Watashi, Dokidoki Renai Kakumei de Onii-chan Yattemasu - Chapter 65

Chapter 65

Soutarou and I chat as we wait for the year to end .
　It’s 23:45 now . The year will end soon . Soutarou and I head to Sakaki Shrine from the family restaurant for the first shrine visit of the New Year . It won’t even take 10 minutes to reach the Sakaki Shrine from this family restaurant .

“It’s cold, huh?”

“… Yeah . ”

　I hold Soutarou’s hand softly . His body temperature feels very warm, like a child’s .
　The two of us walk unswerving straight on the dark road . The small fluorescent light in the space between alleys is too weak to shine on us both .
　The road continues far ahead and one can reach their destination at some point if they keep walking . My anxiety now is similar . Even if I give up thinking, I may be able to reach the ending I picture if I somehow go to some good place .

　For example, obtaining the power to travel between this world and the other as I please, having the ability to be both male and female, and living happily with Soutarou and everyone . I have such a feeling .
　Magician, fairy, God, whoever it is, I believe that they will somehow turn this ending to something happy .
“Wouldn’t it be nice if we could go for the first shrine visit next year and the year after that together too?”

　I see a bashful Soutarou when I look up . I can’t bear it once I think that this smile will flicker in my head whenever I remember Soutarou after returning to the other side .
　Not just Soutarou . Kaname, Prince, Mitsuki and Hasumi too . I may think “I shouldn’t have returned to something like reality” when I remember them . I may think “I wouldn’t have such bitter thoughts if I remained in the world of Hearthrob Love Revolution”, repeatedly .
　Nah, I definitely will think so . Because those known as humans will always find the things they threw away more beautiful .

“You’ll bring me even if I refuse, right?”

　If only you’d go to reality to bring me . Even though I know such a thing is impossible, I end up clinging to a thread of hope .
　He hugs me tightly with a smile like that of an amiable dog . His strength makes my backbones seem like they’re about to break, and I forget about wanting to cry, instead smiling with exasperation .

“Of course . Not just me, everyone will come and fetch you . ”
　Just those words are enough .
　Although the romantic emotions of youths may be like mere measles, at the very least he’s cherishing me in this moment and at this time . It’s enough just knowing that .
　If I don’t think that way, I will hesitate returning to the other side . Even by force, I must accept this state of affairs or I will probably cry in an ugly yet loud voice .

“I’ll be waiting . I’ll always be waiting for you to come fetch me . ”

　I think I like Soutarou much more than I realised .

　It is at this moment . Feeling intense dizziness, I immediately crumble and sit down on the spot . Violent palpitations, pain in my joints, dizziness and nausea, I couldn’t quite remain standing . I’ve had these symptoms before . The symptoms I had when I was transported here . That, feeling of passing the ticket barrier .

　Don’t tell me, I’m already, already going back?
　No, I don’t want to go back yet! This is too cruel . Forcibly bringing someone here when they refuse and forcibly returning someone when they start to enjoy it . Taking captive and confinement, isn’t it a crime?
　Good for me, I enjoyed my genderbend trip to another world――…… as if I’m convinced with that!
　I don’t want to go back yet . I want to live in the same world and the same time as Soutarou and my precious friends . Like this . With a distance so close I can feel their body temperature, seeing, hearing and touching the same thing, I want a happy ending like in fairy tales .
　Feeling intense dizziness like my head shook directly, I almost unconsciously vomit on the spot . No thanks, I don’t want to become a geroine[1] after all this time .

“Mako?! What happened, you okay?!”

“Un, … I’m okay . ”

　The dizziness calmed down just a little and I manage to stand up unsteadily .
　Thank goodness . I’m still male . I still properly have the appearance of Sakurai Makoto .
　But it looks like a matter of time before I return to being female or return to the other world . In that case, I should probably at least give Soutarou a proper farewell and bid him goodbye as a proper male .

“I[2], like Soutarou . ”

“Eh, un . ”

“I like Soutarou’s cuteness and kindness very much . Though you may be sly at times . ”

　Perhaps delighted that I said I like him, pop, dog ears grow out and move energetically . Although I just said he’s sly, Soutarou’s cheeks are faintly dyed in vermilion as he shyly takes the my-head-hurts pose and look at me with upturned eyes .
　My heart reflexively squeeze when I look at that figure . I may have repeatedly said this but, I’m extraordinarily weak to this sort of sly guy . Unable to bear with his cuteness, yet also feeling sad, there’s a sharp pain in the center of my heart as though cupid’s arrow pierced it .
　Unable to bear with my feelings, I sandwich Soutarou’s cheeks between my palms and pull him towards me .
　What face will Soutarou make if I say I feel like kissing him?
　However, right before kissing, I remember that I was about to vomit just now . I calm down, because I expect it will be unpleasant to be kissed by this mouth .

“… Can I go to the toilet for a while? I want to gargle . ”

“Eh, what about the kiss…”

　The extremely disappointed Soutarou may be very cute but that doesn’t mean I’ll resume .

“As expected, one would hesitate to kiss with a mouth that was vomiting just now . ”

“I don’t mind!”

“I mind . I’ll return immediately so wait . ”

　Rinsing the mouth for kissing . I don’t like how it seems I’m eager to kiss, but it can’t be helped .
　Besides, the insides of a mouth that almost vomited will certainly feel gross .

“Then I’ll come with! I’m worried . ”

“Going to the bathroom together, are we girls? It’s fine . Come take a look if I don’t return after 10 minutes . That’s fine right?”

　Soutarou nods with visible reluctance .
　Entering the shrine’s public toilet, I gargle at the washstand . Although I feel slightly opposed to filling my mouth with the water from a washstand of a public toilet, I can’t be fastidious at this point . I decide to think that it’s water from the world of an otome game so it will be clean wherever .
　When I raise my head after gargling, I see the proper, usual me . The person who’s Mitsuki’s older brother, Sakurai Makoto .
　The very moment I feel relieved, a violent fit raise up once more . Thinking that I want to sit somewhere for the time being, I sit on the toilet seat of a private stall . Along with dizziness like the world is spinning, pain run through my joints as though they’re forcibly pressed from above and below .
　Some sort of authority may be trying to return me to my original form .  

　I unsteadily walk to the washstand again when the fit calms down . Timidly raising my head, there is a girl the epitome of ordinary, looking at me with a frightened expression .
　Even though I wished to turn back to a female and return to the other world, I feel a senseless sadness now that I’m no longer Sakurai Makoto .
　Nonetheless, it seems I’m still in the world of Hearthrob Love Revolution . This toilet is still the public toilet I was in just now, and the clothes on my body are what I’d been wearing . They’re rather baggy and are barely attached to me . The waist is almost the right size though… My waist when I was a guy was considerably thin, huh .

“But… why, only the body…”

　I don’t know why only my body returned to its original form, but this situation is extraordinarily inopportune .
　An unknown woman is in the toilet that Sakurai Makoto entered some time ago, moreover wearing Sakurai Makoto’s clothes . Should Soutarou see this, he’d definitely be bewildered .
　 I can’t use the toilet exit Soutarou should be waiting at, so I go out from the window . I’m the worst for leaving without notice but I can’t explain in this situation .
　It’s at a height I could easily climb over when I was male, but now I lack both height and strength . Pathetic .

“For the time being, to Subaru…”

　Somehow escaping the toilet, I contact Subaru . I start up the app while praying that it’s not a case of only Subaru returning ahead to the original world . Subaru immediately picks up when I call her .

“Subaru, I[3]… Makoto… I turned back to my original form . I’m no longer Sakurai Makoto…”

“Really! Mako, this is your voice as a girl isn’t it? I see, you turned back . Now, where are you? You can’t go back to the Sakurais’ house as a female, right? Come to my house for now . ”

“Un… un, Subaru, thanks…”

　Still not knowing what to do from now on, I aim for the Yurinos’ house unsteadily .
　I want to see his figure one last time . Looking at Soutarou from a distance, he’s still waiting for me . Looking at the night sky while rubbing his fingertips like he’s cold .

　――…… It’s me, sorry to keep you waiting . If only I can tell him that .
　If it’s Soutarou, perhaps he’ll notice that I’m Sakurai Makoto . However, it’s too painful if he doesn’t notice . I want to return while locking up pretty memories, while they’re pretty . Even if I’m being selfish .
“Soutarou… I liked you,”

　Soutarou’s side profile . Adam’s apple, shoulder, waist, arm, palm and foot . Don’t people say that new couples are intoxicated? We just started dating for a week . Do you not think it’s too cruel to break up after a week, unseen power-san?
　A sign of love that can’t be heard when parting, is like a tragic heroine wannabe . Giving a faint, wry smile at such a me, I aim for the Yurinos’ house .

　Is my body starting to prepare to leave bit by bit?
　How long will it take before I completely return to the other world?
　There are too many things I don’t know that it goes past sadness, to irritation . This is why it would have been easy to understand if an enthusiastic God typical of trips to another world appears, or if this was a reincarnation trip where I was granted a cheat after dying in an unforseen accident . Ah, this isn’t dissing! There was an emotional portion in the opinion just now . I apologize .
　My pace gradually quickens . Hot tears trail down my cheeks . The tears that don’t stop even when I wipe and wipe, are annoying . But I can cry because I’m not a guy anymore . I’m now a frail girl!
　Ah, we should’ve at least kissed at the end . Because a completely unromantic kiss with the taste of stomach acid, should be something Soutarou will never taste again for the rest of his life . It will be good if he’d remember me along with the worst memory . That guy, it will be good if he remembers me every time he wants to vomit!
　Because I definitely won’t be able to forget Soutarou, so that should make two of us .

[1] Play on ‘heroine’ . A female character with a vomit scene .
[2] As in most of the novel, Makoto used ‘ore’, the masculine version of ‘I’ .
[3] Also ‘ore’ here .