“Are you trying to change the subject?” Masachika interjected scornfully as the chopsticks hovered in front of his mouth. Munch, munch.
“Is it good?”
“It’s really good…but, uh… I think I’ve had enough.”
“What? Why? You’re a growing boy. You need to eat.”
“If I keep eating, you’re not going to have any lunch left for yourself.”
“Hmm? Don’t worry about me. I’m already satisfied. The happiness that this gives me just fills me right up.”
Masachika instinctively averted his gaze from her innocent, cheerful smile.
I—I don’t see how she can say something so embarrassing with a straight face.
A prickling sensation crept over his entire body, making him hunch forward and scratch his arm…but a pair of chopsticks hovered in front of him once more.
“Open wide.”
“No, really. I’m fine… I’m already full…of something.”
“What? Really? Are you sure you’re not just trying to be nice?”
“I’m positive. Thanks a lot, though. It was really good. The rest is all yours.”
As he firmly refused and held up his hand to stop the advancing chopsticks, Maria pouted slightly and pulled the food away…and suddenly, her eyes widened as if she’d had an epiphany. She grinned and held out her entire lunch box toward him.
“Then could you feed me next?”
“What?”
“I want you to return the favor by feeding me just like I fed you.”
After placing the lunch box in Masachika’s lap, Maria leaned toward him, closed her eyes, and parted her lips.
“Ahhhn.”
“Huh? S-seriously?”
“Ahhh.”
Maria continued to wait in that position, paying no heed to Masachika’s concern.
Uh… Feeding each other like this makes us seem like some sort of stupid couple… Wait! Wouldn’t this be an indirect kiss?!
He swallowed hard as he gazed at Maria. Her eyes were closed, emphasizing her long eyelashes and her soft, plump cheeks. Her delicate beauty was a blend of youthful innocence and mature allure.
“Hmm?”
“…!”
Her eyes snapped open, making Masachika flinch a bit as they made eye contact. Her irises, which had always appeared light brown from a distance, were actually a complex blend of shimmering greens and blues up close. The intensity of her stare made his heart flutter.
“…!”
He quickly looked away, and the first thing he saw as he avoided her gaze was a cherry tomato. He picked it up with his chopsticks, then offered it to her while cupping his left hand underneath, in case he accidentally dropped it.
“Uh, a-ahhh.”
“Ahhh.”
But right as Maria tried to bite down on the cherry tomato he was awkwardly holding to her lips…
“Ah!”
…the cherry tomato slipped from the chopsticks between Maria’s lips and landed on his left palm. Right as it was about to roll off and onto the couch, he curled his fingers, trapping it. Maria immediately placed her hand under his, then lifted it up and brought it to her lips.
“Eep?!”
She scooped up the tomato from his hand with her mouth, her lips brushing against his palm. It was over in the blink of an eye, and the sensation could have easily been dismissed as his imagination, but a shiver still ran down his spine. She chewed on the tomato and smiled bashfully, perhaps oblivious to his reaction.
“Tee-hee. I guess that wasn’t good manners,” she remarked after swallowing. Masachika then shoved both the chopsticks and the lunch box back into her hands.
“Um… You should eat the rest by yourself.”
“What? Why?”
“Come on. Give me a break already.”
Watching Masachika shake his head, Maria took back her belongings, as if she had realized something. Although he tried not to make it obvious, he was undeniably overcome with relief as she resettled in her spot and faced forward, taking her eyes off him.
“So, uh…”
“Yes?”
“…Is it just me, or are you sitting a little close?”
It was a rhetorical question because she was undoubtedly sitting closer to him, made clear by the fact that their arms and legs were touching.
“You look really depressed, so I thought you could use a little physical affection to help you relax and feel better.”
“I don’t think I’m going to be able to relax at all like this…”
If anything, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. On the other hand, it didn’t give him any time to be depressed, either.
“…Are you nervous?”
“Er… Uh… I guess…”
Why is she only sharp during times like this? wondered Masachika, while averting his gaze. She’d smiled after asking her probing question.
“Is that so? I’m glad. Because my heart is racing, too.”
“O-oh? Really?” Masachika asked skeptically, making Maria pout.
“Really… Want to see for yourself?”
“…?!”
How would people usually check…to see if someone’s heart was racing?
“H-how?”
Before he even realized it, he was saying those words aloud, and a wave of hope and regret washed over him. He wanted to bury his head in his hands, but what was said couldn’t be unspoken. Maria, however, turned her back to him.
“…?”
“Go ahead.”
“…?”
“Listen to how quickly my heart is beating.”
“……Ohhh.”
He remained frozen for a few seconds before eventually realizing what she meant.
Right, this is Masha we’re talking about. Obviously, it would be easier to listen to her heartbeat from behind than from the front… Ha-ha-ha…
In his mind, he chuckled mirthlessly, then he plopped sideways onto the couch, curling up into a ball while using the armrest as a pillow.
I want to die…
What exactly was he expecting? Regardless, Masachika just wanted to die, disgusted by his own desires.
“Kuze? Huh? What’s wrong? You shouldn’t lie down right after eating. If you do…uh, what’s that saying…an animal? Yeah, you’ll turn into an animal, you know?”
“An animal…?”
“H-ha-ha… Which would you prefer to be? A pig or a cow?”
“…Generally, you’d go with cow.”
“Really? Then you’re a cow! You’re my cow now.”
“What kind of dominatrix role-play is this? Should I start calling you Queen Masha? Hold up… Wouldn’t it be better if I were a pig, then?”
“…? If I’m a queen, wouldn’t it be better if you were a cat?”
“I feel like we’re thinking about different kinds of queens.”
Nevertheless, he wouldn’t know how to even respond if she were to ask him why a queen would prefer a pig to a cat, so he dropped the topic completely. He then sat up, lay heavily back on the couch, and started to daydream once more. They continued to sit in silence until Maria eventually finished her lunch and asked:
“So? What are you so depressed about?”
“…!”
The abrupt question was straight to the point, making Masachika briefly freeze in astonishment…but he relaxed almost right away, then replied with a sense of resignation.
“I was just thinking about…how I’m the villain.” He paused after the nonchalant comment, then began to add a few details, since he realized that he was being too vague. “Some villains are just born with talent, and they mock the hero’s hard work. These villains put no effort into anything. They don’t even have any passion for what they do. They simply produce results, and everyone hates them.”
“…Are you talking about the piano debate?”
“Well, that’s part of it.”
“But you did work hard. I can still remember how you used to tell me all about it when we were little.”
“…!”
Memories of Mah instantly erased all expression from Masachika’s face…but it wasn’t long before he smirked cynically.
“Well, I did work hard to get my parents to like me.”
“…”
“To me, piano, karate, my studies—they were a means to an end. I didn’t particularly like doing any of it, and I wasn’t putting my heart and soul into any of it, either.” All he did was diligently practice just like his teachers told him to. “I never felt troubled or distressed. I just used the talent I had to produce results…and I was praised by people who knew nothing about me. How is that supposed to make me happy?”
He immediately regretted his venomous words. He knew perfectly well that the people around him had no ill intentions. The fact that he couldn’t accept that was his own problem, and his words were nothing more than a way to vent his frustration.
“Do you have to suffer for it to be considered hard work?”
Maria’s gentle question tickled Masachika’s ear. Frowning slightly and racked with guilt, he replied cautiously.
“…Well, I think if you’re really working hard, you’re going to run into trouble, right? You have to fight against your own weaknesses and incapabilities while continuing to bravely push forward. That’s far more beautiful than the alternative, right?”
“Oh… You truly believe that.” Maria nodded before cheerfully adding, “Then I guess that means you’re working extremely hard.”
“…What?”
While the unexpected comment made him rudely wonder if she was being an airhead on purpose, Maria met his skeptical gaze head-on.
“I mean, look how distressed you are right now,” she argued.
“…!”
“You worry a lot, you suffer, and yet…you continue to push forward, right? And you’re doing it all to help Alya. Isn’t that ‘working hard’ by your definition?”
Masachika tried to deny it, but he couldn’t find the right words. He simply froze, his mouth slightly agape as Maria wrapped her arms around him.
“It’s okay. You’re working hard… You’re putting your heart and soul into this.” She had once told him something similar before. “You have nothing to worry about. You will find a way to love yourself one day.”
Her words, as gentle and considerate as ever, slipped effortlessly into his heart, making him feel miraculously lighter. He even found himself thinking that maybe she was right, with an optimism he hadn’t felt in a long time.
“…Yeah,” he whispered. Maria then gently pulled away, offering him a smile. As if drawn to her smile, he returned it with a faint grin of his own, though it was tinged with a bitterness hers lacked. “Hey, I’m sorry for always bugging you like this.”
“You’re not bothering me at all. I told you. I’m doing this because I want to. I want you to depend on me.”
Maria smiled in a carefree manner, as if it were nothing at all. It was a pure, innocent smile, like that of a girl who had never known hardship. Yet in his eyes, it was the strongest, most reassuring smile he had ever seen.
“So you don’t need to hide your pain from me. You can come to me whenever you’re hurt.” Her words carried the weight of truth, and her girlish smile took on a more mature air. “If Alya is going to lead you by the hand, then I want to be the one who gives you a push from behind when you need it.”
Suddenly, Maria’s smile merged with the memory of that girl’s, something that he couldn’t have even fathomed up until this point. Immediately, he felt a sharp pang in his chest, his heart racing wildly as he looked into her eyes.
Wh-what the…? What is this? Don’t tell me that… Huh? This can’t be happening.
Despite his desperate attempts to deny it in his head, both his heart and body were telling him the truth. This was the same thing that he had felt a few months back with Alisa…and the same thing that he had felt with that girl all those years ago.
Wait, wait, wait. Come on. Have some standards, Masachika. Then again, I guess I’m still being faithful, since Masha is technically Mah…
It dawned on him at that moment that he had unconsciously accepted that Maria = Mah, which took him by surprise. Masachika didn’t know why, but he felt as if he were finally being reunited with her for the first time, and although the woman in front of him was vastly different from the girl in his memories, he couldn’t shake the feeling that they were one and the same.
Er… Seriously?
A deep, unfamiliar emotion was welling up within Masachika, filling him with a sense of dread. He had thought he had finally moved on from his feelings for her—for Mah—so he had assumed she was a shadow of the past and that the feelings he once had for her would never resurface…but he was wrong. It was as if the ending of one chapter had led to the beginning of a new one. It was because he faced his feelings and came to terms with them that he could now recall his brilliant memories of her. Emotions he had thought were lost were now so vivid that he couldn’t understand how he had ever forgotten them…
Yep, I apologize. My first love seems to have hit me harder than I expected.
A mischievous glint appeared in Maria’s smiling eyes as she watched him wrestle with his own feelings.
“But…if it really bothers you, then there is a way you could thank me… How about a kiss on the cheek?”
“Huh?”
“You’ve never kissed me on the cheek before, right? So…?”
Maria spread her arms as if she were waiting for something, her eyes glittering with expectation while Masachika grimaced.
N-now of all times? I feel like if I kiss her now…I’m going to explode!
The situation was spiraling out of control. Not the least bit good. If Masachika allowed himself to get carried away by these intense emotions before unpacking them, then he was either going to scream or cry while being consumed by whatever was burning inside him. And he was going to do something he might regret.
But that doesn’t mean I can just run away… There has to be a way to get out of this without causing any damage…
Amid the tempestuous storm of emotions raging within him, he desperately clung to his thoughts until he suddenly recalled something from but a moment ago.
…! That’s it!
Masachika was hit with the perfect idea of how he was going to make his escape.
“All right. A little kiss on the cheek, right?” he asked with a straight face.
“Yep.”
“Okay, then.” He nodded with the most serious of expressions while lifting himself slightly off the couch. He then wrapped his arms around Maria and held her tightly, her face pressing against his chest.
Oh, gosh. This is actually… Wow.
He wanted to scream, “I missed you so much, Mah!” at the top of his lungs. Nevertheless, he somehow managed to calm himself as he embraced her for five whole seconds before letting her go.
“Did you think I was going to kiss you? Ha-ha! This is payback for what you just did to me a second ago…”
With a smug grin, he looked down at Maria but froze when he noticed her face was completely red. The expectant smile she’d had only a moment ago was nowhere to be found, replaced by a blank expression. Her big brown eyes were wide, staring down at the floor and blinking rapidly. It looked like steam was about to shoot cartoonishly out of her ears.
“Uh…”
“…!”
Her unexpected reaction made Masachika freeze, his smirk stuck in place.
“Oh, um… So…,” mumbled Maria, hastily packing up her lunch box and throwing it into her tote bag before hopping off the couch.
“I-I’m going to head to class.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Yep. See you around.”
Avoiding meeting his eyes, Maria repeated her good-bye before rushing over to the door leading to the hallway. And then, for some unknown reason, she tried to push the door open without even attempting to turn the doorknob, only to be met with resistance—to no one’s surprise but her own.
“Ah!”
Maria yelped as she bumped into the door with a thud, but without missing a beat, she opened it properly as if nothing had happened, then hurried out of the student council room. Once the door shut behind her, Masachika buried his face into the couch’s armrest once more and shouted as loudly as he could.
“Why did she react like that?!”
I—I can’t believe he did that…
Maria floated down the empty hallway, her steps light and airy and her mind still reeling from the sensation of being held by him just moments before. The feeling of his hard, broad chest against her nose and cheek, the strength of his arms as he pulled her close, almost roughly… She knew that if he had pushed her down with that much force, she wouldn’t have been able to resist. That was a man’s body. There was no denying it.
Th-that was a man…
Maria felt her face grow warmer as she put these feelings into words. It may have seemed unusual, but she had never really thought of him as a man before. To Maria, Masachika was simply an extension of her childhood friend, Sah, and because of that, her feelings for him had remained pure and innocent, just as they had been when they were young.
Hugging him or kissing him on the cheek was only natural, since she liked him. Those were merely innocent displays of affection, and while there was a bit of embarrassment, feeling fear was unthinkable. Or so she had thought.
“…”
When he embraced her, Maria couldn’t help but imagine what would come next. Faced with his overpowering strength and insistence, her heart raced with a combination of excitement and fear. She had never been so acutely aware of him as a man, and at the same time, so conscious of herself as a woman.
O-oh my gosh. I’m so embarrassed…
Maria felt deeply ashamed of her past actions now. She recalled how she’d held him closely to her chest, and when he had happened to see her in her underwear—moments she had never even considered to be sexual at all. He was Sah, after all, and even now, she expected him to simply blush, acting no different from how Sah had when they were kids.
But…maybe he wasn’t just embarrassed? M-maybe he was… t-turned on?
While Maria was aware that he found her physically attractive, she never expected him to desire her.
B-but it makes sense, right? Sah—Masachika—is a teenage boy going through puberty. He doesn’t only want to touch girls’ bodies because he’s curious about how they’re different… He…
And yet until now, she had been acting like a child, clinging to him without a second thought.
“…!!”
Suddenly, everything she had done to him seemed indecent. Maria sank to her knees at the foot of the stairs. Her heart raced as she thought about the man who he had revealed himself to be, but at the same time, she felt a pang of sadness knowing that Sah had changed.
In that moment, they had both realized a truth very different from each other’s.
“Masha really is Mah…”
“Kuze is Sah…but he isn’t Sah anymore…”
After several years, they found themselves once again back at the starting line. And standing a dozen or so meters apart, they simultaneously murmured to themselves:
““How am I supposed to act the next time we see each other?””
As they both racked their brains for answers, there was a girl a few dozen meters away from both of them…
“Ah! My sister sense is tingling! My dear brother is depressed again!”
A brother-obsessed sister, sensing something was up, started to prepare in secret.
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