Forty-Second Chapter
The Density of Silence
Two weeks had passed since the elimination of the Devourer.
At the moment, the other six nations were taking over the defense of Balmes. Meanwhile, there were regular meetings between the various nations’ rulers and Governors-General regarding the handling of affairs.
The biggest topic was the defense of Balmes, which had lost most of its Magicmasters. As a means to alleviate the problem, dispatching Magicmasters from the other nations was proposed, and was immediately brought to a vote that was unanimously agreed upon.
The Magicmasters wouldn’t include any Singles, but would instead be made up of a number of Doubles to keep up a certain standard. They would defend Balmes for the time being.
After a discussion with the various rulers, it was decided that Balmes’ ruler Holtal Qui Balmes would be forced to abdicate from his position, with his blood relatives losing any right of inheritance.
Gagareed was court-martialed for his crimes, but thanks to Alpha working behind the scenes, he avoided the death penalty. He would never return to the military, spending the rest of his life in a remote region as a relatively lenient punishment.
A suitable candidate for a replacement ruler was selected from the royalty of the old Rohm kingdom. And the next Governor-General would be the female general who had attended the Friendship Magical Tournament with Holtal. Nilhinn Corder was in her mid-50s, with thirty years of military service under her belt. She was popular within the military and was hailed as a moderate. As a pure noble, there were no objections to her new role.
Normally it was the ruler who appointed the Governor-General, but it would take some time to appoint a ruler, so a special exception was made.
And with that... the aftermath was dealt with. The high officials and Singles of the various nations returned home.
Balmes had been struck by a grave incident, but that was all the more reason to strengthen the defenses in their own nations.
As a result, the only Single to remain in Balmes... was Alus. The reason was that he still hadn’t woken up, and due to his condition, it wasn’t easy to move him. The healing Magicmasters who had assisted Nexolis returned to their own nations as well, leaving the emergency room eerily silent.
Alus lay on top of the bed, quietly continuing to sleep. The room was pure white, and, with the exception of the magic circle, looked like a regular hospital room. Though it might edge out such, thanks to the lack of chemical smells.
That said, there was no melancholic feel to it because of the people coming in to check on him at regular intervals, as well as the faintly glowing magic formula.
A dry breeze blew in from the window, making the curtains flutter. And a refreshing fragrance came from the fruit brought by someone who came by each day.
Complete silence filled the room, and time passed peacefully.
Suddenly, Alus’ hair was brushed by a playful wind. A visitor had arrived.
The door quietly slid open, and she took care to not let her footsteps make any sound. She didn’t knock because she knew no one else was inside. It seemed she was careful not to make noise out of concern for Alus, but unfortunately she couldn’t hide the sounds her crutches made.
The girl, Loki, had visited at the same time every morning since she’d woken up. That said, there was nothing she could do but sit at Alus’ side. But she loyally continued to do so as if it were her duty as his partner. She even volunteered to do the simple tasks such as taking his temperature and pulse.
With silent but unsteady steps, she made her way to Alus’ bed, as her silver hair fluttered. And then, like always, she sat down on a stool next to the bed, and bent over to peer at his face.
Her injuries should have healed to the point that she could walk without assistance, but Loki was reluctant to stop using the crutches. It was as though she was scared that this would mean she’d have to return to Alpha and leave Alus behind.
When she’d first woken up, she had worried more about Alus than herself. She’d calmed down a bit by now, but she was still uneasy. Most of all, she wanted someone to be here when Alus woke up. And if possible, she wanted to be that someone.
That was why Loki stayed at Alus’ side each day.
“Sir Alus, if you don’t hurry and wake up... you won’t have enough attendance days.” Today, too, she called out to him about trivial topics. And as always, there was no reply.
Loki shook her head in denial, as the fear that he might not ever wake up came to her again. She’d lost count of how many times that thought had appeared in her head. In the silent room, the only thing that managed to calm her down was Alus’ breathing.
She’d been told he’d wake up someday... but as the days passed, she grew increasingly restless. When would that day come? And would he actually wake up? Maybe the treatment being a success was a lie?
“Sir Alus... at this rate I really will...” She was on the verge of being unable to forgive anyone. The military and their reliance on him, the ruler who’d forced this danger on him, Lettie and Rinne who hadn’t made it in time. And most of all, herself for being unable to do anything.
All she could do was let it out with a heavy sigh. But that wasn’t going to wake Alus up.
She dreamed of being able to talk about nothing in particular with him one more time. His naivety and the fact that one could take advantage of that didn’t matter to her anymore.
Alus had been like a different person ever since he’d enrolled at the Institute. That had felt incredibly off to her, but now, it was just a tiny problem. She’d realized that it didn’t matter what she felt; instead, the important thing was how it would help Alus. If it was a good thing for Alus, then she wouldn’t say anything about it.
By now she wanted to see how Alus would change and how his future would pan out. She wanted to believe that the time they spent together would continue into tomorrow, and into the future...
“Please wake up, Sir Alus.”
Alus was in a deep slumber, as if recovering from all of the deep wounds his soul had sustained... and Loki gave him a smile. As his partner, she did what she could to force a smile and not show the emotions welling up inside of her.
Maybe it was because Frose had given her a push at the party. Or perhaps it was because she’d finally obeyed her heart and taken action. While she was frustrated by her own uselessness, if it wasn’t for that decision, she would have felt even more regret.
With all of her emotions coming up, Loki’s self-control broke down, and the selfish thoughts she’d tucked away in her small chest began leaking out. The stool wavered as she leaned over, resting her arms on the edge of the bed. She put her head on her arms, rubbing her face against them.
As the blowing wind came in, Loki put her feelings into words. Nobody was listening, but she continued, her eyes not on Alus’ face but on his feet. “Please don’t leave me alone again... don’t take away the meaning of my life... please don’t push me away.”
She spat out her every grieving thought, but to her it was nothing but selfishness. They were things meant to be kept inside, and disappear with the passage of time. But she never imagined that her feelings would tighten her heart like this. That’s why... if she could just let it all out once, she’d be able to return to her usual self tomorrow. No matter what she might say, nobody could fault her if there wasn’t anyone around to hear her words. They would simply disappear with the wind.
Once the decision was made, there was no stopping it. And her mouth continued to move. Her lips quivered, but one by one she put the feelings she’d kept tightly locked up inside into words. At the same time, she put everything that had happened between her and Alus in order. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t be able to process it properly.
The work was similar to a little girl weaving her own story into fantasies. It was the story of why Alus was still fast asleep. She made up a suitable villain as a scapegoat and blamed them for everything. However... she was aware that she was part of that villain. That powerlessness and helplessness were Loki’s own unforgivable sins.
Finally, Loki’s lips, which had been telling this story, closed. In the middle of the story, she recalled a certain scene, causing her expression to change into one of joy. “So you remembered...” she muttered.
Alus had remembered the day they first met, the day she had experienced living hell. “I thought you had forgotten. No, you didn’t have to remember it in the first place. To you it was a trivial event, one of the countless missions you accomplished... That’s why...” Loki’s hair fell into her eyes, covering them and the feelings she showed in them. Her throat and lips trembled.
She cleared her throat... and then continued, “That’s why you never had to show me any consideration. With just a single order, I would gladly be your shield or buy time or anything you say. That’s all you had to think of me as... so why didn’t you do that...?!”
She let out her selfish words, and put on a dry smile. Her self-ridiculing laugh made it clear that she understood the reason better than anyone.
Just like then... he wouldn’t forgive that. She’d understood that from the start. Having lost her parents and any hope, the only thing she had left was her trifling life, which she wanted to spend for his sake... that was the only reason she’d worked so hard.
It had been the case then, too. During their first meeting, Loki might have seen exactly what kind of person Alus was. That was why she didn’t hesitate to sacrifice her life, and why she had been able to push forward. It was all because Alus was Alus. If her life could be of any use to him, she could die with a smile on her face.
“I tried my best. Desperately, so desperately... I didn’t need someone to acknowledge that. The thought of not being at your side was simply too painful.”
That was the only way she could see any worth in herself. And not even Loki could stop the words coming out of her mouth. She grabbed hold of the bed sheet in frustration. Her emotions were running out of control and her eyes were threatening to get wet. Everything that was pent up inside her was trying to burst out. Her voice quaked.
“... I won’t let that happen.”
The voice swept in like a fresh breeze, sounding more gentle than anything, though it coldly rejected her deepest desire. Just the voice alone made her heart want to scream. Those unfair words, that voice, filled her with an almost infinite happiness.
She wanted to see his face as soon as possible, but at the same time she couldn’t bring herself to look up. Everything she’d desperately held back wet her downcast eyes, and made her small shoulders tremble.
However, Alus easily undid Loki’s control as his hand moved to stroke her silken silver hair as usual. For each stroke, the bulwark around her heart crumbled further. And all Loki could do was sob.
She sobbed uncontrollably, unable to show Alus the mess that was her face. All kinds of feelings whirled within her. Finally warm tears started running as the dam burst. “... Sir Alus, am I of no use to you?”
“That’s not true. You’re a big help.”
“... Sir Alus, I learned how to use Force.”
“Yeah, I saw.”
While Loki expressed everything she’d held back, Alus simply patted her head. But her next words made him stop for a moment.
“... Sir Alus, I can even use Naruikazuchi properly now.”
“I-I see. You did good.” With a bitter smile, he somehow managed to keep a calm front, telling her what she wanted to hear. That was of course out of the ordinary, but it wasn’t exactly in the realm of the unreachable... though he couldn’t say that in this atmosphere.
“I’ll work even harder, so please let me stay at your side.”
Each and every tearful word had weight to it, and hit Alus directly. “Well, it appears I’ve still got much to learn myself... this incident really brought that point home. You really saved me this time. Thank you... Keep it up in the future too,” Alus said, and closed his eyes.
This was the result of having fought alone. Having fought on the battlefield without rest, he’d lost something. It was only a vague feeling, but it felt like it was an irreplaceable vital piece. And it was unclear if he’d ever be able to get it back.
Alus slowly raised his upper body, prompting Loki to straighten her posture. She rubbed her eyes, violently wiping the tears away. Her eyes were red, but contained an unshakable determination, making them look even more beautiful than usual.
“Sir Alus! Can you promise me something?” Loki stared straight at Alus with more resolve than when she’d asked to become his partner.
“If it’s something I can do.” Alus unhesitatingly nodded. He wore a sincere expression. At this point, he wasn’t going to balk at any promise. “You really saved me this time around, so I guess you could say we’re even now.”
“That’s not... they could never compare!!” Loki immediately denied this, as if to say that nothing between them could ever compare. Ever since that day, she’d devoted everything to Alus. That meant more than the world to her. Her face was flushed and her body was stiff.
“So, what’s the promise?” Alus looked at her with a wry smile. He did have some concern over what she was thinking, but he wasn’t planning on going back on his word now.
Loki let out a sharp breath. The curtains fluttered as wind blew into the room. As her silver hair was rustled by the breeze, she gave him a faint smile. “Please don’t die before me.”
If the world were normal, those were words an elderly couple might exchange near the end of their lives. However, Magicmasters fighting on the frontlines easily lost their lives in this uncertain world. Her words were heavy, laden with her desire. Nothing could make her happier than that. That was why they were so heavy.
And Alus fully understood the meaning behind them. However—“All right, I promise.” If that’s what she wanted... he would do what he could to fulfill it. After all...
“Of course... you saved me, so you have a duty to live longer than me no matter what, Sir Alus,” Loki said, with an exceedingly beautiful smile. “Besides... there’s one thing I’ve understood after this.”
Her cheeks red, she continued after a short pause, “And that is that I can’t stand living in a world without you.”
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