CHAPTER 5
In a way, I actually do feel better.
“Are ya sure? What about your festival committee work?”
“Yeah, I won’t have to worry about that for a while, thanks to our talented upperclassmen.”
“Ha-ha! It makes sense that everything’s going smoothly, since the current student council president is working alongside last year’s president.”
It was the second day of the Autumn Heights Festival, and Masachika had invited Takeshi and Hikaru to walk around while he took a break from his festival committee responsibilities.
“Plus, the current president’s and vice president’s main job right now is to deal with the First Light Committee. In other words, everything was set up to run smoothly without them, so nobody’s going to be missing me.”
“Oh, right. The First Light Committee… I totally forgot they were coming today.”
“Do you have any idea who exactly is coming from the committee?”
“No clue. Touya and Chisaki are handling all that, and honestly, I didn’t care enough to even ask.”
“For real? ’Cause I know tons of students who are using this as a chance to get close to them.”
Takeshi observed the other students’ attractions while adding:
“I mean, check out how a lot of people decorated the entrance to their attractions. They seem desperate for attention.”
“Well, I’m just an ordinary guy who happens to be the son of a diplomat,” said Masachika, shrugging.
“I don’t know, man. Being the son of a diplomat seems like a pretty big deal to me… Plus, he’s a high-ranking bureaucrat, too, right?”
“It’s nothing special at this school, at least. Like, there are even rumors that having at least one parent with a career like that is the bare minimum you’d need to even pass this school’s entrance interview.”
“Yes… I’ve definitely heard people say that they filter candidates based on their family’s social standing and parents’ jobs.”
“And this,” joked Takeshi while repeatedly rubbing his thumb over the tip of his index and middle finger—a gesture symbolizing money—making his friends laugh bitterly.
“Yeah, no doubt. Anyway, who cares about all that? What’s important right now is that I currently don’t have any obligations.”
“Good point. Oh, hey. They’re selling rice cracker sandwiches with takoyaki inside. That sounds pretty good… What do you guys think?”
“I’m good.”
“Me too. Don’t worry about us, though. Go grab yourself one.”
“All right, I’ll be right back,” replied Hikaru before heading over to the food stall. They absentmindedly watched as he went to line up, when Takeshi suddenly grinned smugly and mumbled:
“So? How’d things go yesterday?”
“Yesterday? …You mean the trivia show?”
“No! I’m talking about what happened after that. You and Alya went on a little date, right?”
“Ohhh. I don’t know if I’d call that a date, but—hold on. You saw us? Why didn’t you say hello?”
“Well, uh… You know me,” said Takeshi ambiguously while he glanced at Hikaru.
So that’s what happened. You tried to say hello, but Hikaru stopped you, huh?
Masachika’s lips curled wryly, since he was positive that he was right.
“You don’t need to worry about bothering me, you know?”
“Yeah, but y’all looked like ya were having a really good time, so I didn’t want to interrupt. Anyway, how was it? You’re running mates, so, like…ya must be getting really close, right?”
It was a hard question to answer. Although Masachika knew how Alisa felt about him, he didn’t really have any intention of trying to take their relationship to the next level. One reason was obviously because mixing business and romance could ruin her campaign. It didn’t help that Alisa herself didn’t seem to realize that her feelings toward him were romantic, either. Put simply, they were getting closer, but their relationship had remained stagnant.
“…Well, we are getting closer, but that’s about it. We’re not dating, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“Oh…”
“What? Were you panicking because you thought I’d get a girlfriend before you?”
“What?! No! I just—!”
“Excuse me. Sorry to bother you, but…”
Takeshi looked to his side in the direction of the voice as if he couldn’t believe a girl would ever be talking to him. Masachika shifted his gaze in the same direction to find that she was a girl around their age who didn’t seem to go to their school. She was surprisingly cute, with short hair dyed a lighter color, and she was looking up at Takeshi through her eyelashes while she hesitantly asked:
“We don’t go to this school, so we were looking for someone to show us around… Do you think you could help a few of us girls from Temple Academy?”
“Huh? U-us?”
“Yes, if that’s okay with you.” The girl grinned captivatingly. The name of the school she mentioned was a relatively famous all-girls school in the area, and standing slightly in the distance were two cute girls, who seemed to be her friends from that school as well.
So that’s what’s going on here.
All it took was seeing one of the girls glancing at Hikaru for Masachika to figure it out. These three were most likely after Hikaru, but they were worried that they would offend Masachika and Takeshi if they approached the best-looking guy, so they decided to take care of the obstacles in their way while their target was gone.
“O-oh, for real? Heh…”
Takeshi grinned from ear to ear while scratching his head, clearly oblivious to their true intentions. Lovestruck, he goofily checked out each of the three girls one by one, lacking any subtlety, then turned to Masachika, as if all the newfound popularity were a burden. However, after that, he faced the girl and slapped his hands together before his face.
“I’m really sorry, because you have no idea how happy you just made me, and it’s an honor you would even ask, but we all have girlfriends, and we don’t want them to kill us in a jealous rage later, so we just can’t. I’m really sorry!”
“Huh? Oh… Well, I totally understand…”
The girl seemed taken by surprise as she blinked with a blank expression for a few moments before returning to her friends in bewilderment. After watching them discuss something before wandering off, Masachika turned to his friend, who still had his hands clasped together before his face.
“Since when did you get a girlfriend?”
“Come on, man. Give me a break. I couldn’t think of any other way to let them down easy.”
“Well, I think you made the right decision…but are you sure you didn’t want to show them around?”
“D-damn it all! Of course I wanted to show them around! That was my only chance of ever having a harem, and now it’s gone!”
“Uh…”
Masachika was confused for more than one reason, but there was no way he could tell his friend that. After that, Takeshi continued to hold his head while writhing in agony until he eventually sighed and went limp.
“But Hikaru wouldn’t be comfortable hanging out with three girls he doesn’t know, and, well…you didn’t seem too excited about the idea, either, right?”
“Yeah, I guess…”
“Right? So I’m fine with this. Besides, I probably wouldn’t have been able to show them a good time, even if I did agree to show them around,” he stressed, each breath tainted with a hint of regret, but it was because of this that Masachika realized once again what a great person Takeshi was.
I mean, I already knew he was a really good guy, but still… I just hope he’s rewarded for it one day.
It was a mystery as to why a guy this considerate still didn’t have a girlfriend, and it made Masachika really feel how unfair the world truly was. Only a few moments went by before Hikaru returned with his rice cracker sandwich stuffed with takoyaki.
“Sorry to keep you guys waiting… Uh… What happened to Takeshi?”
“…He’s just cursing his poor luck.”
“…? What?”
A thud suddenly echoed nearby, followed by the surprised gasp of a flustered girl. When Masachika glanced in the direction of the noise, he found a girl with a plastic basket anxiously watching bouncy balls spilling out of it. She must have bumped into something that caused a few balls to spill out. Some hit the legs of random people walking by, while others hit the ground and began to bounce away in every direction.
“That sucks.”
Masachika hesitated for a few moments, unable to decide if he should go help.
She’s kind of far from where I’m standing, though, so even if I go try to help her now… Besides, she probably doesn’t even care that she lost a few, so helping her pick them up might even bother her. So—
“Hold this for me.”
“…!”
Hikaru dropped his food into Masachika’s hands, then rushed to the girl’s aid without even a second of hesitation. After grabbing each ball in sight, he headed over to nearby stalls and checked underneath them, readily crawling on all fours to retrieve any balls he could find. He didn’t even seem to care that he was getting his hands and knees dirty. By the time Masachika and Takeshi caught up with him, he had already basically finished picking up every last bouncy ball on his own.
“Th-thank you so much. I really mean that.”
“It’s no problem. Take care.”
Hikaru almost seemed troubled as he waved good-bye to the apologetic, bowing girl.
“You see that, Takeshi? That’s what makes you popular with the ladies,” Masachika advised sagely.
“Tsk! There’s no way I can compete with that…”
“What? I’m not doing this to be popular…”
“We know. We’re talking about how you went to help without a second thought. Impressive stuff, to say the least.”
Hikaru seemed once again troubled as Masachika showered him with unreserved praise. Hikaru was always like this. While most people would worry about helping someone who might not want to be helped, or about embarrassing themselves, Hikaru wouldn’t hesitate to extend a helping hand, even if it meant helping a girl—when he was not particularly fond of girls. Unlike most people, he actually believed in helping others in times of need. He was too kind a person for this world.
Sigh… They’re too nice. Both of them.
They were friends Masachika could be proud of, and he couldn’t have asked for more. He could truly admit that from the bottom of his heart…and that was exactly why he wasn’t going to let anyone hurt them. There were some things that he couldn’t allow to just be forgiven and forgotten.
“…Well, it looks like I should get going.”
“Oh, all right. See you at rehearsal, then.”
“Enjoy work.”
“Thanks.”
After the three checked out the festival for forty or so minutes, Masachika had to say good-bye. He began heading toward the clubroom building, but he didn’t step inside. Instead, he went around to the back, where there were no exhibits or stalls, which meant the only reason to be there was if you were lost. However, standing under a large tree that couldn’t be seen, even if you looked out the window, was someone waiting for him. Hanging their head low was a girl wearing her hat pulled down low, covering her eyes.
“Nao, hey,” greeted Masachika in a flat voice as he approached her. It was an indifferent greeting, unlike something you would say to someone you were on friendly terms with, like, “Sorry to keep you waiting,” or “Sorry for asking you to meet me here like this.” The girl glared back at him without any desire to play nice either.
“…What do you want?” asked the girl, Nao Shiratori, coldly. She was a former student at Seirei Academy who transferred to a new school right before the second semester, and she’d been the lead singer in the band Luminous with Takeshi and Hikaru up until only a month ago. She was also the one responsible for the band breaking up when she decided to unleash hell on her way out.
“What were you even thinking, using something like this to ask me to meet you here?”
Her unfriendly attitude remained while she pulled a single envelope from her pocket. It was the letter that Masachika had given her former homeroom teacher to pass on to her. The fact of the matter was that Masachika had been searching for Nao ever since she left, because there was something about how she broke up the band that had been bothering him. Unfortunately, however, when she changed schools, she also changed her phone number and deleted her social media accounts, which made it impossible to get in touch with her at all. He couldn’t even find out what had happened to her through any of his connections. It was as if she had disappeared into thin air.
Therefore, he came up with a plan and went to the only person he knew who could possibly get in touch with her: Nao’s former homeroom teacher. After Masachika passionately convinced the teacher that he wanted to give Nao a letter after her sudden disappearance, the teacher respected his wishes and delivered said letter. Given that, however, the letter was neither a love letter nor a farewell letter. In fact, the letter was no longer than a single sentence and an invitation to the Autumn Heights Festival.
“I mean, seriously? ‘If you don’t come, I’m going to tell everyone in Luminous the truth’? What’s that supposed to mean?”
She glared at him more after reading the letter, but her anger was met with a cold stare and a shrug.
“You know better than anyone what that means. That’s why you came, right?”
“…”
They locked eyes as if they were trying to read the other for a while after that. From what Masachika had heard from Takeshi, the band broke up because Nao told the bassist—Ryuuichi Kasugano—who she was dating at the time, that she was basically settling for him and was actually in love with Hikaru. The news obviously shattered Ryuuichi’s heart, and their keyboardist, who was also Nao’s childhood friend, Riho Minase, was so sickened by the news that both of them ended up leaving the band. Of course, Masachika didn’t see any of this firsthand, so he didn’t know how accurate any of the details were…but it was because he was an outsider that he knew this was a blatant lie.
“You’re not in love with Hikaru.”
“…!”
Nao’s lips twisted, and her brow puckered, which only made Masachika even more sure he was right. She claimed to be in love with Hikaru after Riho revealed that Nao always had a crush on someone in Luminous. When Masachika spoke to Riho after the band had broken up, she told him that Nao was the last of the five members to join the band, and when she asked Nao why she decided to join, Nao apparently said it was because she had a crush on one of the members.
Although Riho didn’t seem to notice, Masachika immediately figured it out. Nao was trying to keep Riho in check. If she simply wanted to join the band for fun, then she could have just said that she wanted to be in a band with Riho, but the fact that she didn’t do that and claimed she had a crush on someone made it sound as if she was trying to prevent Riho from dating someone, and what happened after that seemed to point to that someone being Ryuuichi. At any rate, common sense would suggest that childhood friends falling in love with the same person was nothing out of the ordinary. However…
According to Ryuuichi…that was far from the truth.
Apparently, Nao didn’t really seem to like him much at all during the beginning of the relationship. Was she just shy? But even then, being this passive still seemed strange for someone who was willing to do whatever she needed to keep Riho away from him. In other words, it wasn’t Ryuuichi she was trying to keep all to herself…
“You’re in love with—”
“Stop,” Nao barked sternly, cutting him off, albeit to no avail.
“No, I’m not going to stop.”
He flat-out ignored her demand, then took a step closer and conclusively declared:
“You don’t have feelings for Hikaru or Ryuuichi. You’re in love with Riho.”
“…!!”
Her eyes went wide and her rage was clear, but Masachika continued to boldly deduce:
“You started dating Ryuuichi because you knew that Riho had feelings for him, and you joined Luminous because you didn’t want to lose her. Am I wrong?”
Nao opened her mouth to reply to his confident accusation, but she couldn’t seem to find the right words, opening and closing her mouth multiple times before lowering her gaze. Silence followed for a while after that until her shoulders began to shake, as if she couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“…You’re right,” she growled eventually. It was as if those words had destroyed the dam that had been keeping her emotions from bursting out. “Are you happy?! Yes, I’m in love with Riho! And I’ve been in love with her for years! I’ve been protecting her ever since we were kids! She was always my favorite person in the world, and I was always hers! And yet…! And yet…!”
Her voice trembled through her clenched teeth as she furiously glared at her feet. She then kicked the toe of her shoe into the ground, her chest trembling while she screamed:
“And yet she fell in love with Ryuuichi! She said she was afraid of boys! So why…? Why—?!”
“…And that’s why you started going out with Ryuuichi even though you didn’t really like him?”
“Yes! I’d rather do that than let someone take her away—than let her be defiled by some guy!
This was the twisted…yet pure love of a girl for her female childhood friend. After she roared like a rampaging beast, her lips twisted into a frown as she fought back tears. Was it sadness? Regret?
“But after I started dating Ryuuichi, he ended up being a really great guy… He was so sweet, despite me being this way. He loved me despite it all…so I understood why Riho fell in love with him, too…”
A tear escaped her right eye and rolled down her cheek. But after she wiped her tear away, she continued through her sobbing:
“Riho never changes, either. She is always so sweet. She even told me that she would be cheering us on, with the biggest smile on her face…even though she was the one that liked him first… Both Ryuuichi and Riho are the nicest people in the world, and yet I’m nothing more than a liar. All I did was hurt them…! And I’m the only one to blame! But it doesn’t matter anymore…!”
Masachika closed his eyes as he listened to her painfully recall everything that had happened while covering her face with both hands. There was no way for him to know how unbearable it must have been to continue living a lie and deceiving those who cared about you most. At first, it was nothing more than a tiny fib that Nao used so that nobody would steal the love of her life away from her, but the more she tried to keep up the lie, the more lies she had to tell. It wasn’t long until her life was but a web of lies slowly trapping her loving, good-natured bandmates. Behind every one of her smiles was pain and regret. She must have been so disappointed in herself, until that disappointment transformed into self-hatred.
And when that secret of hers was about to get out and expose her for who she really was, she decided to lie one last time. She claimed that she was in love with Hikaru so that nobody would ever find out her greatest secret of all: She was in love with Riho.
I guess I can’t really blame her for why she did it, though…
Nao wanted to protect her love for Riho more than anything else. It was a secret she was willing to take to the grave, and she was even willing to offer herself to a boy she didn’t love to do so. Therefore, Masachika didn’t have the heart to reprimand her.
They often say that people’s true nature is revealed at times of greatest adversity, but Masachika didn’t find this to be true. At times of greatest adversity, it wasn’t their true nature but their instincts that were revealed. These were fundamental instincts for self-preservation that all living creatures had, which were twisted by reason and logic, and there probably weren’t that many people who could actually prioritize others over themselves when it came to instinct. That was why Masachika couldn’t truly blame Nao for lying when she had her back up against a wall. But even then…
“What about the four people you left behind?”
“…!”
But even then, he couldn’t just allow all of this to be swept under the rug.
“You ran away, so you might be fine, but the others still haven’t gotten over what happened.”
“…”
That was probably the last thing Nao wanted to hear. Masachika knew that, and yet he still forced her to face reality.
“Ryuuichi and Riho stopped coming to the music club after school, and they haven’t talked to Hikaru once since all of that happened. Hikaru’s trying not to think about them, either, but to be honest, it’s hard to watch. They used to be so close, and now they’re acting like they don’t even know each other.”
“…?! But…”
“I heard Takeshi has been trying to talk to Ryuuichi and Riho lately, but they’ve apparently been avoiding him. Although he’s still acting like his usual self when he’s around others, he’s honestly pretty exhausted. I mean, you know how he always puts his friends first.”
“…”
Nao hung her head low in silence for a few moments before softly muttering:
“How’s Riho?”
Figured Riho would be her first priority, thought Masachika before he bluntly told her the truth.
“You know the kind of person she is, too. She never had that many friends to begin with, so now that she’s not practicing with the band, she’s completely alone. She looks depressed every day in class, she never talks to anyone, and she goes straight home once school’s over.”
“…!”
Nao bit her lip, still looking at the ground.
“Don’t tell me you thought that Riho and Ryuuichi would get together once you were out of the picture?” asked Masachika.
“…!!”
“You know Ryuuichi. He isn’t the kind of guy who’d make Riho his rebound, and Riho—”
“I know! Okay?!”
Nao quickly lifted her head back up with a furious glare.
“What is your problem?! You don’t know us! This has nothing to do with you! Who do you think you are?!”
Those words were like a bucket of ice water being poured onto Masachika, making him reflect on his actions until it suddenly hit him.
Wait. Why am I trying to make her feel bad?
He told himself that he didn’t have the heart to blame her, but before he knew it, he was saying all the wrong things. Even though he was only planning on telling her the truth, somewhere during it all, he more or less started to reprimand her in a roundabout way, and the fact that he only noticed that now horrified him.
What am I doing? This isn’t what I wanted to say to her…
Masachika lowered his gaze, reset his brain, then began to search for the words he actually wanted to say to her.
“…This really is none of my business. I’m not a member of Luminous, and I don’t have any right to tell you what to do.”
“…”
“But you know what? I don’t think you should just leave things how they are now. This isn’t good for any of you.”
“…! Ngh…!”
Nao quickly looked away while gritting her teeth.
“Are you really okay with how things ended? Are you okay with them never knowing it was all a misunderstanding?”
“…”
“As someone who once didn’t get a proper good-bye, let me tell you this: You’ll start to forget about all of the good times you had together. Every happy memory will be spoiled by how you said good-bye.”
Up until just a short while ago, Masachika had sealed away his memories of Mah as if they were all negative, and he deeply regretted that because he now knew that it was all just a misunderstanding.
Once again, I guess I’m in no position to lecture anyone about this.
After Masachika had calmed down, he was overcome with disappointment in himself. He turned on his heel, and while knowing this was none of his business, he added:
“Like I said, I wasn’t a member of your band or even a part of your group, so I don’t know what kind of people you are or what kind of relationships you had, so I’m not telling you that you have to do anything… But if you don’t fix things, Luminous is just going to turn into a bad memory for all of you, especially Ryuuichi and Riho.”
Masachika didn’t even look back as he walked away. He headed straight to the clubroom building after that and started to walk up the stairs, higher and higher in an attempt to get away from it all. Before long, he even walked over the chains blocking the last set of stairs and made his way to the landing, where he placed his back against the wall, then slid down to his rear.
“Sigh…”
A deep sigh escaped him.
“…What was I being so critical for?”
But he already knew the answer to that. He was mad at her for hurting Takeshi and Hikaru. Of course, he truly believed that Luminous shouldn’t break up due to a misunderstanding, and that was also why he felt that he needed to convince Nao to talk to them one last time. He didn’t regret that.
What bothered him was the fact that he was harsher to Nao than he needed to be and ended up hurting her. Masachika, who wasn’t even a part of their group, took out his anger on her when maybe that should have been Takeshi’s or Hikaru’s job, since they were the ones who actually got hurt.
“…I was trying to be calm.”
But he wasn’t calm. She had hurt two of his best friends, and ever since then, the fury inside of him smoldered until it burst into flames that fueled his aggression.
I essentially sent her a threatening letter, then exposed her for her lies, even though she told me to stop… Was that really necessary? Or did I actually just want to hurt her to give her a taste of her own medicine for what she did to Takeshi and Hikaru?
The way she glared at Masachika and the words she said suddenly came back to haunt him, making him clench his jaw. The regret and feelings of self-loathing were overwhelming, for those feelings were all he had right now.
“‘Who do you think you are?’ Heh. You can say that again. Who do I think I am, telling others how to fix their relationships?”
Somebody had to do it…would have been a heroic thing to say, but that wasn’t the kind of person Masachika was. If he didn’t do anything, then memories of what happened would have faded along with the flow of time until they were no more. Masachika’s ego was what made him dig up a buried memory of the past and expose what was inside it. It wasn’t as if anyone had asked him to do it. He just thought this would be the right thing to do. That was it…but now he was starting to realize that maybe he shouldn’t have meddled.
Maybe those five band members would have eventually worked out their issues on their own…just like how fate brought Masachika and Maria back together and allowed them to straighten out a misunderstanding from years ago. If the members of Luminous really did have an unbreakable bond, then…
Yeah, that’s the issue here! Nao might just be a stranger to me, but she’s Takeshi’s and Hikaru’s friend!
Realizing that he had hurt a friend of a friend made him even more depressed.
Sigh… Dammit. I hate myself so much that I want to die… I need to apologize to Nao later.
His mind had drifted into a spiral of negativity, making him clutch his head before dropping onto his side on the ground. The regret began eating at his soul while he continued to curl into a ball—
“Kuze?”
…A voice, which he shouldn’t be hearing, echoed from the bottom of the staircase, making Masachika sit straight up in a fluster. There, his eyes met Maria’s, peeking up the stairs from the landing below, and his heart leaped out of his chest.
“Wh-what the…? What are you doing here, Masha?”
“I just happened to be walking by when I saw you, and you seemed really upset…so I followed you,” she revealed with a worried note as she walked up the stairs, took a seat next to him, and turned toward him with a worried gaze.
“Are you okay? Did something happen?”
Masachika returned her genuine concern with silence. But even then, Maria didn’t rush him, gently wrapping her hand around his clenched fist in his lap, and the comforting, gentle sensation warmed his cold heart.
“I hurt someone,” he softly muttered, still grimacing.
“Oh? Why?”
“Because she hurt my friends… No, that’s not it.” He shook his head. “I was angry that my friends got hurt, and I took out my anger on her without even talking to them. I know she had a reason for what she did, and yet…I let my anger get the best of me and hurt someone who was already hurting more than enough.”
After getting all of that out in one breath, he smirked in a self-deprecating manner.
“So right now, I’m just kind of disappointed in myself. I messed up. Anyway, I’ll be back to normal once I get tired of beating myself up over it, so don’t worry about me,” he jokingly added, but Maria’s expression was completely serious while she gazed into his eyes. She then slowly got up on her knees and tightly wrapped her arms around his head.
“There, there.”
She gently rubbed his head, furthering his confusion.
“…What? Wh-why are you hugging me?”
“Because you’re hurt, and I want you to feel better.”
“Uh…? Were you even listening to me? I’m the bad guy here. I should feel bad. I let my emotions get the best of me, and I ended up hurting someone, so…”
“So you don’t deserve to be consoled?”
“…!”
Her sweet voice rendered him speechless.
“Oh, Kuze.” She sighed and smiled softly, as if she could tell by his reaction that she had hit the nail on the head.
“You would feel that way, wouldn’t you? But you know what? What you think you deserve doesn’t matter right now!”
“…O-oh,” grunted Masachika, overwhelmed by her confidence. It was as if she was saying, “What do you think about that?” as she did things her own way.
“How you feel about this isn’t what’s important right now! I’m doing this because I want to spoil you and give you all the affection in the world!”
“O-oh…”
There was no way he could argue with a declaration like that.
I guess if Masha wants to do this, then who am I to stop her?
Apathetic resignation filled his heart while he spaced out, but Maria continued to gently rub his head.
“You’ve always been this way, haven’t you? It’s like you don’t think you deserve the affection of others.”
“…”
Her sharp remark pierced him. She was right, after all. In Masachika’s mind, he didn’t deserve to be treated with kindness, especially after forcing his sister to deal with all that hardship alone while he was living the life of a lazy, no-good degenerate.
“Whenever I see you like this, it’s heart-wrenching. It makes me so sad, and I just want to hold you in my arms and shower you with all the affection in the world.”
“…Uh-huh,” grunted Masachika, but Maria smiled as if she could once again see right through his act and knew he was only trying to hide his embarrassment.
“If you can’t forgive yourself, then I want to forgive you. If you want to hurt yourself, then I want to protect you from yourself.”
Maria softly rubbed his head as if to prove she meant what she said.
“Don’t ask me why, though, okay? Because you’ve always meant so much to me…ever since we met at that park when we were kids…so don’t pretend to be stronger than you are. You don’t have to suffer alone. Because I understand you.”
Yeah, she…
Maybe she did really get it. Maybe she understood how weak Masachika really was. Maybe she knew of all his flaws and mistakes. Maybe she understood everything about him and still decided to embrace him with love.
“…Yeah.”
“Yep.”
“Yeah…”
“…Yep.”
There didn’t seem to be much communication happening between them, and yet Masachika knew that she understood exactly what he wanted to say, so he closed his eyes and surrendered himself to her embrace. There was no telling how much time went by after that, but when he eventually calmed down a little, he opened his eyes and muttered:
“I feel like I’ve been allowing myself to be coddled by you almost my entire life.”
“Hmm? Really?”
“Yeah… I’ve been too dependent on your kindness.”
Ever since they’d reunited at the park, Masachika had been occasionally having flashbacks of all the times they spent together. In each memory, Masha was always so cheerful, affectionate, and warm… She was Sah’s savior—his everything. That was what Masachika genuinely believed now.
“Oh… But this goes both ways, you know? Sah was so sweet to me and made me feel so good.”
“Ha-ha! Oh, really?”
“Really. I can’t even count all of the sweet things he did for me.”
But Masachika was sure that he hadn’t done even half of what she did for him.
I never kept my promise to her, either…
He thought back to last month, when he remembered an old promise he’d made with Mah, filling him with regret.
Maybe it’s still not too late…? No, it’s way too late. Besides, I’m obviously not going to be anywhere as good as I used to be.
Maria’s arms around him tightened even more, as if she could feel the weight of his sadness…but Masachika couldn’t help feeling embarrassed.
“Hey, uh… Maybe it’s about time we… You know?”
“Hmm? Why? I’ll hold you for as long as you want me to.”
“This position’s a little…”
You could say that the heavy load on his shoulder was really getting to him and that he had the happiest right ear in the world that was perfectly positioned to feel Maria’s heartbeat.
“Ah…”
Maria’s expression was somewhat troubled yet just as bashful as she let go of her embrace and gave him some space, realizing what Masachika was hinting at.
“Oh, Kuze…”
“Sorry.”
“Mmm… Well, you are a boy, so I guess it just can’t be helped. ♪”
She spread her arms out like a goddess, her smile brimming with compassion.
“I don’t mind if it’s you, Kuze. Come here.”
“Wh-what? I, uh…”
“Oh, right. You don’t feel like you deserve others’ kindness. I guess that means I’ll have to go over there myself. ♪”
“Wait—!”
He leaned back in surprise for a split second before she seized his head with both arms, and it was at that moment that Masachika knew the brute force known as motherly love.
“…Well, that was…incredible.”
After being drowned in Maria’s motherly love, Masachika began to head to the music room with trembling legs. The band was about to have its final rehearsal before the show…but he couldn’t really even think about that right now. Any regret or feelings of self-loathing that he may have had were gone. It was so incredible that it sucked all the energy right out of him.
How is Masha so full of life anyway…?
While Masachika was utterly exhausted, Maria seemed to be overflowing with energy when they said their good-byes in front of the stairwell. Was she somehow able to relieve some stress from fulfilling her desire to shower someone with love?
Oh gosh… Don’t tell me that’s going to happen every time Masha notices I’m depressed? If she keeps doing that, then eventually…things could get messy.
He was instantly swept by a mysterious sense of danger as a chill shot down his spine until, out of nowhere, he suddenly made eye contact with Yuki at the end of the hallway.
“Yuki…”
“Masachika…?”
He straightened and tried to pretend like everything was all right, but Yuki knit her brow skeptically, then approached him briskly with a practiced smile.
“There you are.”
“Huh?”
“We received an additional request for renting some school equipment, so I was wondering if you could help me.”
“O-oh, okay.”
Awed by her unbreakable smile, Masachika helplessly followed Yuki to the storehouse. Their journey was in almost complete silence until she unlocked the door, stepped inside, and made sure there was nobody else there. Immediately, she sprinted back toward Masachika, grabbed his arms, and peered closely at her brother’s face as her expression inexplicably clouded with urgency.
“Masachika, are you okay?! Do you need me to use the Happiness Beam on you?!”
“No.”
“I-Wuv-You Beeeam!!”
“I said no!”
After a sweet older woman showered him with love, a sweet younger girl showered him with love as well. It was a combination of kindness that really helped Masachika feel like everything was going to be okay.
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