Mayonnaise and the Minor Turmoil
Now that their wounds had healed, Tsukasa and the others started taking on their share of the village chores. Tsukasa had lived alone back on Earth, so he was quite good at cooking. His job was to help Lyrule prepare the meals.
Elm Village didn’t have individual kitchens in each house. Instead, all the food was stored in a nearby cave, and everyone ate their meals together at either the mayor’s house slash local office or in the village square.
Because of that, Tsukasa and the other cooks had to wake up early. The village had little in the way of seasoning, meaning the menu was depressingly consistent, but the sheer volume of food required to feed everyone meant that cooking was still quite an undertaking.
The sun hadn’t even risen yet, but Tsukasa, Lyrule, and the three other cooks were already hard at work, diligently preparing breakfast. Tsukasa peeled the vegetables, then passed them to Lyrule so she could cut them into bite-size pieces.
“Mmrn…” Midway through, Lyrule let out an adorable little moan.
“What’s wrong, Lyrule?”
“Why is it that I always cry when I’m cutting onions?”
“Ha-ha. Well, that’s just how onions are.”
“I hate it… Mmrn… And I can’t just close my eyes when I’m cutting them; that wouldn’t be safe.”
“You could try pouring some water from that bucket onto your knife first. When you cut onions, they emit something called allyl sulfide into the air. That’s what makes you tear up. But the water from your knife should dilute it and reduce the effect.”
“Really?” Lyrule followed his instructions. After wetting her knife, she cut into the onions again. Tsukasa’s words proved true. It didn’t sting quite as badly.
“Wow! This is so much better than before! You know so much, Tsukasa!”
“Onions tormented humankind back on our world, too.”
The two of them continued chatting away as they skillfully prepared the food.
Even with the village’s paucity of ingredients, the culinary skills Tsukasa had gained from living alone quickly earned him a good deal of popularity among the villagers.
Lyrule had been particularly impressed and remarked, “It’s so nice that you skin the vegetables properly, unlike Winona.”
Winona’s rebuttal had been “There might be nutrients in those skins; you don’t know! See, I was keeping that in mind and intentionally not peeling them!”
However, given how many people she’d poisoned in the past by forgetting to remove potato sprouts, no one came to her defense.
Then, a few days after Tsukasa joined the food prep team…
“Hmm. What to do, what to do.”
It was early in the morning, and when Tsukasa showed up at the storehouse to pick up the ingredients, he found Lyrule there with her arms crossed and a vexed expression.
“What’s on your mind?”
“…At dinner yesterday, Lucca and the other little ones were complaining.”
Tsukasa thought back to the previous evening. In the village, there were a number of children even younger than Lyrule and Elch. Lucca was, of course, one of them.
“Right, they were complaining about being sick of potatoes and stew. I remember their parents getting really cross with them.”
“Yes, that. But I doubt the children are the only ones tired of eating the same thing day in and day out. Everyone else is just too polite to say it… That’s why I was hoping I could think of something different to make with just the ingredients we already have.”
“Hmm. If only we had some sugar and pepper. That would open up all sorts of options for us.”
“W-we could never afford something so luxurious, though!”
“Ah, I see. So sugar and pepper are luxury items here?”
Now that she mentioned it, Tsukasa hadn’t seen either since coming to this world. Honey was basically it as far as sweeteners went. Sugar must have been scarce, just like during the Earth’s Middle Ages.
“Hmm… I really can’t think of anything, though.”
“It’s hardly your fault. With us in the mix, cooking for sixty-odd people is no easy task. Your lack of options when it comes to ingredients and seasonings aside, your main problem is that there’s simply no time to spend coming up with ideas.”
“…I suppose you’re right. It is a shame, though…”
“Ah, so this is where you two were. I couldn’t find you anywhere,” a third voice said, suddenly interrupting their idle conversation.
The voice belonged to Sogno, a housewife and another member of the cooking staff. She was also Lucca’s mother. Although she was supposedly from the same generation as Winona, the stress of raising three children made her look much more her age.
“What’re you two doing, chatting in a gloomy storehouse like this? Having a secret date?”
“N-no, no, it’s not that at all! We were just trying to think of some new dishes we could make.”
“Oh, did what my kid say yesterday get to you? You really don’t need to spoil the little ones. We’re lucky we have enough to eat at all. Before Winona’s husband, Adel, brought potatoes up from the south, just feeding ourselves each day was a struggle.”
“Still, I was hoping I could think of something that would change things up a little.”
“Well, if it’s that easy, then I’m all for it. Do you have any ideas?”
Silence was the only answer Lyrule could muster.
“Well, if not, could you hurry it up with the ingredients? We don’t exactly have all day, you know.” Sogno rocked the basket she was carrying. Inside, there was a heap of elliptical white orbs…specifically, hen eggs.
“Oh, wow, that’s a good harvest.”
“Yeah, we lucked out. There’ll be enough for everyone to have two today.”
Not only were eggs nutritious, their supply was relatively stable.
Tsukasa knew they’d been expensive back in Earth’s Middle Ages, but poultry farming had developed faster in this world, making eggs one of Elm Village’s staple foods.
Normally, they just stuck them straight in a pot and ate them boiled.
After all, it would take forever to prepare enough scrambled or fried eggs for everyone with the cookware the village had access to. The plan was probably to toss them in a pot and boil them up today as usual. However…
Eggs… Aha. Now there’s a thought.
Seeing the mountain of eggs sent a bolt of inspiration through Tsukasa’s mind. He had an idea. With the tools and ingredients in the village, they could easily re-create the condiment that took Earth’s eighteenth century culinary world by storm.
“With that many eggs, we could try making mayonnaise.”
“Mayo—?”
“—naise? What’s that?”
“A condiment used back in our world. All you need are eggs—specifically egg yolks, salt, vinegar, and oil. It’s easy to make and really tasty. It’s particularly delicious on boiled potatoes, eggs, and fresh vegetables, but in a pinch, you can put it on anything.”
“Oh my! It sounds too good to be true!”
“The village does have all those ingredients you listed, but is it really as delicious as all that?”
“You have my word on it. In fact, it’s so tasty that there are some people back on our world called Mayo Freaks who can’t enjoy a meal that doesn’t have mayonnaise on it. Some of them get so bad that they start eating it straight.”
“That…sounds really bad.”
“Is… Is this stuff really safe to eat?”
Seeing their alarm, Tsukasa gave a broad grin and nodded.
“As with all things, moderation is key. So what do you think? Want me to tell you how to make it?”
After thinking for a little bit, Sogno gave him her answer.
“Well, only using the yolks seems like a bit of a waste, but we did get a lot of eggs today. All right, go ahead. Show us how it’s done.”
“Hooray! Oh, thank you, Sogno.”
“In that case, let’s head over to the kitchen. And, Sogno, your children are outside, right? Would you mind calling them over and asking them to give us a hand?”
“My kids tend to run a little wild. I’m not sure they’ll be much help.”
“Don’t worry, it’s nothing too complicated. Pretty much all they’ll be doing is stirring. And besides, everything tastes better when you help make it yourself, right?”
Leaving dinner prep to Sogno and the other members of the cooking group, Tsukasa and Lyrule headed to the kitchen, accompanied by the kids and their babysitter, Akatsuki.
“All right, now I’m going to teach you how to make mayonnaise.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
“““Yaaay!”””
Lyrule and the kids responded enthusiastically. Akatsuki, on the other hand, seemed miffed.
“Man, cooking isn’t even my job. Why should I have to?”
It wasn’t so much that the boy was an uncooperative slacker. Rather, it was that he was a magician. His very livelihood depended on his fine control over his fingertips. In other words, his aversion to cooking stemmed from the chance that he’d hurt his fingers on a sharp object or a hot metal. His magic raked in ten billion yen a night, so if he hurt his hands and couldn’t perform, the losses would be considerable.
Tsukasa had, of course, taken this into account.
“You want to increase the village’s culinary repertoire, too, don’t you? We won’t be using any knives or hot pans, so can I count on you to help?” By demonstrating that he respected Akatsuki’s dedication to his profession, he was able to quell the magician’s fears.
Akatsuki grinned wryly at Tsukasa’s carefully chosen words.
“There you go again…showing people how much you care about their feelings while cutting off their escape routes.”
“It comes with the job.” Tsukasa gave a nihilistic smile in response, then began the instructions.
“Okay, so the first step is to crack your egg and pour just the yolk into a separate bowl.”
“We’re splitting them up?”
“Yup. Mayonnaise only uses the yolks.”
“That feels like such a waste…”
“Don’t worry about it. We can put the leftover whites into the stew; that way they’ll still go to good use. Also, when you’re separating out the yolks, it’s easier to wash your hands and pick them up with your palms than to scoop them up with a spoon. We’d have to worry about microorganisms if we were planning on storing it, but it’s fine to ignore that for now because I doubt any of it’ll survive the evening.”
“Ah, I see.”
Lyrule had been a member of the food prep team for a while now, and it showed in the way she handled the eggs. As she separated the yolks from the whites, she managed to avoid breaking a single one.
Akatsuki got to show off his nimble fingers, too. Cooking may not have been his forte, but he was king when it came to manual dexterity.
The kids, however, didn’t catch on quite as quickly. Unable to control their strength well when cracking the eggs, they often ended up crushing the yolks between their fingers.
“Oh no, I smooshed it…”
“Ah-ha-ha! Lucca, you suck at this!”
“I’m sorry…”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not like the egg is ruined; we can still put it in the stew like the whites. Next time, make sure you crack it carefully so the yolk doesn’t break.”
“O-okay!”
Lucca and the other kids smiled happily at Tsukasa’s encouragement, then got back to work. Seeing his tolerance for mistakes eased their nervousness. All the kids messed it up at first, but they got the hang of it soon enough.
“I did it! Miss Lyrule, look! I did it!”
“Me, too! I only broke one of ’em!”
“That’s very impressive. You’re all doing great.”
Lyrule’s praise made kids adorably bashful. Noticing that the children were still smiling, Tsukasa continued the lesson.
“Next, we’re going to be adding the flavor. First, mix the salt and vinegar into the egg yolks and thoroughly stir it up. Then do the same with the olive oil.”
The kids looked at Tsukasa like he’d grown a second head.
“We-we’re gonna put olive oil in our food?!”
“Ew, gross!”
“…Can you even eat that stuff?”
Elm Village made its living off of hunting, but although tallow featured prominently in their culture, they had yet to come up with the idea of using olive oil in food. As far as they were concerned, it was just something they bought from the city to wash their hair, ears, and tails with. In Earth terms, it would be like having a recipe that called for shampoo. Their shock was perfectly understandable. Tsukasa was going to have to explain.
“You guys don’t cook with it here, but back in our world, that was actually the main thing it was used for. It’s actually better for you than tallow.”
“Oh, really? I’ve never left this village, so I had no idea…”
Lyrule and the others did as they were told, pouring olive oil into their yolk-and-vinegar mixture and churning it.
They seemed hesitant, but that was to be expected. The boy prime minister continued his instructions undeterred, knowing that they’d be singing a different tune once they tried some.
“Once it’s thoroughly mixed, replenish the oil little by little and keep churning. When it’s mixed again, repeat the process and keep doing that until you’ve used up your share of olive oil. Once you run out, you’re done.”
“Huh? That’s all?”
“Wow, that’s easy-peasy!”
“Right? At the end of the day, mayonnaise is just water-soluble vinegar and oil with some egg yolk to hold it together.”
It didn’t require any special tools or techniques. All you needed was enough stamina to mix and mix and mix. As far as everyone was doing on that front, Lyrule had clearly grown up in the mountains without modern conveniences. She breezed through it. The three kids, for their part, took turns to split up the load. Akatsuki got tuckered out midway through, but Tsukasa stepped in to cover for him. Ten minutes or so later, their first batch of mayonnaise, quite possibly the first batch on this world, was finished.
Lyrule and the others all gazed gingerly at the mayonnaise sitting in the bowl.
“So this is…a condiment from your world?”
“I-it looks kinda gross…”
“It’s all goopy and sticky… Hey, mister, are you sure this is gonna be tasty?”
“I thought you might ask that, so I steamed some potatoes in preparation.” Tsukasa went and retrieved the potatoes he’d been cooking in the kitchen’s fireplace, then placed them in front of Lyrule and the others. “Go on, try putting some mayonnaise on top.”
Lyrule and the kids seemed trepidatious at first, but up in the mountains, the children didn’t get to eat treats often. Furthermore, they had the healthy appetites of growing boys and girls. They weren’t about to turn down a free snack.
The four of them split the two potatoes among themselves, smeared mayonnaise on them with a wooden spatula, and dug in.
“Foo, foo… Haumph!”
Their eyes all went wide.
“…!”
“Wow!”
“It’s so yummy! It’s so good!”
“This is way better than just eating them with salt!”
Their eyes glittered as they let out joyous cries about how tasty it was. But who could blame them? After all, mayonnaise had the soft acidity of vinegar and the richness of egg, all wrapped up in an oily coating. To a tongue that had never tasted seasoning beyond salt and vinegar, the flavor must have been downright revolutionary. The magic that had won the entire Earth over in a single short century wasn’t just for show.
“This is… This is the first time I’ve ever had something so gently sour!”
“I don’t doubt it. It’s hard to find acidity quite like this outside of mayonnaise.”
“Wow, man, they weren’t kidding. Did mayonnaise always taste this good?”
“It’s probably because of how fresh the eggs were, Akatsuki. The sweetness of the eggs is what lets the sourness and saltiness harmonize so well and why mayo doesn’t need any sugar or pepper to accentuate its flavor. And because ours didn’t have any additives in it, it didn’t have any of that unpleasant lingering bitterness, either. In fact, it came out amazingly well.”
It was wholly unlike the kind of mass-produced mayonnaise you could buy in stores. The thick richness blended perfectly with the sourness and saltiness, like in cheese. You couldn’t get quality like this unless you made it yourself.
“Seconds! Can I have seconds?!”
“I wanna keep eating it, too!”
The children seemed to have taken a liking to it, as they immediately started asking for more.
But Lyrule, the senior of the group, kept them in check.
“No, no, no. If you eat any more, you’ll spoil your dinners.”
“Maaan…”
“Okay…”
“And also, don’t you all have something to say to Tsukasa?”
The children leaped at Lyrule’s reminder, then turned to Tsukasa.
“““Thank you, Mr. Tsukasa!””” they cheered in unison, each beaming as bright and wide as sunflowers.
“I’m just glad you all enjoyed it.”
Having received the best kind of thanks possible, Tsukasa started cleaning up the spatulas and eggshells they’d used.
“Oh, let me help you with that,” offered Lyrule as she went over to his side.
Then, with a smile as big as the kids’, she whispered, “I think you made them very happy.”
“Yeah, and I’m happy, too, that my knowledge was of some use to you all.”
“At any rate, between this and the onions, I’m surprised by how much you know about cooking. And I would never have expected a man like you to be so adept with your hands.”
“I started helping my mother in the kitchen when I was around Lucca’s age, you see.”
“Oh, is that why? I’m impressed. You don’t see many boys helping their mothers like that.”
“I liked spending time with her. You could say I was a bit of a mama’s boy. After I started living on my own, I had plenty of opportunities to polish my talents. Nowadays, it’s one of my few useful skills.”
“You stopped living with your mother?”
Lyrule had intended it as a casual question. She was basically just making small talk. She’d noticed something interesting in their conversation, so she’d asked about it, nothing more. That was why—
“…No. She abandoned me.”
“Huh?”
—the unexpected answer made her face freeze.
“She had her reasons. After all, I did something horrible to her. Something unforgivable, and it wounded her deeply.”
“Th-that’s—I’m…”
But before Lyrule could ask more questions—
“What do you people want?!?!”
“““…?!”””
—Winona’s uncharacteristically furious voice echoed through the kitchen.
Tsukasa left his cleaning duties and rushed outside as soon as he heard the shouting. He looked toward where it had come from: the entrance to the village. There, he saw a plain carriage with four men standing beside it. Each wore a sword at his waist. Winona was standing in front of them, eyes narrowed. Tsukasa turned to Masato, who’d been quietly watching the scene play out from beside the mayor’s house.
“What’s going on, Merchant?”
“They’re soldiers on patrol.”
“…Soldiers, huh. That means they’re members of whatever administrative body runs this world. But it doesn’t exactly look like they come in peace, does it?”
Shinobu, who’d been standing next to Masato, answered that one. “They waited for the men to go out hunting, then barged in demanding beer and food.”
“Ah, and that’s why Winona’s angry.”
These were the first soldiers Tsukasa had seen, so he took a good, long look at them. Of the four, three of them all had the same equipment. Their helmets and breastplates were made of metal…it looked to be bronze. However, their arms and legs seemed more or less unprotected. As far as armor went, it was pretty light. At a glance, it all looked fairly cheap. Those guys were probably low-ranked grunts. Then there was the arrogant man standing behind the others wearing a cloak and bronze armor covering his entire body. Given his equipment and demeanor, he was likely their commander.
“Lyrule, be sure you hide, like the other times. If they found someone as cute as you living here, things could turn ugly.”
“G-got it!”
Responding to one of the village’s middle-aged women’s stern warning, the blond-haired girl quickly scurried behind the door to the mayor’s house. Winona and the others continued arguing as Lyrule made her escape.
“I’m telling you, we don’t got any beer for you to drink or meat for you to eat! We give it all as tribute to the lord we serve! If you want booze, why don’t you go ask him for some?!”
“Hey, lady, you’d better watch that mouth of yours. This here’s Scido, an Imperial Knight! Peasants like you shouldn’t be talkin’ so familiar-like with him.”
“Yeah, and we’re tellin’ you that out of the goodness of our hearts! You guys heard about that house that got attacked by bandits down in Papad Village at the base of the mountain, didn’t you? All the women and children inside got killed. Even these parts’re gettin’ dangerous these days. I’m sayin’ we’ll protect you when your men are away. No bandits’d dare come here when Lord Findolph’s soldiers are around.”
“That’s right… But if you run us outta here? Y’know, I hear these bandits don’t just got swords, they even got armor. What’re a bunch of women and kids gonna do against people like that, huh?”
“You people… Are you saying…?” Sensing something in the soldiers’ eyes, Winona’s gaze hardened.
The soldiers’ grins deepened. The man with the flashy armor and self-assured demeanor, who up until now had been content to listen, approached Winona.
“Hey now, don’t look so scared. We’re here as knights who uphold peace in the empire ’cause we’re worried about you. We’re here to protect you. We’re just askin’ for a little hospitality in return, that’s all… Besides, I bet you’re all pent-up ’cause your husband bit it, ain’tcha? Why don’t you lemme show you some pity up close and personal?” As he spoke, the knight named Scido reached toward Winona’s chest. It was all too obvious where those open palms of his were heading. The sheer crassness of his actions and vulgarity of his words made Winona’s face flush scarlet with rage.
However—
“Trying to lay a hand on a woman’s breasts without permission? I see what you mean—these parts are swarming with low-life bandits.”
—before Winona’s fury could erupt, Tsukasa stepped in and stopped the soldier.
“Tsu-Tsukasa…!”
Tsukasa grabbed the soldier’s arm as he positioned himself in front of Winona to protect her.
Masato, watching his friend from a distance, muttered, “Figured he’d do that,” with a faint smile. The soldiers, however, were hardly amused. Their eyes widened in anger as they yelled in unison, “Who the hell d’ya think you are?!”
Tsukasa responded, “I’m a guest in this village and have been living here the past month. My good soldiers, we appreciate the offer but ask that you kindly leave. As you can see, the village is already under my protection. As long as I’m here, it’ll remain safe. Even if, say…four bandits were to show up dressed as soldiers.” The prime minister glared coldly at the shouting soldiers and released their leader’s arm. Then he waved his hands at them to shoo them away. “Now, if you would please leave. Although, if you remain insistent that we feed you, I’m sure we have some potatoes we could rustle up.”
Scido rose up, his body visibly shaking with rage.
“You little… You commoner, you beast that crawls on the ground! You would take that tone with me, when I hold the title of Bronze Knight? Sounds like someone doesn’t know his place…!” Scido drew his overly well-maintained sword, then shouted, “An affront against a Bronze Knight is an affront against the Freyjagard Empire! An affront against His Majesty, the Emperor, himself! Men! Strike him down for his insolence!”
“““Hraaaaagh!!!!””” On Scido’s orders, his men drew their swords and charged at Tsukasa.
Winona went pale and shouted, “Tsukasa! Run!”
However—
“Oh, brother…”
—Tsukasa did no such thing.
In fact, he strode toward the armed men rushing at him.
“—Ur…gh?!”
The closest one was first.
After sliding past the man’s sword, which had been aimed at his throat, Tsukasa casually passed him by and unleashed a knife-hand strike.
With one blow to the medulla oblongata, the soldier dropped to the ground.
Then, without missing a beat, Tsukasa turned toward the sword bearing down on him from above.
“Hah!”
Instead of dodging the attack, Tsukasa stepped into it, grabbed the soldier’s arm, and performed a one-arm shoulder throw. His target was, of course, the third soldier.
“Argh!”
“Urf!”
Having now dealt with those two, Tsukasa took the sword he’d snatched with his free hand while throwing one of his assailants. Bronze Knight Scido was frozen in place, utterly stunned and gaping at Tsukasa’s display of martial prowess. Tsukasa seized the moment and shoved the sword in Scido’s defenseless mouth.
“Ack—”
Feeling the flat of the blade touch his molars, the Bronze Knight stiffened in fear.
Frigid light burned in Tsukasa’s heterochromatic eyes. “You’re a worm, a parasite who preys on order. It looks like subtlety’s wasted on you, so let me put this bluntly—if you value your lives, run.”
Scido trembled. His rattling teeth clinked against the sword. Now he understood. Bronze Knight was the lowest rank of nobility, but it was a noble rank nonetheless. However, it meant little to the commoner before him, who clearly wouldn’t hesitate to take his life.
“Y-yeeep!”
“W-wait for us, Commander!”
“Dammit! Th-this isn’t over, you hear!”
Their retreat was swift. They scrambled over one another to get on their carriage, then fled the village atop it. The villagers cheered as they watched the soldiers make their pathetic flight into the distance. Townsfolk dashed over to Tsukasa, eyes glittering and cheeks flush.
“Wow! That was amazing, mister!”
“That was so cool!”
“You threw a guy that big with those skinny arms?! You might not look it, but you’re buff!”
“That was just some basic self-defense. My world isn’t exactly peaceful, either.”
Besides, in Tsukasa’s profession, he often found himself making enemies of powerful people. It had gotten so bad that he’d stopped keeping track of how many assassins had been sent after him. The fingers on both hands weren’t enough to count how many he’d had to stop himself. Tsukasa might not have been as brawny as the men of the village, but when it came to surviving life-and-death experiences, he was something of an expert.
Recently, he’d had a skilled bodyguard named Chang who took care of most of that stuff for him, but Chang himself had started as an assassin after Tsukasa’s life. Tsukasa’d turned the tables on him and won him to his side, so the boy was by no means weak.
“Even if they’re armed, guys of that caliber pose no threat to me.”
“Still, that was dangerous! You can’t just go in empty-handed against men with swords!” Amid the cheers, Lyrule alone was scolding Tsukasa with a tense expression. When he looked, Tsukasa saw tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. His sudden act of barbarity must have given her quite an unpleasant shock.
Sensing that, Tsukasa offered her an earnest apology.
“…I’m sorry for worrying you, but I couldn’t just stand by and watch one of my saviors be assaulted like that. I hope you can find it in you to forgive me.”
“Tsukasa…” Hearing that, not even Lyrule could continue scolding him.
“At any rate, what a lovely group they were. They didn’t even hesitate to attack an unarmed opponent. Is that kind of thing common in this world?”
“…Nobles can kill commoners like us without it even being a crime.”
“Right, he did say he was striking me down for my insolence. Come to think of it, we used to have a law like that in Japan, too… I don’t like any of this.”
“Hey, don’t we have a problem? Those guys may have been thugs, but they were still soldiers. If we turn ’em loose and they report back to their lord, isn’t it gonna get messy?”
Masato’s concerns were valid, but…Tsukasa had already thought of that.
“Don’t worry. I’ve already taken steps to prevent that.”
Elsewhere, fleeing had done little to quell the anger of the soldiers. Their faces were contorted in expressions of humiliation and fury as their carriage barreled toward the castle.
“Animals, the lot of ’em! Those barbarians, they’ll see! Once we get back to the castle, we’ll give a full report to our lord. That’ll teach ’em not to mess with us!”
“There’s no way he’ll let an insult to a Bronze Knight like that slide, Commander!”
“Of course not! He’ll have every byuma in that damn village up on a pike, even the women and children!” But no sooner had Scido spat the words than an auspicious answer came.
“Well, I can’t exactly let that slide.”
A sudden voice rang out from overhead.
“Wh-who was that?!”
They stopped the carriage and looked around. Then…
“AHHHH!” One of the soldiers looked toward the sky and let out a shrill scream.
Alarmed, Scido and the others looked up as well. And what they saw…was the High School Prodigy Prince Akatsuki clad in his stage outfit—top hat, cloak, and eye mask—floating in the fair autumn sky.
“Th-there’s someone floating?!”
“N-no way…! L-levitation?! Is that a mage?!”
“That’s right! My name’s Prince Akatsuki, and I’m the grand mage who protects Elm Village!”
Akatsuki gazed down at the soldiers. The boy overemphasized the ends of his sentences, as he often did for his shows. He’d also introduced himself under a false title.
The magician was following the instructions Tsukasa had given him beforehand. Tsukasa’s hypothesis had been that because mages were so valuable and respected, pretending to be one would serve as a deterrent. By all accounts, his guess had been right on the money.
The moment they heard the word mage, Scido and the other soldiers’ faces went all the way past pale and turned a ghostly shade of white.
“But that can’t be…! Only Prime Mages are supposed to be able to use levitation…! Why’s there a Prime Mage in a shitty little village like that…?!”
“Heh-heh-heh. They found me collapsed in the mountains and rescued me. I owe them a great debt. Now, perhaps I can repay that debt by saving them! You threatened their lives and livelihoods, so I have but to erase you from this world!” And with that ringing declaration, Akatsuki grabbed his cloak and hurled it. The cape floated gently through the air, eventually landing atop the horse that had been pulling their carriage.
The soldiers had been flabbergasted seeing someone floating in the air but regained their senses quickly enough.
“I-idiots! What’re you doing?! Quick, get the horse movin’! We’re gettin’ out of here!”
“G-got it! A-argh! This stupid cloth’s in the way!”
Agitated, the soldiers pulled the cloak off the horse. But then, quite abruptly…
“““AHHH!”””
With a jolt, the carriage pitched forward. The sudden shift and impact had made Scido and his subordinates shut their eyes in reflexive fear, but they opened them after a moment to see what was going on.
“…Huh?”
Something unbelievable had happened before the four men. There had definitely been a horse pulling their carriage a moment ago, but now it was gone. Vanished, without a trace. All that remained was the bridle that had hitched the horse to its load.
“E-eeeeeek! Th-the horse! The horse is goooone!!”
Having just witnessed something that defied all logic, Scido and the others screamed as they collapsed in shock.
Akatsuki landed and walked slowly toward them.
“I told you I’d erase you from the world, didn’t I? Mwa-ha-ha. All right, now it’s your turn. Just like that poor horse, I’ll use my grand magic to get rid of you, leaving neither hide nor hair!”
“No, no…” By that point, Scido and the others had long since lost their will to fight.
Writhing on the ground and pissing themselves, they begged for their lives.
“P-p-please, spare us! Spare us! I won’t say a word! I won’t tell the lord what happened here!”
“M-me, neither! I swear to God! Please don’t erase meeeee!”
“Nooooo! I don’t wanna die! I don’t wanna die!”
“Eeeeeeek!”
“—Pfft.”
Seeing their pathetic, over-the-top reactions almost made Akatsuki burst out laughing. After all, he was nothing but a stage magician. None of his so-called grand magic had been anything more than magnificent acts of sleight of hand and illusion. All of them were based on tricks and contrivances. There was no way he could actually make them disappear, of course. That was why he found their exaggerated astonishment so funny.
Sounds like it’s time to start wrapping this up.
“…Heh. It appears you understand just how terrifying Prince Akatsuki can be. Very well! If you swear not to say anything to your lord, I’m prepared to spare your lives just this once. However! If you ever break that promise—”
Akatsuki paused for a second, then unveiled his final trick. With a thump, something collapsed onto the ground and rolled toward the soldiers: Akatsuki’s own head. Severed from his neck…
“—your heads will fall off, then and there.” The head flashed them a malevolent grin.
That was enough to seal the deal.
“………”
Frothing at the mouth, the soldiers passed out.
“Phew! Welp, that’s that.”
Having finished his mission, Akatsuki sighed. His head was back on his neck as if it had never left. It made sense. After all, people couldn’t talk their heads detached from their necks. After double-checking to make sure the soldiers were unconscious, he pulled out his smartphone and called Tsukasa. Thanks to the efforts of Ringo Oohoshi, their phones worked again. Tsukasa must have been waiting for him, as the call connected immediately.
“This is Tsukasa. How’d it go?”
“I did everything exactly like you told me. They bought it pretty hard, so I don’t think they’ll be telling anyone… But man, you’re amazing. Picking a fight like that against four guys with swords?”
“Swords are only as scary as the persons wielding them… If anything, you’re the amazing one. How’d you manage to pull off your magic without any of your tools or equipment?”
Akatsuki gave his tongue an affected click, then replied chidingly, “C’mon, Tsukasa, you know better than that. A magician never reveals his secrets.”
Whatever the case, their enemies’ wills had been broken. Thanks to Tsukasa’s quick thinking and Akatsuki’s magic, the seeds of turmoil that had visited the village had been successfully nipped in the bud.
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