Too Many Losing Heroines! - Volume 2 - Chapter 3.1

Chapter 3 – Let Him Who Is Not Rejected Cast the First Stone at the Losing Heroines
The sun is already high up before noon.

I opened a can of coffee as I looked at the advertisement board saying, “Roadside Station Mokkulu Shinshiro”.

It takes around a 50-minute drive north from Toyohashi to get here. We’re at Shinshiro Station.

“Why am I even here…?”

It’s hard for me not to complain. A minivan stopped in front of my house with a sign saying “beginner driver”. I gave up everything when Tsukinoki-senpai poked her head out of the driver’s window.

Yanami and Komari are already in the car. Even though I had given up already, I still didn’t expect to be brought outside the city with nothing in my hands.

Shinshiro is the entrance to the mountains of the Mikawa region, which is also called Okumikawa. This is also where the Battle of Nagashino took place.

Well, that’s all I know. Anyway, I’m in the mountains right now.

From what I’ve heard from Tsukinoki-senpai, Yakishio lives with her grandma in Shinshiro. There’s still a long way, so we’re taking a break at the station.

Senpai doesn’t seem to be going in any time soon. So, I’m sipping the micro sugar coffee in front of the advertisement board.

“…Right, senpai sent me the novel.”

It’ll be annoying later if I don’t read it. So, I opened the attachment of the mail.

*

Literature Club Report – Summer Edition

<The Scribes of the Slumbering Forest> by Koto Tsukinoki

[TL: BL warning.]

The warm sunlight is shining on the path within the forest. A man in kimono is walking exhaustedly.

The man mumbled. His tone is displeased.

“Hey, brat, how much longer will we walk?”

Upon closer inspection, a tiny person is dancing in front of the man in mid-air. He’s as little as a light-vented bulbul. There are dragonfly wings on his back.

The tiny person didn’t say anything. He raised his hand and drew a big arc. The man looked in his direction. An exquisite small mansion appeared before the path.

“The place you live in is certainly refreshing.”

The man heaped fake praises as he threw a coin to the tiny leading person. The tiny person with wings and the coin disappeared in a flash.

Kawabata came to this world as well.

Even though he has heard it from Mishima, Dazai doesn’t seem interested. However, he changed his mind after knowing that he had been appointed as the commander in chief of the reincarnated.

It takes around two days in a carriage and walking to get there.

This is a refreshing double-story mansion filled with vines. Kawabata spends most of his time here. However, this house seems too lacking for a commander in chief of the reincarnated.

Dazai waited for a long time, but no maids came out. So, he pressed the doorbell. 

Unexpectedly, the person in question answered instead. Dazai fell speechless. He was about to tell the maids to get him instead.

As for Kawabata, he gasped and bulged his eyes toward Dazai.

“Come in. I’ll pour you some tea.”

He said that calmly and turned around.

The inside doesn’t feel like the original world at all.

The room is unusually small. It’s at most 8 tatamis. There’s not even a sofa. Dazai was brought to a chair next to the table.

Kawabata’s clothes are from this world as well. It reminds Dazai of Christian priests. He’s preparing the tea set in the kitchen. His back is facing Dazai.

“There aren’t any maids here today?”

“I don’t think it’s necessary here. I just need some magic and elves.”

Dazai looked around the room. The corner is brimming with colors.

The beakers and glass bottles remind him of a chemistry laboratory.

“Have you heard of a herb called Nirkine?”

Kawabata suddenly said that. His back remained in the same position.

“Never heard of it. Can it cure neurasthenia if boiled in water?”

Kawabata ignored Dazai’s terrible joke. He poured hot water into the teapot.

“It’ll turn into an odorless and tasteless liquid if you refine it with special procedures. A little bit is all you need for a good night’s sleep.”

“So, it’s like a sleeping pill of this world?”

Kawabata didn’t answer. He put the teapot and cups on the table.

“The person won’t wake up no matter what you do. They will be utterly unaware of whatever happened during their slumber.”

“That’s ridiculous. I’m not the best person to say this, but are you sure you’re fine with drinking it?”

“Insomnia is an author’s occupational disease. This works much better than tranquilizers.”

He said that as he poured tea into the cup.

The light brown liquid is steaming. He filled the cup in front of Dazai.

“The leaves are from the Solidia Highlands. It tastes like Ceylon tea.”

Kawabata pushed the cup full of tea toward Dazai. Dazai hesitated to reach his hand out.

During this time, the door was opened with a tremendous noise.

With bird-like chuckles, three young girls flew in joyfully.

“Sensei, you’re not playing with us today?”

“Ah, there’s a stranger!”

“Who?”

The girls’ hair colors are either light green or blue. It’s effortless to tell how outstanding they are.

“Oi, we have a guest. You girls should head back first.”

Kawabata yelled. The girls complained as they made their lively departure.

Dazai looked at the girls in surprise as they left.

“Who are those girls? I don’t think they are elves.”

“You know?”

“They are way too impolite. Even a café waitress has better manners than them, not to mention elves.”

“But they look just the same while sleeping.”

With that, he turned his eyes toward Dazai.

“Disappointing. Here, take a sip before it gets cold.”

“Yeah, sure, but I have a question for you before that.”

Dazai reached his hand to the cup, but he let go of it right away.

“I’ve heard that you know where Akutagawa-sensei is. I’m his kouhai. Can you tell me where he is?”

Kawabata stared at Dazai silently. The latter looked away awkwardly.

“I’ve acquired a power after coming to this world.”

The steaming tea is slowly cooling down as Kawabata speaks. He seems to be diverting the topic of their conversation.

“That power is called ‘Kotodama’. In other words, you’ll do what I say after agreeing with me, no matter what is in that cup of tea.”

Dazai froze. It’s because his hands moved on their own.

“Kawabata, this is?”

“I asked you to drink it. You answered, ‘Yeah, sure.’ That’s how Kotodama is activated.”

His hands aren’t the only uncontrollable things. Dazai ignored his consciousness and poured the tea into his throat and stomach. The hot tea is scorching, yet he can’t stop.

Dazai immediately slammed the cup to the ground. The herb seems to be working. His body is feeling heavier.

“I wish it’s a bit cooler, but this tea only tastes good when it’s hot.”

“Why did you let me drink stuff like this? What are you trying to do to me?”

“Akutagawa-kun won’t be seeing anyone now.”

Kawabata took a sip of tea. His cold eyes are gazing at the wall of the room.

“Even so, you won’t listen to me, anyway. Well, I’ll have to make your body understand then.”

The unbearable pain in Dazai’s throat hurts so much that he can’t breathe. He looked in Kawabata’s direction.

Only that wall is newly painted behind those modernly beautiful sculptures. There seem to be a door and more walls behind.

He finally understood the unusualness upon entering the room.

Compared to the outside, this room is way too narrow. There should be an enormous room behind this door.

“The Nirkine should be working soon.”

“Didn’t you drink it too?”

“I did something on the cups. It’s a waste not to finish the tea.”

“I see. That’s good.”

A sarcastic smile appeared on Dazai’s face.

“What’s wrong, Dazai?”

“Did you not realize it? I changed the cup when those girls were causing a ruckus.”

Kawabata’s eyes bulged. He immediately spilled the tea on the floor.

“Did you believe me? Sensei, you’re unexpectedly honest.”

Dazai’s body is wobbling as he stands up. The tiredness that was ravaging his body disappeared.

“What happened? Don’t tell me you didn’t change the cups?”

“My power is ‘Liar’. It turns a lie into truth as long as the person believes it.”

Kawabata stared daggers at Dazai, yet the latter showed a carefree smile.

“The cups aren’t changed. You’ve been drinking my lies.”

Kawabata kneeled on the floor. Dazai approached him as he rudely untied the belt on his chest.

“Are you taking your revenge on me?”

“I still don’t hate you at this point. It’s more like there’s only kindness.”

Dazai lifted Kawabata’s petite body and opened the brand-new door. It doesn’t match the room at all.

He walked inside. The gloomy room only has a huge bed.

A sweet scent entered his nose.

“Hey, there’s still ample time. Let’s dance to our hearts’ wishes before talking about Akutagawa-sensei.”

*

I looked to the sunny sky after reading it. Which part of this is wholesome…?

I thought about the recent prior restraint laws as I walked toward the building. Yanami is standing before the kiosk next to the entrance with her arms crossed.

“Yanami-san, what are you doing?”

“Oh, Nukumizu-kun, you came at the right time.”

Yanami’s looking at the dozens of freshly baked goheimochi. The so-called goheimochi is made by mashing rice into a straw sandal’s shape, putting it on a wooden stick, adding some miso sauce, and baking it. This is a typical snack served by service areas and roadside stations in the Chubu region.

“Do you want it?”

“….Nukumizu-kun, I’ve thought about the sugar problem.”

“Really? You’ve finally given it a thought?”

“I did. Didn’t humans go from a hunter-gather lifestyle to an agricultural lifestyle around 10,000 years ago? In other words, this is a change toward a sugar-oriented life.

“Eh, is that so? We’re still continuing this topic?”

Yanami nodded naturally.

“After that, sugar becomes the main dish and a crucial part of human history. …You can even say that humanity has become slaves to sugar.”

“So, in other words, you want to eat goheimochi?”

Yanami shook her head.

“It’s time for me to reconsider my views on sugar.”

I’m not sure, but it must be because of that, right?

“So, you got fatter after eating so much somen-“

“I’m not fat. This is Yanami-chan’s 15
th
 nice body after a year.”

Yanami’s gluttony is taking over her again.

“But, Yanami-san, the recent TV shows explained that humans were already absorbing a lot of carbohydrates before the Agricultural Revolution.”

“Oh, is that so?”

“It’s because hunting alone can’t meet the demand. They seem to also collect and preserve plants like acorns.”

Yanami crossed her arms and was lost in thoughts.

“So, in other words, …I can eat goheimochi?”

Do whatever you want, girl. I took out my wallet.

“Wait, Nukumizu-kun, don’t tell me you’re buying goheimochi? You’re standing in front of a girl on a diet.”

“I don’t know about Yanami-san’s diet, but I haven’t had one in a long time. I want to try it.”

She glanced at me.

“…Let me try a bite, …okay?”

“Sharing goheimochi feels…sticky. It’s terrible.”

“Can you not say it like my mouth is sticky?”

“You should go to the hospital if your mouth is dry.”

I feel like I have lost my appetite.

I left Yanami and walked into the building. She’s still staring at the goheimochi.

Let’s end the break here. Senpai needs to hurry up. We’re here to see Yakishio.

Senpai and Komari are standing shoulder to shoulder in the souvenir shop. They seem to be talking about something.

“The plum jam should be on the left, right?”

Tsukinoki-senpai put the jar of plum jam on the shelf.

“N-No, plum jam…is on the right…”

Komari put the jam on the right of the venison curry.

Tsukinoki-senpai gently clenched her fists and frowned.

“Venison curry does give off a strong presence, but it doesn’t feel like it’s on the left side. Doesn’t the plum jam’s sourness gives off a refreshing feeling?”

“Well, well, we should turn right. …T-The world is a-always changing…”

…What are these two doing?

I hesitated to speak up, but Tsukinoki-senpai noticed me. She cleared her throat.

“Nukumizu-kun, it looks like we need to explain.”

“Nope.”

“Listen to me. There has been a ridiculous bias spreading through society. People say fujoshi thinks of top-bottom when they see pencils and erasers.”

Senpai covered her eyes with her palm. She shook her head deliberately.

“Don’t you think it’s really pathetic?”

“Aren’t you two doing the same thing right now?”

“This is a so-called thought experiment, alright? It’s like brainstorming.”

That’s not what brainstorming is.

“To us, we need to quickly create the best couple when a new anime releases. That’s why it’s necessary to stimulate our brains constantly. …Right, it’s like basic training in sports clubs. This is a reasonable hobby for a Literature Club member.”

I didn’t know the Literature Club was such a scary place. I shall reconsider my approach to these people.

“I don’t want to understand, but I understand. Well, what do the left and right mean?”

“Look, in horizontal texts, it’s top x bottom. The top is on the left, right? So, it’s left for the top, right for the bottom.”

Komari nodded repeatedly.

“T-That’s how w-we can talk about this in f-front of people.”

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

“So, t-the plum jam is the bot- …no, it’s on the right?”

“What are you talking about? The plum jam is definitely the top.”

“No, the plum jam is r-right.”

Komari’s stubborn opinion made Tsukinoki-senpai squint her eyes. She’s lost in thought.

“So, the venison curry is the top? But isn’t it too cliché for spicy things to be on top?”

Hey, where did the left and right go? Aren’t you two in front of people?

“B-But, the curry’s stimulus will hurt the person. …T-That’s why-“

After hearing that, Tsukinoki-senpai clapped in praise.

“I see…! Even though they want to fall in love, they can’t touch each other because they will get hurt! What is this? It’s getting lit!”

Tsukinoki-senpai was really excited for a moment, but then her expression darkened. She bit her lips.

“But my brain is already fixed on plum jam being the top…”

“T-That can’t be helped.”

Komari nodded. What’s with these two’s conversation?

“Well, anyway, senpai, it’s time for us to leave, right?”

The two fujoshi shot heavy glances at me.

“There’s no way out of this. Nukumizu-kun, you should decide.”

Tsukinoki-senpai nodded at me.

“Oi, Nukumizu, decide.”

Komari glared at me over her bangs.

…What decision am I given here?

“Uh, well, …this will do.”

I randomly grabbed some goods under their stare.

“This is the sudden intrusion of the tonkotsu ramen, right? Sure, Nukumizu-kun.”

“You…are an expert.”

“Eh, did I put the venison curry on something else?”

“If that’s acceptable. Alright, we all agreed, right? Let’s leave-“

“Come here, Nukumizu-kun!”

Tsukinoki-senpai’s eyes brightened up. She pulled me to the shelf at the corner.

There is a lot of persevered food here. Let’s continue here.

“O-Oh, …oh, yamagobo…” [TL: Japanese pickle made from burdock roots.]

“Komari-chan, you’re already on the attack?

“Well, ehehe…”

The two are chatting passionately. I looked at the pickles in front of me dazedly.

Hey, …aren’t we supposed to leave?