3
The next day, it wasn’t until the afternoon that Subaru popped into the Archive of Forbidden Books. As usual, Beatrice sat on her stepladder and didn’t offer him a welcoming greeting. And given the events of the day before, the way she hid her face behind her book gave her an even more menacing aura than usual.
“’Sup, Beako. Rozchi and Ram left. And since you weren’t there to say good-bye, he cried so hard his clown makeup melted.”
“In that case, I’m glad I didn’t go to say good-bye. Now, if you’ve only come here to have a pointless conversation, you should leave, I suppose.”
Beatrice waved her hand as if she were shooing a fly. At the end of his rope, Subaru scratched his head for a while…until he arrived at an idea and nodded.
“Hey, Beako, let’s pick up where we left off yesterday. Okay? Good. Thanks.”
“You self-indulgent fool! You don’t speak for me!”
“Nah, I’mma go ahead and max out my self-indulgence credits on you. So. Revisiting yesterday’s conversation, if you won’t send him off, how about welcoming him home?”
“This is not up for debate. I don’t want to. End of story. Why are you so obsessed with this to begin with, I wonder?”
“Why? Well, because it’s important.” Subaru crossed his arms and nodded.
Ever since the debate began the night before, Subaru had repeatedly asked himself what he should do. And the answer he arrived at—was a bit tricky to put into words.
“I know it seems like I’m blowing this out of proportion, but there are some things you just need to say when the moment comes. Otherwise, you might regret it later. You’ll be like, Ahhh, I blew it! Doesn’t that happen to you?”
“No…I don’t suppose I’ve experienced that.”
Beatrice avoided his gaze, flatly rejecting Subaru’s assertion. Sensing from her reaction that he had chinked away at her armor a little, Subaru gave another push.
“Well, of course, you haven’t experienced it—you’re a shut-in homebody! A hopeless loser!”
“Stop—I don’t know what that means, but hearing you say it churns my stomach. I get the sense that you are unfairly judging my very existence.”
Subaru pointed a finger at her. “If you were offended by the words alone, that proves deep down, you know I’m right.”
“How many times must I tell you—I don’t understand that word!” With a tired frown, Beatrice slid her fingers into her curls and bounced them like springs. “I’m not understanding what you’re trying to say, I suppose. Just spit it out and get the hell out of my Archive.”
“Hey, Beako…wanna make a bet with me?”
“A bet?”
“That’s right, a bet. A little friendly competition.”
Beatrice frowned in confusion at the sudden strange proposal. She scrutinized Subaru dubiously, then said, “A bet…what a crazy idea. I have no logical reason to agree to it.”
“If you choose to do or not do things solely based on logic, you’ll grow up to be a really boring adult. Though being a super chaotic adult like Roswaal isn’t so much better.”
“That’s one thing you and I can agree on, I suppose.”
Their opinions on the absent master of the house were united. But setting aside the eccentric stepping stone that gave them common ground, Subaru held up a finger and said, “So that’s why you and I should make a little wager to have some fun—keep you from growing up into a boring adult. Playing with fire and getting away with it is a privilege that people like you and I can only enjoy when we’re kids.”
“So let’s say you and I did make this bet…what would I gain from winning?”
“You’re a shrewd one. Since you’re interested in the prize, does that mean you’re game?”
Beatrice frowned and said nothing. But her silence was his gain. Subaru turned to face the girl, and he extended his right hand. As Beatrice stared at it dubiously, Subaru said—
“I cry out, and you fly out—”
“With a meow-meow-meowww!”
With a boisterous response to Subaru’s call, particles of light gathered in Subaru’s hand. The light immediately took the shape of a small cat as the palm-sized cat Puck jumped onto Beatrice’s hand.
Puck washed his face, his beady black eyes brimming with mischief as he said, “Lia requested it, and I’m helping out because I agree with it, but…Subaru? I’m surprised how roughly you handle cats.”
“Well, there’s a saying in my homeland about needing a cat’s help when you’ve got your hands full—and this cat just happens to be helpful in so many ways.”
Subaru did come to Puck for help comparatively often, both for his usefulness and amicability. And he wound up asking for Puck’s help this time, too. And the result—
“Aww… Oh, Puckie, you’re so cute and fluffy—you’re Betty’s ideal, I suppose.”
As expected, Beatrice melted when she caught Puck in her hand. As she girlishly blushed over the little kitty, Subaru smirked and said, “You’re so predictable you’re almost a walking cliché, but if you win the bet, you’ll win Puck Petting Privileges for a day. I’ve already gotten both his and his guardian’s permission.”
“To clarify, I am Lia’s guardian. Don’t get that wrong,” Puck demanded, his tail standing straight.
That aside, Beatrice nodded eagerly at Subaru’s offer. “N-not a bad reward. I suppose you have good sense now and then.”
“I’m seriously worried that some guy is gonna take advantage of you when you grow up.”
“Did I sense some snark?”
“Nope, just your imagination. Now, if I win…you’ll add sending people off and welcoming them home to your list of duties. And not just for Roswaal—this applies to anybody in this mansion.”
When Subaru added this provision to the agreement, Beatrice’s expression changed sharply. Naturally, she had suspected the conversation would take this sort of turn. Her eyes were deep with fatigue.
“I won’t enforce this for little shopping trips to town. But in times like this, when everyone else in the household assembles to send someone off or welcome someone home, you’ll be there, too. No need to go out of your way to be a wet blanket, right?”
“I truly…truly fail to see why you are so obsessed with this.” Beatrice stared thoughtfully at Puck, but she quickly resigned herself. Floating to the floor from her stepladder, she marched over to Subaru and said, “Fine. Tell me the conditions of the wager.”
“So you’re fine with taking the punishment if you lose?”
“It doesn’t matter because I won’t lose, I suppose. Now, the conditions.”
There was an exasperated quiver in Beatrice’s lips—agreeing to Subaru’s proposal angered her on a visceral level. Before she could change her mind, Subaru turned to look at the door behind him.
“The rules are simple: a game of tag—well, double tag, actually.”
“Tag…? You mean that game where someone is it and chases people, I suppose.”
“Yup, that’s the one. Except the rules are a little different. You’ll stay in the mansion proper, and you will be it.”
When an invisible question mark formed above Beatrice’s head, Subaru clarified, “Right now, Emilia is running around the mansion. She’s the one you need to catch. But if all you had to do was chase Emilia and catch her, that would be too boring. Though I’d be super stoked if I were it.”
“Subaru, Subaru, you’re going on a tangent,” Puck nudged him.
“Sorry. Anyway, while you chase after Emilia, you have to avoid getting caught yourself. If you catch Emilia, you win. But if you’re caught before Emilia, you lose—and there you have it. Double tag.”
When Beatrice heard the game description, she frowned and twiddled her ringlets. “And I have to stay in the mansion proper? What about the garden or just outside the gate?”
“The garden is okay, but outside the gate is out of bounds. Also, no using your Passage or any other magic. Shifting planes makes you way too OP for tag, and magic can get people hurt.”
“Hmph—that will put me at a disadvantage, I suppose. How am I supposed to catch Emilia without magic?”
“Use your brain, of course. Hide behind things, cut her off, et cetera. The same rules apply to Emilia—in the end, shrewdness will separate the winner from the loser!”
“If you expect that explanation to entice me, there’s something wrong with you.”
Beatrice frowned warily, but she was seriously considering the competition. Beatrice was nothing more than an ordinary little girl without her Passage or magic. Even though the rules were the same, Emilia had an unfair physical advantage.
But if it was a battle of shrewdness, Emilia was most certainly the worst in the mansion. Her honest nature made her gullible. So Beatrice still had a fair chance of winning the game under those rules.
“Very well. Game on, I suppose. However—the younger twin cannot be the one to chase me.”
“You noticed.”
“Of course I did. Not even the great Betty is foolish enough to think she can beat an Oni in a contest of physical strength. I must take every precaution in that regard.”
In seeing through Subaru’s shallow wisdom, Beatrice smugly believed she had foiled his plan. If Subaru refused her caveat, there was no way that Beatrice would agree to the contest. Beatrice was in the right, after all. So Subaru reluctantly surrendered Rem’s participation.
“After you leave, I’m going to count to a hundred before I chase after you,” Subaru explained. “Puck is going to stay behind in the Archive of Forbidden Books, so if you use your Passage to cheat, you’ll be caught immediately.”
“Don’t patronize me. I would never do something so shameless.”
Once each party’s terms were agreed upon, Beatrice handed Puck to Subaru. Subaru took this as the signal to tell Emilia the game was on.
“Mm-hm, she’s all set,” Puck confirmed. “Lia is really excited to play. She’s already running in the mansion.”
With a yawn about to escape from his mouth, Puck informed them that everything was good to go. With that, Subaru gestured to Beatrice, and the girl marched to the door, her skirt swishing as she went.
“I’ll end this quickly and get straight to my cuddly tryst with Brother.”
Her eyes brimming with confidence—likely over some scheme—Beatrice waved her hand and exited the Archive of Forbidden Books. As he watched her walk out, Subaru started counting out loud.
“One…two…three…four…five…”
Crushing Subaru’s presumed trump card—Rem—Beatrice assumed she had already won. However, when it came to beating Subaru in a battle of shrewdness, it was safe to say that out of all the mansion members, Beatrice fell on the gullible end of the spectrum.
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