Our Dating Story: The Experienced You and The Inexperienced Me - Volume 4 - Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The new year began.

In the afternoon on January 1, Runa and I went for our first shrine visit of the year together.

“What a nice view,” I remarked, looking around us after we had fully climbed the stairs to a shrine located high up.

There was a residential area and train tracks with passing trains nearby, but the panoramic view spread far into the distance, offering a pleasant view under a clear winter sky.

This shrine was located close to Station A. Apparently, Runa’s father and grandmother had taken her here a long time ago. It seemed to be popular among locals making their first shrine visit of the year—there was a line of visitors here even in the afternoon.

“Yeah...it is,” Runa replied, not being very talkative at the moment.

She looked cold and had her neck surrounded by her soft white shawl. We kept our linked hands in the pocket of my coat.

She was dressed well and appropriately for New Year’s. The vibrant cool colors of her kimono suited her well—she looked precious enough that I wanted to keep my eyes on her forever.

Contrary to Runa’s outfit, however, her expression was anything but bright.

She hadn’t been very lively since Christmas. Runa seemed to have already completely recovered from her cold, so it didn’t appear to be an issue of her health.

“Apparently, Fukusato-san is coming over tomorrow,” she said.

Fukusato-san was the name of Runa’s father’s future wife. From what I’d been told, she worked at the reception desk at a hospital in Osaka. She’d come to know Runa’s father through a dating app, and they’d been seeing each other since the summer.

They’d apparently both been traveling between Tokyo and Osaka for a while and only seen each other a few times a month. However, she’d found a job in Tokyo and had moved to this area recently.

“By the way, you know how one day before the sports day, my dad suddenly said he couldn’t come? Turns out he was going with his girlfriend to look at the apartment she’s renting now. Her real estate agent called her and said that a place that suited her needs opened up, but that she had to decide right away because there were other people who’d be interested in it too. So she asked my dad to come look at it with her since she was coming to Tokyo. It wasn’t a business trip.”

“So that’s how it was...”

I couldn’t think of anything better to say.

He was Runa’s father, so I didn’t want to criticize him, but as Runa’s boyfriend, I couldn’t help feeling angry at him. How could he act like that when he had a daughter?

Of course, he was unmarried at the moment, so he was free to have a girlfriend and go see her. But should he really prioritize another woman over his high-school-aged daughter’s school event that she was excited about?

“I’m not looking forward to tomorrow. I have plans to hang out with Nicole too, but Dad said I have to at least say hello to Fukusato-san before that. And that I have to apologize because my behavior on Christmas Eve shocked her.”

“I see.”

Was there really a need for Runa to say she was sorry? Maybe so if you considered her father’s situation, but I just couldn’t wrap my head around it.

“This sucks... Everything sucks. Apparently, she’s gonna move in with us in March. She’s going to take the room next to mine, the one that used to be my grandpa’s study.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“It really sucks... I wanna get out of that house before that happens. Nicole offered that I could go to her place, but they only have two rooms and I’d feel bad for her mother. I can’t go there for months, you know?” Runa sighed. “Man, I hate it... What should I do? Should I get a part-time job? Can a high schooler even rent an apartment to live alone in?”

“Well...”

I’d never looked into the subject, so I couldn’t say for sure, but it’d probably be difficult without getting permission from your parents.

Seeing me stuck for a reply, Runa smiled all of a sudden. “If only I could live with you.”

While her tone was joking, I could tell she was half serious.

“Well, why don’t we?” I said.

“Huh...?” Her eyes began to wander. “Wait, how would we do that?”

“We could go to some town far away...”

“Where would we live?”

“I guess a hotel would be too expensive...”

In that case, we could go to Runa’s great-grandmother Sayo-san’s house, where we’d stayed during our summer break. Or maybe my grandparents’ house... Either way, if we stayed somewhere else and didn’t go to school, our parents would be contacted right away. We couldn’t live somewhere like that for long.

Since we couldn’t rent a whole house or an apartment, that left us with only one option—some kind of boarding house.

And to do that, we would have to make money somehow.

“I’ll work,” I said. “I can look into day labor or something and we’ll manage somehow.”

“Wait, but what about school? You’ve been studying so hard at cram school too...”

Runa was right—I would have to give up on high school or trying to get into college.

And besides, I couldn’t even imagine what kind of daily employment there was or how to find places that offered it. Even if I got lucky and found myself a job, it might require extreme physical labor, and as I didn’t have confidence in my physical strength, I doubted I could make Runa happy that way—Runa, who’d said she wanted to get married and have three kids.

The more I thought about it, the more I could only see it ending in failure, so I was forced to go silent for a moment.

“Sorry... I guess that wasn’t realistic,” I said.

“It’s okay, Ryuto. Your feelings are enough.” Runa smiled gently. “I guess it’s impossible right now. So when I said I wanted us to live together, that was a joke, heh heh,” she said with an awfully cheerful voice. She looked at me warmly as I stood there with a pitiful look on my face.

Being powerless made me depressed. My only source of comfort was that Runa seemed to have recovered her own spirits.

In the meantime, the line of shrine visitors had moved, and before we knew it, we kind of got pushed to the front of the saisen box. Following the nearby adults’ example, I bowed twice, clapped twice, and then brought my hands together.

Having finished my prayer, I opened my eyes and saw that Runa still had hers closed as she stood beside me.

We left the line and walked through the shrine grounds, feeling a light sense of liberation.

“What did you pray for?” she asked.

“Well...” I hesitated and wondered if I should tell her or not. “I prayed that you’ll have a happy year.” I couldn’t have chosen anything else after seeing the way she’d been earlier. “So don’t worry. If two people prayed for that, that prayer should reach the god here.”

Everyone must’ve prayed for their own sake before others, so since Runa and I had both prayed for her, I figured it would have a bigger impact on the local god of this shrine than anyone else here’s prayers.

May nothing ever take this wonderful girl’s smile away from her again, I prayed once more inside my mind as though making doubly sure.

“Ryuto...” Runa’s eyes glistened as she stared at me. Suddenly, her expression shifted, and she looked as though she was laughing and crying at the same time. “Heh heh, sorry. I guess what you did might’ve been kinda pointless,” she added.

“Huh?”

While I wondered what she meant, she smiled at me.

“I prayed that you’ll become happy and that you could take my share too.”

“Runa...”

Her words went straight to my heart and I felt warm inside.

What a kind girl. To think that she’d pray for someone else’s happiness despite her own difficult situation right now...

“Hey, what happens in cases like this?” asked Runa, looking deeply curious. “Does it mean we’ll both become happy?”

Her words made me crack a smile. “Yeah, probably.”

We reached out to each other simultaneously and linked our hands before descending the shrine’s stairs.

This was supposed to be the time of day graced by the most sun, but the wind hitting my face was cold enough to make my nose hurt.

As we walked along, huddling together and seeking each other’s warmth, I had a feeling that the god had already granted Runa’s wish.

“Hey, you wanna stop to get something to drink?” she asked once we’d finished going down the stairs. We had been heading in the direction of her house for no particular reason.

“Sure, but... Is that okay? Aren’t your dad and grandma home right now?”

“Yeah... That’s why I want to.” Runa hung her head with a stiff expression. “I don’t wanna be near Dad right now... He’d totally start talking about tomorrow.”

“Right...”

I understood how she felt, so we went to a chain café in front of the station.

“Haaah... Man, I really don’t wanna go home,” said Runa, having a sip of her drink. “Will I have to feel this way every day in March and beyond...? It’s my home...”

“You haven’t had a proper talk with Fukusato-san yet, right? Maybe she’s a good person...”

“No way,” Runa immediately replied. “I mean, if Dad marries her, she’ll be my new ‘Mom,’ right? The only one I need is the one I already have...”

She shook her mug with both hands as if to melt the caramel layer of her macchiato.

The heat was on in this café and it was relaxingly warm, but Runa’s expression remained stiff.

“I can’t accept it. How can I accept that my father is sleeping with some woman who has nothing to do with me whatsoever, under the same roof...?” She stopped moving her cup around. “I don’t wanna think about it... It’s disgusting,” she said, as though spitting those words out.

Recently, I’d gradually noticed that Runa wasn’t just a mature, understanding “good girl.” Perhaps the things she accepted on a daily basis with a smile on her face actually just didn’t matter to her.

But when it came to things she couldn’t concede, like the Lisa and Lottie thing, I saw how stubborn, obstinate, and selfish she was.

She wasn’t just bright like the sun. There was a shade to her too, like the moon. She had a kanji for “moon” in her name, after all.

Runa wasn’t a “good girl” nor an adult. She was just an ordinary seventeen-year-old girl that one could find anywhere.

And this ordinary girl was now sighing in front of me.

“If only I could live with you.”

The words she’d said to me earlier played on repeat in my head. At the same time, that same feeling of powerlessness I’d felt earlier came over me again. Runa was going through so much trouble—was praying to gods really the only thing I could do for her?

If only I were an adult...

If I were earning money and being self-reliant, I could openly invite her to come live with me.

With the way I was now, though, there was nothing I could do. If two high schoolers high on emotions ran away together, they couldn’t make it last—that much was clear.

So what could I do?

I had to think about it.

If I couldn’t give Runa a place where she would be comfortable, I had to protect the one she was in now. What could I do to that end...?

“Runa, can I stop by your house for a bit?” I asked.

“Huh?” Surprise appeared on her face. “But my dad and grandma are home.”

“I know. I feel bad dropping in on them on New Year’s, but I want to talk to your dad for a moment.”

I didn’t know if a guy like me could convince her father of anything, but there was no other way.

I’d never wanted to be an adult as badly as I did now.

However, I wasn’t one. Frustrating as it was, I was far from it.

Children needed adults to protect them. There was no way around it—it was unavoidable. So, instead of recklessly running away with Runa, I wanted to ask her father to protect the place where she could be herself.

This surely was the only thing I could do.

***

The sounds of a New Year’s comedy special on TV permeated the living room of the Shirakawa family home.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” her father asked, giving me a dubious look.

He seemed to have sensed something unusual about me as I sat in the seiza position. I’d refused his invitation to sit at the kotatsu instead.

Runa’s father was wearing a sweatshirt and he had bed head. His current appearance was a stark difference from the one I’d witnessed the other day.

There was what appeared to be osechi foods on a plate atop the kotatsu along with a few cans of beer. I really felt like I was intruding upon someone’s private space at home—it made me shrink out of a sense of guilt.

While Runa’s grandmother had been surprised at my sudden visit on New Year’s, she’d offered me zōni soup and had gone to the kitchen to make some. She was just as cheerful and fashionable as Runa had said, and her abundant gray hair had been dyed purple with a hint of pink.

“Right. So...” My voice nearly trembled as I barely managed to force it out. “I have...a request...”

“A request?”

“W-Well... Runa-san is terribly shocked that in March, she’ll have to live with your future spouse... Um, uhh, I was hoping there might be a way you could wait...” I said timidly, keeping my eyes down all the while.

Runa’s father shook his head in apparent exasperation. “I’ve already talked to Runa about that.”

I felt like his eyes were saying, “Did you really come here to talk about something like that?” as though he was amazed at my behavior.

Runa sat in a seiza position behind me, just like I was.

Giving her a glance, her father continued. “I have my own life. Family members are individuals too. We have to respect each other’s freedom, even if we live together. That’s exactly why I’ve given quite a lot of freedom to Runa all this time. She’s already seventeen. She’s an adult, so I need her to be understanding on this.”

His words irritated me. This was the third time I’d felt the humiliating frustration I’d experienced at the shrine earlier.

“High school students are not adults...” I said.

I’d used to think I wanted to become an adult to catch up to Runa as soon as I could. But neither of us was an adult yet.

Being a high school student is a warped existence. We practically look like adults, our hobbies and ideas are clear-cut, we can think for ourselves, and we can do almost everything adults can do, which makes us feel like we’re adults too.

But we can’t live alone. Because we still don’t have a way of earning a living.

It’s frustrating, irritating, and there’s nothing we can do about it—high school students are still children.

And adults have a duty to protect children.

“It’s the role of an adult to create a place where a child can live and have peace of mind every day,” I continued.

We can’t live without that.

“Please... Don’t turn this house into a place where Runa-san can’t be herself anymore...” I said.

I could tell by the rustling of clothes that Runa behind me was lowering her head, just like I was.

“That’s easier said than done...” replied her father after a brief silence. “I have my circumstances too. I didn’t want to say this to my daughter, but...”

When I raised my head, I saw that Runa’s father had an awkward expression on his face.

“My girlfriend has gynecological troubles... A chronic disease in her womb, to be specific. She’s already thirty-seven, it’s her first time marrying, and she wants children. Natural conception might be difficult, so we’re planning to start fertility treatments.” Lightly scratching his head, her father continued in a subdued tone. “We’ve already spoken to a doctor, and apparently active treatments can only be done with a spouse. That’s why we have to get married quickly.”

Her father kept averting his eyes, and I too felt like I shouldn’t look at him directly. Instead, I directed my eyes at the floor and walls.

“It’s not like we’ve abandoned all hope of natural conception either... With all that in mind, I want us to live together as soon as we can.”

Faced with a string of words too raw for a virgin like me, my eyes wandered all over the place. I couldn’t catch what he meant very well. As if that weren’t enough, the fact it was my girlfriend’s father saying all this to me made me nervous, and my heart was pounding wildly out of control. I felt like I really didn’t belong here—I wanted to get out right away.

However.

If I accepted his reasoning and backed down here, Runa’s situation wouldn’t improve.

Runa’s father had his circumstances. But what I had on my mind was Runa’s happiness. There were things I’d given up before because I put her first. Kurose-san flashed through my mind.

If that was something that even I could do, why couldn’t Runa’s father do that as someone who was supposed to love his daughter more than anyone?

Taking a deep breath, I began speaking again. “Um... I think you might be going about this the wrong way.”

Maybe what I was about to say to him was really rude, but since I’d ended my friendship with Kurose-san, I couldn’t leave without saying it.

“I-I know this is rude, but sir... Did you part ways with Runa-san’s mother to marry this woman?”

Runa’s father had an openly aggrieved look on his face. “Of course not. I only got to know her recently.”

Taking advantage of that opening, I pressed on. “Then... Would you have ever formed a relationship with her if you had never cheated on your wife...?”

It felt like this was my first time seeing the face of a grown man who’d gone speechless in front of me.

Before he could retort, I racked my brain for additional convincing arguments.

“Would you mind prioritizing the happiness...of the daughter you already have...over a child who may or may not be born in the future?” I asked.

I felt like I was saying something cruel. If Fukusato-san heard this, she would surely be hurt. But Runa’s father had already done something worse.

“She has already been hurt so many times,” I continued.

I didn’t say who had hurt Runa, but surely he would understand regardless. There was no doubt his impression of me was now the worst it could be.

However, I figured I was fine with it. I didn’t like it when people hated me, but if it meant protecting Runa...

That said, when I saw her father still being at a loss for words, I became flustered. I went on in order to smooth things over.

“Oh, uhh...it’s not like Runa-san doesn’t want you to get married. I don’t think she would oppose it if you only registered your marriage. She just wants you to wait a little before you two start living together. At the very least, for just over a year...until Runa-san graduates from high school.”

The father kept hanging his head in silence—I couldn’t tell if what I said had registered with him.

I could hear Runa’s grandmother humming and the sounds of a knife coming from the kitchen. She surely hadn’t the slightest idea of what was going on here in the living room.

The popular comedians cracking jokes on TV looked more like people from a different planet.

There was nothing else I needed to say here and I endured this hellish silence.

Runa’s father suddenly got up. “I think it’s about time you left,” he said. There was unconcealed anger on his face, as one might expect.

“A-As you wish... My apologies for the sudden visit,” I said, staggering to my feet from a seiza position.

I felt pathetic about having failed my attempt at persuasion. All I’d achieved was angering Runa’s father.

When I made eye contact with Runa, however, her eyes were sparkling faintly.