5
And that was how the Stargazing Party began, light and cheerful.
In name, the soiree was to celebrate friendship and solidarity, but none of the specific activities fulfilled much celebratory purpose. If forced to describe it, Subaru would say this was a celebration for victory over the demon beasts and the recovery of those wounded in the crisis.
The dishes lined up in a row on the table were more extravagant than usual. Naturally, it wasn’t the case that Rem slacked off on her cooking otherwise, but tonight’s fare held a special flavor.
Licking their lips over every dish, the party guests looked up at the stars and enjoyed some light drinking. The drinking party beneath the flowering cherry blossoms never came to fruition, but the panoramic view of the night sky from the balcony provided a glittering display that held its own against any cherry trees.
The air was crisp, and the sky was clear, not a cloud in sight. The perfect conditions for a night of stargazing had converged—it was the ideal situation for a starry drink. Being named after the Pleiades star cluster himself, Subaru was excited to share the surprising wealth of astral trivia he held.
However—
“Hmmm? What’s wrong, Shubaru? You sheem sho…ahaha, you look really weird. And there’s sho many of you too—no fair. All the Shubarus are gonna hog all the desherts to themshelves.”
“I look weird? That hurts—and there’s only one of me! Argh, Emilia-tan, you’re hopeless. Look at how much you’ve spilled…”
Emilia leaned coquettishly against Subaru, her face bright red with a cheerful smile. As Subaru tried to placate her, she pouted and downed the rest of her glass’s contents in one swig. The amber liquid slipped through her sakura-colored lips, gurgling softly in her throat as a hot sigh escaped her mouth.
“Mmyum…liquor’s yummy. Why’d you all keep thish a shecret from me? Tha’s mean. You all shneaked behind my back…shneaked? Yeah, you shneaked—ee-hee-hee!”
“Oh god, why are you so damn cute!”
Emilia had slumped onto the balcony floor, topping off her own glass with more liquor. She already had a row of empty bottles beside her, showing that her alcohol tolerance was rather high.
(Though it could also be argued that while she hadn’t passed out yet, she still got drunk impressively quick.)
“I can’t say this isn’t how I imagined things would unfold or how you would act, but you’re more than just a lightweight—you’re a bad drunk, Emilia-tan.”
From all their interactions thus far, Subaru had concluded that Emilia would either hold her liquor very well or not very well at all, and the verdict was crystal clear: She was a lightweight. A lightweight might strip, barf, or bother people—thankfully, it hadn’t escalated to that yet, and she remained a cute drunk.
(Though it could also be argued that the fact that she wouldn’t stop drinking if people offered made her fairly bothersome already.)
“If I had my way, I’d force her to stop drinking and sing her to sleep with some lullabies…”
But Subaru had circumstances preventing him from stopping Emilia—her sexily draping herself over him, for one. For another, he very simply could not move from his spot.
And as for why—
“Oh, Subaruuu?”
“Yes, Rem? May I help you, ma’am?”
“Glomp.”
“Sorry, ma’am, but you’re hurting me.”
As Subaru sat cross-legged on the balcony floor, Rem was lying beside him, using his knee as a pillow. Though she wore her usual emotionless expression, the redness of her complexion alone was enough to raise concerns.
And as for Rem, her movements were few and sluggish. The devil of alcohol hadn’t influenced her too badly, aside from an impulsive chomp on Subaru’s thigh when she remembered the existence of it.
Though, it was questionable whether all of this was the fault of alcohol. While Rem was definitely intoxicated, unlike Emilia, she hadn’t had a sip of alcohol.
“Assuming you didn’t get drunk off excitement, you must’ve gotten drunk off the smell of alcohol, of all things. But if that’s the case, what happens when you use wine in cooking? And you also pour wine for Rozchi sometimes.”
For that matter, she was the one who had distributed the glasses of liquor at the start of the party. When pressed with all of Subaru’s questions, Rem lifted just her head slightly off Subaru’s knee and said, “Don’ make fun a me Subaru…Subaru…Subaru…”
“You’re calling my name three times… Um, why is that?”
“My work’s impornant, so I al’ays stay vigilan’. Bu’ today, I’m leddin’ m’self loose ’cos issa party.”
Her expression was clear, but her speech was not only strange but illogical. She then cut herself off mid-thought, flung her arms around Subaru’s waist, and pushed her head into his stomach. It was a fierce display of clinginess, but she, too, was clearly completely drunk. Subaru was stunned by the unexpected occurrence, but he indulged Rem with some head pats. Rem purred happily in turn.
“Are you a cat?! You’re supposed to be an Oni…” Subaru then craned his neck in sudden confusion. “For that matter, Oni are supposed to hold their liquor well. But I guess that bit of lore is different in other worlds.”
Then Ram’s voice answered from behind him. “I don’t know what you’re comparing us to, but members of the Oni tribe do hold their liquor well compared to other species. I often participated in drinking contests at parties with adults when I was a child.”
“Gee, thanks for confessing to your underage drinking, Ram. I don’t mean to impose my views on Oni cultural norms, but…your complexion and speech sure haven’t gotten questionable.”
“But of course. My tolerance is in a league of its own.”
Subaru turned his head to see Ram sitting in a chair, elegantly pouring herself a glass of liquor. Though she wore a maid’s uniform, the abundant grace of her gestures was the epitome of aristocracy. Her abnormally sturdy self-confidence and infernally dignified presence were what gave that impression.
And this aristocratic Ram frowned at the sight of Rem with her arms around Subaru’s waist and said, “Rem seems to be enjoying her liquor. How truly adorable.”
“I wouldn’t say ‘enjoying’… Well, she looks like she’s enjoying the evening more than anything, but the only thing Rem is drunk on at the moment is vibes. She hasn’t had a sip of liquor and look at her. Did Rem ever get like this at parties in your village?”
“My sister and I…we were in a complicated position. Besides, I wanted to keep Rem away from adult parties.”
When Ram averted her eyes, Subaru hesitated to ask a follow-up question. Only the other day had he heard what had happened to their horns. Talk of the twins’ hometown was probably taboo.
Subaru hoped that he had thoughtlessly brought up the subject because the alcohol had dulled his sense of judgement.
But as a matter of fact, though it was difficult for the others to tell, Subaru had also drunk quite a lot of liquor that evening.
He had hoped that with a little alcohol in their systems, Emilia and Rem would blossom into newer, more alluring versions of themselves—but tragically, it turned out that Subaru held his liquor well. And he could still read the room, due to his inability to get drunk. He was utterly exasperated by his own genetic predisposition.
“Turns out not all alcohol tastes bad after all… But the only things I gained from this evening is that, and the lesson that you should never carelessly offer a girl a drink.”
“I feel like that’s only true in extreme cases,” Ram said, tipping her glass to her lips. It was astonishing just how many empty bottles were strewn about her. Her Oni nature was on full display, not in supernatural powers, but in behavior and constitution.
“So Ram is a heavy drinker, just like I thought.” Subaru’s eyes turned to the party hall. “So what about the others—dang, check out Puck.”
Subaru’s eyes shot open when he saw Puck on the table. All his posturing of not letting Emilia have a drop of liquor long forgotten, he was now enjoying a soak in a bowl filled with liquor. Roswaal sat across from him, chatting spiritedly with a wine cup in hand, showing a glimpse of the surprisingly good relationship between the spirit and the chief mage of the royal court.
And then, after his eyes scanned the room for a certain small silhouette—
“Ah! Beako, you little rascal.”
He found Beatrice seated on the deserted railing of the balcony, her sausage curls swaying in the breeze. Seeing the pensive, lonely look on the side of her face, Subaru sighed to himself and said, “Welp, guess I’ll go tease her a little. Emilia-tan, sorry, but take care of Rem for me.”
“Hmmm? Mm-hm, okay. C’mon, Rem, come to meeee! Mm-hm-hm, you’re really cuuuute!”
Subaru carefully untangled himself from the glazed-eyed Rem’s embrace and leaned her against Emilia. When Rem didn’t struggle and leaned freely into Emilia’s arms, the half-elf gleefully cuddled her close, gently caressing her blue hair, and nuzzling her cheek against Rem’s.
“I wanna take a picture so bad…” Subaru whined with painful reluctance.
“I’ll burn the image into my eyelids,” Ram said, nodding reassuringly.
Entrusting the image to Ram’s memory, Subaru headed to the balcony railing where Beatrice sat all alone, quietly looking up at the stars. Subaru sat beside her on the railing, smiled at her, and said, “Don’t be a wallflower. It kills me seeing you all alone like this.”
“Gratuitous slander, I suppose. And I didn’t ask for your sympathy, thank you very much. Besides…wasn’t it you who insisted I not have a drop of liquor? What else am I supposed to do, then?”
“I know it’s unfair for me to say this since I invited you, but come on, the way you look, it’s just visually wrong to see you drinking. And I don’t even wanna picture the poor little girl, secretly developing a taste for alcohol and day-drinking by herself in the Archive of Forbidden Books.”
The objective of this party was to have a good time. Turning a little girl delinquent would run very counter to that. For that matter, this seemed like one of those instances where Puck really should step up to stop her.
“And yet that damn cat is soaking in a sumptuous alcohol bath—make it make sense.”
“Don’t badmouth my brother. Besides, his behavior only proves how much he trusts his Betty, I suppose. So I am most certainly not lonely—”
“Whoa, Emilia and Rem are cuddling more fiercely than ever!”
“Did you come all the way over here just to ignore me? Beyond insulting, I suppose!”
“Ahhh—no, no, it’s not what you think! It’s just, Emilia and Rem are being, like, every man’s fantasy right now and it’s not like they’ve stolen my heart or anything but dammit I wish I had a camera…!”
“That wasn’t even slightly convincing!”
On the opposite balcony, Emilia was cuddling and caressing Rem, while Rem purred and nuzzled against Emilia in turn. It was beyond wholesome—it was downright yuri-licious.
“I’m so mad I can’t be there right now…!”
“Oh, enough already. With my brother in Roswaal’s clutches, it’s best that I sit alone in the night breeze. It suits me, I suppose.”
“Hey, I said I’m sorry, okay? It hurts a party host when his sulking guest snipes at him. Oh, fine, if I must, I must.”
With a smirk at the pouting Beatrice, Subaru took a leaf from her book and jumped off the railing. But the moment his feet hit the floor, the alcohol in his system made him almost fall to the ground below.
“Waaah?! Oh—oh crap! I almost became a squashed tomato there!”
“Not even your cheap attempt at physical comedy will get me to smile, I suppose. Even if you were smooshed to death like an insect, I doubt it would be all that entertaining.”
“I’m not risking my life for your amusement—I don’t feel that guilty! Shit…I totally almost died there.”
Wiping the cold sweat off his brow, Subaru plopped himself down beside the exasperated Beatrice. She didn’t welcome his presence, but she showed no inclination of leaving, either. So Subaru assumed that meant his presence wasn’t minded.
“Okay, since you’re bored, let me tell you a wonderful story. Truth be told, I was hoping to use the starry sky as a pretense to share a romantic moment with Emilia-tan, but the unparalleled power of alcohol thwarted that plan.”
“All I’m hearing is a schemer drowning in his own scheme, I suppose.”
“And you’re not wrong—you’re not wrong, but still! ……Let’s put a pin in that for later. Anyway, I’m gonna tell you a story about the stars from my hometown. Over there, each star has its own name and legend.”
In Subaru’s fantasy, his rousing conversation about stars would whet Beatrice’s curiosity and bring a smile to her face. But despite his enthusiasm, when he looked up at the stars—he held his breath.
This was nothing new to Subaru, but every time he looked at the stars, he couldn’t help but feel a fleeting hesitation.
And with good reason—the stars in this sky were completely unrecognizable.
The brightest Polaris, the Big Dipper beside it, the Summer and Winter Triangle asterisms, Orion’s Belt, Cassiopeia—where did they all go?
Ironically, one look at the night sky and it was instantly obvious. The stars in this world were in completely different places from the stars in Subaru’s world.
“You’ve forgotten your story, I suppose… If you’ve quite finished, then be off with you.”
“I haven’t forgotten anything, dude. There were just too many stars to name, I had a hard time deciding… Okay, first, take that star. That overly bright star, that’s Polaris, the North Star. If you ever lose your way, use it to guide you. It always points north.”
“But that’s south—the complete opposite direction.”
“Okay then, it’s the South Star.”
“So arbitrary! Are you making this all up, I wonder?!”
In actual fact, he was making it all up, but Subaru hid his shame behind an audacious smile and continued his story. In this sort of scenario, whoever yielded ground first lost. Not that he knew what this competition even was—alcohol was probably to blame for that.
Subaru faced Beatrice’s displeased gaze head-on, pointed at the South Star, and said, “You use the South Star as a starting point to find the other stars. Lower your gaze a little and look—see those five stars in the shape of an M? That’s Cassiopeia.”
“I don’t know what an em is, and I can’t see any shape besides.”
“You don’t see it, you feel it. Agh—okay, since you don’t know the letter M, think of it as a canyon. So the legend about Cassiopeia is, well, Cassiopeia was proud of her daughter Andromeda—so proud, in fact, that everyone else frowned upon her.”
“…For stories about stars, they certainly reek of human,” Beatrice grumbled, punctuating the word with a loud sigh.
But this sentiment made Subaru’s cheeks soften into a smile. “I know, right? Where I’m from, the stars are thought of as deities. But our deities are always up to some trouble somewhere—just like humans! And that’s what makes the stories interesting.”
“Bold of you to call stars deities. For beings beyond human comprehension, that’s a very self-serving interpretation, I suppose.”
“Okay, the idea of supernatural beings can be a bit chilling at times, but meanwhile, we’ve got a spirit over there who mostly fits that description, and he’s chilling in a bath of booze—your argument is invalid.”
As Subaru gestured with his eyes, Roswaal filled Puck’s empty bath cup with more liquor. Feeling any sort of reverence over such whimsy was absolutely impossible.
Beholding the same scene, even Beatrice got an uncomfortable look on her face as she said, “In a way, Puckie breaks the mold when it comes to great spirits. So don’t use his magnificence as a standard for all spirits. My brother is very special.”
“Thanks for the cringey comeback. Anyway, as for the other stars…yeah, that’s a good one, okay! Now we’re going to look for our favorite: Subaru!”
“……Heh?”
As Subaru snapped his fingers and let his white teeth shine, Beatrice assumed she was witnessing an ego crucifixion. Picking up on this, Subaru frantically shook his head.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t pity me! It’s not what you think! Yeah, Subaru is my name, but I was named after stars to begin with—the Pleiades. Anyway, the Pleiades are a cluster of several stars—I was saying we should look for it.”
“Imagine naming your son after a twinkling star in the sky—your parents were truly cruel to you, I suppose.”
“Can you not make a backhanded insult about me not living up to my name?!”
It’s not that Subaru wasn’t sensitive about it. Half-lying to himself about his insecurity, Subaru grandly pointed to the sky and said loudly, “You probably don’t care, but stay with me here. Humor a drunk man’s ramblings.”
And as Subaru bounced back, Beatrice murmured quietly, “I never said…that I didn’t care.”
Subaru’s eyes widened in shock as the little girl quietly averted her gaze. Her cheeks were slightly pink.
“What’s this? What’s this? Dang, talk about your emotionally constipated loli. Hey, you! Fine, fine, you forced my hand! Okay then, let’s have a super-fun chat about the stars some more!”
“You’re too loud, I suppose. You insufferable buffoon.”
“Yes, yes, aren’t you so cute!”
Thoroughly cheered up by Beatrice’s attitude shift, Subaru merrily jumped back into his lecture. Looking up at the unfamiliar night sky, he mercilessly vomited out misguided legends about stars.
And as he talked, he felt a fluffy lightness in his heart and in his head all at once.
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