I could practically hear the invisible barrier that had been separating the two of them all this time crumble at last. They had finally managed to go back to being real sisters.
“Hey, Maria, look at this,” said Runa, suddenly taking an item out of her pocket and showing it to her sister. It was the earring with the moon and the star. “This isn’t a star. See these lines here? Didn’t you notice? It’s not a star—it’s a starfish.”
Surprised to hear that, I looked toward the earring. I couldn’t tell much from where I was standing, but Kurose-san gazed at it in astonishment.
“Like I said, these don’t have a moon and a star. They have a moon and a starfish,” continued Runa, looking gently at Kurose-san.
The Japanese word for “starfish” contained the kanji for “sea,” just like Kurose-san’s given name did.
“The moon and the sea... That’s our theme. That’s why I wanted you to have it.”
When Kurose-san heard her sister’s explanation, tears began to stream from her eyes. As she crouched and began to cry loudly, Runa crouched down too and gently patted her head.
They looked like two very young twin sisters who were great friends and had never been apart from each other for a moment in their whole lives.
***
The next day was Saturday, and Sekiya-san came by as I studied in the cram school’s study room.
“It’s not often I see you here in the morning,” I said.
Since the start of the year, he had been busy with college entrance exams every weekend from the morning onward.
I wondered if it was clear which college he’d be going to at this point, but Sekiya-san averted his eyes, looking dejected.
“Yeah, well. I originally had today reserved to take the second stage of an entrance exam.”
I didn’t know what to say. His being here instead must’ve meant that he’d failed the first stage of the exams for the college that was holding second-stage exams today.
It didn’t look like things were going all that well for him.
At lunch, Sekiya-san and I ate outside together for a change of pace. We went to the same chain ramen family restaurant that we often went to together.
Sekiya-san stirred his ramen bowl with his chopsticks. His noodles were mostly gone by this point. “So, have you decided what college you wanna go to?” he asked, though he didn’t look very interested. He was probably just desperate to distract himself from his own exams.
“N-No... I still don’t really know what I want to become.”
I’d given it a bit of thought after Sekiya-san had brought up the subject, but I still hadn’t decided on anything specific.
“Are you going for humanities or sciences? You should be able to decide if you’ve at least made that choice.”
“Probably humanities... No idea what department, though.”
“Why not just apply to every humanities department at the college you wanna go to?” he suggested. “And if you manage to get into any of them, you can consider it fate.”
“Huh? B-But if I’m going to college, shouldn’t I at least have a clear view of my future and decide based on that...?” I said, recalling Kurose-san’s words.
Sekiya-san knit his brows. “You take things too seriously. Your parents are gonna pay your tuition regardless of your major or what college you go to, right? What’s the point in giving it so much thought?”
“Why did you decide to study medicine, Sekiya-san?”
He lowered his eyes. “My dad’s a doctor.”
“What...?!”
“He’s an ENT, working near our home. It’s a small office, but he seems to want to pass it on to his children. My sister has no interest in becoming a doctor at all, so ever since I was young, it’s been kinda decided on its own that I’d be inheriting it.”
So he’s the son of a doctor, huh...
It now made slightly more sense that despite him being a ronin who had to pay high tuition for cram school, he didn’t seem to be all that short on money.
“Wow, Sekiya-san...”
“Well, I guess I might’ve hit the jackpot with the family I was born into. Though I wonder what my dad thinks of me...” His expression was dark, perhaps due to the fact his college entrance exams weren’t going well. “You know, I failed my middle school entrance exams too. All three of my top choices. Dad said I might as well go to a public school instead of a private one that was easy to get into, so I went to a local one.”
That must’ve been the “North Central” one where he’d met Yamana-san.
“I’m not all that smart to begin with. I wasn’t an honors student in primary school either. I only managed to get into a decent high school because I did well in my club at middle school.”
And I already knew the rest of the story.
“I don’t wanna disappoint my dad anymore, and that’s why I’m trying my best...but I dunno if I can really get in anywhere,” he said with a dejected look on his face.
“Sekiya-san...” I couldn’t say anything irresponsible to him here as the only entrance exams I’d ever taken were for high school. “I envy you, though. You have something you want to become so badly that you’re devoting yourself so much to studying,” I said, trying to approach the subject from a different angle.
Sekiya-san smiled a little at that. “Well, it’s not so much me wanting to be a doctor as it’s simply wanting to take over the family business since we have one. If my dad was CEO of a company, I might’ve wanted to take over that instead.”
“Eh...?”
“Aren’t things easier that way? There are countless professions out there. How’s a kid who’s never worked once in his life supposed to find his calling before he’s become a member of society? Why not just do something first, and if it doesn’t suit you, look for a different path? People live for a long time in this day and age, you know.”
I felt like what he said was reasonable, but I was still hanging my head, unsatisfied with the idea.
“I get why you wanna be careful about this,” he said. “You’re the serious type and all. But I think it’s fine to not care so much. Like, you could aim to become a doctor because your dad is one. If you ask me, it’s okay to choose what college you wanna go to that way. You’re not gonna get motivated if you don’t have a goal, right? And you do want to go to college, yeah?”
Seeing me nod, Sekiya-san went silent for a bit before he continued.
“Before I became a ronin, I actually couldn’t decide on my future. It was my dream to become a doctor, but thinking about it realistically, I was worried if I’d get accepted into college or not. Plus, I fooled around back then, so I didn’t really manage to prepare for my exams... Had I been working at it since I was in high school, things might’ve been a bit easier for me now, even if I’d still ended up a ronin.”
Then, he looked directly at me sitting across the table from him. “I’m saying that if you don’t wanna have such regrets, you should decide quickly. And then set your sights on somewhere a bit hard to get into. You still have a whole year left, so that’s gonna push you past your limits. If I wasn’t trying to become a doctor, I definitely wouldn’t be studying this much.”
Suddenly, a thought occurred to me: what if Sekiya-san was so regretful about this precisely because he was having to take college entrance exams almost every day now?
“B-But I don’t know much about different colleges yet...” I replied.
I’d always thought that people decided which school they wanted to go to after visiting different campuses, gathering materials, comparing different options, and then taking one’s vision for their future into consideration. You’d also have to take into account how well you did on mock exams, of course. I was freaking out at the fact that Sekiya-san was close to making me decide on my first-choice college here and now.
“You choose the college you wanna go to based on inspiration. Love’s the same way. You don’t pick who you get a crush on after thinking things through, right? It’s the same with colleges. It’s okay to just wanna go there because it has a cool name or your favorite idol goes there. If you set yourself a goal, you’ll be able to work hard for it.”
The moment I heard that, the name of a certain university flashed through my mind.
“It turns out KEN is a graduate of Houo.”
My heart was pounding.
No way... Is it really okay to decide things like this?
Still, if I could get into Houo...
When it came to starting to look for a job, I certainly wouldn’t be putting myself at a disadvantage by saying I’d gone to Houo. It wouldn’t hurt for the rest of my life, for that matter...
It felt like I could see countless possibilities for the future open up before me in an instant.
Could I really go there...? Roughly five people from my school got into top-level universities every year. Could I be one of those five?
“They say academic history doesn’t give much of an advantage these days, though,” said Sekiya-san. “Nowadays, even astronauts don’t need a degree. But the name of the college you went to? That’s a certificate of your efforts. Even a genius who could fully memorize a textbook after reading it once couldn’t get into college if he never read the textbooks at all.”
There was passion in Sekiya-san’s words. Perhaps he’d been rousing himself with this kind of talk all the time.
“With that in mind, don’t you wanna give as good a certificate to your future self as you can with the effort that your current self is able to put in?” he asked. “I’m saying this because I think you’re the kinda guy who can put in the effort.”
“You sure are passionate about this, Sekiya-san.” I had to poke fun at him on the spur of the moment. It felt awkward having a conversation with him in such a tone.
“If you go a whole year studying for thirteen hours a day, you end up thinking about a lot of things,” Sekiya-san replied in a similarly joking tone. He then assumed a relaxed expression. “Real talk, though—when I look at you, you make me think of myself in middle school.”
“Back when you listened to sutras...?”
“Wow, so you really wanna make fun of me, huh.” After laughing for a bit, Sekiya-san lowered his eyes to the table. “I was upright and awkward... Ever since I finished school and saw what it’s like out here, I break out in a cold sweat when I remember myself from back then... Maybe that’s why I can’t leave you alone.”
Seeing Sekiya-san smile a bit awkwardly, I started feeling kinda bashful too.
“Thank you. What you said was helpful.” I left it at that and bowed lightly.
As it was lunchtime, all the counter seats and tables at this ramen place were occupied. It might have been a family restaurant, but I felt bad about staying here too long. Since we’d finished eating long ago, we drank some water and quickly prepared to leave.
Suddenly...
“Huh?” I said. “That’s...”
Peeking out of Sekiya-san’s bag as it sat on the chair was what clearly looked like a present. Judging by its size and the dark-brown paper it was wrapped in...there was surely chocolate inside. I couldn’t tell from the outside if it was store-bought or handmade.
“Did you get that for Valentine’s Day?” I asked.
That’s a popular guy for you, huh... He even gets chocolate at cram school...
Amid my astonishment, Sekiya-san looked at the chocolate. “Yeah, I got it from Yamana this morning,” he said nonchalantly.
“What?! You met up with her?!”
“It looks like she waited for me at the station. As I passed through, she walked up to me coming from the other direction and gave it to me without a word as we passed each other. Is she some kinda pusher or what?” Though he had said that, Sekiya-san broke into a smile as he remembered it.
Yamana-san... You wanted to give him chocolate that badly, huh.
“Are you going to get in touch with her?”
“Well, I guess I should at least say thanks,” Sekiya-san replied with a smile, which naturally prompted one from me too.
“I hope you can give Yamana-san good news soon.”
Sekiya-san smiled happily and bashfully—perhaps the words I’d said from the heart had reached him.
“Yeah... I really hope so too,” he said.
I felt bad for Nisshi, but seeing Sekiya-san’s smile now, I couldn’t help but want him to make Yamana-san happy after all.
I got to Station K shortly before 10 p.m. on my way back from cram school that day, and I ran into Kurose-san outside it.
“Oh...” I let out in surprise.
She smiled at me. “Are you back on your way from studying?”
“Ah, yeah...”
“I see. So am I. I hadn’t noticed you there.” With that, Kurose-san’s beautiful black hair fluttered as she turned around. “Well, see you.”
“Right... Be careful,” I said, remembering the incident with the molester from the other day.
Kurose-san looked back just a bit with a smile. “Don’t worry. I have a bike today.”
“Oh... Still, be careful.”
It wasn’t like riding a bike meant she’d definitely be safe from molesters.
Kurose-san stopped and looked my way again. “Don’t worry! I have this.” She pulled out a personal alarm and a small canister from her bag. It must’ve been a tear gas spray for self-defense. “Mom bought these for me after last time. So don’t worry.”
“Okay.”
Seeing her smile, I did as well as I started walking.
“See you,” she said.
“Yeah, see you,” I replied.
Watching her back as she headed to the parking lot out of the corner of my mind, I silently prayed that the rest of her life would be filled with nothing but happiness.
***
The next day was Sunday, Valentine’s Day, and I was in Harajuku with Runa.
“Ijichi-kun was hilarious that time, though! He didn’t believe that a girl gave him chocolate at all,” said Runa.
“Yeah, he was like, ‘This is a prank, right? Did you make it, Kasshi?’ Does he think I have nothing better to do?” I replied.
We were talking about Icchi’s behavior when I’d given him Tanikita-san’s handmade chocolate on Friday.
“Heh heh. That was from Akari, wasn’t it?”
“Wh-Who knows...? I sure don’t...”
“It can only be her! Nobody else would make that kinda chocolate.” Laughing, Runa took a sip from her chocolate-flavored drink.
We were at a café specializing in chocolate—Runa had said she liked the place. I couldn’t even read its name, but it had said “Lindt” in cursive. The interior had a relaxing feel, so the place was really stylish.
This room was located on the second floor. Its windows looked out on the street, and bright early afternoon sunlight shone through them. We’d come here for chocolate desserts after having eaten lunch at a fast-food place not far from Omotesando.
“I wonder if he still thinks it was a prank...?” asked Runa.
“Well, he looked a bit happy at the end. Maybe he was being cautious—like, he wanted to believe it was real, but didn’t want to get hurt if we were messing with him.”
“Makes sense... I wonder if it was his first time getting chocolate from a girl?” Runa wondered.
“Of course it was. It’s my first time too.”
When I realized that my words carried the assumption that I was about to receive some, I got embarrassed and ducked my head.
Runa grinned at me. “I’ll give some to you, don’t worry!”
There was a somewhat small paper bag in her hands. I’d been overwhelmingly curious about it today, even since I’d met up with her at the station, but I’d done my best not to mind it.
“Here you go. Happy Valentine’s Day!” she said, giving it to me with a smile.
“Ah, thank you...!”
This was the first time in my life I had received chocolate from a girl out of genuine sentiment. And it was from my beloved girlfriend...
I was deeply moved. I never thought such a day would come... I thought to myself.
“Can I open it?” I asked.
“Sure, go ahead!”
Inside the paper bag was a chocolate-colored box with a red ribbon. My hands nearly trembled with emotion as I untied it and opened the lid.
What appeared from the inside was a smallish chocolate cake. It looked sweet, complete with a heart drawn on top with powdered sugar. The sight made me feel so bashful and happy that I didn’t know what to do.
“This looks delicious... Thank you.”
“It’s a chocolate gateau! Maria taught me how to make it at her place yesterday! Before she had to go to cram school, that is.”
“Oh, I see.”
“We ate the one we made as a test and it was super delish, so you’ve got nothing to worry about!” she told me.
“Sure. I’ll cherish it as I eat.”
I couldn’t retie the ribbon as it had been, so I put it on top of the box and put it back into the paper bag. I then excitedly went back to my drink.
The cold chocolate drink I’d bought on Runa’s recommendation was pretty and had what looked like melted chocolate drawn on the inside of the cup. It was delicious too, with a strong smell of chocolate.
“So, it’s your first time getting chocolate for Valentine’s Day, huh...” said Runa all of a sudden, as though reflecting upon the matter while she gazed at her drink. “It’s my first time too—giving handmade chocolate to my boyfriend, I mean.”
“Really?”
That makes me happy...
As that thought passed through my head, Runa opened her mouth, letting the straw stuck in her drink slip from her lips.
“There were times when I felt like they were hoping for it, but it sounded like too much trouble, and I didn’t want to screw it up.”
“But you still made something this time,” I said with a big, happy smile on my face.
Runa smiled too, gently. “I wanted to, for you. My homemade food always makes you happy.”
“It does... Thank you, Runa.”
As I expressed my gratitude again, Runa blushed. “You’re welcome...”
It was a happy time. If happiness had a smell, it must’ve smelled like chocolate. At this moment, the air around us was full of sugary-sweet comfort.
Suddenly, Runa started to look restless. “Hey, there’s something I wanna ask you...” she said.
“Huh? What is it?”
I really couldn’t think of what it could be, or what might be difficult for me to answer, so I looked her in the eye and I wondered what this was about.
Averting her eyes, Runa narrowed her lips and looked a bit awkward. “Do you watch videos for mature people, Ryuto?”
“For mature people?”
“Yeah.”
“Uh, I dunno... Are you talking about, like, war films?”
“Ah, no, I mean...erotic ones?”
“E-Erotic? Um, uhh... A-Are you talking about porn?” I asked hesitantly, at which point Runa nodded. “Wh-Why do you ask?”
“Just answer me. Do you? Or no?”
“Huh...?!”
Runa sounded impatient, and I wondered why I had to answer a question like this.
“I-I do,” I replied.
Runa’s eyes began to sparkle. “What kind?”
“What?!”
I-Is she asking me what genres I watch?
Why is she asking me this, anyway? Does she want to make sure I don’t have any deviant interests so she can feel safe in the future?
Either way, my only option was to give a run-of-the-mill reply.
“Stuff with high school girls, I guess...?”
It’s normal for guys in high school to watch that sort of thing, right? I’m sure it is, I thought to myself over and over as I gave my answer.
“Uh-huh...” Runa blinked repeatedly. “So you like high school girls?”
“Huh...?” I was taken aback. “Well, I mean, you’re one too...”
“What?” But this time, she was the one looking confused.
That made me flustered. “Ah, i-it’s not like I imagine you when I watch it...!”
“You don’t?” Runa looked dejected, which made me panic even more.
“What?! Whaaat?! Um, uhh... Well...”
She still looked downcast as I stammered.
“Maybe I do,” I eventually replied after a pause.
Her face brightened up. “For real?”
Wh-What the hell is going on here?!
“Hey, so, do you imagine me in dirty situations?” she asked.
“What?!”
“C’mon, tell me! Do you?!”
“I-I do...”
A lot. So much that I can’t tell her.
“You do?! I couldn’t tell by looking at you!”
“Whaaat?!”
If anything, I thought it would be weird if a guy walked around with a face that made it obvious that he was thinking about sex all the time.
“Hey, so, what kinda stuff do you imagine?” she asked. “What am I like in your imagination?”
“Huh? Wait, uhh...”
“C’mon, it’s fine, tell me!”
“I think that’s a bit...”
“C’mon, tell me!”
At that point, we heard a woman at a table next to us clear her throat, which made us stop. Sitting alone with her eyes pointed at her book, she looked irritated.
It appeared that we’d made a bit too much noise. And about something indecent too... It couldn’t have been a worse topic for this café’s atmosphere.
Having reflected on our actions, we picked up our unfinished drinks and left.
The avenue leading up to the nearby shrine was full of people as we stepped outside the café. Runa looked like she could start humming at any moment as she walked along, looking into the windows of fancy stores.
Today she wore a shortish white down coat over a loose-fitting sweater with overly long sleeves. Below that was a tight miniskirt and tall boots. The sweater’s sleeves were particularly cute—the thought that I wouldn’t get to see her like this for much longer made me wistful about the passing of seasons.
“You know, recently I’ve been getting this strong sense of...being free, I guess?” said Runa. Her fresh, clear tone matched the brisk winter air. “It was super shocking when I found out my dad was getting remarried and the ‘Lisa and Lottie’ plan went under...but now, I feel kinda lighthearted. I can put the idea of going back to those days behind me now since I know it won’t happen.”
As we walked down the street amid the crowds, the dry, freezing air lightly brushed against our cheeks.
“Still, it’s not like my family’s gone or anything,” Runa continued. “If I treasure the relationships I have with my dad, my mom, my older sister, and Maria, I’m sure our family bonds will remain. Just like back then.” Runa’s eyes sparkled with a vivid light. “I’ve become free, at last. Free from my desire to return to the past.”
Saying that, Runa raised one hand high—the one that wasn’t holding a drink. The ring on her ring finger reflected the mild sunlight, the white stone glittering together with her earrings. A calm blue sky was just beyond her slim fingers and the branches of the tall Japanese elm trees.
“You can’t go back, not ever. I feel like I’ve finally come to accept that,” Runa added. As she gazed up at the sky, her profile brimmed with her strong will.
A bird cut through the blue expanse above us.
“I won’t look at the distant sky anymore—I’ll never reach it. Instead, I’ll only look ahead of me. I’m not a bird, so I can’t live my life in a way that fits me if I’m attracted to places I can’t go.” Then, Runa looked at me and smiled. Her expression was like the sun in early summer and fit her to a tee. “All right, from now on I’m gonna walk toward the future!” she said cheerfully, picking up the pace.
Although the roadside trees weren’t green in winter, we knew there were countless buds living on their branches.
I was sure that something was changing in a big way inside Runa.
“Maria said she wants to be a manga editor. I need to find a dream for myself too. I’ve gotten a bit of a late start compared to everyone else... Think I can do it?” Runa asked me. She looked a bit worried.
“Of course. It’s you we’re talking about,” I said firmly. “There’s actually something I need to say to you too...”
I hadn’t actually planned to tell her yet, but after seeing her like this, I felt like I had to.
“I’m thinking of aiming for Houo University.”
Runa opened her eyes wide at my confession. “What? Houo? That Houo? The place where supersmart people go?”
“Y-Yeah...”
“Wow, that’s crazy! Like, seriously!”
Runa’s unexpectedly big reaction made me flinch. “Well, I mean, anyone can aim for it... I need to work hard from now on so I can actually get in, though,” I said.
She made a fist and shook it around earnestly. “Of course you’ll get in! You’re really smart.”
“Thank you, Runa.”
When she said that, I started feeling like it really might just happen.
“Let’s do our best together! I’m gonna support you real hard!” Saying that vigorously, Runa looked like something had suddenly occurred to her, and a gentle smile appeared on her face. “Yeah. If it’s for your sake, I can support you from the bottom of my heart,” she said, as though thinking deeply about the matter.
“Thank you, Runa.” Feeling stronger on the inside, I smiled back at Runa. “I’ll support you too.”
At that point, we looked at each other and smiled again.
“It’s like we’re each other’s cheering squad,” said Runa.
“Yeah,” I replied.
I wanted to be her ally, no matter when or where.
The fact that I’d managed to meet someone I could love so strongly and who loved me back was a treasure—the best thing that had ever happened to me.
No matter what future you choose, I’ll support you.
Let us keep smiling together from now on.
Forever.
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