Chapter 3 The Staff Fight Harder than the Contestants and Take More Damage. Why?
Clear skies for the second day of the World Matriarchal Arts Tournament.
The inn’s garden was bathed in sunlight, even this early. A perfect day for laundry.
“Let’s get these hung out to dry! …Masato, can you step back a bit?”
“Uh, sure.”
Chaliele scattered some tiny seeds on the ground. They quickly sprouted, stalks rising.
They grew into tall, thin trees with branches shaped like hangers.
“Wow… Those are bizarre-looking. What are they?”
“Trees for hanging laundry! Your first time seeing them?”
“Completely. You even grow your own laundry lines… Elf moms are amazing. But, uh… Wait, are they moving?”
“Yes, these trees move. The elves live deep in the forest, and not much sunlight makes it through the leaves. So as you can see…”
Masato’s shirt and a pair of underwear belonging to—he wasn’t sure, but definitely a girl—were hung on the tree.
The clothes-hanger tree tiptoed around on its roots before finding a good, sunny spot. “See? Isn’t that handy?” “Definitely.” He meant it. Every home should have one.
But he couldn’t stand around being impressed all day.
“Masato! Over here! Gimme a hand!”
“Uh, sure! Got it!”
The mother calling him was the beastkin, Growlette. She was lugging some rolled-up futons. “Where do we hang that…?” “Here’s fine! Hah!” Growlette slammed her fist into the ground. It cracked, and a rock slab shot up out of it.
“Let’s get these futons aired out! It’s a beautiful day, perfect for the task!”
“R-right… So beastkin moms use underground rock slabs to hang futons… Incredible stuff…”
“Oh, have you seen Nympha around? Since we’re doing laundry anyway, I’d love it if she could give me a hand…”
“You called?” the fairy said, popping out.
“Augh! You were in my pocket again?!”
Nympha poked her head out of Masato’s shirt pocket, then flew upward on butterfly wings.
She burrowed into the laundry, rubbing against it, then rolled across the futons. “…What are you doing?” “Take a whiff, and you’ll see.” Masato sniffed the clothing she’d rubbed against.
“Whoa! That smells amazing! Like really good fabric softener!”
“If you have a fairy mother around, your clothes and rooms will all smell like flowers. No need for air fresheners!”
“Everyday elegance! Fairy mothers are awesome!”
“Thank you. Even if it’s just flattery, having my son say that makes me happy.”
“No, no, it’s not flattery at— Wait, did you just make me your son?”
Her work done, Nympha settled on Masato’s head for a rest. “Uh… About that son thing…” She just started blowing bubbles, striking an elegant pose.
Either way, the task was done.
One son and three moms stood together, watching the laundry flutter in the breeze.
“Uh, so thanks for your help, Moms.”
“Thank you, Masato. Your help made the work go by that much faster.”
“No, no… I barely helped at all… I spent the whole time being amazed by the skills of mothers of other races.”
“Quit being so modest! Getting up early to help us moms out is a good thing! You’re a good boy!”
“Not everyone would do that. You really are a wonderful son, Masato.”
“Th-thanks… Actually, there was a different reason for that, but, uh… Ha-ha.”
The reason why he’d woken up early to help out was…
Meanwhile, inside the inn.
All hell was breaking loose.
“Arghhh! Please! Just put something on! Get dressed!”
“No!” “No clothes!” “Missy’s got pink undies!”
“Because you’re all running around, and we’re supposed to be watching you, we can’t get dressed either! So please start by putting on some clothes!”
“You’ve got white undies!” “Undies!” “Und— Erk…!”
“Eep! The mermaid child is drying out! I’ll carry her to the sink and get her wet!”
“Porta’s undies have a bunny!” “Cute!” “Cute!”
First thing that morning, Growlette had barged in and hauled all the laundry away. The result: The beastkin children, the mermaid child, and the fairy child were all running naked through the halls.
Like the kids, Growlette had pulled the girls’ pajamas off, leaving them in their underwear, but before they had a chance to get dressed, they’d been swarmed.
That was hardly a place Masato could afford to hang around. Ever.
Seeing girls in their undies was wrong…and that gentlemanly reason might even be a small part of it.
More than anything else, though, he simply didn’t want to be involved. He’d made an emergency escape, picked the garden at random, and encountered the mothers dealing with the laundry. That was the only reason he was here.
But that was a secret.
Back to the laundry area of the garden…
Masato was talking to the other mothers again.
“But I was pretty surprised last night, Growlette. You just showed up out of nowhere and announced you’d be staying here now!”
“Turn a blind eye to that, please. We lost our battles, so they kicked us out of our inns…but just heading back home with my tail between my legs ain’t happening, got it?”
“I, at least, wanted to see the rest of the tournament. So I was searching for other lodgings when I happened to run into this committee member named Shiraaase…”
“Oh, okay. She hooked you up, huh? Nothing she can’t do.”
“I believe there are several others staying here as well… See, over there!”
Chaliele pointed at a corner of the inn.
A familiar-looking middle-aged woman was standing there, holding a watering can.
“Oh…? Isn’t that…the martial artist? Katou, was it?”
“Y-yes! That’s right! Good morning!”
When Masato called out, she came hustling over with a watering can in hand.
“M-Masato! Would you train with me?”
“Er… Train? With a watering can?”
“Yes! The martial arts taught in my home begin by honing your body through household chores…and I’m sure they’ll make you stronger, Masato! Try it!”
“Me? Stronger?! I’m in! Please tell me more!”
Hooked by his favorite phrase, Masato started training with her.
Standing by the flower beds, legs spread shoulder width apart, hips lowered, arms outstretched, holding a full watering can steady, slowly tipping it…
“Oof… This definitely takes its toll on your arms and legs… But I can handle it…”
“Well done. Your muscles are in top form.”
“You mean it? Actually, I’ve been thinking the same thing lately, you know.”
“You have the raw talent, Masato… If only you could marry my daughter, become my son, and inherit the dojo… I’m starting to seriously consider the possibility.”
“I’ve got that much talent? Wow! Ah-ha-ha!”
Just as he was beginning to ponder becoming a martial artist…
“Back up!”
…Growlette and the other mothers, who’d been watching with smiles, suddenly surrounded Masato, glaring at him.
“We’re not about to let that pass!”
“Yeah! You aren’t the only one trying to make Masato your son, Katou!”
“Were you not aware that he is already my son?”
“Er, um… What?”
It was like someone had hit a gong, signifying the start of a war over Masato.
“You want a mom with pointy elf ears, right?” Twitch, twitch.
“Look, Masato! A tail! You love tails!” Fluff, fluff.
“Masato—I’m a handy portable mom you can have with you all the time.” Rub, rub.
“P-please be the child of this super-ripped mom!” Flex, flex.
“What? What’s going on? Being surrounded by women is supposed to be a good thing, but they’re all moms—what even is this?!”
A mom with legendary ears. A mom with a fluffy tail. A mom you can keep in your pocket. A mom who could bench press with the best of them. Each putting their greatest sales pitch forward, tempting him, trying to get him to be their son. It was… It was…
…not something Mother Earth would let stand.
“Mm? Is the ground shaking? This slight trembling underfoot— No?!”
A special mom skill that pinpointed her son’s location and forcibly disrupted whatever was happening there.
A Mother’s Fangs.
An instant later, the ground between Masato and the mothers erupted. “Augh?!” A massive earth spike forced its way up between them. This was, of course, the work of…
“Oh, Ma-kun! There you are! Mommy’s on her way!”
As Masato fell to the ground, Mamako came running full speed in his direction, Terra di Madre in one hand. Yep. She’d done it again. This was all her fault.
“Hey, Mom! What the hell? You can’t go scaring people like—!”
“So this is the fabled motherly fretting skill.” Nod, nod.
“She is a mother. She’s bound to fret.” Nod, nod.
“Very handy when you don’t want your son stolen.” Nod, nod.
“And her instincts tell her when it’s needed.” Nod, nod.
They all seemed to take it in stride. Like it was normal.
Meanwhile…
“Wh-what the—?! What happened?!”
“This is…Mamako’s skill, A Mother’s Fangs!”
“Wow, that surprised me!”
Three girls in their underwear were leaning out the window. “Geez! Don’t scare us!” “It wasn’t my fau—mmph?!” A pillow smacked Masato in the face. Cruelty!
But Mamako was here now.
“Ma-kun, good morning! It’s your mommy!”
“Yeah, yeah, no need to remind me. I know who you are. You aren’t an elf or a beastkin or a fairy or insanely buff… Other than your unnaturally youthful looks, you’re a perfectly normal mom.”
“Okay! If you want me to be, I’ll become a special mommy! An elf or a beastkin or a fairy or muscle-bound or whatever you want! Just you watch!”
“Huh?”
Mamako had clenched her fist, straining herself. “Hnggggg… Hyah!” Then she released it—and voilà!
Mamako remained unchanged.
“Hmm? That’s odd… I thought if I just thought about Ma-kun, I could become anything… Now Mommy’s sad.”
“I’m actually super-relieved we’ve found a limit to how ridiculously OP you can be…,” said Masato.
“Oh my! You don’t seem to be your usual self, Mamako… I hate to see you like this. This is a time to send salt to your enemy.”
This expression did not mean literally giving spices as gifts. It meant to assist your enemy in a predicament rather than take advantage of their misfortune.
Chaliele pulled a small bottle filled with grass-green liquid out of her clothing.
“Here—perfectly ordinary green tea,” she said, grinning.
“I see. That means it definitely isn’t,” replied Masato.
“Eh-heh-heh. Sorry… This is a secret elf potion. If she drinks it, she’ll be transformed into an elf. It’s perfectly safe and can be found anywhere in the world. It’s made by the settlement’s tourism board.”
“…Tourism board…?”
“Elf settlements are suffering from population declines… The young elves all want to leave home. We’re always shorthanded. We’ve been forced to take these drastic measures to shore up the number of residents…”
“It’s a tough world, and I don’t want to hear about it. Let’s get back to fantasy, please?”
“Ah, y-yes. No need for such depressing thoughts. So, Mamako…would you like to be an elf?”
“Of course! I’d love to be one if that would make Ma-kun happy!”
Mamako immediately chugged the elf potion.
A flash of green light enveloped her, and her ears stretched out, her hair turned gold…
Mamako became an elf!
“Wow! You’re really an elf, Mom!”
“Oh my! My! …Ma-kun, how is it? Do you like Mommy now?”
“Well, uh…”
Blond hair. Definitely pointy on the ear front. The holy ears of the fantasy race Masato loved the most!
Elf Mamako was shoving her ears at him!
“Hmm… But basically, you’re still my real mom, so…it doesn’t really do it for me.”
“Oh no!” Shock!
Your mom is still your mom. Nothing could change that. Nothing at all.
With the morning’s commotion over, the group headed for the tournament hall.
Like the day before, the street was teeming with audience members. People of all races were lined up, excited for the day’s battles.
Many eyes turned toward Masato’s group, but…well, can you blame them?
After all, they were quite a spectacle. Mamako was the star of the tournament, and behind her was the elf, Chaliele, who had also advanced to the second round, and the beastkin, Growlette, who Mamako had defeated the day before—three very famous mothers.
Masato himself seemed to be getting a fair amount of attention.
There was a glittering halo floating above his head and white wings on his back. His right hand was imbued with the power of fire, his left hand with water, and his feet with earth and wind.
Every part of him was illuminated; the overall effect was so gaudy he wanted to cry.
“An angel’s halo and wings definitely suit the chosen hero of the sky.”
“We’ve given him the spirits’ power!” “This’ll be great!” “Definitely.” “Masato’s a hero!”
“I’m utterly flattered, really… But right now I really wish you wouldn’t.”
“This is an honor you deserve! The hero has a right to the angel’s power! …Perhaps I’ll take you back to my home in Heaven and make you my son! Ha-ha.”
“We agree.” “To accept Masato.” “As a child.” “Of the spirits.”
“That all sounds very heroic and has a nice ring to it, but still, I’d definitely prefer it if you stopped that.”
They’d run into the angel mother, Mamariel, and the spirit mother, Etheria, on the way, and they’d become quite taken with him, leading to this result. “Ma-kun?! Your mommy is right here!” Mamako was instantly forcing herself on him again, and it was awful. Exhausting.
Masato was ready to just give up on everything and make a run for it, but…
…given the battles his party members were about to face, that hardly seemed fair. Everyone had a long road in front of them.
“Hey, missy, what’s thaaat?” “Let’s go see!” “Let’s gooo!”
“I said Don’t wander off! Hey! Hold hands! Seriously!”
“Missy, can I get a huuuug?” “Hug!” “I’m gonna ride your head! Hup!”
“Wh-why do you like us so much?! Your mothers are right here! You can totally go to them instead!!”
“I’m gonna go to Mama!” “Me too!” “Let’s spirit fuse with that boy!” “Yeah!”
“Ahhh! Fighter child, angel child, spirit children! Don’t go! Masato will only get in more trouble!”
Wise, Medhi, and Porta all had their hands full watching the children.
Masato shot them a sympathetic glance.
This is our adventure…and we’re always playing on hard mode.
An adventure with one mom was hard enough. They knew that only too well.
But add other mothers into the mix and have them be big on free-range parenting, and the adventure’s difficulty rating shot skyward with no cap in sight.
It was enough to bring the waterworks, regardless of who was watching.
If this game has a god, please…we just want a normal adventure where we fight some monsters…
Masato offered a heartfelt prayer.
And as he did, they reached their destination.
Shiraaase was waiting for them at the back of the tournament hall, outside the entrance for staff and contestants.
“Oh, is everyone arriving together?”
“Yeah, and our suffering grows ever stronger. Please offer some assistance. We’re really at the ends of our ropes here.”
“I see. I was intending to tease you mercilessly, Masato, but I get the impression you might actually punch me if I did. Instead, why don’t you all come this way?”
Shiraaase looked mildly disappointed but did her duty.
“First, Mamako, Chaliele. You both have matches, so please head inside to the waiting rooms.”
“Right… Okay, Ma-kun! Mommy’s going inside!”
“Yeah, yeah. I know you’re my mom; stop trying to hammer that point home. And take care.”
“Masato, have you nothing to say to your elf mother?”
“Good luck, Chaliele! I’ll be rooting for you like I would anyone else I know.”
“Oh my! Rejected. Such a shame. Hee-hee.”
Subtly showing off her ears, Chaliele headed inside. Mamako tried to do the same. “It’s not a competition!” She was a handful, but he finally managed to see her off.
Next up were the mothers who’d lost in the first round.
“Growlette, Nympha, Katou, Mamariel, and Etheria. We’ve prepared special seats for all the main tournament participants and their children. Please head to the stands.”
“AND their kids?!”
“You’re taking them with you?!”
“I’m sure I heard that! Shiraaase said so!”
The girls pounced on those words, like they were their salvation. Tears of joy welled up…but…
“Preparing seats for us is a nice gesture,” Growlette said. “But my kids are still so little… I doubt they’d be able to sit still for it.”
“Er…b-but…then you can look after them!”
“That’s true, but…I really think I’d end up getting sucked into the fights. If only there was a place where I could let the kids do as they pleased…”
“I don’t think anywhere like that exists! No, it definitely doesn’t! No such thing!”
“Oh, wasn’t there a kid’s space around the stage?”
“Um—um! Ch-children should be with their mothers!”
The three girls fought valiantly against the gathering storm clouds. With all their might, not giving an inch!
Growlette cast them a sidelong glance…and grinned.
“Don’t worry. I’m not gonna force my kids on you. It’s simple! I’m just gonna watch from the kid’s space.”
“Yes, that way we can watch the tournament while letting our kids run free.”
“Oh, that’s an excellent idea! I’d love to do the same thing!”
Nympha and Katou jumped on Growlette’s idea. Mamariel and Etheria nodded their agreement.
If the mothers joined the kid’s space, the babysitters would be free of their burden.
Wise, Medhi, and Porta were so overwhelmed they actually gave Growlette a hug.
“Growlette, you’re the best! You’re an awesome mom! I’m gonna call you Mama Growlette now!”
“I’m so touched! So grateful! Would you let me call you Mother, too?”
“Growlette, you’re a great mama! I respect you!”
“What? You guys wanna be my kids? Heck, I don’t mind! I’ve already got five; what’s one or two or three more? Ah-ha-ha!”
The tough-cookie beastkin took this all in stride.
“So if the three of you are my kids now, you’ll join me in the kid’s corner!”
“““Huh?”””
All three faces froze, their expressions blank.
While they stood stunned, Growlette picked up the three of them like it was nothing and walked off. “Mom!” “I wanna hug!” “Me too!” Her actual children scurried after, and the other parents and children followed.
“If that’s where you guys are headed, then you’re definitely gonna end up watching the kids… Good luck, everyone.”
Masato clapped his hands together, bowing after them.
The second-round bracket read as follows:
Match 1: The Hero’s Mother Mamako vs Devil Mother Invi
Match 2: Android Mother Mechatte vs Elf Mother Chaliele
Match 3: Suspicious Mother Sorente vs Giant Mother Kaide
Match 4: Mysterious Mother Hahako vs Ninja Mother Kunoichiko
A tournament of sixteen would have four rounds in all. They were already in the quarterfinals.
Victory here would advance the mom to the semifinals. Victory there, to the final. And then the crown. The word win was on everyone’s lips, and it was hard not to feel the pressure.
The mothers gathered in the waiting room all seemed to be looking for ways to alleviate the stress.
Except Mamako.
“Chaliele, do you have a moment? I had a little time this morning, so I baked some cookies. Would you like one?”
“Y-you’re baking before a match? That’s…some impressive confidence. Hats off to you.”
She was acting exactly like she always did.
One mother was watching her intently—the one in the suspicious silver-masked robe, Sorente.
The two girls inside were whispering furiously.
“This time we have to get it riiiight. No more failures like yesterdaaay.”
“Yeah, it was our fault for totally forgetting she can nullify all status effects. This time, we’ll use a more direct physical attack to rob Mamako Oosuki of her freedom, allowing us to make our move. The perfect plan.”
“Yes, yeeees, stop taaaalking. Start waaalking.”
Sorente began moving. The moment Chaliele left to get a drink ready, they sidled over to Mamako.
“Mamakooooo, do you have a momeeeent?”
“Oh, you’re…Sorente, was it? You gave me that lovely tea yesterday.”
“You’re weeeelcome. It didn’t quite turn out like we expeeeected. Shaaame… Anywaaay…”
Sorente pulled a pendant out from under her robe.
The pendant had the kanji for mom written on it upside down. Very disrespectful.
“You see… Masato asked us to give you this preeesent.”
“Ma-kun?! For me?!”
“W-w-wow, you sure went for thaaat… You’re leaning so far forwaaard!”
“I mean, it’s a present from Ma-kun! But… Why would he ask you…?”
“He forgot to hand it oooover. Buuut he’s busy working in the broadcast booth. He doesn’t have time to bring it here himseeeelf. So he asked uuuus.”
“Geez, he really should have just done it in person… But I understand. He was just embarrassed! I’m sure that’s why. Hee-hee.”
“Right, riiiight. That interpretation wooorks. Sooo…take iiit!”
“Certainly. Thank you!”
Mamako took the pendant and hung it from her neck without the least bit of suspicion. “Oh… This symbol… I feel like I’ve seen it before…” “You’re imagining iiiiit. Byeeee!” Sorente hastily fled the scene.
Once they were in the hall outside the waiting room, their scheme was complete.
“Mwa-ha-haaaa. That went weeeell.”
“Looks like it. Mamako Oosuki suspected nothing! She has no idea there’s a ghost we captured sealed inside that pendant, and the moment it’s released, it will bind her to the spot! …And we’re not about to tell her, of course.”
“We just have to be careful to pick the right time to release iiiit! Mwa-ha-haaa!”
“Now that Mamako Oosuki is dealt with…we just have to figure out which of these other mothers is the unidentified unique personage…”
“Sadlyyyy…we don’t have time to investigaaate… I wonder who it iiiis…”
The two girls inside Sorente looked around the tense waiting room.
Standing behind them was the mysterious Hahako. She was staring directly at them, but they never noticed.
It was almost time for the first match. But trouble was already rearing its ugly head.
“Masato! You’ve abandoned your party again!” Grrr!
“Hey! You can’t just strangle people like— Gah!”
“You’re pathetic. It makes me want to punish you.” Twist, twist.
“W-wait, what? Not my butt— Ahhhhh!”
“Masato…” Sniff.
“Wh-whoa! Porta’s about to cry?! Don’t cry! It’s gonna be okay! W-we’re all here for you! Right, Shiraaase?”
“So you agree to handle the babysitting instead of these three girls?”
“No, absolutely not.” He was very firm on this point.
Growlette had hauled them away, but the girls had managed to escape. They’d come rushing to the broadcast booth.
Standby. Mike switch on.
“Okay, time to get the second day of this tournament started! I hope you’re all excited!”
“Today we’ll be seeing the second round of matches. Look forward to more passionate displays from our lineup of mothers.”
“Please cheer for all the mamas! I’ll cheer, too!”
“Sheesh, they’ve already stolen the mic…,” grumbled Masato. “What else are friends for?”
With the three girls on commentary, the tournament hall erupted.
But then a chorus of adorable cries came from the kid’s area. “Hi!” “Hiii!” “Just act like you don’t see them!” Ears twitching, tails wagging, wings flapping, the children gathered in front of the booth and were politely ignored.
The mothers who’d lost in the first round were clustered together, busy chattering away, leaving their children to whoever was in charge.
It was time.
Masato surreptitiously swiped the mic back from the girls and said, “Time for the first match! Here come our contestants! If Mamako Oosuki could please try to enter calmly without unnecessary excitement… A dignified entrance, please!”
That was important, so he emphasized it.
“Oh my! Ma-kun! You can just call me Mommy like you always do! No need to be embarrassed! Hee-hee!”
Just having him call her name had been enough to put Mamako at maximum excitement. “Ma-kun! Your mommy’s in a match!” “I just said not to do that exact thing!” She was jumping up and down onstage, making everything jiggle again.
Then came her opponent, the devil mother, Invi.
“My, my, what a display… I feel left out. I’ll have to seduce Masato and make him my boy! Hahhh…”
The way she licked her lips was unsettling. This mother was a salacious devil.
She had horns on her head and bat wings sprouting from her back. From her rear grew a tail like a dominatrix’s whip. Every bit as curvy as Mamako herself, said curves were crammed into a skintight outfit built for S & M.
Everything about her reeked of criminal behavior. She blew a kiss in Masato’s direction.
“Wh-what the—?!” Masato turned red despite himself, which he regretted.
Faced with this display of indecency, Mamako did the natural thing and started chain blowing kisses his way. Masato ignored this.
Both contestants were onstage.
“Uh… So let’s decide the contents of this match. Who’s on draw box duty?”
“I’ll do it!” squealed Porta, who was promptly vetoed by Wise and Medhi: “Masato’s turn.” “Masato, you’re up.”
“Thanks to the tyranny of the majority, I am now on duty, so gimme a second to get there.”
Masato jumped down from the booth, picked up the box, and went onstage.
The rights to draw for the match content went to whoever had ranked the highest in the prelims. Which meant…
“Now, Mamako Oosuki… Huh?”
When he got closer, he realized she was wearing a weird pendant. He’d never seen that before. It looked terrible on her…and the strange symbol on it bugged him…
However.
“Geez, Ma-kun! Don’t treat me like a stranger! I’m your mommy, so you can act all normal!”
“Augh, back off! I’m working here! Just…draw the thing!”
The audience members were all watching. Now was the time to be professional, to ignore any distractions.
She drew…
SHOPPING + α
Shopping, but no ordinary shopping.
According to the girls in the booth, starting with Wise:
“Shiraaase, what exactly is Shopping + α?”
“They will be given a set budget to purchase necessary supplies for the home. Naturally, they need to purchase modestly priced, high-quality items…but that’s not all.”
“So what else is required…?” asked Medhi.
“Do they need to earn a bonus?” wondered Porta.
“That’s correct. When paying for the items purchased, they must entice the clerk to throw in a little extra.”
Aha.
“This match will be held not in the tournament hall, but Meema’s shopping district, so someone will have to go with them and officiate.”
“I’ll do it!” “Masato will.” “Masato, you’re up.”
“I agree that Masato is right for the job. Please prepare yourself.”
That clinched it. “Argh… Just pushing all the work on me…” It was good to be relied upon, though. He chose to look at it that way.
“Oh, right! I need to thank you, Ma-kun.”
“Huh? For what?”
“Now, now, Masato. No time for chitchat. We’re here.”
With Mamako and Invi in tow, they reached the Meema shopping district.
It was exactly like any other row of shops. A narrow street with storefronts on both sides selling food and daily necessities. The staff behind the counters wore friendly smiles; it had that comfortable neighborhood vibe of a place that had been exactly like this for years now.
“Here we are… Ahem, broadcast booth, do you copy?” Masato asked.
“Loud and clear!”
“A big screen just appeared onstage, so we can see everything that’s happening!”
“Oh yeah? I didn’t know they could do that. Wonder if it’s some special spell…”
“No, just typical live streaming, like any video website. This is a game world, so we can do that sort of thing easily.”
“Even if that’s true, at least pretend it’s magic! Respect the mood!”
“We can also type comments.”
He looked up in time to see letters scroll by: Masato just checked out Mamako’s boobs.
“Was that you, Medhi?! I did no such thing! They just happened to cross my field of vision!” In fact, he’d been looking at Mamako’s pendant, but he’d definitely better be careful about that in the future.
Right. Time to get started.
“This is all incredibly awkward, but… Are you both ready to go?”
“Yes! Mommy’s ready! With you by my side, I can do anything!”
“I’m ready as well. I’m excellent at shopping. My victory is assured. Hahhh.”
Both were carrying baskets—very eco-friendly.
“Right, then. Positions, please. Ready… M-mom it!”
That incredibly embarrassing cry started the match.
The first to move was the devil mother, Invi. “Let’s go, Masato!” “Yikes?!” She spread her wings, hoisted Masato into the air, and flew to her destination: the grocery store. A middle-aged man stood behind the counter.
“Welcome, welc— Yikes?! Y-y-you’re…”
“Helloooo, Mr. Grocer. Thanks for yesterday.”
When Invi landed in front of him, the man hastily grabbed a daikon. He was armed with a vegetable. Ready for battle.
“He sure seems…defensive.”
“My round-one battle was also shopping. We came here yesterday, too…and he gave me such a lovely deal. Hahhh.”
“I may have let myself get bewitched once, but not today!”
The grocer seemed ready to even the score.
Far from giving her a little bonus, he seemed ready to run her out. But Invi simply did her shopping like she belonged there, looking over the rows of fruits and vegetables…
And then her hand stopped on a bitter melon.
“Oh, that’s a good one… So thick and hard and…ribbed. Ohhhh, it’s magnificent. It’s driving me wild. Smooch.”
After caressing the surface of the fruit, she pressed it to her lips with a rapturous smile. Crap… I shouldn’t be watching this…, Masato thought, but he was unable to tear his eyes away.
Already hunched over, the grocer barked, “Th-that’s your dinner tonight? Then pay up! One hundred and fifty mum!”
“Yes, yes, here you go… Oh!” Invi tripped on nothing and bumped into the grocer’s arm.
Her deviant devil-mother chest pressed up against him, yielding.
“Auuuughhhh! Th-this sensatiiiiiion!!”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m feeling a little faint.”
“F-faint? Th-then you’d better get some nutrition! Here! Take this! And these, too!”
He threw the daikon into Invi’s basket, along with some eggplants and cucumbers that were close at hand.
“Oh my! That’s so much! You’ve helped me out again! Thaaank you.” Smooch.
“Aiiiiieeee?! Hngg…”
The kiss to his ear knocked him right out.
Invi had purchased a bitter melon for 150 mum and received a daikon, an eggplant, and a cucumber for free, a bonus worth a total of five hundred mum.
Moments later, the grocer prostrated himself as his wife scolded him. “You can’t give away our merchandise!” “I know! Sorry!” But that was neither here nor there.
As Masato stared in horror, Invi came sashaying over to him.
“This is a devil mother’s skill, Seductive Shopping. What do you think?”
“I…see. It’s definitely a bit problematic, but… Well done. I guess that puts you in the lead…”
“Oh, that’s not what I mean. I mean, don’t you want a mom like me?”
Invi wrapped herself around Masato’s arm, squeezing. “Eeaughh?!” When this wasn’t his own mom but another mom, the sensation was…!
And then his actual mother came bursting in.
“Ah! Ma-kun! There you are!”
“Eep?! No! This wasn’t my idea!”
Masato immediately freed himself from Invi’s clutches, prostrating himself. “Ah! What am I doing?” The grocer had done the same to his wife—apparently, the habit was catching.
“Um, Mom… I mean, Mamako Oosuki… Argh, screw professionalism. I’m just gonna keep calling you Mom.”
“Okay! I am your mommy, after all!”
“Invi’s already done her shopping and earned a bonus. What’s your plan?”
“Naturally, I’m going to try my best! Just you watch!”
Mamako put her basket on her arm and headed into the grocer’s.
Back at the tournament hall…
“Geez, what is Masato doing…? Oh, Porta, want some cookies?”
“Yes! I’d love some! Thank you so much!”
“Here, Ms. Shiraaase, have some, too,” offered Medhi. “Mamako made them.”
“She did? Handmade by Mamako! Don’t mind if I do.”
The broadcast booth was enjoying tea and cookies.
Meanwhile, on-screen, Mamako was hustling toward the grocer.
Watching from the shadows of the entrance tunnel, Sorente made their move.
“Now! Activate the creature sealed in the pendant!”
“You don’t need to tell meeeee! Goooo!”
Under that robe, the person on top was capable of controlling millions of undead monsters at once. She activated her power, and…
…as Mamako stood before the grocer, a change swept over her.
“Oh? …Oh my!”
A number of tentacles suddenly stretched out from the pendant, wrapping themselves around Mamako’s body.
The tentacles swiftly peeled off her apron, then her armor, then her dress, even her bra and panties…
They folded all this equipment and handed it to Masato. Here you go!
“Uh, thanks… No, wait, what the hell?!”
They had placed her underwear on top of the pile, so Masato hastily hid those inside her dress. More importantly…
The tentacles were busy consuming Mamako. They had her chest and nether regions—basically the most important bits—safely covered, but their encroachment was spreading across her supple skin.
And looking closer, a pair of horns was growing from her head—and wings from her back.
At this rate, it looked like Mamako was ready to turn into something else entirely…
Watching this, Invi whispered, “This is…a type of ghost that robs someone of her freedom and transforms them into a devil. A type of creature made by devils, released here and there around the world. Incidentally, these are made by the official tourism board.”
“More tourism promotion?! There’s a limit to how aggressive advertising should be!”
“The declining birth rate affects devils, too… We need to increase our numbers somehow.”
“That does sound like a challenge, but can you find a way to do it that doesn’t actively harm other races?!”
At any rate, it seemed they had to take the devil’s word for it.
“So…my mom’s turning into a devil? …M-Mom?!”
“My, my! This pendant is a frisky one! There, there. Good tentacle. Now, behave!” Pat, pat.
“Why are you petting the tentacles?!”
Actually, it seemed to be working quite well.
Mamako was stroking the pendant like she had a sobbing child’s head buried in her chest.
The tentacles soon stopped their advance. Like they’d fallen asleep, they stopped moving, and Mamako’s transformation halted as well.
Her body was covered, but not with clothes. The ratio of bare skin to tentacle covering was about ninety-eight to two, like body paint you didn’t dare look directly at.
The horns and wings were soft and flimsy, like a cicada that had just molted.
Despite this, her expression hadn’t changed at all; Devil Mamako had that same warm smile.
“Mom… Look at you…”
“This is… Oh, I get it! You wanted to make sure I’d win, so you made sure I’d be dressed as boldly as Invi!”
“Er… What?”
“I’m a little embarrassed, but this is a present from you, Ma-kun, right? Mommy will do her best to wear it well! Okay, off I go!”
“What?! What present?! I didn’t give you any presents! Wait, come back and explain… Or just wait! You can’t go shopping dressed like… Augh!”
It was too late to stop her. Devil Mamako had charged in.
The grocer saw a new devil approaching and instantly went tense. “Leave this one to me!” “R-right, good idea!” The grocer’s wife tapped in.
“You’re facing me this time! Do your worst!”
“Oh, one hundred mum for a head of cabbage? That’s such a bargain! I’ll have to get one.”
“Right! One cabbage!”
The cabbage was tossed into her basket. “Here’s your payment!” “Thanks for coming!” One hundred mum handed over.
“Then I’ll be on my way!” Smile.
“Sure thing! Come again!” Smile.
Devil Mamako and the grocer’s wife traded smiles. Mamako turned to leave… “Waaaait a second!” The grocer’s wife stopped her. “Hang on! You aren’t even gonna ask for any kind of bonus?! And all you’re buying is cabbage?! That doesn’t make any sense!”
“Oh, what’s wrong with it?”
“Everything! You know full well the whole point of this contest is to get as many extras as you can… And!”
The wife’s gaze turned to Masato.
“The boy there’s your son, right? I heard him call you Mom!”
“Yes, that’s right! He’s my son. His name’s Ma-kun!”
“Don’t introduce me dressed like that! …But, uh, y-yeah, hi. I’m her son.”
“I thought so… He’s a growing boy! You can’t leave here with just a head of cabbage! You need something more nutritious! Here!”
The grocer’s wife grabbed some carrots and potatoes and tomatoes and put them in Devil Mamako’s basket.
“Goodness, so many! It’s getting rather heavy.”
“Oh, then I’ll carry it for you. Gimme that basket.”
“Why, thank you! Here.”
Masato took the basket from Mamako, feeling like this was probably the right thing to do. It was packed full and definitely heavy.
At a glance, the extra veggies were more than twice what Invi had earned.
“Now, how much do I owe—?”
“Don’t be ridiculous!” said the grocer’s wife. “Those veggies all hopped in your basket of their own free will. Since they volunteered for it, it’s only fair I foot the bill.”
“Oh? But…”
“Really, it’s fine! …Ma’am, this is a neighborhood store. Our business doesn’t run on profit; it runs on community spirit. We do this for the greater good! Parents come shopping, their kids quietly take the baskets for them… Seeing something as lovely as that, anyone would do the same! Right, everyone?”
She addressed Masato’s group as they began to leave. When they turned to look…
…they found a man in boots and a waterproof apron, a woman who smelled like croquettes, and an old man carrying individually wrapped side dishes.
“Such a lovely family! You’ve gotta try our fish!” Toss.
“So good of you to help your mother like this! Here, the butcher’s special croquettes!” Toss.
“Gotta raise a good boy like this right! Take these!” Toss.
“Er, um…”
So much food it couldn’t possibly fit in the basket, all tossed on top of the pile.
Finally…
“Your mom might dress like a deviant, but you keep treating her right.”
The grocer’s wife slapped Masato on the back and went back inside. “Geez, you just gave her a lot.” “You got a problem with that?” “Nope. That’s what I love about you.” The grocer couple seemed to have made up. May they live happily ever after.
As for the results!
Mamako had purchased a cabbage for one hundred mum.
And been given potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, lettuce, fish that looked like mackerel, croquettes, and some side dishes that clearly were worth over two thousand mum in all.
Meanwhile, the devil mother had only managed around five hundred mum in extras. This was clearly Mamako’s victory…except for one thing.
Masato frowned in thought, then made a call.
“Hello, Shiraaase? Do you read me?”
“Loud and clear, and I’m aware of the situation.”
“Then I’ll make it quick. Is there any rule against obtaining the bonus because the mother had her child with her?”
“Absolutely not. Having children with them is the essence of a mother.”
“Still… I’m supposed to be here to do live-on-the-scene commentary, not to shop. I’d be surprised if Invi accepted this…”
“But I do, Masato,” Invi said.
The naughty mother who lived to entice and pilfer looked almost happy, like the storm had passed.
“This battle’s victor is Mamako—no, this victory belongs to both of you.”
“…You’re sure?”
“I am. I get along with my son, but…he would never go shopping with me. ‘It’s embarrassing being with you,’ he says.”
“Well, yeah, if you acted like that, he’d be mortified.”
“And yet, when Mamako took devil form, you accepted it and even identified yourself as her son… How did you ever manage to raise a boy this considerate? I find myself completely defeated.”
“It’s not like I wanted to!! Even I was kinda impressed with my fortitude!” Masato yelped, wiping the tears the memories brought forth.
But the match was decided.
The Shopping + α battle may have skirted the line of broadcast standards, but with her victory, this match was— “Now’s our chance to atta— Wait, she’s not tied up?!” “Mm?” “Plan faaaailed! Retreat at oooonce!” He felt like he noticed something silver come dashing in and out in the blink of an eye. But whatever, the match was settled.
Back in the hall, the next match started without even a moment for him to rest.
Mamako had reverted to her usual appearance, and she and Invi headed for the kid’s area. They were greeting other mothers, letting the kids run wild, chattering happily away.
Masato stepped into the broadcast booth to find an empty cookie tray.
“…No one saved any for me?”
“It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for! Time for the next match! All contestants, assemble!”
“Hey! Where are my cookies?! I’ve been through the wringer, and my body is craving sugar!”
With all those extra calories, Wise’s live commentary was very energetic. The second match began!
Two mothers appeared from the entrance tunnel.
First, the elf mother, Chaliele—looking every bit as serene as one would expect an elf to be.
Then the android mother, Mechatte—her glamourous metallic body gleaming, several flying drones in tow.
A mother from a race known as the Sages of the Forest and a mother who was all machine. Two mothers from opposing worlds, clashing.
“The second match of round two brings together two very different mothers. This should be an interesting battle!”
“A battle between nature and science! I’m so excited!”
“Masato, the draw box.”
“I really am just the odd jobs guy, huh? …Fine, I’ll do it.”
Leaving the mics to the girls, he hustled down to the stage with the box.
During the prelims, the elf mother had placed second, and the android mother, fourth. So it was Chaliele’s right to draw. “Chaliele, if you would.” “I wonder what it’ll be…” She pulled a slip of paper out of the box.
CLEANING (LEVEL 99)
A cleaning battle at the highest difficulty level. What that meant, Masato had no clue.
“Uh, broadcast booth, explain!”
“Righto… Shiraaase! What kinda battle is this?” asked Wise.
“Essentially, they’ll be cleaning the air itself. Even when air looks clean, it may have cold viruses, pollen, and other matter suspended in it. Children are especially ill-equipped to deal with these things, and any household with small children should take precautions.”
“I see. That sounds like a battle that will test a mother’s capacity.”
“It sounds so hard! Good luck, everyone!”
“At this point, we will be releasing the air they’ll be cleaning. It will be confined to the space above the stage.”
Faintly cloudy air began to hiss through the gaps in the stage’s wood floors. With pollution included, the area over the stage soon reeked of household smells.
But they had arranged it so this air would not reach the kid’s area around the stage—don’t worry.
“Then it’s time to begin!” “Ready?” “Mom it!”
The girls’ shouts got the match underway.
Both moms were frowning, clearly displeased. Chaliele was covering her face with a grass-green handkerchief. Mechatte had automatically equipped a metallic antidote mask.
“This…is certainly not an environment we can allow children to breathe in.”
“We must deal with it immediately.”
“First come, first served. If you don’t mind…”
Chaliele pulled an acorn-like seed out of her pocket and tossed it on the ground nearby.
Then she chanted, “Seed of Mother Forest… If you, too, are a mother, you’ll understand. We all want our children to grow up breathing clean, fresh air… If you understand these feelings, lend me your power.”
Her plea, filled with love, hit home.
The seed cracked open, extending roots and a bud…and growing in the blink of an eye into a giant tree that was over thirty feet tall.
This was all so sudden, it stunned the crowd and the girls in the booth. Well, not Shiraaase.
“Th-that’s…massive…,” stammered Wise.
“Trees from the elf forest have a powerful purification effect,” explained Shiraaase. “It seems she’s using that to cleanse the air. A very elven way of doing things.”
The tree’s leaves were inhaling the unclean air and releasing healthy air instead. The air around the tree was getting visibly cleaner.
Chaliele took a deep breath and smiled.
“This is the elf mother air-cleansing skill of elf village legend, Mother Forest’s Breath… Mechatte, what do you think?”
“You’ve added the smell of the forest, and I’m detecting negative ions. This air is definitely quite healthy—refreshing, even. Perfect for raising children.”
“Of course, of course. Hee-hee. Then I’ve won?”
“I’ll admit you’ve put me in a tough spot.”
The android mother looked up at the mystic tree, her expression grim. Had she lost?
But then:
Looking up at the tree from the kid’s space, Masato wondered aloud, “Uh… But a tree this big would never fit inside a house, right?”
““““Oh.””””
Chaliele, Mechatte, the audience, everyone in the kid’s area, and even Shiraaase all turned and gaped at Masato. “Uh… Did I say something weird…?” Nope, not at all.
The effect of this tree was certainly something everyone desired…
…but growing a tree indoors was not a viable solution for the average home.
Which meant…
“U-um… Oh, Masato! You shouldn’t have said anything!” Chaliele wailed.
“I appreciate your assistance, Masato. This gives me a chance to counterattack.”
Mechatte stepped forward.
“Mode: Air Cleanliness!”
Her drones docked onto her back, transforming into a very high-tech-looking fan. The fan began turning, drawing in the dirty air around her.
Watching from the sidelines, Masato got so worked up, he grabbed the edge of the stage.
“Whoa! This is turning into a real sci-fi battle! I bet this next part’s gonna be really cool! Are you gonna use lasers?!”
He was sure of it. Lasers. Like, really big ones. Huge.
The armor under Mechatte’s armpits opened with a clang! “An opening! And next comes…” It kind of looked like a nozzle! These nozzles…
…produced a gentle breeze.
“Just ventilation?!”
“I am equipped with an air purifier, a humidifier, and a dehumidifier, as well as an air coolant system. This is the power of a mechanical mother: the Mama Conditioner System! This skill is called the M.C.—the MamaCon!”
The filters inside her body were very high quality, catching all the unwanted particles in the air. And it was an automatic process, so no hands were required. She could produce clean air at any time.
And since the mother herself was conditioning the air, it didn’t take up any space in the room.
On a hot day, you could just run over to Mom and enjoy the cool air. On a cold day, you could run to Mommy and enjoy the heat.
Faced with this functionality, Chaliele calmly admitted defeat. “Oh my. I suppose I’ve lost.” The match was over.
“Mechatte wins the second match!” Shiraaase declared.
The crowd roared. “They were both amazing!” “I’m so impressed!” The mothers in the kid’s area applauded, too.
But not Masato:
“She made it seem like she was going to use some spectacular super-move, and it was just an AC… What a waste of a mecha…”
“According to our data, Mechatte was originally designed as combat weaponry, but after the war, she was converted from an assault-type unit to a life-support unit. Raising children for adults preoccupied with the rebuilding effort, ensuring all could live in happiness.”
“Yeah, I know peace is the answer! But…still!”
Some people would just never understand how a boy’s mind worked. He stamped his foot in frustration.
But before he could cool off or vent his frustration, the third match began.
“Okay, Ma-kun! Next match!” Grin.
“Oh yeah… Why are you right here? Since when…?”
“Everyone else is enjoying the match with their children, so Mommy just wanted to be with you, too… And here come the contestants! Everyone, please give them a round of applause!”
“And now you’re an announcer, too?!”
The next round’s contestants were emerging from the tunnel.
First up was the giant mother, Kaide.
“Hokay! Here we go!”
Towering fifteen feet high, she came skipping into the room. Boobs so big even an adult couldn’t wrap their arms around them swaying. The earth shaking.
She was followed by the suspicious mother, Sorente.
“Yes, yeeeees. Helloooo. I’m not suspicious at aaaaall.”
Covered in a silver-masked robe, this contestant stood at over six feet tall.
Taller than all the other mothers but still extremely small when standing next to Kaide.
Maybe they could get accidentally stepped on and squished to death.
Part of Masato genuinely meant that. They were his enemies, after all.
He reached into his pocket and took out the pendant he’d swiped from Mamako.
There was a logo on it that looked like the kanji for mom upside down.
I finally remembered… This is the mark of the Libere Rebellion.
The same mark appeared on the coats Amante and Sorella wore. No wonder it looked familiar. This pendant was an enemy item.
They’d tricked Mamako into believing it was a present from Masato, convinced her to wear it, and turned her into a devil…and as a result, Masato had been forced to endure the humiliation of going shopping with his mother dressed like that… Just remembering made him angry.
“Now, now, Ma-kun. No time to get lost in thought! They need to draw the match contents!”
“Huh? …Oh yeah, right…”
“The one job we’ve left you, Masato. Knock ’em dead!”
“The three of us and Mamako will handle the commentary.”
“Masato! Good luck with the draws!”
“And I’m sure you’re aware that Sorente is…”
“Being kept under surveillance. Right. Even though they’ve caused plenty of trouble already… Whatever.”
Masato forced himself to choke it down. He was pushed out of the broadcast booth, and then be carried the draw box up onto the stage.
In the prelims, Kaide had ranked thirteenth, and Sorente, ninth. Which meant…
“Sorente, here.”
“Yes, yeeees. Gotta draaaaw.”
Masato scowled furiously at them as he angrily held out the box, but Sorente withdrew a slip of paper, seemingly oblivious to this.
LAUNDRY DX
What could make laundry deluxe? Masato had no clue. This was straight-up enigmatic.
He also didn’t care.
“Then I’ll just go back. I’m sure Shiraaase will explain the details. My job here is done.”
He put the box under his arm and headed listlessly away, but—
“Masatoooo. Waaaait.”
—Sorente grabbed him by his jacket collar.
“Uh… Would you mind letting go?”
“Laundry Deluuuuxe means we have to do amaaaaazing laundry, riiiight? Make it sooooo! …Hyaaaah!”
“Aughhh?!”
They’d yanked the jacket right off him.
And then Sorente reached for his shirt.
“Wh-what the hell?! Stop that! …W-wait… I’m feeling very weak… I can’t resist… No!”
“Mwa-ha-haaaa! Just hold stiiiill!”
Sorella must be using her debuff skill. Masato was helpless! “I’ll be taking thaaat!” “Aiiieee!” His shirt was gone! He was naked from the waist up! Mortifying!
Masato had been running around all day, so his top had a lot of sweat soaked into it. Not quite to the level of being dirty, but…
“This shirt needs waaaaashing! Ooooone…twooooo…threeee!” Sorente grunted and shook the shirt a few times.
“Neeeext step…”
“First, you debuff the dirt’s sticking power and shake it out,” the other person in the robe started muttering. “Then I’ll use my reflection skill to—”
“Don’t explain iiiiit! Just shut up and woooork!”
“Okay, I’m done.” “Gooood! All doooone.”
They appeared to be done already.
Sorente held it up proudly.
“Laundry compleeeete! Go ahead, check iiiit!”
“Check what?”
“Ohhh… Riiiight… You would struggle with thaaat. But a mother with any degree of skill would get iiiiit… Can we get one to cheeeck?”
“Huh? Wha—? Me?” Masato’s shirt was placed in Kaide’s massive hand.
The giant mother stared down at it and then went pale.
“This—! …L-lemme just test it!”
She started rubbing the shirt against the stage. “Hey!” Doing that would make Masato’s shirt dirty…but it didn’t.
The dirt that got on the shirt was forcibly ejected, and it stayed clean.
“Bu—? How…?”
“This shirt will cast off any dirt! It can never get dirty again! Because it can’t get dirty, you never need to wash it, and the fabric never gets damaged! This is truly flawless laundry!”
“Exaaaactly. Mwa-ha-haaa… Sooooo, giant moooother… What sort of laundry skills do you have that can match thiiiis?”
“I—I… The only skill I’ve got just allows me do thirty loads of regular laundry at once… There’s no way I could ever win, no matter how hard I try! WAHHHHHH!”
“Then you loooose, and I wiiiiin. Thanks for plaaaaying!”
Sorente snatched the shirt from Kaide’s hand and left the stage.
Nothing had been made official, but the outcome was clear.
Their laundry skill was so powerful, the audience forgot to cheer. The mothers watching were as stunned as the crowd.
The only sound left was Kaide’s sobs. “Mom!” “Don’t cry!” The giant’s child and Mamako ran over to comfort her, but the waterfall of tears kept flowing.
But no amount of crying would change the results.
Sorente’s overwhelming victory had lowered the curtain on the third match…
Wait.
“…Ah! Why am I just standing here?! Give me back my shirt!”
Masato went running off, chasing Sorente.
Masato burst through the tunnel into the waiting room, but there was no sign of Sorente.
Instead, he found the mysterious mother, Hahako. She had his shirt in her hands, so clean it was like a brand-new shirt. She was staring gloomily at it.
“Er… Um, excuse me? Is that shirt…mine, perhaps?” he asked timidly.
Hahako just nodded mysteriously and pointed at the garbage can in the corner.
“So they just threw my shirt away?! Argh, so mad!”
What should he do to them? Catch up with them and beat them to…? No, he’d be the one to get beaten. His anger gave way to a shudder.
Meanwhile, Hahako unfolded the shirt and came closer. She took Masato’s arm and slipped it through the sleeve, helping him put it on.
“Wait, uh… I can do this myself…”
Hahako shook her head mysteriously and kept going. She did all the buttons up for him, too. “Hey!” She even tucked the hem of the shirt into his pants and then straightened the collar.
“Uh… Th-thanks. Thank you.”
This was so awkward, but he felt he at least owed her his thanks.
Hahako bowed her head. She seemed satisfied. Her body wiggled from side to side like she was enjoying this.
“………!”
Then Hahako seemed to get an idea. She ran over to the bench on the far wall and sat down.
Then she patted her lap. Repeatedly. Was that an invitation?
“Um… You mean…a lap pillow?”
She nodded.
Enthusiastically.
She wanted Masato to use her lap as a pillow. “Uh… Thanks for the offer, but…” He tried to refuse politely, and Hahako looked dejected. She even started crying. She really seemed invested in this lap pillow thing.
What now?
Accepting a lap pillow from a total stranger definitely didn’t seem like a reasonable option, but…
Who is Hahako anyway?
Shiraaase had not infooormed them of the particulars.
This might be a chance to learn more about her. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. In which case…
“Th-then I guess…just for a minute?”
“……!” Nod, nod.
Curiosity and the spirit of inquiry overcame his sense of shame. Masato decided to lie down on the bench, softly putting his head on Hahako’s lap. And felt…
Ohhh… Definitely a lap pillow…
A little too high. Yet soft, warm, and such a pleasant smell…
And relaxing. More than anything, it felt satisfying. Like bliss seeping directly through his skin into his brain. When she gently rubbed his head, the bliss value doubled.
He closed his eyes and felt the urge to fall asleep, just like…
Exactly like Mamako’s mom skill, A Mother’s Lap.
“…Huh?!”
Masato jumped to his feet, staring down at the mysterious mother’s lap.
This was the lap of a total stranger. Not Mamako’s.
But the effect Masato felt was definitely…
Then…Shiraaase’s voice crackled over the loudspeaker.
“The fourth match is about to begin. Masato Oosuki, please return to your position. Your mother seems ready to unleash her skill to find you. Return at once.”
A Mother’s Fangs?
“Yikes, I gotta get back! Uh, so… You heard the lady; I gotta run. Thanks, though! Good luck in your match!”
He turned his back on Hahako and ran off at full speed, as if fleeing the motherly aura that had so perplexed him.
The fourth match was in progress.
Two human competitors had fought their way to this battle and now faced each other.
First was the ninja mother, Kunoichiko, making full use of ninja arts in an outfit that…seemed actually like it would attract quite a bit of attention, really.
“I shall not lose! The whole ‘mothers are ninjas’ thing may have been improvised, but the kids believed it, so I’ve got to win for them!”
Meanwhile, her opponent was Hahako, her true nature and identity still shrouded in mystery.
“………”
The category this time was: CLEANING (DANGER LEVEL: MAX). The same as Mamako’s first-round battle.
Once again, Masato’s real-world room was re-created onstage. They were competing to clean the room while recovering only the hidden items meant for a mother’s eyes. If they discovered anything best left unseen, they were out.
The match was already at its climax. The girls in the booth were getting quite worked up.
“I said The bookshelves! He’s got ’em camouflaged! I swear!”
“Go for any titles that sound excessively academic! They’re definitely suspicious!”
“Hrmm… I feel like they’re specifically trying to make us find something dangerously sexy…but maybe that’s a double blind! …Buddha, guide my hand!”
Kunoichiko made up her mind and grabbed the encyclopedia. When she opened it…
…she found a calendar filled with drawings of beautiful girls in their underwear. “Whoa?!” “Hell yeah!” “Well done!” As the ninja mother stared in horror, the girls erupted in shouts of victory.
Despite his privacy being violated in the public eye…
…the room’s owner remained utterly calm.
Something very weird’s going on here.
He was sitting at the edge of the booth, watching closely.
Studying Hahako’s every move.
“……”
She’d finished cleaning and, just like Mamako had in the first round, was using a special mother skill for searching children’s rooms, A Mother’s Search. Checking every corner of the room…
And then she found something. She suddenly darted forward, picked up the garbage can, and under it…
…was a test from school! The form had a field for parents to sign. This was something he was definitely supposed to show his mother. She was right to find it.
She won.
“And done! The fourth match goes to the mysterious mother, Hahako!” Shiraaase announced.
The cheers were so loud they seemed ready to split the hall in two.
But despite the commotion around him, Masato alone was lost in thought.
She looks just like Mom, has all her skills… How…?
Hahako had turned to gaze up at him. Mamako was staring at him from the kid’s space. Masato’s eyes went from one to the other, deep in thought…
Masato continued thinking, long after the tournament ended and upon returning to the inn, well into the evening.
Out in the hall, he could hear voices: “Oh, missy!” “Found ya!” followed by “You were looking for us?!” “Aren’t there more of them now?!” “There aaare!” A desperate game of tag was unfolding, but even that sound didn’t shake him from his reverie.
Elbows on the dining room table, he racked his brain.
“She didn’t react to my skill, but she has mom skills…and she looks just like Mom… What could that mean? Ugh, I just don’t know!”
“Well, at a time like that, it’s best to eat something! Fuel for the brain!”
“Yeah, maybe… Then I guess I will.”
A very red bowl of mapo doufu was placed in front of him, and he took a heaping spoonful, chowing down. “Mm, so good… Hmm? …H-H-HOTTTTTTTTTT!” It was so spicy flames literally shot out of Masato’s mouth.
“Oh! A lovely burst of flames! You’ve got a talent for breath attacks, Masato! You oughta become my kid and aim to be the dragon hero!”
“Huh? Dragon hero?! That sounds awesome! …But wait, Sammo Hung, since when are you staying at this inn—? Arghhh, the spice is killing meeeeeee! Gaaaaaahhh!”
The dragonewt mother’s extra-hot Szechuan cooking had turned his mouth into a furnace. It was definitely leaving permanent burns.
Then…
“Oh my, my. Your mouth is all charred, Masato! You know what this calls for? Some fun time toothbrushing with this vampire mommy! Say ahhh!”
“Huh? Hngggg?!”
Kangoshii, the vampire dressed like a nurse, had appeared quietly behind Masato. She got Masato’s mouth open and stuck a toothbrush inside, brushing his teeth for him.
“B-bu—? Dis ’eels goo’!”
“I’m sure it does. It’s a lovely feeling. If you were my son, you could do this every day, morning, noon, and night. Mommy would love to brush your teeth for you any time. What do you say?”
The mouth was a highly sensitive sensory organ, and having a mother massage the inside struck him as morally wrong somehow. He had to stop this. “Enough!” “Oh, he ran away.” Masato made an emergency exit.
He fled the dining room, into the living room. But there were more mothers waiting there.
Specifically, Mamako. Sitting on the couch, folding Masato’s laundry. Perfect.
“Oh, Ma-kun! So much shouting. What happened?”
“You were too busy with my laundry to realize what was happening…probably for the best. It was nothing; don’t worry about it.”
Masato sat down next to Mamako. Then…
He took a good long look at Mamako’s thighs. Not in a weird way. An investigatory gaze.
“Oh my! Ma-kun, do you want a lap pillow? Go right ahead!”
“N-no, I don’t, but… Uh, if you’re offering, I suppose I could. Just to check something!”
Masato let himself topple over in her direction, resting his head on Mamako’s thighs.
“Check something? Like what?”
“Never mind that.”
“Awww… Oh, but that reminds me!”
Mamako suddenly began inspecting Masato’s shirt carefully.
He was still wearing the shirt Sorente had washed so flawlessly. Mamako had clearly picked up on something…but Masato didn’t care. More importantly…
He closed his eyes, letting the sensations of his real mother’s lap pillow embrace him.
Mm. Definitely mom’s lap pillow.
Soft, warm, relaxing, satisfying, that same inexplicable bliss.
Definitely her. He’d never mistake this feeling. This was A Mother’s Lap.
But at the same time, it reminded him of the mysterious mother, Hahako.
It isn’t just similar. It’s the exact same lap pillow. What does that mean?
He looked up and saw Mamako’s face.
But for a moment, it looked like Hahako’s.
Questions he had no answers for spun around inside his mind.
The exhaustion of the day and the effect of the lap pillow soon lured Masato to sleep.
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