Seishun Buta Yarou Series - Volume 13 - Chapter 1.1

I want it, but I can’t have it.

I’ll never be the me I want to be.

I can’t have it, but I still want it.

I’ll never be the me I want to be.

Spin round and round. Dizzy lost child.

Ask a mirror, Who are you?

The answer is always, Who are you?

Only someone with no name knows for sure.

Touko Kirishima, “Someone”

Chapter 1- The World Dreams

1

Sakuta Azusagawa found himself beneath a starry sky.

Regulus in Leo. Spica in Virgo. Arcturus in Boötes. The sun had only just set, and the evening stars in the spring sky gently watched over the crowds.

But no one here was looking up. An audience of ten thousand, but every eye on the same thing.

An outdoor stage by Yokohama’s Red Brick Warehouse.

It had started as a simple seaside music festival.

Then a popular rock band had brought out a surprise guest vocalist.

All eyes were on her.

Sakuta’s included.

Her voice was clear.

Soaring.

A strong, beautiful voice, rising up above the hard-rock accompaniment.

Sakuta knew the woman holding that microphone.

Everyone knew her.

Mai Sakurajima had started out as a child star, and to this day, she landed major roles in movies and on TV.

The crowd by the stage wasn’t moving at all, as if time itself had stopped. No one cheered. Since Mai had stepped out, they’d been immobilized by shock.

Sakuta had heard this song before.

One of Touko Kirishima’s biggest hits, it had been featured in a commercial.

And now Mai was singing it.

Like it was her own song.

Like she herself was Touko Kirishima.

Mai’s voice reverberated from the stage.

Robbing the audience of speech. No one was rocking to the beat or clapping along. Just standing there, stunned.

The song finished before anyone could recover.

The red bricks were lit with orange lights, and the venue was as quiet as any other evening. The only sounds came from the wind and the lapping waves. But in that darkness, ten thousand people waited.

Holding their breath.

Ears straining to hear what Mai said next.

Patiently reining in the urge to rush the stage.

Mai could sense their expectation, hence her sheepish smile.

The crowd was hanging on her smallest gesture, the anticipation only growing—about to burst.

Mai took a breath.

And raised the mic to her lips again.

“I’d like to take this moment to share something with you all.”

The crowd didn’t react yet, watching intently.

“I imagine some of you have already worked it out.”

Mai paused again, scanning the crowd.

Everyone there was champing at the bit. And Mai looked over the sea of faces, soaking it in.

Then she took another breath.

“I’m Touko Kirishima,” she declared.

A full second of silence followed.

Then another.

Then all that built-up anticipation erupted. No longer holding back, time moved once again. A roar was unleashed, shaking the air like thunder. Completely altering the concert vibe.

No other sound could be heard. The cheers blanketed the venue. As powerful as the bellow of a gigantic beast. In that moment, in that location, the emotions of a crowd ten thousand strong brought forth something with a will of its own.

Only Sakuta was left behind.

Still standing, stunned.

Someone jumped, bumping his shoulder, startling him from his reverie.

“So let me just sing one more number.”

Mai snapped her fingers, and the drums kicked in.

The crowd surged forward, scrambling to be in the front row of this performance. Sakuta found himself pushed away from the stage.

Mai looked so small up there. She was forty or fifty yards away.

He watched her distant figure a moment longer, but at the song’s midpoint, he turned and walked away. The stage was brightly lit, but no lights illuminated his retreat. As he moved, Sakuta pulled something from his pocket.

In his hand was the faint heft of a smartphone.

The screen was almost blinding, but his fingers danced across it. Calling a number at the top of his address book—in the As.

He put the phone to his ear, and it rang three times.

“Akagi speaking.”

Ikumi’s voice was on the line.

“It’s Azusagawa.”

“I know. What?”

“Got a favor to ask.”

“You, asking me for help? That’s alarming.”

She was half-joking, half-serious.

“Can you meet up now?”

“That’s sudden.”

“We may not have much time.”

His eyes flicked back to Mai, who was singing onstage.

“……Got it.”

She must have had questions. This was completely out of the blue. But Ikumi didn’t say another word. Taking into account the urgency of his phrasing.

“Where should I go?”

“I’m at the Red Brick Warehouse, so…Yokohama Station?”

“Okay. See you there.”

He hit the red button, ending the call.

His somber expression was reflected in the darkened screen. Looking at it, Sakuta whispered—to no one in particular:

“The rest is up to you.”

Only then did Sakuta realize he was dreaming.

When his eyes opened, Mai’s grumpy face was looking down at him.

“Good morning, Mai.”

He attempted to greet his girlfriend but found it oddly hard to speak. Perhaps not that odd—Mai’s fingers were pulling hard on his cheek.

“Was I talking in my sleep?” he asked, guessing at the cause of her mood.

“What were you and Akagi up to?”

Obviously, he’d hit the nail on the head. He must have said her name.

“I had a smartphone, and I was calling her.”

It had been a very weird dream.

“You, with a phone?”

She looked incredulous.

“Exactly.”

“Your phone?”

“It came out of my pocket, so I’m assuming it was.”

“Huh. What an odd dream.”

Mai let go of his cheek. She looked puzzled. She clearly found the idea of him owning a phone every bit as uncanny as he did. The entire time they’d known each other, he’d never had one.

He sat up and leaned against the back of the couch. He looked around. It was an unfamiliar room, with an unfamiliar scent. It was apparent that no one lived here—it was too clean. This was a hot springs inn in Hakone. That’s why they were both in yukata.

“It was a very odd dream,” Sakuta elaborated. “There was a stage set up by the Red Brick Warehouse for a music festival. You were singing a Touko Kirishima number…and when the song ended, you told the crowd you were Touko Kirishima.”

“Even for a dream, that’s ridiculous.”

Mai laughed it off.

“…” But Sakuta wasn’t laughing.

Picking up on that, Mai looked him over.

“…Sakuta, you’re thinking this is one of those prophetic dreams?”

“Can’t say it wasn’t. It felt a bit too real.”

He could still feel the phone in his hand. His palm remembered the weight of it. Mai’s voice still echoed in his ears. In his mind.

“But I’ve got no plans to appear at any music festivals. It’s not my field.”

“I know.”

Mai Sakurajima was a movie and TV star. She did commercials, and she modeled. Her roles might require her to sing sometimes, but she did not perform regularly.

“Even if an offer like that comes along, and you feel compelled to buy a phone…there’s no way I’d claim to be Touko Kirishima.”

“Because you aren’t Touko Kirishima.”

Mai was right. The festival offer itself wasn’t out of the question. And he might buy a phone one day. Those two points were well within the realm of possibility.

But like he’d just said, Mai wasn’t Touko Kirishima. That part of the dream made no sense at all.

“Guess I’m overthinking it.”

“There’s been a lot of weirdness lately.”

She could say that again. He was pretty sure they hadn’t seen the last of it, either.

“What about you, Mai? Any weird dreams?”

“None. Slept like a baby.”

“We’re on an overnight date, so I’m not sure I approve.”

“We’ve come all the way to Hakone. I want to relax. Perhaps you’d better let these hot springs heal you a little longer.”

Mai had a point there. This was a chance to unwind.

“Then I’ll go take a dip in the main bath.”

“Take a long walk around the inn, too. Stay away at least an hour.”

“Why?”

“I want to use this bath, too.”

Mai glanced through the glass door to the outdoor bath attached to their room.

“I’d love to join you.”

“Just go!”

Mai pointed at the front door.

Then—

“Oh, good morning.” Ryouko Hanawa, Mai’s manager, came down the stairs.

“Good morning, Ryouko.”

“Good morning, Ms. Hanawa.”

“Good morning to you both.”

A whole lot of greetings.

“Oh, Mai,” Ryouko said, as if she’d just remembered.

“Yes?” Mai responded, pushing Sakuta toward the door.

“I forgot to tell you yesterday, but we received an unusual offer.”

Ryouko glanced at Sakuta. This was work, and she wasn’t sure if she should talk about it in front of him.

“So not a movie or a TV show?” Mai asked.

“It’s music related,” Ryouko said, avoiding specifics.

But that was all they needed to hear. Sakuta glanced Mai’s way and found her looking at him.

“An appearance at a music festival?” Mai asked.

“Huh?” Ryouko blinked. “How’d you know?”

Mai and Sakuta exchanged glances again and smiled evasively.