Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Come wa Machigatte Iru Shin - Volume 6 - Chapter 3.5

Interlude 

Maybe I should have taken the initiative to speak out. 

Lying on the bed, looking at the circular ceiling lamp, I reflect on what I have done before today. 

However, no matter how many times I look back, how many times I reflect on it, or how long it takes, it does not get better. 

I stopped and waited for him to speak. 

It's my bad habit 

I feel like I had plenty of time to speak up. 

When the topic of outing came up in the club room, on the way home that day, when we sat next to each other on the train. It wouldn't matter if it was the next day or the next day. Or, you can simply send a message and then come to think of it...There is nothing physically difficult. I can do it right now. 

I turned my body over, and when I was in a prone position, I reached out for my cell phone that had been thrown on the pillow. I touched the icon of the message app, and opened the chat box. 

You can just say it as if nothing happened. All you have to do is ask him what to do tomorrow. It will only be conveyed. If possible, it would be nice if the conversation continued for a long time... 

No, no. That kind of thinking is not good. I shook my head lightly and drove away the thoughts that had suddenly appeared in my mind. 

First of all, send a sentence. If you're not careful, you'll write down ridiculously long sentences, so in the end, you'll always get sane along the way, and you'll end up erasing it. 

In any case, let's just convey the important things first. 

...but it was difficult to get it out, so I've reached this point. 

And just talking about business is a bit boring...More than anything else, I feel a bit lonely. 

Before getting into the main topic, prepare for it, so that the other party will feel easier to reply. The first thing you need to do is to send a message to ...... about a book, a test, a cat, or something like that. However, I'm not sure why I'm sending this out of nowhere. In order not to make him feel strange, it might be better to put more groundwork... and I almost went into the usual pattern. 

Ah, ha. Taking a deep breath, I buried my face in the pillow. 

It must be conveyed more lightly. 

Lightly, lightly... 

Although I tried to murmur several times, each time, my heart just got heavier and heavier. 

It's lighthearted, it's unreasonable. 

My heart is getting heavier day by day, getting bigger and bigger and deeper. 

There's no way I'm going to be lighthearted now. 

So, stacking up a few sentences, stacking up words, and finally erasing them a few times. 

I looked at the blank white chat box one more time, flicked the top and flicked the left. 

I only wrote two letters. 

Beside the two words that wouldn't be uttered anyway, the slash flicked and flicked. 

XXX 

In the eyes of outsiders, it will feel that I am just wasting time. I just roll around in bed, staring at my phone that doesn't ring. 

After dinner, I was still holding my phone on the sofa in the living room. Putting my jaw on the cushion in front of my chest and thinking about what to do. 

The sound of the TV that is left on, my sister who was in a good mood was pouring a glass of wine across the room in a happy mood, and the question of why this person is here are all outside of consciousness now. ... Seriously, why is this person here? I have clearly given up the apartment where I used to live, but these days, if she’s bored, she comes back to my parents' house. 

Although I knew that I would lose if I cared, because I was worried about my sister, it would be nice to return to my room at an earlier time....... But if I get up from the sofa now, I always feel like running away, which is also annoying. 

As a result, I stretched out on the sofa, looked at my phone, and occasionally glanced over at my sister's condition. 

It's not like we're really talking, but I don't feel like I really care, and my sister is spinning her wine glass. The pink cold liquid that quietly bubbled from the inside of her thin glass, and the colour of Nee-san’s nails matched it, caught my eye for a moment. 

It was cute and transparent, it looked very mature. 

I think it suits my sister perfectly. To be more precise, I think it suits her older sister's looks. It's up to each individual to decide whether or not it suits her personality well. 

As I was thinking about that, the phone I was holding suddenly vibrated. 

I opened it in a panic, the message app showed an unadorned message. 

“Can we go together tomorrow?” 

Just by looking at it, I felt as if I could even hear his voice. The tone of voice that groans as if thinking, then opens his mouth as if hesitating, and exhales as if sighing. 

So, before writing a letter, I nodded without knowing it. It was almost enough to make a voice out of it. 

I suppressed my fluttering heart, but I rushed to reply. So, the answer became extra blunt and pretentious. 

“ok.” 

When I read those two letters again, it seemed that I could read it as if someone was angry. I thought for a moment, wondering if it would be weird if I didn't attach something more, but the answer came before I could send anything else. 

“ok.” 

His reply was also just two words. 

Although the dialogue was completely unfounded, his voice could be played out through those words. I could see him holding his breath for a moment as if in bewilderment, then saying “Ah” first, then nodding his head very slightly. By the way, add an extra word like "No, it's not", joking around lightly, and filling the gap. Then, in less than a few seconds, the scene just as I imagined followed. 

“What time should we meet?” “You decide” “I’m free.” 

Then, while breaking it down into small paragraphs, he added a series of messages, which is also very much like his style. I felt like I could breathe, and without realizing it, the corners of my mouth loosened. “Any time is fine. It doesn’t matter if it’s early.” 

I'm a little sorry for my classmates, but let's get out of the way. It's called an outing to make friends, but because my class hasn’t had a new face for three years, I’m sure everyone will understand. 

... But what should I say if I want to leave? I don't want to say I'm going around with a friend. That said, being with someone from the same club seems to go too far. It would be okay to express it more clearly, but I don't think I can say it directly. It's really embarrassing. 

Unknowingly, I put my hand on my chin, and as I was lost in thought, I noticed that his reply had been stopped. It has been a while since it was read. 

I looked at the clock and it was still early to go to sleep. Maybe he asked something that was difficult to answer, or something that bothered him. 

I got nervous, so I looked back at what I had sent, but it took a while for me to say, “Any time is time” Does he think I've left everything to him? 

Something similar happened when we went out together in the past. When he asked if I would like to go to a cafe somewhere to pass the time, I left it up to him to choose a shop. Perhaps even now, he is still thinking, “Am I being tested...”, which I can't understand. 

“Afternoon might be better. Shall we join after lunch?” 

“That’s good. Around 15 o’clock?” 

When I made a somewhat specific suggestion, an answer came right away. Maybe it was because he kept staring at the screen and fell into his thoughts. He still has hazy eyes like a rotten fish, but he must have wrinkled his eyebrows lightly, hesitated, and clouded those eyes even more. Such a figure was drawn clearly, I couldn't help but smile. 

To answer right away, I wrote “It's okay if it's a little early”, but halfway through typing, I deleted it in a panic. 

It was as if I couldn't help but meet him soon. At least the sentences should be a little more subtle. 

After realizing this, I felt my cheeks turn red with heat. I couldn't help but sink my face on the cushion.  

Suddenly, I sighed quietly and lifted my face, and I saw my sister staring at me intently  

“What, what is it...? 

When she asked this, Nee-san gave her a sinister smile. 

“Are you on LINE with Hikigaya-kun? What are you talking about? Show me.” 

Saying so, she took a seat next to me. Spying on my phone, pushing my shoulders with an unfair weight. 

(Note: Unfair weight is probably  those genes.)   

“I’ll rather break the screen than to show it to you, Nee-san.” 

Although I quickly hid the phone behind my back, she wasn't the kind of person who would give up that easily. 

 “What's wrong with that? I'm interested in what Hikigaya-kun have sent.” 

She spoke in a petulant voice, and smirked. 

To be honest, there is not much to see. If you look at the conversation, it has not yet departed from the realm of general business contact. You won't find any special meaning there. ーBut. 

“I hate to show it to you.” 

I held the phone to my chest and turned my back to Nee-san. Then she put her face on my shoulder as if hugging me from behind. 

“Oh, is this a desire for exclusivity?” 

Suddenly, she whispered in my ear, and my face became hot. The scent of wine alone was intoxicating. It was enough to make you intoxicated. So, I couldn't even say no properly. 

“It doesn’t matter, so let me go.” 

I pushed Nee-san’s face, which seemed to bite me by the nape if I left it alone. However, Nee-san tried to put an even more unfair weight on me and tried to reach for my phone. 

“Ne, Ne, let's call, call. That way I can hear it too.” 

“Why do I have to turn on the speaker? I definitely don't want to. And if you want to send a message on LINE, just send it yourself. Well, only if you know his account.” 

“Oh, what a nasty thing to say. It's not nice to have that kind of condescending attitude, don’t you think? Do you think you're his girlfriend?” 

“I don’t think so.” 

“Oh, then, it's fine as a girlfriend.” 

The moment I heard those words, I was speechless. She must have a purpose to ask that question. No matter how I answered now, I would be forced to that conclusion. 

Instead of waiting for the other person's words, you lure them into a trap.  

It's a top tactic that my mother uses well. Really, how annoying these people are, including me. 

“...... don't say things like that.” 

I somehow managed to fix it and continued talking, but there was no way my sister could miss the gap. Nee-san with a smile on her face that looked like she was genuinely happy. 

“It's Yukino who doesn't talk like that-.” 

While arguing like that, nee-san and I quarrelled on the sofa for a while. 

Then, with a squeaking sound, the door to the living room opened. 

I stood up and looked over there, and my mother was standing there without a word. She put a fan to her lips as if to say it was dusty, and then she narrowed her eyes and looked down at us. 

It was clear that nothing was said, but the atmosphere reminded us to stop the noise and quiet down. 

At that gaze, my back was straightened, and even nee-san stopped her fuss, and she was making a face that was not fortune-telling. It was an almost reflexive action. 

When we got quiet, mother had a smile that seemed to melt away, no, a smile that seemed to melt away captivatingly. 

“It's good to look at, but only to a certain extent.” 

“Yeah-.” 

“Yes.” 

Nee-san raised her hand softly, gave a loose answer that showed no sign of her remorse, and I averted her gaze slightly and nodded a little. 

Seeing that, the mother smiled as if she was tired of it for a moment and let out a sigh. 

“... Shall I get you some tea?” 

Having said that, my mother went into the kitchen and started preparing tea. 

A long time ago, when I was a kid, I felt like something like this happened. It seems that vague memories came back to Nee-san as well. 

Nee-san looked at me, and shrugged her shoulders, “I'm scolded,” she whispered in a somewhat naive tone. Contrary to the young tone, the expression on her face was buoyant, uplifting and happy, as if she did not care at all about being scolded. Ah, this person has been like this for a long time, and a memory resembling it came to mind. 

But, I'm sure I'm making the same expression right now. 

We are the same except for the unfair part. 

Nee-san reached out her hand to her wine glass, drank it in one go, and fanned it in her face. She fixed her messy hair with her long, slender fingers. 

I was thinking that pink gold nails would go well with shiny black hair, and it suddenly occurred to me. 

Really, we might actually look alike.  

I quickly turned my head and looked into the kitchen. My mother seemed a little busy, perhaps preparing a light snack while serving tea. 

In the meantime, I patted Nee-san's thighs and said in a muffled voice. 

“Nee-san, are you free?” 

“Huh?” 

To her Nee-san's ear, who tilted her head slightly, I gently brought my mouth. 

“Rather than discussing, I'd like to ask you ......” 

So, I spoke first, then tapped, and made a very strange request. 

Nee-san had a blank face for a moment, but she answered and nodded after a while. 

“It's okay if it's at that level ......” 

Saying so, Nee-san stretched her back, as if she had completely surrendered her body to the sofa. A completely upside-down view showed my mother standing in the kitchen. 

After confirming it, Nee-san closed one eye and raised her index finger in front of her lips. 

"Keep it a secret from mom.” 

 And whispered in a small voice like a child playing pranks.