Chapter 1: And So, Our Youth Will Not End.
No matter how the seasons alternate, some things never change.
It’s already half-way through April, looking outside the window from the classroom, you could see the cherry blossoms starting to wilt.
However, the branches reaching into the sky, the thick tree trunks accumulating energy, and the roots deeply plunging into the ground, remained the same.
From a flowering cherry blossom to a tree starting to sprout new leaves, despite the changes in its appearance, it still doesn’t affect its overall look.
Human nature may also be the same.
In the third spring of my high school life, no, if we’re talking about spring in my high school life, because of some reasons, it’s only my second time, but if we’re including elementary and middle school, I’ve already passed countless new semesters.
No matter how long time has passed, I still don’t like this season.
The atmosphere of mutual greetings, superficial conversations, those, I’ve already long been accustomed to.
Because I have to go through this every year, all I can do now is just sigh and say: “It’s that season of the year again …”. It’s like in the summer when friends give salad oil to your family as a greeting gift. You thought it was a bottle of Calpis, but uncapping it, you see that, it’s all oil,and mom and Komachi are happy. But then, getting oil as a gift is pretty exciting too, as you can use it to fry things to eat.
I should have already grown accustomed to the new semester by now, but I still felt uncomfortable somehow, even more so than previous years, which made me suspect whether I had a pollen allergy.
But I already knew the real culprit.
It was the classroom redistribution after we became third years.
No, the redistribution itself was not the issue.
After all, I wasn’t all that comfortable with our class when I was in my second year, so I doubt I have any nostalgia. At the most, it’s just crying into my pillow and complaining “I’m in a different class as Totsuka!”, I’ll never forgive you Ministry of Education!
But as the saying goes, good things don’t last forever, life is filled with goodbyes. Separations in the short term are inevitable. Rather, I’ve already gotten used to it. Looking from another perspective, I can finally go to the tennis court alone in the afternoon break and just squat there. So, the class redistribution itself really has no downsides for me.
So, the culprit that is making me uncomfortable is not the class redistribution.
Unknowingly, I squinted at the culprit, even softly clicking my tongue.
I’m not sure if he heard the sound, or if he felt the stare of hatred on his back, but the culprit of my uncomfortableness turned around to face me.His tie swung in front of his chest, and his bangs fluttered in the wind.
Hayama Hayato.
He’s my former classmate slash current classmate, and the main cause of my uncomfortableness.
Hayama originally had a cool smile on his face, but as soon as his eyes met mine, they flashed a teasing look. He raised the corners of his mouth, then bowed his head slightly.
With that action, it was as if he was saying “Is there a problem?”.
I have no business with you …
I shook my head slightly in response.
Hayama shrugged his shoulders, as if saying “Don’t call me if you gave nothing to say”.
No, I didn’t call you …
I sighed impatiently, and at that moment—
“Huhuhu…”
A weird laughter reached my ears.
In an instance, Hayama and I had straightened our backs.
It’s over! That person’s coming! I raised my alertness, discovering a female student in the corner of my eyesight.
She had soft shoulder-length black hair, a pair of red-rimmed glasses, and the sides of her mouth were contorted in an unpleasant manner, showing a delighted smile.
Ebina Hina.
She is also my former classmate slash current classmate, and another cause of my uncomfortableness. She showed a satisfied smile, pulled the chair beside her, and started pointing between me and Hayama.
“We’re in the same class as Hikigaya again huh”
“Hahaha …”
Hayama let out an awkward laughter after hearing Ebina’s meaningless comment.
“Um, yeah, I guess this is fate …”
He helplessly replied, but, towards Ebina, he made a grave mistake. Who knew Ebina would snicker and say:
“Fate … fufufu …”[1]
She licked her lips, looking like a devil with no decency at all.
Miura had always been here to stop her rampage! Great queen, please come here quickly! I shrunk my shoulders and prayed that this rotten storm would blow over.
As our new semester seat arrangement was based on our school number, Hayama was the one to sit in front of me.
Up until middle school, schools in Chiba arranged our school numbers by birthday, but for some reason they decided to arrange it by alphabetical order in high school. Damn it! Hayama’s birthday is on September 28th, if our seats were arranged by birthday, he would be in the back …
God, oh god, I just clearly remembered Hayama’s birthday … doesn’t that look like I care a lot about him …?!
Ebina seemed to have picked up on the maiden-in-love scene playing in my heart, as she quickly walked over and her rotten energy intensified.
Since becoming a third year, everyday has been like this.
Of course, the three of us aren’t always together.
From an outsider’s perspective, Hayama and Ebina frequently talk with the other classmates, and seem to socialize well. Rather, they seem to always be happy with everyone.
But maybe because of the seating arrangement, sometimes things like this happen.
For example, after school when everyone is thinking of what to do next, or during the brief time before and after class.
At times like these, a situation like this would gradually form, and Hayama, Ebina, and I would end up together.
Even if we did make eye contact, we seldomly talked, and any talk that did come up always ended in a simple two lines, not even counting as a conversation, pretty much the only way we“make conversation” is through sighing. But it’s still one month before the next seat change, so before then, this situation can only continue on.
If it’s just one month, I think I can make it through.
Furthermore, I’ve already had a whole years’ worth of experience with Hayama and Ebina, and at least know how to handle being with them.
We respect the same rules, that is, not to meddle too much with someone else’s business.
Because both Hayama and Ebina are inclined to maintain the status quo, getting along with them is quite easy. As of the other classmates … that’s not the case.
Hayama Hayato had always been one of those attention-hoarding people, same goes as Ebina.
Many people in the class have already known them to an extent, plus, there were definitely some that wanted to use this chance to get to know them.
And so, all the attention in the class naturally falls onto Hayama and his friends.
Even so, Hayama often uses a non-offensive manner to coolly block their gazes, while Ebina uses her rotten mode to make herself look like a clown character, so, no one has actually gotten close to them.
To be able to break though all these protective layers is probably pretty impressive …
Can’t say that I called it, but just as I was thinking about these things, a large ruckus sounded from outside the classroom, and the door in the back was opened.
“Hayato! Listen to me.” Accompanied by the ambient noise, someone came in crying out like how Nobita calls for Doraemon’s help. The one noisily running towards him is our former classmate, Tobe.
“This is bad! Yumiko is making me in charge of the 2F class gathering, but the soccer club is also preparing for the imminent competition, I already said I have no time to spare …”
Tobe came towards us and started playing with the hair on his nape, crying and complaining about his situation.
So that’s the case, that really does sound like trouble.
As for the people in remaining in the classroom, they had heard what Hayama and his circle were talking about, and formed a discussion that went “Ah … Miura … ah … so that’s it”.
But that level of understanding is not sufficient to truly understand Hayama and his circle.
Hayama and Ebina made no response. Surprisingly, Tobe subsequently changed the tone of his voice.
“This is not good; I’m betting my all on this last competition for the soccer club.”
With that said he took a glance at Ebina.
“But she’s forcing me to plan the gathering, what should I do? This is bad. I’m also in charge of the gathering for our new class, I wonder if there’s anyone else that can do it.”
With every sentence, no, every section, no, every word, he glanced towards Ebina.Even without deciphering the contents of his speech, it was evident that he was using a super self-humiliating way to boast about himself. But it seemed that it had little effect on his target Ebina. From the beginning of his speech, she had not uttered a word, only smiling and nodding.
“Sure is hard for you huh, Tobe-kun.”
Ebina’s indifference made Tobe stop talking for a moment, but that wouldn’t be enough to let Tobe down, that’s the kind of person he is.
“This is bad, this is really bad. Ah! If there was someone else that could do this other than me!
But I also want to prepare for my club! Ah! I’m in trouble! After all, this is our last year in high school, so we also have to do something about class gatherings.”
He was making it as if it was his last move before victory, with only one weapon called “boasting” to carry him on. Um, that weapon you have, it’s a bamboo gun…
His gallant effort sure was touching, but in the past few days, the frequency of his visits and boasting had increased substantially, to say the truth, as a bystander, it is quite sad to watch.
This dude, I feel like he’s the type of person who will one day send a “I may look frivolous, but during Mother’s Day I went home with my childhood bros to give her carnations” kind of uninteresting and crazy tweet.
The bystanders listening to him have also gradually made a “what’s up with that person…” kind of look.
But the one person that could solve this problem was non-other than the human air purifier Hayama Hayato, although I don’t know whether he has that plasma cluster-something function,it’s like he always has the fresh breath after eating a Frisk mint candy. He silently looked at Tobe and showed a smile.
Seeing his cool smile, Tobe somewhat shyly scratched his nose.
Hayama started speaking while maintaining his smile: “Doesn’t that mean everyone thinks you’re very reliable? That’s pretty good. Don’t worry about club, you can focus on planning the gatherings.”
An almost perfect reply. His speech really shows his matureness. Tobe was annoyingly boasting about himself there, and yet he could still reply with a smile and decent tone, he really is something.
Actually, the people listening to Hayama were also radiating a “Ah…Hayama really is something, he’s so mature…” kind of vibe.
But that level of understanding is not sufficient to truly understand Hayama and his circle.
For people that know Hayama well enough, his message was very evident.
It seemed that Tobe had picked up on this, and reached his hand towards Hayama’s shoulders, complaining: “Wait, wait! Hayato! Nonono! I also want to work hard for our club!”
But Hayama swiftly dodged Tobe’s incoming hand, and with a hammering smile, he said: “No need to worry about that anymore, worry about the class gathering, I’ll be cheering for you.”He showed off a cool smile with perfect white teeth that made Tobe brim with tears. It was like he was saying that the soccer club no longer needed him … the only person that could force Hayama to say such toxic things is probably Tobe only.
On the flip side, Tobe was able to make this annoying, twisted, cool, and dark-sided handsome person open up his heart, that’s really impressive in its own.
Seeing Hayama reveal his dark side, Ebina and I nodded without any surprise. As for the othersstill remaining in the classroom, they started to secretly chat with one another.
“Should we also consider arranging a class gathering?”
“Right? Let’s think of something too.”
The people in the class started to make conversation. Their conversation was supposed to be happening with their within their own circles, yet they were secretly shooting glances at Hayama in anticipation.
Things like class gatherings are usually organized by the leading figure of a group.
Although our classmates didn’t openly request for it, their intention was obviously to get Hayama to grant their wish for a class gathering. The whole class were waiting for Hayama to say “Let’s do it then (shiny white teeth ☆)!”.
Noticing this, Hayama lightly sighed.
That sure looks exhausting … this year he was sure to be the center of the class again, stuck being everybody’s Hayama Hayato.Just as I was trying my best to show my indifference, Tobe made an “Eh?” sound, and showed a worried expression.
It seemed that Tobe had also heard our classmates murmuring. He looked around his surroundings, pulled at the hair on his nape, and directed a question to Ebina.
“Ebina, have you guys not had a class gathering yet?”
“Yeah. No one’s planning one.”
Ebina troubledly laughed after being asked that question, turning to look at me and Hayama.
“Is there anyone that would plan one?”
“Who knows …”
Seeing that Ebina was elongating her sentences and feigning ignorance, Hayama lowered his shoulders in response. And then, as if he remembered something, the corners of his mouth floated into an annoying smile.
“Right?”
He directed this simple question towards me, and tilted his head towards me in fake concern.
Stop that, don’t ask me … what does this have to do with me … please don’t pull me into this mess …
To express my thoughts out loud, I took my new textbooks and straightened them on my desk, then I stowed them in my drawer. At the same time, picking up my bag to express my intention to leave. After all, it was nearing club time …
I tried getting out of my seat, but Ebina and Hayama continued speaking to me, completely ignoring my signals.
“But I do want to have a class gathering.”
“After all, if we don’t plan one now, there won’t be time later.”
“Yeah!”
Even Tobe, who was unrelated to our class matters, had joined in on the conversation, gradually, anticipation for a class gathering was growing in the classroom.
Not good … if I stay here, I will surely be forced to participate!
Even the three of them had began to throw glances at me that said “what to do”, like they were waiting for my reply. We were enveloped by a strange silence.
If I were to agree now, they would probably say something like “Then I’ll tell the girls, Hayama, you’ll be in charge of the boys, Hikigaya you’re in charge of contacting everybody, choosing the location and booking it, and we’ll rely on you for all the other errands”.
Even so, if I objected to the class gathering it would not stop this growing anticipation. Towards Hayama and Ebina, I feel like I can’t muddle past this with just an excuse. I’m really not adept at handling those two …
And so, there was only one thing for me to say: “If everything’s settled, remember to tell me …”
That was my killer technique.
Whenever there was going to be an activity, if I said those magic words, I could covertly express that I had no intention to be the leader.
The person saying this basically doesn’t need to do anything, not even chip in on the finances.
They are people that others would call an asshole, and so in most situations, this person would not be called on in the future. But if things were to actually shape up, they could solve it by saying “I’ll go if I can”. This technique originated from the polite way that people in Kyoto use to refuse others, but it seemed that Hayama and Ebina had caught up on what I was implying, the two of them showed a troubled smile, and lightly nodded their heads, with a look that said “Thought so”.
But sometimes you’ll meet that one person that just doesn’t understand.
The person I’m referring to is Tobe.
Tobe played with his annoyingly long hair, made a solemn expression after being immersed in his thoughts, then he suddenly patted my shoulder.
“You’re wrong, this type of thing needs to done in the moment! We need to decide it, now or never, or else if we consider everyone’s plans, this matter would never be settled. Just WEI it! WEI!”
“Oh, ok … don’t suddenly say something so correct …”
Because his smile directed towards me was too handsome, I accidently made a casual reply.
Even I had a reaction.
Tobe’s rude loud voice seemed to have entered the ears of all the people remaining in the classroom.
In front of the classroom, a few boys and girls that had formed a group suddenly looked back towards us.
The impression they gave at first glance, were not of people that caught the attention of others, and not like Hayama and his circle’s outstanding appearances, also not like the weird type you would find with the woodworks or game creation club’s members. Plus, they also did not seem to have the dark vibe that Sagami had..
To put it simply, they were what we call normal people. You might disagree at what the threshold is to be a normal person, but looking at the people I’m acquainted with, calling them normal would be most fitting.
Because of this, they blended in to school life very well. Rather, they did it so well that it was hard to even remember their names or faces.
Two of our classmates glanced at Hayama, then at each other, and softly spoke to one another: “What do we do?” “Do we say something?”, or something like that.
At last it seemed like they had reached a conclusion, one of the short black-haired girls in the group nodded and stood up.
Under her friend’s scrutiny, she nervously marched towards us.
Her hair was slightly curled in, it’s length going just around her shoulders, and her bangs rested on her pretty forehead. With each step, her hair bounced around.
Her facial features were favorable, and she gave off a lively vibe, adding to that, her stature was quite short, and the way she walked was like that of a small wild deer.
Because we had just recently been distributed to new classes, there were still many classmates that I could not recognize, yet, I knew this girl.
I think she was the one that became our class leader.
Her name was … uh … name … I think was Tomioka Mio?
No, Tomioka Mito? Or Tomioka Mika? Nono, it’s Tomioka something ... well it could be in reverse too ...
No matter what it was, I was certain was she was a To-something-san. I’m actually pretty good at remembering names, so much so that I haven’t forgotten the name of that Kawa-somethingsan. I wonder if Kawa-something-san is doing well now …
Just as I was trying to remember To-something-san’s name, To-something-san came beside us, took in a breath of air, and said to us:
“Um, about …!”
Out of nervousness, her voice came out somewhat sharp, but unexpectedly energetic. Because of the sudden disturbance from his back, Tobe jumped and gasped.
To-something was frightened back, and couldn’t speak for a moment.
Her sharp voice and Tobe’s unsightly gasp attracted the attention of everyone. Perhaps still being embarrassed from that, her face became all red. In the silence of the classroom, to make up for the awkwardness, she repeated again and again “Um …”.
Seeing the situation, Ebina lunged forward to hug her.
“Oh Toto, what’s up?”
Ebina called her with a nickname and started patting her head. That really is impressive … Ebina was talented at reading the mood, so her ability to resolve awkwardness was top class …
She really is the person that tamed the Miura-lion and the endangered Kawa-something-leopard ... if this goes on, Toto could become a new member of “Ebina’s Exotic Animal Kingdom ...”
Just as I was thinking about that, Toto seemed to have slowly calmed down in Ebina’s embrace.
Hayama saw that she had calmed down, and took the chance to ask her:
“Is there anything we can help you, Tomioka-san?”
Ah, it was Tomioka, yes, Tomioka-san. Uh-huh I already knew that. As I nodded my head, Hayama shot me a contemptuous glance that said “You forgot her name right?”. No, I remembered, ok? Wasn’t it To-something-san? You sure mind my business a lot. That said, in the end he would still remind me, Hayama-san is really such a gentleman☆!
Just as my maiden heart was going doki-doki☆, Tomioka-san was just like me, doki-doki-ing for Hayama.
“Um, you were talking about a class gathering, right?”
Tomioka-san stuttered as her face turned red, glancing at Hayama.
“Yeah, we were just discussing about. Were you talking about it over there as well?”
Hayama answered with his usual cool smile, making Tomioka-san frantically avert her gaze.
Wow, what a maiden-in-love reaction that was. Hayama senpai-pai is so handsome, just his looks set him apart from everyone, if it weren’t for me being used to it, I wouldn’t be able to gaze at him directly. I understand. Sometimes, I too don’t dare to gaze at him directly.
I smiled at the sight in front of me, just then, Tomioka-san’s averted gaze fell onto me, and we made direct eye contact.
Of course, of course. Her gaze didn’t leave me after that.
“Then, what do you plan to do after this ...? Um? A class gathering? Dinner together? Something like that …?”
Tomioka-san tightly held onto the ribbon in front of her chest, and looked at me with her earnest eyes. Because she couldn’t yet calculate the distance between us, she had a soft tone to her voice, from that, I could tell that she was a serious but air-headed person.
I’m guessing she said all of this because of the nonsense that Tobe was spouting earlier, like “We need to decide it, now or never, or else if we consider everyone’s plans, this matter would never be settled. Just WEI it!” Tobe, it’s all your fault, quick, apologize.
As a brotherly figure, seeing a girl try so hard makes me want to just go along with what she wants, but if we were to go for a class gathering right after this, it would be way too sudden.
I still have my own plans for later. Normally, “I have plans later” is just a common excuse to push away an event, and in reality, they are probably just watching re-runs of idol shows at home. But today I really did have plans that I couldn’t push away … to be honest if I could I really would want to.
To get away from Tomioka-san’s searing gaze, I could only look away to the side, towards Hayama for help.
Say, weren’t you the one being asked that question? Shouldn’t you be the one to answer? I silently pressured him, and gestured for him to respond quickly.
Hayama lightly sighed, nodding in answer to my plea, then, he immediately put on his usual cool smile and turned towards Tomioka-san.
“I’m sorry, but I have to go to club.”
“Ah, sorry Toto. We are very serious about soccer practice. I’m not sure about Hikigaya though.”
After Hayama rejected her with a smile, Tobe quickly followed up. Say, no one even called for you, you’re not even in the same class as us … but because I also have my own club to go to, I obediently nodded in agreement with them.
And so, Tomioka-san also nodded.
“Yeah, yeah I guess …! So, like, after club ends or something …”
She nodded her head like she understood, but despite her apologetic attitude, she didn’t give up just yet. Ah-ha, so we have a troublesome girl here.
Hayama and Ebina were also shocked by how stubborn she was.
Usually when Hayama uses his cool smile to reject others, the other side would give up. From what I know, the only person that this strategy wouldn’t work on is Yukinoshita Haruno.
“Toto, that’s some real spirit you got there. You’re right, we could always go after club!”
It seemed that Tobe had been swayed by Tomioka-san’s stubbornness, so he voted a yes for the gathering. Wait, I’m pretty sure you’re not in our class though …
“I have time today as well.”
Ebina slowly raised her hand in approval, and Hayama also nodded his head.
“After club huh …”
And then he glanced at me, asking me what I what I was going to do.
“Ah, today is not so convenient for me …”
I reflexively used that lame excuse, Hayama seemed to be baffled for a second after hearing that, but he quickly thought it through and regained his composure, nodding his head and saying: “Oh yeah. Then it looks like we really can’t go.”
“Huh?”
Because Hayama became so understanding out of nowhere, I couldn’t help but throw some suspicion at him. But before I could think any further, Tomioka-san hurriedly interrupted.
“Ah, anytime is fine! We’re just out to have fun, it’s fine even if we go at night …! Yeah?”“Um … so like, how do I say, it’s just that the timing really isn’t good …”
She really was being way too stubborn; I didn’t even know how to reply in that moment.
Meanwhile, Hayama was holding back a laugh, his shoulders shaking non-stop. Then he suddenly raised his head, and greeted me with his cool smile.
“Why not just say you’re not available tonight.”
“Yeah … that’s right, but why are you the one saying that … and how do you know …?”
Wait, what’s up with this guy, he’s been smiling so slyly since just now … hey, wait. He wouldn’t really know what’s up right? Wait a minute, wait a minute, no, are you kidding me? Wait, hey, what the hell is up with this person? God, he has been way too interested in my matters, right?
How scary.
I stared at Hayama, attempting to read past his cunning and annoying smile, but from the corner of my vision Tomioka-san raised her hand abruptly, her jumpy actions making me think how much she was like a hyper deer.
“Well, if that’s the case then let’s just do it next time! We can reschedule it to a time where Hikigaya-san can also participate!”
“Um, ah, excuse me … actually you really don’t need to care about me … I’ll go if I can next time, you guys should have fun, no need to mind me …”
If it was someone that knew me, they would quickly pick on the fact that I didn’t want to go, but for someone that’s speaking to me for the first time, it seemed that they didn’t understand.
Tomioka-san stared into my eyes, then shook her head side by side.
“No, I don’t think that is ok”
“Ah, really …”
Isn’t this kid way too serious …?
How have I been able to muddle past situations like this when my excuses didn’t work? Just as I was pondering this question, it looked like Tobe couldn’t bear the situation any further, and he stepped in to resolve the awkwardness.
“Then let’s just do it next week or the week after and see if our schedules meet!”
“Yeah.”
Hayato nodded in confirmation, and Tomioka-san also nodded back. Thank you, Tobe, even if we are in different classes, even if our class gathering has nothing to do with you, still, thank you.
With that matter solved, it was nearing club time. Hayama grabbed his schoolbag, noticing that, Ebina said to Tomioka-san:
“Want to go get dinner later? If we’re going to do a class gathering it would be best if we could talk about it first.”
“Ah, mm! Ok! Let’s go get dinner!”
“Let’s go, let’s go!”
It was supposed to be a girl’s gathering, but Tobe was inviting himself in, seeing that, Hayama smiled and said:
“Oh, so that’s how it is. Then you go along with them, have fun.”
“Heyyy, don’t be like that, Hayato.”
The scene of Tobe leaning on Hayama made Tomioka-san panic a bit, but as soon as she realized it was just how the two of them joked around, she showed a gentle smile. At the same time, Ebina was deep in thought, muttering:
“Ooh, that’s the kind of scene I want to see …”
That so, Tobe X Hayama, it actually sounds pretty good … no, or is it Hayama X Tobe …?
As I was thinking about these things, I picked up my bag and stood up from my seat.
As if that were the signal to leave, Hayama also stood up, and we left the classroom and entered the hallway. Tobe, Ebina, and Tomioka-san also followed along.
“I’m going ahead.”
After leaving the classroom, I muttered a useless comment, but just as I was heading to the club building—
“Hikigaya.”
Hayama abruptly called me, making me turn around.
“Good luck.”
“… What nonsense are you spewing.”
What are you talking about? — I wasn’t able to say that in time, and neither did I want to go back to ask. Most importantly, what I have to do today that would require luck, I know all too well.
Even if I were to feign ignorance, Hayama would definitely just say something like “Whatever, as long as you’re fine with”, it would be an empty comment, but something I can’t ignore.
And so, all I did was raise one side of my cheek, contort the corners of my mouth, and sigh as I replied in a harsh manner.
As for whether Hayama heard it, I’m not sure, as we left in different directions and there was no way to confirm.
But because I could still hear the sound of Ebina’s high pitched rotten speak “Hahaha that’s what I like, fufufu”, it’s safe to say that he heard what I had said. I was too scared to look back anyways, so I hurriedly fled the scene.
I walked speedily through the hallway, outside of the windows I could see the cherry blossoms in the courtyard.
A breeze of wind passed by me, blowing up a storm of white flower petals, and as the wind blew away, all that was left on the branches were fresh green shoots.
The sense of finality to the scene made me stop in my tracks and ponder.
This is the last spring of my high school life.
Summer is coming soon, but even as the new leaves sprout, spring doesn’t end just yet, instead a touch of green grows on.
—And so, our youth will not end, and spring will continue on.
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