Ryuuou no Oshigoto! - Volume 10 - Chapter 4.4

  PLEASE, GIVE ME WINGS

Honestly, I don’t remember much after 7 Six Knight.

The only image I can recall in stark detail is that of the little girl on the other side of the board sprouting two wings from her back.

I didn’t want to see that.

–––My name, Tsubasa, means “wings” but …… They’re the one thing I never could have.

So, I erased them.

I even pulled back the Gold I used to corner the enemy King.

–––But …… I lost do’en that.

Even so, I held out as long as I could during one-minute Shogi. I couldn’t give up all the way until the very last move. It’s an ugly after effect of the 10 years I squandered sputtering in the Sub League.

Despite my best efforts, the angel looked down on me from on high and effortlessly checkmated my King.

“…… Aghh …………”

–––I’da been play’en free, if only I had wings like those.

A mix of envy and regret fills my heart.

In the end, I admit defeat more than 30 moves after 7 Six Knight.

“Thank you for the match.”

–––It’s over …… now ……

At long last, I can face true death. The death I’ve yearned for more than anything.

The review session is surprisingly lively.

The large group of children who came to observe (apparently classmates of Miss Hinatsuru and the Practice League girl who worked as the match recorder) surround us in a big group and ask me questions about not just the late game transformation, but also about being a Women’s League Player.

“Why did you start playing Shogi?” “What’s the reason you became a Pro?” “What does it feel like when you lose?” “What kind of Shogi do you want to play?”

Questions that would have gouged out my heart if asked by an adult strangely enough are easy to answer when asked by children.

Once the questions were done, the children see me off with applause.

Their teacher, not too much older than myself, catches up to me right in front of the elevator and bows from the waist right before my eyes.

“Thank you for taking the time to speak with my students after such a long match! They have yet to learn the meaning of restraint, so I sincerely apologize for all those rude questions …… But, I truly believe today was a valuable experience for all of them. A few have even told me they want to be Shogi Players just like you and Miss Hinatsuru ……”

“No, ’s all right …… Was a good experience for me, too.”

If my Shogi was useful to anyone, I’m satisfied with that.

Those thoughts in my head, I step inside the elevator and go down to the first floor.

There, a reunion is waiting for me.

“Huh?”

People who shouldn’t be at the Kansai Shogi Association are here.

People who did practice sessions with my older brother apprentice and I, people who fought, lost, and left Sub League like me.

People who I used to research with but haven’t heard from once since then are here.

“E-E- …… Everyone? Why are ……?”

I stutter, unable to organize my thoughts when one of them vaguely answers.

“Why ……? Just because?”

“We didn’t plan this. It just naturally happened.”

“Win and you’d be in the Women’s Legend League, right? I was curious and ended up coming all the way to Kansai beside myself!”

It wasn’t just my former research partners.

“Hatomachi-sensei, too ……?!”

A Kanto Sub League Director.

The very person who guided me into the Women’s League says that he requested his own match take place in Kansai so he would have an opportunity to see me play.

What’s more, today wasn’t his first time doing so.

“You’ve been avoiding talking to anyone at the Kanto Association these days. I thought I’d get a chance to say hello if I just waited until the match finished up, but a repetition draw into an intense match like that? You were so, so close!”

“Sorry …… I’m so sorry …………!” 

Not moving from the spot, I clench my eyes closed as hard as I can.

“I-I …………”

I put the realization that had been slowly coming to me since the middle of the match into words.

“I, I don’t want ………… to quit playing Shogi ……!!”

Hitting the Sub League’s age limit. Transferring to the Women’s League, where only women can play.

At first, I thought the system was cruel beyond words.

Why didn’t they just sever lingering attachments with one clean cut? If they’re going to kill us off anyway, I thought a quick death would have been merciful.

I could never look the people who had left the Sub League in the face again …… I was too ashamed, felt too guilty.

That’s why I know I should never, ever say this, but ……!

“But, today …… I finally realized it. Realized just how much I love Shogi …… What kind of Shogi I wanted to play ……”

–––I started playing Shogi because I loved it.

“I saw, I felt, incredible Shogi today ………… And, I want to play that way, too.”

–––The reason I wanted to become a Professional was because I love Shogi.

“When I was in Sub League, I played to survive even one day longer, but …… If there is a different kind of Shogi …… I want to play that way!”

–––Losing is heart-wrenching.

“It might not be possible, but I don’t want to give up before trying …… So ……”

–––And, my fingertips remember …… the Shogi I want to play.

“So ……………… I don’t, want to quit …………”

I know it’s selfish of me.

I realize how rude and harsh it is to say that in front of these people who were forced off the Shogi path.

Of course, they’ll be angry and yell at me.

I close my eyes and brace myself for what they’re about to say–––.

“All of us already knew that.”

Huh ……?

“Just looking at your Shogi, Tsubasa, it’s obvious. No one in the Sub League, heck, no one in the world plays Shogi that practically yells ‘I don’t want to lose!’ ‘I don’t want to quit’ like yours does.”

Stunned, I watch as all of them nod.

And …… They start adding shyly.

“It’s all because you kept playing that I don’t hate Shogi right now.”

“Same here. I kept an eye on the blog because I wanted to see how you were doing.”

“I get to brag all because you’re still going strong, Tsubasa. I can point at the paper and say, ‘That Tsubasa Gakumeki there? I beat her back in the day!’ That way, it feels like I got something out of my time in the Sub League.”

All these kind words are just too unbelievable, and I open my mouth to protest.

“B-But ……! But …………… Everyone who came here today might say so, but ……. My older brother apprentice …… I just know …… He has a grudge against me ……”

“A grudge? Not even close! He’s the one that’s been worried about you the most.”

Worr …… ied ……?

“You should’ve seen him when he found out you were going to be doing an event. ‘Will she be able to keep up the Tokyo accent?’ ‘Has she done an instructional match before?’ You name it. I tried to stop him, telling him that he’d only get in the way, but the guy went anyway. He even used one of his precious vacation days in the middle of getting adjusted to his new company.”

Once I hear those words––––––a world that had been closed off to me starts to crack.

Blinding light bursts through that crack.

It’s just so strong …… My eyes tear up.

“Even took a half-day today to come all the way to Osaka. What an idiot …… Not that I can say anything, haha!”

“Looking back on it, life was easier in the Sub League because Shogi was all I had to think about. My 9-to-5 desk job takes so much out of me that playing Shogi is out of the question.”

“Who’s got time for standards or research? ‘Why do I have to spend my days off playing Shogi with someone else’s knowledge?!’ Sounds silly now, doesn’t it?”

“Pro matches are pretty boring, don’t you think?”

Hatomachi-sensei frowns, interjecting “Hey now, that’s not something to say in front of a Pro!” before clutching his ribs with laughter.

Just as the chuckling dies down.

“Oh? Speaking of you know who, he’s here.”

“! ………… B- ……… Big …………!” 

Tears flow out of my eyes and show no signs of stopping.

That’s why I can only just recognize him.

My older brother apprentice, holding his suit jacket over his shoulder and soaked with sweat running into the Kansai Shogi Association.