Tate no Yuusha no Nariagari (LN) - Volume 18 - Chapter Pr

Prologue: The Meeting to Discuss Efficient Eating Enhancement 

“Hey, the food is ready!” 
“Oh God . . .” L’Arc looked at the food I laid out on the table and pressed his hands to his mouth as he made a burping sound. I wasn’t especially impressed with his reaction—he almost made it look like I was trying to poison him! 
“I hate to say it, Mr. Naofumi, but this is making for a pretty big breakfast,” Raphtalia objected. 
“What are you talking about? You will—quite literally—not grow up big and strong if you don’t eat up!” I reminded her. 
In that moment we were in Kizuna’s world, eating breakfast in the refectory in L’Arc’s castle. Everyone gathered there—with just a few exceptions—had pretty sickly expressions on their faces. 
“You should be taking notes from Filo, S’yne, and the killer whale sisters,” I commented. 
“More food! More food!” Filo was chanting. 
“This really is delicious,” S’yne added. 
“More food this morning! Any chance I can get a drink with this?” Sadeena asked. 
“I’d love some of those snacks from yesterday . . .” Shildina said. Those four basically sucked up everything placed in front of them. If only everyone in the group were so gluttonous! 
“You were practically force-feeding us last night, and now you want us to eat more?” Glass said, also looking a bit green around the gills. 
“I think having any kind of appetite left after dinner last night is the issue here,” Raphtalia opined. 
“Raph!” Raph-chan agreed. Even she didn’t seem very hungry. I pondered for a moment. This was definitely an issue we were going to have to resolve in order to enhance the strength of everyone across the board. 
“Then shall I make my morning performance one to enhance digestion and promote hunger?” Itsuki stood up and started to play the instrument in his hands. 
“Fehhh!” Rishia exclaimed. “Itsuki! Please, don’t do that!” 
“Rishia, if we aren’t greedy about getting stronger, we won’t survive the trials that lie ahead,” Itsuki chided her. 
“I understand your reasoning, but, Mr. Naofumi . . . please, just give us some more time.” Even Raphtalia was asking me to hold back. It was starting to feel more and more like I was torturing my allies rather than just feeding them. 
“Hmmm. You weaklings leave me no choice. I’ll just go make some more while you rest up,” I decided. Glass gave an audible gasp at my words. 
“I had no idea it was possible to kill people using food, without the use of poison,” she exclaimed. 
“Please don’t make me sound like some kind of serial killer!” I retorted, unable to stop myself from responding. 
There was a reason why I was piling all these dishes so high with food. Quite a long and complicated reason, actually. But if I were to provide an abridged version . . . after we defeated Takt, a beaten and battered Ethnobalt had appeared from Kizuna’s world, seeking our help. Three holy heroes in Kizuna’s world had been killed. Kizuna herself survived. Her remaining allies were in a pretty sticky situation. 
During our troubles with Takt, Raphtalia’s katana vassal weapon sent her to Kizuna’s world. So to come rescue Raphtalia, I had crossed over to this world with a party that included Itsuki and some of my other companions. 
After that, we had become embroiled in a conflict with the Musical Instrument Hero, Miyaji, a vanguard of the waves. We had faced him, Bitch, Itsuki’s former party member Armor, and S’yne’s sworn enemies from her own world in a big battle. To make matters worse, the holy weapons in Kizuna’s world had been captured, and our enemies had access to a mysterious power that sealed away the holy weapons from our world—my shield and Itsuki’s bow—as well as our magic. 
Amid these dire circumstances, the mirror vassal weapon lent me its strength and I became the Mirror Hero. I was ultimately able to use that power to defeat Miyaji and also successfully rescue Kizuna. Itsuki was even chosen by the musical instrument vassal weapon after it was released from Miyaji. 
It wasn’t all good news, however. We failed to capture Bitch, Itsuki’s former party member Armor, and S’yne’s older sister, who had been among the forces from S’yne’s world. There was also the issue of three of the four holy weapons from Kizuna’s world still being held by the enemy. 
We clearly had more battles ahead. It turned out that the mirror vassal weapon housed the ability to boost stats via eating, using a separate kind of experience. So in order to prepare for these battles, I have been stuffing everyone with as much food as possible. They had to understand the reasons why—just eating any food was enough to earn experience, but the food that I made was the most efficient. Bonus experience and imbued abilities—just eating could provide things like a permanent plus 1 to magic. It makes total sense that I would stuff them like prize turkeys. 
“Shall we get into the main topic for today?” Glass suggested with a pretty serious expression on her face as she sat at the table. I’d been told that the treatment Kizuna was receiving—who had been turned to stone—was going to finish either today or tomorrow, so maybe that was what Glass wanted to talk about. 
“You mean how we can’t possibly eat so much of kiddo’s food efficiently enough without our stomachs popping like balloons?” L’Arc quipped. I couldn’t tell if L’Arc was trying to make a joke or not. 
“Whatever are you talking about?” I snapped at him. This from a guy who had three shades of snot beaten out of him by a vanguard of the waves, Bitch, and S’yne’s sworn enemies. He’d been right on the ropes before we showed up to bail him out! There were clearly more important issues to deal with than— 
“He is correct,” Glass stated flatly. “At this rate we are looking at either the aforementioned balloon situation or becoming so obese we will be sitting ducks in battle. Either one of these is too high a price to pay for further strength.” Pretty much everyone who had gathered nodded at Glass’s assessment. 
“What the hell are you all joking around about?” I asked. 
“You may think it’s a joke, Mr. Naofumi, but for the rest of us, this is a pretty serious issue,” Raphtalia said. Even she was siding with Glass on this issue. 
“That is exactly why I am playing my support music, to soothe your distended stomachs—” Itsuki started. 
“We’ve already heard enough from you, Mr. Musical Instrument Hero. We know which side you are on! That’s not what we are talking about here!” L’Arc’s sharp tone cut deeply into Itsuki. I shook my head, wondering if this was really something worth devoting so much brainpower to. 
After all . . . everyone involved with Kizuna had this side to them, influenced—“poisoned” might be a more apt term—by her into being a bit airheaded. I wished they would just get a bit greedier—literally—about getting stronger without having to debate the method so intensely. 
“The recipes contained in the weapon also display how much experience they provide. Let’s search for the best recipes to have Naofumi make. If possible . . . those that allow for a large volume of experience with just a small volume of food,” Glass continued. 
“I bet those recipes will require rarer ingredients. I thought experience was energy for a Spirit, anyway?” I asked her. I’d even heard that it would spill out if too much was obtained. 
“Naofumi, this enhancement via cooking also applies to Spirits. The experience is provided in a different format from normal,” Glass explained. That was interesting—it meant Glass also had a lot to gain from this enhancement method. 
“I’m with Lady Glass on this one,” L’Arc said. 
“Master, more!” said Filo. 
“I’m coming!” I moved over to refill the plates of those who were happy to actually eat. “Maybe I’ll cook up something with a stomach-expanding effect?” 

“Mr. Naofumi, we don’t really need your input on this matter. Please just enjoy your never-ending meal with Filo, S’yne, and the killer whale sisters until we are finished with our discussions,” Raphtalia told me. So it sounded like I was definitely going to be the one doing the cooking. I stood back and watched their discussions. The very issue on the table was absolutely ridiculous, and yet everyone was completely serious. 
Based on how such things normally worked, it seemed highly likely that dishes with carefully selected ingredients, or that took longer to prepare, would offer better effects. If they didn’t want to just shovel in platefuls, the only option was to increase the quality of each dish. That also sounded like a real pain in the ass though. It would make my life much easier if everyone was like Filo and just ate whatever was put in front of them. 
“Master! I’m feeling so full of energy, although I’m not sure exactly why !” Filo chirped. 
“I might have some ideas,” I replied. Left with few choices, I moved over to sit with Filo and the other eaters. The group of gluttons was piling it away in astounding fashion. It almost felt good to watch them at work. It was still a pain to make the food, sure, but I didn’t feel so bad about it when it was being so heartily enjoyed. 
Of course, not everyone could eat like these guys, and yet it was also true that we needed everyone to eat as much as possible in order to get the ability boosts. Maybe how to proceed was an important question after all. 
I’d have to give it some thought myself. 
“I’m not going to lose this time. That’s why?” S’yne had been roundly thrashed by her older sister and didn’t seem very happy about it—she had been doing nothing but eating since. Getting stronger just by eating sounded like a pretty good deal to me. An extremely easy approach. That said, it was also a little worrying that just boosting specs and then not having the follow-through could lead to trouble when the actual fighting started. Some earnest training surely provided additional benefits over just wolfing down a plate of food. 
“I have to say . . . you whale sisters can pack it away too, can’t you?” I said. Not to the extent of Filo, but they were maintaining a steady pace. Many of the others in the village were hearty eaters, but these four could more than hold their own. 
“Oh my. Do you dislike women who eat a lot, little Naofumi?” Sadeena asked. 
“What? You do?” Shildina chipped in. 
“Not really,” I responded. I didn’t let myself get hung up on stuff like that. Eating a lot was proof of being healthy—but eating too much could damage one’s health. That was the whole reason for the meeting the other group was having. 
“I must say, little Naofumi, it feels like your cooking has really helped the smoothness of my skin and luster of my hair,” Sadeena stated. I took another look at her—she did indeed seem more luminescent than normal. 
“You’re definitely smooth and lustrous in your therianthrope form,” I quipped. She was a sea creature, after all—a freaking killer whale. 
“Your breasts have gotten bigger too,” Shildina mentioned. At that comment, I felt eyes glancing over at us. I turned around to see Glass and Raphtalia looking over. It had started to feel like something from a love-comedy manga—I almost expected the girls to start comparing bust sizes, with the bigger cup attaining the upper hand. Not that such a thing was in any way realistic. 
“How do you feel about breasts, little Naofumi? Lean in and whisper it just to me, if you’re embarrassed to say,” Sadeena said. 
“Excuse me?” I retorted with some hostility. 
“My breasts in particular,” she continued, thrusting them out with what looked like the intent of getting me to touch them. I might have loosened up a little after the whole Atla business, but that didn’t mean I liked talking about this stuff now. 
“I think nothing of them. If you have time to worry about your bust line, spend it obtaining something more practical—some muscles for battle,” I told her. Breasts weren’t really something one had any control over, anyway. It was pointless to compare them. If big ones provided some kind of advantage in battle, great, but I’d never heard of that either. It didn’t matter what men thought about them. The only requirement was some kind of practical application. 
Then, for some reason, Raphtalia gave a sigh. 
“I don’t think you have any real cause for concern in that regard, Lady Raphtalia—if I may be so bold, of course,” L’Arc ventured. 
“That’s not the issue here . . . Ah, forget it,” she replied. 
“Kizuna has a considerable fixation on breast size,” Glass mentioned. “I should share this information with her as quickly as possible.” This meeting was really starting to get off track. They were never going to solve the cooking crisis like this. 
“Those guys over there are trying to resolve issues of getting too fat or eating too much, but what about you, S’yne? Killer whale sisters? Do you have any concerns?” I asked them. Filo, of course, didn’t really come into it—and whether she was a filolial or a humming fairy, she would look fine even if she was a bit fat. I mean, she was just going from a fluffy ostrich to one of those plump yellow video game birds from that endless fantasy. She might even attain a weight more in keeping with her plumped-up appearance. 
“Ah! Master, you’re thinking something rude about me!” Filo chirped. 
“Go ahead, then. Do you have any worries, Filo? Like what might happen if you get fat?” I asked her point-blank. 
“Huh?” she responded in a very Filo-like way. As far as I could tell, in her monster form Filo was almost all muscle, with no fat at all—and yet she was the biggest glutton in the village. She did run around a lot, so she was always burning energy. “I’m not sure what you mean,” she continued. 
“Me neither. I’ve never been fat so I wouldn’t know,” Sadeena added. 
“Same here,” Shildina said. 
“Me too—” S’yne managed to get out. It seemed none of my semi-pro eaters had ever really worried about their weight at all. As for S’yne, I couldn’t really comment on her, but the killer whale sisters’ natural habitat was underwater, a place with heavy resistance to the slightest movement, so their bodies were likely just clumps of muscle. They surely burned a lot of calories swimming around in the cold too. I was sure some women would be pretty jealous to hear all this—but those two also did naturally look pretty plump when in their therianthrope or monster forms. 
“When you get older, I bet you’ll be all fat and saggy,” I said. Women often worried about how what they were doing now would make them look in the future. Then I noticed Sadeena winking over at Raphtalia for some reason. 
“Little Naofumi, would you not like me anymore if I was fat? . . . What about Raphtalia?” Sadeena asked. 
“Hmmm . . . I can’t imagine either of you being overweight,” I replied. I had seen images of Raphtalia’s mother, and she had been—if I had to pick one—on the plump side. Raphtalia herself currently took after her father, but there was no reason she couldn’t take after her mother in the future. “It’s better than being all skin and bones,” I finally managed. I’d seen some skeleton-looking women in college, girls with the goal to just be as thin as possible. I knew that some people liked it, but I certainly wasn’t one of them. 
I was starting to feel that maybe physical appearance didn’t bother me at all. When it came to romance . . . I didn’t feel like forming an actual relationship with anyone—even with those I felt a kind of love toward, like Filo and Melty. Back when I was in Japan, I was something of a connoisseur of those two-dimensional Lolita types, but simply touching a real Lolita was out of the question. I tried to think of Atla in a sexual way for a moment, but couldn’t. Raphtalia’s young appearance also bothered me. Mentally speaking, there might have been something . . . but all the young ones, apart from Raphtalia and Atla, were definitely out of the picture. 
I snapped back to myself, wondering what I was even thinking about. I really needed to get off this topic. 
“In fact, I think big and fluffy might be best. Like Raph-chan,” I said. 
“Raph?” the cutie questioned. Raphtalia slumped down, seemingly drained of all her energy. 
“It looks like you’ve still got a while before you truly comprehend the female mind,” Sadeena said wistfully. 
“Indeed. Sweet Naofumi needs to work out what he likes,” Shildina agreed. I was just shaking my head at what a completely annoying answer that was when I saw S’yne nodding in agreement too. Like I cared at all about comprehending the female mind! 
“If you really don’t want to end up fat, maybe I can use some ingredients suited to dieting,” I said, trying to find a compromise. This being a pseudo-fantasy world, there were apparently magical ingredients that would actually let you lose weight as you ate them. Sure, they were also apparently pretty rare, but we’d only need them to take the weight off. There were also recipes for dishes that boosted metabolism. In other words, these problems we were discussing had already been taken into account. 
“So that’s the conclusion we come to, is it?” L’Arc said, accusation in his voice. 
“I’m not going to allow you to run from eating simply because it’s going to make you fat!” I retorted, somewhat sharply. The heads of every member of the conference group drooped downward in stunning synchronization. 
In the end, we came to the conclusion that we should consume food as efficiently as we could without overeating. Personally, I wanted everyone to become as strong as absolutely possible. One of the most wonderful aspects of this power-up method was that it took effect on all allies, not just other heroes. That meant an overall boost to the strength of our entire force. There was no reason not to jump at such a chance. I also had plenty of experience with my own research into cooking that I could now bring to bear, including such things as adding medicinal herbs to dishes. It would definitely be worth trying to make recipes other than those in the weapon’s recipe book.