Sasaki and Peeps - Volume 8 - Chapter 2.0

<School, Part One>

Not long ago, we participated in a large-scale death game on the island of Miyakejima. There, angels and demons joined forces to take out my neighbor and Abaddon, who were proving themselves to be quite a force in the games thus far. Furthermore, this incident afforded us a glimpse behind the scenes, where we learned of the existence of certain benefactors supporting the Disciples in exchange for reaping their rewards.

In the end, our little group had to go it alone and was forced to fight both camps. Thankfully, with help from Peeps, Magical Pink, and Type Twelve’s harrowing sacrifice, we managed to escape the isolated space without losing anyone.

We had returned to Ms. Futarishizuka’s Karuizawa villa and sat down for a late dinner when Type Twelve spoke up.

“The youngest daughter would like to go to school with her elder sister,” she said enthusiastically.

She wore the same flat expression as always—no emotions were visible on her face. But from her louder-than-normal voice and her puffed-out chest, I sensed quite a bit of anticipation from her.

“Are you being serious right now, dear?” asked Ms. Futarishizuka.

“Grandmother, mechanical life-forms are always truthful. We are not like humans, who do nothing but lie.”

“Do you mean you want to attend my neighbor’s school as a student?” I asked.

“Father, your thinking is correct. I would like you to take the necessary steps to prepare my enrollment as soon as possible.”

Everyone present stopped eating and stared at her. Even I had to put my spoon, currently piled high with curry, down on my plate.

My neighbor glanced around at us and said, “As a current student, I don’t really see the appeal.”

Both Ms. Futarishizuka and I had reacted in a negative way, and I figured she was trying to help us out. But if that were all it took to talk Type Twelve down, we wouldn’t be playing house with her.

The mechanical life-form turned to face my neighbor and immediately continued, “Eldest Daughter, in the past, you promised to introduce me to students at your school.”

“Yes, I remember, but—”

“By attending school, I will be able to interface with these students more easily,” she asserted in desperation. “I can form relationships with them independently, without requiring your time or effort. I believe this is a very sensible option for both of us.”

This sounded less like a family conversation and more like a company presentation. Personally, I was curious why she was so interested in attending school.

“Excuse me for asking,” I said, “but did something happen at school?”

“A bunch of boys fawned over her and made her feel nice,” my neighbor explained.

“I see.”

This made perfect sense to me. It seemed Type Twelve already had a successful experience at the school in question. Putting aside her eccentric personality, anyone would agree that her point of contact was attractive. Teenage boys would obviously want to talk to her, and I could easily imagine such pampering doing wonders for her chronic loneliness.

“Father, you said before that the information one gains is not as important as the point of contact used to acquire it, the status of the terminal, and the environment and process by which it is obtained. I have judged this to be correct, and I would like to enhance my learning by placing myself in different environments.”

“Won’t this just end with some guy taking advantage of you and dumping you by the side of the road?” muttered Ms. Futarishizuka.

“Hey, can you try to be more sensitive?” Miss Hoshizaki chided.

“I don’t know about you, but I can see it clearly: A mechanical life-form, discarded by her man and driven to despair, throws a fit and destroys the world.”

“Urk…”

It seemed Miss Hoshizaki could imagine it pretty clearly as well. We had witnessed the formation of a new crater on our planet only a few days prior. I had a feeling that Ms. Futarishizuka wasn’t too far off the mark.

“Mother, do you not trust your youngest daughter?”

“O-of course I do. But there are a lot of people out there who deceive others and take advantage of them. I’m worried about you because you’re so new to your emotions. And you’re right—humans lie all the time.”

“The youngest daughter’s heart is warmed to know that Mother is worried about her. Mother is so kind.”

“So how about spending a little more time learning about humans before trying to go to school…?”

“However, should anyone act like Grandmother, I already know how to deal with them.”

The youngest daughter, full of pride and confidence, dismissed her mother’s concerns. She was unwavering. I figured Futarishizuka, the target of her attack, would be the one to clap back first, and I was right.

“Actually,” she said. “We might be able to use those sex-crazed boys to convince her to return home voluntarily. If we act now, we can get a jump on influencing the ones attending that school.”

“Grandmother, I am not entirely sure why you are audibly plotting right in front of this point of contact.”

“I think Ms. Futarishizuka is worried about you in her own way,” I said.

“Father, I struggle to comprehend your remark.”

“Well, she won’t do anything as blatant as before—not in front of Miss Hoshizaki anyway.”

Earlier today, Type Twelve did something extraordinary in the isolated space. Our senior, who was already sympathetic toward the alien, was greatly moved by what happened during the death game. In Ms. Futarishizuka’s words, there was nothing more we could do.

I kept one eye on the girl in the kimono while praying she wouldn’t start a fight. But she only sighed in resignation.

“Yes, well, our dear senior has taken your side,” she said to Type Twelve. “I don’t mind a bit if you get played around with, but I’d rather you refrain from blowing up any more of our planet.”

“Based on past experience, Grandmother’s reaction seems out of character. The youngest daughter cannot conceal her confusion.”

“What I’m saying is; why not just do as you like?”

“…Understood. I will do nothing that could cause problems for Kurosu’s school.”

Considering Type Twelve’s zeal for this new venture, getting her to give up seemed near impossible. She’d probably do it anyway while we weren’t looking. And in that case, the best solution was to allow her to attend under our supervision.

“Good,” I said. “You can’t go around causing problems for the school. If you decide to go, you must attend in accordance with the rules. Keep in mind that the rest of the world still doesn’t know you’re an extraterrestrial.”

“In that case, Father, I would like for you to suggest a concrete plan.”

“A concrete plan?” repeated Ms. Futarishizuka. “You don’t even have a family register, do you? I’m absolutely sure you don’t.”

“If it is required for my attendance, I will prepare one this evening. I can do so myself, without troubling any family members.”

“Actually, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t,” I said. “That’s exactly the sort of thing I was talking about.” I’m sure that’s super illegal. And if she hacks into the family register system, it’ll cause no end of chaos.

But without a family register, our plans to get Type Twelve into school were already at an impasse. How were we supposed to arrange one for her? If we hid the fact that she was an extraterrestrial, that would only make her an illegal alien of an entirely different type.

“I’m sure Sasaki was thinking this, too,” said Miss Hoshizaki, “but why don’t we ask the boss?”

“Mother, that is an excellent plan. I would very much like to discuss this with a state authority.”

“You’re right,” I said. “The section chief might be able to pull some strings.”

A lot of people all around the world were desperate to get Type Twelve under their country’s supervision. If a public dispute over her broke out in the future, having an established family register—created voluntarily, no less—would give us an enormous advantage both domestically and abroad. And given Mr. Akutsu’s position, he could probably use the win to his own advantage.

“I would like to visit the superior at Father and Mother’s place of work immediately,” said Type Twelve. “Should I pack a box of sweets as a gift?”

“What a very human suggestion,” Miss Hoshizaki remarked.

“Humans make illogical judgments based on their emotions. Therefore, there is value in attacking a target from an emotional angle. If it is necessary to obtain a family register, I would not hesitate to prepare suitable compensation.”

“You’d better not say that in front of the boss,” said Ms. Futarishizuka. “He’ll pluck the very hairs off your behind if you let him, if you catch my drift.”

“Grandmother, I unfortunately have no hair growing on my behind. Would it be better if I did?”

“Well, that depends on the tastes of whatever man you end up going out with.”

“H-hey! Stop being vulgar,” Miss Hoshizaki chimed in. “Don’t teach her stuff like that!”

“Based on Mother’s reaction, I will shelve this matter for the time being.”

“Either way, it’s late,” said Ms. Futarishizuka. “Can we leave this for tomorrow? Also, it’s family time right now, isn’t it?”

She was right. It was already past ten PM. If we went to the bureau now, it would be tomorrow before we were finished. Besides, I was already mentally worn out from our earlier excursion in the isolated space. If I wanted to have another verbal battle with the section chief, I’d need to get a good night’s rest. That probably went for my two coworkers as well.

Type Twelve simply nodded. “Understood. In accordance with family rule number one, I will prioritize harmonious family time.”

“Thank you,” I said. “I appreciate it.”

As for the matter of Prince Lewis, Ms. Futarishizuka and I would have other opportunities to discuss our plans. And since it would involve talking about the otherworld, I wanted to do so without my neighbor, Abaddon, or Miss Hoshizaki present. Regarding Type Twelve, I figured she already had some information about that side of things from watching the villa’s security cameras.

Ms. Futarishizuka, possibly in consideration of the above, didn’t bring up the topic again. Peeps made no comment, either. Instead, it was Lady Elsa who spoke up as the conversation petered out.

“Actually, I have something I wanted to ask you, Sasaki.”

“What is it, Lady Elsa?”

“What is your relationship to this girl?” she said, gesturing toward Magical Pink. “Her clothes seem strange compared to the rest of you. From what I saw on the battlefield earlier, I suspect she is a very high-ranking magician.”

The girl in question was currently enjoying her portion of curry. Now that I thought about it, Lady Elsa had spent almost no time around the magical girl. They had only met once, and at the time, they’d been pointing their wands at each other.

“Ah yes,” said Ms. Futarishizuka. “We haven’t done introductions yet.”

They must not have had time for such things while in the isolated space. And Peeps had warped us from the sea around Miyakejima to Karuizawa instantly, so there was no opportunity on the way back, either. And now, we were all sitting around the dinner table together.

“I’m terribly sorry, Lady Elsa,” I said. “This girl is—”

“Sasaki,” replied the girl from the otherworld, “since I am finally able to talk to her, I’d like to do so myself.”

“Oh. I see.”

Everyone’s attention gathered on Magical Pink.

She looked up from her plate of curry. “I can leave if you don’t want me here.”

“No, that’s not what we’re saying at all,” Ms. Futarishizuka assured her. “Everyone loves you!”

“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. My name is Elsa. What’s yours?”

“…Sayoko.”

That was, as far as I could remember, the first time Magical Pink had ever told us her real name despite how long we’d known her. Though if memory served, I’d briefly heard the yellow magical girl say it during their joint attack on the bureau.

Come to think of it, I wonder what country the yellow one is from.

“May I call you Sayoko from now on?” asked Lady Elsa.

“I don’t mind.”

“Thank you. Then you can call me Elsa.”

“I have a question for you, Elsa. Are you a psychic?”

“A psychic?”

“Yes, a psychic.”

“If you mean a person with supernatural abilities, then no, I’m not.”

“Oh. That’s good.”

The fire in Magical Pink’s gaze quickly faded. She’d been holding her spoon mid-air while she spoke, but now she resumed moving it from her plate to her mouth.

Whoa, that was terrifying. I’d been panicking internally. You could practically see the murder in Magical Pink’s eyes—and right in the middle of a friendly conversation!

“Should my esteemed senior and I run for the hills, then?” asked Ms. Futarishizuka.

“I would chase you. I won’t forgive any psychics.”

“Wait. Why do you care, Ms. Futarishizuka?” asked Miss Hoshizaki. “You’re basically immortal, aren’t you?”

“Huh? She’s…immortal?” replied Magical Pink.

“Yes, that’s right,” said the girl in the kimono. “Even if you tried to kill me, I’d live. You’re better off giving up on me.”

“……”

Confusion crossed Magical Pink’s face, and she frowned.

“And you,” Ms. Futarishizuka said, turning to Miss Hoshizaki. “You could simply ask for the youngest daughter’s help in a pinch, couldn’t you?”

“Mother,” said Type Twelve. “If there is ever an issue in your relationship with that human, please consult with me.”

“N-no, we’re fine,” Miss Hoshizaki replied. “I trust her not to start anything here.”

Personally, I was very curious about how Magical Pink categorized my two colleagues. I doubted she would suddenly launch an attack, but I was pretty sure she still harbored a lot of hostility toward them. In that sense, it was very handy to have Type Twelve serving as Miss Hoshizaki’s bodyguard.

“I want to be friends with you, Sayoko,” said Lady Elsa, quickly reading the room and offering the other girl a sweet smile. “Is that okay?”

This was probably her noble upbringing at work—she could be amazingly considerate in such situations. Thanks to her, Magical Pink shifted her attention away from Miss Hoshizaki.

“…I put my friends in danger,” she said.

“In danger? Why is that?”

“Bad things happen to people around me.”

“I can handle myself, so you don’t have to worry about that. Despite how I look, I can put up quite a fight. I’m not as powerful as you, but I’m confident I can defend myself, at least.”

“…Okay, then.”

“Thank you, Sayoko. I hope we can be good friends.”

“……”

Thank you, Lady Elsa. I hoped her efforts would improve our relationship with Magical Pink somewhat. And since Type Twelve had invited her to spend time with our fake family like this, I doubted she had a bad impression of the magical girl, either.

Quietly, I put my faith in their budding friendship. As it was, this magical middle-aged man didn’t have any better plans. Wasn’t this the government’s job anyway? The bureau really ought to coordinate a little more closely with child services. Perhaps I should submit a complaint to my boss at the next opportunity.

After that, dinner progressed smoothly. Once we were finished, family time was over for the day.

Type Twelve called a terminal and sent Ms. Futarishizuka, Miss Hoshizaki, my neighbor, Abaddon, and Lady Elsa back to Earth. Magical Pink, meanwhile, used her Magical Field to disappear to who knows where.

Peeps and I withdrew as well, using the bird’s teleportation magic. In order to gather more data about the relative flow of time, we put off our usual short stay in the otherworld and—for the first time in a while—spent the night in the cheap hotel serving as our temporary home.

Personally, I preferred Ms. Futarishizuka’s villa. It was truly the pinnacle of comfort. That expansive bath you could stretch your legs in—that was the way to live.

Unfortunately, because the villa’s owner had quarreled with Peeps over the fate of Prince Lewis, we didn’t feel comfortable imposing this time. The Starsage apologized to me before we went to bed.

The way his little movements held a hint of guilt was so adorable that my heart skipped a beat, though I felt guilty myself for finding it so cute.

I’m just as bad as Type Twelve, aren’t I?

The next day, we went straight to the bureau first thing in the morning. Type Twelve joined our usual group of three. She was all worked up and wanted to explain the matter to Mr. Akutsu personally. After a quick meetup at the Karuizawa villa, we boarded her disc-shaped terminal and headed into the city.

The boss knew we were making full personal use of the mechanical life-form’s impressive tech. That meant there was no longer any need to fake our location data. This would make hiding the existence of the angel-demon proxy war—and the otherworld—a lot easier.

Once we got into the office, the section chief called for us immediately. The other bureau employees were all focused on Type Twelve. It appeared they’d been informed of the mechanical life-form’s existence. With everyone’s eyes glued to us, we headed to the row of conference rooms.

The section chief had reserved us a space about ten square meters in size with a rectangular meeting table in the center. Ms. Futarishizuka, myself, Miss Hoshizaki, and Type Twelve lined up on one side. Having all four of us together felt a little cramped. Couldn’t someone sit next to Mr. Akutsu? Maybe next time I’d take the initiative and do just that.

“There was an incident yesterday on Miyakejima,” the boss began as soon as we’d taken our seats. “Several corpses were discovered strewn about the island. Judging by your phones’ location data, it seems you all were there. Could I get a rundown of what happened?”

The corpses were probably the remains of yesterday’s defeated Disciples. The others had filled me in last night about what happened on their end. Judging from the status of the remains, I figured they were the demon Disciples that had betrayed my neighbor and Abaddon. Apparently, the angels had let loose all at once, plunging everything into chaos.

“As if you don’t already know,” Ms. Futarishizuka shot back. “I’m sure you’ve guessed the reason by now.”

“I’m not sure I know what you mean,” he replied.

“What? Do you need your subordinates to spell it out to make you feel like the boss?”

“……”

I was very grateful to Ms. Futarishizuka for taking the lead here. It really helped to have her playing the bad guy. I figured this was also her revenge for what we’d put up with out in the field.

The section chief appeared to think for a few moments, then said, “I suppose one could call it a proxy war between angels and demons, yes? I want to know the results.”

It was just as we thought—he was aware of the death game. But how much did he know?

“Skipping straight to the conclusion,” I said, “the organizers of the event were defeated.”

I kept quiet about who defeated whom. My plan was to feed him little bits and pieces, never going out of my way to explain details, and to observe how he reacted. I was most curious about his relationship to the people running that website full of gory images. I couldn’t yet discount the worst possibility—that our boss himself was the ringleader.

However, he merely kept up his usual poker face. “When you say the organizers, do you mean whoever was in charge of that website?”

“I believe so, sir.”

“Well, if any of you have spoken with them, I’d love to hear the details.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but we haven’t. It was a coincidence at best that we ran into them on the island.”

I glanced over at Ms. Futarishizuka and Miss Hoshizaki. They were watching our exchange, not offering any remarks of their own. We’d decided in advance that I would handle this conversation, so it was my job to explain everything.

“Regarding those corpses,” I continued, “if they were found near the island’s southeastern shoreline, they’re more than likely the Disciples of demons. But if they were found near the port to the west, they were probably the angels’ Disciples instead.”

“You seem to have a very precise understanding of the situation, Sasaki.”

“Is that so? I figured you would have an even better understanding, sir.”

“What do you mean?”

“About that website recruiting participants in the proxy war,” I said, deciding to go ahead and ask him the thing I was most curious about. “Why didn’t the bureau take it down? If you gave the order, I’m certain our colleagues would have handled it posthaste.”

“……”

The section chief paused, then put a hand to his chin and stared across the table at us, never looking away. From his demeanor, I could sense how highly he regarded himself.

To be honest, I was a little scared of him. I met his gaze for what seemed like an eternity, enduring my fear and waiting for him to react.

His answer came several seconds later. “What would you say if I told you that your apartment neighbor was at the center of all of this?”

It seemed he had a clear understanding of what my neighbor and Abaddon had been up to. Thinking back, it was quite the coincidence. Any boss would suspect his subordinate in a situation like this. He probably had all sorts of groundless suspicions about how we’d gotten our hands on the two of them. But this time, it really was just a coincidence, so I wasn’t sure how to explain it.

“It was pure coincidence, sir. I’m just as surprised as you are.”

“You’re asking me to believe that?”

“You’ve investigated their backgrounds already, haven’t you?”

“……”

I was now certain. Mr. Akutsu knew about my neighbor and Abaddon’s situation. And he’d purposely left that website and the people behind it alone despite knowing what they were doing. But I still didn’t know what his position was in all this.

He probably wouldn’t answer me if I asked. He might even be the Disciple of an angel or a demon himself. Maybe my neighbor or Himegami could help me verify that.

“We have a proposition for you, Chief,” I said.

“A proposition?”

“We believe we know what the organizers are after. The individuals that concern them have expressed to us their desire to cease killing Disciples going forward. Of course, that does not apply in the event they are attacked and must defend themselves.”

“What do you want me to do with that information?”

“Would you negotiate with the organizers and ask them to rescind their orders to eliminate the specified targets in exchange for their restraint? As the proxy war has only just started and many Disciples are still active, I don’t believe it is in their best interests to make risky moves.”

“And what would I gain from this deal?”

“Perhaps you could frame it as good news, after the organizer’s failure on the island.”

“You want to ingratiate yourself to them?”

“No, not at all. As your subordinate, my success is your success.”

“……”

He was being quite direct. I got the feeling I was hearing his actual feelings on the matter. In exchange, I responded to all his questions frankly.

The section chief fell silent again, this time for even longer.

His gaze, however, remained locked on us, never straying. I wondered if he’d laugh if I made a funny face. I really wanted to try. But I swallowed this dangerous impulse and merely waited for him to answer.

When the second hand on the wall clock had made half a rotation, he finally resumed speaking.

“I can’t guarantee anything. If you’re all right with that, I’ll try talking to the higher-ups.”

“Thank you, sir. I’d very much appreciate it.”

If I took what the chief said at face value, it meant that whoever was in charge of the website was higher up the ladder than him. I naturally pictured the kind of people who served as executives at one large company after another—politicians from long lineages, famous investors, foreign despots, head ministers, and so on. If it were anyone less, the chief probably would have made us a firm promise.

“There is something else I wanted to talk to you about, sir, if possible,” I said.

“Something else?”

“One of the angels’ Disciples we encountered in the past is a boy named Himegami.”

“Yes, I’m aware.”

“Then as you likely already know, we’re using him as a spy to gain information on the angels. For that reason, I’d like you to spare him for the time being. The angel with him is quite weak. I don’t think they pose much of a threat to the other Disciples.”

“All right,” said the chief. “I’ll tell them that, too.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Our other option was to infiltrate the organizers’ group directly. But since Ms. Futarishizuka had already turned down their invitation, I figured it would be way too dangerous for a greenhorn like me to try my luck. She probably would have liked to play us both if she had the chance, and the fact that she hadn’t likely meant this group was bad news.

Besides, even if we did want to infiltrate, we’d need to know who their members were first. If, for example, we wound up in conflict with Captain Mason’s group, we could kiss our careers good-bye. This was also the reason I was the one negotiating with the boss instead of Ms. Futarishizuka. For the time being, I wanted to solidify my position as a bureau employee.

“That was quite harrowing,” said Futarishizuka. “My hair was standing on end just listening to you.”

“Actually, I would have expected this kind of thing to come from you instead, Futarishizuka,” said the section chief.

“I haven’t the foggiest what you mean.”

Now that our planned discussion had ended, Ms. Futarishizuka got in one of her jabs. To be honest, I still wasn’t sure what her position was in all this. I was afraid to pry and end up on her bad side. With the looming possibility she might undo Peeps’s curse and the prospect of her gaining other rewards from the proxy war, I wanted to maintain a strong relationship with her, at least for the time being.

She knew everything about us, so we’d be in real hot water if she switched sides. For that reason, I’d taken great pains right from the beginning to keep things amicable between us, and I suspected the section chief was the same. The whole situation reminded me of how cutthroat modern society was. I’d really like to flee to the otherworld and play with my horse again. Maybe riding lessons aren’t so bad.

“By the way, might I ask why she’s here today?” said the section chief as soon as there was a lull in the conversation. He was looking straight at Type Twelve, who was still sitting beside us.

She hadn’t said a word since we entered the conference room. Even now, she was still quietly sitting in her chair. I could tell how serious she was about her mission here. Aside from Miss Hoshizaki and my neighbor, she rarely ever showed consideration for mere humans. She must have been absolutely dead set on attending my neighbor’s school.

“She has an unrelated request for you,” I explained.

“Well, count me extremely interested.”

“I’ll let her explain things in detail, sir.”

That was why she was here, after all—to ask him herself. I looked over at her, and everyone else followed suit, including the chief.

Her face was impassive as always, like a blank mask. However, I sensed an unusual tension in her next words.

“Akutsu, I want you to let me attend school.”

“……”

For the third time that morning, the chief fell silent. He looked at us, completely befuddled. Type Twelve’s request had been so direct that he was struggling to gauge her true intentions. I could easily imagine him reading too deeply into the matter and ending up in a mental quagmire.

To be honest, his reaction made me pretty happy. All subordinates must love seeing their boss make this expression. I could see Futarishizuka smirking out of the corner of my eye.

“Sasaki, what is the meaning of this? Perhaps I’m too dull to understand. Would you explain it to me?”

“Mechanical life-forms never lie,” I said. “I think you can take what she says at face value.”

“And when she says school, she means an educational facility within Japan, yes?”

“Akutsu, your understanding is correct. I would like to enroll at the school Kurosu attends,” said Type Twelve, interrupting my conversation with the chief.

Her expression hadn’t changed, but from experience, I could tell she was growing increasingly excited. Another side effect of participating in our pretend family, I assumed.

At any rate, she’d learned that when it came to humans, hard work was rewarded.

“I understand your goal,” said the chief, turning back to her, “but not your reasoning. If you don’t mind, could you explain why you want to enroll in one of our country’s schools? I’d also like to know how you came to be interested in such a thing.”

As before, he was being especially polite with her.

She answered him immediately. “By attending school, humans acquire a grounding in social systems and how to participate in them. I would like to better understand the human race. And I have decided that there is value in using the school system for that purpose.”

This was all a front, of course. Unable to lie, she’d very skillfully concealed her true feelings.

“May I ask why you wish to understand the human race?”

“Interacting with humans is highly likely to benefit me at the present time.”

Because Type Twelve couldn’t lie, the way you phrased things was extremely important when communicating with her. If you hit her with yes-or-no questions, you could bypass the spin and draw some pretty alarming answers out of her.

“May I take this to mean that mechanical life-forms see humanity in a friendly light?”

“Your interpretation is incorrect. To mechanical life-forms, biological life-forms are no more than resources. If I were to use a more human example, I believe it would be correct to say that mechanical life-forms are biological life-forms’ natural predators.”

“……”

The section chief had asked a rather optimistic question, only to be shot down instantly. He glanced at the rest of us, clearly wanting to complain. I’m sorry, Chief. You did this to yourself. I could see Futarishizuka’s smirk growing wider by the second.

But in an unusual twist, Type Twelve decided to throw the baffled section chief a lifeline.

“However, the resources managed by mechanical life-forms come in many different grades,” she added quickly. “I have decided that using this point of contact to attend school will be advantageous to determining how valuable humans are as resources.”

Type Twelve was determined to go to school no matter what it took. All she really wanted was for other people to fawn over her. But hearing her talk to the chief, she almost sounded like a proper alien invader. It felt very strange, and I could see Miss Hoshizaki looking at her with a complicated expression.

Following Type Twelve’s explanation, the section chief fell silent. Then, after a few moments, he responded with a small nod.

“I understand,” he said.

“Then I ask for your decision at once.”

Could Mr. Akutsu make a decision like this on his own authority? As his subordinate, I wasn’t sure.

Japan was a country known for its cautious decision-making. I wouldn’t be surprised if something like this took several months of talks with his superiors. After all, if something went wrong later, they’d probably fire the first person who had approved the idea.

And yet our boss didn’t even hesitate. “All right. I’ll draw up paperwork for your enrollment today.”

“I hear that enrolling at a school in this country requires a family register,” she replied.

“If you want a Japanese family register as well, I can handle that. Please consult with Sasaki about the details. If you would prefer someone else, I would appreciate if you told me now.”

“Sasaki is acceptable.”

“Understood. I’ll inform you of my progress within the day.”

“Akutsu, that is an excellent decision. I am incredibly glad.”

“As a representative of Japan, I thank you for your kind words.”

This sort of exception had to be the result of an order from above. Naturally, I thought of the foreign military officer we’d been seeing a lot of lately. He’d come all the way to the amusement park the other day with Magical Blue in tow; there was little doubt he desperately wanted some kind of contact with Type Twelve. Her current proposition would no doubt have his mouth watering.

“Chief, a word?” I cut in. “Has Captain Mason said anything to you?”

“I won’t deny what you’re thinking, Sasaki. And if your words thus far are to be believed, I will continue to consider you a bureau employee first and foremost. As your boss, I hope to keep relying on you in the future.”

As far as I could tell, his orders were as follows: Keep Type Twelve on our side. But don’t start a fight with the captain, either. I felt certain he was caught in the middle of several different organizations right now.

“Yes, sir,” I said. “I’ll do my best to meet your expectations.”

“I look forward to it.”

“Well,” said Ms. Futarishizuka, “it looks like we won’t have to take care of things this time, at least.”

“What will happen with the pretend family?” asked Miss Hoshizaki.

“Oh, you know. After the kids and the husband go to school and work, it’ll be time to fall back asleep and then order in for lunch and watch some soaps. That’s what wives and mothers-in-law are supposed to do, right? We’ve been working far too hard lately.”

“We obviously can’t do that stuff on the clock. Could you quit joking around?”

“Actually, I was being completely serious.”

“And what do you mean by ‘watch some soaps’?”

“You’ve never heard of soap operas? Why, every housewife in Japan is into them.”

“Ms. Futarishizuka, no one watches soaps anymore,” I said. “I don’t even know if any are still running.”

“What? Are you serious?!”

“Yes. There aren’t many career homemakers anymore, either.”

“I’d like the three of you to keep up your work,” said the chief. “I’ll send detailed instructions this evening or tomorrow morning at the latest. For today, I want you all to stand by and maintain the status quo.”

“Yes, sir,” I replied.

I’d assumed he would agree, but it was a relief to have his approval.

It seemed Mr. Akutsu wanted us to continue our pretend family activities as usual until Type Twelve settled in at school. He probably hoped this would give him a means of negotiation should the alien have problems at school. Miss Hoshizaki might have to resume her own education as a result, however.

“Remember this well, Youngest Daughter,” said Ms. Futarishizuka. “When a corporate drone like your dear old dad works under a promotion-crazed superior, they end up with no time to spend with their family. It’s a leading cause of domestic problems.”

“I have indeed seen information to that effect here and there via Earth’s networks.”

“Please don’t feed non-employees baseless rumors, Futarishizuka,” said the chief.

In fact, this scenario was ideal for Peeps and me. Our hard work had paid off; I felt like we’d finally taken a step toward our goal of a laid-back, leisurely life.

I wasn’t interested in soaps, but I was all for going back to sleep after breakfast and surfing the internet all day. For lunch, Peeps and I could get takeout from all the most famous restaurants in Tokyo and compare their offerings.

Ah, I’m getting excited just thinking about it. It seemed like I’d finally get a break from all the modern world’s hustle and bustle.

“By the way,” said the chief, “I have a question for the mechanical life-form, if I may.”

“This is not a problem. Please confirm the contents of your question.”

“What would you like to put down as your full name on your family register?”

“I have previously given you my full name. To state this point of contact’s name in accordance with your language, it is Humanoid Point of Contact Type Twelve, based on Independently Operational Small Point of Contact Basic Design Three-Five-Seven-Eight-One, whose primary objective is to facilitate communication with local life-forms.”

“I suppose it would be possible to register you under that name. However, humanity’s ability to communicate information is not as advanced as that of mechanical life-forms. I believe it will be useful for your activities to have a last name.”

“…I see.”

Otherwise, it would probably take her more than a few minutes to write down her name on midterm exam sheets and the like. I remembered how much my own name—one character longer than average—used to irritate me when I was little.

“I would like to know the general method of assigning a last name when a parent in this country gives birth to a child.”

“The standard practice is for a child to take the same family name as the head of their household,” said Ms. Futarishizuka.

“Then I will make my last name Sasaki.”

“All right,” said the chief. “I’ll put Sasaki down as your last name.”

Type Twelve had just casually gained a new attribute. I wasn’t too bothered that she’d used my last name. After all, it was a very common name in Japan. That said, the fact that my position in the fake family had influenced her decision made me a bit uneasy.

“May I have a first name as well?” prompted the chief.

“I would like Mother to assign it.”

“Huh? Y-you mean me?” asked Miss Hoshizaki.

“The youngest daughter wishes to have a name given by her mother.”

“Right now? I need time to think…”

“Also, our dear senior has the taste of an old man,” Ms. Futarishizuka chimed in. “Might be a bad idea to ask her.”

“Hey! That… That isn’t true! I’m a totally normal high school girl!”

Personally, I thought her insistence made her even less convincing. But I wasn’t going to say that out loud.

“As long as the name is Mother’s idea, the youngest daughter does not mind one bit if it sounds like something an old man would choose.”

I doubted any human would know how to reply to that. Frankly, it sounded like sarcasm. Was she trying to be nice? She was not giving us nearly enough context clues to decide. I supposed that was to be expected from someone with level-1 emotions. That said, since mechanical life-forms didn’t lie, I decided to assume she meant well.

“Urk…”

It seemed the comment had hit Miss Hoshizaki pretty hard, however.

She had made a lot of comments that made her sound like an old man, though I wasn’t sure if it was a result of her inborn personality or because of her workplace environment. As such, I couldn’t think of a good way to help her out. And thanks to Type Twelve’s well-meaning but ill-phrased remark, Miss Hoshizaki wasn’t sure how to continue.

The silence was broken by our boss, who offered a compromise. “Then I’ll wait until this evening. Please contact me with a name by the end of the day.”

“Understood, Akutsu,” said Type Twelve. “When it has been decided, I will contact you immediately. I promise.”

“Thank you.”

Ignoring Miss Hoshizaki, who was trembling from embarrassment, the section chief got the meeting rolling once again.

Maybe my senior colleague’s unusual sensibilities were a side effect of the daily hardships of corporate life. Though I hadn’t known her long, that was how it appeared to me, at least.

“That will be all from me,” said the chief. “Are there any questions?” He looked around. Everyone stayed quiet. “Then let’s bring this meeting to a close.”

At the boss’s instruction, we left the conference room.

When we reached the area with our desks, Mr. Akutsu went straight to his seat. He quickly gathered up his things, threw on his coat, and headed out. He was probably off to discuss what we’d just talked about with his superiors or some other group of VIPs.

Meanwhile, his three subordinates headed for their desks.

Everyone in this area of the office was part of the same group. Desks were arranged based on job, with mine forming an island with Miss Hoshizaki’s and Ms. Futarishizuka’s. Our senior sat to my side, with Futarishizuka opposite me. The desk beside hers was empty.

Futarishizuka and I had sparse workspaces; neither of them held any personal possessions. Due to all the fieldwork we’d been blessed with, we hadn’t had the time to place so much as a box of tissues on them. Even our laptops, meant for clerical work, were tucked away in a drawer to the side.

Miss Hoshizaki’s desk, on the other hand, felt like it belonged to a veteran employee. She had a book stand piled with documents and files, plus a desk organizer containing things like a stapler and some ballpoint pens.

“What should we do now?” asked Miss Hoshizaki. “Do you two have any plans?”

“Well, we haven’t been to the office in a while,” I replied. “I wanted to do some of the clerical work that’s been piling up.”

“Thanks to this girl right here, we don’t have much time to come in,” Ms. Futarishizuka agreed. She glanced at Type Twelve, who was standing next to her desk.

The alien replied immediately. “If necessary, I can prepare a device for remotely connecting to this network from home.”

“That would definitely go against all the bureau’s security rules,” said Ms. Futarishizuka.

“Grandmother, your thinking is incorrect. There is zero chance that a human would be able to hack into a mechanical life-form’s network. In fact, you would be able to access bureau data far more safely than when using a third-party network.”

“No, no, that’s not what I’m saying.”

Type Twelve was suggesting a complete rehaul of government infrastructure. Just listening was making me nauseous. I was worried my stomach wasn’t going to make it through much more. Just how many meetings and approvals would something like that require?

“We better not insist on remote work, or we might wind up on Mr. Akutsu’s bad side,” I told Type Twelve. “Instead, I’d like to request use of your terminal as transportation going forward. That would cut out most of our commute time.”

“Understood. I will approve family use of my terminals.”

I sensed the other bureau employees in the office watching us while maintaining their distance. We really stood out. Ever since Ms. Futarishizuka joined our little team, very few of my colleagues ever wanted to talk to me. She was a rank-A psychic with a ToD assassination skill. And now that Miss Hoshizaki had a similarly dangerous ability up her sleeve, absolutely no one wanted to hang out with us. The two of them might as well have been walking around all day toting a gun with their finger already on the trigger.

“That aside, Father,” said Type Twelve.

“What is it?”

“I would like to thank you for successfully negotiating with Akutsu.”

“It was nothing. If you ever need something like that again, just tell me.”

“Father is unusually reliable and kind today. As your youngest daughter, I cannot conceal my confusion.”

“Is that so? I feel like I’m acting the same way I always do.”

“Normally, you team up with Grandmother and are harsh toward your youngest daughter.”

“I suppose you’ve got me there.”

Everyone in earshot of us began whispering among themselves. They knew Type Twelve was a mechanical life-form, but probably not that our current job was to play pretend family with her.

Just then, I thought of something. If I got closer to Type Twelve, I could pass some of Futarishizuka’s jobs on to her. At the moment, the Kepler Trading Company needed to maintain its radio equipment. With the mechanical life-form’s super-technology, things like that would be a piece of cake. In fact, I’d be able to offer even better solutions to my clients. If we wanted to, we could launch a satellite into space above the otherworld.

“My dear,” said Ms. Futarishizuka hastily, “you’re not thinking of abandoning little old me, are you?”

“What? Of course not. You’re the most dependable person I know.”

Man, she’s sharp. Futarishizuka glared at me from her desk like she wasn’t convinced. She also stretched her leg and started poking my shin with her toes. I wished she’d stop. She was so short the gesture had her practically under her desk.

“Father, if you wish to abandon Grandmother and live for Mother’s sake, the youngest daughter will agree to help you.”

“Let’s not introduce discord into the family, all right?” I replied. “I’d like to focus on everyone getting along.”

That said, Peeps and I would benefit greatly if we were able to split our otherworld stock requests between Futarishizuka and Type Twelve. Our current overdependence on Ms. Futarishizuka was a sore spot for both of us. I had no doubt the distinguished Java sparrow would agree to such a proposal.

“Oh, to be abandoned at this age by my own son!” lamented Ms. Futarishizuka. “It seems this old lady is destined to die a miserable death by the roadside.”

“Could you not say purposely misleading things in front of others?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m sure you’ll live longer than anyone else in our family,” said Miss Hoshizaki. “So I don’t know what you’re complaining about.”

“You think so?” replied Ms. Futarishizuka. “I feel like the youngest daughter and eldest son will long outlive me.”

This combination of deskwork and trivial banter continued for some time.

We’d been doing fieldwork nonstop for a while, and a lot of clerical tasks had piled up, so I decided to take care of them all in one go. Little by little, I entered data into the timekeeping system and reviewed and approved tasks we’d requested from other departments.

When I spotted an end-of-year party notification in my inbox, it made me reflect on the passage of time. I wondered if Miss Hoshizaki and Ms. Futarishizuka would participate. I’d have to ask them later. I would put off my response until then—though that was the worst possible thing you could do to an event’s organizer.

For a while, Type Twelve sat at the desk across from Miss Hoshizaki and observed her closely. “The data I collected refers to this activity as ‘taking your daughter to work,’” she explained.

Eventually, however, she seemed to grow tired of watching, and once our lunch break was over, she got up from her seat. In her words, she was going to do some maintenance on our household environment. Maybe the sight of her mother working so hard had inspired her to do some labor of her own.

Meanwhile, Miss Hoshizaki was spending a rather long time staring at her overtime application form as she wondered how to deal with the time we’d spent working inside isolated spaces.

Figuring all that out seemed like way too much trouble to me, so I’d simply logged my regular working hours. My days of being starved for cash were now firmly in the past. The gold I’d made in the otherworld was worth much, much more than my bureau paycheck. In fact, the only reason I was concerned about keeping my job was to preserve my status in Japan.

If the bureau fired me now, I’d be up the creek without a paddle. Even with my limited experience, I could understand that much. I also had Futarishizuka’s position to consider.

In the end, the three of us clocked out on time and headed home.