4
Looking back, the first morning Subaru was invited to the dining hall for breakfast, he was plagued with anxiety and nervousness. He couldn’t help but think about it as he sipped his tea in the drawing room at Roswaal Manor. His thoughts on the flavor were the same as always—overbrewed and unpleasant.
“What’s wrong, Subaru? You’re making a really peculiar face.”
As Subaru dwelled on bitter memories and strong tea, Emilia called out to him.
“I was just reminiscing a little. You remember how I used to be in my shell when I first came to this manor?”
“Were you? But, Subaru, weren’t you boldly leering your first morning here just as you are now?”
“‘Leering’? That makes me sound insanely suspicious!”
Their wildly different takes on the matter made Subaru’s jaw drop. When Emilia saw Subaru scratch his cheek anxiously, she put a finger to her lip and said, “Just kidding. You looked like you were deep in thought, so I wanted to tease you a little.”
“You for real? Well, that’s a serious case of E M A (Emilia-tan’s a Major Airhead)!”
“Yeah, yeah. And you too, Liliana. You really don’t need to be so nervous.” Subaru’s flippant reply went unheeded as Emilia was more focused on reassuring Liliana, who was shrinking into a little ball across from her. Forgetting her cheerfulness back at the village, the bard jolted up, her face pale, as she squeaked, “Okay.”
“Whoa, somebody’s freaking out. What happened to all that confidence?”
“Y-you might think different, but of course I’m nervous. A c-country bumpkin like me suddenly got whisked away to the lord’s manor…the manor of a marquis to boot… Wh-what if I screw up…?”
“They’ll wipe out your whole family line and won’t stop there—even the land they live on won’t be spared. Scorched earth. A dog’s death.”
Right when Liliana’s nerves couldn’t get any worse, Subaru drew a thumb across his throat to drive the point home. Liliana looked like she was going to be sick, and Emilia immediately slapped Subaru’s knee.
“Subaru, that’s enough!” Emilia scolded, her cheeks puffed.
“Sorry, my bad. Didn’t think she’d take the joke that badly,” Subaru sheepishly apologized. Still, Subaru was secretly satisfied to see the lost-kitty look in Liliana’s eyes considering everything she’d put him through in the village square.
After Subaru and the others returned from Earlham Village, they occupied the Roswaal Manor’s drawing room for a friendly—rather, an uncomfortable chat. They were waiting for the master of the house to be free to receive their guest. That was how the trio came to be awkwardly seated on the sofas.
“But hey, did you see the sour look on Ram’s face when she met us? It felt like we were parasites, bringing a big bag of pestilence with us.”
“Eep! So I really am unwelcome… Er, I’d better escape while I still can…!”
“Liliana, it’s all right. Subaru, stop making her uncomfortable. Don’t you feel sorry for her?”
“I wasn’t trying to freak her out; I’m just telling her the facts. Chances are Ram actually is unhappy that she has more work to do now.”
Ram was a maid who had a special relationship with Roswaal and a haughty attitude that seemed out of place given her profession. When they asked her to be the go-between to get Liliana into Roswaal Manor, she’d heaved a not-so-subtle sigh after one glance at the bard.
There was little doubt that she was seething with resentment while speaking to her master now about the guest.
“There’s no telling what terrible reviews Roswaal is hearing about Liliana this very moment. For all we know, he thinks a towering giant with a raspy voice is here for an audience.”
Not even the infamously eccentric Roswaal would chance meeting with somebody of dubious value to him. And what a shame it would be if that was what dashed Liliana’s hopes.
“Don’t worry, my sister is not that unfair. She would not prioritize her feelings when seeking Master Roswaal’s opinion.”
Subaru’s concerns were addressed by a blue-haired girl carrying a steaming teapot. This beautiful girl, dressed in a provocative maid’s uniform that exposed part of her back, chest, and shoulders, was named Rem. She had come to gracefully set down a selection of sweets and refill empty teacups. Subaru held out his cup, bringing it closer to Rem and the waiting teapot.
“Sweets are one thing, but I always thought of pouring tea as Ram’s job.”
“Well, she has been quite busy lately. Besides…I wish to prepare the tea when you drink it, Subaru. Your Rem can fill the tea with her feelings…and other things.”
Her bold declaration made Subaru flinch. “For the love of all that’s holy, please stick with tea leaves and hot water!”
Rem pouted slightly and muttered, “If you insist.”
Ever since the trouble with the demon beasts had ended, Rem’s attitude toward Subaru had improved dramatically. He appreciated her newfound affection, but it also deeply confused his fragile boyish heart. Neither he nor anyone around him realized this was the typical reaction of a boy who had never been popular with the ladies.
“Well, we supposedly invited her for some tasty snacks and tea. Technically, we made good on that promise.”
“Oh please, Subaru… If you tell me my tea and sweets are tasty and what a pretty maid I am—I’m blushing,” Rem protested, pressing her hands to rosy cheeks.
“Everything you said is true, but did you just sneak in an extra compliment there?” Subaru couldn’t resist pointing that out.
With a shy giggle, Rem quietly said, “Also…I heard she was an ordinary bard. Why did you bring her here?”
Subaru whispered back, “Ohhh, right. Emilia-tan took a liking to her, and— Well, actually, it’s a bit complicated. I dunno how she did it, but she saw through Emilia-tan’s Block Identification.”
Rem’s eyes narrowed slightly when she heard this. Block Identification was a spell woven into the robe Emilia wore in public to hide her half-elf features. Without Emilia’s express permission or the ability to overcome the magic cast on the robe, nobody should have been able to tell who Emilia was.
“You say she saw through it, but…Master Roswaal wove that spell in himself. It’s hard to believe anybody could do such a thing.”
“Right? That’s why we had her come here with us. We couldn’t just leave her there.”
They had used Ram’s tea and Rem’s sweets as a pretense for taking her to the manor. Liliana had been reluctant, but she’d obediently taken the bait when it was offered. On a certain level, Subaru was terribly concerned for the girl’s future if she was always this gullible.
In any case, this wasn’t a matter they could ignore, so Subaru and the others brought the bard back to the manor.
“I understand,” Rem said. “In other words, we should silence her before she has the chance to say anything, yes?”
“You don’t understand crap. Look, phrases like ‘we should silence her’ sound way too real coming from you!”
“Oh please, Subaru, your Rem would never stoop so low.”
Rem jokingly stuck out her tongue…but prior circumstances meant this wasn’t at all convincing. (To be fair, those prior circumstances only existed in a fragment of Subaru’s memory.)
“Man, your sweets are like a miracle drug, Rem,” Subaru said.
No matter how stiff and nervous she’d been initially, the moment Liliana helped herself to one of the fragrant baked treats, there was no room in her mind for anything else. Rem was undeniably skilled at housework, but her true gift was baking.
“Lemme have a taste… Oh yeah. These are awesome, Rem.”
“Thank you so much, Subaru! I poured my heart and soul into these snacks… I gave it my all…so that I would be at peace if I could never bake ever again.”
“It’s just baking. Do you treat it like a fight to the death every time?!”
As Subaru savored Rem’s magnum opus, he shuddered a little when she practically declared it a matter of life and death.
Meanwhile, Liliana leaned back into the sofa’s soft embrace, settling into a comfortable position and rubbing her belly.
“Mmm… Zzzzz…”
“Okay, I like to think of myself as a hospitable guy, but not enough to let you go to sleep on me!”
“Ah! I’m not asleep! Not asleep, I swear! I was only pretending to sleep, to lure the assassins targeting me to come out of hiding so I can take them out in one fell swoop!”
“…What?! Oh no! Is somebody trying to kill you…?”
“Now look at what you’ve done! You’ve tricked our sheltered angel!”
A jumble of excuses fell out of Liliana’s mouth, and Emilia, trusting as she was, took them at face value. As Liliana wiped a string of drool from the corner of her mouth, Subaru mused that perhaps she was a girl of extremes, someone who could only respond with zero or a hundred. A sigh escaped him as he realized she wasn’t going to be an easy person to watch over.
Then Rem surprised everyone and changed the subject. “I hear you are a bard.”
As Rem looked at Liliana’s instrument leaning against the sofa—her lyulyre—the performer grabbed her instrument, hugged it close, and stammered nervously, “Y-yes! Apologies, I’m but a reckless dream-chaser who seeks to challenge the world with a single string of my lyulyre!”
“You really will grovel for anyone who seems like they’re in charge, won’t you?!” Subaru exclaimed.
Liliana’s submissive attitude was almost refreshing, but Rem ignored this and clapped her hands. The sparkle in her light-blue eyes was much like Emilia’s the first time she heard Liliana sing.
“Then I suppose you know several famous stories, yes?” Rem asked.
“ ! Yes…yes! I most certainly do!” Liliana’s eyes blazed as she strummed her lyulyre. “I set out on my own over a decade ago, and this lyulyre is how I make my living. With it, I drive people mad with passion, drag them into vortexes of chaos, and bring them to tears in the streets—that’s my specialty!”
“Whoa, hold up! You’ve been at this on your own for over a decade? How old are you?!”
“I’m twenty-one this year. Why?”
“Twenty-one? With those looks and that brain of yours?!”
She had a baby face and was rather lacking in the chest, butt, and hips department. Subaru thought it was rather embarrassing to wear such revealing clothes when there wasn’t much to show off, but now that he knew her age, he felt even worse for her.
Subaru sighed. “She’s basically a legal Lolita, but let’s put a pin in that for now… Besides, it’s not like I haven’t seen a more outrageous example…”
“Oh, shut up! Just so you know, I’m quite popular among certain crowds. But more importantly!”
After pushing past Subaru (who was somewhere between sympathetic and awestruck), Liliana returned Rem’s eager gaze. Her lyulyre firmly in hand, she raised one foot onto the sofa and struck a pose.
“Now! Let me make your wishes come true. What would you like? Which famous tale do you fancy? If, for example, you seek a timeless masterpiece, then how about the ‘Love Ballad of the Sword Devil’?!”
“Now that’s an intimidating song title…”
“How dare you! The ‘Love Ballad of the Sword Devil’ is a modern masterpiece sung not only in Lugunica, but other nations as well! The romance of the awkward yet devoted warrior has made many a fair maiden weak in the knees, yearning to be loved in the same way!”
“R-really…?”
“Why, yes, of course! Especially in the very last verse, when the devil crosses swords with none other than his beloved and the ensuing battle bewitches all who behold it—I cannot sing that part without crying!”
“That’s not romance—that’s murder!”
The synopsis made it sound like a bloodbath. The enemies-to-lovers trope wasn’t unheard of in Subaru’s former world, but he wasn’t very familiar with stuff like Love of Kill. (It was just a title that came to mind and not much beyond that.)
“What are you talking about, Subaru?” Rem protested. “The ‘Love Ballad of the Sword Devil’ is one of Lugunica’s most famous songs. I’ve heard it quite a few times myself.”
“For real?! You serious?! Emilia-tan, don’t tell me it made you weak in the knees, too?”
“Er—I’m sorry, but I don’t know much about this subject, so I probably can’t give you the answer you want.”
“No, no, that’s the perfect answer! That’s exactly what I hoped you’d say, Emilia-tan!”
If anything, this only convinced Subaru that Rem’s tastes were shockingly unconventional. While the trio clamored, Liliana appeared to be searching through her mental songbook.
“I can also perform other songs, like ‘Volakia’s Blue Lightning,’ ‘Monument on Sword Hill,’ and more. And don’t forget the anthem of Kararagi’s founding father that’s become synonymous with hitting it big time—‘Hoshin of the Wasteland.’”
“Wow, eclectic. Still, aren’t a lot of them about great historical figures? Or is that just the sort of song you like to add to your collection?”
“It’s partly a matter of personal taste, true, but the masses also love heroic epics and biographies of great historical figures. Everyone yearns for a spectacle. I just take it a step further and paint these tales with music.”
Her cheeks dyed pink with shyness, Liliana confessed a pillar of her mission to the room. She seemed to expect Subaru to laugh it off, but he shook his head and said, “That’s a noble calling, especially at your age— Wait, I just remembered. You’re twenty-one.”
“This is going to sound harsh, but why does a chore boy like you have a problem with my age? If you keep badgering me, I’ll take you to court.”
“Does this world even have that kind of court…?”
Ignorant of the ways of this world, Subaru did not know the answer to his question.
“So if I’m hearing you correctly, miss—your mission is to travel the world and share songs about famous heroes from history?” Rem asked.
Liliana pulled herself together and answered, “Noooo, it’s so much more than that. Of course, I do consider sharing songs to be my sacred task, but I have a more personal goal. And that’s…”
But before she could elaborate, the bard was cut short.
“Sorry to intrude on your conversation…”
There was a knock at the door. It opened to reveal a maid who politely bowed her head. She was the spitting image of Rem, except with pink hair and light-red eyes. The maid—Ram—looked up and graciously said, “Apologies for the wait. Master Roswaal is ready to see his guest.”
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