ALCOHOL PANIC
1
The mansion of Marquis Roswaal L Mathers contained many areas that were not utilized. The mansion was located near the mountains, away from the capital. Sitting on a vast plot of land that could rival a small castle, it comprised three buildings.
The dining hall, parlor, and wash area were the most utilized sections of the main building. The east wing contained the personal chambers of the master of the house, his servants, and guests. The west wing contained mostly multipurpose rooms.
Among these rooms, servant use of the rooms in the west wing was significantly lower than the other buildings. The word multipurpose had a pleasant ring, but it would be more correct to say that they were areas whose purpose was way too loosely defined.
There was a dance hall that never hosted parties, a storage room that contained non-displayed paintings and other works of art, and a library that contained books unworthy of Beatrice’s Archive of Forbidden Books—an overabundance of unutilized areas.
Because of this, even though they were cleaned on a rotation, the west wing was a building that was completely forgotten. The only part of the west wing that was frequently accessed was the storage room in the hallway connected to the main building, so its desolation was easy to see.
“I’m just saying, it really feels futile coming here every three days to clean—how do you feel, Big Sis?”
Subaru removed his uniform jacket and rolled up his shirt sleeves. He posed the question with a duster in hand. Subaru winced as he wiped the floating dust away with his hand. The flying dust always mercilessly respawned, no matter how carefully he cleaned it. What an infuriating foe.
“Seriously, where does dust even come from? What do you think, Big Sis?”
Ram sighed. “Stop asking stupid questions and get back to work. No matter what Master Roswaal asks of us, we go above and beyond to fulfill his wishes—that is our job.”
“Yeah, yeah, aye-aye, my lady. Okay, let’s get back to wor—hey, dude!”
The very lady who had epically kicked him in the butt was now on the receiving end of Subaru’s condemnation. Upon closer glance, the snippy Ram was daintily seated on a wooden box in the corner of the room. Naturally, there was neither a mop nor a rag in her hand, which was pressed to her mouth in a yawn—
“So this is why you weren’t griping at me every five seconds! C’mon, the two of us together are like half a person, you know? No way can we finish this task on time as a quarter person!”
“A person no longer ashamed by his own worthlessness is a person no more… You’re useless, Barusu.”
“Maybe take a look in the mirror?! Look objectively and ask yourself which one of us is the useless one—me or you?”
“Nobody uses this storage room. It won’t make a difference if we go lax on the cleaning.”
“What happened to ‘going above and beyond’ to fulfill Master Roswaal’s wishes?!”
But Ram only sighed apathetically in reply to Subaru’s self-righteous clapback. All the chores at Roswaal Manor were performed equally by a three-person team of Subaru, Ram, and her twin sister Rem. However, about eighty percent of the mansion’s functionality could be attributed to Rem and the remaining twenty percent was handled by Subaru and Ram—and the mere act of finishing those tasks was a daily struggle.
As a result, the team of half-competent cleaners was assigned the task of dusting and tidying the unused storage room in the west wing—assignments that were understandably motivation-crushing.
In actual fact, only ten minutes into their cleaning, Ram’s and Subaru’s motivation was completely dead.
As a rule, Roswaal Manor’s three wings were cleaned one by one on a three-day rotation. Since they had cleaned the west wing only three days prior, the lack of filth only drove their motivation to even lower depths.
“But there was a kernel of truth in what you said, Ram. Here I am, dusting, but I feel like I’m just spreading the dust around and accomplishing nothi—hi—achoo!”
Subaru sneezed at the dust while Ram sat on the wooden box, ditching her duties. All the accumulated dust rose into the air, and the tip of the duster sailed into the side of the shelf, upsetting its contents. With a groan, Subaru crouched to pick up the collection of mysterious knickknacks off the floor.
“I’m just cleaning up my own messes at this point. Work is just a negative cycle—oh?”
While reaching for his fallen duster, Subaru noticed a difficult-to-see, unnatural join in the floor. He ran his hand along the floor just to make sure and noticed that it was indeed a wooden cover for underfloor storage.
“Ram, there seems to be a trapdoor in this floor—do you know what’s under here?”
“I don’t know…just cut it out, Barusu. A bunch of moths will probably fly out if you open it. If you do open it, make sure that I’ve left the room and locked the door first.”
“Why would I need to lock the door? And that ship’s sailed, by the way.”
Subaru had already found the trapdoor handle, yanked on it, and removed it in one clean motion. What Ram said had given him an ominous feeling, but his curiosity had gotten the better of him.
In an instant, Ram had jumped off the wooden box and made a beeline for the door to the room. Smirking at her quick escape, Subaru mustered his wits and took a cautious look beneath the floor—
“Woo?”
And his mouth and eyes rounded in surprise.
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