“Y-Yes, it is...” I replied.
Seeing me tense up, Runa giggled. “Why so formal?”
Her words reminded me of what she’d said when I’d confessed to her.
“Why’re you being so formal? Aren’t we in the same class? We’re the same age and all.”
While I’d been scared stiff, she’d spoken to me in a carefree manner with a smile that day. If I could talk to myself from back then and tell him how things were between me and Runa now, he surely wouldn’t believe any of it.
We’d gone through a summer full of ups and downs, an autumn where we’d felt a distance between us, a winter where my lack of maturity had been painfully clear...and now here we were. The season when I’d fallen in love with Runa was about to come again.
“Wait here a bit, I’ll go change,” she said quietly so her coworkers wouldn’t hear her.
She gave me the box with the cake and disappeared deeper into the shop.
I idly waited for her outside, and after a while, she stepped out from the back door in her casual clothes. She was wearing that same hime gyaru outfit she’d worn on White Day.
She looked at me with a bashful smile. “Okay, then, you ready to go?” she asked.
“Yeah...”
We started walking side by side.
“Were you surprised? That I got a part-time job.”
“Y-Yeah... Totally.”
“Really? You didn’t seem to react all that much, though...”
Runa looked a bit disappointed, so I got flustered.
“Y-Yeah, I really was! I was just so surprised I couldn’t even speak...”
“Oh yeah? I guess my surprise worked, then!” Runa smiled happily. “Remember how you said a job at a cake shop would suit me? That was why I went for it when I looked for a part-time job. And I thought of this place—it’s close to where you live, it’s fancy, and it has delicious cakes.”
Runa’s excitement was written all over her face as she spoke. I could tell she’d been eager to tell me about this all along but had been restraining herself.
“The uniform is a bit different from what you imagined, though, right? I still think it’s cute,” she said.
“Well, it’s...refined? And stylish. It suits you.”
“Really...? I’m happy to hear that.” Runa smiled shyly. “Nicole told me that food places are often strict about how you look, but thankfully, since we wear hats at work, I can pin my hair up and they don’t complain too much about the color. They did tell me not to go overboard with my nails, though, so I’ve been keeping them shorter and not so flashy these days.”
She showed me her hands—her nails had been painted the elegant color of cherry blossoms.
“Serving customers seems like it’s a thing I’m good at! All the employees and the customers are nice people, and the leftover cakes and sweets are delicious—every day is so much fun!” Runa said. Her energy was so infectious that I was having fun too.
“What made you get a part-time job?” I asked.
I recalled a conversation we’d had when we’d just started dating.
“What about you? You don’t have a job?”
“Nah, I’ll pass on that. Nicole tells me about some real bad customers sometimes, and that sounds stressful. I get by with the allowance my grandma gives me here and there.”
Since she’d told me that back then, I had to wonder why she had changed her mind.
“I wanted to move forward too. Didn’t want everyone to leave me behind.” A serious look appeared on Runa’s face all of a sudden and she hung her head a little. “Maybe I just...wanted to find something to center my life around so I could feel like I’m standing on my own two feet. I’ve always been pushed around by the currents, after all. My family or other people always decided things for me.” Then, she looked forward. “Anyway, I wanted to start something so I could seriously think about my future.” A smile appeared on her face again, but there seemed to be a trace of self-deprecation in it. “Though...it’s embarrassing to admit that I got a job at a cake shop because you said it would suit me—I guess I’m kind of getting pushed around by the currents, after all.”
As we chatted, we had taken a train to Station A, and we were now walking toward Arakawa.
Apparently, there were rows of cherry blossoms on the riverbank there that Runa liked. I’d heard they started blooming early this year, and the ones in the Tokyo metropolitan area had actually already reached full bloom. As my birthday was going to overlap with cherry blossom season, we’d hoped to celebrate the former while doing some flower viewing. Things were going just as planned.
We passed through the busy shopping district and headed through a residential area to the river. As we walked, I thought about what Runa had said.
I had been influenced by many people, sure, but was that equivalent to what she feared she was doing?
“I think that if you find yourself moved by someone’s words...that’s because whatever they said was already inside you from the start—at least on a subconscious level,” I said, reflecting on myself. “And if that’s the case, then I don’t think doing what they mentioned is the same as being pushed around by the currents.”
Runa opened her eyes wide.
“For example... If I said I thought teaching math to middle schoolers would suit you, would you have gotten a job as a private tutor instead?”
Looking startled, Runa waved her arms all around. “No way! There’s seriously no way whatsoever! That’d never happen!”
“See?” I couldn’t help but smile at her reaction. “You can avoid things you don’t like or can’t do.”
She gazed at me as if I’d just said something that had never occurred to her.
“So you aren’t being pushed around by the currents... You just have relationships with the other people in your life.”
Previously, I’d had few friends and no girlfriend—and no opportunities to come to a realization like this. But after I had really met Runa, I felt like I’d somewhat come to understand what it meant to have other people in your life.
For the most part, I tended to only think about the relationship between us, but I had connections to others as well.
It was fun to talk to Icchi and Nisshi about KEN, but there was more to our friendship. We were by each other’s side in both good and bad times. They’d shown me firsthand how difficult love could be. Sekiya-san, being older, was always several steps ahead of me—he gave me food for thought and made me realize things I wouldn’t have otherwise. Yamana-san and Tanikita-san taught me how different girls could be from guys. And as for Kurose-san... She’d been my first love and had given me so many different experiences that I couldn’t sum up in a couple of sentences.
I’d been influenced by many different people, and here I was now. Perhaps my core thoughts had been influenced by my parents since they’d raised me, but that wasn’t the only thing that had helped me grow until now... It had been the people around me who’d taught me things that I couldn’t have learned at home—such as how other people felt and how some things in this world were just out of our control.
The same must’ve been true for Runa... Perhaps even more so for her than for me, in fact, given how loved she was by the people around her.
“You’ve been inspired by all those people who are precious to you, right?” I asked. It would make me happy if I was counted as one of those people. “Besides, I’m influenced by you too.”
“Huh...?” Runa looked surprised by that. “For real?”
“Yeah... Like I decided to go to cram school so early because I’m thinking about our future together...”
At cram school, I’d met Sekiya-san, and he’d inspired me even more. I’d then decided to aim for Houo University after being influenced by KEN, whom I respected.
“I don’t have as many friends or acquaintances as you, but I’ve realized that I’ve been inspired by all kinds of people in my life.”
Runa blinked slowly. “I think that’s true, in your case. You think everything through before you act.” Then, she slowly looked downward, as if a bit dispirited. “I’m happy that you’re giving me support...but there was definitely a time in my life when people kept deciding things for me. Like my experiences with my exes.” Runa glanced at me as she said that. She then went on, still hanging her head, and I held my breath. “It’s easy when people decide things for you. If you just do as the other person wants, it will look like everything’s going well...even if later on it turns out not to be the case.”
As she recalled her relationship experiences, it felt painful for me too.
“Guys have a strong sex drive, don’t they? I don’t get horny like that for other people and can’t keep up with that, so it was easy for me to just let them do as they wanted with my body.”
At that point, something occurred to me.
“W-Wait!”
The moment when Runa had hurriedly pulled away from me on the balcony replayed in my head.
“Uh, Runa, I’m sorry about that night on our school trip...” I began.
It had been on my mind this entire time. The feeling of guilt over not having properly apologized to her had made me flustered, and it was difficult to speak articulately about it now. But I did manage to say it, and all at once. We’d stopped at a red light that night—and now that I had the opportunity, I lowered my head to her as well.
“I really regret it. I’d said I’d wait until you wanted to do it with me, but I lost control and didn’t take your wishes into consideration... I’ll make sure that never happens again. From now on, when we’re alone, I’ll control myself, like I’ve been castrated...”
“Castrated?! And wait just a moment!” Runa hurriedly interrupted me. “Listen to me, Ryuto.”
Raising my head, I saw a small smile on Runa’s lips.
“That whole thing I said about me letting my boyfriends decide things for me while I wasn’t horny was only true before I started dating you,” she said. “That night, I felt different.”
“Huh...?”
“The reason I couldn’t get horny with my exes wasn’t because I’m a girl and I didn’t have much of a sex drive—it was because I didn’t like those guys all that much.” Her smile was a little bittersweet. When our eyes met, her expression turned bashful. “When I kissed you that night on the school trip... It was awkward for me, sure, but...it also felt really good.”
As she spoke, she looked around, seeming to mind her surroundings. There weren’t any passersby around us, though—there were only some cars driving past.
“My love for you began to overflow from deep in my chest... My head became full of you, and I wanted to feel you more... Before I knew it, I lost myself in that feeling.”
“Wait, but...”
While I was happy and moved by her words, I couldn’t get the way she’d acted back then out of my mind.
Runa smiled as if she understood what I was thinking. “I stopped you that night...because if we kept kissing there, we would’ve probably gone all the way.”
“What?!”
My heart nearly exploded—I hadn’t expected her to say that at all.
“I mean, we were on a balcony... And besides, neither of us had...condoms...” Her voice grew quiet, and her cheeks became bright red.
“Oh, right...” I was embarrassed too. I could feel my ears heat up.
Runa touched my hand. Even though it was my right hand, she took and held it regardless.
“It’s awkward, but I know now that I wanna get closer to you anyway,” she said quietly, drawing closer to me. “It makes me feel awkward, but happy too. Touching you, that is.” Holding my hand tight, she looked up at me and smiled. “I’m glad I’ve realized that.”
“Runa...”
The lump in my chest disappeared and was replaced with my overflowing love for her.
At that point, I noticed that the light had turned green—it had actually done so several times since we’d stopped here. We hurried across the crosswalk.
The path ahead led to a bridge, and the riverbank was right after that.
“Wow, they’re blooming, all right!” Runa exclaimed while we walked across the bridge.
From where we were, we could see rows of pink cherry trees. They were in full bloom, just as the forecast had said.
“They’re so pretty!” said Runa.
Once we reached the riverbank, we walked past the rows of trees while holding hands. This was our spring break, but it wasn’t a weekend, so there weren’t all that many people here. I could only see a few others here and there—some were looking at the trees, and then there were families with little children having picnics on blankets.
Past the rows of trees was a railway overpass. Trains passed by on it every now and then—the same ones we took every day.
“This looks like a good spot!” Runa said.
She spread a picnic blanket out on the ground next to a beautifully blooming tree. Its branches hung down toward the ground. A perfect tree to view the cherry blossoms.
When I sat down, Runa adjusted herself into a formal pose and gazed at me. “Happy seventeenth birthday, Ryuto!” Her smile, too, was in full bloom, just like the cherry blossoms.
“Thank you...”
This was the best birthday I could’ve ever had.
I wondered what good deeds I must’ve done in my past life. It didn’t feel like I could do as well in this one, but I wanted to know anyway, for future reference.
“A’ight, let’s eat!” exclaimed Runa.
She opened the soft cooler she’d put down on the blanket and took out an angular lunch box.
“Since we have a big cake, I made some light sandwiches.”
Opening the lid, I was greeted by the sight of neatly cut sandwiches packed tight in the box. Sandwiches with eggs, ham, tomatoes, lettuce, and cheese alternated among themselves, creating a colorful spectacle inside.
“I didn’t want it to be too light, though, so I also brought karaage.”
Giggling, Runa took out another box. When I opened it up, the golden-brown meal inside awakened my appetite.
“Sorry this is all kinda random,” she said.
“Nah, it’s good. As a guy, this is just what I like.”
“Heh heh. I remembered how much you ate on that sports day.”
It was a bit awkward to think she’d taken notice at the time.
“Thank you, looks delicious.” Expressing my gratitude for the meal, I dug into my birthday lunch.
The sandwiches were just as delicious as they looked, and the karaage were just as tasty as I remembered them being on our sports day. Runa blushed and smiled happily when I told her all this.
“Okay, now it’s time for dessert!”
With that, she picked the cake box up off the blanket—the one with the birthday cake she’d given me at Champs De Fleurs. I didn’t know too much about cake sizes, but it seemed a bit too big for two people to eat. Maybe four people could finish it off.
“Ah, the candles! Wanna light ’em?!” Runa asked, noticing a package of candles attached to the box.
“Huh? Won’t they go out on their own before I can blow them out?”
It was windy here, maybe because we were next to a river. The wind had only gotten stronger as the afternoon wore on—enough that it felt a bit cold, even.
“But it would be nice...” countered Runa. Rummaging around in her bag, she took something out. “Well, it’s a good thing I brought this!”
In her hand was a generic lighter that one could buy at a convenience store.
“Do you always carry a lighter?” I asked a bit nervously.
It’s not like she smokes...
Runa nodded calmly. “Oh yeah. I use it to heat my eyelash curler. Works really well! I learned it from my mom. There are electric curlers nowadays, but normal ones are much faster once you get used to them. Even Nicole and Akari started using them after seeing me do it. It’s really hot if you get your eyelid caught in it by accident, though.”
“I see...”
As always, she was a gyaru, all right. It brought a smile to my face to see her being her usual self.
“Happy birthday, Ryuto~! ♪”
Runa put the candles in the cake and managed to light them in a moment when we had a break from the wind. She began to sing and clapped in time with the tune. There wasn’t anyone near us, but it was kind of embarrassing—I almost felt like a little kid at his birthday party.
“Happy birthday, Ryuto~! ♪ All right!”
Runa finished her song and urged me to blow out the candles. I leaned in toward them.
“Woo-hoo!”
I blew the candles out while Runa clapped for me. The beginning of my seventeenth year of life felt awkward, but I was happy.
“I made this cake, you know,” she said.
“What?! Really?!”
I looked at the cake again in surprise. The fresh cream on the sides was nice and smooth, and the fruit and chocolate decorations looked just as good as a regular store-bought cake.
“Wow...”
Runa got flustered. “Umm, o-of course, the head baker helped me. I did...like thirty percent of it? Or maybe like ten...?”
That explains that.
“He told me to act like I made the whole thing myself, but there’s no way that’d fly...” she said quietly as if speaking to herself, but then she looked at me. “But still! That writing is a hundred percent my work! I practiced so much every day, so I improved at least a bit at doing that, right?”
“Yeah, the writing looks nice. Thank you.”
Nothing felt off about it, and I’d just assumed the head baker had written it. Now that I looked at it more closely, I could notice the same roundness in Runa’s usual handwriting in the way my name had been written.
“It was real bad at first. ‘Happy B’ was all I could fit.”
“Who’s ‘B,’ anyway?”
“I know, right?” she said. “My coworker was like, ‘Is that short for Bob? Bobby?’ Her name’s Orito, by the way. She’s the one we saw at the food court.”
“Ah.”
“I told her afterward that I was still keeping my job a secret from my boyfriend and was gonna surprise him for his birthday. She asked the owner to give me my paycheck early. Also, I actually didn’t have work today, but the owner let me wait in the back room in my uniform just so I could give you the cake.”
Runa had a natural talent that no matter where she was, the people around her loved her. I was sure of it. Her coworkers must’ve wanted to do something for her. It did worry me a bit, but as her boyfriend, I had to stay composed. After all, this was one of her strengths, and she should’ve been proud of it.
“Mm, delish!” she exclaimed.
We’d cut the cake up and were eating it together. It was as good as any other cake from Champs De Fleurs. The fresh cream on the outside was thick, but not too much. The moist sponge cake perfectly melted in your mouth—a feeling that was further improved by the fresh sourness of the fruit. It wasn’t something you’d get tired of eating.
“Then again, a whole cake really is too much for the two of us,” I said.
“Well, let’s take a break for now.” Runa put down her plastic fork and picked up her phone instead. “Hey, look here.”
Seeing an image of myself making a stupid face on Runa’s phone, I realized she was about to take a selfie.
She nestled close to me. “What a great shot! The cherry blossoms and the blue sky are so pretty!” she said.
After snapping several selfies with both of us in them, Runa went on to take some solo ones.
“I gotta take a ton of pics!”
“These cherry blossoms are in full bloom, after all,” I commented.
The pink scenery spanned dozens of meters. It must’ve been the perfect spot for a gyaru to take selfies.
“Yeah. And also...this is the last time I’ll have this hair color.” Runa then looked at her phone with a bit of sadness in her eyes. “I’m going to the salon tomorrow. Gonna finally get black hair again.”
“What...?”
While I wondered why she would do that, I also recalled something she’d said earlier.
“I’ve been dyeing my hair ever since my second year in middle school... But recently, I’ve been thinking maybe I should make it black again.”
Had she been serious about it?
“You’re really going to make it black?” I asked.
Something else she’d once said came to mind too.
“I’m a gyaru, and I wanna do all the things that gyaru do. All the places I wanna go, all the things I wanna do—none of them interest you at all, right?”
And besides... Like she’d just said, she loved gyaru makeup enough to use a lighter as part of her beauty routine. Being a gyaru was such a big part of her identity, and here she was, saying that she’d get rid of what could be considered the gyaru symbol—her blonde hair?
“Yeah. You prefer black hair, right? I remember the way you looked at me that time on the school trip,” Runa replied meekly as she gazed at me intently.
“Do you really want to dye it black...?”
“Huh...?”
“If you even have the slightest hesitation...and you just want to dye it because that’s my preference...you don’t need to.”
My words left Runa speechless. She looked astonished.
“Remember that time at the beach hut when we talked about our tastes in members of the opposite sex?” I asked.
“If we’re talking about girls that are my type, it’s true that I prefer pure and proper girls over gyaru... But... Shirakawa...Runa-san is my type, I think.”
“Like I said back then... The girl named Shirakawa Runa is my type.” This was a bit embarrassing to say out loud, so I kept my eyes down. “I fell in love with you, a girl who already had this hair color...which means I like it too.” I didn’t know what kind of face Runa was making right now as I kept speaking. “If there’s a hair color you actually want to have and you dye your hair again, you’d still be my type, even with a new color.” I didn’t know how to say this coherently and anxiously searched for the right way to end my thoughts. “I can’t explain it very well...but if you want to change your hair for my sake, there’s no point in that. After all...you’re my type, no matter what you’re like.”
Having seen Tanikita-san be so picky about fashion led me to realize something. People who cared about fashion and style seemed to really mind one’s clothing and personal appearance.
Which was why...
I was far removed from the concept of fashion myself. I didn’t want to force my own simple preferences on the one special girl in my life. I didn’t want to influence her that way.
“I just...want you to do as you like,” I said. “With your hair, your clothes—everything.”
When I raised my head at last, I saw that Runa was looking at her hands with a brooding expression on her face.
“Also, I do like that outfit, but it’s okay if you don’t wear it for all our dates.”
Runa looked up at me. She looked a bit relieved, which convinced me that I hadn’t missed the mark.
“I want you to spend your days looking in a way that makes you the most comfortable... I fell in love with you, and I think living that way is very much like you.”
At that point, Runa spoke up as if explaining herself. “It’s not like I’m forcing myself. I really just wanted to make you happy, that’s it...”
“I know.”
I knew Runa was that kind of girl.
“I just want to be with you for a long time...” I continued. “I mean...” Considering what I was about to say, I grew a bit bashful and hung my head. “I’m sure I’ll love you regardless of what hair color you have...even after you grow old and your hair turns pure white.”
“Ryuto...”
Raising my face, I saw that the area around Runa’s eyes was red. Tears were welling up in her eyes. When she noticed my gaze, her usual cheerful smile appeared on her face.
“That might actually be fashionable in itself! Maybe I should do like my grandma and dye it purple or pink! I kinda can’t wait!” she said. Then, Runa picked up her phone, tapped on it a few times, and brought it to her ear. “Hello? This is Shirakawa. I have an appointment for tomorrow... Ah, yes! Um, can we change it from dyeing my hair black and just doing the usual color instead? That’s right. Okay, see you tomorrow! Thank you!”
After ending the call with what must’ve been the hair salon, Runa gazed at me. The edges of her eyes were still red.
“Thank you, Ryuto,” she said thoughtfully, then laughed all of a sudden. “I’ll love you even if you become a bald old man too.”
I had to laugh as well. It spread through my chest, filling it with warmth.
“Oh, actually, I probably won’t end up fully bald—I just won’t have as much hair as before. Genetics...” I said.
“Ah, the same might be true on my side. The same thing’s been bothering my dad lately.”
“Really?” I asked. “I couldn’t tell at all.”
“He had coarse hair when he was young. He gets an undercut to hide the thinning parts.”
Little by little, we finished the rest of the cake as we chatted.
***
After finishing our meal, we packed up the picnic blanket and began walking through the rows of cherry blossom trees again.
“Wow, the petals are flying everywhere!” said Runa.
A strong gust of wind blew from the river, picking up numerous light pink flowers from the tree branches and sending them on a journey. They gathered and swirled in the air before flying toward us.
“The flowers only just opened up, but with a wind like this, the petals fall right away,” I said.
“Yeah... You can only see the cherry blossoms in bloom here for about three days a year.”
“I guess we made it, then.”
“Yep! It’s so lucky that it was on your birthday!” Runa said in excitement. Suddenly, something at her feet caught her attention. “Ah!”
She picked up a branch of a cherry blossom tree that had fallen. The stem was about as thick as a pinkie finger and was filled with blossoms and partially opened buds.
“Huh? How’d a good branch like this fall off?” Runa looked up, but there was no way to tell which tree it had come from.
“Maybe the wind knocked it down?” I asked.
“Poor thing... These could’ve still bloomed...”
“Do you want to take it home?”
“Huh? Is that okay?”
“It was on the ground anyway, so why not?”
“I guess so... It would just wither if I left it here,” she said.
Staring intently at the branch, Runa held it from the base.
“Isn’t this perfect to put in that bottle of Oronamin C?” she asked once we’d resumed walking. For some reason, she blushed—she always did that whenever the subject of putting flowers in bottles came up. “Maybe I should buy another bottle...”
“Why?”
“Well, uhh, i-it would kinda make me feel better...” she stammered. “Oh, yeah! The old one still has one of the flowers I got from you in it!”
“What? Hasn’t it been two weeks since then? Is it still alive?”
“Y-Yeah... Just barely...”
“You should throw it out if it’s wilted. We had a flower in a vase on a table before, and we noticed that once it started wilting, it was attracting bugs,” I said.
I figured that she might not’ve been telling the truth here and was just feeling guilty because she had thrown it out. I remembered she had previously mentioned pressing flowers too. But if she really did still have that flower, it was unsanitary at this point, so I made sure to tell her so.
“Y-Yeah, I’ll do that if I have to...” she replied, mumbling a bit, and then looked at me. “Actually, is it okay for me to take this branch?”
“Huh?”
Runa gazed straight at me. “I mean, it’s not every day you find such a pretty cherry blossom branch.”
After Valentine’s Day, things had become frustrating in our relationship for a while. Runa hadn’t been able to look me in the eye or hold hands with me. But, at some point, we’d gone back to being able to gaze at each other like this.
As I gently reached out and took Runa’s dainty hand, she bashfully tightened her grip on mine.
“Sorry it’s my right hand,” I mumbled.
Runa’s face immediately turned beet red. “Stupid...” She looked up at me with reproach in her eyes, her face flushed like a boiled octopus.
This sort of thing was the difference between her old and current self.
We had changed a bit in some ways and had remained the same in others. But regardless, we were moving forward, and I felt that way from the bottom of my heart.
“So, is it really okay for me to take this? It’s your birthday,” she said again.
Suddenly, I remembered how she’d smiled as she held the bouquet I’d given her on White Day, and how I’d felt as a result.
“Yeah. Be my guest.”
I already received a bouquet every day—one by the name of Runa. It contained many different flowers: bright and energetic ones like sunflowers, but also sweet and dainty ones like baby’s breath.
The more I learned about Runa, the more flowers appeared in that bouquet, making the whole picture more colorful. It made me happy, and I looked forward to seeing it.
This was our last spring as high school students. Then would be summer, autumn, winter...and eventually, there would be a day when we’d take off our uniforms for the last time. Come next spring, Runa would become an adult, a woman with yet another aspect to her personality.
Runa wasn’t going to college, so she might become a full-fledged member of society earlier than me. Maybe I’d have to chase her back again. While that made me nervous, it also made me want to see her new self.
At the same time, I loved the current Runa. I kind of wished we could be in high school forever, even though I knew it was impossible.
There was one thing I could say for sure—I was in love with all of the flowers currently blooming in Runa, as well as all the buds waiting to open.
I wanted to embrace all of her. And no matter what other flowers bloomed in her in the future, I would still do so.
Then and there, tightly holding hands with Runa as a strong gust of wind sent a flurry of cherry blossom petals our way, I made up my mind.
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