Strange Grief Wants to Retire ~ The Weakest Hunter Dreams of a Hero ~ - Volume 7 - Chapter 5.1

Chapter Five: The Supreme Warrior Festival

The day of destiny was upon us, and I had a stomachache the moment I woke up.

Lucia dragged me out of bed, yelling, “Get a hold of yourself! Do you think you can fight like this? That’s no ordinary hunter you’re going to be pitted against!”

“I can’t go. My Relics aren’t charged.”

“I charged them.”

I hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep. It was all because of that accursed tournament bracket. I wasn’t going out there. From start to finish, I had said I wouldn’t participate, and I never once expressed a desire to. But I knew that even for me, it was unlikely that there was some guy running around with the same first and last name as mine.

So what’s the most likely cause of this? Maybe some screwup by the empire? I wanna go home.

“You don’t look so good,” Liz commented. She had been sparring with Luke all morning. “You’re usually calm, no matter what.”

I never feel good! I thought as I forced my body up.

“Now, now, Krai,” Sitri said with a grin and clap of her hands, “If the Krai on the bracket is a different Krai than our Krai Krai Krai...”

She was broken. Maybe I had whacked her on the head too many times? Maybe she enjoyed seeing my reactions as she started lining up potions before me.

“Here we have a recovery potion, an explosive, a poison, a paralyzer, a sleep inducer, a mana recovery...”

She was broken, but some functions remained intact.

I shook my head, telling myself not to jump to conclusions. It was possible that the me on the bracket was a different me. If a look-alike existed, it could mean a real one existed (no, I don’t know what that means). I was nervous and panicking, so much that I was ready to throw up.

Lucia sighed and said, “Why did you accept the ticket if you didn’t want to participate?”

“Because I wanted to spectate.”

“And haven’t I been telling you that that’s a participant’s ticket?!”

I wanted to hit my past self for being so happy-go-lucky. And if I were going to participate, what did this mean for the princess? In fact, I didn’t see her around. Had she made a break for it?

“If you’re looking for Princess Murina, she’ll be watching from the VIP seats. She is of the imperial family, as you’re aware.”

I told myself not to worry, that I absolutely would not participate and therefore had nothing to fear.

“Just to be sure, can you surrender in the Supreme Warrior Festival?” Sitri asked, a few of her screws still loose.

“Uh, I’m pretty sure it’s possible. Officially, at least,” Lucia answered.

“What?!” Luke cried. “No way am I gonna let anyone spoil the fun like that! They’ll taste steel before they can get away with it!”

“Luke, your blade is wooden,” Liz reminded him.

It probably didn’t taste good either way. Listening to their exchange, Lucia sighed deeply. Unlike me, everyone else was in high spirits. Even Lucia and Ansem were both raring to go.

“With yesterday’s exercise, I’ve never been better!” Luke said. “You’ll give me a good show, right, Krai?!”

“The princess started crying when she got bombarded with orders,” Liz recalled. “I had fun though.”

I could barely believe I was the same species as these two.

I told myself that I would be okay, that it was someone else on the tournament bracket. And if the unlikely—and I mean very unlikely—came true and I did end up in the tournament, I’d be safe so long as my opponent wasn’t Luke.

I took a deep breath and smiled. Smiling is the only thing humans can do when they’re helpless. I turned around and looked at my friends. “Now,” I said, trying to be as hard-boiled as possible, “are you guys ready to make history*?”

(*For a certain definition of history.)

They roared in the affirmative.

The site of the tournament, Kreat’s famous arena, wasn’t even open yet, but it was already the center of a storm of zealous cheers and bellows. It gave me goose bumps. Close to the arena were dozens of people, a plethora of different weapons among them.

It almost felt like there was a war going on, but then again, the Supreme Warrior Festival was in its own way just that. This was a place to determine who was the strongest, but every year it also resulted in more than a few fatalities. Sometimes hunters put their pride above their own lives.

“Oh, what’s the matter, Krai? You look like you’re gonna die,” Sven said.

“I always look like this,” I replied.

“Are you for real? Sir? You’re up first, aren’t you?” Kris prodded me.

We had met up with Obsidian Cross, Starlight, and the other members of First Steps that had come to cheer us on. Apparently, I looked bad enough that Kris and Sven could tell at just a glance that something was up. Everyone was under the impression that I would be fighting, but I didn’t feel like trying to clear up that misunderstanding.

Say something! If you think I’m involved in something, then tell me earlier!

Except they had told me.

“This is my prebattle complexion,” I said, trying to sound cool and resisting my urge to flee.

“What? Sir?”

It wasn’t just Sitri, I was broken as well.

“Last night, I had too much to think about and couldn’t sleep,” I said.

That hadn’t happened in a while. Being able to sleep well was supposed to be one of my strengths.

“I get you, Krai!” Luke yelled, undeterred by the large crowd. “Last night, I was so excited I got up and did some practice swings!”

Don’t put us in the same boat.

“You made me worry for nothing!” Kris said. “Hmph. Just don’t make an idiot of yourself. Sir!”

“You had too much on your mind to sleep,” Sven smirked. “So you are taking this seriously? Don’t see that every day.”

“Do your best, Master!” Tino said. “I’m all ready. I’ve bet all my money on you!”

It’s fine. It’s all fine. Sitri will compensate Tino for her losses, so it’s all fine.

It wasn’t going to be me entering. Deliverance comes to believers, and I believed I wouldn’t be in the tournament. I absolutely would not be fighting!

The worker at the gate looked at my ticket with wide eyes. “‘Mr. Krai Andrey.’ Hm. Didn’t I let you in earlier?”

This took me by surprise. “Hm?!”

“Are you sure that wasn’t Krahi Andrihee?” Sitri checked.

The gate-worker looked at me suspiciously. “I’m certain I’ve made no mistake. I already let this man in.”

Wait. Could it be? COULD IT REALLY BE?

Of course. I never said I would be fighting, and I didn’t see how anyone could confuse being in the ring with being out of it. What a confusing mess. Who was this Krai Andrey fellow? I considered betting on him.

Maybe it was crass of me, but I instantly felt leagues better. A smile formed on my face, which Lucia found suspect.

“What are you so happy about?” she asked.

“By the way,” I said to the gate-worker, “is there a challenger named Murina Atolm Zebrudia?”

I figured I may as well check.

“No, there isn’t. Wait. Zebrudia?”

I hadn’t seen her name on the bracket or anything, but hearing this was a relief.

“Anyways, could he be allowed to reenter?” Sitri asked.

“You also lost your warrior’s bracelet? I told you I couldn’t issue another one. Here, don’t lose it this time. Now, good luck out there.”

Thanks to Sitri’s unrequested meddling, a bracelet was snapped onto my wrist.

Warrior’s bracelet. Ha ha. I don’t need this. I’m not a warrior.

“Krai Andrey, you’ll be in the first bout, so right this way.”

“Give ’em hell, Krai Baby!”

Ha ha ha, don’t worry. That’s a different Krai Andrey they’re talking about.

“Here’s the standby room.”

Ha ha ha. “Standby room.” What’s a spectator going to be on standby for? The only fight I’m waiting for is the fight to hold my drink.

The door slammed shut. I returned to my senses.

The standby room was simple. The only furniture was a chair, table, and a mini fridge. I looked up and saw that the ceiling wasn’t far above me. No good hiding spots.

What am I doing here? Tell them no, Krai!

My relative safety had hollowed out my brain.

I looked around but didn’t see anyone who could explain what was going on. But worse than that, the Krai, the real Krai, who was supposed to be on standby wasn’t here. Nowhere he could hide, for that matter.

Clinging to my last thread of hope, I opened the mini fridge. “Kraiii, are you here?”

Inside was nothing more than a few bottles of water. Crap. I hadn’t really thought he would be in the fridge, but this sealed the deal—he wasn’t in the room.

No. I still didn’t know that for sure. It was possible that Krai Andrey was a liquid life-form. I didn’t recall there being any limits on what races could enter.

Still in denial, I removed the bottles one by one. “Kraiii, is this you?” I droned lifelessly. “Or is this you? Or could this be you?”

“Eeep!” the water bottle yelped.

Once again, I returned to my senses.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” I said.

This wasn’t the time for being in denial and it wasn’t the time for auditory hallucinations.

Real Krai, where are you?

***

In the empty standby room, the mini fridge silently opened. Without anyone touching it, one of the water bottles rolled onto the ground. And then Little Sister Fox returned to her original form.

The first thing she did was breathe deeply. She needed to calm down. She was so startled, her pointed ears had popped out. She twitched them as she listened for the presence of anyone else. Once she was sure nobody was around, she let out a sigh of relief.

What a terrifying human. That had been her first time taking the form of an inanimate object, but she was so confident in her transformation skills that she could barely believe how quickly he had cornered her. But in the end, she won. Her guise had managed to fool Mr. Caution. She thought it might have been over when she accidentally cried out, but he hadn’t caught on.

But this was where the real fight began. She was up against someone who had given both her mother and older brother a run for their money. She was certain her plan was sound, but there was no telling what might blow her cover.

Just now, she hadn’t expected that man to enter this room. Still, she had managed to make it work by turning into a bottle of water. When she really thought about it, he was slated to appear in this tournament, so it was natural that he had ended up in this room.

“Interesting,” she murmured.

Peregrine Lodge had a rule that if you lost a battle of wits, you couldn’t seek revenge. But she refused to simply accept defeat. Because of her previous defeat, Little Sister Fox had been labeled a glutton by her counterparts. It was a humiliating memory.

She couldn’t seek revenge, but she could prepare another duel. This time, she would be on the attack. Would a dullard who had never noticed the true nature of his Smartphone really be able to see through her schemes?

She wasn’t going to spare any means at her disposal. She closed her eyes and held up her index finger, preparing a spell. With this, Mr. Caution would be momentarily lost in the bathroom, unable to leave. While he was stumbling around in the lavatory, faith in him would crumble. And when he was found, he would be jeered and mocked.

Satisfied with her work, she did an agile flip and took the form of Krai Andrey.

***

Beneath a cloudless sky, a fervent buzz overtook a stadium large enough to seat tens of thousands of people. At long last, the Supreme Warrior Festival was set to begin. The majority of the seats were filled and everyone was waiting to witness the making of a champion.

Tino and the hunters of First Steps were given special seats for friends of the participants. These special seats were the closest to the fighting. In a tournament that attracted the best of all races and vocations, attacks could sometimes impact a wide area. These acquaintances were meant to serve as a sort of breakwater, should it be necessary.

Looking around, Tino saw nothing but seasoned warriors. She naturally tensed up, which she tried to alleviate with deep breaths. This caught the attention of two fellow spectators, Sven Anger of Obsidian Cross, and Kris of Starlight.

“Don’t tell me something’s bothering you. The show hasn’t even started!”

“He’s right. We’re here on the human weakling’s invitation, we should act like we deserved it!”

However, Kris seemed about as nervous as Tino. Sven, though, was totally at ease.

“I’ve got a lotta money riding on this, so there’s gonna be hell to pay if he bungles this!” Kris grumbled.

Her master was god, therefore, Tino hadn’t hesitated to bet all her capital on him. Following her suggestion, Kris had done the same.

“Kris, you’re not, well, y’know?” Sven said, looking at her with pity.

“What? No, I don’t know! If you have something to say, then say it! Sir!”

“Master is god. Master will definitely win. Everything will be fine.”

Kris was quick to agree with Tino. “R-Right! He’ll win, so it’s no problem! He invited me here, so it was only natural that I bet on him!” But her eyes still showed uncertainty.

She was probably harboring a similar unease to Tino’s. Either way, whether his chances were good or bad, Tino had no choice but to bet on her beloved master. To not bet would demonstrate a lack of faith.

“But what’s with this card?!” Kris said, smacking the tournament bracket. “It’s ridiculous!”

Tino was of the same mind. Her master’s first opponent would be Krahi Andrihee—the fake master. She had known of the fake master (except her master called him the real one), but never had she imagined the two would meet on this lauded stage.

That someone would impersonate a hunter known far and wide like the Thousand Tricks was preposterous. But it had made Tino all the more confident in her wager. After all, no matter what, a fake couldn’t possibly surpass the real thing.

Sven roared with laughter. “But this guy’s something special. He’s a skilled Magus with plenty of mana material.”

“Right, you said you met him,” Kris replied. “But if he really is talented, that just makes it all the weirder that he would use a fake name! This is a tournament that even Noble Spirits know well! Sir!”