but I had no choice but to power through. 
“...What do you think?” I asked Sento Isuzu-san, who was watching the trial video with me. I was referring to the first third, which I’d reworked using public domain footage and the aid of unoccupied cast members. 
“Let me see...” Isuzu-san thought for a while. 
I, the humble Tricen, was forced to hunch over in anticipation. 
“I’m not sure,” she said, “but I think it’s fine.” 
“Ah. You do?” I asked her. 
“Yes,” she affirmed. “It certainly has impact. Particularly the scene where Moffle coughs up blood and sinks to the ground in slow motion... It’s a well-made scene.” 
Ah-ha! I wasn’t expecting to get such a positive review. I, the humble Tricen, felt encouraged. “I am very glad to hear that!” I beamed. “I shall continue to incorporate the opinions of the cast.” 
“And as I’ve said before, I know nothing about making videos,” Isuzu-san confessed. “I have a sinking feeling about this that I can’t quite put into words... but still, do your best, Tricen.” 
“Yes ma’am!” I told her. “I shall stake my life upon it!”

The next person whose opinion I asked for was the Fairy of Music, Macaron-san. He was Moffle-san’s friend and the second highest ranking member of the park. In Lupin III terms, you might call him “the Jigen.” He was a white, fluffy sheep who had the power to make people happy with music. 
“Hmm... mediocre, ron.” Macaron said, after watching the PV in progress. 
“Mediocre, you say? In what regard?” 
“Well, the action at the start is fine. But the music sucks, ron.” 
“Ah, I suppose it does...” I could agree with that, to be sure. I had used public domain songs to save costs, and the resulting BGMs were rather cheap-sounding. 
“It feels like what you’d hear playing in a local supermarket,” Macaron criticized. “We really need a greater variety here.” 
“...Could you be more precise?” 
“First, try some hip-hop,” he told me. 
“......ahh.” 
“Make it as aggressive as possible. Puff, mitch, migga... use all the dirty words. That’ll give us cred with youth culture. The customers’ll come beating our doors down, ron!” 
“I see...” 
“What’re you looking at me like that for?” Macaron demanded. “Now, you need to appeal to seniors, too, which means you need to add some enka. I can give you one with lots of vocal flourish, full of rising passion.” 
“I see...” 
“Then you need something for the kiddies. Something like anime and tokusatsu... Not one of those out-of-place love songs, but the hitting-people-with-righteous-anger types. The hot-blooded stuff, ron.” Macaron-san seemed confident in his diagnosis, and if the number two mascot of AmaBri said so, then I was hardly one to argue. 
“I see. I shall adopt your suggestion, then,” I told him.

There wasn’t much room to mess with the initial action scene, so I decided to use those songs for the middle portion. Originally, I had used gentle BGMs, which were matched to footage of our best attractions in areas like Sorcerer’s Hill and Wild Valley. For instance, for the video introducing Moffle-san’s “House of Sweets,” I had used a charming piccolo theme BGM. But now I used a hip-hop song with lyrics like... 
Yeah, yeah! Fuck the police, fuck the FBI, fuck the GOP! Shut up, you ain’t shit. I’ve got a big cock, like a nuclear missile, it’s standing up tall. I’m screwin’ your bitch, yeah.? 
Though I had to admit, this particular song felt less “youth culture,” and more like something with political overtones... It was also awfully vulgar. 
Next, for the Macaron’s Music Theater video, I had previously employed a lively bagpipe melody. But now I was using an enka song. 
MaaAAAaaay I kill you, daaarling... I shall not speak of how you hurt me... Oh, but oooOOOoone more time... aaaAAaaah... reliIIIIive the SOOOOoorow of... Amagiiii... Roooooad!? 
It certainly had the vocal flourish he had mentioned, but something about playing a song about a tragic adult romance over the child-oriented music theater didn’t seem quite right. 
And while I originally had a refined Mozart BGM for Tiramii-san’s Flower Adventure, it was now an anime theme song. 
Burn! Burn! Blazing fire! Burn! Burn! Wings of justice! Sound the bell of battle! Yes, fly high! Raid Combination, Kiiing Raaavemaaaan!? 
This one was apparently from an anime where five machines called “Ravens” combined to create “King Raveman,” but I knew very little about it. It did seem to me a bit odd to have a song shouting “Burn! Burn!” while advertising the greenery of the Flower Adventure... 
“...What do you think?” I asked Sento Isuzu-san, as I showed her the video again. 
“Hmm...” Isuzu-san thought intently after she finished the video. I gulped in anticipation. 
“I’m not sure,” she finally said, “but I think it’s fine.” 
“Y-You do?” I stammered. 
“The original BGM seemed a bit lacking,” Isuzu-san said. “It felt like the sort of thing you would hear at a neighborhood supermarket...” 
That was exactly what Macaron-san had said. 
“Passionate music like this may indeed suit it better,” she concluded. 
“I am very glad to hear that. I feared that you would scold me...” Indeed, I was forced to hunch over in encouragement. 
“I think it’s all right. Keep it up,” she told me. 
“Yes, I shall!”

Having regained my confidence, I headed for my next target: the Fairy of Flowers, Tiramii-san. After Moffle-san and Macaron-san, he was next most popular mascot of the park. He was a superdeformed, fluffy Pomeranian, and he was just as adorable as the other two. I asked Tiramii his opinion. 
“Hmm. I think it needs more... libido, mii.” Tiramii said, after watching the in-progress video. 
“Libido, you say?” 
“Yeah, mii. There’s nothing about this video that will really hook people. Let’s cut to the chase: it needs sex.” 
“Ahh...” I had forgotten that Tiramii-san was the horniest of AmaBri’s lead mascots. He would pursue any woman, no matter who she was, from young girls to grandmothers, from anorexics to binge eaters. 
I, on the other hand, am more discerning about my eros. I have a collection of over 1000 AVs, including hard-to-find classics. I even have opinions about Nikkatsu Roman Porno from the 70’s. That doesn’t stop me from pursuing newer works, of course, and I’m such a regular at a few different shops that the shopkeepers even ask my aid. 
Of course, I have much less luck with real-life women. 
“I understand the desire for more sex appeal,” I told him. “But... this is still a park PV. I’m sure we couldn’t include any content that requires censorship...” 
“I wasn’t talking about going that far, mii. I mean, I’d personally want to see that... but all I meant is that you should make it sexier, mii.” 
“...Could you be more precise?” 
“Miniskirts! Bathing suits! Low angles! ...all within the realms of legality, of course, mii!” 
“Hmm... I see!” I finally understood what Tiramii was driving at. Families were important, but it was the fathers who brought the families to the park. Wasn’t part of the point of a PV, then, to seize the hearts of the fathers? 
Brilliant! I was forced to hunch over in appreciation of Tiramii-san’s wisdom! When I mentioned that breathlessly to Tiramii-san, he said “Wh-What? R-Right... I guess you would be,” in an uncomfortable tone of voice. 
“...Anyway, that’s the kind of PV I’d like to see, mii. Give it your best shot!” 
“Yes, sir. But of course, our production budget is limited. We lack the funding to do a video shoot with sexy models.” 
“What are you talking about, mii? We’ve got plenty of sexy girls in the park already, mii!” 
“Ah, that is true,” I agreed. We had Isuzu-san; Latifah-sama; Muse-san and the elemental girls; the girl group who had just been hired part-time; Ashe-san in finance and a number of the other cast members. Physically, they also covered quite a range, from flat-as-a-board to bouncy-as-can-be. I was concerned, however, that when I told them the nature of the video I wished to film, there was a very good chance that they would attempt to murder me. 
“That’s legit, mii...” Tiramii-san said, after I explained my concern. “In that case, let’s dig into my secret recording stash, mii!” 
“Ohh?” I inquired. 
“Low-angle shots in particular—I’ve got tons of that, mii. Lots of glimpses of things. I’ve got about... umm... about one terabyte? And they’re well-organized with thumbnails, so feel free to use as many as you want, mii.” 
The generosity of the gesture! I was forced to hunch over in gratitude. 
“Amazing! Tiramii-san, may you be blessed by Libra!” Libra is the name of a goddess, so my declaration did feel a bit like sexual harassment against the divine, but that was hardly my concern. Hallelujah!

...That said, it would prove difficult to use his sexy videos as they were. 
That night, I watched many stimulating videos of the female cast, and repeatedly hunched forward and then reeled back with enough force to cause whiplash—but unfortunately, the ones that made the identity of the individuals clear were unusable. (Well, actually, they were very usable—just not for the PV). 
Even so, I fought valiantly. I whittled them down again and again, leaving only the most crucial parts of the videos in which the individual could not be identified (for instance, close-up shots of a bottom or bust). Once I had my cuts, to please the fathers of the world, I loaded up the video with public domain “sexy” voices. 
Shots of Entrance Square and Maple Castle were followed by a close-up shot of Isuzu-san’s thighs, accompanied by an erotic moan. After the wild rainforests of Wild Valley came a shot of Muse-san’s toned waist, accompanied by a seductive giggle. After a panorama of the Tama Hills view from the great wheel came a shot of Latifah-sama’s slender swimsuit-clad form, particularly the barely clad ass. Of course, it was accompanied by an enticing cry of protest. And I added various other cuts where they were needed. 
“What do you think?! Is it a tour de force?” I asked, fists gripped tightly, as Isuzu-san finished her test viewing. 
She tilted her head, arms folded. “...Is this what you wanted?” 
“Yes!!!” 
“If it’s there to add sex appeal for male customers... I can’t complain about that. I would be lying if I said I don’t feel a slight sense of repulsion,” she admitted. “But if this is what they like, then I suppose we don’t have a choice.” 
It seemed she understood; wonderful! I, Tricen, felt tears come to my eyes. 
Ignoring my outpouring of emotion, Isuzu-san moved the mouse blankly to check a few other places in the video. “But... this skirt and this swimsuit... I recognize these costumes,” she said suspiciously. “You did say you hired models for this video, didn’t you?” 
“Yes! Of course I did!” I said without hesitation. I could not afford to have her doubt me, and so, I lied with all my heart. 
“Well, then... all right. But there is something familiar about those thighs...” 
“Just your imagination!” I hunched over with insistence. Even the mighty Isuzu-san seemed cowed by my vehemence. 
“...... Very well, then. Carry on.” 
“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” 
The beautiful woman, though still a bit hesitant about the video that incorporated her thighs and breasts, had given me the go-ahead. The situation by itself was highly stimulating to me. Gross? Yes, but delightful, thank you! 
“...But you can’t appeal only to men,” she pointed out. “It lacks balance.” 
“Ah?” I was dragged from my ecstasy and cast back down to Earth. 
“You should ask for a female opinion, as well. Try seeing what Muse and the others think.”

Isuzu-san’s idea was, of course, correct. The opinions of Moffle-san, Macaron-san, and Tiramii-san—the triumvirate of AmaBri—were important, to be certain. But even so, they were all men. We could not meet the needs of our diversifying audience with their opinions alone. I had to also consider the female demographic. 
Thus, I headed for Aquario, an indoor musical attraction. In short, it featured the elemental spirits of Earth, Water, Fire, and Wind, singing and dancing among beautiful nature sets. It was a relatively new facility, so it had excellent lighting and acoustics, and the show employed quite a bit of wirework, which made it quite impressive. 
On top of that, the four stars of Aquario were all beautiful girls, and they wore quite revealing costumes during the show, which meant it topped the charts of the attractions visiting fathers said they wanted to visit again on their surveys. Yes; in other words, the fathers were all forced to hunch over, just as I was (though the mothers’ reactions weren’t quite as favorable).

And so, I had the girls of Aquario watch the PV. Yes; as expected, their reactions were quite negative. 
“Um, this is not... great...” the Spirit of Water, Muse-san, said. 
“It’s all action and sex...” the Spirit of Wind, Sylphie-san, said. 
“It’s gross. Utterly sickening. Mind if I tweet about it?” the Spirit of Fire, Salama-san, said. 
Hmm. It was insult to injury. Of course I, Tricen, was not above enjoying a bit of injury... In fact, I was eager to receive even more abuse from these beautiful young women. 
That said, I still had a job to do. I hunched over with inquiry. “I see. It is clear, then, that something needs to change. ...So, could you tell me what needs to be added?” 
“Hmm...” The four of them immediately sank into thought. They had all criticized it quite thoroughly, but they didn’t seem to have any particular ideas about how to change it. But just then... 
“U-Um...” Spirit of Earth, Kobory-san, raised her hand. She was the shyest of the three, and tended to act very modestly. I, Tricen, found myself curious to hear what she had to say. 
“What is it, Kobory-san?” I asked. 
“W-Well... I think... maybe...” Kobory-san said timidly. 
“Yes?” 
“The reason the PV doesn’t appeal to us is... because there aren’t any men in it. So, you know...” 
“Yes?” 
“W-Well... I think you could fix it by putting in an equal amount of bare male bodies! Maybe some burly men in tight bikini bottoms! With muscular biceps and pecs...!” It must have taken all of Kobory-san’s courage to say what she did. 
It took all the strength I had just to let out a stunned “ah” in response, but the elementals of Aquario immediately chimed in, fists clenched. 
“Oh... Yes, that might just do it! I think it would!” 

“Yeah... I think I’d enjoy it then.” 
“Bikini bottoms... I like. Can I take that viral?” 
The Spirits of Water, Wind, and Fire all added their own contributions. Spirit of Earth Kobory-san just smiled, looking relieved. 
Now, if I may divert momentarily with a question... How exactly was Kobory-san the Spirit of Earth? She seemed more like she preferred rotting leaves. That is to say, she was a “rotten girl”—a fujoshi. 
“Um... yes. I will hunch over and... rather, I will stand upright and consider your opinions.” 
Despite what I’d said, I was terrified. My stomach was lurching. I didn’t have the budget to hire male models, you see.

The new video I created was indeed stuffed with biceps and pectoral muscles in critical moments. That’s right; I did insert video of half-naked men with the sexy sounds of giggles, and protests, and such. They were also in bikini bottoms, just as Kobory-san had requested. Tight asses filmed from a low angle— Perhaps most women and 10% of men would find it delightful... but for a heterosexual male such as I, it was a shocking, slightly sickening video. To be frank, it made me want to die. 
“...How did you like it?” I asked Isuzu-san after showing her the finished video. 
“I don’t quite... know what to say...” Isuzu-san responded, with a twinge of nausea in her voice. “It would be one thing if you used professional bodybuilders, but you also included ordinary people... Ones that are rather old and sickly-looking at that...” 
“Yes, well. I suppose I did...” The bodies in the video had pot bellies, exposed ribs, scraggly hair... it was all-in-all a tragic scene. 
“Did you really hire models for this?” she asked. 
“Yes. No. Er...” 
“Tell me right now,” she snapped. 
I turned my eyes downward quickly. Even as I began to tell her the truth, I could not completely fight my hesitation. “Er... well... The truth is... I didn’t have the funds to hire models. So... I asked the security staff for aid...” 
Yes, I was referring to AmaBri’s meager four-man security department. The (effective) security chief Okuro-san, the 71-year-old Morii-san, the part-time student Arima-san... There was one other part-timer, but I’ve forgotten his name. 
Even so, the security trio of Okuro-san, Morii-san, and Arima-san had been willing to literally give the clothes off their backs to help me. Despite their embarrassment, they put on the bikini bottoms and did their best to pose while I filmed them. Their dedication was actually quite moving. 
“Incidentally, that ass is the ass of Security Chief Okuro,” I pointed out. 
“I didn’t ask,” Isuzu-san said. “I didn’t want to know, either.” 
“Yes, I suppose you wouldn’t.” 
“Couldn’t you at least find someone else to do this?” she asked. “Surely we have other handsome young men here...” 
“We do not,” I denied. “If we do, I’d like to know where to find them.” 
“Well...” Isuzu-san started, then hesitated. “...Well, never mind.” 
“Were you thinking of Kanie-san?” I inquired. 
“Be quiet,” she ordered me. 
“Ah. Was I correct? I humbly surmise that I was correct...” 
“I told you to be quiet,” Isuzu said, producing a musket from her skirt, as she always did when she got angry. The bullets she fired from that gun hurt very badly when they hit— enough to make a person writhe in agony. Thus, I avoided pursuing the matter any further. 
“...Anyway, back to Okuro’s butt. Er, I mean, the PV,” she continued. 
“Yes?” 
“I’m not necessarily against it. I realize that you’re low on budget and time. What I want to know is: why I should okay this?” 
“Ahh, I see.” It seemed Isuzu-san was not yet convinced of the direction the PV was taking. 
“I assure you that Kobory-san watched the video, gave a thumbs up and declared it ‘capital-G good!’ The other elemental girls seemed to enjoy it as well,” I told her reassuringly. 
“I see. In that case, I suppose it’s all right...” Despite saying this, she seemed less than convinced. 
“...Anyway, is this enough?” I asked. “I have asked a number of opinions from employees...” 
“I think it’s still missing something,” Isuzu-san said. “We need an opinion from someone closer to the customer point of view.” 
“...Could you be more precise?” 
“The recently-hired part-timers,” she declared.

At the beginning of April, Kanie-san had hired a number of new employees. He apparently believed that it was impossible for AmaBri to make a comeback while shorthanded. Out of those we ended up hiring, three women in particular had made a strong impression; I decided that I would ask those three for their opinions on the PV. And so that night, I took a few minutes of their time to show each of them the PV.

“I think it’s awesome!” part-time worker Bando Biino said. She was a healthy, energetic girl, always optimistic and truly passionate about her work. But for some reason, wherever she went, bloodshed always seemed to follow. Apparently, she had even been stabbed by a mentally ill man at her initial interview. 
“Explosions! Action! Sex! Butts! It has everything!” she exclaimed. “That shot of Moffle-san spitting up blood while he topples over in slow motion is especially artistic!” 
“R-Really?” I asked cautiously. 
“So I think you should add in a lot more of that, don’t you?” said Bando Biino. “You know... bloodshed!” 
“B-Bloodshed?” 
“Yes,” she told me. “Scary things draw the eye, right? So you should add more of that! Put in tons of gore! The guests will love it!” 
“Er... Well... Indeed. I’ll consider it.” I was forced to give a noncommittal answer.

“I p-pink it’s a weight TV... I mean, I think it’s a great PV,” part-time worker Chujo Shiina said, flubbing her words. She was an elementary schooler—rather, a high schooler with a nervous disposition. (In my defense, she did look like she was in elementary school.) She had recently played an important role at the debut performance of the big live show on which the park’s future had been riding. Incidentally, she went to the same high school as Kanie-san. 
“B-But... But...” Shiina-san seemed to want to say something more. “U-Um... No, actually, it’s nothing...” 
“Ah, please, do not be shy,” I told her. “Your answer won’t reflect on your employee evaluation, so please give me your candid opinion.” 
“Ah, no! R-Really... it’s nothing!” She was cringing to a pitiful degree, waving her arms. Her face was as red as a beet. 
“Hmm. Well, if you say so...” I opted not to question her any further. It was nice to know there was someone so reserved in AmaBri, though. I, Tricen, was forced to hunch over in appreciation.

“I find it a truly wonderful video,” Part-time worker Adachi Eiko-san said, smiling brightly. She was a modestly-dressed college student with a calming air about her. She also had a large bust, and there were rumors that she was a former AV actress. If they were true, I would hunch over with such a speed as to cause my head to hit my crotch, but I had never found anyone resembling her in my database. I’m sure it was simply some kind of misunderstanding. 
“Wonderful?” I asked. 
“Yes. Of course... as a part-time worker, I do not know if it is my place to say...” She touched a fingertip to her chin, falling deep into thought. Her expression was very serious. 
“By all means, continue.” 
“All right. Then... if I may be so presumptuous, I believe that this PV lacks uplift,” she told me. 
“Uplift?” 
“Yes.” 
“......” 
Eiko-san said nothing else, but merely smiled quietly. She seemed unwilling to say more without prompting. 
“Er. Ah. If you could give an example of what you mean by ‘uplift,’ it would be very much appreciated...” 
“Very well. I enjoy equestrianism, you see.” 
“Er?” 
“Equestrianism. I simply could not get enough of it as a child.” 
“R-Right...” 
I had no idea where she was going with her story, but Eiko-san continued on at her own leisurely pace. “The other day, I received an invitation from an instructor friend of mine, and I had the great privilege of watching a horse give birth. She was a gentle mare named Kikuno Scepter, with whom I have been very close since middle school...” 
“R-Really...” 
“Seeing her go through all that strain to have her child and become a mother... It truly was... uplifting.” 
“Ahh.” 
“What do you think?” she asked. 
Er. Um. How exactly to react to that? A horse giving birth was certainly an uplifting thing, but... 

And so, the last third of the PV went like this: 
“A-ma-gi! A-ma-gi! Bri, bri, bri! Brilliant! Brilliant Paaaark!” ...was the theme song that played over scenes of shocking gore that I had added, just as Bando Biino had requested. 
I had no money and I was feeling desperate, so I simply applied some gore effects to various cast members and filmed scenes of them being knocked down, sent flying, and slaughtered. Tiramii-san lay in a pool of blood, like a murder victim. Macaron-san looked down at his blood-stained hands and cried out “What’s going on here?!” à la Matsuda Yusaku. I recycled the scene of Moffle-san spitting up blood and falling over in slow motion. 
Chujo Shiina-san had no request, so nothing to worry about there. 
Then there was Adachi Eiko-san’s request(?). She had kindly provided me a video of the foal’s birth. It seemed to be a difficult labor for the horse in question, Kikuno Scepter. The veterinarian and assistants all struggled hard, and in the end, one was forced to plunge both hands into the birth canal and yank the foal out. It slid out with a splut. I fear to say that I did not find it uplifting at all. I found it quite grotesque, in fact. 
The theme song continued to play. “Bri, bri, bri! Brilliant park! A magical land! Where dre, dre, dreams are boooorn!” The theme song’s hook played just as the newborn foal splattered onto the ground. It was not dreams we were seeing born here, but a foal encased in blood-stained afterbirth. 
I wanted nothing more than to go home at this point, but I still had to do my job. With the new PV complete, and no more changes to make, I unveiled it for Isuzu-san and Kanie-san. 
Isuzu-san was silent, and Kanie-san, too, kept his silence for a long time, until... 
“What the hell is this?!” 
Yes, I had a feeling he would say that. I, Tricen, hunched over in abashment. 
“It starts with an explosion out of nowhere, then it’s packed with action, violence, women’s asses, men’s asses... Then you’ve got blood flying everywhere, and it ends with a horse giving birth! Are you people crazy?!” 
“Er, well... Please calm down, Kanie-san.” 
“Shut up!” he fumed. “And... Sento! I told you to keep an eye on him! How could you let this happen?!” 
But Isuzu-san, showing rare tears in the corners of her eyes, was watching the PV again. It must have struck a chord with her, somehow. “It’s... a masterpiece,” she said. “A wonderful PV that will make people dream. What do you propose is wrong with it?” 
“Everything!!” Kanie-san exploded.

And so the PV that I had labored over was scrapped, and my original “safe” video was played as a commercial on UHF stations. It was, apparently, quite well received. 
But since it really did feel like a waste, I secretly uploaded the version with everyone’s suggestions to a video site. And, well... That one was a massive hit. It immediately reached a million views. 
As head of the PR department, I, Tricen, was for once forced not to hunch over— but instead, to hold my head high.