The Greatest Demon Lord Is Reborn as a Typical Nobody - Volume 1 - Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

The Ex–Demon Lord and Girl Trouble, Part II

“Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wha…?!” Ireena sputtered, eyes agape at our madness as her entire body quivered. Her face was flushed bright red.

For an inexplicable reason, her outfit was also extreme: She was in a white bikini top with a blue miniskirt—so short that her black thong was easily visible.

Why is she dressed like that? I wondered… But that was clearly a question for another time, since I needed to devote my full attention to something else entirely.

“What do you think you’re doiiiiiiing?!”

How can I deescalate her explosive rage? I thought as Ireena let out a mighty roar and closed the distance between us, her silver hair trailing after her in a blur as she tackled Ginny and ripped her off me.

“Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! Ard, you’re so stupid!” she shrieked, riding on top of me in place of Ginny and pummeling her fists into my face.

The sweet objections of a young maiden? Yeah, right. This was way too punishing for that. She continued to strike me from a mounted position with enough force to make a martial arts master go pale. Her punches freakin’ hurt.

“Gwah! Uwagh! Argh! I-Ireena, please calm… Blargh?!”

“Uwaaaaaaaaagh! Ard, you stupid dummyyyyyyy!” Ireena cried as a fountain of tears poured from her blue eyes.

Ginny approached this spectacle from behind. “How uncouth. You know, this is gonna make him hate you.”

With that, Ireena’s entire body shuddered, and her fists stopped in midair—which Ginny grabbed, pinning her arms behind her back and tearing her away from me.

Then Ginny fixed her eyes on Ireena. “Think back, Miss Ireena. What are you here to do in the first place?”

“I—I came…because I wanted to make up with Ard… I’ve been really mean to him lately… But I didn’t want him to not like me anymore…,” Ireena trailed off uncomfortably.

“Ohhh? I seeee… And I’m assuming this outfit of yours is part of your little plan to make up?”

“Y-yeah! It’s all because his mom, Carla, told me that b-boys will do anything if you wear s-s-s-s-sexy clothing!”

…Oh, Mother. What have you been indoctrinating my precious girl with?

“And then, um… I think she said that we’d both feel really good and make up if we did something… I think it started with the letter S! And so I’m here to do that thing with Ard!”

…I’ll have to chat with my mother sometime soon.

“I see, I see… By the way, Miss Ireena, how do you do that ‘thing’?”

“Th-that’s, uh… A-Ard will teach me!”

“…Pfft (lol)!”

“Wha—?! What’s so funny?!”

“Oh, nothing. I was just thinking that your childish naïveté makes you so charming. That’s all. I mean, you’re how old? And you don’t know anything about this? Really? You’re so innocent!”

“Grrr…! Listen up! I know you’re making fun of me! First off! This all happened because you made moves on Ard! Ever since you got super-cozy with him, I can’t even sit still! I’ve been able to bear it up until this point! But now! It makes my blood boil to see these girls around him!”

“Yikes. As a lady, I can’t believe you’re blaming your shortcomings on others.”

“A lady? What about you is ladylike?! Y-you’re wearing th-th-th-that o-obscene outfit!”

Sparks flew between the two girls.

Ireena was flushed red with anger, staring daggers with her eyes. “Fine! Let’s settle this with a duel! I’ll wipe the floor with you at the battle event!”

“Ooooh, you’re sooo wild! …Then again, I guess I’m sometimes a little wild, too,” Ginny admitted with a fierce look in her eyes. “Okay. I accept your challenge. I mean, I’m gonna win anyway.”

“You sure talk big…! In that case, swear you’ll never go near Ard again if you lose!”

“Fine, fine, I promise. To sweeten the deal, I’ll even offer to do a lap around the capital—buck naked. But if you lose, you gotta do it, too.”

“Bring it on! I’ll do a hundred laps without a shred of clothing! And I’ll eat a meat pie through my nose!”

Their hair bristled as they declared war on each other. I would joke, What troubled times! but it clearly wasn’t the time or the place for that. I guess I was so worried that I was about to engage in some serious escapism.

But I couldn’t bear the idea of seeing these two hurt each other, so I squashed down my anxieties and fears.

“P-please calm down, both of you!”

Two sets of eyes glared at me at once. The pressure was mounting, and this was honestly scarier than fighting some of the “champions” out there. But I couldn’t back down now.

To establish some semblance of hierarchy between us, I held back the serious urge to grovel and mustered up my courage.

“You two! Sit on your heels, now!” I barked, trying my best to look as ticked off as possible.

It apparently worked, as a shiver ran down their bodies like they were scolded puppies. Their anger seemed to dissolve out of them completely, replaced with fear, as they sat down before me.

“What’s this business about a duel?! Nothing about this is grounds to hurt or hate each other! I absolutely forbid you from dueling! Apologize to each other and make up! Otherwise, no food for you!” I commanded, feeling like a pet owner all the while.

The two mumbled a bit but raised no objections and turned toward each other.

“I-I’m sorry for snapping at you, Ginny.”

“I—I apologize as well. I got carried away and went too far.”

The two shook hands, remaining seated on the ground as they apologized to each other. I knew these two were good, honest kids at heart. This was why I liked them.

Now that this is settled…

“I heard everything!”

A trespasser flamboyantly kicked down the door into the room, and our eyes all turned at once to see a platinum blonde with locks that reached all the way down to the floor. With delicate and dollish features, the intruder was none other than our teacher Jessica.

Her hands planted on her hips as she flashed us a grin, thrusting out her big chest. “If you can’t have a duel, have at it during the battle event.”

…I had a bad feeling about this. I began to sweat as I let the situation reach its natural conclusion.

“But Ard won’t be in it,” Ireena objected.

“If he’s not gonna participate, I have no desire to do so, either.”

“All right, I get that you’re not all for it. But be the tiniest bit flexible and participate in the event,” Jessica urged, pausing for a brief moment before delivering her final line, which went far beyond my wildest imagination: “It’s part of Operation: Instructor Ard.”

After a few moments of muted shock, I managed to find my voice, trembling with disbelief. “Wha—?! Wh-what are you talking about?!”

“Can’t you tell by the name? The role of a student isn’t enough for you, meaning you should become an instructor… That’s what the headmaster said.”

What the hell, ya old geezer?

“That said…we’re facing a lot of opposition, particularly with the aristocratic instructors. They’re all saying there’s no way they’d ever recognize a commoner child as a fellow teacher, and they won’t even try to listen to us.”

Great job, guys. Keep it up.

“But we’ll be able to win them over if we have suitable achievements. This is where the battle event comes in. Ard has personally trained the two of you. If you win, it’ll be proof of his prowess as a teacher and give us the opening this operation needs.”

Ginny and Ireena nodded in complete agreement.

“With all that said, will you two join the event?” she appealed to the girls, who were looking like they were seriously mulling this over.

This isn’t good. Not good at all. Operation: Instructor Ard? There was no way I could let that happen. If I became an instructor, I’d end up spending even more time around Olivia. Meaning I’d see her dazzling smile all the damn time. That was the last thing I wanted, so I figured I’d give these two a stern warning.

“I’ve mentioned this time and time again: Magic exists to help those in need or to stay true to your principles, not to flaunt your power before the masses. The battle event directly opposes these beliefs, which is why—”

Ireena and Ginny assumed very serious expressions.

Excellent. This obnoxious operation is as good as done. Wow, these two are honest, upright—

“…Hey, you two. Don’t you want to see Ard looking all cool in the instructor’s uniform?” Jessica piped up.

““I do!”” they replied.

…Yep, honest, upright girls… Greediness and all.

“No, um, I never agreed to—”

“If I’m gonna participate, I’m definitely gonna win!”

“Wait just a—”

“Heh-heh-heh. I won’t lose to you, Miss Ireena.”

“I’m telling you, my—”

““I’ll fight you head-on!”” they shouted, shaking on it as heated rivals and trailing after Jessica to leave the room.

It was like I wasn’t even there.

…Oh geez, I could really use a good cry or two.

“Ha-ha-ha. I guess popular boys have it rough, eh?” Jessica gave me a few hearty slaps on my back with a cheerful look. “Oh, the battle event can’t come soon enough. And I mean it,” she murmured, keeping her usual smile plastered on her face.

It must be my imagination.

But for some reason, I could swear there was something wicked lurking under her grin.