Prologue
It had been about a week since we’d returned from the Royal Capital, and the end of the year was approaching. Actually, it was better to describe it as the approach of the Foundation Festival since the festival marked the end of the calendar year in the Kingdom of Valschein. The Foundation Festival took place in winter, so I liked to think of it as New Year’s.
The fall harvest was over, and tax calculations had been completed. Every year, both commoners and aristocrats would get the day off to celebrate this holiday, but Dolkness County had no time for rest. Patrick’s and my wedding was planned for a date with impeccable timing—it would be right before the excitement of the Foundation Festival would die down, and it was also before the arrival of spring. Invitations had been sent out long ago.
Since I’d uncharacteristically gotten involved in central matters, I wanted to take a break, but there was no time for that. I didn’t even have time to get sentimental and think, Wow, I’m getting married...
I was sitting in the lord’s office, waging a staring contest against tax-related documents. To celebrate the change in lords and gain favor with my people, I had decided that the county wouldn’t be collecting taxes this year, but we still recorded the harvest and calculated what we would’ve collected in taxes. I was starting to get depressed about how things were going to be even more work next year.
I took a quick break to stretch, and Eleanora entered the office.
“Yumiella, do you have a moment?”
“Is something wrong?”
“No, I don’t have any matter in particular to discuss, but...I wanted to spend some time with you. Is that all right?”
Eleanora’s so cute! Yay! So this is what comes off as cute. I’ll use it on Patrick another time. Until now, I’d been coming up with random topics to create an opportunity to talk to him, but thinking back on it, it might not have been that endearing.
I happily welcomed Eleanora. “Of course. I was just thinking it would be nice to take a break.”
“Yay! I’m so glad!”
No matter what we were talking about, it was a fun time with my dear friend Eleanora. Even if the topic was something I had no interest in, if it was important to Eleanora, I could listen to her go on about the most inane things. That’s how you show respect to a person!
“Do you remember the perfume I introduced you to? It’s more real than a real...”
No matter how much someone might want to, most people couldn’t catch a four-seam fastball going 160 kilometers per hour—similarly, there were just some things that humans couldn’t do. That’s why it couldn’t be helped if I zoned out a bit. Once Eleanora got going about perfumes, she wouldn’t stop. If I asked one question, she’d respond to it with one hundred answers’ worth of information. She could easily talk for four hours straight when it came to fragrances.
But I’d experienced this several times by now, and I was starting to gain some knowledge on perfumes. I knew what she was about to discuss right now. It was easy for me to follow along.
“I’ve heard of that. You’re talking about the imposter who founded Parfeu, the perfumer Tritus, right?” Parfeu was Eleanora’s favorite fragrance brand. I’d been forced to hear the name countless times since we were students, so it was burned into my memory. That also meant I needed no further explanation. “If I remember correctly, he gets inspiration from his surroundings, like scenery, objects, and culture, when making perfumes...”
“His name is Sir Quartus,” Eleanora said, correcting me. “Let me start from the beginning.”
I see. It was Quartus, not Tritus. I’d just mixed up whether his name had a three or four in it, but Eleanora ever so graciously decided to explain things from the beginning. This is going to take a while.
And so, time passed slowly—the seas dried up, the land dried out, and everything in the world weathered. Eleanora energetically kept talking, and we eventually reached the truth of the matter.
“That was when I realized, it was all lies!”
“What?! I can’t believe it was all made up.” Though I responded to show I was listening, I couldn’t figure out what she was talking about. We’re talking about perfume, right?
Eleanora’s ability to explain things left much to be desired, and my understanding was just not there. Both the speaker and listener lacking in skill was like the car wheels not touching the ground. We ultimately couldn’t get anywhere.
Eleanora’s topic wrapped up for now, and she seemed to have noticed that she’d gone on for quite some time. “Oh dear, I’ve been talking about myself this entire time... Is there anything that’s been on your mind these days, Yumiella?”
This was the branching point of my fate. If I pulled out a shared topic of interest here, we could both be engaged in the conversation. I decided to play it safe and go with something that all of humanity would be interested in. Oh, I know!
“Would you be interested in talking about strong concealable weapons that can be made using the technology this kingdom has access to?”
“You really seem to be fond of such topics, Yumiella...” Eleanora had been wearing an elated smile until mere moments ago, but her expression suddenly clouded over. Do mechanical weapons not make a good topic for some girl talk? Eleanora continued with a sad—no, exasperated—look. “You’re already so strong. What else are you trying to battle?”
“I just want the weapons because they’re cool. I’m not a member of a warrior race or anything.”
“But you think like a warrior—you want to fight those who are stronger than you.”
“I’m not going out of my way to find someone stronger than me. It’s just that I know I’m the strongest, so I can’t forgive anyone spreading lies about being stronger than me.”
“I think you’re the only person who could hold their own against you.”
I’m the only one who could hold their own against me? Is she talking about Yumiella 2? I was thinking of the Yumiella from the parallel world, but Eleanora believed 2 was a different person who just looked like me. It didn’t seem like she was referring to my doppelgänger, so she must have truly meant that I should fight myself.
“Me versus myself, huh?”
That meant I needed to fight a clone or copy of myself. I would be fighting someone who was the same as me in every sense, including having the same physical specs, level, and thought process.
Even if I tried to punch myself in the face, we’d have the same reach, so she’d probably use a cross counter. That was why I’d actually go for a low kick... No, wait, she’s me, so she’d think the same thing. Then I would anticipate that and deliver a flying kick...which she would also think to do.
Then what would happen if we took thinking out of the equation and resorted to mudslinging? There was no way a copy would stand up against the original me. Well, she’ll think she’s actually the original...
We’d both anticipate each other’s movements, and we’d make a move at the same time, only for it to be a misdirection and lead to another staring contest. Maybe magic would... No, there can be a gap between casting a spell and it activating, so it’d be difficult to figure out the right timing...
“Yumiella? Yumiella?!”
“Huh? What? What is it?” Why is Eleanora calling my name? Actually, I don’t even remember her being here. Oh wait, right, we were in the middle of a conversation. I’d accidentally gotten lost in thought, fighting against my imaginary clone.
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t stop my imagination from running wild.”
“This might be my fault for even bringing it up... It’s nothing you need to think about so seriously. It’s just a hypothetical.”
“But I keep thinking about those what-ifs.”
“There’s no use in thinking about it, you know? You can’t make a clone of yourself, nor can you split your single body into a right side and left side.”
“Right and left...?”
“Oh dear, I’ve really done it now.”
I see. Yumiella Dolkness is undoubtedly the strongest, ultimate force in the world, but it’s unclear whether Yumiella’s right or left side is stronger. I’m right-handed, so I think my right side is probably stronger. But I was also right-handed in my past life, yet my left hand had a stronger grip. The skilled right versus the powerful left...which is the ultimate force? What’s my current grip strength like? I wonder how different my right and left hands are.
“Yumiella! Yumiella?! It looks like I’m too late...”
I can’t just base it off of my hands. My heart is on my left side, and more of my liver is on the right side... What’s going on with my organs might also help determine which side is stronger. Spatial awareness, which is important for fighting, is governed by the right brain. So maybe the right side is more... Wait, but the right brain controls the left side of my body. The left brain is my right side’s ally, and the right brain is my left side’s ally, right? Since my nerves are crossed over, that would mean the same for my eyes. The information my right eye gets is sent to my left brain.
“Sir Patrick! Please help! Yumiella has set off into the world of her own imagination, and she’s not coming back!”
My dominant hand and dominant eye are both on my right, but I kick a ball using my left foot. Kicking in general is always with my left foot. That’s why even if I have an advantage on my right with punches, kicks should be stronger on my left. Still, my right side might still be stronger... Oh, I still haven’t figured out the issue of my nervous system being crossed over. I should figure out whom my right brain is allied with.
“Yumiella!” Patrick called out. “Yumiella! Daemon’s brought extra reports for you to go over!”
“Here’s a cookie, Yumiella...” Eleanora said. “Oh! She ate it!”
It didn’t seem like I was going to figure out who was stronger: Right Yumiella or Left Yumiella. Mmm, cookie yummy. Oh right. I forgot about my mouth. It’ll be difficult to talk with just half a mouth.
If my mouth was split down the middle, which would have an easier time talking? Magic doesn’t require reciting chants to activate so I don’t need my mouth for that, but it’ll be important for coordinating attacks with others. I guess I’m trying to decide who would win between Right and Left Yumiella, so coordination isn’t an issue. I guess I’ll stop thinking about my mouth. Mmm, tea yummy.
“I tried bringing some tea up to her mouth, and she drank it!”
“So she’s still conscious, and she’s just in such a daze that she looks like she’s lost consciousness.”
“What shall we do about this, Sir Patrick?”
“Hm... I think we just have to wait until she returns to normal. For now let’s put her to bed, and we’ll decide what to do based on how she seems tomorrow...”
Wait, my left hand has my engagement ring, which is also a magical instrument. The wind-type magical energy that Patrick filled the ring with might tip the scales of victory. Wind... That would mean a cyclone, so wouldn’t it be weird for my left side to have it? Wind should be on the right side. Should I move my engagement ring to my right hand?
“Rita! Rita! We’re free to do Yumiella’s makeup all we want right now!” Eleanora exclaimed. “She won’t notice if we wash it off in the bath!”
“Why has Lady Yumiella’s soul left her body?” Rita asked.
“It hasn’t, she’s just busy with a battle going on in her imagination. There’s no use worrying about it.”
I love asymmetrical robots, but I myself am a mostly symmetrical human. Still, even though I might be symmetrical, my right and left sides aren’t exactly the same. That’s why it’s more difficult to figure out who would win than in a battle versus a copy of myself.
“She won’t be like this all night, will she...?” Rita asked.
“Is she asleep with her eyes open?” Eleanora asked next.
Okay, then. I’ve finished sorting through the requirements, so it’s time to actually make Right Yumiella and Left Yumiella fight in my mind.
“Right versus Left!” I suddenly exclaimed. “Begin!”
“It doesn’t seem like she’s asleep,” Patrick remarked.
“You’re right. She just hasn’t returned yet.”
Suddenly, day had turned to night, and I was in my bed. Before I even knew it, I’d fallen asleep.
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