Chapter 6: The Hidden Boss Gets Pampered by Her Parents
It was the day after the court conference, and a thought had suddenly popped into my mind.
“What the heck is a Lord of Leveling?” I found myself saying aloud. “That makes no sense.”
“I agree,” Patrick said.
It wasn’t out of the ordinary to feel differently about something after sleeping on it. (Although another contributing factor might have been that Patrick had spent quite a while last night convincing me that the whole Lord of Leveling business was ridiculous.) Even setting Patrick’s points aside, now that I was thinking about it calmly, the entire concept of the Lord of Leveling made no sense.
“What should I do?” I asked. “I said some things that were kind of weird during the court conference.”
“Kind of?” Patrick shrugged. “It’s fine... I’m sure everything with the Lord of National Affairs will settle down. When we were leaving, His Majesty said they’ll be dissolving the position.”
Did he say that? I was so focused on the Lord of Leveling that I don’t remember much else.
We’d been able to quash all of Marquess Prynan’s objectives, and the Archiam family seemed to be headed in a good direction—everything had turned out great, so I decided to consider that all’s well that ends well.
I nodded with satisfaction. “Now we can go home without any worries.”
“Things took a little longer than expected. Are you okay with returning tomorrow? Is there anything else you have left to do?” Patrick asked.
There wasn’t anything more for me to do in the Royal Capital. Wait, there’s something I heard at the meeting last night in the king’s study that’s still bothering me.
“There’s a lot that can be learned from our children.”
“By facing those who are younger and less experienced, you can also face the juvenile, inexperienced parts of yourself.”
Though I didn’t think that raising a child made you a better person, it was undoubtedly a valuable experience. I could certainly think of some people who’d had a child, yet had no experience with child-rearing. In fact, they lived in this very house.
It didn’t help that they had found their black-haired child disturbing and so had sent her back to their territory as soon as possible. There was a good chance that my parents had never held me even once as an infant. They hadn’t given themselves the opportunity to rethink things—to hold me and consider that their child might actually be cute, despite her black hair.
Thinking back on it, my parents had never once tried to have a relationship with me. Though our relationship as a family was at this point far beyond saving, perhaps if I reached out to them and made them experience an aspect of child-rearing by speaking with their child, as late as it might be, things might improve just a little.
I made up my mind and declared my resolve to Patrick. “I’m going to try talking to my parents again.”
“Where’s this coming from?” Patrick asked, surprised.
“It was just a thought. I have something I need to prepare first, so I’m going to go and take care of that.” I decided not to go into too much detail and set off to begin making preparations.
“Good luck,” Patrick said as I left.
Thanks, Patrick. I’m going to do my best.
◆◆◆
Some time had passed, and it was now the afternoon. I’d finished making my preparations, and I had made my way to my parents’ room. I took a deep breath to calm myself down before knocking on the door and opening it.
My parents... Actually, that sounds so formal. Let’s call them Mommy and Daddy. Mommy and Daddy were in the middle of having a little afternoon snack. They were enjoying some pancakes together. From what little I’d seen of them and what I’d heard from the servants, it seemed that my parents were actually quite lovey-dovey. I can’t believe the child of a couple so in love with one another was left out of all the fun. My parents seemed a little heavier than when I’d last seen them. Perhaps it was due to their shut-in lifestyle.
The moment Daddy saw me, he quickly stood up. “You! What are you doing here?!”
This is actually my estate now. I think I’m allowed to do whatever I want in my own home. Though I’d usually talk back in such a manner, things were different today. Love wasn’t something to be received, but something you had to give. Today, for the first time ever, I was going to act like a baby and force my parents to pamper me. As embarrassing as it was, I planned to call them “Mommy” and “Daddy.”
“Mmm! Nnnn!” I tried to call out, my mouth full.
“What is that...?” Daddy asked.
“Mmnnph, mnn...” It was too difficult to speak, so I pulled the pacifier out of my mouth. I’d thought that pacifiers were a must-have item for a baby, but I hadn’t realized that it would make my speech completely unintelligible.
It’ll make me less of a lovable baby, but I have no choice but to continue without it. Actually, do they even know what a pacifier is? You probably miss out on some basic knowledge when you immediately send your newborn away.
“This is a pacifier,” I explained, holding it up.
“I know that!” Daddy fumed. “Why do you have that with you?!”
“You and Mommy never interacted with me as a baby, Daddy. I thought it was unfortunate that you never got to see your precious daughter at her cutest. Come on, fawn over me all you like. I’m your baby.”
Naturally, I had a bib on as well. The servant who I had asked to purchase these items for me had said that I was getting ahead of myself, but if anything, I was behind and needed to catch up.
I made my way closer to Daddy. Conveniently for me, he was standing up, so I waved my hand and signaled for him to move and sit next to Mommy. I lay on the vacated space on the sofa—facing up, of course. Sleeping on my stomach at such a young age carried the possibility of suffocation, and I was just a baby who couldn’t turn myself over yet.
“Waaah, waaah,” I said plaintively.
“Wh-What’s the meaning of this?!” Daddy exclaimed.
“Save me, dear!” Mommy cried as she clutched at Daddy.
I’m well aware of how close you two are. Hurry up and comfort your crying daughter.
Since I couldn’t actually perform that specific cry that infants had, the one that brought their parents running, I was just saying “waaah” out loud. I couldn’t recreate the scrunched up face babies made while crying either; my face carried its usual lack of expression.
“Waaah, waaah,” I repeated.
“I’m so sorry,” Mommy wailed. “I’m sorry for giving birth to such a child.”
“It’s all right,” Daddy assured her. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”
“Waaah...” I repeated. “Hurry up and comfort me! Your baby is crying!” The two were neglecting their infant. Mommy had started sobbing, and Daddy was busy comforting her. What’s wrong with you two? My patience was running thin.
“Tell us your demands,” Daddy said as he pulled Mommy closer to him.
“Peekaboo.”
“Peek... What?”
“Peekaboo. You know what it is, don’t you?”
“I do...”
“Please play it with me. If you’re really a daddy, you should be making your daughter smile. Waaah, waaah.”
“Everything will be all right. I love you,” Daddy whispered into Mommy’s ear before making his way toward me. He covered his face with both hands. It’s coming! “Peekaboo...”
I believed I would see Daddy’s smile appear, but what had come out from behind his hands was a lifeless, corpse-like face. He completely subverted my expectations... That’s hilarious!
“Hee hee hee!” I let out that distinctive laugh that babies had, a sound which was hard to tell apart from crying. (Of course, it was impossible to fully imitate, so I was actually expressionlessly saying “hee hee hee” in a flat tone.)
All right, I’ve bonded with Daddy. Next is Mommy’s turn. She seemed like she wouldn’t be able to understand what a baby wanted, so I decided to voice my needs out loud.
“I’m hungry.”
“I’ll have something prepared—”
“I want to eat right now.”
“Um, if you’re all right with these pancakes...” Mommy offered me the pancakes on the table. They were untouched, and covered in a generous amount of honey... Wait. Honey?!
“It’s common knowledge that you can’t give honey to a baby!” I exclaimed.
“Common knowledge?!” she repeated, perplexed.
“You should at least know that much as someone who’s had a child.”
Eating honey could cause an infant under a year old to suffer from botulism. Though it seemed like something a baby might enjoy, since it was a sweet liquid, honey was an absolute no-go for infants.
I lay there on the sofa, completely exasperated. Though she seemed to feel bad, Mommy also seemed unsatisfied with the way things were going.
“Even without the honey, pancakes wouldn’t work,” I explained. “I don’t have teeth yet, so I can’t eat solid foods.”
“It seems like you have all your teeth...”
“Don’t you know what babies drink to grow big?”
Was it possible that she’d never seen an infant before, since she’d neglected raising her own child? Our conversation was becoming such a mess that such fears were starting to cross my mind.
Mommy wrapped her arms around her body, covering her chest as she took a step back. “You don’t mean...”
“No, that’s way too far.” No way. That’s way too much. I may be a “baby,” but I’m a full-grown adult. It would only cause trouble for both of us if my mother were to take this role-playing to the next level, so I brought out another item I’d prepared. Ta-da! “Here you go.”
“What is that...?”
Baby bottles existed in this world... They had them, so they exist. There aren’t any status windows, bicycles, or seafood rice bowls, but there’s a level system, horse-drawn carriages, and baby bottles. That’s the kind of world this is.
The baby bottle was filled with milk. The maid who’d filled the bottle with milk for me said I was getting ahead of myself, but I was in fact roughly twenty years late.
Mommy looked at the baby bottle and seemed confused. What? You don’t know what this is?
I voiced the thought. “It’s a baby bottle... You don’t know what this is?”
“I see,” she said faintly. “I’m supposed to feed you with it.” I could see a firm resolve in her eyes, like she was about to commit murder. She took the baby bottle.
I’m so glad she’s trying this child-rearing thing. I guess you can’t help but feel that motherly instinct when you see your baby hungry. As for Daddy and his fatherly instinct, he seemed like he couldn’t care less about my empty stomach.
“Stop this!” he insisted. “I’m begging you!”
Please quiet down, Daddy. Mommy’s willing to try.
The trembling baby bottle made its way closer to my mouth. I grabbed onto the tip and began sucking on it, drinking the milk. No matter how hard I sucked, only a little bit of milk made its way into my mouth, and it felt very frustrating.
I didn’t drink that much, but I guess this is good enough. I let go of the baby bottle. I’ll act happy since I’m supposed to be full.
“Hee hee.”
“Is it over...?” Mommy had gone completely pale, and she stumbled backward.
I knew it. You don’t just feed your baby, lay them down, then call it a day. You have to do that thing after eating.
“Excuse me,” I said politely. “Can you sit me up and tap on my back? I need to burp.”
Mommy, whose motherly instincts had been completely awakened, was immediately by my side. Her voice trembled as she spoke between tears. “Yes, I’ll do it.”
She grabbed both my shoulders and pulled me up from the sofa. Since it would be cruel to make Mommy pick me up with her thin arms, I helped get myself up. The moment I sat up, I let my head flop to the side without any warning.
“Eeeeeek!” Mommy squeaked.
“My apologies. I can’t hold my own head up yet.”
Mommy fell backward. She screamed, and she fell to the floor. Babies needed their heads supported when held—otherwise, their heads would flop around, which was dangerous. I hope she’ll learn her lesson and avoid holding babies in the incorrect way.
Mommy’s piercing shriek seemed to echo throughout the estate, and I heard footsteps running toward us. Less than a minute after the scream and fall, Patrick appeared.
“What’s going on?!” As soon as he opened the door, Patrick froze up.
I was sitting there with a bib, my head flopped to the side. Mommy was on the ground and couldn’t seem to get up. Daddy had rushed over to Mommy, and he was holding her in his arms. Patrick was surely grateful to witness such a picturesque scene of a family having fun together.
After taking in this heartwarming moment straight out of a rambunctious family comedy, the expression on Patrick’s face slowly drained away before he silently exited the room, closing the door behind him.
“Wait!” Daddy exclaimed. “Please, help us!”
“Don’t go!” Mommy cried. “I’m begging you!”
Patrick was gone. I could tell that he was trying to be considerate of our family time, but for some reason my parents were desperately trying to stop him from leaving. After a short moment, Patrick returned and shot me a look of incredible displeasure.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m a baby,” I said.
“You shouldn’t do that...” he responded with a sigh.
“Are you trying to say that it’s uncomfortable to see me acting like a baby?”
“Why would you do it at all when you clearly understand all that?”
It’s all to repair my relationship with my parents, duh. I’ll stop, then. I was hoping for them to go, “So cute!” They don’t seem to care for the baby act at all though. I guess Baby Yumiella, age nineteen, is too much for my parents to handle.
I decided to give up on trying to start over with my parents. I guess that it was actually perfectly fine for a child and their parents to never see eye to eye, for the entirety of their lives.
After losing my momentum, I stood up and left the room. I noticed Patrick wasn’t following, so I turned around and saw something unbelievable: my mother and father had extended their hands to hold Patrick’s, and they were thanking him.
“Thank you. Thank you very much,” my father said. “I’m truly grateful that you’re taking that off our hands.”
“I’m so sorry,” my mother apologized. “It’s all my fault for giving birth to a girl like that.”
Patrick seemed troubled by the four hands holding his. “I don’t think you should be referring to your own child in such a way—”
“I’m so glad to have you,” sobbed my mother. “I can’t believe you’re even going to marry her.”
Why are they getting along with their son-in-law better than with their own daughter? Not only had my parents left me out of their little group, they’d accepted Patrick while still excluding me. I pouted and left.
Still, while Baby Yumiella might have seemed like an act that made me look incredibly ridiculous, if it had created an opportunity for my parents and Patrick to become closer, I was glad that I had done it.
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