Tantei wa Mou, Shindeiru - Volume 9 - Chapter 2.05

  The ocean, jewels, and pretty dresses

After Saikawa’s volunteer performance at the facility, we drove to an aquarium a short distance away.

It was seven-thirty, just before closing time, and there weren’t many people inside. The lights were dim, so if we disguised Saikawa a little with a hat and a face mask, nobody would recognize her.

“Wooow! A ray, it’s a ray! It’s huge!”

Saikawa plastered herself against a big tank, eyes sparkling.

She had an hour of downtime. We’d stopped here at Saikawa’s request to let her recharge a bit before the rehearsal.

“You like aquariums that much?”

“Yes, because they’re overflowing with the same color as my eye! Oh, there are clown fish, too!” Saikawa said, pointing. I went over to stand beside her.

“After clown fish eggs hatch, the babies head out into the ocean immediately,” I told her.

“You know a lot about them. Is that something you heard from Siesta, long ago?”

I wasn’t actually sure. Siesta had showered me with her encyclopedic knowledge basically every day, though.

“It must be lonely having to leave your parents before you grow up.” Saikawa gazed at the clown fish as if she were seeing herself in them.

“Well, clown fish do form symbiotic relationships with sea anemones, so they’re not entirely alone.”

“…That’s true. Heh-heh. Does that mean you’re an anemone, Kimizuka?”

If she was going to put it that way, then wouldn’t her fans have been the anemones? The thought crossed my mind, but Saikawa moved on to the next tank without waiting for my comeback. It was full of soft, drifting jellyfish.

“They’re so pretty.”

The lights made the numerous jellyfish all shine blue. Saikawa stared at them, fascinated.

“Huh? Kimizuka, aren’t you supposed to tell me ‘You’re prettier’?”

“What, you were waiting for me to say that?”

Come to think of it, a certain detective had said the same thing to me last Christmas.

“Heh-heh. I was joking.” Saikawa gave a little giggle, then smiled softly. “I really do love pretty things, though.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes. Aquariums, summer skies, sapphires, dresses the color of the ocean… I dress up in pretty costumes and turn words that sound too pretty to be true into songs. That’s my job.”

“You did say something like that earlier, didn’t you?”

“Yeah. It’s something my parents taught me.” Saikawa touched the jellyfish tank gently. “I want to always stay pretty… But that’s why things didn’t go to plan earlier.”

She probably meant what had happened at the children’s home.

There had been twenty kids at the facility.

Yui Saikawa was a nationally popular idol who’d dropped in for a surprise visit, and most of the kids had been ecstatic. They’d jumped for joy, enjoying Saikawa’s songs and her interactions with them with all their hearts.

A few of them hadn’t been like that, though.

The kids who lived at the facility had all kinds of different circumstances. Some were orphaned, others had parents who’d abandoned them, and those boys and girls hadn’t all been able to accept Saikawa’s overflowing innocence…her sparkle. They’d stayed in a corner while she sang, listening as if they were bored.

“I’m sorry,” Saikawa said, turning and bowing to me. “And thank you.”

“I don’t think you have any reason to say either of those things to me.”

“It was all thanks to you. You were the one those children opened up to.”

While most of the children gathered around Saikawa, I’d gone over to talk to the ones in the corner. In general, I wasn’t great with kids, and even that group had been wary of me at first as well.

I had a secret weapon, though. The very first thing I said made their eyes widen. It was just one sentence, but that was all it took.

“I grew up in this facility, just like you.”

That had caught their interest a little. Then I’d talked about what it was like back then and told them some stories they could relate to, and in the end, I’d gotten them to smile.

I was happy telling them anything about my past and what I’d been through if I thought it would help them. I told the kids they could play dirty, act recklessly, and live brazenly at times. That they had the choice to do all of those things.

I’d done what Danny Bryant had done for me, way back when.

“But you could have talked about that stuff too if you’d wanted to, right, Saikawa?”

Saikawa also had a few things in common with the kids at that facility. Her life certainly hadn’t always been pretty. Even if I’d done nothing, I was sure she would’ve been able to establish a rapport with those kids.

“Actually, I did consider trying at first… But I couldn’t do it.”

Saikawa started walking, and I followed her.

Before long, we came to another big tank. All sorts of fish were flitting through the water, graceful and beautiful. This was the aquarium’s biggest tank.

“No matter how busy I am, I never want my fans to see me tired. No matter how painful my past may have been, I can’t talk about it in detail. The sort of idol I’m trying to become can’t afford to do that.”

“Is that why you stayed cheerful from start to finish back there?”

Saikawa nodded. “It’s also what I promised my parents. I have to keep shining as an idol. I have to wear pretty dresses and live by pretty words.”

The day before, Saikawa had said something similar talking about that fan of hers. She’d said she’d shine brighter than all the stars and the sun. That she’d keep darkness and shadows hidden inside herself and only show her fans her brilliance. That was the sort of idol Yui Saikawa wanted to become. Her ideal.

“I don’t feel obligated to do that; it’s what I want to do. My dream.”

She wasn’t filled with grim resolve. Her expression wasn’t full of sorrow. Standing in front of that enormous blue tank, Yui Saikawa made a passionate appeal.

I listened to her quietly. Hearing about the way she lived and her choices was probably the most important job I’d done all day.

“That’s why… That’s why I’ll—!” Saikawa had raised her voice slightly, but just then, reflected in the tank, I saw her eyes widen.

Behind her, an eerie shape swayed.

I hurriedly turned around—but in that moment, the shape had vanished.

“…It’s all right.” Saikawa quietly closed her eyes, as if she were calming herself down. She didn’t mention what had just happened.

However, in the next second she’d removed her eye patch, her expression filled with determination.

“I’ll sing. As long as my voice lasts, I’ll keep singing just for you!”

At first, she’d spoken as if she were quietly savoring the words, but by the end of the sentence, Saikawa was shouting in a voice that had fire in it.

The empty aquarium was still.

In the dark building, a blue light illuminated her, almost like a spotlight.

After a little while, I called out, “Saikawa,” and she slowly turned to me.

“How was actress Yui Saikawa’s utterly convincing performance?”

She was wearing a smile. Apparently, she’d been rehearsing her lines from the musical.

I couldn’t see them as just a lie, though. It hadn’t felt like she was acting.

Reality and ideals. The surface and what was hidden beneath.

Right now, those things were mingling together. Yui Saikawa, the person, was on the verge of becoming an idol, a literal object of worship.

“All right. Time to go to work.”

Still smiling, Saikawa set off ahead of me.

It wasn’t something that should have made me feel lonely.

And yet I got the feeling that her back was pulling further and further away, and I walked just a little bit faster.