Chapter 5
The morning after our double date, I was on my bed and unlocked my phone. I was startled by what I saw.
Yusuke: I might be getting a girlfriend.
“What?!”
Sure, now that Icchi was handsome in addition to being tall, it wasn’t strange at all for him to get a girlfriend. But where would a total introvert like him find a girl? What was she like, and how did they become close?
Nishina Ren: What the hell, dude?!
Nishina Ren: Who is she?!
Nishina Ren: Is she cute?!
Nishina Ren: Tell us about her!
Nishina Ren: I’m gonna call you!
Nisshi seemed to be curious about it too. After immediately shooting off a bunch of messages in succession, he started a group call.
“Well, there was an offline meetup yesterday,” said Icchi.
“For KEN Kids?” asked Nisshi.
“For my fans, more like...?”
“What?”
“I met up with people who follow me on Twitter and often reply to my posts,” Icchi explained.
“Huh...”
“And there was this girl who said she really liked me.”
“Haah...”
“Hey, that’s pretty nice,” I said.
“Like, she really seems to be all over me. She’s already tweeting about yesterday too.”
“Oh yeah?” said Nisshi.
“She even gave me a present and all.”
“I see...”
“That’s great,” I said.
“We’re seeing each other this afternoon.”
Nisshi seemed to be losing interest, so I took the initiative.
“Huh... So, you’re gonna date her?” I asked.
“I dunno! If she asks for it, then maybe!” Icchi said. He was in a really merry mood.
“Okay. Best of luck, then.”
After the call ended, I felt myself getting emotional.
“So Icchi’s getting a girlfriend...”
Suddenly, the matter of Tanikita-san passed through my mind.
“Of course not. He’s too much my type.”
Then again, what could you do? If Icchi liked that girl, it was none of Tanikita-san’s business.
And as I couldn’t shake off the ill feeling for some reason, my phone suddenly vibrated—I was getting a call from Nisshi.
“Nisshi?”
“Hey, I just found the Twitter account of the girl Icchi must’ve been talking about.”
“Huh?”
He sure worked fast... And actually, did he need to go that far? Maybe he was just frustrated that Icchi would get a girlfriend too and he’d be left behind, but still.
“She’s crazy,” he said.
“Huh?”
“See for yourself. I’ll send you a link.” With that, Nisshi cut the call.
I tapped on the link and saw the girl’s account. I couldn’t contain my surprise.
“Wow...”
Chamotaro: Just back from my date with my favorite Kid ♡
The picture in her post showed two glasses on a table. But wait, if it’d been an offline meetup, hadn’t other people been there too...?
Chamotaro: Got a matching one. Think he’ll find out?
Her next post had a picture of a mug. I didn’t know what this was about, so I looked at Icchi’s account and saw that he had posted a picture of the same mug just before Chamotaro had.
Cheerful Yusuke: Got this at the offline meet. Thanks!
“She even gave me a present and all.”
I recalled Icchi had mentioned that.
So she’d bought the same mug that she’d given to Icchi for herself, and now she was acting like they were close because they had matching ones? It wasn’t a very elaborate scheme, so I couldn’t say she was particularly underhanded, but this was pretty cringe regardless.
I checked some more of her tweets and her replies to people were just wonderful too.
Minami: It’s an offline meetup, not a date
Chamotaro: lol well isn’t that Minami-san who couldn’t make it to the meet lmfao Are you too ugly? lol Don’t be so jealous ha ha
“She’s really riling people up...”
Even I cringed at this.
I called Nisshi back. “You were right, man. She’s totally unhinged.”
“See?! Icchi doesn’t realize it at all, though. I just called him, and he said she ‘simply likes him too much’ and laughed it off. He’s totally lost it.”
“And they’re gonna meet up with just the two of them, right? That’s bad,” I said. “He’s gonna get even more carried away.”
“That’s why I asked him to let you and me come too.”
“What?! You didn’t ask me first?!”
“You got other things to do?”
“My shift at the editing department starts at three...”
“Ah, don’t worry,” Nisshi said. “He told me they’re meeting up at 10 a.m., so I’m sure they’ll be done by then.”
“Eh...”
That said, I was worried about Icchi. Sure, Nisshi and I were both introverts who weren’t used to girls either, but Icchi was even more socially awkward. The excitement of our school’s festival three years ago had inspired him to suddenly confess to Tanikita-san even though nobody had put him up to it. It was hard to trust his judgment when it came to girls.
In the end, I agreed to show up to Icchi’s date with Nisshi. I got off the phone and started getting ready to go out.
Suddenly, I got an idea. I opened LINE and began typing a message to “A.T.”
***
“Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Chamotaro,” the girl said amiably to all of us.
We were in the family restaurant where she and Icchi were meeting.
I’d met up with Icchi and Nisshi thirty minutes ago and we’d been waiting at a four-person table ever since, wondering when she’d finally arrive. The moment she had, our tension peaked.
“Oh, you can sit here,” said Icchi.
“You got it. ♡”
She sat on the couch by the wall, putting her next to Icchi and in front of me. I watched her shyly.
Honestly, she wasn’t my type. If I were to describe her, her tagline would be “the sixteenth cutest girl in class” or something like that. She seemed to care about fashion and wore girly clothes with some frills. Perhaps her tastes were close to what Kurose-san had liked back in the day.
Being a KEN Kid, she must’ve been a geek, and yet she smiled a lot and seemed sociable. Was that because Icchi... Er, because her loved one was here?
“Gah. Seriously...?” Nisshi said from his seat beside me. It looked like he just couldn’t help himself.
I nudged him with my elbow a bit strongly.
“My friends said they really wanted to meet you,” Icchi said cheerfully. “We’ve been buddies since high school, and they’re both KEN Kids too. We always talked about KEN at school.” He seemed to be in high spirits.
“That’s nice! I don’t have any Kid friends at my school...” she said, sounding just as excited.
Maybe this was an indication that they were suited for each other...but I knew what she was like on Twitter. It was hard for me to see her in a positive light.
“Cha— Chamo— Chamotaro-san, how old are you?” I asked. She looked a bit young to me.
“I’m seventeen,” she replied with a smile.
“Wait, so you’re in high school?”
“Yep.”
“Huh...”
Nisshi and I exchanged glances. Not only was she unhinged, but she was still in high school...
I now had another reason why I didn’t want her and Icchi to date. That said, Icchi was all over her already, so I didn’t know what I could say to keep their relationship from forming.
“You’re really young, Chamo-san... You have such nice skin.”
“And you’re so handsome, Mr. Cheerful...”
Icchi’s “Cheerful Yusuke” username was starting to grow on me. And, at this point, wasn’t it completely ironic that his nickname was “Mr. Cheerful”?
“Wow...” I heard a voice beside me say. Nisshi was looking at his phone on his lap. “Check this out, Kasshi.”
I could see Chamotaro-san’s most recent tweet on his phone.
Chamotaro: Another date with my favorite Kid ♡ Matching drinks ♡ Love ♡
There was a picture attached that showed two glasses on a table. I didn’t know when she’d taken it, but it was true that she and Icchi were having the same kind of cola. She’d even included our location. Was she trying to assert dominance over the whole world or something?
Icchi and Chamotaro-san’s unbearable flirting continued on after that with no indication of stopping.
“That building you made was amazing, Mr. Cheerful. ♡ The one that’s like Itsukushima Shrine.”
“Ah, that? It was easy! I made it in an hour!”
“No waaay!”
“It’s a walk in the park for a guy like me!”
“Wow, you’re a genius! ♡ I love it!”
“I know, right? Don’t go falling for me now.”
“I already have, though!”
“Ha ha ha!”
While I had plenty of qualms with Chamotaro-san, at this point, I had a problem with Icchi too. Sure, maybe he was coming close to getting his first girlfriend, but I didn’t expect my close friend from high school to be so corny. Just thinking about it was gradually making my astonishment turn into something akin to anger.
The same seemed to be true for Nisshi. He looked fed up. “Whatever, man. I’m leaving. Let’s go, Kasshi,” he said.
“Yeah...” I replied.
Icchi was a goner. At this point, I wouldn’t really care if KEN were to permanently ban him after people found out he had laid his hands on a fan and it caused an outrage in the community or if he were to get arrested for having sex with a minor.
But just as Nisshi and I were getting up...
“Hey, what the hell do you think you’re doing?!” someone yelled in a voice unfitting for a family restaurant.
All the customers looked where it had come from. There was a young guy standing behind our seats, glaring at us. Naturally, I avoided making eye contact and assumed he had business with people from another table, but then, he walked straight toward us.
“So, which one of you is ‘Cheerful Yusuke’?” After looking at each of our faces in turn, he turned his glare to Chamotaro-san. “Answer me, Chamo!”
At that point, I finally realized the two of them knew each other.
Chamotaro-san hung her head in silence.
“Is it you?” the guy asked, staring at me.
I instinctively, forcefully shook my head no.
He glared at Nisshi next. “You, then?”
Nisshi strongly shook his head too.
“So it’s you...”
Icchi didn’t deny it, but he didn’t admit it either. Instead, he simply stared at the guy in a state of shock, showing no reaction.
This guy was clearly younger than us—he looked like a high school sophomore, just like Chamotaro-san. He was assertive in his speech, but he didn’t seem like a delinquent. If anything, it felt like he was a bit of an introvert—a completely ordinary teenager. That made his pure anger come across even more, and it filled me with fear.
“What do you think you’re doing with another guy’s girlfriend?” he asked.
I’d already half expected this, and his words made everything clear.
“G-Girlfriend...?” said Icchi, overcome with surprise. He wore the expression of someone who’d been cast out of heaven and sent straight to hell.
“What was all that about a date, anyway? ’Cause it sure doesn’t look that way to me. Did you think I wouldn’t notice what you said on Twitter?”
Chamotaro hung her head as her boyfriend glared at her. “Um, I’m sorry,” she said. “I was just happy to get to meet my favorite Kid... I wanted to brag about it to other girls who were his fans... That’s it...”
“Did you do him?”
“I didn’t...” she replied in a gloomy voice, still hanging her head.
“You really didn’t?” The guy glowered at her, eyes full of doubt.
“It’s true! I met him for the first time at the offline meet yesterday!”
For some reason, I desperately had to cover up for Icchi. Nisshi followed suit.
“They definitely haven’t done it! This guy’s been a virgin forever.”
“He’s not capable of it!”
Icchi remained silent.
The curious eyes of the onlookers in the restaurant hurt.
“Never see him again. You got that?” the guy said to Chamotaro-san.
She nodded deeply. Icchi, meanwhile, looked at her with sadness in his eyes.
“We’re leaving now,” added Chamotaro-san’s boyfriend.
She got up, and for some reason, Icchi did too. There was no point in me and Nisshi staying here, so we stood up as well. It was rather surreal how we all made a big line at the register and paid for our drinks from the self-service area without saying a word.
And when we got outside...
“Let’s go,” said the guy. I could still hear the anger in his voice.
Chamotaro-san glanced at Icchi and seemed to be about to follow her boyfriend without a word.
“Wait!” exclaimed Icchi. “Chamo-san!”
Chamotaro-san and her boyfriend stopped and looked our way.
Icchi’s eyes were only on Chamotaro-san. Sorrow was written on his face. “Break up with him and go out with me.”
“What?!” Her boyfriend became visibly enraged.
As people walked under the straight lines of roadside trees near the station, they directed eyes full of curiosity at us.
That didn’t stop Icchi, however. He lowered his head, looking desperate. “I love you, Chamo-san. Please...”
Chamotaro-san looked troubled. “I’m sorry. I loved you as my favorite Kid. I didn’t mean it that way...”
“What is that supposed to mean...?” he asked. Then, he lifted his face and spoke with persistence. “If you love me, isn’t that good enough?! You’re my fan, right?! Go out with me...!”
“Icchi...” Nisshi said and grabbed his arm to try to stop him. But the difference in their builds was too great—Icchi easily shook him off.
“The fuck is wrong with you, asshole?!” The boyfriend approached us, furious again. “You wanna get hurt, huh?!”
He then raised his hand high, and Icchi fell on his bottom in fear. Just like me, Icchi had probably never put his life on the line for a fight. I could understand how he felt, but he was being extremely pathetic right now.
“Chamo-san...” Icchi said desperately, his hands still on the ground behind him.
“Shut up! I’m seriously gotta hit you!” The boyfriend flared up and once again raised his hand.
But all of a sudden, someone came running up from behind us and got in front of Icchi.
“What are you, stupid?!” a high-pitched female voice said. That outburst was followed by the sound of a slap. “Stop being so pathetic! I saw everything, even from when you were in the restaurant!”
The newcomer straddled Icchi and grabbed the chest of his top.
“T-Tanikita-san?! Seriously?!” Nisshi exclaimed next to me.
He sounded astonished, but since I hadn’t told him anything, it was no wonder he was surprised.
Ryuto: Icchi might get a girlfriend. Are you okay with that?
A. T.: It’s Chamotaro, isn’t it? She seems to have a boyfriend, though. I wonder if she wants to dump him for Ijichi-kun.
Ryuto: Oh, you knew...
Ryuto: Anyway, I’ll send you the address of the family restaurant they’re meeting at.
I recalled our LINE exchange from earlier. I hadn’t noticed her there, but she must’ve been watching the whole thing from somewhere else in the restaurant.
“Why is it her?! I’m ten times cuter than her, and I love you a hundred times more!” As Tanikita-san pinned Icchi down, she barraged him with words. “Stop acting so pathetic in front of girls like her and making my three-year love go to waste! You’re too handsome for all this!”
“Eh, Tanikita... Uh, wh-why...?” Icchi finally began to speak.
“Does the name ‘Minami’ ring any bells?” Tanikita-san replied with a brazen look on her face.
“Huh? You mean...that fan who always replies to me on Twitter...?”
Tanikita-san nodded deeply. “I’m Minami. I had other accounts before, but I screwed up and you blocked me, so I made new ones.”
“Eh...?”
“Did you think I never came to any of your offline meets, despite living in Tokyo, because I was so ugly I couldn’t show my face?”
“What...? Huh...?!” Icchi kept opening and closing his mouth, seeming incapable of processing what was happening. “Wait... You...like me...?”
“I wouldn’t reply to your tweets every day if I hated you, would I?” Tanikita-san sounded so disgruntled that you wouldn’t think she was talking to the guy she loved.
“B-But do you mean you like me as a fan...?” Icchi then asked. Considering what had just happened with Chamotaro-san, he was being cautious.
“It doesn’t matter. I love Ijichi Yusuke, and I love Cheerful Yusuke too. I’ll date you if you ask, and if you want to have sex, I’ll let you do me. You’re just too hot.”
Tanikita-san had blurted that all out with a frown on her face and without taking a breath.
Icchi suddenly looked panicked. “Wait, you shot me down so hard at the cultural festival, though...”
“Because you were so fat! I’m a boy band stan, so of course looks come first to me! If you were going to confess, you should’ve lost weight first!” After rattling all that off with reproach in her tone, Tanikita-san bit her lip. She looked miserable.
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