In retrospect, perhaps she’d come there because she’d wanted to do at least something with her boyfriend for Christmas. Back then, however, I hadn’t had the presence of mind to think about anything at all other than my grades.
“Yeah...” was all I could say with a gloomy look on my face.
“Right...” Runa hung her head. Her lips were undoubtedly curled up into a smile, but the way her bangs fell didn’t allow me to see if her eyes were smiling too. “Do your best, then!” She then looked up and had her usual cheerful expression on her face.
“Right. Thanks...” I replied, my voice devoid of energy. “Ah, I’ll walk you to the station.”
“That’s okay! It’s not that far from here, unlike from my station to my place. There aren’t any scary roads on the way either. And I’ll take a cab home from Station A.”
“Huh...? Oh... Is that okay?”
It was true that compared to the distance between Runa’s house and Station A, you could get from here to Station K in half the time, and all of the roads leading to it were big and had plenty of foot traffic.
“You should hurry home and go back to work! I’m glad I came since I got to see you!” she said cheerfully. After that, she waved at me and headed out.
“Thanks... See you...” I replied.
“Later! I’ll message you once I get home!”
I limply waved and watched her walk through the automatic door at the entrance—she waved energetically at me all the while.
I got home, took off my coat, washed my hands, and did some other stuff. After I went to my room, I reached out for the cake box that I’d left on my desk.
Inside was a whole cake covered in white cream and with strawberries on top. It was decorated with various Christmas-themed things, like Santa and a tree. There was also a chocolate plate that read “Merry Xmas.”
It felt like a waste to eat it right away, so I took a photo—it didn’t turn out very well because the only light in my room was a fluorescent lamp. Then, I grabbed one of the strawberries and popped it into my mouth.
I recalled how Runa had just been. It was clear that I was making her put up with the way things were.
But I had bigger matters to worry about. Even now, I was on edge as I sat there. I was in a state of constant restlessness like there was a drum beating somewhere within me on upbeats.
The strawberry tasted bitter. It was covered in cream from the cake and was supposed to be so sweet, and yet...
Then, my phone vibrated on my desk. When I checked the screen, I saw that I had a message from Runa.
Runa: It’s you we’re talking about, so I know you’ve got this!
Runa: I believe in you! Go for it!
“Runa...”
Before I knew it, I was clenching the phone in my hand. My chest grew hot and numb, and there was a prickling sensation deep in my nose.
Perhaps I really had acted a bit strange that day. And yet, she hadn’t uttered a word of complaint and had cheered me on instead. I was grateful for it, and it made me love her all the more.
I wanted to treasure her forever. Because if I didn’t, divine punishment would certainly be coming for me.
With that on my mind, I blinked many times, turned on my desk lamp, sat down, and took a textbook out of my black daypack. The bag was visibly worn by now.
***
Even now, I remembered the taste of the strawberries I’d eaten that day—along with the memory of the lowest point in my life and the gratitude I’d felt toward Runa.
After we had finished the cake, I handed Runa a small bag. “Here, this is for you,” I said.
Inside it was a rectangular box small enough to hold with one hand.
“Oh, thanks!” Runa said. She took out the box, stared closely at it, and proceeded to undo the crosswise ribbon. “What is it? Some kind of accessory? A necklace, maybe?”
I avoided Runa’s probing gaze and simply smiled at her.
“Oh, a pencil...?”
“Yeah.”
What Runa had taken out of the box was a white mechanical pencil with gilded edges.
“It has my name on it! How cute!” she exclaimed.
Her name had been engraved on the side of the pencil in gold. The color matched the other metallic parts on it. This pencil had been easy to order online, so I’d asked for it to be made with the name “Luna,” which Runa often used on social media. It had been expensive for a mechanical pencil, and as if to validate its price of roughly 5,000 yen, it sparkled like an accessory.
“I was thinking a ballpoint pen might work better as a present...but you’d probably have more use for this when studying,” I said.
“Huh?”
“I want you to do your best in the fall when you go to school to get your certification,” I replied, wondering if I should’ve gone with jewelry or a trinket like I typically would. “You cheered me on when I was preparing for my entrance exams...so now, I want to support your dream the same way.”
I recalled how moved I’d been when she’d told me about her passion for her goals at LakeTown. This time, it was my turn to support her.
I wanted her to know about my resolve.
“Ryuto...” Runa stared at me while holding the pencil.
The lights in the night outside had grown even brighter and more beautiful than earlier.
There was also something I’d never told her about.
“And besides. I don’t know if you remember...” I began, “but it was what made me fall in love with you in the first place.”
“What? A pencil?” Runa asked in surprise.
I nodded, a little hesitantly. “At the beginning of our second year of high school, you forgot to write your name on the parent-teacher conference form. I sat in the front row then, and you came up to me and asked to borrow a pencil.”
“Go on.”
“I gave it to you, and you said thanks with a smile.”
“And then?” she asked.
Runa quickly responded to each thing I said to get me to say more. All I could do was smile awkwardly.
“Well... That’s it,” I admitted.
“What?! Which part of that made you fall in love with me?!”
“It’s kind of silly, right?” I said. Even I found it funny. “It’s just that I’d always thought you were cute.”
It made me nostalgic to remember how I’d felt back then. She’d been “Shirakawa-san” to me—a girl, out of my reach, whom I’d simply admired. Back then, it would’ve been unthinkable for me to be having a meal with her like this.
“I didn’t think you’d speak to a total introvert like me... It made me happy.” Recalling how I’d felt at the time made a smile appear on my face all on its own. “It felt like a waste to use the pencil I lent you, and for a while, I didn’t. Actually, I still have it.”
“No way!”
It wasn’t for some gross reason like it having her fingerprints on it. It just kind of felt like a memento of our relationship. I didn’t want to break or lose it, so it had become somewhat like a piece of work, enshrined in the pen holder on my desk, never to be used.
“Even I think it’s weird, though,” I said in self-deprecation.
“Not at all,” Runa replied, shaking her head. “That just says how important our first encounter was to you, right?” She held her new white pencil to her chest and smiled. “I’ll take good care of this pencil, just like how you’ve taken good care of the one I borrowed from you.”
“Thank you,” I replied, feeling deeply moved.
Runa grinned at me. “I should be the one thanking you,” she said, giggling. “If I’d never borrowed that pencil from you, we would’ve been complete strangers right now, you know?”
“Probably...?”
Had that been the case, what would I have done when Icchi had ordered me to confess to the girl I liked? I might have had a crush on Runa, but I’d never talked to her even once. I probably couldn’t have worked up the courage to confess to her on my own.
“Wait!” Runa said all of a sudden. She looked out the window and narrowed her eyes like she was thinking about something. “I think I remember that,” she said quietly. “I still didn’t know many of my classmates...but it was a pain to go all the way to my desk in the back, so I decided to borrow something I could write with from someone nearby... And then I saw the guy sitting in front of the teacher’s podium. Our eyes met, so I asked him.” Runa told the story slowly, as if she were recalling every action step by step. Her eyes remained fixed on a single point all along. “He got flustered and gave it to me right away, so I figured he was a gentle guy.” Then, she looked at me. “So that was you back then!”
I was moved beyond words—I’d always assumed she didn’t remember that time. She had rediscovered this memory of me from when I’d been a nobody to her, and for that, I was grateful.
“Fate sure works in strange ways,” Runa began in a melancholic tone. “Relationships grow from a string of small coincidences, and big miracles like this one can happen. At this point, I can’t even imagine what I’d be like if I never met you.” Then, she grinned mischievously. “I’m so glad I forgot to write my name on that form back then!” The innocent look that came over her face was exactly as it had been back in high school. “All right! Now I can focus on studying real hard!”
“I’m rooting for you,” I said sincerely.
“Thank you, Ryuto.” Runa looked at me with sincere affection. “Even when I turn twenty-one soon, I’ll still love you.”
The smile the still-twenty-year-old Runa gave me was so supremely dazzling and beautiful—I wished I could take a picture of it together with the night scenery that stretched out behind her.
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