Chapter 1
Beep-beep-beep-beep... Beep-beep-beep-beep...
My phone alarm went off next to my ear—the sound hung in the cold morning air. “Ngh...”
Taking my phone in my hand, I turned the alarm off while being careful not to touch the snooze button instead. The clock read seven in the morning.
“Phew...”
It would’ve been bad if I were to go back to sleep now. Motivating myself, I opened my eyes.
Bright light slipped through the gaps between the curtains of the window above my head. It seemed like today’s weather was good.
I got dressed, then rechecked the contents of my backpack, which I’d filled the night before.
“That’s everything I need for my four classes today...”
I’d use my daypack today since I needed quite a lot of textbooks. Black and shaped like a box, this daypack did look worn compared to when it had been new, but I still used it a lot. It had taken me through my cram school days and college exam season.
“All right...” Putting it on my back, I went to the entrance of the apartment and called out. “I’m off!”
My mother peeked out from the living room. “Take care,” she said.
Giving her a glance, I put my shoes on and stepped outside.
“So cold...” I let out inadvertently.
The morning air outside was chilly enough to bite at the few exposed parts of my body, namely my ears and forehead. I could also feel how cold my eyelashes were whenever I blinked.
I stuck my hands in the pockets of my coat and was happy to put on the gloves I’d had stowed in there. I’d gotten them for Christmas from my girlfriend a year ago. They weren’t handmade, of course, but they were great—not only were they warm, but I could also use my phone with them on.
As I got closer to the train station, the foot traffic grew heavier. By the time I passed through the ticket gates, it was crowded enough that my sleeves brushed against other people’s.
Trains departing from Station K at this hour were crowded as hell, even after those who’d just arrived had stepped off and onto the platform. Lots of the people still inside would get off at the nearby Station A, so I only had to put up with it until the next stop, but this was what made things so depressing when I had a first-period class on any given day.
I boarded the first car. I got pushed next to the door on the other side and leaned on it, pressing my face against the cold window. Unable to use my phone in this situation, I could only stare vacantly at the outside scenery.
This was the second winter since I’d gotten into college. At this time of year, it felt like the trains were one and a half times more packed than they were in the summer because of the thick coats everyone was wearing.
The bone-chilling cold I’d felt earlier was now replaced with intense heat and humidity. It always made me regret wearing a coat, but I couldn’t exactly dress lightly just because of this brief crowded train ride.
Before I knew it, the train approached a riverbank and went over an overpass. My eyes were drawn to the lines of cherry blossom trees that appeared before me. Being winter, there wasn’t a single leaf on them. Instead, they were tinged a melancholic brown.
Recalling the happy smile Runa had worn that day amid those trees, I felt my chest tighten. My feelings were the same today as they’d been back then.
When the train left Station A, I could finally stand properly without being crushed by others. Luckily, I found an empty seat. It wasn’t a priority seat either, so I could relax for a while.
I checked the messages on my phone.
Morning!
I’ll be really busy this month, but I’m gonna do my best!
That was the message my girlfriend had sent me yesterday morning.
Ryuto: How was your day?
Ryuto: Good night.
Ryuto: Good morning.
Ryuto: I’m going to my first-period class.
I sent a few new messages after the ones I’d sent the night before and closed the app. For a while, I just stared at the phone in my hand. The case on it was a little fancy for a guy’s phone, but this was the third one I’d used that matched my girlfriend’s.
Pretty much the only people who got off at the station nearest to my school were office workers and students. Everyone walked briskly and had their eyes pointed at the ground in front of them.
I checked my phone on my way to campus, but there still weren’t any replies from my girlfriend. As I passed through the stylish gate of Houo University, all I could think about was the fact that I might’ve been the most uncool student there.
I got to the lecture hall about ten minutes before the lecture was supposed to start. For some reason, however, it already had.
The elderly professor stood at the podium, not looking at the students. “I have to leave fifteen minutes early today to attend a meeting, so I’ll give you these printouts now.” He spoke in a voice so subdued that you couldn’t possibly have heard him from a distance if he weren’t using a microphone.
The lecture hall could hold several hundred people, but given how early it was in the morning and the fact that the professor had started things before the scheduled time, there were so few students here that you could reasonably count them if you wanted to.
The rows of long desks here were placed at different elevations, similar to the architectural design of ancient Greek theaters. The rows became shorter the lower you went and the closer they were to the professor’s podium.
In my experience, students kept filing in even after a lecture had started, and groups of friends would always sit in the back. That was why halfway into a lecture, the population density of the back seats would rise. To avoid getting caught up in that situation, I went to the front and sat in the third row.
“Here you go.” The professor handed me a stack of printouts without looking me in the eye.
I was the only one in the third row, and there was nobody in the fourth and fifth, so I had to get up and bring the rest of the papers to the students in the sixth row.
There, in that sixth row, a guy and a girl were sitting next to each other. When I handed them the stack, the girl took a passing glance at my face.
“...yeah?”
“Heh heh, no waaay...”
Hearing them flirt behind me as I went back to my seat got on my nerves a little.
Today’s lecture was as boring as always. This Symbolic Logic class was a general elective. I’d only chosen it because it would be a few easy credits. The things the professor would say, however, were so niche and hardcore that they all flew over my head. Some theorized that he was only teaching this to sell his book to hundreds of students every year—it was a thick textbook that cost several thousand yen. The fact his lectures basically consisted of reading said textbook seemed like pretty good evidence of that. I’d already given up on taking notes in this subject back in the first semester.
He didn’t take attendance, so there apparently were plenty of students who only read the textbook and would come to take the exam at the end of the semester. I remembered being surprised at the unprecedented number of full seats during the first semester’s final exam.
“That will be it for today. We will move on to the next section next time,” said the professor, putting an end to his ever-incomprehensible lecture. He then hastily packed up and left.
The whole thing left me feeling empty on the inside. I didn’t have any friends that I could say that to, though, so I just put my textbook in my backpack and left the hall.
“Man, I don’t get his lectures at all. What the hell is he even talking about?”
“Me neither...”
“What a load of crap.”
“I know, right?”
“Do people who go to every lecture even get any of it?”
“Who knows? This is only my second time coming this semester.”
“Damn...”
Two guys who’d come from the same lecture were talking about it right behind me.
“By the way, Yukari said she’s gonna go get a parfait in Shinagawa after this.”
“Seriously?”
“She posted about it on Instagram. I replied, and she invited me to come. Wanna join?”
“Wait, what about our next class?”
“Can’t we just ask Iida? I’m sure he’s gonna be there.”
“Ah, a’ight. I’ll go too, then.”
“By the way, I hear Yukari’s close to breaking up with her boyfriend.”
“Seriously? That guy from the advertising agency?”
“Yeah. She was talking to me about it, so maybe, probably.”
“Man, those beauty contest girls sure have high standards...”
I wanted to get away from them as soon as I could, so I stopped at the bathroom even though I didn’t need to go. They went in too, however, and we ended up lining up at the urinals.
“Forget about Yukari, though. What about that girl you mentioned from your club?”
“Oh, I’m not serious about her yet.”
“You’re, like, friends with benefits?”
“Nah, just a bit more than friends, I guess. I’d totally do her again, no problem, but she looks like the type who’d start acting like she’s my girlfriend. I’m keeping my distance for now. How’re things on your end these days, anyway?”
“I’m hitting the streets, bro. Girls are too proud here at Houo, but outside? There’re a lot of hotties ripe for the picking. Ever try hitting on them by flashing your student ID?”
“What, really? That’s enough to become a chick magnet?”
“Yeah, totally. The Houo brand is amazing, dude. Girls get this fire in their eyes when they find out you’re going to Houo.”
“Damn... I better take advantage, then.”
“Then again, it would be best if you got a girlfriend like Yukari. Me, I’ll stick to my guns and play the field.”
“Hah, dude, you’re not making much sense there.”
Yeah. He really wasn’t.
“Oh man, getting to my third class is gonna be such a pain after skipping the second one.”
“I know, right? I’ll just pretend I’ve got nothing after this.”
As I thoroughly washed my hands, lathering up the soap over and over, the two left the bathroom ahead of me.
It was relieving. And, at the same time, overwhelmingly tiring.
“I go to the same university as those guys...?” I said miserably to myself, left alone in the bathroom as I wiped my hands near the sink with a small towel.
“...but outside? There’s a lot of hotties ripe for the picking.”
Was that true? It made me a bit jealous. Quite jealous, actually... Then again, I didn’t have the balls to do that, and I had a proper girlfriend too.
But even if I didn’t have a girlfriend, it would be too much for a shy introvert like me to continuously befriend girls I’d never seen before. Just thinking it was soul-crushing.
That’s right—the important thing here was the soul. I wasn’t looking to date a girl’s hot body. What I wanted was to be open with a girl, and the resulting emotional bond would make me feel comfortable being intimate with her.
Though I hadn’t had the pleasure recently...
I remembered to check my phone, but the last message in the chat was still me telling her I was going to my first class.
I tottered to my next class as melancholy swept over me.
Thus, the second class of the day came to an end, and I made my way to one of the cafeterias. When I had back-to-back classes in the second and third time slots, there was no time to eat anywhere else.
There was also a larger, more spacious dining hall in this university that was located below this cafeteria, but I liked the stark feel of the cafeteria I’d gone to. This one resembled a classroom and was lined with the kind of long tables and folding chairs you’d find in a conference room. While it had a no-frills kind of feel, the food was hearty and delicious. There was yet another cafeteria on campus too, one with a fancy look and feel and a menu supervised by a hotel chef, but too many girls opted to go to that one. It took courage for an introvert to go there, so I’d only been there once.
This one was plain, after all. Most people coming here were hungry sports club members looking for a big meal or students who ate alone and stared at their phones all the while. As for me, I didn’t eat all that much, but as a guy, I appreciated being able to get a large serving for cheap.
I bought a ticket for pork cutlet curry, exchanged it for my food, and then sat down with my tray. I started moving my spoon to my mouth without a word, but then...
“Kashima-dono. I should have known I would find you here.”
Someone put a tray with the same pork cutlet curry down next to mine.
I greeted him. “Kujibayashi-kun.”
This was Kujibayashi Haruku—a second-year Japanese literature major and my only friend at this school.
We’d been in the same linguistics class in our first year here. When we’d paired up for conversation practice in class, we’d hit it off after realizing we were both introverts. He and I had been close friends ever since, both sticking to the shade here on this resplendent campus.
“What troubles you, my friend? You appear joyless.”
As you can see, his manner of speech was really peculiar.
He’d told me that in his first year of middle school, he’d been so introverted that he hadn’t been able to talk to anyone in his class, even come May. Anxious to do something about it, he’d made up his mind to act like a whole different person, hoping to get a chance to talk to people that way. He’d started using literary language as a result—his classmates had loved it, and he’d become popular. Ever since then, he’d apparently been unable to talk to others unless he spoke this way.
“Well... I was just feeling down after seeing some pickup artists who’d been in the same lecture as me.”
In reality, I was also bothered by the lack of a reply from my girlfriend, but talking about her to Kujibayashi-kun would upset him. I decided not to bring it up right away.
“A most curious topic, my fellow scholar. So even you experience that sort of ordeal. You, an infinitely bigger normie than yours truly.”
Incidentally, his manner of speech only appeared to be authentic, so it wasn’t like he was mimicking the manner of a specific social class from a specific era. Because of that, it didn’t look like it was against his principles to use slang.
“You’re far better in the looks department than me, though,” I said.
That’s right—despite his personality, Kujibayashi-kun was handsome. His thick brows and eyelashes, as well as his shapely, finely chiseled features, made him appear to have some Latin blood flowing in his veins. Even so, both of his parents were apparently a hundred percent Japanese. He was a bit taller than me, but his build was pretty much perfectly average, so it didn’t bother me.
He had a really bad case of nearsightedness, however, and wore thick, black-rimmed glasses. This, in turn, made his distinct features excessively prominent, so he unfortunately didn’t seem to be popular with girls. Even I hadn’t taken him for a good-looking guy until several weeks after I’d come to know him—I’d only noticed after I’d seen him remove his steamed-up glasses at a ramen place we’d visited together.
Despite my compliment, Kujibayashi-kun flashed me a cynical smile, holding his spoon in his hand.
“Thou, my brethren, art the only one who would extend me such words.”
“Well, yeah, because neither of us has any other friends...”
“Hah, hah, hah!”
I ate my curry while Kujibayashi-kun laughed like an actor in a classical play. He was my source of comfort here at this university.
“And yet I must say: Unlike yours truly who was but a clown, you, my good sir, had friends in high school, yes?” he asked. “Do you not keep in touch with your former companions?”
“Oh...”
My hands now frozen, I stared in front of me. There, at another table, was a muscular guy who seemed to be from a sports club. I watched him shovel two plates of pork cutlet curry into his mouth.
“I guess I haven’t talked to them in a while, now that you mention it,” I admitted. “They seem to be doing well, though, at least.”
Icchi was still an active Kid—I knew that much from his Twitter and from KEN’s videos. I saw Nisshi go online on a game-related Discord every now and then, so he was all right too.
The thing that had kept us together the most back in high school had been a shared interest—being fans of KEN. Recently, however, I hadn’t been keeping up with his videos. I was busy with school and my part-time job, and when I would lie down after coming home while planning to watch some videos, I’d end up falling asleep just like that. At some point, the number of videos I hadn’t watched had turned into a mountain of content—I’d never get through all of them if I just watched a few when I had the time.
“I want to see them, sure... I just don’t think we’d have anything to talk about if I saw them now.”
After graduating from high school, Icchi was an architecture major at Nichiyo University. Nisshi had gone to study law at Seimei University. These schools were in Tokyo, and both of them lived with their families, so I could see them whenever I wanted. But since I was a sociology major, we wouldn’t have much in common to talk about when it came to things we were studying in college.
“‘The flow of the river never ceases, and the water never stays the same. Bubbles float on the surface of pools, bursting, re-forming, never lingering...’”
Kujibayashi-kun had begun reciting the opening passage of Hojoki. This must’ve been a piece he’d learned as a Japanese literature major, rather than his usual mimicry.
While he was only a sophomore, he was already aiming for graduate school. He’d told me he was particularly interested in modern literature and was going to write his graduation thesis on Mori Ogai. After all that, he wanted to go for his doctorate too and go into research. Apparently, his father was a college professor as well—specializing in American literature—and he’d named his son after something in his favorite American comic books.
“If two bubbles once formed on the surface of the same pool, they may yet be brought together once more by the flow of the river.”
These words weren’t Kamo no Chomei’s—the author of Hojoki—but Kujibayashi-kun’s own. He seemed to be consoling me. Had I been making such a melancholic face?
“Thanks,” I said. “I hope it comes to that at some point.”
After that light reply, I looked at my phone, which had been lying on the table. First, I checked the time, but then my mind focused on the lack of a reply from my girlfriend. I had notifications enabled, so their absence from my lock screen meant that no reply had come. There was no point in opening the app.
I wondered what was taking her so long to reply. Surely she must’ve already woken up today and gone to work. In fact, I was concerned that I hadn’t heard from her since last night.
Is she okay...?
“My friend, is there another matter on your mind?”
Kujibayashi-kun had noticed my unease, of course.
“Well, the thing is, I haven’t heard from my girlfriend since last night...” I began.
“Oh?”
Betraying my expectations, he looked happy. Normally, he seemed jealous when I talked about her and wouldn’t listen to me much, so maybe he just liked that things weren’t going great between us right now.
“Why, she must be living a life of pleasure so ecstatic as to forget you.”
Immaturely, I replied with unconcealed discomfort. “That’s not true. She has work today.” However, my tone was proof that I wasn’t calm about this situation. “I was actually thinking she might be unwell... That’s what I’m worried about, okay?”
“Were there an emergency so severe, her family would surely let you know,” he said.
“Maybe it’s a less severe emergency.”
“Why, then, she shall recover tomorrow. Either way, there is nothing you need trouble yourself with.” Kujibayashi-kun had a smirk on his face. “May this give you a taste of how empty life feels for a Virgin Fiend who has never in his life had the pleasure of so much as touching a girl, let alone holding hands with her.”
“Virgin Fiend” was a moniker Kujibayashi-kun would use in self-deprecation. He’d gone to a prestigious all boys’ school that had spanned both middle and high school grades. The despair of having spent his youth with all knowledge of real girls out of his grasp had twisted his libido and brewed resentment for everyone who led a satisfying life inside of him. He’d become a fiend, mentally...or at least that’s how he’d described it. I don’t really understand what I’m saying here myself.
“That’s not nice of you...” I said with a deep sigh, pretending to be hurt.
Anxiety then appeared on Kujibayashi-kun’s face. He was a kind guy deep inside.
“Anyway, I gotta go,” I said. “My third class’s on the fifth floor of the south block,” I said.
“Very well...”
As I got up, holding my tray with an empty plate on it, Kujibayashi-kun gave me a shy look.
“Should it be malady, you shall hear of it by tomorrow—of that I have no doubt.”
I smiled involuntarily, having been consoled by him a second time today. “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks.”
I returned my tray and left the cafeteria. My steps were now a little lighter than before.
It really was all about the soul. I didn’t know what it was like for other people, but it seemed like I was the type to find encouragement or consolation through sincere conversations with people with whom I had mutual trust.
I used to have multiple people like that in my life. Thinking back on it now, that brief period had been the only time in my almost twenty years of living when my days had shone so brightly.
I missed my high school years, which I’d spent smiling together with Runa and my friends. Every day back then had been filled with fun and revelry.
***
The fourth class period came to an end—which was the last lecture I had today—and it was now past 4 p.m. Leaving behind the lecture hall where I didn’t have even a single acquaintance, I headed away from campus as fast as I could and hurried to the station.
At 4 p.m., the trains were still rather empty. The only things standing out were the conversations of middle and high school students on their way back from school. People on the train had peaceful expressions on their faces.
There were just enough riders to fill all the seats in the car, so I stood by a permanently closed door on the opposite side of the train and watched the scenery outside. The decorative lights in the trees that lined the downtown area outside had just turned on. Young couples were walking around, huddling close together.
At that point, my phone vibrated in my pocket. Taking it out in a hurry, I saw that it was a notification from a game saying that my action point gauge filled up.
My own mental gauge had taken a hit instead.
I got off at Station K—the one closest to my home—and headed to the nearby shopping district. There was a five-story commercial building with family restaurants and the like, and I worked in a place inside it. Right after getting into Houo, I’d become a tutor at the cram school on the first floor and taught one-on-one.
My parents paid my tuition but no longer gave me pocket money, so I’d had to find some work right away. Working at a café was the classic choice, but that would’ve been too much for an introvert. I didn’t think I could handle physical labor either.
In the end, as I’d never really done anything other than study, a teaching job had been the most accessible thing for me. Better yet, I was teaching one-on-one. I would’ve probably been too nervous in front of a crowd, but this seemed like something even I could handle. I’d known about this cram school for a long time too since it was close to where I lived, so this had become my workplace of choice.
I hopped at the entrance and bowed. “Good afternoon,” I said.
“Good afternoon,” came the disjointed replies of the employees from behind the counter as well as tutors.
I had a feeling there were a lot of introverts here who did nothing but study, so even when people from the same generation were here at the same time, there wasn’t much casual conversation. I didn’t feel all that uncomfortable here.
I went to the tutors’ lobby and left my things there before making my way to the staff room near the entrance to prepare for my tutoring sessions.
The staff room was about the size of a school classroom and had lines of folding chairs and long desks like you’d find in a conference room. The walls were lined with bookshelves, which were tightly packed with students’ files. Their names were written on the spines of the files.
“Today I have...Makimura-san for third period, and then Kuwabara-kun for the fourth,” I said quietly to myself while checking the timetable.
Second-period sessions were currently ongoing, and there were other tutors like me here who were preparing for third period too. The textbooks for the students were kept in the staff room. Everyone here would be holding sessions of their own. We tutors had to copy the materials we’d be covering today, write down answers, think about what we’d write on the board, and do other simple preparations.
Furthermore, after sessions, we had to fill out “tutoring reports” that detailed what we’d gone over and what the students’d had trouble with. We would run those reports by a staff member, put them in the student’s files, and then we could leave.
I wasn’t good at filling out the tutoring reports—I tended to write small and include plenty of details, so they took me a lot of time. We were only paid for the time we were holding sessions, so I ended up working without pay for about an hour every day I had a shift—thirty minutes before sessions and another thirty afterward.
Currently, my hourly wage was 1,400 yen. That was pretty good for a student’s part-time job, but when you added in the unpaid work time, I couldn’t be sure the working conditions were actually all that good.
I mainly taught English to middle and high school students here at this cram school. I’d said I could teach any humanities subject, but there weren’t many students who came here to learn Japanese or social studies. At the same time, there were plenty of tutors who could teach Japanese, so inevitably, I often ended up teaching English as it was in high demand. It also seemed that the staff thought too highly of my skills because I was from Houo, so they often assigned me burdensome high school students who were aiming for top universities.
And whether I was tutoring a primary schooler or a high schooler, my hourly wage was the same.
“Kashima-sensei.”
Another tutor had called out for me just as I was finishing copying some papers for my upcoming session. She was petite, looked about my age, and must’ve been a college student too—I often saw her on this day of the week. She gave off a nice, clean impression, but this was actually my first time talking to her.
“I wanted to talk to you about Megumi-chan...” she began.
“Okay, I’m listening.”
Makimura Megumi-san was a girl in her third year of middle school—I would be tutoring her for the third period today. She went to a local public school and her entrance exams were coming up, so we were working through past exams of the high school she wanted to get into.
“Kashima-sensei, you teach English, right? I teach Japanese,” the young woman said.
“Right.”
I looked at the name tag on her chest and saw it read “Umino Yuuko.” I’d seen her name on students’ files. At the same time, I got self-conscious about the fact I’d never made a connection between her name and face, even though I’d seen her plenty of times before. I was way too much of an introvert.
As I nervously wondered what Umino-sensei might’ve wanted to talk about to someone as unsociable as me, she gave me a friendly smile as though to dispel my wariness.
“Megumi-chan called you kind and handsome. She’s a big fan of yours. Recently she’s been saying she’ll miss you once her exams are over and she stops coming here.”
“Really...?”
Makimura-san was a timid girl, so I’d never gotten that impression at all. In fact, I’d been worried she might’ve actually hated me, so this was relieving to hear.
In one-on-one sessions, the compatibility between the tutor and the student was important. A student could switch tutors at any time if they or their parents requested it. The staff wouldn’t tell us why changes were made unless they were for administrative reasons, such as schedules not matching up anymore. But when you thought you were doing well with a student and they were suddenly taken away, it was shocking and made you frantically search for reasons.
Then again, I had been tutoring Makimura-san since the start of her third year in middle school, so I wasn’t worried she’d go to someone else at this point.
“By the way, Kashima-sensei, will you be coming to the nomikai party this Saturday?” asked Umino-sensei, as if the question had just come to her mind.
“Huh? People go out drinking?”
“Yes,” she said. “I just realized I’ve never seen you at one. The tutors who are sophomores and above get together about once a month.”
I’d been a tutor at this cram school for almost two years now, but I’d never heard about the tutors here having drinking parties. Was it just the social types who went and I had simply never been invited? This felt like culture shock.
“Would you like to come?”
“Yes, certainly.”
I didn’t have the nerve to refuse on the spot and couldn’t keep myself from accepting the offer. But then, something occurred to me.
“I’m still nineteen, though. Is that okay?”
Umino-sensei nodded with a sweet smile. “Absolutely. I’ve been going to it since before my birthday. You can simply order soft drinks.”
“Okay...”
I became absent-minded, having lost my excuse not to show up.
“So you were born early in the year, Kashima-sensei. I was born in February myself, so I’m glad our birthdays are close.” She smiled at me gently. “Okay, I’ll let the organizer know. Can I ask how to contact you?”
“Oh, sure...”
“You’re here today until fourth period, right? Me too. Let’s meet in the waiting room before we leave for the day.”
“Okay...”
Umino-sensei then turned her back toward me and left. As for me, I hurried to prepare for third period.
Today’s third-period session with Makimura-san was the same as always. While she listened to me talk, our eyes would occasionally meet, but she wouldn’t smile. Her behavior was confusing after what Umino-sensei had just told me.
After a ten-minute break, fourth period began. This session was the bulk of my work for the day—the highest in calorie drain.
Kuwabara-kun, my student for this period, was in his second year of high school. He went to a private school in Tokyo that focused on getting students into high-ranking universities, and he wanted to get into one of those too—potentially a national university.
Frankly, it took some nerve for a university freshman or a sophomore to tutor a high schooler regardless of either’s academic performance. I couldn’t simply disregard the fact that I’d been in high school myself until recently, and my student didn’t look all that different from me either in build or facial features. It felt awkward to act like a teacher in front of someone like that. To make things worse, he went to a school that was at a much higher level than Seirin High. In the beginning, I’d even had to wonder if I was really the right person to be his tutor.
It had been almost a year since I’d started tutoring him, so we’d come to understand each other quite well. I didn’t have such a hard time anymore. I couldn’t let my guard down, though, since if I was absent-minded while giving my lessons, he’d sometimes start shooting me pointed questions and quips.
“Sensei,” he suddenly called out to me during our session. “I got a girlfriend.”
His eyes sparkled, and he was blushing. It didn’t seem to be a joke.
“Oh, I see,” I replied, briefly glancing around.
The “classroom” we were in was a finely partitioned booth. This floor was filled with countless “rooms” like that, each with just enough space for one desk inside and a whiteboard in front of it. They were surrounded by thin plastic walls. You could hear people from nearby “rooms” almost as clearly as if they were right there with you, so when there were many sessions held at once, tutors had to raise their voices so that their students could hear them.
“Where is she from?” I asked.
There didn’t seem to be any staff patrolling nearby, so it was okay for me to chat with him a bit. Kuwabara-kun went to an all boys’ school, so he must’ve had few opportunities to meet girls.
“Another cram school,” he said. “We’re in the same Classical Japanese class there. We were having lunch together between our winter classes the other day, and she asked me out.”
Kuwabara-kun went to two cram schools. He studied most subjects he would need for college entrance exams at the other cram school in groups with other students, but since he struggled with English, he came here for one-on-one lessons.
“That’s great,” I replied, feeling happy for him.
His face darkened, however. “My parents got angry when I bragged to them about her, though. Said dating would make me an idiot and that it really isn’t the time for it when I had college entrance exams coming up. They told me to break up with her.”
“I see...”
I could understand his parents’ concerns. When I myself had been a high school senior and had gone to cram school, there’d been a couple in my class who’d started dating during summer break. The guy ended up having to settle for his fifth school of choice. The girl, on the other hand, had gotten into her most preferred one through the general admissions process. Apparently, the two had broken up very quickly after that. It was a tragic story.
Incidentally, neither of them had been friends of mine or anything—I’d heard all this from Sekiya-san. He loved breakup stories, so he’d asked a tutor he was friends with to tell him about students’ love lives in order to learn about any breakups in real time, even though it had given him heartburn and made him sulk. What a masochist.
As I got nostalgic, I realized Kuwabara-kun was staring at me.
“Did you have a girlfriend when you were in high school?” he asked.
“Yeah. I did.”
His eyes began to sparkle with curiosity. “Oh? Since when?”
“Since my second year.”
“And you were with her in your third year too?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“Did you keep seeing her even when you were taking your college entrance exams?”
“Yeah...”
“I see...” Kuwabara-kun’s face was full of life. I liked that he was so straightforward and up-front with his feelings. “And you still got into Houo University. I should say that to my parents.”
“That’s just my situation, though.”
His pure eyes froze for a moment.
“It’s up to you if getting a girlfriend makes you stupid or smart,” I added.
Had I not started dating Runa, there was no way I would’ve ever aimed for Houo University—a place that had been far out of my reach. I would’ve just done a moderate amount of studying without pushing my limits and would’ve aimed for wherever my mock exam results had said I could get into.
The last mock exam I’d taken during my third year of high school had indicated I’d fail to get into Houo University. Sekiya-san had suggested I apply to multiple departments at once, but in the end, I’d only gotten a passing grade for the humanities department.
“If you’re not confident that you can be smart about it, then I think you should do as your parents say and break up with her,” I said.
Wording things like this had a way of making people defiant. I knew that because I was the same.
As expected, Kuwabara-kun bit his lip tightly for a moment, then looked up at me. “I’ll do my best,” he said quietly but confidently.
Seeing him like that, before resuming the session, I couldn’t help but think...
Go for it, kid.
***
Having finished my two tutoring reports, I brought them to the tutor manager for review.
After affixing a seal to the reports, he said, “Kashima-sensei, next week will be Makimura-san’s last time here.”
“Oh... Okay. I understand.”
Her entrance exams were going to end around that time, so I’d expected to hear this news one of these days.
“Would you be okay with the same working days for the rest of the year?”
“Uh... Yes, I would. Although I can’t say what times would work for me until April.”
“If you’d like to have fewer sessions so you can focus on job-hunting, let me know ahead of time. Starting in February, there won’t be anyone coming in to replace Makimura-san and the other kids who will be leaving after their entrance exams, but when we get someone good, I want to assign them to you.”
The tutor manager was a small-built man who looked to be in his forties. He didn’t talk much, but when something needed to be said, he spoke in a matter-of-fact tone. I appreciated that.
“Would you be interested in holding even more sessions per day instead?” he then asked.
“Uhh...”
I was stuck trying to answer. It wasn’t because I had plans to get busy with something else, but because I’d been feeling a bit tired from this work as of late.
I was currently working here four weekdays a week after my own classes, as well as Saturdays. I had just over ten students in my care. If exam-takers like Makimura-san quit, that was going to leave me with four sophomores from high-level private schools like Kuwabara-kun. And because they all had college entrance exams coming up at the same time next year, it was clear that I’d have more work to do in tutoring them.
“Well, I won’t force you. But it would be very welcome if you did,” added the chief tutor without hesitation.
I didn’t know how he’d taken my silence, but there was a smile on his face, which was unusual—he was typically rather expressionless.
“Okay,” I replied.
As a tutor, I appreciated that a member of the staff would flatter me. Giving him a light bow, I left.
I then found Umino-sensei in the waiting room.
“Hey, Kashima-sensei.” Now clad in a thick overcoat, she looked up from her phone and smiled at me.
I felt a bit flustered. “Oh, sorry, did I make you wait?”
Umino-sensei shook her head with a smile. “No, I was about to reply to a friend of mine before leaving, so you came at a good time.”
I knew she was just saying that to alleviate my worries. She was a good person.
We exchanged contact information. I was about to leave, but she called out to me.
“Would you like to walk together until we get to the station?”
“Ah, well...”
I didn’t really have a reason to refuse, so I decided to take her up on the offer.
“Have a good night!” we both said on our way out of the school.
“Good night...” said the tutor manager behind the counter, though he did a double take upon seeing us together. He must’ve found it really unexpected that I was leaving together with another tutor. Though, to be fair, this was my first time doing that.
The shopping district in front of the station was still dazzlingly bright at 10 p.m., thanks to all the street and store lights.
Umino-sensei was short—her head was at about the level of my shoulders. It felt a bit strange walking side by side with someone I’d never talked to until today.
“Megumi-chan tells me you go to Houo University. Is that true?” she asked all of a sudden.
“Yes, I suppose it is.”
“Hmm, impressive. So you’re a Houo guy.”
Though I got that a lot, I didn’t know what to say back. As I kept silent, Umino-sensei gave me a meaningful look.
“So you must be popular with girls.”
“Not at all...” While I fully denied it at first, I realized I needed to make a correction. “I already have a girlfriend—we’ve been dating since high school.”
“Oh, I see.” A serious look appeared on Umino-sensei’s face for a moment before being replaced with a smile once more. “So you’ve been together for a long time? Three years?”
“Yeah. About three and a half now.”
“Wow. You’re really devoted to her.” She opened her eyes wide before smiling awkwardly. “That must be nice. I broke up with my boyfriend recently...”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“We’d been dating since high school, but he met a younger girl in his college club.”
“Huh...”
The topic was too personal for talking with someone for the first time. Honestly, it was hard to find what to say in response.
Umino-sensei seemed to pick up on that and smiled again to smooth things over. “Sorry. I must be troubling you by saying these things.”
“It’s okay...”
“It’s just that it’s somehow easy to talk to you. It feels like I’m talking to an old friend,” she said.
Maybe it was because I was such an introvert, but it didn’t feel that way to me at all. I was at a loss. I did, however, feel a bit happy to have a girl acting familiar with me.
We reached the parking lot in front of the station.
“Okay, see you at the drinking party on Saturday. I’m looking forward to getting to talk to you, Kashima-sensei,” Umino-sensei said and then took her leave.
As I stood in place for a while, I got a feeling of déjà vu for some reason. My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I checked the screen. It was a call from my girlfriend—I answered in a hurry.
“Hello?”
“Ryutooo!!!” came a familiar voice.
“Runa...”
Despite being outside, hearing the voice of my beloved girlfriend made a smile appear on my face all on its own. The fact that I hadn’t heard from her had been on my mind the whole day, but I stopped caring about that in an instant.
“I’m so sorry I couldn’t get back to you at all today!” she said. “When I was leaving work last night, my area manager suddenly invited me out for a drink, and I didn’t get enough sleep the night before, so just drinking a little bit made me barely able to walk. I managed to get back via taxi and slept like a log until morning. When I woke up, I only had five minutes until I had to leave, so it was a really crazy morning. I had to rush through a shower, get dressed, and then I did my makeup in a taxi on my way to work... There was no time to use my phone at all.”
During her third year of high school, Runa had started working at a clothing store alongside her job at the cake shop. She had a good figure and was affable to everyone, so she’d immediately become popular with customers. After graduation, Runa had gotten a full-time job with that same clothing company. She was currently an assistant manager at one of their stores in a fashion mall in Shinjuku.
Her hectic explanation continued.
“So when I came in today, things were crazy busy because it was the last day of a sale. There was a limited-time sale every other hour, and there were so many people trying things on and such a huge crowd at the register... The manager was off today too. I gave our part-timer girl my break time, so I didn’t have time to eat myself, and before I knew it, I went like eight hours without going to the bathroom. I really thought I was done for! We just closed up, and I finally got to leave...”
“Wow... Good job handling all that.” That was the only thing I could say.
I had to wonder—while I’d had my phone on my mind all day, had Runa actually been unable to find even half a minute to use hers and send me a message? Then again, time must’ve moved at different speeds for university students and people with full-time jobs.
There was another thing bothering me, however.
“That area manager... He’s a man, right?”
Runa had mentioned someone with that job title a few times in the past.
“Yeah, a guy in his fifties. Used to work in a restaurant. He’s this really sporty type—he often gathers up the managers and assistant managers to drink together. Even before I turned twenty, he was all like, ‘We’re gonna go drinking on your birthday!’”
“Right, I remember you saying that...”
He must’ve been an energetic, extroverted guy like Mao-san. Mao-san was her uncle, so it was okay, but this area manager wasn’t related to her, so it just didn’t sit right with me.
“Would it be bad to turn down his offer?” I asked.
“Well...” Runa seemed to give the matter some thought. “It kinda looks like he has some things to say to me recently. He’s been talking to me more and more often.”
What?!
While that objection had appeared in my mind, a total introvert like me couldn’t press her for answers directly.
“A-Are they work-related things?” I asked.
“Yep yep. But like... It’s kinda...delicate?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well... I’m still not fully confident at work,” she said. “And I think he’s just trying to figure out how I feel.”
My curiosity grew. What was that supposed to mean? Was this really just about work? He’s not just some pervert, right?! Is he trying to get her to cheat on me?! Is there really nothing for me to worry about, Runa?!
But as I knew nothing about either clothing brands or how things worked at companies, I didn’t know what exactly I needed to ask Runa to get the answers I wanted.
“What about you, Ryuto? How’d your day go?” she asked.
“Huh? Well... It was the same as always. I had my lectures, finished up at work, and I was just heading home.”
“Good work as always, Ryuto!” Runa’s energetic voice always brightened things up for me. She must’ve been more tired than me, so how could she still be so animated? “Man, I still gotta look after Haruka and Haruna after this when I get back!”
Those two were Runa’s sisters.
“Because I was fast asleep last night, Misuzu-chan must’ve gotten tired from looking after them by herself. I better take over for tonight.”
Six months after Runa had graduated high school and got a full-time job, she’d gotten new sisters. They were twins. They’d been born to her father and the woman he’d married—Shirakawa Misuzu. Her maiden name was Fukusato.
In her third year of high school, Runa had befriended Misuzu-san, and when she’d found out that Misuzu-san was pregnant that autumn, she had moved into the house where Runa, her father, and her grandmother lived.
Misuzu-san’s pregnancy hadn’t gone very well, and she’d ended up on bed rest for the last few months of it. Runa’s father was busy with work, so Runa and her grandmother had their hands full looking after Misuzu-san and making preparations for the children about to be born. Then, since their successful delivery, Runa had been proactively taking care of the children once she’d got home, no matter how tired she was from work. She’d feed them milk, change diapers, and so on. It was almost like she was their second mother.
“I gotta go, my train’s almost here!” said Runa.
“Okay. Thanks for calling. I know you’re tired.”
Through the phone, I could hear the sound of a train stopping nearby and an announcement being made.
After ending the call with Runa, I looked up while walking down the street. There was a thin crescent moon hanging low in the sky.
“Runa...” I muttered, my chest hurting a bit from how badly I wanted to see her smile.
***
Recently, I’d been frequently recalling something Sekiya-san had once said to me.
“I’ve really noticed something after I graduated high school. Compared to your time there, there’s a lot less going on in life after you graduate. High school is a really special, precious time.”
Back then, I could go to school and see Runa as if it was only natural. Icchi and Nisshi had been there too. All the people I liked were always there at the same place. There’d been no need for us to agree to meet up—it had been normal to see them, talk to them, and laugh with them every day.
Now, I was painfully aware of just how special that had been.
“Is something wrong, Kashima-sensei?” Umino-sensei asked as I absentmindedly sipped on my melon-flavored soda.
I was at the Saturday drinking party with other tutors, having come here after finishing all of the sessions I’d had today.
There were a lot of bars near the cram school, but we’d gathered at a place some distance away from the station. They’d apparently chosen this location out of consideration for the students and their parents.
This dimly lit bar had a calm atmosphere and clearly wasn’t the kind of place where college students came to fool around. I could feel that the person who’d set this place up had put thought into keeping people from cutting loose.
“It’s nothing... I was just thinking a bit,” I replied.
“Okay.” Umino-sensei smiled—she did it often. “Is this seat taken?”
“No, go ahead.”
“Thanks.” Umino-sensei sat down next to me.
There were roughly ten of us here at the moment, all tutors, and we were sitting on benches on either side of a long table. The party had started at 7 p.m.—just in time for me to be done with my work. Apparently, there would be more people joining after the end of the next period.
I knew the faces of most tutors here, but I’d never talked to them before. After we’d made a toast, I’d followed everyone’s example and made small talk for a while. But as time passed, more and more people had taken their glasses and broken into small groups with people they were close with. Since it was my first time here, there’d been nobody near me for a while now. It had been hard to endure.
Umino-sensei brought her drink over and took a sip. “By the way, there’s this girl I was going to take in to fill a gap in my schedule...”
Judging by the design of her mug, I thought she was having a highball. A faint smell of alcohol wafted from her.
“I’ll be teaching English to a girl in her first year of high school,” she went on. “So, I was choosing vocabulary flash cards and I found a set that looked nice. I showed it to my supervisor and was told it was you who left them there.”
“Oh... Those ones.”
I still used them, so I instantly knew what she was talking about.
“I’m teaching a boy in high school named Kuwabara-kun,” I explained. “He struggles to memorize English vocabulary, and there aren’t any good textbooks for that at our cram school. I went around to some bookstores to look for something fitting to use in sessions. I asked my supervisor to keep those around.”
“That’s very enthusiastic of you.”
“Not at all... I’m not very talented myself, so when I see smart kids whose studies aren’t going so well because they can’t find the right method to study, it feels like a waste and makes me want to do something about it. I think about it a lot, even when I’m not teaching sessions.”
“Wow. I couldn’t go that far, myself. You’re pretty suited to be a teacher, wouldn’t you say?”
The moment Umino-sensei had said that with an impressed tone, someone else’s voice echoed in my mind.
“You’d probably make a good teacher or something.”
I thought back on that cute, sweet, high-pitched voice. That gentle smile.
“Someone else said that to me once, a long time ago,” I replied.
Kurose-san. That’s right... Her voice must’ve guided me to this.
“I just realized... Maybe this job is something else I chose because of what that person said to me.”
Umino-sensei listened in silence, only nodding at my words.
“But now that I’ve tried being a tutor, I’m not sure if I’m actually suited to be a teacher.”
I wondered why I was telling her so much. Was it because she’d said the same thing as Kurose-san?
“I’ve been feeling a bit tired lately,” I continued. Since I was drinking melon-flavored soda, I couldn’t make excuses and say I was drunk. “I’m taking classes in a teacher-training track at my university, just in case...but I feel like it might be better if someone like me doesn’t become a teacher. For the sake of my mental health...”
“Umino-sensei!”
Out of nowhere, Imoto-sensei, the organizer of the drinking party, had called out from across the table.
Imoto-sensei was probably older than me. It had felt like he’d been working at the cram school for a while by the time I’d started, so perhaps he was in his third or fourth year of college. He could’ve even been a grad student. He was lanky and looked a bit geeky, but he was also cheerful, so he was popular with students who came for tutoring.
“Maruyama-sensei is in a choir! Isn’t that your thing too?” he asked.
“Oh, really?” Umino-sensei took her glass in hand and stood up. “I’m sorry to leave in the middle of a conversation, Kashima-sensei...”
“It’s okay, no problem.”
Watching her leave, I figured she must’ve been in a choir too.
I didn’t know anything about her, not even what college she went to. I didn’t really want to know either.
Since the ice in it had melted, my melon-flavored soda was now rather bland.
Despite how out of place I felt, I ended up staying with the group until the main part of the gathering had ended and the group was ready to leave that bar. That was because I didn’t have the nerve to gather attention to myself by saying I was leaving, even if they would all forget I’d said anything just a few minutes later.
“Now, who’s going to the after-party?!” shouted Imoto-sensei, tottering near the right edge of the sidewalk. He seemed pretty drunk, and his face was red.
It was already thirty minutes past ten, but it looked like there were many tutors here who lived in this area like I did, so nobody seemed to be concerned about missing the last train. As tomorrow was Sunday, there would generally be no sessions running at the cram school.
“All right, let’s hit the next bar!”
Nobody seemed to care if I was going to the after-party or not, so I started walking toward the station. I was intent on leaving unnoticed, but...
“Kashima-sensei,” came a voice from behind me, and a head appeared by my shoulder. It was Umino-sensei. “Are you going home?”
“Ah, yes...”
“Me too. Let’s walk together partway.”
“Okay...”
I checked to see if anyone else was leaving, but we were the only ones walking toward the station.
“You’re not going to the after-party?” I asked.
Unlike me, she seemed to be friends with everyone there.
“It’s okay. I have some reports to submit on Monday, so I don’t want to stay up too late tonight.”
“That makes sense,” I said.
“And I couldn’t talk to you much, even though I started our conversation.”
So it had bothered her. She had a strong moral character.
“Did you enjoy yourself today?” she then asked.
“Well, what can I say...?” I searched for the right words while not wanting to lie. “Maybe it would’ve been more fun if I could drink alcohol.”
“Ah, I get what you mean. I’m sorry. What month’s your birthday in?”
“March, near the end.”
“That’s pretty late. Come to the drinking party two months from now, then.”
“Hah hah...”
This was a purely forced laugh. If I were going to drink alcohol for the first time, I wanted it to be somewhere more fun.
As we chatted idly, we came to the front of the station. But even after we passed the parking lot, Umino-sensei hadn’t left my side.
“You didn’t ride your bike today?” I asked, curious.
She shook her head. “No. Since there was the drinking party tonight, I walked.”
“Oh...”
So that’s why, I thought. Even if she was riding a bike, that would still technically count as drunk driving.
“Is your place close?” I asked.
“No, it’s about a fifteen minutes’ walk from the station.”
That made sense. She wouldn’t ride a bike if it were closer.
“So you’re going to walk home?” I asked.
Umino-sensei’s eyes wandered. “Well... My family goes to sleep early, so I can’t ask anyone to come pick me up.”
“Do you always walk home?”
“When I go to these parties, I normally stay for the after-party, and Imoto-sensei takes me home after that. We live in the same direction.”
“I see...”
It was kind of starting to feel like I had to walk her home, which made me feel restless.
I recalled that time in my second year of high school that had ended with me quitting being friends with Kurose-san. I’d walked her part of the way home, and then we’d split up. After that, she’d been molested at a shrine with no one else around.
“How about calling a taxi?” I suggested. “It’s dangerous for girls to walk alone at night.”
Umino-sensei looked troubled. “I haven’t received my paycheck for the month yet, so I don’t have enough cash. I only brought my share for the main party today, and I don’t have anything in my digital wallet...”
Was that really possible? If her place was only a fifteen-minute walk away, she should’ve only had to pay the basic fare. Even if that cost more at night, it should have been less than a thousand yen.
Was she, perhaps, using this as a means of getting me to walk her home? But why would she do such a thing?
“Yeah, totally. The Houo brand is amazing, dude. Girls get this fire in their eyes when they find out you’re going to Houo.”
As I remembered what that pick-up artist had said, I hit upon a realization.
“Megumi-chan tells me you go to Houo University. Is that true?”
I replayed Umino-sensei’s words too.
“Hmm, impressive. So you’re a Houo guy.”
“I broke up with my boyfriend recently...”
She had said that...
I must’ve been overly self-conscious, though. A nice girl like Umino-sensei didn’t need to settle for a total introvert like me—there should’ve been plenty of guys she could choose from.
“It’s okay, I’ll walk. There’s this big dark park in my area without any lights and it’s a bit scary walking through there, but it’s all safe after that,” she said with a smile.
Now, when I looked back on my days in high school, they’d shone brightly. But the one thing I regretted was not doing what I could’ve for Kurose-san back then. And because I hadn’t, somewhere deep inside, I still felt guilty.
At the time, I’d had no money, little experience, and hadn’t been used to dealing with girls at all. I hadn’t known what the right thing to do in that situation had been.
Umino-sensei wasn’t Kurose-san, and I didn’t think doing this would redeem me before the latter. But I wanted to do something for Umino-sensei that I’d failed to do for Kurose-san.
“Take a taxi,” I said after walking to the taxi stand in front of the station.
The confusion on Umino-sensei’s face deepened. “But I really don’t have any money on me... And walking is free.”
“Use this.”
I took out a thousand yen bill and tried to give it to her.
“I’m out of money, so I won’t be able to pay you back,” she said.
“You don’t have to. I’m just worried.”
She wasn’t taking the money, so I put it into the bag hanging from her shoulder.
I should’ve done the same for Kurose-san back then. Instead of abandoning her halfway. I really couldn’t have imagined her encountering a molester there, though. I’d thought I’d known that such a danger existed for girls, but maybe I hadn’t truly been aware of it back then.
Having said that, I didn’t think that danger justified walking a girl who might’ve been into me home when there was no one else present. There was only one girl whose safety I wanted to ensure in person, and that was Runa, my beloved girlfriend.
So, this was the only way.
“But...” Umino-sensei was still reluctant.
“Do it for my sake, and use this money to cover the fare. Please.”
Perhaps intimidated by the serious look on my face, she took a step toward the taxi stand. A driver opened the door, and Umino-sensei got in the back, looking like she’d given up resisting.
I stuck my head a bit into the taxi. “You really don’t have to pay me back. And please don’t let it bother you. I’ll just be glad if you make it home safely.”
She didn’t say anything in reply and only looked at me awkwardly.
I stepped away from the car, and the door closed. Inside, Umino-sensei was saying something to the driver. After a while, the taxi sped off. Another taxi pulled up from behind to take its place, took in a drunken customer, and drove off too.
Here in front of the station on this late Saturday night, there were plenty of adults who looked unsteady on their feet—maybe it was because this was the season for New Year’s parties. Those who weren’t alone were all loud and seemed to be having too much fun.
After watching for a while, I headed home in silence—alone and sober.
***
“Here, Kashima-sensei.”
One day the following week when I showed up to cram school after my own classes, I ran into Umino-sensei in the waiting room. She was holding something out to me—an envelope with pretty flowers drawn on it.
“It’s the thousand I borrowed from you the other day. Thank you for that.”
“Oh... Right. No problem.”
Didn’t she say she was out of money and wouldn’t be able to return it? Regardless, I accepted it on the spur of the moment.
“Today is Megumi-chan’s last session, right? She told me yesterday how sad it makes her feel.” Umino-sensei was talking as if nothing were strange about this situation. I liked that about her, though. “Well, see you later.”
I wasn’t ready to start my session yet, and Umino-sensei was heading out before me. But just as she put her hand on the door handle, she turned around as though she’d decided to say something she hadn’t planned to.
“I’m jealous of your girlfriend. A faithful guy like you will surely treasure her forever,” she said, bashfully hanging her head. Then, she looked up at me. “I wish you the best. Even if it’s none of my business.”
With one last playful smile at the end, she left the waiting room.
Even during our last session, Makimura-san was as cold toward me as always.
Two weeks later, I overheard two tutors in the waiting room saying that Umino-sensei and Imoto-sensei had started dating.
***
“I’m jealous of your girlfriend. A faithful guy like you will surely treasure her forever.”
Was I really treasuring Runa, though? It was already February, and I hadn’t seen her this year, not even once. After the New Year holidays, I’d been busy holding winter sessions at the cram school. My schedule had been jam-packed from morning to night with students who had entrance exams coming up.
Runa often had days off on weekdays, and since that was when I had my own university classes, our schedules hadn’t lined up very well once my winter break had ended.
As if that weren’t enough, Runa was not only busy during the day with her job, but also at night when she took care of her sisters. For the past year and a half, she’d constantly looked sleep-deprived. Even on her days off from work, she still had to drop off and pick up her sisters from nursery school, write their names on plenty of diapers, pick up the solid foods they were introducing to the babies, and so on.
While I thought it might’ve been better for her to start living alone after graduating, she seemed really fond of her little sisters. Runa didn’t complain in the slightest and looked full of energy every day.
Then, one day, I suddenly got a call from her. It was around 9 p.m. on a Saturday. I’d already come home from my part-time job, finished dinner, and gone to my room.
“Hello?” I could hear the overexcitement in my voice.
But the next moment, my thoughts froze.
“Kashima-kun? It’s been a while.”
I pulled my phone away from my ear in surprise and checked the name of the caller. It definitely said Runa.
“K-Kurose-san?”
“Sorry to call you so suddenly,” she said. “I’m at Runa’s house today, and she said I could use her phone. I don’t know your number myself.”
It was really hard to hear her due to the loud voices of little children and the sounds of a children’s TV show on her end. However, Runa saying, “It’s time for bed, Haruna! You’re gonna wake up Haruka!” came through too. It seemed beyond a doubt that Kurose-san really was at Runa’s house.
“Did something happen...?” I asked, raising my voice to compete with the noise on the other end.
“Um, so, you know how I’m currently working at Iidabashi Publishing in their manga editing department?” Kurose-san said.
“Yeah, I’ve heard about that from Runa. It’s very impressive.”
Iidabashi Publishing was a major publisher everyone would’ve heard of, even people outside of the world of publishing.
Kurose-san laughed in self-derision. “It’s not. I got in through connections.”
She was a sophomore at Risshuin University studying Japanese literature. Runa had told me that on her days off, Kurose-san often read and was preparing herself to fulfill her dream of becoming an editor.
“Uncle Mao referred me,” she explained.
“Ah, Mao-san...”
I recalled that he had, in fact, been a travel writer, at least in name. Apparently, he had mainly been published online, but he also put out a new book once a year or so. It wasn’t strange that he’d have connections to a publisher.
“Anyway, other part-timers have been quitting one after another lately...” Kurose-san’s voice sank as she continued speaking. “They all come here because they admire the editors, but part-timers are only entrusted with menial work that anyone can do. Their motivation doesn’t last.”
“I see.”
“But while it’s busywork, there’s still a lot of things that need doing, and a lot of it falls on my shoulders since I haven’t quit. We can’t suddenly hire lots of people either. I was asked if I knew somebody who’d want the job, but out of everyone I know, the only student smart enough to be able to work at a major publisher who can also be trusted not to irresponsibly quit partway is you, Kashima-kun.”
“Huh?”
This sudden development took my breath away.
“Runa said you might be interested, so I borrowed her phone to call you,” she explained. “So, how about it? Would you be interested in a part-time job in an editing department? If you’re lucky, you might get the chance to meet a famous manga artist or read manuscripts for popular manga before they’re published.”
She’d kept talking about a world I’d never even thought about, which left me dumbfounded for a short while. But somewhere deep inside, I felt that a change like this might’ve been just the thing to save me from the sense of helplessness that had been troubling me as of late.
“How about it...?” Kurose-san asked once again, reserve in her voice.
“Okay,” I said. “I could try it out.”
“What?!” She was surprised, despite being the one who’d made the offer. “You’ll...do it...?”
“Hey, Maria! Can you get that diaper for me?!” I could hear Runa’s voice at that point. “Ryuto said he’ll do it? That’s awesome!”
Some part of me was relieved to hear her say that.
“You understand how people feel, and so you couldn’t leave Maria alone, right? But since you did that with Maria...I can’t let it slide.”
I still remembered her face when she’d said that to me once. But what I’d just heard Runa say meant that, unlike back then, she trusted me enough to not be bothered by me working at the same place as Kurose-san. And, of course, she trusted Kurose-san too.
My relationship with Kurose-san had been my only regret. Three years and several months had passed since the day I’d stopped being friends with her and today’s sudden call.
At this point, I already had a hunch that the start of my new relationship with her would shake up my boring university life.
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