Sasaki and Peeps - Volume 6 - Chapter 1.0

<Unidentified Flying Object>

We were in a gorgeous building located on prime real estate in the city center, on the floor containing the Cabinet Office’s Paranormal Phenomena Countermeasure Bureau, inside one of the bureau’s meeting spaces.

The conference room spanned no more than ten square meters, with a single table at its center. Section Chief Akutsu sat at the other end, a laptop near at hand. Ms. Futarishizuka, myself, and Miss Hoshizaki were positioned across from him, in that order.

On one wall was a large screen displaying a video feed from Mr. Akutsu’s laptop. It showed a slide with a single photograph. The background was completely black—it looked like outer space. And in the foreground was an angular silhouette that didn’t look the least bit organic.

According to Mr. Akutsu, it was an unidentified flying object. And we’d been assigned a new task: to investigate it.

Plenty of other ministries and agencies in Japan, he told us, were already busy looking into it. In fact, if his explanation was true, the incident was causing chaos for a lot of other countries and organizations, too.

“Just when that giant monster finally disappears, we have a UFO on our hands, eh? We can’t seem to catch a break.”

I found myself sympathizing with Ms. Futarishizuka.

We’d had our hands full with ridiculous cases for a while now. At this point, my psyche had taken more of a beating than my body. It almost felt like someone was making us watch horror movies or jump-scare videos every waking hour of the day. Personally, I wanted a job that felt more like a cute animal video.

“I want the three of you working on this full-time for now,” said the section chief, looking at us from across the table.

It seemed likely he was telling the truth about receiving these orders from above. The word full-time was really making me feel the pressure.

“Surely, there are others who specialize in this sort of thing, hmm?” pointed out Ms. Futarishizuka. “Wouldn’t they do a more efficient job than our little on-site band here? If we’re not actually boarding the thing, I have a feeling the investigation would be better off in the hands of the appropriate departments.”

“They’re all already working on it,” he replied.

“Then why come to us as well?”

“Because, Futarishizuka, we can’t afford to be the only ones spectating.”

“Ah yes. The price of honest toil.”

Mr. Akutsu probably suspected we had something to do with the UFO. But considering how much he’d covered up in the past by abusing his authority, it probably seemed best to let sleeping dogs lie. I had a feeling that was why he kept dispatching us straightaway whenever something happened, just like with the sea monster.

“Understood, sir,” I said. “We’ll do what we can with these sightings for now.”

“I expect good things from you three,” he responded.

“That said, sir, we don’t currently have any leads.”

“You’re talented and resourceful, Sasaki. I’m sure something will turn up.”

“……”

The higher-ups were leaning on Mr. Akutsu again, it seemed. As his subordinate, I wasn’t exactly happy to be so relied upon.

“Chief, could I ask something?” Hoshizaki broke in.

“Go ahead, Hoshizaki.”

“Whenever I’m on the job with these two, we end up doing a lot of unplanned work at irregular hours. Should I be applying for overtime? And what about my punch card?”

“In the future, feel free to declare your overtime on your own initiative, including direct transit to and from the site.”

“Uh… R-really? Thank you!” Miss Hoshizaki’s face lit up, and she broke into a wide grin. Her overtime hours this month were going to be something else.

Bureau employees generally got hazard pay for outings like these. Our base pay was nothing to shake a stick at, but when you were out late several days in a row, you could apply an overtime multiplier; next month’s paycheck was shaping up to be exorbitant. I’d have to stay vigilant and avoid getting mixed up with anything else during the assignment.

“Any other questions?” asked Mr. Akutsu.

“Could we have the data on the locations and times of all sightings up to the present?” I asked.

“I’ll send it to your phones as soon as this meeting is over. And I’ll notify you of any future confirmed sightings, too—though, in some cases you might get the information quicker from social media.”

“Thank you, sir,” I said.

“What about you, Futarishizuka?”

“I can’t think of anything right now,” she replied.

“Then this meeting is adjourned. Your work starts today.”

And so, with the boss’s command, our meeting came to an end.

Leaving Mr. Akutsu in the office, we immediately headed out under the pretext of an investigation.

We made our way to Ms. Futarishizuka’s car, which was parked in the bureau’s lot, and piled in. Our destination was an Italian restaurant that had gained popularity on the internet in recent weeks. It was a little early for lunch, but according to our driver, the time it took to get down the smaller streets meant we’d arrive right as they opened.

As the car merged onto the road, Miss Hoshizaki immediately piped up from the back seat. “Hey, Sasaki, we didn’t really need to leave, did we?”

“What do you mean?” answered Ms. Futarishizuka. “Leaving the office is much more liberating, dear. Wouldn’t you say?”

“But aren’t we still on the clock? It’s not even lunchtime yet…”

Miss Hoshizaki was so earnest; it made her seem rather naive. In my peripheral vision, I could see her fidgeting uncomfortably.

Ms. Futarishizuka, on the other hand, was as underhanded as they came. “All in the name of investigation, hmm?” she said from the driver’s seat, throwing me a grin.

“I suppose so,” I replied.

Actually, I guess I’m no better. Any time you could manage to spend outside the office during work hours was precious. Lunching at a famous restaurant usually necessitated waiting in a long line, but our early departure had given us the opportunity to skip all that. It was an excellent proposal, to put it mildly.

The other adult in the car with a taste for indolence had begun whispering temptations into the purehearted high school girl’s ear. “I’m sure you’ve booked one of those prepaid card hotel plans on business trips before, hmm?”

“What? I don’t even know what that means.”

“You don’t? Are you sure? I mean those plans that include a prepaid card but don’t mention it in the receipt you give the company.”

“Well, my department always books my hotels for me, so…”

“Gaaagh! You’re missing out on the whole point of business trips!”

You check into your hotel, then head to a nearby convenience store. You bring your booze and snacks up to the counter—and then, shining upon you, a lone ray of hope: a QUO card, prepaid and ready to spend. I knew it well—that moment back in your single room, taking a swig of beer all by yourself and finding it’s far tastier than it has any right to be. Nothing beats an evening drink on the company tab.

But being the humble corporate drone that I was, I didn’t have the courage to own up to it. Instead, I chided her. “You can be very petty for someone so rich, you know.”

“My finances have nothing to do with it,” she objected. “No matter how much I have, I’ll still be frustrated if a mobile game doesn’t give me free gems in exchange for server downtime. It might persuade me to cheat on them with another company’s game for a while—or even to switch over entirely.”

“That’s a little different, don’t you think?” I said, hoping that one day I’d have the guts to admit I felt exactly the same. Though I’d heard that, in recent times, society had started taking a harsher view of such prepaid pleasures.

“Her aside,” said Miss Hoshizaki, “you’re something of a delinquent yourself, aren’t you, Sasaki? Though you always act so serious.”

“We have Mr. Akutsu’s permission this time,” I said. “In my humble opinion, it would be a waste not to take him up on it.”

“You mean when I asked him about overtime at the meeting?”

“I do.”

“I don’t think he intended us to go this far…”

“No, no! It was a license to roam free,” insisted Ms. Futarishizuka. “There’s no other way to look at it.”

I figured it was fine—we worked hard enough to deserve it. You had to take the opportunities for relaxation when they came, or you’d burn out. I was pretty sure Mr. Akutsu understood that, too.

“And you’re happy to be out and about, aren’t you, dear? Pays extra,” the driver pointed out.

“I, um, I guess I am. B-but I still think lying is wrong,” Miss Hoshizaki stammered.

“Oh, it’s not lying. It’s all part of the investigation.”

“There are things we can’t exactly discuss in the office,” I pointed out.

“I know that, but…”

Our number one reason for climbing into the car was to have secret exchanges like this one. We couldn’t talk openly in the office—that was Mr. Akutsu’s territory, and there was no telling where he may have planted cameras or bugs. It was certainly not because we were curious about this new Italian place with rave reviews.

I wonder if they have a take-out menu, I thought. Maybe I’ll get a treat for Peeps, too.

“I’m sure this is another visitor from your little vacation destination anyway, right?” said Ms. Futarishizuka, glancing at me.

“For once, I don’t think it is.”

“Oh? Very suspicious.”

“I’m going to ask Peeps tonight, but I doubt he’ll know, either. That’s why I’m worried about how we’re going to investigate. Not to quote you, but we can’t exactly board it.”

“I’m not so sure. That bird of yours might be able to pull it off, hmm? Couldn’t he use magic to send us flying through the sky?”

“To be perfectly honest, I wouldn’t put it past him.” He was the great and powerful Starsage, after all. A quick hop outside the atmosphere probably wouldn’t even wind him.

Unlike airplanes, flight magic wasn’t affected by the atmosphere—or lack of it. You could fly around wherever you wanted. And you could stay up there for a pretty long time, too, depending on how much magic power you had. If you could preserve air pressure and temperature as you went up, it might be possible, assuming you had a supply of oxygen to breathe.

Given how he’d blocked the octodragon’s radiation with barrier magic, I expected he could do something similar to hold all the space radiation outside the atmosphere at bay. It could potentially take some time, but a game of tag with the UFO might not be so unrealistic.

“Still, we never know who’s watching,” I pointed out.

“It’s gotten pretty crowded up there lately with all the satellites,” Miss Hoshizaki agreed.

“Right. So I’d like to approach this investigation from a more common-sense angle.”

“As long as it sounds good on our report to the boss,” agreed Ms. Futarishizuka. “If he’s trying to please his own superiors, I’m sure he’ll be happier if we make it sound like we accomplished something. Though I’ve no clue what other departments he’s competing with.”

“Indeed…”

Facing forward, Ms. Futarishizuka kept her hands on the wheel. As I watched her from the side, I suddenly thought of something—the radio equipment being put to use in the otherworld.

“Could we possibly try communicating with the ship?” I suggested.

“I’m fairly certain plenty have tried already,” she said.

“I suppose you’re right.”

“But we mustn’t be so fussy that we don’t do anything. We may as well give it a try.”

“Then why not tonight? We can grab one of the spares from our supply; they should be functional enough. We may have to consult with the bureau in advance regarding output strength and call signs, though.”

“Oh? Sounds like you’ve had your nose in a few books,” said Ms. Futarishizuka.

“With all the radio business lately, I figured I could use a hobby.”

My casual response earned a smile from the driver. I had a feeling I’d just won a few points with her; she was probably happy I’d taken a shine to one of her interests. Good thing I looked through a couple of amateur radio manuals in my spare time, I thought.

Here in Japan, amateur radio was once called the king of all hobbies. At its zenith, around 1,360,000 radio stations called this nation their home. At the time, the US had about 650,000, and Germany, in third place, had about 70,000. The numbers alone speak to how many radio waves Japanese people sent across the globe. Now, however, Japan’s 390,000 or so current stations pale in comparison to the US’s 780,000.

“I say we give it the old college try,” said Ms. Futarishizuka.

“I agree!” chimed in Miss Hoshizaki. Her face lit up as soon as we started scheduling work for our off-hours—I could practically see the sparkles in her eyes through the rearview mirror. She’d broken into a broad smile, already blessed with the opportunity to rack up some overtime on day one.

Considering her younger sister was waiting for her back home, I didn’t want to keep her with us for too long. But she’d always been more than happy to work late into the night, so I figured their home life was pretty rough to begin with.

“Have either of you checked the data the boss sent?” Ms. Futarishizuka asked.

“I thought we could take our time going over it later,” I said.

“Yeah,” agreed Miss Hoshizaki. “There’s so much of it, it’s hard to read on our tiny smartphone screens.”

“Exactly,” I agreed.

As far as I could ascertain from a cursory glance, the chief’s data contained over a hundred eyewitness reports. If we wanted to plot each one on a map, that alone would probably take almost an hour. I looked over the spreadsheet and its long line of cells filled with latitudes and longitudes. Imagining copying and pasting all that into a map application was making me feel dizzy. Back at my previous job, we hated working with government agencies—it always involved super-annoying tasks like this.

“I wonder if there’s any patterns,” mused Miss Hoshizaki aloud.

“If we analyze all the locations and times it’s appeared, we may see something,” I said.

“Wouldn’t the department at the bureau in charge of these things have a leg up on us?” said Ms. Futarishizuka. “We can try all we want, but we’ll never stand a chance against experts with expensive supercomputers.”

“I’d rather you not drain our enthusiasm,” I replied. “Not when we just came up with something.”

“It’s the truth, though.”

“Well, let’s just do what we can.” Nobody was expecting spectacular results from us this time. I figured we could relax and take it slow.

“Oh, that’s right,” said Ms. Futarishizuka. “I just remembered something I had to tell you.”

“What is it?”

“The girlie who moved in next door to me will be starting school today.”

“You’re always so quick and efficient at these things.”

“Well, if she waited too long, she’d fall behind in class. Whatever happens in the future, I at least want her to have a satisfying time at middle school. Of course, different schools progress at different paces, so a few days off might not mean anything.”

“I truly appreciate how considerate you’re being.”

“Oh, come now,” she replied, a smirk forming on her lips. “It’s really nothing.”

She definitely wanted to place us and my neighbor in her debt. Still, she was helping us out a lot, so I wasn’t about to complain.

“I could even get her a private tutor,” she added.

“If that’s something she wants, we should keep it in mind as an option,” I told her.

“Are you sure?” she asked. “How would you feel about being cucked by some hot young tutor?”

“You may look like a child on the outside, Futarishizuka,” muttered Miss Hoshizaki, “but you’re one hundred percent dirty old man in there.”

“Oh, come now. There’s nothing odd about that, surely?” she replied. “It happens all the time in manga and on TV.”

“Excuse me,” I said, “but do topics like these come up a lot when women are talking to each other? Like during girls’ nights? I mean, guys are always talking dirty, I suppose, but…”

“How should I know?” retorted Miss Hoshizaki. “I’ve never done stuff like that.”

“Ah, the friendless introvert character. Must be rough,” said Ms. Futarishizuka.

“Sh-shut up! I’m trying to focus on my career!”

And so we passed the car ride chatting about this and that, keeping work-related conversation to a minimum.